A/N: Brace yourselves for a long and rather useless chapter!

I already explained this in my fic 'It's Not Fair' but I now have a Ko-fi page (you'll find the link at the notes at the bottom of the page) where you can offer your support to what I do and commission me. I was commissioned for the ending of 'It's Not Fair' so that's what I've been working on, and what I plan to finish before the end of the year. This to say that, while I definitely WON'T be dropping this fic, it might take a while for another update to follow. Let's see how fast I can pull the completion of 'It's Not Fair' and we might all just get a surprise ;)

BETAED BY THE LOVELY IXTAB-LOVES-ME FROM TUMBLR! THANK YOU FOR YOUR HARD WORK, MY DEAR, I'M TRULY GRATEFUL!

Enjoy your reading, and please read the notes at the bottom!


From Which We'll Rise

Part XXI: Conflicting Thoughts

"Do you understand the promise you just made, Naruto?" Kurama asked, leaning down so his sneering snout was at Naruto's body level. "Do you think Sasuke even took you seriously after everything you've already said and done up until this point?"

Naruto and Kurama were talking in the dark depths of Naruto's core. Unable to keep his mouth shut, the nine-tailed fox had felt the need to interfere because he felt like things were quickly getting out of hand, and even if Naruto thought they were changing for the best, he had a feeling this wasn't true, no matter what his vessel thought.

Outside, Naruto's physical body was too busy straddling the Uchiha man's thighs and putting his arms around his neck, pressing himself close in an almost desperate need for contact. A tightening in his belly and a heat in his groin gave away his arousal, and the unsteady way his heart was beating was proof of how much he had yearned for this easy and simple type of interaction.

Sasuke's mouth allowed Naruto to kiss him at will - Naruto was aware of this. Their tongues touched and slid over each other sensually before their lips brushed almost in slow motion. Sasuke's arm slid around Naruto's waist. When they were like this, it was as if they had electricity running within themselves and it was such a rush it made it hard for them to be still, let alone keep their hands off each other.

A low, appreciative sound emerged from Sasuke's mouth.

It was obvious that Sasuke was revelling in this as much as Naruto was – hell, Naruto's body could feel Sasuke's energy pulsating with raw want - but his actions were premeditated and calculated, his aura clearly dripping with longing and simultaneous pride – a warning that this wasn't to escalate or there would be repercussions. Sasuke didn't fuck around if his pride was at stake, and right now, the Uchiha was fucking upset regardless of him having accepted this intimacy with Naruto.

The disappointment deep in Naruto's soul was piercing, yet he convinced himself that even this would have to be enough. Naruto had needs, yet he respected Sasuke above any other living human or creature, so it was automatic for him to simply accept Sasuke's wish and be understanding.

Anything as long as he could have Sasuke. Kurama wanted to weep, or growl, or beat some sense into both of them.

How many times had he seen this sort of dance between them? How many more times would they hurt each other because they were too stubborn to just do something for themselves instead of fucking thinking about the greater good or whatever it was that moved them and made them this ridiculous?

In Naruto's core, the blond crossed his arms over his chest, his mouth making a thoughtful pout. His eyes, however, seemed like luminous sapphires in the darkness that surrounded them – a vibrant hue that Kurama hadn't seen since the day the man had last parted ways with Sasuke all those months previously after their long journey.

Naruto 'tsked' and looked away from Kurama's wild, piercing eyes before kicking slightly at the water under the soles of his sandaled feet. "It doesn't matter if he didn't. I'm not stupid; I know exactly what I said and why. I meant it."

Kurama didn't blink, watching his receptacle closely. He almost had the urge to roll his eyes but instead, he simply narrowed them. "I'm the first one to tell you that whatever hell you put Uchiha Sasuke through suits him just right," Kurama said, his voice a low whisper of exasperation. "But he is who he is to you; the person who's hurt you the most, and the person you are hurting the most in return. He is the person your heart desires the most, and I know that as well as you do. But, while I do know your intentions are genuine, I can't help but think that…"

"You don't believe me," Naruto interjected, looking up at Kurama with a frown that was both surprised and hurt. "You don't believe I'll do it."

Kurama actually hesitated. He had long since given up on trying to talk to Naruto about Uchiha Sasuke because whenever he tried, Naruto always had arguments to fight him with and his own feelings to put on the table. Naruto's love life had always been frustrating to watch since the very beginning, and it had become considerably more pathetic (although immensely more interesting) to watch from the moment Naruto had first willingly forced their first real kiss in that alley in Konoha. However, Kurama thought, it had all gone down to shit from then on as well, as they both had promptly thrown themselves at each other only to fuck it all up in the end. Kurama genuinely didn't know which of the two was more infuriating.

It wasn't as if Kurama liked Uchiha Sasuke by no means, but it remained an undeniable fact that Naruto's feelings for the man had always run deep. After all, Kurama had had a front row seat to everything relating to Naruto.

There was no doubt that Sasuke himself cared for Naruto more than he did about his own life. Kurama's personal feelings towards Sasuke had nothing to do with this when Sasuke would gladly die if it meant he could protect Naruto. Granted, the bastard had tried to kill Naruto as well, but it all turned out to be out of 'love' in the end - not that this was enough to justify his past actions either way.

It was all very clear yet confusing to Kurama, who had watched them move around each other since the very beginning and still couldn't grasp things between them accurately, even if he had complete awareness of Naruto's feelings, thoughts and body reactions. He had understood how Naruto had felt for Sasuke even before Naruto himself did, but Kurama wasn't exactly one to interfere and offer input unless he strongly believed that Naruto was stepping out of line and making his own life more difficult.

Right now, that was what Naruto was doing. If he had made a choice, he should just stick to it to the very end.

It didn't matter anyway. There were several types of 'love' between them. There was also hate and a huge amount of frustration and a distant co-dependence that was a little sick to watch. Kurama felt it in his very being – Naruto's loneliness, the lust, the love, the excitement, the anger, the anxiety – and all of this was as pure as it was tainted. It was like liquid silk yet dirty and violent. There was no rational, emotional, philosophical or astral answer to any of it. Their light and their darkness attracted them both to each other with a force literally noone could stop.

Naruto's willpower when it came to Sasuke was like an endless well. How Naruto felt when he looked at Sasuke – the way his eyes and mind perceived him…

Kurama would feel torn between disgust and embarrassment if he hadn't been used to it already.

It wasn't exactly that Naruto put Sasuke on some kind of pedestal. Naruto knew Sasuke's flaws all too well, but he had accepted them all the same.

One could not forget that Sasuke was the only person in the world (aside from Kurama himself) who had seen Naruto's heart – all of it – and knew it like no-one else. No matter what people thought of the Uchiha, and no matter how seemingly crazy his actions were, it was a fact that he was the only one who knew Naruto better than Naruto would ever know himself.

If there was someone who would always know Naruto and accept him completely, that person would always be Sasuke.

The same happened the other way around, and maybe this was why those two were so hung up on each other the way they were. It was an acceptance that went beyond any kind of rational train of thought. Because the other existed, they were able to live. Because they had each other, they could never be alone.

They would always have acceptance from each other.

If Kurama had to speak of it to anyone, he supposed that, from Naruto's part, it was… infatuation mixed with obsession. These feelings were both directed at Sasuke, but most of all, at the exclusiveness of how Sasuke made him feel - and Sasuke did make Naruto feel things in a way that literally no one else had ever been able to. With Sasuke, it was as if pleasurable and painful feelings and sensations were elevated to the maximum, and indeed, it was overwhelming; so much in fact that for Naruto it was almost like a vice. Uchiha Sasuke was like an addiction, a fix Naruto could not get anywhere else, and it had always baffled Kurama that this wasn't simply for sexual reasons.

Sasuke's mere existence, the mere sight of the man never failed to make happiness and relief bubble over inside of Naruto.

Because they were bounded, Kurama knew it was the same for Sasuke.

Kurama simply didn't understand why such a bond had to be this complicated. He had literally groaned to himself when Naruto had told Hinata that he loved her. Naruto had been so naïve, but back then, if Kurama had interfered in Sasuke's behalf, Naruto wouldn't have believed him - he'd been that oblivious and ignorant of his own feelings towards the Uchiha. Sasuke had been partially right in telling Naruto that he had to figure things out for himself, otherwise he'd never accept the truth.

