This chapter is huge, and I'm sorry in advance if it's boring, but it was a necessary evil.

I want to thank everyone for supporting this story, and thank you for giving Kamui a chance! The fact that he was so well received makes me super happy!

Also, I couldn't reply to comments yet, but I will as soon as possible. Sometimes, it's either that or updating the story, and I think we all know what the readers prefer ;) However, I have read all of your comments and deeply appreciate them!

Not proofread.

I hope you like this chapter! Here's to 20 years of Naruto!


From Which We'll Rise

Part XXX: Endō Kamui III

Staying with Kamui and his family did not differ from the times he'd been staying at Misato's. The house was not big enough, and while Oi slept with the youngest ones in one room, Yui slept with the rest of them in another while Kamui slept alone in the kitchen. Of course, Sasuke was stuck keeping him company.

Regardless, everything was clean and organized, and they even had a shower at the back of the house that he hadn't noticed before. It was unfortunate that it had no privacy and that the running water was cold, but this wasn't exactly an issue for Sasuke, who was already more than used to worse conditions.

It still made him feel sorry for the kids.

They were all healthy, and while their clothes were worn out, they were clean. The children also seemed to be happy despite everything, capable of playing and laughing freely, and most of them even knew how to read (taught by Oi and Yui). The older ones also knew a few self-defense tactics, and the kids had toys, books, and games.

Sasuke enjoyed spending time with the children despite how loud and curious they were.

The routines were simple, yet familiar, and Oi was pleased by how easily Sasuke caught up with their daily tasks on day one and promptly helped with everything needed – from cleaning, cooking, and fixing stuff around the house to taking care of the kids and so on, this was something he knew by heart.

The first night sleeping with Kamui was a shock to Sasuke, though. Kamui enjoyed sleeping naked, and always did so. Not in his underwear, but completely in the nude, and Sasuke had not been pleased when night came and the man had started casually stripping in front of him after the kids were already in bed.

Sasuke had felt more than a little affronted at the audacity, and again, his brain short-circuited because Kamui was an educated man with good manners, yet he had this kind of attitude. Not that Sasuke cared, either way (Shinobi couldn't have these types of issues) but people shouldn't normally be so comfortable getting naked in front of others.

They had spent half an hour bantering while Sasuke asked him to at least be mindful of the children, but Kamui didn't budge, highly amused by the younger man's irritation.

This kind of thing rarely upset him, but there were children in the house, and it hurt Sasuke's pride that he had to force himself to avert his gaze from the man's body.

He didn't want to look, but he had , and it sucked that the view had made him want to look again, but he was stubborn enough to at least try to ignore it.

So, even if they weren't sharing the same mattress and Kamui covered himself up in his sleep, Sasuke ended up sleeping close enough to a naked man — one he was acutely aware of.

That same man fell asleep in a heartbeat and was out like a rock. In fact, Kamui slept so soundly that he looked dead. Sasuke had woken up in the middle of the night to go outside and relieve himself and the man hadn't changed positions, so he had cautiously leaned over him and touched his face to make sure it was warm and that he was breathing.

Even if Sasuke had made a scandal about the man's sleeping habits Kamui did go to sleep before the kids, and woke before them, too.

The first couple of days were spent mostly in Jōmae considering Kamui still needed to work and finish the errands requested by several parties so he could be free to spend a few days working closely with Sasuke.

This allowed the Uchiha to do a bit of research for himself. While Kamui's story seemed legitimate, if it was true, surely he'd get some information about it from the villagers.

Unfortunately, people weren't very open in Jōmae . When Sasuke asked about what they knew about the Endō clan, some said they didn't know what he was talking about dismissively, which was suspicious enough considering the compound still existed and there was still at least one official member of the clan there. Others merely said that they didn't talk about it, ever.

Despite this suspicious behavior, Sasuke found a few people who acknowledged it, even though, as they said, they hadn't witnessed it for themselves, but that no one from the clan apart from Kamui had been seen since then again, not even Dazai. Two people commented about the stench of burned bodies in the surrounding area, which lasted for a couple of days.

Through these more cooperative people, Sasuke could find out more details about the clan, even if there was very little they knew, considering its people didn't live in Jōmae .

Apparently, they had been friendly and hardworking people who made commerce with Jōmae . Their vegetables had been delicious, but even though they still did business with the village, the quality had decreased. Some even talked about Kamui and what a nice person he was, always friendly and available, and that it was surprising that he was this way considering what had happened and the fact that he had lost his beloved wife.

However, no one seemed to know about what happened to the children, and everyone seemed to think Yui was dead. Perhaps that was Kamui's goal to not attract attention and keep the kids safe.

Feeling a little less preoccupied, Sasuke considered he didn't have to worry about the veracity of Kamui's story for now, even though it made him angry that the village was so secretive about it, and so nonchalant.

He still didn't trust Kamui one hundred percent, but then again, he could count on the fingers of one hand the people he did trust, and even then, he always thought the worst.

Sasuke felt immensely sorry for those kids, though. They were free, yet were stuck, hidden in that large parcel of land because it was too dangerous to venture outside. Kamui's apprehension was understandable, but they couldn't live like this forever.

So, for two days, Kamui worked and Sasuke reached his conclusions. They would meet for lunch and talk a bit about the compound's layout and Kamui's plans. Just before dinnertime, Kamui would head to the infamous pub (more like a tavern) he so loved to have a bit of fun with the girls while Sasuke had to wait for him because he couldn't go home without him, the only one who could undo the seals that protected the house and surrounding area.

Despite Kamui's cheeky invitations for Sasuke to join him and have some fun himself, the Uchiha vehemently refused, showing his obvious displeasure. There was no way he could wrap his mind around the man's behavior. Why go to those girls at all? With his looks, he could fuck just about anyone he wanted.

Sasuke had a feeling Kamui made him wait on purpose to upset him or see his reaction. When Kamui emerged from the place, smelling like booze, smoke, and sweat, he would smile happily at Sasuke and place an arm around his neck as they made their way home for dinner.

You don't know what you're missing, 'cause those ladies are amazing! He'd say, and Sasuke could only snort.

While a part of him was annoyed, he had quickly come to understand that Kamui's love for these little escapades was yet another form of coping mechanism. Sasuke himself had once used sex and people's affections to help him cope with the loneliness of a broken heart, so he couldn't blame Kamui for seeking oblivion through drinking and sex. Maybe those girls and their lack of attachment made things easier for him.

After all, what kind of relationship could Kamui have with a woman when he had seventeen extra mouths to feed? Romance was probably the last thing on his mind, and of course, it was guaranteed that no one would want that type of responsibility just for dating a guy.

