Chapter 18: Routine
Author's Note: I'm so sorry for the delay in getting this chapter out. I became a year older, went to music festival where I got dreadfully sunburnt, and had to do life for a bit. I'm hoping the next chapter will be out a bit quicker than this one :)
On Wednesday, a hair off midnight, fervid knocking had rapped against the girls' dormitory door. Bleary with sleep, Katherine had sat up in her bed as the door flung open.
Professor McGonagall stepped through; oil lamp in hand, draped in tartan pyjama robes, her hair, for once, out of her tight black bun.
The lamps in the room were magically brought to life with a wave of the witch's hand, and all the girls glimpsed each other in their beds; each as shell-shocked, blurred, and barely lit as one another. Teachers never usually visited the dormitories…
Something cold had gripped Katherine by the intestines – hard – and something equally as unpleasant crawled up the back of her throat…
"Miss MacDonald," came McGonagall's softened brogue, her eyes the size of galleons, "Your father has just been admitted to St. Mungo's. Your cousin is waiting the Headmaster's office to take you to be with your family."
Katherine only heard snippets of their Head of house's instructions to Mary, 'leave your trunk' and 'you'll be excused from lessons'… Instead of the clack of her boots, came the shuffle of the stern witch's slippers as she ushered Mary out, cloaked in her pink night gown.
Just like that, Mary was gone.
She had vanished into the dark stairwell, and the door closed behind her crisply. The light drumming hum of the wood heater in the centre of the dormitory was then the only noise.
Silently, the girls stayed sat up in their beds; suddenly, and surely, awake. Sleep, however, crept back around the edges of their consciousness as the lamps began to dim once more.
Marlene was the one to break the silence, saying, quietly, "That means he's okay, right?"
No one had an answer, though collectively they all wished it to be the case. They sat silently once more in the echo of her words.
Only as the clock ticked closer to one, did they give up their unsaid vigil, full of wondering – of helplessness. Slowly, they slid back down under their blankets, and the night claimed the dormitory back once more.
Katherine's eyes settled on her nightstand, and the framed photograph she had received for Christmas. Her father smiled over her in her bed, not even a year older than she was right at that moment. The last thing she saw before she closed her eyes were his; kind and blue.
A tear rolled over her cheek and onto the pillow without warning.
That night, for the first time properly, Katherine mourned her father. For he would never come home.
The rest of the week passed like glue.
When writing the date, Katherine kept having to scribble her quill (and wreck her parchment) as she kept writing '75' by mistake.
Remus ducked his head by hers, keeping an eye on McGonagall as she roved the desks, "Katherine?"
"Yeah?" she said, absentmindedly, pushing her hair behind her ears and huffing as it sprang back against the side of her cheek. She feared he might be about to point out a large, horrible ink blotch she had smudged on her face.
He tapped his wand to her parchment, to the blotch, "Evanesco."
Receding into the parchment, the incorrect date vanished completely from sight.
"Oh," –
Katherine could not believe she had forgotten herself like that. Still, months later, she found her first instincts were always muggle –
"I forgot I could do that now…"
Remus stretched his arms, yawning quietly, and rested a hand on the back of her chair. He leant by her face with a kind, Remus Lupin smile.
"Happens to the best of us."
Remus had taken to sitting beside Katherine in classes before the Christmas break and was, to Katherine's surprise and girlish delight, continuing the streak through the second week of January. The novelty had seemed to have worn off to everyone else, however, and they no longer received odd looks.
With Remus around so much, Peter seemed more comfortable approaching Katherine, another very new development.
After class, he broke away from the other boys to sidle up beside Remus and Katherine, "Have you heard from Mary?"
James and Black's conversation trailed off as they all spilt out into the hallway; unabashedly listening in.
Everyone did when talk of Mary cropped up. Her sudden disappearance had sparked rumours around the school, that Katherine and the other girls did their best to correct whenever possible. without divulging too much.
"No, I wasn't sure if I should owl. She might want time with her family." said Katherine, shrugging, more than a little unsure herself what the right thing would be. McGonagall had told the girls she would back sooner rather than later after class earlier in the week.
Peter nodded and said, mostly to himself, "Right, right…"
"I'll tell you as soon as I do – hear something, that is." said Katherine in offering, recognising how out of sorts the boy was.
Remus piped up beside her, nudging Peter with a reassuring grin, "Yeah, of course she will, mate."
Peter seemed to brighten a bit.
"Yeah. Yeah, alright," said Peter, lifting his hand in farewell as he turned to leave, "Thanks – see you guys."
Katherine and Remus walked on, alone. If you didn't count Black and James trailing behind.
"I have to head to hospital wing after lunch," said Remus, lightly, turning to her with a tight smile, "I won't be back in lessons for the rest of the day."
Katherine frowned, but thought quickly, "I can come visit you?"
Black and James' conversation behind them noticeably waned.
Katherine felt a little flushed, wondering if perhaps she had overstepped…
"It won't be any fun, I promise you," said Remus, shaking his head with a little smile. He re-gripped the strap of his bookbag across his chest, "You and the girls can do fun stuff… girl stuff?"
Katherine found his loss at what they girls did amusing, and terribly endearing.
Remus laughed with her – at himself, before ruffling the back of his hair. He nudged her arm lightly as they walked.
"I just thought you ought to know."
That afternoon, news got back to the common room that Andrew Spinnet had been injured at training – rather heinously too, if James Potter's grandiose mimicry of the boy's injuries were anything to go by when regaling everyone in Gryffindor Tower of the incident.
He and Black had helped Fabian take the boy to the hospital wing, Black joking he 'got to carry the left foot'. Lily had glared murderously as a few first years squealed and paled.
The incident, which grew stranger and more horrific each time Katherine heard it around the castle, overshadowed Mary's return to school the following week.
Katherine had walked into the dormitory one afternoon, the first back that day, and paused.
The empty bed in the dormitory, was no longer so. There was Mary; laying on her bed, her legs up against the wall, once again.
Katherine paused, unsure if it was a mirage she conjured up in missing her friend, and then crossed to her own bed. She placed down her bookbag and stepped experimentally to her own bed, keeping an eye on her friend. Toeing off her shoes, Katherine eased down onto her own bed, atop the covers, and set her own legs up against the wall, mirroring Mary.
She could not say for how long they sat like that.
Finally, Katherine asked, carefully, "Everything… will be okay?"
"It will be, yeah." said Mary slowly, turning her head, to give the slightest of smiles, before looking back to the ceiling.