It wasn't like Kurama favoured Sasuke over Hinata – the woman was beautiful and dedicated to Naruto, of course – it was just that he had known it would come down to this, eventually. For Naruto, it had to be Sasuke. His heart had told him so from the very beginning, but only now was Naruto's mind keeping up with it.

Kurama just wanted Naruto to be happy and stop being an idiot. He had chosen Hinata over Sasuke, and he had chosen Konoha over Sasuke and now he had to deal with his own choices, as Sasuke had pointed out very wisely.

But Naruto couldn't help but want more. If he and Sasuke had never kissed, maybe Naruto would've never realized how deep his feelings for him were. However, as soon as he had the first taste, letting go had been impossible. And Naruto was vehemently refusing to let go – he simply couldn't.

Kurama understood Naruto's passion but couldn't really find the will to excuse the hurtful things Naruto was doing. From the moment he had chosen Hinata and Konoha, Naruto should've moved on with his life, and Sasuke had been right in wanting for them to stay away from each other since it was the right thing to do. However, Naruto, torn between his own choices and his longing, had a hard time facing the fact that he couldn't simply have it all, so he kept demanding things of Sasuke and pushing their boundaries, even knowing that it was killing them both.

And now, poor Hinata was added to the mix and Naruto couldn't even be rational enough to see that what he was doing was immensely selfish and only for his own benefit.

Who would've thought that the guy who had been selfless and sensitive to the pain of others would now allow others to hurt?

The problem was that he was hurting himself, too.

Honestly, Kurama had no idea for whom he felt the sorrier. He knew Naruto was dumb but never in a million years would he expect him to be this much of a dumbass.

How someone like Sasuke could put up with him remained a mystery. Then again, nobody really chooses who they love, and Naruto was a unique and loveable character.

Kurama knew it wasn't just that, though. Naruto was someone who had wanted to be loved for a long time, and now that he had so many types of 'love' coming from all sides, he didn't want to give up on any of them – after all, he had fought so hard to have that recognition.

But now he was making Sasuke promises he didn't even know how he was going to keep when he had a wife and a kid waiting for him back at Konoha.

In a way, he had hoped that Sasuke would refuse Naruto – he was disappointed. Still, he knew that at least the Uchiha wasn't one to take things quietly – Uchiha Sasuke did not simply accept things without making sure he'd fight back.

"You are asking him to wait for you while you accomplish all your dreams," Kurama said to Naruto, mockingly. "Only after you have everything you've ever wanted will you give yourself to him. Sounds selfish and cruel to me. I wouldn't accept that lightly."

At this, Naruto bit down on his lower lip and looked away, looking genuinely in pain. "I know I'm selfish," he muttered. "I can't help it. He didn't really make it easier for us,either. He chose to not be with me."

"And you chose to go back to your wife," Kurama pointed out, making Naruto flinch. "You could've broken up with her and have your merry affair with Sasuke from a distance, like you want to have now. You could've been faithful to him if you wanted to own him that much. But no, you had to have it all. Sasuke, Hinata, Konoha…"

"I know that already!" Naruto snapped, looking up at Kurama again with resentment. "I know I fuck up constantly, Kurama! I know I'm just fucking things up left and right, but there's no turning back now!" Naruto brought both palms of his hands to his eyes, rubbing them tiredly before once more looking resolutely up at him. "I want Sasuke. I will have him no matter what, and long before we're both old and wrinkly."

How possessive Naruto sounded, Kurama thought, his eyes narrowing. Just like a wild animal towards their lifetime mate. "Of course, you still need to be young enough if you want to enjoy a few years of fucking him," he teased, with a nasty grin.

Naruto's cheeks reddened. "I don't want to just fuck him, Kurama!"

The fox's grin slowly dissipated. He knew that.

"You're hurting him," Kurama said slowly. "And Hinata. All of this will have strong repercussions on your life and in the future of your family. You can't make others happy unless you are happy yourself, Naruto."

"I am… not unhappy," Naruto corrected. "It's just that my feelings for Sasuke are really frustrating. They make me anxious and I just can't avoid… reacting to them and reaching out to him. But I love Hinata, and I love Boruto. I want to make them happy, as well."

"I know you do," Kurama acknowledged. "But you're still hanging onto something you don't have. Something you won't have for a long time." Kurama frowned. "Sasuke won't go easy on you, Naruto. He won't simply spread his legs for you upon sight. He won't just bend to your whims or come to you just because you want to see him. He might even take other lovers – he already has."

The thought alone seemed to have made Naruto's nerves catch fire. He took a deep breath through his nose and clenched his fists at his sides. "There's nothing I can do about that," he said, his voice lowering to a firm murmur that he used to mask his simmering anger. "I have Hinata as my lover, too. He has Sakura-chan. I know there were others, too, but it doesn't matter as long as I know he's mine. There will never be anyone else for me, just as it is for him. Sex is just sex, in the end."

Heaving a sigh, Kurama finally moved his snout away from Naruto, straightening his back so he was sitting and looking down at the man. "I don't understand you," he said flatly. "You're way over your head about this, brat. I only want you to do what's best for you, but I do believe that you are chewing more than you can swallow. You should just spare yourself of the trouble and your life would be a lot easier."

In spite of himself, Naruto smiled – a gentle smile that was reassuring but also surprisingly self-aware. "Was there ever a time when life was easy for me?" he asked, shaking his head. "No matter what he did, Sasuke didn't really make it harder – he was actually the reason why I could go through everything the way I did and the reason why I became as strong as I am today. I was naïve, and now I have to take responsibility for it, and I will." His smile broadened, more genuinely now. "Look at all the great things I have ahead of me! I have so much to protect and to accomplish, Kurama! You should know how I work already! I would die before ever going back on my promises!"

Kurama could only exhale, eyeing Naruto dejectedly from over his snout. "It's not that I don't have faith in you," he said, carefully. "It's just that I think you could avoid a lot of unnecessary damage if you would just pick a side now."

Indeed, Kurama understood that it wasn't easy for Naruto to simply give away what was important to him, both Sasuke and what he had back at Konoha.

It was still selfish, but Kurama could be sympathetic.

"Don't worry and just have faith in me!" Naruto said, now jovially, placing both hands over his hips with an arrogant grin that reminded Kurama of his younger days. "I'll find a way to fix it! You know me and Sasuke; there's no way we won't figure it out!"

Kurama couldn't help but snort.

In the end, hadn't that been more of a problem instead of a solution?

000

Sasuke couldn't remember if there had ever been a time in his life when conversations with Naruto hadn't left him feeling emotionally exhausted. How he hadn't gotten used to it already never ceased to amaze him.

He actually felt… incredibly stupid. There should be a limit to how much devotion a heart should have towards another person before becoming this pathetic.

It wasn't as though Sasuke didn't know Naruto kept all his promises, but the truth was, he also tended to dress everything up to make it look a lot easier and practical than it was in reality. And Sasuke was all about being practical, but sometimes certain things that sounded simple at first were actually the most complicated in the end. Depending on the perspective, of course.

Naruto wanted to relieve his own spirit off of the burden of his choices so he could live an easier life, and it wasn't like Sasuke could blame him - after all, they were only humans prone to having desires and feelings that often were too strong to ignore. And, all things considered, some of their feelings towards each other were far beyond their control due to their karmic connection. It wasn't like Sasuke didn't understand this; it wasn't like he couldn't feel in his own skin the emotional and spiritual impact that staying away from Naruto had for both of them. It was infinitely easier to give in and simply say 'fuck it' and not give it too much thought.

Affection, aggression, gazes, deep talks with or without words, expressions of their hearts' longings without boundaries… these were all things they had done before, when their passion had just been found and the world had seemed to belong to the two of them alone. Back then, despite how fatidic things had turned out to be, Sasuke had been fed with the illusion that those days would never end – that they'd keep travelling together forever – and that same illusion had hurt him to this very day.

It wasn't as though Sasuke needed Naruto's words of love and devotion; in fact, most of the times he wished the other man would simply shut the fuck up and keep his feelings to himself. They felt the other as if they shared a single soul, and for this reason, even the silence between them was loud enough.

Yes, keeping himself away from Naruto was hard, and so was keeping things from him. Looking ahead and knowing Naruto wouldn't be by his side, instead living next to that needy woman of his and within the walls of that hypocritical village he so loved, was painful.

But being given hope was worse. Naruto didn't have to ask for Sasuke's love, nor for his presence when necessary - those were things Sasuke would give without hesitation, over and over again, in his own way and terms.