It was sad. Kamui had been a happily married man once, almost a father, and now he had lost everything, even the chance for love. At least for the time being, while the children were too young to live their lives.

Sasuke wondered if Kamui even wanted love at some point, after having lost the love of his life.

Well, whatever, Sasuke dismissed, shoving his feelings aside. As long as it didn't interfere with their relationship or what they had to do, it didn't matter to him what the guy did, and Kamui was a responsible man.

On day three, the two rose early, and together, they got breakfast ready for everyone. Kamui was impressed that Sasuke already knew his way around the house and was proficient.

When the kids woke up, Sasuke helped get them cleaned and ready for the day ahead before the nineteen of them shared breakfast, eating outside in front of the house while sitting on the ground or stones.

It was a fairly simple life, yet there was love, respect, and companionship. Kamui treated all the children as if they were his own, and they cared for him and looked up to him. They also adored Yui, who was their primary caretaker. The girl was quiet and barely smiled, yet she seemed to be attentive and caring, her eyes far too mature for a seventeen-year-old.

Too afraid to trigger terrible memories, Sasuke didn't ask them about the massacre or their parents, even if he wanted to.

After breakfast, Kamui picked up a few notebooks and some fruits to snack on, and he and Sasuke made their way to the beach. It was best if they trained away from home or the kids might disturb them too much—they were already demanding Sasuke's attention as it was.

The beach Kamui took them to wasn't the same where they had met. This one was considerably smaller, located down a rocky path, and quite distant from Jōmae , completely deserted, which was a plus.

Sasuke was grateful for the privacy and quiet, even if being alone with the other man made him feel a little queasy.

He wasn't exactly pleased to admit that he had taken a liking to Kamui. The guy was straightforward and a little relentless, but he was hardworking, playful, and always had a smile ready for the right occasions. Kamui never said 'no' to a request, always available to play or help the kids.

It was incredible how capable he was of acting as if he hadn't seen the things he'd seen. No one would believe he was planning a massacre himself.

When Sasuke thought about it, it brought shivers down his spine, and he didn't know if this horrified him or impressed him — perhaps both. It was a complicated mixture of emotions he didn't know well how to interpret, but Kamui's strength made him feel strange, maybe a little envious, too.

Giving in to Kamui's initial desire to fight him, it was Sasuke who suggested they train together by sparring. After all, it would be good to learn about each other's fighting styles if they would work together.

It didn't take long for Sasuke to realize it was a great idea, and also a terrible one, and while he hadn't expected Kamui to be an easy match, he hadn't expected him to be exactly challenging .

Even if the man said he had no special skills, physically he was astoundingly athletic. One-on-one, he was fast and quick-witted in his decisions. His strikes were merciless and quite troublesome, and Sasuke found he started sweating at a far too early stage.

Kamui didn't hold back, more than glad to show off his abilities. His fighting style was highly aggressive, unhinged, even, and completely devoid of care for his opponent, which Sasuke appreciated because he did not want to be underestimated.

If there was one thing he appreciated was a challenge, so he found the sparring session to be very satisfying indeed, perhaps a bit too much.

Kamui was quite a formidable opponent.

Admittedly, Sasuke was detached when sparring. The only times he had been sensitive to his partner was whenever he sparred with Naruto because they were in perfect sync and there was always an emotional side to their interactions that had them communicating through their fists, which undoubtedly made things tense, sometimes, sexual.

When they had been traveling together and sex had become natural to both, that was a daily occurrence, even.

Sasuke and Kamui were far from having the same link, and yet, the man had been the first person after Naruto to force the Uchiha to realize how physical and intimate sparring could be.

While it wasn't Kamui's intention, truth was, Sasuke found himself more aware of him than he'd intended to—the way a small crease formed in his forehead when he dodged a tricky attack, the way his muscles tensed and sweat formed in his arms, gleaming under the sun; how he would smirk self-satisfactory whenever he managed a counterfeit, his fearless way of shamelessly getting on Sasuke's face…

That Kamui's expressive eyes mirrored Sasuke's excitement didn't exactly help, and Sasuke was not only annoyed beyond himself, but frankly tired of it, as well.

Why did he have to feel this way?

After they sparred, Kamui easily stripped down to his underwear and went for a dive in the sea, Sasuke promptly refusing his proposal to join him. What would be the use of washing the sweat off if he was going to be learning the man's jutsu in a few minutes, anyway?

Besides, it was safer for him to have a few minutes to pull himself together and calm down—his testosterone levels seemed to be much higher than usual, and he had to wonder if this was finally his body complaining about how little sex he indulged in, even with himself.

While Sasuke could have a strong sexual appetite if given the right external input when by himself, his drive was shockingly low as this was far from a priority to him.

He had never lied when he said that he didn't need sex, even if he admitted to enjoying it immensely under the right conditions. His body, however, for some unfathomable reason, seemed to have other ideas nowadays.

It had been too long since he'd last been with someone – that someone being Naruto, of course – so maybe this was just accumulated stress. He had been with Gaara recently, but it had been a long time since they'd shared intimacy; they were a lost case, so it was no use to go further and make things harder for both. While Sasuke would've done it easily, he wouldn't dare to do that to Gaara, even if the man would be more than willing.

This to say that, while he and the Kazekage were still good friends and comfortable around each other, Gaara's longing for him was still clear, and the way it affected Sasuke's mood brought a little too much tension between them.

That had to be the reason behind this pent-up frustration. It had nothing to do with Kamui's looks or the obvious reciprocated interest in his eyes that Sasuke told himself it did not affect him.

All Sasuke had to do was ignore it, pretend it didn't exist. It was absurd enough as it was, unexpected and new, but they barely knew each other and this wasn't something he had ever done, or would ever do, or so he tried to convince himself.

Acknowledging it to himself and allowing himself to look once in a while made it oddly easier to bear, but it was as far as he'd take this.

While Kamui bathed, Sasuke took some time to properly check the scroll with the jutsu . He had read it once before out of curiosity, but now that he would be actively training to learn it, he needed to know the basics.

There weren't many steps to the learning process, even if a few seals needed to be executed in the meantime.

"This seems fairly easy," Sasuke said, as Kamui slumped down on the sand beside him, water dripping down heavily from his hair and down his body. "I think I can have it mastered in two days."

"Wow, you certainly exalt yourself, don't you?" Kamui said with a good-natured laugh, twisting his hair to get most of the water out. "I guarantee, not even you can master it in two days."