Katherine nodded, swallowing, and said, trying for a hopeful tone, "That's good."
"Hey, Katherine?"
"Yeah?"
"I've got a date with Peter – at Puddifoots – this weekend."
The more things changed, the more they stayed the same.
At the weekend, Remus stood outside of Madame Puddifoots by his shorter friend in his blue nylon bomber jacket.
Like clockwork.
At his sweet "Hello." and with one glimpse of his mussed hair, lined eyes, and woolly socks, Katherine experienced an unexpected rush of affection for Remus Lupin.
Ahead, Peter opened the door to the shop off the high street, Mary behind him, propping open the door for Katherine, and Remus trailing behind her.
The entire establishment was covered with bows and was beyond cramped. The windows steamed up and the tables and chairs were all claimed by teenagers holding hands or kissing over cups of tea and coffee. A bell over the door announced customers in a tuneful tinkle.
The round tables were decorated with lacy napkins and china sugar bowls, and cramped up the small shop to the point that Madame Puddifoot has great difficulty in moving in between tables to serve the couples.
Katherine turned to Remus, to see if it was as gaudy as she thought it was, when she saw that he was looking even paler than when she'd met him outside. Katherine thought it had nothing to do with the interior, however. She had been pleased to see him, as he'd been in and out of lessons all week. Despite his pallor, she thought he certainly looked less gaunt than usual…
"Are you alright?" whispered Katherine, leaning her arm against his and leant into whisper, the memory of his hospital wing visit fresh in mind, "Do you not feel well? We can go back up to the castle –"
"No – no…" rushed Remus, smiling modestly, a little sheepishly, and he said as he looked around the tea shop, "I've never really done an 'afternoon tea' before."
"No one here really knows what their doing either, you know," she said, remembering her boarding school days in London, "They're too worried about what they're doing to worry about what you are. That's the secret."
"This way, dears…" said Madame Puddifoot, waving them to two little tables, only two seats a piece, on a raised dais by the back windows.
Around them, as they navigated the tables, Katherine spied many people proving her words to Remus to be correct. There were pinkies lifted, spoons clanking loudly against porcelain, people sandwiching their scones they had loaded with jam and cream…
Not to mention, everyone was wearing jeans and jumpers; the usual garb of teenagers, as it were…
"I want to do it proper." said Remus quietly, skirting around a table.
Katherine began unlooping her scarf as they closed in on their designated table, "I can talk you through it. If you like?"
Remus paused by his allocated chair and eyed her for moment.
"I'll admit I forgot you er… you must do this stuff all the time." said Remus, pulling his arms out of the sleeves of his bomber jacket.
Katherine eyed the place settings, feeling her spine relax, and said softly, "Not for some time."
As they took off their woolly hats, and pulled out their chairs, Katherine quietly instructed Remus on the protocol.
"May I ask after your tea preferences, dears?" asked Madame Puddifoot, stopping by their table and flattening her apron.
She found Remus looking to her expectantly.
She felt, oddly, in her element, fully, for the first time in a long time, "Black, thank you, Madame Puddifoot."
Madame Puddifoot bowed her head and bustled off to prepare the teapot. All the while, a three-tiered dish floated over, loaded with food.
Around Remus' head, came a hovering teapot with a gentle plume of steam rising from the spout.
"Enjoy, dears." sang Madame Puddifoot as she passed the table on her way to tend to other customers.
The steam from Peter and Mary's teapot wafted over, and Katherine felt a smidgeon of nausea creep in. Chamomile. She suddenly wasn't sure if she would be able to stomach the sandwiches…
With innocently gleaming eyes, Remus made a production of pouring the tea. The scent of the black tea replaced the chamomile, and Katherine felt immediately better.
Katherine purposely shuffled in her seat, sitting up straight – a que that Remus followed, carefully placing his hands, but not his elbows, on the table. They met eyes as they took thoughtful, pretentious sips from their cups. Both were barely containing their laughter.
Remus paused between sips, and with a boyish grin said, "Splendid blend."
"Yes, pleasantly invigorating, I would say." returned Katherine, placing her cup down on its saucer with a gentle CLING of porcelain.
Remus carried on their charade, "Not too strong."
"I wonder… Is that the Darjeeling variety I detect?" goaded Katherine, gently lifting the cup to her nose anew.
Remus gave a pompous look of agreement, blinking, "Oh, it positively must be."
It was hardly the affair as taxing on one's nerves as Mary had warned it would be. Maybe, Katherine mused, that might have only been because she was with Remus, however...
Glancing over, Peter and Mary were visibly anxious; dropping spoons, and self-consciously nibbling on sandwiches.
Remus and Katherine quietly ate, in silent agreement that they were to listen to the blunders around them. They would share amused glances over their teacups as they sipped at the things they overheard –
"What are your thoughts on, uh, marmalade?"
"Do you want some?"
"Only if you do!"
Remus had to cough to cover a snort of laughter.
Katherine felt in good humour as she resumed their charade, to pretend they hadn't been listening as Sue Bond and her date glanced over, "Remus, would you care for some clotted cream?"
Remus blinked in a way that reminded Katherine of Black –
"Oh, if it needed me." he said, mirthfully.
It felt awfully as if they were living in a Monty Python skit, as they horsed around with the etiquette well into late morning. There were only a trio of uneaten sandwiches, a couple of scones, and absolutely no crumbs of sweets left on the three-tiered dish as they finally finished the pot of tea.
"Are you done?" asked Katherine, as she laid her utensils carefully against her saucer.
Remus lifted his napkin from his lap and placed it beside his saucer, "Yes, you?"
Katherine nodded, but hesitated, glancing to where Peter and Mary still sipped their tea.
"Shall we wait for them?" asked Remus, his eyes following hers.
Katherine nodded again, but felt a pang in her bladder, "Oh, I need to excuse myself to the bathroom a moment while we do that. Do you…?"
"No, I'll wait here." said Remus, with a polite smile and shake of his head.
Katherine nodded and stood, and carefully weaved between the tables to the regularly frequented doors in the back of the establishment. Being the only one leaving for the toilet always felt rude for some reason…
When she returned, Peter and Mary had vanished – as was their modus operandi.
Remus was pulling on his blue jacket, and offered a patient look of inquiry, "Ready?"
Katherine, breathless from her walk, smiled, then glanced around for a register of some sort, "Yes, do we have to –"
"Peter and Mary shouted us for coming along with them." said Remus, with a quick smile, holding out her scarf.