However, wanting them to live as lovers apart from each other was something that left Sasuke conflicted because he knew what it felt like to have Naruto close and not being able to reach out to him when his whole body screamed for closeness. More than a sexual need, it was an impulse from whitin his very being, a hunger, a search for something he only seemed to find when Naruto was by his side. It wasn't like Sasuke didn't want to be Naruto's lover - he didn't need it - but Naruto was his one and only, the only person in the world who was the embodiment of everything to him.

Naruto's existence was absolute and the single fact that he lived and breathed was sometimes enough for Sasuke to feel happiness.

It wasn't as if he didn't know that he was a terrible man himself, what with all the things he had done and the way he had left things with Sakura and Sarada. He was no-one to act righteous or noble and pretend like him and Naruto being 'together' was the worst thing he'd do from here on.

It was simply that, for Sasuke, it was all a matter of pride and principles. Sasuke may have a wife and a daughter, but he was living life the way he saw fit and hadn't made any promises to anyone. This family he hadn't asked for had been his responsibility, but not something he had desired and everyone involved knew it. He wasn't the one lying to himself and stubbornly moving forward in a path that no longer made sense but that had become too familiar to move away from.

Naruto had chosen this path and now he wanted to make things easier for himself out of self-pity, guilt and regret. His feelings were nothing but selfish all the way.

It felt like Naruto's words and promises were nothing but wishful thinking, as usual. Naruto wanted for them to get together in the end. How long would it take for them to get there; five years, ten, thirty, forty? Would they even live to see the day? Would Naruto even have the same faith in their relationship by then, or would he create such deep roots with his life in Konoha that he'd be left with the fear of losing it all for Sasuke?

'Don't fuck with me, Naruto,' he thought.

Sasuke's less idealistic nature kept his feet firmly on the ground, even if his heart ached with a flicker of hope, small as it may be. That same hope… how he hated its existence.

It was all very tiring. Sasuke wished he could shut down his emotions when it came to Naruto so he could say 'no' and not feel affected by it. He wished it was easier to not want, to not be available, to turn his back and to walk away.

In truth, Sasuke was resentful and fucking pissed. All of this felt like a fucking joke. A part of him wanted to beat his friend to a fucking pulp and ask him who the fuck did he think he was to play with him this way and make demands with that stupid voice and with such fucking convincing determination.

Naruto wanted them to be what they were supposed to be together? Lovers in the shadows, as if it was the most normal thing ever, behind both their (knowing) wives' backs, not denying themselves of anything until the day they supposedly would be finally together. Wasn't it just fucking perfect? It was laughable. All of it was just beyond absurd.

What exactly would they become if they managed to be together? What was even 'together' in Naruto's dictionary? What was he planning to do, where did he plan to go, what was he going to tell the people whose opinions he valued so much? What about their children? Was Naruto really going to throw away his perfect marriage, his perfect family, his perfect friends - everything he had fought so hard for - for Sasuke at some point? What about his Hokage position? Because Sasuke was sure he would get there, sooner or later.

Naruto did keep his promises but Sasuke was sure Naruto was talking way over his head because he felt lonely and his sex life was probably boring. Even if Naruto made so many claims that he loved him more than anything and that nothing made sense without him, the truth was that he hadn't chosen Sasuke to begin with. Regardless of how much Sasuke cherished him, this was something he'll never forget. He'll never forgive Naruto for making them go through this. He hated that Naruto was in pain, but on the other hand, he couldn't help but think that it suit him well.

And now he had made demands, pleaded for Sasuke to not abandon him and for them remain lovers or whatever it was that they once had been, until they finally got together for good.

All of it were lies - Naruto's hypocrisy slapping him in the face once more. Sasuke liked to believe that he was smarter and prouder than that. He should just simply refuse instead of taking it with a grain of salt.

But when he looked into Naruto's sky-blue eyes that stared back at his with nothing but honesty and breath-taking longing, completely and hopelessly wishing for him, it was as if Sasuke's anger and bad thoughts were replaced by exasperation, resignation and hopeless want.

Why couldn't he just say 'no'?

Because, in spite of Naruto's frustrating personality and even more frustrating decisions, Sasuke knew that Naruto truly loved him with an irrational passion he didn't know how to handle. In fact, Sasuke knew Naruto loved him unconditionally, wholeheartedly, and in ways he'd ever be able to love anyone else.

This affected Sasuke, of course, and yet he knew it shouldn't be an excuse to allow the blond to have his way.

Well, at least Sasuke knew himself well enough to know that he wouldn't be emotionally available for Naruto at all times. His desire was strong, but Sasuke's temper and his ego could overcome that easily, if needed. Even now, regardless of how much he longed for Naruto's touch, something inside of him stubbornly refused to give into that extreme indulgence because he was still angry at him.

Naruto knew Sasuke held the reigns in that situation. He would have to make sure Naruto wouldn't forget. That was the only way he could possibly accept this mess they were in.

000

The rest of the morning was spent getting things ready for a picnic. Naruto was oddly content as he and Sasuke cooked rice together, cut and peeled vegetables and brewed some more tea to put inside canteens. By lunch time, already carrying the food and necessities they'd need inside Naruto's large backpack, both men went to pick Katsuo up. They found the boy outside at the back of the old lady's house, sitting on the dusty ground with a half-finished basket between his crossed legs, and even if his expression was impassive, there was a small crease between his eyebrows that allowed Sasuke to know he was miserable. However, his awkward expression actually twisted in a smile when he saw Sasuke - it was clear that he was more than happy to leave the mountain of baskets that surrounded him.

He didn't seem mad at Sasuke for putting him through that hell, though. In fact, his eyes became huge with what Sasuke knew to be excitement as soon as he heard they were going to have a picnic.

He and Naruto wasted far too much time politely declining Ritsuko-san's invitation to have some tea but, eventually, she gave up on that but they were forced to accept the loaf of spiced bread she insisted they take with them before finally getting on their way.

These were the sort of things Sasuke loved so dearly about this small village and their people– no one was left out, and everyone was treated as family once they were deemed worthy.

On a different occasion, Sasuke would've definitely spent some time with the tiny, curvy old lady and probably even help her out with anything she needed, but today it was all about him, Naruto and Katsuo.

Sasuke knew of a small and quiet lake at the top of a hill that was secluded enough and perfect for a few hours of relaxation. He had already taken Katsuo there once, but at the time, the child had been very weak so Sasuke had had to carry him all the way up there. Now, though, his son was contentedly climbing the hill by his own foot (even though it was clear it still took a lot of physical effort from his part), holding on to the hem of Naruto's sweater for support. Sasuke was leading the way a few steps ahead of them, and would often look over his shoulder to check up on the two, only to find Naruto happily talking to Katsuo and offering him encouraging words. They even held hands at a certain point.

The sun was very warm by the time they got there. However, the tree foliage around the lake cast enough shadows to protect them from the heat, so they chose a nice spot on the ground under a tree where they could spread out a towel for lunch.

It was when Sasuke told Katsuo to undress so he could wash up in the lake and change clothes that he noticed the boy's tiny hands were filled with small cuts and bubbles from working the baskets. Katsuo didn't speak, didn't know how to express things properly so, of course, he kept the pain to himself. He often tended to do that whenever he got a bruise, and Sasuke never knew if it was because he didn't want to trouble him or because he didn't understand that he was supposed to complain in some way whenever he was hurting.

With a frustrated sigh, Sasuke had to sit down on the towel with his back to the tree trunk, pulling the boy down along with him so Katsuo was sitting between his legs, facing away from him. Sasuke grabbed for one of his hands and examined the extent of the damage, relieved when it didn't seem like it was serious.

"No swimming for you, for now," Sasuke said to him, with his hand rummaging through his pouch for the small first aid items he always carried with him. Katsuo looked over his shoulder, the way his eyebrows rose slightly and his lips parted letting Sasuke know his indignance. "We need to treat you. You should've shown it to me, Katsu. You have to tell me when you're injured or something hurts, you understand?"

The child flinched a bit but nodded once, almost timidly.

Naruto crouched down in front of them, looking at Katsuo questioningly. "What's wrong?"

"His hands are a mess," Sasuke explained, after which Naruto grabbed for Katsuo's thin wrists so he, too, could examine his palms.

"Yeah, there are splinters, too," the blond confirmed. He looked at Sasuke. "You got some ointment or something?"

