Hello, I am sorry that it took so long for me to update, I had so many ideas and a bit of writers block. I hope this chapter turned out good.
Christian's POV
Adam had told me once that sometimes a vampire can feel when his mate is born. It would be a mix of joy, longing and protectiveness. To cherish someone like that person is your whole world. The feeling would be so strong that could last for days. If you are with someone at that time, you would find them irritating and even feel a simple hug like cheating to your destiny. Then the vampire would know that he or she is no longer alone in the world.
When I had heard this I thought it was too sweet to be true. Pure romantic fantasy. But now, centuries later, when I met Angelina, I had tried sometimes to remember if I had really felt anything 25 years ago when my darling was born. And I couldn't say with certainty because those years had been filled with so many parties, women. Most of my life then had been alcohol, trips around the world with gorgeous ladies. Filled with blood days and nights. Maybe I had been in France or Egypt when my darling came in to the world. But that time was a blur and now I wished I hadn't been so carefree, so intoxicated to feel the birth of my destiny. How stupid I had been! Maybe I had felt something, but explained it to myself with the alcohol. How I wished I could turn back the time! I should have celebrated her every birthday until she would be old enough for us to meet. Maybe that way at least I would have been prepared for my mate and not cause this huge mess.
I was proud of Angelina, I really was. I never thought I would feel this for another person, which wasn't my family or my maker Adam, but I did. And for a woman. During my human and vampire life I had been desired by so many women, but no one had made me proud and full of admiration. The women were so different then but still I haven't been able to open my heart to someone. I just used their bodies, drank their blood, but their presence didn't make me feel anything. Until her.
Angelina feels me with pride. She was not only gifted with enchanting beauty, but she was very smart too. My mate had studied hard and that made me so glad.
She had graduated Journalism and now worked in a women's magazine. I bought a couple of magazines. It was bit weird as a man for me to read those, but I needed to know about my mate's job more. Angelina wrote for the Fashion and Beauty section and when I saw her name under one article I wanted to tell the whole world that this girl is mine. And I was proud of her. Lina liked her job, she always went to work with a smile and I could hear how she laughed during lunchbreak with her coworkers in the near restaurant. Angelina glowed and it made me happy to know she enjoyed what she does for work. That she is not stuck with a job that bores her or her coworkers treat her bad. I had compelled some girls from magazine to tell me more about Angelina. I wanted to hear their honest opinion. And they all told me that my mate was a nice person to work with, she was kind and funny. Sweet. A team player. A great person to know and a nice friend. I hadn't heard anything bad about her, under my compulsion they couldn't lie. I was glad my mate was respected in her job.
I wondered what my life would have been if I had met Angelina sooner. If destiny had brought the lovely woman sooner into my life. If I had met Lina when she was 20 or even 18 years old. We would have been together for years...
I would have been her date for the prom, not that stupid boy I saw on some old photos in her Facebook profile. That tall blond, which was holding her hand as they stood in front of the restaurant. How long their relationship had been, or he was just her classmate? But still my mate looked so amazing in that blue dress and I so wished I had been next to her that day. Not just as boyfriend, but because I was happy for her. I would have been happy with all of her successes. I would have clapped so loud when Angelina would get her diploma at the graduation. I would celebrated her every achievement with so much joy.
Selfishly I wanted to have been Lina's first boyfriend, her first kiss. Her first love. She wouldn't need any other man in her life. Besides I was made for her, anyone else would only cause her grief. No one else could give Angelina the love she deserved. A mate for my kind was not only a lover, but a best friend, the most valuable person in our world. Unbreakable bond, total devotion and honesty.
And the thought that I might lose this had caused me to kiss Angelina. I didn't mean to do it, but I lost the battle with my self-control when I saw how sad were my mate's green eyes. I had promised not to touch her, but the urge got too strong and I just gave in. I gave in to the temptation.
I certainly wasn't prepared for my first kiss with Angelina. I had dreamed of this moment so many times during those months , but still I was unprepared for the storm of emotions that stirred inside of me when our lips touched. I had kissed so many women in my life. I had shared my bed with so many , but still the touch of Lina's lips was the most pleasant feeling I had ever felt. Like it was really my first kiss. The only kiss that mattered. It erased completely all of the women I had been with through the centuries.