"That's lovely of them," said Katherine absentmindedly as she accepted her scarf and looped it around her neck, "Oh – there they are – by the door."
Plonking her woolly hat atop her head, she weaved between the tables, hoping to catch the pair.
Remus trailed behind, and it meant Katherine reached the door first. She paused before opening herself – it always felt odd to do it herself. Should she wait for him to do it? He was ill, would he even think to…?
Peter straightened his jacket, glancing between the group, "We're going to go for a walk…"
The subtext was obvious. Katherine and Remus were to gracefully disappear.
"Right," said Remus, a hand going to straighten his woolly hat. He glanced down to Katherine placing a hand across the middle of her shoulder blades, "We'll er, get on with our day then."
Mary waved with an apologetic smile, "See you later."
Together, Remus and Katherine watched aimlessly as Peter and Mary slipped away down the high street in a crowd of students.
Katherine squinted against the snow, still watching after where they disappeared from, "I'll admit it, I don't have plans."
A chuckle sounded beside her.
"Neither do I," said Remus, his hand dropping from her back. He stepped back, nodding to the muggle interest store, his arm proffered, "Come on, ye' ole faithful awaits."
It had been a deceptively decent day – looking warmer than it was. Katherine had only pulled on a jumper, instead of adding a jacket. It was getting colder however, and the muggle interest shop was a warm refuge against the biting breeze of mid-January.
Like last time, the pair drifted to the record selection. In the front was a loud looking sticker, 'NEW IN!'. Behind it was a newly familiar band's logo. Katherine's hands immediately reached for it.
Fleetwood Mac's self-titled album had come out in back '75, though Katherine had been unable to listen to it. Until then.
She was to find, as she self-consciously placed it on the record player in the store, that there was not a single weak song on either side of the record.
Through Monday Morning, Warm Ways, and Blue Letter, Katherine had leafed through the lyric insert, enamoured. Every song instantly became her favourite the moment it started playing. It would be the fourth song on the first side of the album, that would give Katherine pause –
Rhiannon rings like a bell through the night
And wouldn't you love to love her?
By the end of the song, Katherine was sure of one thing. She wanted to be Rhiannon. She had to show this to Lily, was her second thought.
Even Remus had wandered over, like it was some sort of siren song, unable to help himself, seemingly. Nodding their heads, eyes glued to the spinning record like it was some hypnotic agent, then even began swaying where they stood.
When the soaring guitar picked up, Remus even – surprising Katherine – took her hand and gave her a playful twirl.
The shopkeeper occasionally glanced over. Katherine was worried they were annoying the wizard, but when it came time for the record to fizzle, he must have flicked his wand and magically done it for them.
I took my love, I took it down
I climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills
'Til the landslide brought me down
The light-heartedness left them as Landslide bloomed through the room –
Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changin' ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Well, I've been afraid of changin'
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I'm getting older too
DING! The swooshing of wind, and a chill, swept into the shop.
A few rowdy third years had bustled through, laughing, and heading for the muggle games on a table in the middle of the shop floor.
World Turning picked up, and Remus went back to browsing records beside her after shooting her a quick smile.
It was as the last song of the record, I'm So Afraid, faded that she noticed Remus scrubbing at his face and yawning.
"Should we head back to the castle, you reckon?" she asked.
Remus blinked, rubbing at his hairline, and then mussed his fluffy hair even further (still, it was neater than James'), "Yeah, it'd be good to sit down…"
She reverently touched the Fleetwood Mac album a few more times before turning her back on it as they pushed through the door and succumbed once more to the cold of the High Street.
"Lupin! – Spencer!"
Frank and Alice had happened to pass at the most opportune of moments, ice skates in hand. The two had plans to visit the frozen over pond on the edge of town, and Frank had scuppered Katherine and Remus' desires to head for the warmth of the castle with a jolly invitation of – "Why don't you two come along!"
Swayed by social nicety of not refusing the invitation, Katherine and Remus were swept along with the coupled-up pair.
Alice looped her arm through Katherine's, pulling her out in front, while the two boys trailed.
"Alice?"
"Hmm?"
"I've never ice skated in my life."
The paved path to the pond was as slippery as the first time Katherine had traversed it, and the four joined the dozens of students already on the ice. To her great surprise, Regulus zoomed past, skating with his hands clasped relaxingly behind his back, before skidding to a stop by Rabastan Lestrange. He smoothed his hair and rested his elbow against one of the many pillars dotted around the edge of the frozen pond.
Alice squatted by Katherine's feet where she sat on a bench, and did up the skates for her, before guiding Katherine – jelly ankled and all – onto the ice. Patiently, Alice walked backwards in her trainers and occasionally too sliding and skidding, her hands firmly in Katherine's.
Frank hovered by the edge of the pond, conversing with Remus where they both leant on a broad entrance pillar; Frank expertly shuffling his skates and keeping his balance while stationary.
Alice kept to edges of the pond and had advised Katherine to fall sideways onto the snow-packed grass in favour of the ice if she felt she was going to lose her balance completely.
Katherine, thankfully, wasn't the only learner there, a few seventh-year girls were wobbling and giggling around the ice ahead of them and pulling each other up when they inevitably fell.
The WHOOSH of other students passing around the inner unofficial 'track' of the oval pond chilled Katherine's neck. That's why she felt, more acutely, when warm fingers glanced her neck from behind, and her plait was flicked –
A group of boys – James and Black a part of them – had all sped past together, panting and laughing. James kept going, while Black did an impressive backwards loop around his brother, spraying the other Slytherin's with ice with a metallic SCRRRRPP, his arms swaying as he came to a stop and then dexterously started off again.
Alice glanced over Katherine's shoulder after imparting some reassuring praise of her progress.
"He's looking – Lupin."
Katherine didn't glance back, focusing on missing the divet in the ice she knew was coming in the next few metres, "In fear of me fracturing my bum from falling on it again, I'm sure."
Alice glanced back again, licking her lips before leaning closer to Katherine.
"Frank seems to think someone's said something to him – one of the other boys – apparently Lupin's in trouble for being around you so much."
Light with wonder at the implications of Alice's revelation, Katherine experimented with skating unassisted.
Alice encouraged her a little longer, before stepping off the pond as Frank called her over.
'Little shitehawk of a hole!' came a thick Irish cry, and one of the seventh-year girls caught Katherine's arm as she nearly fell. Katherine, granted, very nearly fell with her. A look of gratitude, and the girl let go of Katherine's arm, 'Thanks, love – you're not on your own, are you? You can skate with us!'