"Yes."

"Let me just fetch some water and I'll remove the splinters since it has to be hard for you to do it single handedly."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed at Naruto as the other man extended his hand to reach for his backpack nearby. "I can do it myself, you know?"

"I'm not saying you can't, Sasuke," Naruto said, rolling his eyes. "I just want to help."

Sasuke inhaled sharply to get rid of this small bit of stupid irritation. "Fine," he said, before taking out of his pouch the flask he'd been looking for, as well as a small roll of clean bandages.

From his backpack, Naruto took out a large canteen he had previously filled with clean water. Kneeling down in front Katsuo and Sasuke as he uncapped it, he gently grabbed for both of the child's hands in his considerable bigger ones and carefully poured water on them, careful to not wet the towel. Katsuo rubbed his palms together to wash them, flinching a bit from pain in the process. In a way, Sasuke was glad to see him reacting to things so honestly.

Still, something inside of Sasuke made him feel guilty at seeing it and for a moment, he wondered if the punishment had been too harsh. Katsuo was a fragile child, and Sasuke wanted him to become stronger no matter what, but he was still a boy who was far behind other children his age.

Nevertheless, Katsuo was a tough one, and Sasuke often wondered if this came from his own desperate will to live and reach all the other kids his age. Sasuke suspected his son also acted strong more often than not to impress him, but while this was a good sign, it was also painful to watch because children should just be children. It was true that Katsuo was still learning how to express himself and associate emotions with physical responses, but this only frustrated Sasuke further because he constantly wondered what he was doing wrong.

With a sigh, he placed the flask and bandages over the towel within Naruto's reach before putting his arm around Katsuo's tiny waist and resting his chin at the top of his head. The child, as usual, was hauntingly quiet.

"It's not that bad. I think I'll be able to remove all the splinters with my fingers," Naruto informed, flashing Katsuo with a smile. "It won't hurt, so don't worry, buddy."

Katsuo sighed and leaned his back further against Sasuke's chest as if seeking some comfort. Sasuke wondered what he was thinking – he always did. Sometimes he wished he could read him, but while Katsuo could be an open book to him already in some things, once in a while, he was very difficult to interpret. Right now, Sasuke had no idea if he was feeling sceptical about Naruto treating him or not, but then again, if the child didn't want it, Sasuke suspected he would've refused it already – Katsuo could be very obvious when he wanted to, just like it had happened the previous night, when he'd so stubbornly interrupted him and Naruto and shamelessly laid down between them. Sasuke supposed his bluntness was part of being a child, and yet, he sort of hoped that it was simply Katsuo trying to take after him as much as possible.

Granted, he and Naruto shouldn't have been doing that kind of thing, anyway. Sasuke still couldn't believe how easily he had allowed himself to get carried away, but he had missed Naruto, so fighting it hadn't exactly crossed his mind – he could indulge himself, too. It didn't always have to be about what Naruto wanted exclusively.

Sasuke placed a small kiss at the top of Katsuo's head as Naruto patiently and gently removed the splinters with the tips of the fingernails of index finger and thumb while happily talking his mouth off. Sasuke couldn't help but wonder if, like himself, Katsuo thought Naruto talked too much.

Once he had removed all of the splinters in Katsuo's hands, Naruto cleaned them with a bit more water before rubbing some of Sasuke's ointment gently on the child's palms with his rough, but tender thumbs. Sasuke was actually impressed with his patience and proficiency – but then again, he was already a father himself. For a fleeting moment, Sasuke's mind visualized Naruto holding his own kid in his arms – from the man's description, a tiny version of himself with big blue eyes and golden locks. He wondered if Naruto made faces while changing diapers and if he used cooing tones of voice as he played with him. He certainly didn't sound condescending with Katsuo but, well, the boy was not exactly a baby.

Then, for some unfathomable reason, Sasuke imagined what Naruto's face must've looked like as he held Sarada in his arms. Naruto must've looked… emotional, overwhelmed; maybe his eyes had watered, too. Maybe he had smiled. Had Naruto kissed Sarada's head? Had he nuzzled her belly with his nose?

Swallowing down the unpleasant feeling he had in his throat, Sasuke's arm hugged Katsuo closer as Naruto was now bandaging his hands.

Sasuke didn't like to think about Sarada, and it wasn't as if he hated her or her existence. It was just that she was… inconvenient. He had held her, fed her and changed her once or twice shortly after she was born, but he hadn't been around much while she was growing and becoming strong enough for the journey back to Konoha to be safe.

There had been a feeling of exhilaration when he had met his biological daughter, he'd admit to that. She was his, even if not desired, and both an Uchiha and an Uzumaki. A part of Sasuke felt like this was relevant, and he could even say that it brought him a bit of happiness. He could even say that he was glad that she had taken after him and not being so obviously Karin.

But Sarada was also an existence who had forced him to do something against his desires and a presence imposed on him that he had never wished for, so while he did feel love for her, another side of him – a cruel one – resented her. Because of her, he was in an uncomfortable situation with Konoha and Sakura.

He could understand Naruto's feelings, though. When he had seen Sarada, he had realized that it didn't matter who the mother was – it could've been just about anyone. Just thinking about the sight of her and Naruto's kid side by side – two copies of their fathers – he felt such a strong wave of regret that he couldn't explain.

They could've been their own.

Naruto had put it out there and yet, Sasuke had tried to think nothing of it.

Regret and sadness was what Sasuke felt while thinking about it. While one side of his heart was glad that Naruto had a family and understood the importance of it. The other side just hated the fact that said family had been given to him by someone else, which ended up being a contradiction since Sasuke had never really had any interest in 'having kids' nor having the sort of life that villages considered 'socially acceptable'.

"Nee, Katsu-chan," Naruto was saying jovially, flashing Katsuo one his biggest and most charming smiles. "Do you like me?"

Sasuke bit down on his lower lip, looking away. He couldn't stand how infuriatingly warm that smile was.

How could he not think about it? There was Katsuo, a child he and Naruto could've both adopted, had they been together. Like Katsuo, other children could've followed maybe not as their children, but as children they could've helped in finding homes. Maybe they could've found a way to have their own biological kids by finding a surrogate mother or simply talking to Orochimaru – surely the guy had a considerable amount of options at their disposal.

But wasn't it useless at this point? It wasn't like there was anything to be done now.

And to think that Sasuke hadn't even entertained the notion of a family for so long.

Katsuo seemed to take a while to answer, watching Naruto attentively. Then, slowly, he nodded. In spite of himself, Sasuke held his breath.

It shouldn't feel like such a relief, yet it was. Sasuke's eyes travelled to Naruto's features silently.

Naruto's grin was so luminous Sasuke actually felt Katsuo's heartbeat speed up a little. Sasuke's own heart seemed to imitate the pace.

Fighting Naruto's natural charm was exhausting, Sasuke thought, pursing his lips together. He should already know better than to go through the trouble, but at the same time, if he didn't, he knew he'd just be a pawn in Naruto's capable hands, and he refused to be. Not the way things were at this point.

"Ah, I really like you, too!" Naruto said genuinely, as he finished tying up the bandages around Katsuo's hands. He reached out and ruffled the top of the child's head. "All done! You okay there? Does anything hurt?"

Katsuo shook his head.

"Let's just let that heal for a bit, and later you can go take a swim, okay?" Sasuke said gently, in Katsuo's ear. "We should have lunch first. Are you hungry?"

Katsuo looked over his shoulder at Sasuke and nodded emphatically, to which the man smiled.

Naruto watched the interaction with open fascination. Sasuke felt those big eyes on Katsuo, then on him, with an intensity that was far too intimate to be casual.

"You look so handsome when you smile like that," Naruto complimented cheekily, flashing Sasuke a big grin and yet, his voice had suddenly weakened ever so slightly. Sasuke saw Naruto's goofy expression, but underneath the blond man's skin, those veins pulsed with emotion and a desire that was far too obvious – at least to Sasuke himself.

It was becoming increasingly evident that the time they had spent away from each other was taking its toll, and it pissed Sasuke off that Naruto's mood affected him, as well.

It was impossible to avoid when they could feel each other so accurately whenever they were within each other's reach.

They exchanged a look. In turn, Sasuke's smile disappeared completely as he frowned and Naruto's cheeks reddened briefly – being caught barehanded – before he faked a pout to keep up appearances. "See, why do you do that? I was enjoying the sight and giving you a compliment; why do you have to revert to moody bastard mode again?"