Angelina's lips were as sweet as I had imagined them to be. Sweet and so mine. Sweet like honey, warm like fire. They were just perfect. I was drank of the taste of my darling's lips. This could be my drug, I thought as I pulled the lovely woman in my arms. Her taste was intoxicating and sweet like the finest brand of wine. God help me, but the taste was so, so addictive. Angelina was addictive. Everything about her was pulling me in like a magnet. Her hair, her smile, her voice. The way her curly hair felt between my fingers, how warm her body was, how she just felt right into my arms. It made me so dizzy with happiness. I craved to have this happiness in my life forever. I desperately craved to make Angelina happy and to be the reason she smiles.
But then Lina began to try to break free from my arms, and that sobered me up. Like dazed I broke the kiss. What have I done?! I broke Lina's trust! I fought against the tempting urge to kiss my mate again, to pick her up in my arms , take her to my bed and show her how much I adored her. To give her all of me and to have all of her. To taste her blood , this sweet , tempting me melody which I felt under my fingers. The temptation was too strong, but the realization that if I give in, Angelina will hate me forever, cleared my mind. No, I already broke my promise by kissing her, anything else would be a terrible mistake. And I couldn't afford to make mistakes with this woman. My heart, my mind, my soul, my whole being didn't want to hurt this beautiful creature. My wonderful angel. An angel that some god sent me to show me that maybe I was still a good person. That no matter my crimes, the bloodsheds, all the terrible things I had done , I was good enough for a woman like Angelina. That I deserved to be happy and loved.
Funny, as a kid , I often prayed for an angel to come and save me from the hunger, poverty, bad life. But since I grew up , I stopped hoping. I had ruined my life badly enough and I didn't deserve kindness and to be rescued. Who would want to save a thief? A criminal? And a vampire who enjoys to kill? But now my destiny was a lovely woman with a name like an angel and the kindest smile I had ever seen. I only had to prove her and myself that I was still worth rescuing.
# # #
Angelina's POV
The kiss felt like it lasted a lifetime. Christian's lips were so warm, he was kissing me like I was some precious object. Like he was afraid I would disappear from his arms or that someone will take me away. His hand was buried in my hair and the touch was so nice, that it made me dizzy.
I had never been kissed like this in my life before. For a second it was so good, so tempting to give in, but then the reality made me open my eyes wide. I was abducted by some stranger, a vampire, and now he was kissing me against my will. There was no romance in this, no matter how sweet the kiss was. I tried to move and Christian broke the kiss, sensing my discomfort. He didn't let go of me, his hand continued to caress my hair. His eyes were moving with longing from my hair to my eyes and lips. The thought that he was probably trying to keep this memory in his mind as long as possible, sobered me up a bit.
'' Angelina, I…''- The dark-haired man whispered , his lips inches from mine. I managed to gather my strength to push Christian off me. He let me go. I guess that the followed slap didn't surprise him. Christian didn't even flinch when I slapped him, he didn't even made an attempt to grab my wrist or to back away. He just let me do it.
I waited , scared, what would happen next. I was expecting everything- Christian to yell at me, to hurt me. To hit me back, to just do something. We were both staring at each other. Christian was looking at me like I was some scared animal, and he seemed to wait for my reaction, like I waited for his.
'' Darling, I …''- Christian swallowed hard. His hand reached for mine, maybe to calm me down, but seeing how that would only make things worse, Christian clenched it into fist.-'' Angelina, I am sorry for kissing you. I know I promised you that I won't touch you, and now I have broken that promise.''- He seemed really guilty.–'' But you being so close to me… I lost control…''- Christian looked down , ashamed to meet my eyes.-'' You are everything I never knew I needed in my life…. I am so sorry that I lost control..''
'' Stop it!''- My knees buckled and managed to sit on one of the chairs, before I faint. My abductor took some steps towards me but stopped before he could actually touch me. Silently I thanked him for that. I certainly didn't want Christian to help me sit or to pick me up in his arms and to place me to lay somewhere. –'' Just stop, please!''- I touched my lips, remembering his kiss. I wished I could erase it. I wished I could erase everything since last night.
'' Angelina?''- I looked at Christian and he had knelt in front of me. He wanted to touch me, to calm me, but he was restraining himself. The concern, the nervousness in his brown eyes was more than I could take right now.