Against his better judgment, Sasuke looked to the side to find the man sitting beside him, now with his knees pulled up and his elbows resting on them, almond eyes watching him curiously. Strands of hair were glued to the sides of his face, droplets of salty water rolling down his tanned chest and arms, and he looked, to Sasuke, something similar to a water god. He looked so good.

He smelled like the ocean, too, and Sasuke had forgotten how absurdly sensual the scent was that it brought him instantly back to those days he and Naruto had spent with Taka. Even when the others hadn't been around, he and his best friend had often sneaked to that heavenly beach whenever they had a bit of time, not to do dirty things (because they were always afraid of getting caught) but to touch a bit and kiss and it had been equally pleasant and intense.

There was something very sexy about the brushing of two wet bodies.

Pushing his thoughts violently aside, he frowned at the older man. "I can and I will , Kamui."

Kamui's condescending smile appeared. "No, Sasuke; you can't and you won't ."

"Wanna bet?"

"Why, as a matter of fact, I do." Kamui twisted his body so he was facing Sasuke, one hand on the sand between them, an amused gleam in his eyes. "How long did you say you will take?"

"Two days," Sasuke assured him confidently.

"Alright, and I say you can't do it," Kamui countered smoothly. "Let's bet on it. What do you want from me if I lose?"

Of course, Sasuke had been expecting exactly that, so he replied a little too quickly. "I want to put you under a genjustu ."

Kamui's smile disappeared as a surprised expression took over his complexion. "That… sounds kind of… well, to each their own, I guess. I'm always open to new things."

"I meant to try to fix you being triggered by the gate, idiot," Sasuke snapped, punching his arm in exasperation and making him laugh a bit. "I also would like to see your memories."

"I didn't know you could do that with genjutsu ," Kamui said, genuinely interested now.

"I can't, but there's a similar method to get inside a person's mind," Sasuke explained, rolling the scroll in his lap with a hand. "The human brain is like an archive, or a house with infinite rooms, all of them representing a memory, and usually a feeling connected to it. If I put you under a genjutsu, I can place you inside one of those rooms, so to speak, and make you revisit that memory. Within it, though, I can do whatever I want, it's basically a background scenery of my choice."

"If you can do whatever you want within those memories, does it mean you can tamper with them?"

A smart question that had Sasuke feeling a little impressed.

"Yes, even though it requires a lot of skill," he confirmed with a nod. Kamui was looking down at the way Sasuke's hand worked the scroll. "I can use them as scenery or make you relive them as an event. Within that event, I can manipulate the outcome. It doesn't change reality, but it changes reality as you see it ."

"So you're saying you can get inside my mind and change my memories?" the other man asked. "Or, for example, change how I see a cow and think it's a dog?"

"I never did that, but yes, I suppose it's logically possible."

For a few moments, Kamui seemed to ponder what was being said to him before speaking. "That's a terrifying ability, Sasuke."

From the way his voice had lowered to become more serious, Kamui felt obvious apprehension.

"I'm not doing any of that," Sasuke assured him, shoving the scroll inside his bag – he'd already memorized the whole thing. "I can just create a scenery myself and place you there. Or simply display your memories as a movie from your point of view. But all this to say that, while I can't read your mind, I can visit your memories. It's easier if you allow me entrance, but I can force myself inside either way by drawing out the most fragile parts of you and torturing you through them. That's usually how it's done with enemies. But, well, genjutsu can be used for good things, too."

"And what, exactly, would you be doing while using your genjutsu on me?"

It was said curiously, casually.

"Well, as I said, I want to enter your memories and try to fix your trauma so you don't get triggered by that gate, or similar sights," Sasuke explained, turning to face him back. "So I will merely invade your memory and change it so that image doesn't appear. I can either delete the image so it'll leave you with a sense of slight amnesia, or I can replace it with something else. It depends on what's easier and less mentally detrimental."

They looked at each other in silence. Kamui seemed slightly taken aback and worried now, but Sasuke didn't want to hurt him at all.

While treating the other's trauma was his main motive, he wouldn't admit to wanting to travel inside Kamui's past, too, and see his past self and the depths of his heart and how all of this affected the way he perceived life and his feelings. That would just be an extra.

"Is that your only motivation?" Kamui asked, slowly.

Oh, the guy could read him well. Another fascinating and frustrating trait of his.

I also need to see for myself if you are who I think you are.

"You'll be a good test subject," was all Sasuke said.

"I'd gladly be one for you if you only asked," Kamui countered with a small frown. "But yes, you're competitive, so let's keep it simple. I accept."

Of course, Sasuke thought, pleased. Kamui was highly competitive as well.

"And you? What do you want if I lose?" Sasuke then asked, before adding, "Which I won't, by the way."

The corner of Kamui's mouth curled upward. "I want you to spend a day with me."

Sasuke could only make a face at him. "Doing what?"

"Whatever I damn well please and you won't get a saying on it," the older man said, tugging at a strand of Sasuke's hair none-too-gently. "Don't worry. I won't ask for anything extreme. Unless you want me to?"

"Keep dreaming."

"Do you accept?"

"You're on."

000

Three days later and Sasuke hadn't mastered the jutsu no matter how many hours he spent practicing. He'd gone as far as staying up through the night on the second day of training just to do his best and win the bet, but he simply couldn't .

The jutsu was a lot more difficult than it seemed, and while Sasuke understood the concept well and what he needed to do, the execution was highly complex.

The jutsu had several elements to it. Just the part alone of hiding one's chakra signature was complicated, but to reach the point where you could do it and use chakra to increase speed, it made it almost impossible to execute from a logical point of view. But Kamui could do it, so Sasuke would, too.

The process consisted initially of a simple technique to condense one's chakra inside a single channel. Once this was mastered, the perfect balance between this technique and an intense chakra exposure with a duration of less than a second to use incredible speed would achieve the ultimate result.

Sasuke hadn't even mastered the chakra condensation yet, even if he managed to reduce the visible levels by about 30%.

It turned out that this process was extremely painful. Even if it wasn't harmful at first glance, this action of trying to force your chakra to recoil felt like needles sliding through his veins, which made it even harder to work with. Eventually, Sasuke supposed the pain could drive a person's mind to crack, but fortunately (or unfortunately), this was something he'd gotten used to a lot when he'd been training with Orochimaru.

Despite Sasuke's frustration, Kamui seemed fairly impressed by his progress. It took him weeks to reach the same level Sasuke was at.

"I have faith that you'll have it under control in two weeks max," the man had said with a lopsided smirk, obviously satisfied that he had won their bet. "But even if it took you a month, trust me, that would still be pretty impressive."

Still, Sasuke didn't want to be praised—this was taking longer than he had expected, and it didn't put him in good spirits at all.