"Katherine!" came Remus' voice – curiously from behind, as he skated up with Frank's skates, it being already evident he was much better than her.
Katherine and the seventh-year girls – three of them from Slytherin and the others being elder Gryffindors – had stopped skating for a spell, all crowded by a pillar to lean on for a rest, feet slipping out from beneath them as they attempted to stay upright.
One of the girls, Jeanie, slipped, taking down one of the others, and scattering the rest away from the pillar, like fawns on unsteady legs –
Remus' arms came around Katherine's shoulders, holding her up while the other girls fell about the ice, laughing and moaning their sore bums. His arms relaxed into a looser hold, but remained wrapped around her like a warm scarf.
"Hello." he said through breathy laughter, his chest flush against her shoulders.
Side by side, they continued on skating after Katherine waved goodbye to the seventh-year girls, Remus clearly slowing his pace to stay with her. After a few circles, Katherine was struggling to lug her feet into a forward glide with the burgeoning blisters she felt on her toes.
"My feet are going to fall off…" groaned Katherine, as she slowed and purposefully bailed onto the snow by Alice and Frank, reaching for the laces of the skates.
"Alright, let's go give Torvill and Dean a run for their money, Frank." said Alice, taking the skates from Katherine's outstretched hands and slipping her feet into them.
Katherine and Remus watched as the two skated hand in hand, managing to even do some amateur attempts at ice dancing before the wind picked up – and everyone bailed off the impromptu rink. Alice and Frank returned, grinning as they held hands with the enthusiasm of a newness yet to wear off.
"We're headed to the three broomsticks," said Frank, squinting against the wind, "You guys coming?"
Remus glanced to Katherine, and then back to Frank, "I think we'll head up to the castle, actually."
They walked slowly back up the path to the castle, snow crunching underfoot.
"Would you be okay if I took us on a little bit of a detour?" asked Remus after a quiet few minutes, turning to her with his hands tucked into his jacket pockets, "There's a place I'd like to show you – I understand if you don't have the time, or –"
"No – I'd like that." said Katherine, honestly.
They remained on the main path until they got the bridge. Instead of crossing it, Remus stepped down the bouldering edge of the crevice. He turned back, holding out his hands, and steadied her as she climbed down after him. It wasn't a far climb until they reached a flat rock beneath the bracing of the wooden bridge.
He sat, dusting his hands on the knees of his jeans, "It's a good place to think..."
Katherine sat, and for a still moment just watched the birds, the owls, wayward broomsticks, and the silhouettes in high up castle windows where heads were thrown back in laughter. The wind was cool as it whistled past, but the bridge above, and the bracing, provided shelter from the worst of it.
The wind blew Remus' hair back from his face and pinked his nose and cheeks. The beginnings of sideburns were anchored against where his ears met the top of his cheekbones. His eyes stuck to her, flashing with the setting sun.
"Are you cold?" he asked, brow furrowing, before beginning to peel off the infamous blue bomber jacket, "Here."
Katherine was at a loss as he draped it over her shoulders, the warmth immediately wrapping her, "Oh, I –"
"I run a bit warmer than you," insisted Remus, giving a smile, holding up the shoulder so she could slip her arm through. He looked her over with a triumphant breath, "There, it's almost a perfect fit,"
The elastic cuffs ended long at Katherine's knuckles, but the hem of didn't go past the middle of the back pockets of her jeans.
"You should keep it, actually. It was a bumfreezer for me to begin with, and it barely fits me anymore after my recent growth spurt. At least it can go to some use." he said, giving a light nudge as they sat.
Katherine crossed her arms across her stomach, newly warm, "Are… are you sure you won't miss it?"
Remus gave a shake of his head – and then his eyes caught on something behind her.
"Uh – oh," he said, his face light, "Here comes trouble."
Along the bridge above, came James and Black. They seemed even closer, joined at the hip almost, now that they lived together.
"Moony," greeted James, turning and nodding as he said, with emphasis, "Katherine."
Katherine matched his tone, "James."
Black was looking at Katherine – more specifically, at the jacket she was wearing –
"How'd you find me?" asked Remus, leaning back.
"It's no matter, dear Remus," said James, eyes alight as he shoved a piece of parchment into his pocket, "Due to our… predicament on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, we're down a Seeker…"
Remus's eyes flashed between his friends, and he said under his breath, lightly, "Oh, no…"
"We've spoken with Fabian. He already knows you ride the wind and all that when you're on a broomstick. So –" James held his arms open, an expectant grin across his face, "What do you say? Join the brotherhood? The old red and gold? Make the birds swoon."
Katherine had seen Remus fly. He was better than the weedy Spinnet even.
Remus sighed, squinting down at the sun where it dipped beneath the rocky base of the crevice, "You know why I can't."
Katherine almost frowned. Was he really that ill? He'd been spectacular on Black's birthday – exhilarated by it all too, undeniably…
"Bollocks," said James, with an upbeat sort of disappointment, shaking his head, "Who else can bloody play seeker –"
His eyes drifted back to the pair sitting on the boulder on the edge of the crevice –
"Hang on," James' eyes glinted, and his licked his lips as the wind blew his hair, "Fancy it, Spencer?"
Katherine glanced to Remus with her best silent communication of 'he's joking, right?'.
Remus, however, hardly looked perturbed – and was just looking to her, faint interest and amusement battling across his face.
"… no…" she said, mostly to herself; at the situation, as she looked back up.
Black, like the other two, was looking at her expectantly, like it was not the most bonkers thing ever suggested.
Katherine glanced around at the three as a whole; exasperated – and with a prickle of urgency –
"No."
On Monday morning, Katherine woke to the smell of warm wool, and a Gryffindor Quidditch uniform stiffly folded on the lid of her trunk. It marked the beginning of a week of permanent nausea. Disbelief too, that not a soul had tried to talk James – or Fabian – out of the decision.
Fabian had been waiting for Katherine on Sunday morning, pacing in front of the girls' stairs.
"Brilliant – you're an early riser!" he had greeted, "You've got friends on the team, so I know you won't disturb the inner dynamics. Potter taught you, so I know you'll be decent. Still, I will reserve my ultimate decision until after I see you fly at practise on Monday afternoon."
Unfortunately, on Monday afternoon practise, Katherine had flown the best she ever had. Much to her dismay.
