Small event.
I tugged at the neck of my tuxedo while I craned my neck at the Zelrecht-damned basilica that Daddy-in-law rented for this event.
Plenty of shooting positions, not enough people to man all the exits.
I looked over the tables full of food, even now the servants were bringing EVEN MORE FOOD.
Unattended, you could pour a keg of poison on them with time to spare.
My ramblings made me mount in despair, the endless possibilities wreaking havoc on my strained sanity.
The Einzbern's dolls are not half bad, far more pleasant company than those snobs.

One of the guests tried to catch my attention discreetly, but when that didn't work out, they sent one of their goons.
-"My master would like to have a word, if you would."

I checked my watch, Rin wouldn't be here for another half an hour at best.
-"Sure, lead on."

The trained monkey did as told, his tux straining to hold his immense bulk. We arrived at a table staffed by an old codger who reeked of corruption, like a warmed corpse. On his side was ...
-"Shinji?"

Lo and behold, the blue-haired menace was there. His ugly mug seemed awfully pleased, which did not add up. I had known that he had been carrying a flame for Rin since we were ankle-bitters.
He will try to fuck this up.
Good Mini Shirou was holding a rolled-up newspaper and wasn't afraid of using it. Bad Shiriou was giving his Trident of Approval (TM).

He raised a flute of champagne and smiled, entirely too happy by half.
-"Well well well, the fake janitor takes the prize. I'm going to be the bigger man and bury the hatchet, hopefully, we can put the past behind us."

The mummified corpse spoke, its trap unleashing an assault of rotten skunks who ate too many enchiladas. I could feel my eyes begin to water even if I was maintaining a healthy distance. His rheumy beady eyes crinkled with glee.
-"What an unexpected pleasure to enjoy this covenant between two souls in such a holy place."
His gnarly fingers drummed over his cane.
"Why, one would call this grand basilica the holy of holies...would you not?"

Another one who bites. This one thinks we are after the Ark of the Covenant.
Instead of correcting him, negating the info or spouting more nonsense...I made a show of looking around and then put a finger over my lips.
-"Enjoy the lobster, I have on good authority that it is...heavenly."

Both Matous preyed on that word and raised their glasses. I had no stomach to endure the stench and excused myself.

Shinji wouldn't have any of that.
-"Before you go, I know you are a mongrel used to hard labour, but the fair Rin would suffer under the yoke of this alien sun."
He handed me a ...pot of sunscreen?
"Her porcelain skin is a national treasure, please, make sure she takes good care of it."

Could be worse.
I took the proffered gift and continued doing my rounds around the guests. The next and the next...it came as a flurry of names and faces. The most remarkable was the Einzbern's table. Old man Atch himself was the epitome of Magus-ness. More powerful, more rigid and stuck in time than any other poser, the head of the Einzbern's was among our usual clients.
-"Jubstacheit, care to introduce me to these fine ladies?"

His creations were people to me, even if they weren't people to him, nor to themselves. He had the good grace of humouring me without arguing first.
-"Leysritt and Sella, this is is your prospective new master. The young weapon, born of fire and thunder."
Leysritt was ...how should I put it as a soon to be married man?... She was dressed as a maid that could carry her own pillows. Large pillows. While her counterpart was slimmer, her eyes shone with their own light. Both bowed low and spoke at once.
-"It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, my lord." "Hiya, master Shiriou."

Atch clicked his tongue in displeasure.
-"That one came out wrong. I do not know where I made the mistake, but it irks me to have two different results with the same reagents, the same process at the same time."

Sella pouted as only a sulking child could.
-"Master is a meanie."
She hiccuped and she became misty-eyed.

I let go of the sunscreen pot over the table and embraced her, patting her head as you would a child's. I eyed the old Magus and played with the line, to see if he would take the bait.
-"There there...He didn't mean it, I am sure you are an angel."

Jubstacheit von Einzbern, head of Germany premier Magi Clan, smiled. And let me tell you, it spooked the bejeesus outta me. The man NEVER smiles.
-"I eagerly await to hear the choir."

Hook, line and sinker.

-"I feel dizzy...and is it hot ...oh my..."
We turned around and found that while we played with veiled words with the old man, Leysritt helped herself with the sunscreen. She was panting and fanning herself. Her eyes rolled back and she dropped to the floor.

With the care only a father would show, the old man cradled her head on his knee and called her name. Her eyes started moving erratically, out of focus.

The white-haired Magus waved his hand over the pot of cream.
-"This concoction, who gave it to you? I know you are incapable of creating it on your own."

I was about to reply when Leysritt zoomed across the floor and glued herself to Shinji. She pressed a hand to his chest and purred.
-"Hi there. What say you if I try to pick the bouquet?"