Rin drove us into the desert, leaving in the dust our tail.
-"Hold onto something."
Her breath was ragged and sweat was pouring from her frame.
"I will release the reinforcement."
I grabbed for dear life onto the dashboard, projected a helmet for each of us, and prayed.
Rin's Magical Crest faded and the jeep's wheels came apart, we bounced between the dashboard and our seats while the remains of the vehicle skidded to a halt in the sand.
The world was spinning and I was seeing three Rins. A shiver went down my spine.
I couldn't even focus enough to dismiss the helmets.
She lifted the lid of her biker helmet, her eyes a tad glazed over.
-"I am willing to concede that your obsession with Gradation Air can be, at times, adequate."
My finger marked a point for Shiriou over the proverbial board.
-"Aww shucks...stop...really it wasn't that great..."
Positive reinforcement...heh...was enough for me to regain my control on the projections and dismiss them
We struggled to unclasp the seatbelts, the locks had been bent in the crash. We had to cut them up.
Rin rummaged into our backpack of supplies and took out a bottle of water. I was about to ask her for some when she dumped it on her face and used it to clean her hair.
She looked at me.
-"Root above! I was going to die!"
I restrained my urges to commit proactive wife-cide. But the fella on my right shoulder said that I didn't have to get more blood on my hands.
Bad Shiriou started ranting about how she was actively trying to die.
Gotta agree with Horns here, we can't rest while they know we are out. We will need to walk in the day. No water. Bad juju.
Here the toga-clad Mini-Shirou urged me to have faith. Rin was a smart lady, in due time she would come around.
I stood with the backpack in my hand pondering over this.
Walk alone or walk by her side?
A mini-dad and a mini-mon popped on to chime their own thoughts. It was getting a wee bit crowded around my shoulder area.
They both said the same. Well...Mini-mom said GRANDKIDS! first, but then both said the same.
Common knowledge holds that Gradation Air is useless.
I stared into my hands.
Rin's voice cut my brooding.
-"Now hand me over more water, I'm parched."
The backpack's zipper was deafening in the silence of the night, so silent that her intake of air was unmistakable.
-"There...there's no more water?"
She looked down, where the muddy sand reflected moonlight.
"Now, what are we going to drink?"
I shrugged.
-"Piss."
She got down on the sand and tried desperately to shove the moist sand back into the bottle.
The jeep could prove handy for parts, my search yielded a flare gun and an empty canteen.
-"Come one, we need to walk as much as we can. The nearest town is over there."
-"How can you tell? You didn't even check that compass you carry everywhere."
-"No need, the stars."
We had walked for less than an hour when my partner started moaning.
-"My legs are killing me! If the boredom doesn't claim me first."
She poked me in the ribs.
"Have some inane stories to pass the time?"
I racked my brain for some PG stories, I had plenty of stories. But few were the kind you share with polite company.
-"My parents go to this church and meet a priest. How did they know it was a sign to get married then and there?"
Rin arched an eyebrow.
-"They saw a sign? They received a message?"
-"The priest tried to kill them."
And I snorted.
Rin grasped her head with both hands.
-"You you...you...you are lunatics! I'm starting to regret our vow. Dad is young, he could remarry and give me other sisters."
I was on a roll.
-"Another one. How do I know the Edelfelts were struck by Cupid while looking at me?"
Rin assumed a haughty stance, channeling her pedigree.
-"If she is a proper lady, she would have her parents write to your parents to host an event. There she could draw your eye using your family colours or any other sigil to convey her favour."
-"Heh, fat chance."
-"Then how do you know one of them harbours more than a fleeting fancy for you."
-"They tried to kill me."
-"If your field of work revolts around violence, pardon me for not finding it special."
She paused.
"You said they."
My eyes found hers, to let her know I wasn't making this up.
"Fiia talks to the bullet casing and Luvia knows I'm an incarnation and hasn't said a word to no one."
This was enough to crash Rin . exe.
She continued walking without blinking until her Magi 1.0 rebooted.
-"Why are you always scared about a Sealing Designation? It is the highest honour!"
Here she raised her hand and pointed to the sky.
"To be elevated above and beyond! The true hallmark of a Magi among Magi, becoming hosts of the Clock Tower, waited-"
-"HAHA pickled HaaaHHAaa balls HAHA-"
I started hiccuping.
"ha-hic-Ha-haH-HicHA"
It had been ages since I laughed so much, my ribs hurt and my precious water escaped my eyes. I rolled over the sand dunes, unable to move due to the giggles assaulting me. After gasping for breath at the foot of the dune, my vision was obscured by Rin's shape.
She was cross, oh so very cross.
-"I will pretend you just didn't insult the highest honour among the Mage Association."
She bent low, her nose almost touching mine.
"What's so funny?"
I wheezed out a bit of sand.
-"You made me remember my biological grandfather's pickled balls."
She wasn't amused, her eyes becoming slits.
-"Speak clearly, betrothed."
I looked at her.
-"Mage pickles. They chop you out and put your...brain, eyes, jewels, and all in jars."
I crossed my legs.
"Shirou likes his sword, thank you very much."
Sealing Designation = Pickles.
Rin . exe has encountered a fatal error.
Rebooting.
Sealing Designation = Pickles.
Rin . exe has encountered a fatal error.
Rebooting.
...
Rebooting.
-"WHAT?"