Pure chance seemed to have thwarted her attempts to fly miserably. She had been swatting an annoying blue beetle from around her face when she accidentally slipped on her broom. Instead of plummeting to the ground, she caught her hand on the broom instinctively. The action pulled her back up the right way, and she made what seemed to everyone else as a 'spectacular dodge of a Bludger' which had happened to rip past her at the same moment.
Katherine could have fallen off her broomstick for real at the gall of the universe.
James, however, wasn't as obtuse as he had been pretending to be about her resistance to the new role. At the end of Thursday afternoon's practise, he swooped down on his broom, the cool early February sunlight flashing against his sweaty skin.
"I wouldn't have suggested it if you weren't ready, Katherine," said James, clapping a big warm hand over her shoulder, "I've been right there, watching you get better and better these past few months. Even if we don't win, it doesn't matter. No one on the team would ever give you any grief for it. We can still win the cup if we get enough points – remember?"
Katherine had even smiled at the memory of his theory test earlier in the school term, and nodded, looking down at her broom – and the dizzyingly distant ground beneath it.
James used his free hand to push his glasses up his nose, just for them to slide straight back down.
"Besides," said James, grinning and leaning in with hushed tones, "Imagine if we win."
Katherine could not deny the tingling exhilaration of the possibility. What if she was good? Like her father, she was going to play for Gryffindor. That alone, was enough to assuage some of her anxiety. She might never again get the chance to walk in his footsteps…
James patted her shoulder, and guided his broom down to land on the pitch already swarming with the red robes of the team.
Katherine lingered, sighing against the cool air, and took a deep bracing breath.
By happenstance, her eyes drifted back in the direction of the castle, and she saw a figure in the window of Defence classroom, looking out – watching the pitch. Giles had not breathed a word to Katherine about the whole thing. Disappointingly enough. Sometimes she caught him looking at her, it was… not quite disappointment at her misplaced priorities… but something else. She wondered…–
"Spencer!"
Remus stood below on the pitch in his school uniform, hands cupped around his mouth. When he noticed he had indeed caught her attention, he waved his arms with a grin, beckoning her down.
"Are you feeling better?" she asked, unsure if she could ask after him like that.
Remus shrugged, glancing out at the pitch happily before looking back to Katherine, "I wanted to come, regardless. I feel like I haven't seen you all week."
Katherine eyed him sternly, "Remus, if you die from exposure or –"
"It's not that kind of illness," he said placatingly, before he grimaced slightly, clutching the side of his neck, as if he'd pulled a muscle, "Still, maybe we should hole up in the library – by the fire? Keep you on top of your classes as well as quidditch,"
It was as the team moved around them, a few giving their 'hello's' to Remus, that Katherine's plait was flicked.
Remus' eyes shot over her shoulder, barely changed, but looked very much to have a none-too-pleasedness to them.
Katherine turned to catch the culprit –
"Did you want to get changed first?" Remus' words brought her eyes back to him.
Alas, the plait-flicker escaped her once more…
After changing in the sheds, Katherine walked out to Remus waiting for her. Together they trudged back up to Gryffindor Tower, collected their book bags, and set off for the library in, what was becoming, a familiar pattern.
On top of all the oddness of her week, was Regulus Black approaching her that night in the library while Remus was off searching for a book.
Katherine kept one eye on the direction Remus left in, and one on Regulus. Would he leave before Remus got back? Did he know Katherine wasn't alone? Regulus was one side of her life that never overlapped with any other. She was unsure if she was prepared for it to, either.
"Is it true you're playing in the match this Saturday?" he had said, after lingering at the edge of her table for an uncomfortably silent stretch of time.
Reluctantly, Katherine nodded at his genuinely inquisitive tone.
Regulus nodded, and his eyebrows had lifted.
"It's Hufflepuff, but…"
Katherine's nausea unexpectedly gripped her again at that moment, with full force.
His blue eyes had trailed over her, and, said, curiously, "Good luck, Spencer."
Remus slowly came back around a bookcase, his gaze fixed on where Regulus had disappeared, "Was that just…"
Katherine nodded slowly, communicating her shared disbelief back with pointedly widened eyes.
"Does he usually… act like that?"
"Sort of…" Katherine shrugged, before sighing, "I think it's to do with the odd air around the castle lately – something weird is going on..."
Remus placed down two heavy books, eyeing her mirthfully as he slowly sat –
"'Something weird is going on', isn't that our school motto?"
Katherine laughed, her eyes grazing past the clock on the wall as she did so – "Oh – gosh – it's nearly eight! We should probably get back to the tower…"
He hummed with a faint smile and glittering half-lidded eyes.
Katherine paused, a little self-consciously, "What is it?"
"Your charming sensibility," he said, before nodding to her things on the table, "And the way you stack your books –"
Katherine looked to her books with Remus; largest on the bottom, to smallest on the top, with her quill and inkpot beside –
"– marvellous," sighed Remus, equal parts earnest and playful as he held a hand to his chest.
Katherine smothered grin, but not the excitement flaring through her chest – like a firework, again.
"Lily's the same." said Katherine, shrugging, putting her books away in her bag carefully.
Remus tilted his head as he pushed himself up from the desk, and he too started packing his things away, "I don't know… I think I've seen her stack them by order of use before, with –"
Remus leant forward conspiratorially, whispering -
"Her planner on the bottom, beneath her potions textbook."
"I was mistaken –" joked Katherine, swinging her bag onto her back, "Lily Evans is a heathen."
Remus held his bag strap where it cut across his chest, and leant down amusedly as they strolled slowly out into the hallway, "If you're in the market for a new best friend…"
In holding his bag strap, Remus' arm was bent all too invitingly. Katherine slipped her arm around his and laughed.
"Throwing your hat in the ring?"
Remus gave a modest little smile in reply, but Katherine was distracted by the realisation that he looked a little taller then, as they walked through the hallways. Or maybe it was just because she was so close?
He hadn't given any inclination that he minded her taking his arm, even squeezing his bicep in silent response. It was not like she hadn't done it before.
She did it with Lily, inconsequentially – but she was girl. With Remus being a boy, did it mean something different?
Katherine did not know what to call the thing that was going on between them. It felt silly, and light – and good. He seemed to like her – to enjoy her company so much – because she was good and sweet. Would he still? When he found out she wasn't always?
A hint of doubt crept into Katherine's mind... but one glance up at him, and it vanished just as quickly. With him, she was always the best – the good – version of herself.
Happily, they strolled back to the tower, chatting happily about nothing much. He, mercifully, steered clear of the topic of quidditch – on purpose it seemed.