He wanted to go home and he wanted to see Katsuo.

Not that he wasn't enjoying the time he spent in that land. In all truth, his mind had been blissfully devoid of preoccupation despite the grueling task he had set himself to complete, but his heart was agitated in ways it hadn't been in years.

He and Kamui bumped heads many times, but it was more because of mutual teasing and challenging than because they didn't get along.

The older man was clever and easy to converse with, and he had this ability to lighten everything up in a way that never made things boring, too serious, or awkward. Even the moments of silence were comfortable, and Sasuke had a hard time wrapping his mind around the fact that he enjoyed spending time with him. And the children, of course.

Kamui was also extremely patient as a teacher, and while it was Sasuke who was practicing, he would often be active beside him and teach him several things about how to move to make it easier, which points of his body to focus on during certain stages and how to alleviate pain during the procedure. This taught Sasuke a lot about his body anatomy and several medical tips, but also made the touching between them quite inevitable as Kamui had to constantly touch his pressure points to prove his theories.

Even if he didn't want to think about it, Sasuke quickly got used to the man's closeness and his touch—after all, it helped with his training and offered him more knowledge that he was grateful for. Plus, they did spar every morning to warm up.

It was on Sasuke's seventh day of training that Kamui finally suggested they take a break, meaning that it was time for the Uchiha to keep his part of the deal.

This also meant a whole day slacking off and doing whatever Kamui wanted, which didn't exactly sit well with Sasuke because he wanted to get that damn jutsu under control as fast as possible.

Also, he didn't know how to feel about spending a day with the man without being occupied.

They usually had a lot to talk about–his training, the kids, Jōmae 's history and politics, and their plans for the compound's invasion—but it was mostly work.

Kamui had said he didn't want to think about work or their 'business' for the day, so in many ways, Sasuke feared that 1) they would have nothing to talk about or 2) they ended up talking about personal things.

Admittedly, Sasuke feared getting ever closer to the man, and yet, there was no denying anymore that his interest and curiosity were growing, as well as rising anxiety over the fact.

Or rather, the mere thought of accepting this was what unsettled Sasuke the most.

Growing to genuinely like someone had happened so inevitably and naturally without him even understanding how even if he knew about the why, and it unsettled him because he still didn't feel at ease around Kamui.

So, on their proclaimed day off, Sasuke told himself to calm the fuck down and not think about it too much.

Who cared if they had nothing to talk about? Silence had never bothered him, and if things got awkward, they could always call it a day.

The morning started like every other morning. They made breakfast, helped get the kids ready for the day before they all ate together, and then spent some time helping Yui clean up the house. These were things Sasuke enjoyed doing, and the routine helped him relax and start seeing the day in a less problematic light.

Afterward, and just as routinely dictated, they made their way to their favorite beach (deserted as always) for the mandatory morning training, or so Sasuke thought.

Because the weather was especially hot, they had both dressed lightly in shorts and t-shirts, and Sasuke was hoping that the day would be uneventful enough if they didn't need to carry weapons around. Of course, they both still carried small pouches with a few things they might need in case someone randomly attacked them for some reason—that was the Shinobi life.

As soon as they got to the beach and removed their sandals, though, Kamui flashed Sasuke a positively disgusting smile that instantly told him something was coming.

"Let's play a game I sometimes play with the boys, just for fun," the man suggested, placing both hands on his waist good-naturedly. "And since you like bets, let's bet on it."

"I sense something dumb coming," Sasuke mumbled, frowning suspiciously.

"You're not wrong, but it's still fun," Kamui agreed with a small chuckle. "It's also good for training, just slightly different."

Sasuke didn't reply, patiently waiting for whatever crazy idea was coming, but Kamui didn't seem fazed by his bored expression.

"So the idea is, we strip down to our underwear," the older man explained, immediately making Sasuke raise his eyebrows. "And the challenge is, we have to see which of us can steal the other's underwear first. The winner can ask whatever they want. Same as our previous bet."

Sasuke couldn't help but heave a sigh. "You play this game with the boys?" he asked, disbelievingly, because it was a silly game and nothing that involved people getting naked seemed like a good idea.

"You'd be surprised at how much they love it," Kamui said with an easy shrug. "There's no harm in it; it's just a game."

"I think I've seen your ass enough already, Kamui," Sasuke dismissed, really not in the mood for getting unnecessarily intimate with the man in a non-sparring environment.

"You haven't seen it enough, in my opinion," the man countered cheekly, shaking his head in amusement. "You're so boring , Sasuke."

"I'm not boring," Sasuke said, rolling his eyes.

"Then prove it," Kamui insisted. "Play with me. I'll let you put me in a genjutsu if you win."

Despite himself, this obviously perked Sasuke's interest. " Fine , you nagging old hag."

Kamui's smile was so big it became radiant. It made Sasuke's cheeks feel infuriatingly hot.

Resigned, Sasuke firmly started to lower his shorts. With a nasty grin and his eyes never leaving Sasuke's, Kamui did the same as they both stripped down to their boxers.

"No dirty tricks," Kamui reminded him. "Just one-on-one fair game, hands-on."

"You're way too confident," Sasuke said, unable to not feel amused by the man's confident smirk.

"Well, I always win at this game."

"Against children ."

"Well, you're not much different, so…"

Inhaling sharply at the lighthearted hint, Sasuke quickly attacked, reaching out a hand to attempt to lower the other man's brown boxers, a movement Kamui caught and easily avoided by jumping back.

"No cheating, Uchiha," he retorted, pointing a finger at Sasuke despite how entertained he was. "Don't make me regret thinking you're a decent man."

"Decency is for fools," Sasuke replied easily, positioning himself to strike again. "You should know better than to think I won't give it my all to win."

"I expected no less from you."

Between a ridiculous game of chase, too much touching and unnecessary flamboyant moves just for show, Sasuke got dirty, wet, and felt ridiculously childish as he tried his best to single-handedly steal the man's underwear.

However, Kamui's playfulness and uninhibited laughter were beyond contagious, and Sasuke couldn't help but admit that he was having fun. There was nothing in his mind but the warmth of the sun, the sea breeze hitting his naked skin, and the heavy beating of his heart. His eyes followed the other man's every move like a hawk, and he could think of nothing else but his goal.

He forgot himself, his age, his past, or even his (their) future. For a moment, he was just himself and no one else, nameless and burdenless, and he was free and happy.

How odd.

It was such an intoxicating thought he lost himself in the haze for a few seconds, only Kamui's voice and existence keeping him grounded to reality.

That fascinating, sinful existence that forced him out of his comfort zone—out of himself, even.