'' Did you really think that after telling me what a great hero you have been , you can have the right to kiss me?!''- I pushed him roughly. My emotions were clouding my clear judgment again. I knew this was wrong, brave, but I just couldn't stop myself. I shouldn't provoke him.-''That you have earned it? ''- My hands were shaking.-'' You seem to think that my sole purpose in life was to find you and to be with you. Do you even realize how wrong that sounds? That I am some sort of mindless girl, which only exists to make you whole?''- I knew I was saying much more than I should have. I knew I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown and my words didn't make much sense. I lost the little control I had manage to save so far.–'' That I don't have a free will about which one I should be with?''- I saw tears in his eyes, and part of me was glad I had succeeded in hurting him. The other part was sorry I had caused another person sadness. This was absolute madness! This was my abductor, I shouldn't pity him! But maybe I was too good not to care ever a little, I thought with bitterness. Great! Or maybe I was starting to go crazy. I covered my mouth , afraid that my words might cause Christian to hurt me. I again forgot my plan to be polite, to act kind so I could earn his trust and then attack him and try to escape. I was drained emotionally, I really was. I had always thought I was strong , but now I realized how weak I felt and that was killing me.
'' Angelina, I…''- The dark-haired man lifted his head and met my eyes. He wanted to reach for me, maybe to take my hand, to offer me comfort, I could clearly see that in his eyes and face. –'' If I say how sorry I am in every language I know, it still won't be enough. I know last night was a huge mistake and I shouldn't have put you through this.''- Christian ran a hand through his hair.-'' You are wrong about the other things you said. I don't think you are some sort of doll, made for me. I don't think you were born because I needed you in my life. You are unique, Angelina. It will sound wrong to you, but I am proud of what you are.''- I looked at him with disbelief. Proud? What was this? Another trick to make me open up to him?-'' I am so glad that you didn't have the life I had as a human. That you grew up happy, loved and never suffered from hunger, poverty and bad choices. Sometimes through the centuries I had often thought my mate would have the same fate as me, and I now I am so ridiculously happy I was wrong about that.''- Christian moved a little closer to me, but he remained kneeling. -'' I am so happy you never had the life I did.''-He sighed.-'' I messed up so badly and you are right to feel the way that you do and say the things you did. So, please, don't think I will hurt you now. I won't.''- The look in his eyes was so broken, so sad, that it took my breath away for a second. Maybe I was just too good, too kind, but seeing another person sad made me feel bad. Every part of me knew I shouldn't feel that way, but I just did. Was this another mind trick? To provoke my pity? If Christian had acted just like I had expected him he would by hitting me, drinking my blood or forcing himself upon me, I wouldn't be surprised. I would have tried to put up a fight, but his reaction would made sense. But this strange display of shame, of wanting to calm me down- that was so confusing.
''You already broke one promise.''- I saw how hard he swallowed when his eyes met mine again. I felt like I was slowly spiraling into madness. This was draining me so, so much. I stood up, and Christian rose up too. I eyed the door, but I feared I won't reach it fast enough.-'' If you want to have my body, my blood, just take them. But please, don't try to make me believe in this….''-my vision became blurry and I swayed on my feet. Black dots swam before my eyes. No, not now!
'' Angelina!''- Christian caught me in his arms as the world became dark.
# # #
I struggled to open my eyes, they felt so heavy. I groaned. My head span as I looked around. I was in Christian's bedroom, on his bed. And I was alone. What happened? I ran fingers through my hair as my mind tried to replay the previous moments. The lunch. The kiss and how I had fainted like some sort of a weak woman from a romance novel. The ones I had read as a teenager and wondered how exactly did these women faint so much when in danger? I was disgusted by my reaction, I wished I had been stronger. I hated how my body betrayed me. The stress , the fear had finally caught up to me. I should have ran pass Christian and try to reach the front door. I should have just ran. But instead I fainted like some sort of weak woman and I was so angry . When I had watched so many thrillers about killers, abductions and such, I often was angry with the character for not doing this or that. But real life is not like movie. You think you can react better in a certain situation, you can be stronger, smarter. But sadly, when you are placed in the same situation, you realize how unprepared you are really. I was not only abducted, but from a supernatural being, who seemed to believe in destiny and lovers for life. Sweet, romantic fantasy so he can be happy. And also maybe that fitted some weird, sadistic vampire urge. Maybe Christian was hoping I will believe his unending love confessions and just surrender to his passion and let him do anything he wants. I still didn't get why my consent mattered or why was he trying so hard to make me believe. Just get it over with! It would be a lot easier to fight if my abductor acts like a raging beast, not this shy, concerned guy in front of his crush. It was scarier and unpredictable. It scared me to death. No wonder why I fainted, I have been so stressed out, so ready for him to attack me, that it got too much all of sudden. Like a maiden I fell into the vampire's awaiting arms. Lovely.