They dropped their arms at the portrait, necessarily, to climb through. Katherine watched their shadows stretch long before them into the common room as they exited the passage, as their inevitable farewell approached.
"I'll see you tomorrow." said Remus, slowly backing away through the furniture, with impish happiness across his face.
Katherine much preferred the general gaiety to his grimaces of pain and frowns at his friends.
"See you." said Katherine, her voice coming out much higher than intended, and she briskly cringed right after saying the words.
Remus did not notice – he had backed into the arm of the couch, and then stumbled, tripping slightly on the rug. Good-naturedly, he laughed at himself, and then turned the right way around, walking up the boys' stairs.
Upon bursting into the dormitory, Katherine was, unfortunately, reminded of the approaching match.
Marlene was hanging up her freshly laundered quidditch unform; ready – and very close to being needed.
The plus side of the situation was that Mary had returned to her old self, seemingly completely. Everyone in the dormitory was so absorbed by absurdity. Except for Marlene, who was ecstatic about the whole thing.
"It'll be brilliant, playing together!" she gushed later that night, curled up in her pyjamas; pillow clutched to her chest, "Imagine if you got on the team full time? Fabian thinks you're tops too – I heard him chatting with King in the changing sheds."
Katherine noticed her petting of Belle had become a bit faster, as her anxiety panged, and had to mindfully slow her hand, so as not to annoy her familiar.
Alice and Lily sat at the base of Katherine's bed with a paper chatterbox they had made, with possibilities that aimed at trying to cheer Katherine up. They'd had a surplus of time, as all the Professors seemed to go a little easier on the homework that week.
Katherine had her suspicions that McGonagall had something to do with it all. The stern booted witch had been in high spirits all week. She could even be heard whistling, when walking the corridors.
"Pick a colour."
"Blue."
"B – L – U – E," Lily spelled out, moving her hands in time. She looked up again, flicking her hair back over her shoulder the best she could with her hands busy, "A number?"
"Three." she hadn't picked that one yet.
The girls giggled and kicked their legs upon opening the flap, and said together in a sing song voice, "You catch the snitch – and Remus Lupin snogs you in front of the whole school!"
Katherine laughed at that, clamping her eyes shut and grimacing, she groaned her embarrassment, "Guys!"
The night was spent laughing over the ludicrous fake fortunes written in the parchment game.
"You fall from your broom and – wait, wait! – Gideon rushes down from the commentary tower and gives you mouth to mouth – crying over your unconscious body!"
"You don't catch the snitch… but you knock Greengrass out cold with your boot as you're flying over the Slytherin spectator tower!"
Saturday morning came, unmercifully quick.
She never had to do it again –
Fabian clapped his hands together after a rousing speech Katherine had barely heard – "Alright, let's get out there and blow their brooms out from beneath their bums!"
Marlene's arm hooked under Katherine's, pulling her up and shoving her broom into her hand on the way to the door.
She never had to do it again –
The door to the pitch was opened; snow and cheering rattling through her eyes and skull. The tightening of her Quidditch jumper collar reached epic proportions. Her broom somehow found the seat of her trousers, and she was in the air with the rest of the Gryffindor team, circling the pitch in an echo of the dread circling her stomach.
She never had to do it again –
Marlene had gone to her goal hoops she was to protect for the duration of the game, waving to Lily, Mary, and Alice where they cheered and waved from at the front of the Gryffindor stands.
Leopoldina Smethwyck, the referee and the flying Professor, was communicating through large gestures with a large man in a moleskin coat in an independent tower where the score charts were. Hagrid was too busy cheering on James and Sirius who had dropped down to high-five him and Peter on their way to the centre of the pitch to notice.
Taking stock of the crowds, Katherine discovered that Jimmy Twills had ventured down from his store in Hogsmeade to watch. Silver-streaked raven hair peeked out from his lifted goggles in the Professor's Tower from where he sat beside Giles. She couldn't see his keen purple eyes, but she was sure they were on her.
"Captains!" shouted Smethwyck, flicking her elaborate braid over her shoulder and squinting behind her comically large goggles, "Shake hands!"
Fabian could be seen clapping palms with his Hufflepuff counterpart down below.
"Take your places!"
Katherine rose up above the Chasers, and then the Beaters, to come level with Stebbins above the meat of the match.
"Let the game begin!"
Smethwyck blew her whistle and tossed the Quaffle higher than her bird-boned arm should have been able to. With a tap of her wand, the Bludgers flew out next, growling and on the prowl for victims.
There was a pause as the Chasers scrambled, James in the thick of it with King while Black skirted around the outside; streaking away and lifting his arm to catch James' pass without so much as a glance.
There was already a CRACK of a Beater's bat against a Bludger in the distance, in sync with a roll of thunder.
The cheer from the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw towers was almost rivalled by the booing from the Hufflepuff and Slytherin towers.
Smethwyck produced a small glinting object last, no bigger than a galleon from Katherine's distance, and there was a broom-tightening, breath-holding, and glance-exchanging pause in the Tower's appraisals of the match.
The snitch was released, and Katherine found that Stebbins was to never be more than a broom length off her tail twigs during the game.
Katherine tried barrel rolls, loop-the-loops, and all manner of manoeuvres to try and shake him, but he persevered – even with his later Nimbus model. His eyes, however, rarely left her. In his blinkered focus, Katherine was able to spot the snitch on one of her glances back over her shoulder; hovering a wing's length from Stebbins' yellow-robed shoulder.
Just as she eased her broom around to pursue, unease hooked Katherine by her navel, and her broom fought to leave her hands anyway it could; up, down, side to side. Not only the wood – but control – slipped further and further down her to her fingertips.
"SPENCER HAS STARTED SOME WEIRD NEW-WAVE MANOEUVRE NEVER SEEN BEFORE IN OUR NECK OF THE WOODS," announced Gideon, "PERHAPS EXPERIMENTAL FLYING TECHNIQUES IMPLEMENTED BY THE NEW CAPTAIN?"
Fabian swooped down, his bat falling to rest on his knee, "What's wrong?"
"It's not me," said Katherine, feeling her skull rattle with the force of the swings, "It's my broom!"
"HUFFLEPUFF USE THE DISRUPTION TO THEIR ADVANTAGE – SLIDING THEIR FIRST GOAL PAST A CONCERNED GRYFFINDOR KEEPER!" announced Gideon, "IT SEEMS TO BE THE ONLY WAY THEY COULD MANAGE ONE AGAINST THIS YEAR'S EXCEPTIONAL GRYFFINDOR SIDE!"