After what felt like hours, Sasuke finally disarmed Kamui and made him lose balance so he was falling on the sand, and this allowed him to quickly take his chance and slip Kamui's boxers off. The man had struggled, but Sasuke had been too efficient.

Victorious, breathless, and a little sweaty, Sasuke stood while holding the underwear with two fingers, a smug smile on his lips. "How does it feel to get beaten by an armless guy? Must suck, I'd say."

Kamui got to his feet and huffed, completely naked at this point and not very self-conscious about it as he ran a hand through his loose, disheveled hair. "A fair win after a rocky start, I'll give you that, Uchiha-sama," he said, with a lopsided smile.

Despite having seen the other in his birthday suit far too many times already, Sasuke still found his eyes traveling effortlessly over caramel skin. Kamui's gaze noticed this because his smile changed slightly, but he merely stretched his arms over his head, flexing appealing muscles Sasuke had no idea he found attractive before meeting him. "I'm going for a swim. Care to join me?"

"I need to catch my breath," Sasuke refused, letting the boxers in his hand fall to the sand carelessly before wiping the sweat off his forehead.

"I'm sure you do," Kamui replied good-naturedly. He dropped his arms and turned his back on him, running to the ocean without another word.

The guy sure loved the sea.

Heaving a sigh, Sasuke slumped down on his ass on the sand and let himself fall backward so he was lying on his back.

Closing his eyes, he allowed the sounds and scents around him to help him relax. He was filled with adrenaline, his heart thumping in his ears.

It was a fact that he was a little hard, too.

One would say he was a teenager and not a man in his late twenties.

Despite the heavy task he had promised to help Kamui with, and even if things weren't alright, life itself had been carefree and uncomplicated for the last few days. Kamui had made it so it was this way so Sasuke could feel at ease.

It was the kind of life Sasuke loved, the life he wanted to have, someday, even if his restless nature would always force him to keep moving and working on bettering the world.

This wasn't his life, though. This calm, this quietude was only temporary, for himself, Kamui and his family.

Peace was just a convenient illusion because no life and no family were perfect. Things would get ugly soon, and Sasuke was still struggling with how to feel about it and whether there was something he could do.

Why am I always drowning in these lives that aren't mine at all? He thought, exasperated at himself.

Why do I always get so attached to things that aren't mine, to begin with?

For now, though, he was content in an odd, solemn way.

The minutes ticked by and Sasuke was unaware of drifting off, blissfully floating between sleep and awareness. Regardless, he didn't hear Kamui's steps towards him, only rising to consciousness when he felt a heavy weight dropping on his groin and cold droplets of water falling on his skin and causing him to shudder.

Opening his eyes with a frown, he looked up at Kamui, who was comfortably sitting on top of him, straddling his waist, soaking wet and again resembling some sort of unearthly creature.

Despite his better judgment, Sasuke was instantly very aware that Kamui was completely naked while sitting on his crotch, and he had done it on purpose.

Regardless, he was a sinful vision, and Sasuke was already wound up enough as it was.

"Come on, say it," Kamui teased, noticing Sasuke's frown. " Get your balls off me or I'll make you swallow them . Sounds like something you'd say right now."

"Now that you're expecting it, I'm not giving you the pleasure," Sasuke countered, making a displeased face. "Why do you have your balls on top of me, though?"

"Because someone stole my underwear," Kamui replied, as if it was obvious.

"You could just get it, then; it's right there."

"I saw nothing."

Lies, of course. If Sasuke turned his head to the side, he'd find the boxers abandoned and within arm's reach. But this was Kamui, and unfortunately, these small quirks were as infuriating as they were charming.

In all honesty, Sasuke wasn't exactly displeased by their position, and yet, he didn't know what to think about it, either.

Reaching down, Kamui pushed Sasuke's fringe away from his eye, wetting Sasuke's forehead. "I'm going to cut this horrible thing while you sleep," he said conversationally, fingers combing his fringe in a way that felt more like a caress than a casual touch. It was nice, comforting, and while Sasuke felt the urge to brush his cheek in the man's rough palm, he fought against it and instead glared at him with narrowed eyes.

"I'd like to see you try," Sasuke defied, grabbing Kamui's wrist to force him to stop his ministrations.

Unfazed, Kamui simply gazed back, not replying at first. His mocking smile had disappeared, his expression contemplative.

With the other hand, he grabbed Sasuke's and made him release his wrist carefully. Then, he slowly brought it to his lips and gently kissed his fingers.

The impact this had on Sasuke's body was so immediate it made him feel unexpectedly dizzy, an agonizing wave of lust washing over him as his blood concentrated south, every muscle in his body tensing in awareness.

He was glad he was still on his back, otherwise, he'd probably be swaying, weakened by soft, wet lips that kissed each finger as if time was meaningless.

Oddly enough, embarrassment wasn't something Sasuke could feel right now, even if he knew Kamui could feel his arousal between his ass-cheeks without a doubt. However, he felt lost, suddenly confused by all the things he realized he wanted just then but couldn't quite process.

His desire for the man wasn't new to him, but he hadn't expected it to hit him so shamelessly, so irreversibly.

Right then, he had no strength to challenge it.

And yet, this powerful lust came with far too many unwanted feelings, questions, and fears.

What kind of lust was this that made him feel so helpless?

Kamui's eyes were demanding, expressive and intense, yet gentle.

"Kamui…" he uttered, and his voice was steady despite the rush coursing through his veins. "What are you doing?"

"I think it's obvious by now that I'm very attracted to you," Kamui whispered without missing a beat, his warm breath against Sasuke's fingers like a calling. "You're not a child; you know what I'm doing."

"I thought this wasn't your thing," Sasuke countered, somehow finding the coherence to defy, even if all he wanted was to shove his fingers inside Kamui's mouth and see what would happen.

Somehow, he knew Kamui would respond the right way.

"I thought so, too," Kamui replied, now pressing Sasuke's palm flat against the side of his neck, openly inciting him – inviting him – to touch him. "But you're different, it seems. You turn me on so much I can't even hide it, no matter how hard I try."

Sasuke didn't need to look down to know it was true. He could feel Kamui's erection against his navel and he refused to look down because he knew it would trigger him.

He swallowed. Under the palm of his hand Kamui's pulse was erratic, like the rapid beat of a drum, and Sasuke wanted nothing more than to caress that gorgeous neck and down his perfect, soaked body.

Kamui's hand squeezed Sasuke's as if to stimulate it, to get it moving, reacting, while the other fell on Sasuke's ribcage, the tips of his fingers experimental, cold against Sasuke's way too hot skin.