So Christian must have carried me here to lay on something softer than the sofa. But why leave me alone? I would have expected him to be here, to sit beside me in the bed. Or to lay next to me and touch me. But instead my abductor brought me to his bed, covered me and left me to rest like he really cared about my wellbeing. This man was so confusing and so insane! Why this sick fantasy? Why everything? I groaned as I sat down.
'' I hope you feel better, you scared me a lot.''- Christian entered, I hadn't heard him come in. Vampires were often described as silent and it was very creepy how he had entered the room without me hearing his steps. He smiled kindly to me but remained near the door with his hand on the doorknob as if he was afraid to enter his own bedroom so I don't get more upset.
''I don't have a habit of fainting.''- I said through teeth as I got up from the bed. I looked around for something to hit him with, if he comes closer enough. Maybe Christian had brought me here so he could sleep with me. Compel me to do it. The bed would make it more comfortable. And romantic for his sick fantasy. I paled just thinking about it.
'' I am sorry that everything got too much for you, Angelina''- Christian saw how tense I was and he risked a few steps closer.-'' This certainly wasn't the way I had imagined our first meeting would go. I wanted so many times to get your attention with some pick-up line or to buy you a drink. Or to ask what time is it. But I guess I was a coward. I was scared to grab my chance of happiness because I knew I could lose it. ''- I swallowed hard. –'' I know I owe you so much explanation, Angelina, and I will start now. A mate for my kind is also a best friend and this bond requires complete honesty. So , you can ask me anything you want and I will answer.''- I blinked, confused. Best friend? Another way to trick me? Or this guy was so lonely that he needs somebody to talk to? I found it hard to believe that a guy that looking was that desperate for companion. But I decided to play his game, for now.
'' Where are we?''- The first question that came to my mind. It was a very risky one, I doubted Christian will tell me the location. But I wanted to hear how will he answer and if . And I tried not to show my surprise when the vampire told me the name of one village near my town. So I had been right! I wasn't that far from home!
'' I have been living here for 8 years now, it's relaxing and quiet. And the town is close.–'' He smiled fondly at me –'''Like something had driven me here, the name of the town sounded right to me. But I preferred to live outside it.''- Just the thought that a creature like him had been living so near my town, had made me nauseous. I tried not to imagine all the dead bodies that guy had left. I tried not imagine how many like him I had passed by on the street. –'' I traveled a lot , but this place always brought me back. I had so many chances to move somewhere else, but it didn't feel right. Now I know why.''- Christian rubbed shyly his neck. I hoped Christian wouldn't say that his heart had pointed him to my town and some unexplained force had stopped him from selling this house and just go and live somewhere else. It would sound too romantic. I could understand that if you live long enough somewhere it is hard to imagine to change place. But certainly not because the love of your life lives there and you can't leave because of some magic and destiny. I wasn't a little girl anymore, I don't believe in fairytales.
'' Why did you decide to … approach me just last night?''- I was about to say that the took me, abducted me, but I quickly used a safer word to describe what happened last night. Although it was a really drugging and abduction, we both knew it, but still for the sake of this talk I tried to make it sound less bad. And I didn't want to cause his anger. But that really bothered me.-'' You have known me for months, so why now?''- Christian had so many chances to take me just any other day. When I go and leave work, in the store. He could just break into my home . What about last night made it so special or it was just on whim?
'' I hadn't planned it to be that specific day.''- Christian went to the window and leaned his back on the wall. –'' I haven't planned any of the followed things.''-He sighed and placed hands in his pockets. - '' As I said before, I was a coward. I had so many chances to introduce myself and I wasted them all. ''- He rubbed shyly his neck.-'' But the urge to get close to you was getting more and more consuming with each day, and it got harder for me to push it down. I don't know why I took you last night, Angelina.''- The look in those brown eyes was so heartbroken, that I swallowed hard. –'' You looked so happy, so excited for the Christmas holidays. I saw how you entered some stores and how you looked for gifts. It made me … sad.''- I knew that not everyone celebrated Christmas with big family dinner, lots of presents and holiday spirit. Many people were lonely on the holidays, or they don't have money to celebrate. Holidays often caused depression in some. Was Christian alone for Christmas? I shouldn't think about if my crazy abductor had company for the holidays or not. I shouldn't think of him as another sad and lonely person who doesn't have family, friends or love for Christmas. –'' Sad that I wasn't there with you to pick up presents or to decorate the Christmas tree. I wanted to be with you so much , and I guess that made me reckless so I …'''- He cleared his throat and for a moment the brown color in his eyes turned red again and I took a step back. Seeing that , Christian closed his eyes and lowered his head.-'' I hadn't planned to sedate you, but you would have awoken sooner if I had simply influenced you to. Vampire compulsion usually can put someone to sleep for 2-3 hours. I knew I had scared you when I grabbed you like a total creep on the street, Lina, and I thought that if you sleep longer, I could come up with a way to make this better.''- He chuckled and looked at me, his eyes were back to normal.-'' I had messed up so much, and I stupidly thought that some extra hours would help me find how to fix this mess.''- I didn't dare ask why then he was carrying sedatives, or he kept some in his car or jacket just in case he finds some pretty woman? From the way Christian looked away from me with guilt, made me think he knew what I didn't dare ask. I certainly didn't want to anger him, and he didn't seem to want to tell me what he was doing with this sedative.