"I seriously doubt it," said James, trying to catch her tail twigs to stop the jerking only to nearly get whacked in the face by the pointy ends of them, "Your broom is top of the line."
"HUFFLEPUFF SCORES! AGAIN…"
James' glasses flashed against the sun as his gaze drifted towards the goal hoops.
Marlene was drifting off-centre of to watch Katherine.
"No, honestly," Katherine frowned and knitted her fingers together on the underside of her broom to save herself from getting bucked off, "Call a time out – I think it's jinxed."
"Who would jinx your broom?" asked Fabian, squinting under the sun.
Katherine caught two pairs of eyes in one second. James and Black had both been privy to her trapping in one of the secret passages that filled with water.
"POTTER'S CALLED A TIME OUT," announced Gideon, "AND NOW I DIRECT YOUR ATTENTION TO THE OTHERWISE SUPERB CALIBRE OF THE NEW ADDITION TO THE GRYFFINDOR TEAM – HEY, THE ONLY THROWING OF OBJECTS IS ON THE QUIDDITCH PITCH, NOT AT YOUR HEAD BOY, GREENGRASS!"
"Well… land… or something," said Marlene, completely abandoning the goal hoops, "You can't very well keep horsing about like that or else you'll get thrown off."
Katherine caught her breath as the wind seemed to stop trying to usurp her, "I think – I think that it's stopped."
"Right, we'll get on with the game," beamed James, ruffling his hair before shooting his hand up into the air to wave down the black robes of the referee, "Ref!"
"AND WE'RE BACK UNDERWAY!" announced Gideon, "GRYFFINDOR VERSUS HUFFLEPUFF, SIXTY TO TWENTY!"
Katherine squinted and found Stebbins' mustardy robes zipping through the towers; arm outstretched – expression wistful. She squeezed her thighs together, the wood pulling her by the seat of her trousers into the sky above the spectator towers, able to grasp at his tail twigs if she so desired.
"SPENCER HAS REJOINED THE CHASE FOR THE ILLUSIVE SNITCH!" announced Gideon, "STEBBINS' IS IN TROUBLE WITH BROOM TROUBLES NO LONGER IMPEDING THE NEW GRYFFINDOR SEEKER!"
No sooner than Gideon's words blared against Katherine's skull, the chase took a turn – down.
Perpendicular to the sand basin of the pitch, Katherine and Stebbins eyed the snitch, each other, and the ever-approaching ground.
They didn't slow.
Mustard and scarlet robes swirled around them in a sickening display, emerald and navy blotting the already stomach-squelching scene blurring by them.
Katherine's gloved-fingers involuntarily tightened around her broom. It felt thin. She remembered the unbreakable braking charm and her practices in pull-ups over the Black Lake with Marlene. She'd done it a hundred times before, she told herself.
A trickle of dread inched down her spine along with another intrusive thought.
But never in a game.
A scramble of Chasers split apart in the middle of the pitch for the Seekers. Through the ring of mustard and scarlet robes sped Katherine and Stebbins.
James' glasses flashed in Katherine's peripheral vision… Fabian's gold hair glinted…Marlene's gasp pierced the tunnelling air at Katherine's ear…
But she'd never dived from one hundred feet.
Katherine was vaguely aware of the tightened wrists of Stebbins.
The near-transparent tawny wings of the snitch batted, teasing Katherine for allowing herself to be lured into what would be a match-ending crash.
Stebbins' neck and broom pulled up – away.
Gideon said something over the loud speaker, but it was all a faint buzz to Katherine.
She was alone in her pursuit of the ever-plummeting golden snitch when its fluttering wings lifted up on the breeze.
But so did Katherine.
She gripped her broom and gritted her teeth. Her broom, as exhilarated by the chase as Katherine, levelled out; the toes of her boots scraping the sand. The flicked-up-sand caught in her throat, eliciting a cough from Katherine as she reached out a hand – not to cover her mouth – but to grasp at the ever-receding golden ball.
It went higher and higher, blurring across the turrets of the spectator towers and zipping out of her persistent grasp.
As altitude returned to the chase, so did Stebbins – and Katherine's hearing.
The roar of Gryffindor tower, the wind in her ears, and Gideon's announcing was waylaid by a hooking sensation behind her navel. A jerk of her broom in her left hand and a quiver in her throat was all the warning Katherine had before she was thrown violently.
Gasps made the unfurling ball of panic behind her sternum vibrate apart with new intensity – because Katherine hung by her left hand from an inch-thick piece of willow.
"WHAT'S THIS!? THE GRYFFINDOR'S SEEKER HAS BEEN THROWN FROM HER BROOM?" announced Gideon, "GRYFFINDOR VERSUS HUFFLEPUFF – SIXTY TO TWENTY! IF STEBBINS CATCHES THE SNITCH, IT WILL BE HIS FIRST SNITCH CAPTURE AND HUFFLEPUFF WILL WIN! YOU WOULDN'T READ ABOUT IT, FOLKS…"
"Spencer, catch the Snitch or die trying!" shouted James over the wind and the shoulder of the Hufflepuff Chaser blocking him from aiding Katherine.
The growl of a bludger and the burn of the wind against Katherine's face alerted her to the fact that she was very much still in the middle of the game. Random rushes of wind against her robes in the form of her fellow and opponent players made a knot in her abdomen intensify.
She had to get back up.
Katherine gritted her teeth and hugged herself to her upside-down broom with her arms. The contact the wood had to her front was enough for her to bring it under her command once again. The broom took off, pulling her the right way up, and Katherine kept low to her broom as she followed the glint of gold back up to the tops of the Ravenclaw spectator Tower.
Just as the wings of the snitch flapped against her fingertips once again, her broom started to quiver – the tell-tale sign that the jinxing offender was at it again. In an act of pure will, Katherine edged her broom out in front of Stebbins' and snatched the snitch from the air, only breathing again when the metal was snug in her sweaty grip.
There was a pause – a heart squeezing, eye hollowing, pause; filled only with deafening disbelief.
"SPENCER'S CAUGHT THE SNITCH – GRYFFINDOR WINS!" announced Gideon, his voice journeying from awe to elation in the space of six words.
Roars erupted from the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw towers while booing simultaneously met the air from the Slytherin and Hufflepuff towers.
Katherine couldn't find it in herself to celebrate; her eyes hunted for the culprit, and they didn't even need to leave the Slytherin tower.
Who else would have done it but Greengrass?