"My apparently debauched persona is not who I am," Kamui said, brushing his fingers up and down Sasuke's chest soothingly, yet the touch was rough, meaningful, and impatient. "All my life I've been faithful to Rio, devoted to her as helpless mythical lovers are. After her, I felt like a part of me had died, that I would never feel that spark again. It's been five years, Sasuke. This is the first time I want someone else, and life is too short to waste time thinking about useless things. Nothing in me cares about your gender or other useless details that might come between us. It doesn't have to be complicated."

Sasuke's eyes didn't leave Kamui's, his breath stuck in his throat.

While he was aware of the tension, aware of what was happening and how something they hadn't ever approached was being exposed so suddenly and unexpectedly, he didn't move. Even if his body screamed for him to move, to pull the man to him without restraint because that's what Kamui wanted, he was floored by Kamui's words.

"Help me out here and do something, Sasuke," Kamui urged softly, equally wound up, but now with a hint of hesitation in his voice. "What do I do? How do I go about seducing you in a way that's not disrespectful to you as a man?"

Was Kamui really thinking about him and his boundaries now? What man did this when the person beneath them was equally aroused?

This was something they had both been aware of for a long time. It wasn't a question of what they wanted, but a question of whether Sasuke would allow it. It had never been an issue for Kamui, despite how he had never been with a man before.

It was endearing in a way, and still…

"You don't need to seduce me," Sasuke whispered, his hand coming to life to cup Kamui's cheek, his heart clenching as Kamui's lips languidly mouthed his palm. The man had never looked more beautiful to him. "But even if you say it doesn't have to be complicated, I…"

"Just tell me what's on your mind," Kamui asked, blissfully still now, completely focused on Sasuke. "What's making you hesitate when you want it, too? Is it your lover? Your wife? No, for sure, something else."

What, indeed?

"Are you alright with doing it and putting it behind you?" Sasuke whispered-

Kamui's eyebrows rose for a moment, not expecting such a question, but then he offered Sasuke a bittersweet smile. "It's just sex, and you of all people should understand this," he said, choosing his words carefully. "If you ask me if I'm alright doing it knowing we will follow different paths soon, the answer is no. That's all I'm going to say on the matter. Let's not talk about things you're not comfortable talking about."

"I'm not comfortable about any of this at all," Sasuke admitted, truthfully, even if his chest burned and his body screamed the opposite. "I don't enjoy feeling this way about you. Even if it's just sex, I don't want to think about us. I don't trust you."

He knew he was being harsh, ruining the mood, ruining something potentially fantastic, albeit momentary, but his horniness had never been stronger than his motivations or his principles.

It wasn't a lie that he still didn't trust Kamui, and this was the main reason he was hesitating. It had nothing to do with Naruto at all; he just didn't feel comfortable enough to drop his guard and give himself to someone he still didn't know the truth about, no matter how much he wanted to.

And fuck, did he want to. The liberty alone to touch Kamui's face like this was bliss. Kamui's body was an exquisite exotic temple he wanted desperately to explore, and he was one hundred percent certain of this now.

But he was also immensely scared of being disappointed, stabbed in the back. He didn't want to end up hurt because Kamui wasn't just a body he wanted to fuck – he was someone that had come to mean something to him, even if he didn't know exactly what.

And it fucking hurt that he had to mention that Sasuke had meaning to him, too.

As usual, Sasuke's bluntness did not offend Kamui. There was understanding in his eyes, and Sasuke hated this about him – this ability he had of reading him accurately and looking through him as if his very soul was exposed. It disarmed him, made him want to give in, to let go.

"You said you wanted to put me under a genjustu ," Kamui recalled, and his voice was so gentle, so calm, it was unsettling. "Do it now, then. Do whatever you need to make your peace with who I am to you."

A punch to the gut wouldn't have the same impact that Kamui's words had.

Kamui knew Sasuke, knew what was upsetting him, what was holding him back and why, and again, he was exposing himself to danger, offering himself carelessly, knowing very well what Sasuke could do to him.

For the briefest moment, Sasuke was assaulted by loneliness and an even deeper hunger for the man on top of him.

Moving his hand so it was curling around the back of Kamui's neck, Sasuke sat down. Their breaths collided as Sasuke joined their foreheads together, and this was, by far, the most intimate moment they'd had so far.

Kamui was bold and wrapped his arms around Sasuke's neck loosely, their chests coming in contact. There was something sinfully erotic about the way Kamui's wet skin felt against Sasuke's. The man's cock was pressed against Sasuke's ribcage and it felt teasing, far too alluring.

"Are you sure?" Sasuke asked in a whisper.

"I trust you," Kamui assured him, even if he, too, was a little out of breath. "I'm willingly giving you the chance to kill me, if that's what you want."

Closing his eyes for a second to get his shit together, Sasuke took a deep breath. Then, he reopened them.

"Look into my eyes," Sasuke instructed, caressing the back of Kamui's neck slowly, marveled at the long strands of wet hair and the way Kamui's dark eyes fearlessly stared into his. "I don't want to kill you. But you are a fool."

Kamui all but snorted softly. Counting to three in his mind, Sasuke's Sharingan mutated.

000

Unknown to the other man, Sasuke had allowed Kamui's subconscious to choose the setting where his memories would be displayed. It didn't take long for Sasuke to realize that he was standing in one of the wide, long hallways of Kamui's compound, or at least a place very similar to it.

It was nighttime there, and the place was empty and silent, eerily dark. On both sides, Sasuke could see a long row of rooms with sliding doors lined in white, all open, welcoming him inside feelings and memories living inside Kamui's psyche.

The hallway seemed to stretch on for miles.

Under his naked feet, he could feel polished wood. Even if this wasn't his physical body, he could still feel his heart beating fast in excitement and anticipation, the thrill of his and Kamui's interaction very vivid still.

This was it.

His doubts towards the man held him back from responding to their attraction. In fact, Sasuke did not know if reaching out for it was something he would eventually do regardless of the outcome - he would only know once everything was cleared once and for all.

However, for the first time, Sasuke hesitated. He had wanted to read Kamui's mind and see the truth behind his story and motivations, yet now he wondered if this was something he would end up regretting, even if it could be beneficial in letting him know in advance if the man was plotting something against him.

Despite his suspicion, Sasuke ached. Kamui had become a part of his daily life, and he enjoyed his presence. He liked him, and he liked the idea of them potentially becoming friends, perhaps close ones.

No matter what he said or thought, Sasuke felt like it would be a devastating blow to him if he saw something that would destroy his vision of Kamui.

You chose this; he reminded himself. Don't walk away now. This is for the best.