'' You…''- I swallowed trying to sound calmer than I was feeling. I looked towards the door, but that didn't go unnoticed by my abductor . I knew if I had tried to run, he would catch me. So I hugged my middle and took a deep breath.-''You have so many things I like in here.-'' Well, that was a nicer way to describe that my stalker had my favorite biscuits, tea flavor, the pancake and the wonderful lasagna. Clothes that would fit me , clothes that I liked. I understood that was a sick attempt to earn my affections.
'' Yes.''- Christian risked a step towards me, but this time I didn't move. –'' As I got to know you more, I wanted to feel closer to you, Angelina. To know what a woman my mate is. I know how all of this seems, darling, I know. I just couldn't stop.''- He lifted his hand, maybe to caress my cheek or hair, but he quickly put it his pocket.-''Pure madness, caused by my cowardice to introduce myself to you. To let you near me just to see you run when you find out my secret. I wanted so many times to send you flowers when you work. Huge bouquets or red and white roses with love poems. Or maybe to sing under your window some night.''- I must have given him a weird look, because Christian laughed softly and explained.-'' I can sing very good, Angelina. I could since I was a kid. Actually I was a singer for some years last century, it is a great pleasure of mine.''- Great, now to add to his great boyfriend image the fact that he sings. I liked men that could sing or play some instrument. Not that I would actually tell Christian that. And I could really picture him singing, his voice was really nice. But that didn't change the fact the he was insane, and above all a vampire that could kill me. What about me made me this guy's choice of a victim? Because I was pretty and single? Because my blood smelt good? Because I looked weak? What would have happened if I had a husband and kids? Would Christian have killed them and take me? Or he would have moved on to a single woman? I was exhausted. –'' I enjoy writing songs. I have written some for you actually.''- It was so romantic to have some guy write a poem or a song for you, but that coming from a vampire, who had stalked you for months, sounded chilling and creepy. –'' I know all of this scares you, darling. It scares me too, because no matter how much I had fought against you being my destiny, I lost. And it scares me because you have power over me.-'' The dark-haired vampire ran a hand through his hair, Power. What power! I was at his mercy, not the other way around!-''You got under my skin and into my frozen heart so quickly that I didn't even realize it before it was too late. And the scariest thing is that I don't care anymore, you became part of my soul.''- I sighed deeply.
'' So what happens now? ''- I eyed him with caution. If the vampire planned to sleep with me, let him try. I would fight him as best as I could. I would try to stop him from drinking my blood as best as I could. I would use all of my strength to fight him. Just I couldn't hear any more of this romantic, sweet lies. Christian had delusions, I didn't.
'' I will make this better, darling. When you asked me about your work and if I would let you keep it, I realized how badly I messed up. Angelina, you will return to your life. ''- I swayed on my feet, too shocked to say something.-'' You are the reason for me to live, believe it not. Making you sad is painful for me. Like literal pain, which causes my heart to bleed. So I will take you back home soon. ''- He took my hands gently in his.-'' I am only asking if you can give me chance to show you I am right for you, angel. ''- I was too stunned to speak. Was this another trick? If Christian really drives me home, that didn't mean he would leave me alone. He would continue to stalk me. He would continue to try to become my boyfriend. I couldn't tell the police. How could I explain that a 400 years old vampire was following me because I was his destined love? They would think I was mental or joking! I could try to buy a gun, but I couldn't shoot …I was stuck with Christian, I would still be his prisoner. He would just give me some fake sense of freedom, but really he would have all the power again. I could try to leave the city, the country, but Christian would follow me. I was again doomed.-'' Angelina, will you let me prove you that I am good?''- He was waiting for my answer. I simply nodded, I couldn't form words right now. Christian's smile was so warm, he seemed really happy he could date me. I sealed my fate, but I really didn't have a choice. None at all. But I would try to think of something. My life depended on it.