With a sigh, Sasuke rolled his eyes. Katsuo turned his head to look at both of them, his clear eyebrows quirked up slightly in confusion. 'Good' Sasuke thought. The child was still too young to perceive certain things, and it was bad enough that he had already seen Sasuke and Naruto being so thoroughly improper the night before.

Together, the three of them got things ready for lunch, and even with his hands in bandages, Katsuo was eager to help as much as he could. Sasuke felt a sense of pride when the boy refused to be fed, instead wanting to do things by himself, even if it took some effort.

Lunch felt like a long event, probably because they were taking their time eating, or maybe it was because Naruto still couldn't keep his mouth shut. They shared the food they had put on display over the towel with Katsuo sitting on his heels between Sasuke and Naruto. Naruto was overly excited, telling Katsuo about their gennin times in team 7 like it was the greatest time of his life, but spoke of things and terms the child had no idea about, so Sasuke had to interrupt him to explain things properly, which only excited Naruto further, since he always had something to add.

It was a little baffling how genuinely happy Naruto was – Sasuke could easily feel the warmth emanating from him, his emotions strong and pure. They were only having lunch, the three of them, and it was not really a big deal.

And yet, for Naruto it was. Naruto was spending time with Sasuke after so much time apart, and eagerly bonding with the child Sasuke had willingly adopted and called 'son'. They were together. Naruto and Sasuke had reached some kind of fucked up truce after all the pain they had willingly and unwillingly inflicted upon each other.

The cycle never ended. Sasuke was still exasperated and upset beyond himself, but…

He could feel Naruto's happiness, too. After all, he had missed the man just as much, and had fantasised about this very moment several times.

It pissed him off immensely, though.

It was all very conflicting, yet peaceful. As Naruto had said, they should just… accept things as they were, the good and the bad, and simply stop fighting against it or delving too much into it.

Sasuke wouldn't admit it out loud, but there was no doubt that he loved seeing Naruto interact with Katsuo like this – Naruto knew, anyway.

There was something very intense about the way Katsuo's big white eyes watched Naruto, though, and Sasuke was having a hard time identifying what was causing it. There wasn't exactly tension in Katsuo when it came to Naruto, but the way he watched him reminded Sasuke of the way the boy watched Sasuke himself only it was probably more... evaluating?

"Your dad was like, super cool, but he had the wooooorst temper!" Naruto blabbered, through a mouthful of bread. "Like, you couldn't even call out to him, he'd go like 'what?' in that arrogant assed tone of his! But he was making fun of me and calling me a dumbass, but when he had to kick the bad guys asses we'd totally get in sync and fight together and it was so cool! Like that one time when…"

Naruto talked and talked, and through it all, Katsuo would nibble on his food slowly, listening very carefully to the tales Naruto told about himself and Sasuke. He was retaining information like a sponge.

The fact that Sasuke wasn't able to put his finger on that odd vibe made him feel queasy. Sometimes, Sasuke felt that Katsuo was a lot smarter then he let appear, and the fact that he didn't speak made it harder to perceive. Katsuo, even having spent most of his life locked in Orochimaru's lab, was adapting to the outside world too quickly and getting the hang of things at an impressive speed, even if his own body couldn't keep up with his mind. Sasuke knew this, and yet, he wondered how much Katsuo had learned apart from what Sasuke and the people around him had taught him. Once more, Sasuke wondered what was going through Katsuo's head.

What was he thinking about when his eyes so unblinkingly stared at Naruto like that? Was it admiration, fascination or just suspicion? Did he still see Naruto as some sort of threat even if he had admitted to liking him?

Even without saying a word, Katsuo had never once lied and every action on his part had always been one hundred percent genuine.

However, all of his mental effort must've taken a toll on him because it only took a few minutes after he had eaten for Katsuo to completely black out with his back against the tree trunk. Endeared and amused, Sasuke guessed the boy must've been tired already.

As quietly as they could, he and Naruto cleaned up everything before Naruto carefully moved Katsuo so he was laying down on his side on the towel. The man offered the child's cheek a gentle caress with the back of his knuckles. Sasuke's heart felt like it was going to jump right out of his chest at the sight. It made him want to both punch Naruto in the face and do things they definitely should not do at this time and place.

That wasn't Naruto's child, and neither would Naruto be part of Katsuo's life, so it was rather irrelevant whether they liked each other or not. Still, for Sasuke, it made him feel relieved in a way but also restless.

"I got us something," Naruto said in a whisper with a mysterious smirk while rummaging through his backpack. Eventually, he triumphantly took out a small clay bottle and showed it to Sasuke, shaking it slightly. "It was given to me as a gift by one of the villagers yesterday."

By Naruto's childish enthusiasm, Sasuke guessed that it had to be some sort of alcoholic beverage, so he merely nodded in agreement. Smiling widely, Naruto also managed to take out of his backpack two tiny clay cups – clearly, he had planned this somehow. It was almost endearing, if not a bit corny, but Sasuke found that there was no harm in indulging him when they did have time to kill.

Silently, the two men made their way towards the edge of the lake, so they could talk without waking Katsuo up.

The gentle breeze was fresh, but the sun was scorching hot and, by the lake, there wasn't exactly a shadow they could sit under, so Sasuke simply sat on his heels at a convenient spot where he could still keep an eye on Katsuo's sleeping figure. Naruto heavily sat down by his right and wasted no time in uncorking the bottle and passing Sasuke one of the tiny cups. Sasuke extended it to him, and he poured him a generous amount of the clear brownish beverage before helping himself, as well. In an unspoken agreement, the two clicked the cups together before downing the liquor in one go. It was sweet but not too strong, with a woody flavour to it. Sasuke didn't refuse it when Naruto poured him some more. It wasn't like he was used to drinking, but he supposed it wouldn't hurt to share a few drinks with his best friend since he knew when to draw the line.

Naruto sipped the second cup with as much gusto before licking at his lips contently. "Ah, I think the last time we drank together was… when was it? Was it here, or with Taka?" he asked, thoughtfully.

"I think it was with Taka, during one of the last nights we spent there," Sasuke said, remembering it quite vividly. "You drank too much and ended up being a horny mess. Luckily, you fell asleep before you embarrassed yourself in front of them."

Naruto's cheeks flared up, but he chuckled embarrassingly. "I don't remember that," he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Of course, you don't," Sasuke replied, dryly. "How could I forget, though? You tried to take my clothes off and Suigetsu and Karin ended up teasing me for the rest of the night."

"Ah, did I really?" Naruto muttered, looking away from him. He was blushing so hard the redness went all the way down to his neck, and Sasuke couldn't help but find it humorous.

"Take your sweater off if you're feeling hot," Sasuke suggested, and he knew his tone was more teasing than anything else but he couldn't help it when Naruto was so damn obvious like this. "You always get horny when you drink. Maybe bringing liquor wasn't such a good idea after all."

"Oh, shut up," Naruto mumbled with a pout. He set the small bottle aside on the grass and with it, his cup. Without another word, he did as he was told and tugged his sweater over his head, throwing it carelessly to the side before fanning himself with his hand. Shamelessly, Sasuke's eyes were drawn to the expanse of exposed skin.

Naruto's body had further matured in the time they had been apart, and he was certainly bulkier now than he had been back then, but still unbelievably fit, hard muscles flexing beautifully under golden skin with every movement. Naruto's right arm though, was still obviously darker than the rest of his body.

Helplessly, Sasuke found a far too familiar heat pool at his loins, simmering with want. It wasn't so much the image of Naruto's body – it was the recollection of what that same body could do. Naruto's body was resilient and hard – a body ready for combat, and the only body who had been able to endure the overwhelming strength of Sasuke's power and feelings. That was the only body Sasuke knew that was capable of taking everything he had, no matter if it was gentleness or aggression. That was the only body that would always take it all without faltering, always eagerly, always willingly.

It irked Sasuke to think about the things he wanted to do to that body. He wanted to shower it with affection on one hand, but on the other, he had the dark urge to fuck it until he ripped it apart.

And…

He wanted to fight against it. Not spar against it, no – he wanted Naruto's own power exposed to the maximum, ready to take Sasuke on without restraint.

Their battle at the Valley of the End had been painful, both physically and emotionally, but it had, without a doubt, been the most excitingly dangerous battle Sasuke had ever fought. It was because he knew it would be so that he had decided that it would be his last one.