Taking a deep breath, Sasuke took a few steps forward so he could find himself in between two rooms.

He had organized Kamui's memories from the most recent to the oldest, meaning that the further down the hall he went, the deeper he would dig into the man's past.

Resolutely, Sasuke turned his head to his left. Inside the room, there was sunlight and a physical scenario of the beach where they were. Kamui wasn't there, but the sand, sea, and sky were all the same, and Sasuke was there, mostly naked safe from the black boxers he was wearing.

It was a memory from only minutes before.

The perspective was odd because while there was a physical scenario, Sasuke could only see what Kamui's eyes had seen. This was the first time he was delving into another person's mind intending to read it rather than simply manipulating it, so it was new to him as well.

Curious, Sasuke stepped inside the room, instantly feeling the sand under his feet, the warmth of the sun, and the scent of the sea, carried by the gentle breeze.

This wasn't the only thing Sasuke could feel though, because as soon as he entered the room and Kamui's memory, he was privy to the man's emotions, even if he couldn't listen to or feel his thoughts.

Instantly, a flood of contentment and amusement hit him – Kamui's emotions.

"You're so boring, Sasuke," he could hear Kamui's voice saying, causing Sasuke from the memory to roll his eyes.

"I'm not boring," he defended, with an almost childish pout.

"Then prove it," Kamui said. "Play with me. I'll let you put me in a genjutsu if you win."

"Fine, you nagging old hag."

Sasuke made the memory move slower and took a few seconds to inspect himself from Kamui's perspective.

He realized Sasuke's image was vivid in Kamui's mind – every trace of him, every detail, from the bluish highlights in his hair to the small crease in his eyebrow. He had even noticed the tiny beauty mark he had on his collarbone on the right side. None of this was surprising – after all, Kamui was a spy, so memorizing these details was part of his job.

It also became clear that Kamui found him immensely attractive, and Sasuke could tell because his image was strangely focused on him in an almost enchanting way. When Sasuke allowed the memory to run normally once more, this was also confirmed by the way Kamui's emotions exploded at Sasuke's consent to the game.

There was happiness, excitement, and a vibrant surge of longing that only escalated the moment they both started stripping to their boxers.

It filled Sasuke with a dark and infuriating curiosity as he stood there, watching them playing and trying to take each other's underwear off between fits of laughter and challenging remarks. Kamui's emotions fluctuated wildly, jumping from admiration to fondness and finally lust, all of this intertwining with a strange sense of unease, of fear of loss.

None of this was news to Sasuke, and yet confirming it didn't make things any less conflicting for him.

He had been preparing himself for the possibility of their chemistry being a purposefully orchestrated act. He thought that it would've been easier for him if this had been the case – at least he'd know what to feel about it and act accordingly.

But there Sasuke was, overwhelmend by the intensity and by the overpowering desire coming from the man – a desire that was very sexual in nature, but also emotional.

There was a feeling of helplessness that came from Kamui and towards him that Sasuke wished he could understand. Not that the man felt inferior, no. Kamui saw him as someone who was above him, yet he was aware of himself and didn't belittle himself at all.

Kamui wanted to be someone Sasuke could envision by his side and see as an equal.

Still, Sasuke knew what the helplessness he felt was, but was suddenly too overwhelmed to contemplate.

Dealing with the truth of Kamui's fluctuating desires every time their skin brushed was not something Sasuke wanted to do right now, no matter how enticing it was.

Taking a deep breath, he made his way out of the room, somewhat relieved when he no longer held the weight of someone else's emotions on his shoulders.

He knew the relief was only momentary because there was much to see still.

Swallowing, he resumed his path down the hall, checking every room but being careful not to enter unless strictly necessary.

At first, all he could see were memories from last week. Kamui's simple days in the village, Sasuke's training, and their everyday routines. The further Sasuke went, the more the past revealed itself, and it didn't take long for him to find the rooms that held Kamui following Sasuke way before they had met. Indeed, Kamui had been following him for a long time from dusk till dawn, taking notes on everything he did. Sasuke had dared to venture inside one of those rooms just to see how Kamui had felt about him then, and found a deep interest, kinship and again, admiration.

Kamui had been in Suna, and Konoha, too.

He found Kamui further back, asking around about Uchiha Sasuke and going to several unknown locations and people that gave him information on him and his clan.

When Kamui had come across Sasuke's story, and past, surprise and shock had taken him. After literally crying about it for over an hour, this was when Kamui's feelings for Sasuke had changed, as well as his plans to kill him. From just another Shinobi, another unimportant stranger, Sasuke had become someone he could relate to – someone who knew the world the way he did. This was when Sasuke had become immensely fascinating to him.

Then, he found the moment further in the past when Kamui had first met his employer – the one who had asked for Sasuke's eyes. As expected, it was an unknown rich middle-aged man looking for power and recognition.

Useless and meaningless.

Checking all the other rooms was something Sasuke did more out of personal interest than anything else, but thanks to this, he could see more of Kamui's life and past.

From a certain point onwards, though, it became darker.

Several rooms were filled with memories of Kamui's missions. Some were simply about collecting intel, but others were downright gruesome.

This was where he found out that his new acquaintance was not only a murderer but also a torturer, depending on what he was paid to do.

Despite his better judgment, Sasuke couldn't help but enter a few of those rooms because he desperately wanted to know how it felt, for Kamui, to do the things he did.

The more recent memories felt like a void. Kamui's training – and experience, he guessed – had numbed him. All Sasuke could feel coming from him was resignation and an intense focus, as if he had purposefully stifled his emotions towards his actions until nothing could surface.

After his missions, Kamui would wash himself up thoroughly and hold back the vomit that always threatened to leave his throat.

As Sasuke entered the most interesting rooms, he came to know that, in the beginning, though, Kamui's feelings towards his missions were chaotic, filled with despair, self-disgust and guilt.

Kamui's training had been intense, and he'd had far too many teachers from various places. He came to learn how to do things Sasuke hadn't even known to be possible, all of them he had perfected, excelled at, always with a suffocating sense of helplessness and self-hatred.

Upset and overly emotional, Sasuke decided it was best to stop entering these rooms at all – he'd seen, and felt enough as it was.

He came across memories of Kamui fixing the house where he now lived. Memories of him, exhausted and devastated, but doing whatever he could to take care of the children and working himself to the bone to provide for everyone.

He came across memories of anguish, where Kamui spent sleepless nights staring into the void and drowning in sorrow and hatred.

And finally, Sasuke reached the memory he needed – the night of the massacre.

For a second, he hesitated, wondering if he could do this, if it was something he wanted to see and feel. After all, he too had lost his family and been witness to hundreds of corpses of his kin. While his situation was different, it had still moved him and he wasn't sure that he could go through the emotional process of processing Kamui's feelings.

However, Sasuke reminded himself that he had vouched to treat Kamui's trauma and his trigger, so he had to at least try. For that, he needed to be inside Kamui's memory in order to manipulate it.

Sasuke watched the memory from the outside of the room, with his heart beating wildly in his ears and goosebumps rising on his skin. He watched Kamui running towards the compound, erratic, only to find it being ransacked. Yelling could be heard, many things were destroyed, and smoke filled the air. Kamui had stopped in his tracks, distant enough to see the open gates where strangers walked in and out, but not enough to be seen.

From where he stood, the enormous pile of destroyed bodies of all ages that rested in a huge fire was perfectly visible, and while Sasuke had seen many horrors in his life, this was a sight unlike anything he had ever seen and it instantly filled him with sadness, anger and nausea.

Swallowing down his emotions, he resolutely stepped inside the memory.

Thankfully, in the memory Kamui was initially struck by shock, so other than an immense horror, no other emotions could be felt, which made things easier for Sasuke.

The stench, however, was vile. The sight, abhorrent.

As the memory progressed and Kamui's eyes took in the scene and the horrendous pile, he noticed people dear to him. Then, he noticed Rio, Kamui's wife.

It didn't look like Rio at all, stuck under all those bodies in a sickening angle, but her hair and a familiar birth mark on the corner of her open mouth gave it away.

Kamui stopped breathing and his heart felt like it had been stabbed so profoundly that Sasuke found himself gasping and putting a hand to his chest.

Sasuke had felt pain several times in his life. He had cried, had grieved, had thought his suffering was so immense that one day it would end up killing him. He thought he'd never feel that way again.

But just then, when Kamui was so violently assaulted by grief, he realized that he was wrong. Kamui's pain was so intense it was clear from his emotions that he wanted to be swallowed down by earth itself. He wanted to die, to tear himself apart so that something else could replace what was inside of him.

He had loved that woman so much that his sadness seemed to have expanded infinitely, spreading all over him like the darkness of a bottomless pit.

However, he was motionless, unblinking.

For a moment, it was so painful, deep, and all-consuming that Sasuke helplessly drowned in this feeling all too familiar to him. He brought a hand to his mouth to stifle the gasp of horror, but a sob still escaped his throat as his eyes watered. His whole body ached, throbbed as air vanished from his lungs.

There was no doubt to him then that he had been way over his head when he'd let his curiosity take the best out of him. He never should've done this and explored Kamui's memories and feelings – this was not something he wanted to feel and experience again.

He did not need to experience another person's grief like this.

But more than anything, even if Kamui's very soul seemed to have slipped inside Sasuke's bones, pulling him into this darkness, this hateful sorrow he felt, Sasuke was also able to feel his own emotions, and he was devastated on the man's behalf. No human being should ever have to go through this, it was too cruel, too unfair.

It reminded Sasuke of his brother, who had to lose everything by his own hand. How Itachi must've felt, cutting down his loved ones, his ties, his life, his clan, his family, only to be left with nothing but hatred and Sasuke to keep him going.

I shouldn't have come here, Sasuke thought, his body slouching forward as he struggled to breathe. Tears rolled down his cheeks and nose. He grit his teeth.

I need to do something. It can't have been in vain. I need to…

Now more than ever he knew he couldn't let Kamui live with this memory forever, this image of his family literally torn apart in such a gruesome way. Sasuke didn't even understand how he could sleep at night at all.

Gasping, Sasuke tried to focus on himself and his own consciousness as best as he could so Kamui's feelings could have a lesser impact on him. It wasn't easy when he was so consumed already, but he did so enough to breathe again.

His mind was a chaos, yet he forced himself to look at the disgusting pile of bodies and think about what he could do to minimize the impact of the sight without damaging Kamui's psyche and confusing him. He couldn't simply erase the pile because that would most likely change the perception Kamui had of the event, probably leading him to believe that his family could still be alive and that itself would lead to his mind cracking with the confusion of how he lived the last few years.

No, he couldn't diminish the meaning of this event to Kamui, nor change the world he had seen or his reality.

Swallowing hard, Sasuke's teary eyes observed and recorded every single body and every single detail. Tears still streamed down his face, stubbornly, as he looked around to see what elements surrounded Kamui that could be useful to manipulate the memory in a way that made sense and didn't conflict with what his brain had initially recorded. Then, he made a seal with his hand and, slowly and carefully, changed the image before him.

First, he had Kamui's space perception altered so that he thought he had come to a halt at a bigger distance from the gates. Then, Sasuke used a convenient bush to cover most of the scene and increased the flames from the fire and the smoke.

But he couldn't simply erase the bodies, or Rio. While it would be better for Kamui, again, he couldn't alter the man's perception of real events, and he needed to see that Rio was dead and beyond salvation. However, even if she was visible to Kamui, Sasuke made sure that she and all the other bodies weren't as disfigured as they had indeed been.

Of course, the pain would still be the same, but that the scene was now visually less impactful than before would hopefully be enough to not trigger Kamui whenever he faced those gates.

Hopefully.

As soon as he was done, Sasuke stumbled out of the memory, immediately falling to his knees on the wooden floor, breathing hard.

He realized he was shaking and sick to his stomach. Not only this, but while he wasn't overwhelmed by Kamui's feelings anymore, he felt so sad on his behalf he didn't know where the feeling had come from or why.

But it was done.

The tears wouldn't stop, though, as he openly sobbed now, feeling helpless in ways he hadn't in years.

A female voice could be heard in the room across from him and forced him to look up. Through his watery vision, he saw a memory of Kamui and Rio, probably from the last day he'd been home before leaving to work on Jōmae . Rio had been heavily pregnant already and she looked stunning, lying naked in their futon as he kissed her belly. Her smile was gentle, content as she touched his face.

For a moment, Sasuke wondered if stepping inside that memory would make him feel better or further his anguish. His ears could no longer process the sweet words exchanged, and somehow, the more he watched as the lovers exchanged caresses, slowly evolving into tender lovemaking, the worse Sasuke felt.

And this was when he knew he'd seen more than enough.

TBC…


Don't forget to read and comment, it gives me the motivation to keep writing!

I have a question for you all, and I hope you can give me your input. It's been mentioned before that Kamui and Sasuke had sex. Is this something you want to read about, or is it too much and unnecessary? I might or might not write the sex depending on my beloved reader's wishes ;)

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See y'all next time!