Nothing in the world could ever compare to that.

Remembering how it all had felt was…

A part of his thoughts must have manifested in his chakra, because Naruto's muscles tensed and he took a sharp intake of breath. Slowly, blue eyes turned to meet Sasuke's and they looked awed yet heavy with acknowledgement. Sasuke berated himself for being so obvious.

The way their chakra was bound made them react to each other in an animalistic way, and more often than not, Sasuke could swear that he was sensitive to Naruto's every move and every emotional fluctuation. Sometimes he could almost swear that he could smell Naruto's feelings, from the purest one to the dirtiest and darkest one.

Openly, Sasuke watched Naruto's lips as a pink tongue darted out to moisten them. He twisted his body a bit so it was facing Sasuke's now, one hand supporting his weight on the grass, the other one falling to Sasuke's knee. "Aren't you hot?" Naruto asked slowly and Sasuke thought that the other man was being too confident. Had he learned nothing from their conversation that morning?

But then again, Sasuke had allowed himself to be kissed in spite of everything he had said, so he couldn't exactly blame Naruto for keeping his hopes up.

"No" Sasuke lied, even when his voice had sounded cold yet husky.

"Indulge me, then," Naruto said, and his voice was gentle yet unfamiliarly demanding despite being a little breathless, and it spiked up Sasuke's lust without warning even in his slight surprise and irritation.

Naruto was testing his luck exactly because he felt like he could. Sasuke's walls had crumbled in his longing and there was little he could do about it now that Naruto could see all of it. But, there was still time to retreat, and they both knew it – it was only a matter of whether Sasuke would back away or not.

In the end, Sasuke knew he held the reins. If Naruto thought he could use this tone on him, he was dead wrong.

With cautious, elegant moves that were meant to keep Naruto's guard up, Sasuke too put his cup aside. Blue eyes that were now of a mesmerizing luminescent tonality under the bright sun watched him as he pulled his own shirt off. It was Naruto who took it away from his hand and threw it aside.

Naruto's gaze scanned over his chest hungrily, accessing every little detail as if it somehow fed him. The hand that wasn't on Sasuke's knee reached out – the tips of his rough fingers coming into contact with Sasuke's left pectoral, a light brush before slowly descending to slide over his nipple then down to his abdomen. There was a gentle tremble in his touch that gave away his fascination and his immense restraint. Sasuke found that this sort of touch from Naruto made him feel powerful.

But then again, everything about Naruto did.

It took everything he had to not let his own emotions run wild.

Sasuke knew he could back away if he wanted to – he always could. But Naruto was leaving the next morning and he had already spent too much time being frustrated at him. It had been too fucking long and neither knew how long would it be before they had the chance be close like this. For all Sasuke knew, Naruto might end up pissing him off again and they wouldn't touch each other for years, simply because Sasuke could be that petty.

Naruto had no right to just… shove his feelings and his desire so straight forwardly to Sasuke's face like this, knowing it was impossible for him to not react.

"Look at me," Sasuke said, authoritatively. Naruto's eyes immediately rolled upwards to meet his. Without blinking, Sasuke's hand came up to curl around the back of Naruto's neck, pulling him in gently until their lips were a breath away apart.

Sasuke took a deep, steadying his breath before concentrating the chakra needed to summon his bloodline limit.

Naruto gasped in realization, sharply watching as the Sharingan quickly turned into its Mangekyō shape, but before he could say or do something, Sasuke's mouth was already falling over his in an open-mouthed kiss.

000

In the blink of an eye, Naruto found himself somewhere else entirely. He didn't know exactly where but he was no longer by the lake and neither was he kissing Sasuke any longer. He had felt Sasuke's lips over his and it was but a single moment of euphoria before it had all vanished. He remembered seeing Sasuke's Mangekyō forming earlier

And now, here he was.

What was Sasuke's plan by doing this? It was disappointing – he had been very excited about that kiss, and the quiet intimate moment they had been sharing. From Sasuke's body language, things would have been getting good soon.

A little confusedly, he looked around to find himself in some sort of never ending field that stretched out as far as his eyes could see and beyond. Huge cherry blossom trees in full bloom could be seen, petals floating about carried by the same gentle breeze that also brushed his hair and filled his nose with the nature's perfume. His feet were bare and underneath them, the grass was of a vibrant fresh green like he'd never seen before, warmed by the sun and unexpectedly fluffy with small colorful flowers peeking out from here and there. The sky had never seemed so vast and so blue, and the occasional clouds were of a pure white, resembling the most exquisite cotton.

The setting was like the most perfect natural landscape one could possible imagine. If heaven existed, Naruto supposed it would be something like this.

It wasn't cold but it wasn't hot either. The breeze carried the scents of grass, earth, and the cherry blossom tree flowers and while it was rich, it wasn't overwhelmingly intense. Naruto could hear the sound of birds chirping and running water but there wasn't a lake, river, nor any animals in sight. Everything was stunning and peaceful, like the end of the world - a place too distant and secret to be found and too unique to be reached by any sort of godly wrath.

"Time is almost irrelevant here," a familiar voice said, startling Naruto. "We could be here for months, while outside, only a few minutes have passed. But of course, controlling that sort of time balance between reality versus genjutsu takes a lot of energy from me considering I'm in charge of both of our physical and spiritual well beings. I'd say a couple of hours here should be more than enough."

Naruto noticed that Sasuke was standing in front of him, and yet what he saw made him gulp, his throat suddenly tight. "Is this… a genjutsu, then?" he asked meekly, his eyes avidly travelling over his friend's figure from up and down, his chest suddenly overflowing with shock and emotion. "Is this why you look like… that?"

It was Uchiha Sasuke standing in front of him alright, but not the current adult of their reality, no. In front him stood none other than Sasuke in all his 17-year-old glory, and if Naruto remembered accurately - which he did - this was the same Sasuke that had appeared at the warfield, unexpectedly in other people's eyes, but awaited by Naruto himself all along.

Naruto could remember the feeling of knowing Sasuke was coming to war to fight with them, his final purpose still in the shadows but the fire within him burning to defeat the enemy, beside him, resonating alongside Naruto's clearly. Naruto had never felt more confident and determined as he had back then, because he knew that with Sasuke fighting beside him, there was no way they'd lose.

Seeing that Sasuke now was very nostalgic, exciting and yet… through adult eyes, it was all so very different.

Teenage Sasuke was about a head shorter than Naruto was right now, yet he was still tall and surprisingly fit. He wasn't bulky by no means, still holding himself with that arrogance and pride that now seemed far too mature for his age, but there were no doubts that he'd been a bit wider and more muscular than Naruto back then. His hairdo was the one Naruto recalled so well, all spiky in the back, his fringe still short so both his eyes - still matching dark orbs without the rinnegan - could be seen. Sasuke had had such beautiful, deep piercing eyes, Naruto thought affectionately. And yes, he had been tremendously handsome too, despite the threatening air about him. Naruto couldn't tell if Sasuke was better looking now than he had been then - he was simply different, being an adult and changed as such, so it was impossible to compare.

And… like the Sasuke at the start of war, this one in front of Naruto still had both arms. Naruto felt a sob threaten his chest and tears pricking his eyes but he held his emotions in and clenched his fists at his sides. It wasn't real but it still hurt to be confronted by an image of the past like this, especially when it embodied both Naruto's worst nightmare and most desired dream.

Everything was exactly like it had been back then, from Sasuke's appearance to his outfit. The only thing that was missing was Sasuke's katana strapped to his back.

This younger Sasuke looked at himself and raised both his hands so he could look at them. His eyebrows rose slightly but he didn't seem surprised. "It seems that your desires have had an influence on how I look here," he said, dispassionately, letting his hands fall to his side and looking up at Naruto. "I allowed your mind to choose what you wanted to see and somehow it has chosen an image of a younger me. Why?"

Naruto immediately looked at himself, too. He realized that he was only wearing a pair of Shinobi black trousers and an orange t-shirt; apart from that, he was the same Naruto in his twenty's. He touched his hair with a hand and noticed that it was reasonably longer - the length Sasuke favoured the best, for sure, which was a tiny bit longer than what he had worn as a teenager and the same length he had appreciated while they had been travelling together.

In spite of himself, Naruto was filled with embarrassment. Why, indeed, was he seeing a teenage version of Sasuke? It wasn't a matter of preference - his feelings for Sasuke had always been the same regardless of how he looked.

But, this kind of made him feel like some sort of pervert, especially because he did find Sasuke's younger version of himself rather…. enticing.

There had always been something about Sasuke's darker side that had seduced him helplessly. Sasuke's apparent lack of emotion, that threatening fire of hatred and superiority in his eyes, that cold, closed off expression - they hadn't frightened Naruto for himself, no, but he had feared for Sasuke's sake, and yet, he had felt himself shiver many times, his heart beating wildly and his blood rushing with an unknown type of adrenaline.

Being faced with the memory of those feelings made his chest feel like it was burning. He took a moment to think about it all to keep his emotions in check. Sasuke was watching him like a hawk, attentive and observing.

For a moment, Naruto mused on how real things felt, even if it was a genjutsu.

"I suppose… this was the 'you' I chased more eagerly" Naruto said, hesitantly, trying to find an answer to his own dilemma. "I guess… this was the 'you' that I wanted the most and… at the time, you made me feel so many things, good and bad that I suppose… no, I'm sure that this is the 'you' I felt more deeply about."

"I thought the present 'me' was the one you felt more deeply about," Sasuke said plainly, and even his low voice sounded younger, now that Naruto noticed. "Even now, there are good things and bad things going on between us. Even now, you chase after me and even now, I bring you pain. Nothing's changed."

"It has changed, Sasuke, because now, no matter what, I know I have you," Naruto explained, taking a cautious step towards the other. "And yes, I have been through hell even with things as they are between us; but again, you are mine, and I know I can count on you and that you won't abandon me anymore. But back then, I wanted you so much, and yet I feared you. I knew your heart, but I feared your mind, the strength of your motivations and what they might do to you. You were so powerful and ruthless. You were connected to me and yet, you were so distant it hurt. I didn't know if I could ever reach you and even through my determination, I feared that I couldn't save you and that I'd lose you before I could ever let you know that I was there."

Once Naruto was in front of Sasuke he reached out a hand so he could grab for the other's left one - the one Sasuke had lost. Sasuke's penetrating eyes followed his every move as Naruto brought said hand to his lips so he could place a gentle kiss over the palm.

"I want you right now, but it's simply different from the agony and fear I felt back then. In many ways, yes, I suppose that in my heart, this was the you I hungered for the most, the one I was truly scared to lose" he said, breathing against the calloused skin that felt so real against his lips. How his memory has been able to reproduce this Sasuke in so much detail was a mystery. "For sure, back then, it wasn't sexual, but… when I think about the loneliness I feel without you, now I realize it's nothing when compared to how I felt back then. I was so desperate to reach out to you that I made peace with dying by your side because I was too scared to imagine a world without you. Just thinking about it…"

"I understand" Sasuke interrupted, his voice giving nothing away as his hand cupped Naruto's cheek - an intimate gesture but not carrying any sort of sentimentalism to it. "This is the me you fought with almost to death; the one who tried to kill you. Also, the me you saved. I should've known this image would've had such a long lasting impact on you."

"One would think it would be the same for you?" Naruto said, his tone as serious as Sasuke's, grabbing for the other's wrist and looking down at the teenager in front of him. It was so odd to stand with such a young version of his best friend and yet, feeling so devastatingly in surrender of him.

Even like this, Sasuke's figure and the sheer force of his very existence was devastating.

"Although your importance was in no way inferior back then, the truth is I spent many years too focused on myself, my pain and my goals," Sasuke explained, in return. Firmly but not aggressively, he pulled his wrist free from Naruto's grasp and looked up at him since his younger self was considerably shorter. "I knew you were moving forward, finding your own strength, making friends and being happy so I didn't worry about you the same way you did about me." Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "The you right now is the one that is constantly on my mind. Back then, I didn't think I needed anyone nor anything other than my revenge and reaching my goals. Right now, even though I don't technically need you or the things you want me to have, my heart is open to other sorts of selfish and selfless feelings."

Naruto bit down on his lower lip, feeling a little out of breath all of a sudden. There was nothing on Sasuke's face that gave away his feelings or thoughts, but his eyes were bright and oddly cold, one could say curious, but not with a good type of curiosity. There was no anger coming from his friend and yet, something about him made Naruto feel very exposed and self-conscious in a very intimidating way. Sasuke looked positively feral in his perfectly controlled stance.

"You always speak about love, but that is just a word to label feelings we have no description for. I know what love is, and I don't think it fits the whole that is us. When you look at me..." Sasuke said, his voice lowering to a low, slow and venomous whisper. "What is it that you see?"

Sasuke's eyes were savage and unblinking, challenging - Naruto was sure that type of unreadable look had made many people shit their pants. To him, it was a kind of thrill that elated him as much as it made him sick with something akin to dread, but not of Sasuke. He didn't fear Sasuke – he feared how unpredictable Sasuke was. But this had always been something that had shamelessly excited him as well.

"You don't like labels, yet you're asking me to categorize you?" Naruto asked, in an exhaled breath.

In a heartbeat, Sasuke said "Indulge me."

Naruto's eyes quickly scanned those ferocious features. It wasn't as though he had to think too hard about it, but he still decided to indulge Sasuke's game and choose his words carefully.

His body felt the impulse to reach out and take Sasuke in his arms so he could shut that mouth and that imposing, arrogant tone of voice that made him feel both annoyed and turned on as fuck. His wildest instincts wanted to fight back and push Sasuke's buttons. He knew he couldn't if he didn't want to throw away what he had managed to accomplish by being with Sasuke on this very day. Somehow, he understood that they were walking on thin ice right now, which was surprising since Naruto had thought that things had been going well between them. He couldn't understand what the other's game was but it was on.

Summoning every ounce of self-control he had, he forced his body to stand still even if the way Sasuke was in his space did nothing to help.

"I see past, present and future. I see a powerful and highly intelligent man like no other, capable of as much kindness as he is of violence," he started, making sure his voice was steady even though his heart was beating painfully inside his chest. "I see someone who knows exactly what love and hatred are, and yet despises both. I see a wounded man desperately trying to heal himself by learning how to love himself and the world he lives in because… if he doesn't, he's afraid he might become numb and not be able to forgive himself for the things he blames himself for."

Naruto paused, but Sasuke's expression didn't change, neither did he move a single muscle. Naruto clenched his firsts and swallowed hard before proceeding. "I see… someone too radiant. You are confusing and you're dangerous, even when you're being kind. I see someone I'm famished for. I see… someone immortal in my eyes, someone beyond comparison. You don't scare me yet I always tremble when I'm with you because I feel like you're capable of forcing me out of my own skin. I want to belong to you just as much as I want to own you but I don't like the feeling of wanting to be drowned and swallowed whole by you."

Sasuke actually released a bemused, dark chuckle.

"I'm dangerous but you are captivated by that part of me." Sasuke licked at his lips, the action so slow and oddly sensual it made Naruto's head feel fuzzy. "You know what kind of darkness I am capable of and still, you seek it. You seek my darkness as much as you seek the light I bring to your lonely existence. That's why you want so desperately to be my lover and suffer through the cyclic process of belonging to me and then mourning the loss of what we are. Even though you know you'll have it again, you know parting will always kill you a little bit every single time." A small, ironic smirk curved the corner of Sasuke's mouth for a second. "You are a masochist, Naruto."

Sasuke's voice sounded like liquid honey seasoned with poison and Naruto's mouth watered. Why did Sasuke have to sound so damn erotic? He definitely wasn't used to this kind of tension anymore – it was intoxicating.

It was amazing how his body felt real, a very intense rush of lust washing over him suddenly. "Maybe," Naruto whispered. "After all, I really did enjoy fighting you to death."

It was a truth Naruto hadn't considered before voicing it like this, but a truth nonetheless. He couldn't remember a time when he had felt so alive as he had when he was fighting Sasuke, feeling his desperation, his passion, and his anger, sharing blows and drawing blood - a dance of longing and physical and emotional pain like no other.

It tore at Naruto's heartstrings and filled him with passion and sorrow but desire, too. He was still pretty much yearning for the day when he and Sasuke would fight again, as equals.

Finally, Sasuke took a sharp intake of breath, his eyes gaining a dark, lustful hue to them. "I think we can definitely work with that," he said.

Then, with a calculated gesture, Sasuke lifted his hand up towards Naruto, who was completely caught off guard as a powerful invisible force shoved his body about a meter backwards, making him stumble helplessly, barely avoiding falling on his ass. His shinobi senses quickly activated in the face of an apparent threat, so it was with little effort that he regained his footing and straightened his spine. However, before he could even think about shifting to a defensive stance, he felt something cold and heavy close tightly around both his wrists. It took him but a second to recognize the thick, black handcuffs, but as soon as his mind registered it, he felt a violent tug on his wrists, forcing his arms up and over his head.

His chest exploded with adrenaline as he found himself restrained. With a groan, he thrashed a bit as he looked up to see that there were heavy chains attached to his handcuffs and that said chains seemed to have descended from the sky itself, long and unbreakable, the other end impossible to see, lost in the vastness of the blue above. It was quite the strange sight.

Naruto noticed that his feet weren't chained but it didn't make a difference. His hands struggled with the cuffs. The chains rattled noisily in his effort and even the iron against his skin made all sorts of alarms flare up in his mind.

"Sasuke!" he yelled, looking down to see that the teenage version of his best friend was still standing in front of him. There wasn't a trace of smugness in his features, but the feral gleam in his eyes seemed to have acquired a new facet. "What the fuck! I thought we were having a moment!"

"We are" Sasuke said smoothly. "But I didn't exactly put you under a Genjutsu so we could have an emotional heart to heart."

"Huh?"

A dirty smirk appeared on Sasuke's perfect lips and he raised his hand againand with a swift wave, made a gush of freezing wind hit Naruto's body with full force, causing him to clench his teeth, the cutting cold forcing him to close his eyes.

The wind stopped as fast as it had started, though.

"Nice." Sasuke's smug voice prompted Naruto to open his eyes again only to find Sasuke's eyeing him from up and down avidly. That's when Naruto looked down at himself to notice that he was completely and utterly naked. He could feel the warmth of the sun now and the gentle, perfumed breeze caressing his exposed skin.

What the…

Naruto was torn between shock, anger and embarrassment and yes, it was ridiculous that he was still oddly turned on by this sort of expression of dominance. This was unlike anything he had ever experienced and it made all his nerves stand on edge. "What the hell, Sasuke?!" he exclaimed, struggling against the chains, but it was useless. "Let me go right now!"

Impassively, Sasuke watched him as he tried to flex his arms so his hands could perform a seal but as soon as he managed it, nothing happened.

"You seem to forget that this is my genjutsu," Sasuke said casually. "I'm inside your brain, Naruto. I'm the only one who dictates what happens and what you are allowed to do. I'm letting you do what you want by choice but I can control you in here. I can even control what you feel and how you feel it."

There was something about Sasuke's words that immediately made Naruto stop thrashing. His eyes widened a bit. "Control me?" he asked, feeling his chest tight with something that wasn't exactly fear but rather anticipation. "How so?"

The corner of Sasuke's mouth quirked upwards, and it was as elegant as it was nasty. In spite of himself, Naruto swallowed hard. Every instinct he possessed was on instant alert as Sasuke came closer once more and it didn't really matter if the guy in front of him was shorter at this moment – Sasuke's presence both made him want to press forward against him or recoil completely. It was that intense. Unfortunately for Naruto, Sasuke's aura was strong enough to make him almost forget that he was upset for being put in chains while completely naked.

"Well..." Sasuke said, looking down at Naruto's evident half hard erection. They were close enough that Naruto could feel the inviting heat of Sasuke's body and smell the familiar scent of his hair but not enough to touch unless one of them willingly moved. "You will never break those chains, not with chakra, and not even with your own will power unless I allow it. It takes less than a second here for me to either put you through a year's worth of pain or force you to have three orgasms in a row without me lifting a single finger." When Sasuke's intense eyes met with Naruto's surprised ones, Naruto held his breath. "Although, that wouldn't be much fun, would it?"

Naruto wanted to be offended but it was difficult when the implications of Sasuke's words were this captivating. In spite of himself, he felt heat flood him helplessly.

Their mouths were too close for comfort and Naruto was reminded of the kiss they had been sharing before the genjutsu had started. He wondered what it would feel like to kiss this younger version of Sasuke, who so daringly remained still, torturing him, defying him.

"What are you planning, Sasuke?" Naruto questioned, feeling his breath quicken.

Sasuke's lips parted slowly and it was a bewitching sight. "I thought you said you wanted me," he said, suggestively.

"I do," Naruto admitted in a whisper. "But I told you I wasn't thinking about…"

"Tell me," Sasuke interrupted, placing his left hand over Naruto's heart to feel the erratic pumping. "How much did you miss me, exactly? Enough to fuck your wife whenever your longing for me became unbearable?"

Naruto's breath caught at the intimate, warm touch but his eyebrows furrowed. He looked into Sasuke's mocking eyes, trying to read what was in them. It sounded like he was being insulted or made fun of but at the same time, something about Sasuke's expression made it feel like he was simply being a tease. Sasuke was testing him, turning the tables around fast and ruthlessly in a way that only he was capable of, changing the atmosphere between them completely.

Sasuke wanted to rile him up, Naruto noticed. He wanted to impose his dominance and show Naruto exactly who was in charge. Naruto understood it now and it was something that frustrated him to no end but that he could understand and respect. It wasn't supposed to be that way between them and he had hoped Sasuke would understand it and take things a little less aggressively.

"Your way or no way, huh?" Naruto thought

And oddly enough, Naruto found that he didn't give a fuck – the challenge only fuelled his desire further as his cock reached full hardness, brushing against the fabric around Sasuke's waist. "Yeah" he said truthfully, his voice firm and equally challenging.

Sasuke smirked. "Did you fuck her up the ass, too?"

There Sasuke was, being crude on purpose to upset him. Naruto smirked back. "No, that's exclusive for you," he said in a suggestive mutter. "I do finger myself when I miss you inside me, if that's what you're wondering about."

From Sasuke's reaction, Naruto had finally managed to shake him.

Almost imperceptibly, Sasuke inhaled deeply, his dark grey eyes dropping to Naruto's mouth as if it was the most interesting thing in the world, and for Naruto there wasn't really anything quite like Sasuke's raw desire for him.

And despite Sasuke's efforts in showing Naruto just enough of what was going through his head, Naruto could see that he was pining for him.

Naruto bit down on his lower lip, hard. It had been too long since they had played cat and mouse like this, both as friends/rivals and as lovers and it was insane. He had almost forgotten how amazing and exasperating it was. He resisted the immediate urge to thrust forward so his dick was openly and suggestively rubbing against the other. He had actually considered buying himself a dildo roughly the size of Sasuke's cock when he'd been on a mission at some point but he'd be caught dead before he would ever admit that to anyone, let alone Sasuke himself.

It wasn't really a matter of preference, he just never refused his body's desires so he went through the motions as they were.

Right now, he was torn between wanting to ravage Sasuke like a beast or be ravaged instead.

"Naruto..." Sasuke whispered, letting his hand slowly and suggestively trail down Naruto's torso until his fingers were teasingly brushing his groin. "You really do piss me off."

And Naruto knew that whatever would follow would probably throw him to the pits of hell.

TBC…


CLIFFHANGER!

Sorry not sorry. I do have more of this written, but I thought it was the perfect time to cut the chapter because it was getting waaaay big. Also, it will allow me to gauge what you guys reaction to this will be, and depending on that, I might or might not proceed with what I had in mind.

You guys should already know I'm a bit deranged and come up with crazy shit. This being said, whether this smut scene happens or not might be up to you guys. I know I'll probably lose followers with this scene alone, so I want to thread this carefully.

Anyway, as I said, in the first author's notes, I won't be writing for this for the time being, at least until 'It's Not Fair' is finished. I wasn't going to touch this fic until then, but I had a good part written so I thought it would be nice to indulge myself and make you guys happy with an update as well since it had been far too long since I had last updated and you guys were always so supportive and amazing you deserved an update 3

Not sure if the update was what you had expected or not, or even if you guys enjoyed it, but let's just say I'm pleased with it and needed everything I wrote to get back on track.

Next chapter will be the last one before Sasuke and Naruto part ways again, and it might have a few surprises in store for you. It will be rather intense, regardless of how things go with the Genjutsu, so look forward to it!

Thank you all for being so patient and support towards this fic! I cannot tell you how much I appreciate and am grateful to every single one of you.

See ya next time, and don't forget to comment, your input if highly valued and appreciated!

Love,

Debbie