After less than a second of perusal, Katherine found Greengrass' pointed features beneath a green and silver woollen hat. The Slytherin was scowling in the usual Slytherin fashion; leagues beyond haughty. Katherine thought that she might like to spell something into Greengrass' mouth for her to choke on instead of shouting and booing Katherine.
Regulus' unflinching gaze from behind Greengrass' woollen hat didn't go unnoticed by had wished her luck. And she now knew why.
Feeling as if she'd rather dissolve into the sky, Katherine found the ground. Her broom had barely been dismounted when a flash of jet-black hair was in front of her. Glasses glinting; James' calloused grip was swiftly upon her shoulders, and his lips were upon her cheeks – repeatedly, bruisingly.
"We did it – we won!" cried James, releasing Katherine and linking arms with a gold-haired twin and dancing around in a circle.
At the pure glee on his face, Katherine's heart fought to lift off from the depths of her melancholy; her lips tugging up, and a laugh wrestling out of her throat.
It was when another laugh chorused with hers that, in a mess of arms and hair, Black slowed by Katherine in James' wake. King had just pulled the neat waves into a head lock, and lowered his own head in a bruising forehead kiss on the younger boy. Black turned to embrace the next person, locked eyes with Katherine, and paused.
With a gulp and a quick smile, Black offered her a nod.
Katherine, newly jolly from the team's elation, nodded back – too smiling.
"Ahhhhhhhh!" – the approaching Gryffindors flooded the pitch – having clambered down the stairs of the spectator towers. At the front, were two familiar faces. Positively legging it, Remus beamed as he closed in on the Gryffindor team, Lily behind him.
Katherine stepped back, assuming he was heading for Potter – or Black, even – when his arms closed around her waist like a vice, and he lifted her up, swinging her around with startling strength –
"Merlin – that was amazing!"
Katherine's chest soared, and she laughed, gripping his shoulders as he returned her to her feet, "I nearly got thrown from my broom!"
"Well, yes, very concerning might I add –" he said, with flickering sternness breaking through his elation "– but you caught the snitch!"
She noticed smeared red paint on his cheeks, but she couldn't make out what it had been…
Movement out of the corner of her eye caught her attention – Black had started stepping backwards slowly, before turning and heading for James. He glanced back –
"Your dad would have been proud."
Lily's words, on any other day, would not have brought a tsunami of tears out of Katherine. Caught off-guard, Katherine had to look away, doing her best to let the praise glance off her.
Alice clapped Lily on the back, "Lily here, was taking enough photos to be your honorary proud parent."
"I can't wait to get them developed!" beamed Lily, fondly gazing down at the camera in her hands.
Remus leant by Katherine's ear, needing to yell still – to be heard over the cacophony of noise.
"I've got to go see the others too," he said, pulling back and peering down at her cheerfully, "I'll see you later, yeah?"
Katherine nodded as Remus slipped away. His spot, however, did not have a chance to go cold.
King stopped in front of her; both of his hands encasing her right one and rattling her shoulder in its socket in the guise of a handshake.
"Excellent work! Really excellent Work! We haven't won a game with a snitch catch, and in the lead, in nearly a year –"
Katherine listened half-heartedly to compliments on her skill, her eyes still rifling through the bobbing heads passing them to see what the fifth year Gryffindor boys were doing.
"Wormy –"
"It's really not fair that you all got cool nicknames and I –"
"Not the time, mate." said Black, his hand clamping down on Peter's shoulder in a firm pat.
An arm slid along Katherine's shoulder, gold-lacquered nails anchoring on her shoulder and curls tickling her damp neck.
Marlene's arm tightened around Katherine, and began pulling her around King, "Sorry, King – Katherine needs to be advised of the festivities!"
Katherine barely had time to throw an apologetic smile over her shoulder to the burly seventh year before he was lost in the crowd.
"I think Potter wasn't expecting us to win," said Marlene, head low and voice loud and nearly lost in the chatter entombing them, "He and Black didn't sneak down to Hogsmeade last night like they usually do…really, they probably would have needed to drown their sorrows anyway if they lost…"
Katherine tried to keep up, conversationally, and in stride, with her shorter friend.
"But I've just spoken to Lily – who has spoken to Remus, who, well… those boys are all thick as thieves – you get the picture – so there's going to be a post-feast feast; Butterbeer…cakes from the kitchens…"
Letting herself be pushed and pulled by the steady stream of students and Marlene's firm grip, Katherine felt a tremendous distance between herself and the happy scene bubbling and blurring around her.
The earth only came rushing back up to her feet with startling intensity when her eyes grazed past an emerald and silver woollen hat. Greengrass.
Her appendix might have exploded with rage if a slicked back head of inky hair didn't swoop by the soft material at that very moment; Regulus…
Rage was replaced with a peeling sensation in her left shoulder; burning and chilling her all the same. Nothing was wrong with her feet, however, and they moved after the source of her wound.
Katherine hadn't taken off her Quidditch robes or even put down her broom. She was surprised that her grip on her broom hadn't snapped it.
Katherine could care less how she looked to her friends or people who she only knew in passing. She was livid – and coming to a stop at the Slytherin table in the Great Hall.
"Did you know?" demanded Katherine.
Half of the Slytherin table were watching her. Somewhat curious, but largely like Katherine was something they scraped off the bottom of their shoe.
Regulus blinked up at her.
"What?" asked Regulus, frowning and putting down his goblet of pumpkin juice.
"Did. You. Know?" repeated Katherine, feeling her voice grow alongside the heat in her cheeks.
"I think Spencer's gone round the bend!" laughed Greengrass.
The table laughed with Greengrass and it only served to make Katherine angry without abandon.
Regulus stood and cleared his throat, not meeting any of his peers' eyes.
"I think we should take this to the Entrance Hall." said Regulus, with a hand on Katherine's elbow.
Katherine ripped her elbow from his hot grasp, and crossed her arms while tucking her broom under her armpit.
"Fine." said Katherine, feeling her chin lift as she immediately hastened back down the large room to the Entrance Hall.
She felt Regulus in her wake, knowing he had his head down without sparing a glance back.
She couldn't share the same shame.
Stepping outside of the Great Hall, Katherine turned and waited; arms still crossed. She watched Regulus close the double doors on the prying eyes of the entire school body with some effort with his short wingspan in comparison to the doors.
He turned and sighed, "Alright, go ahead."
"Did you know?"
Regulus scrubbed at his face before running both hands through his hair.
"You're going to have to be a bit more specific, I know a lot of things." said Regulus lightly.
The words she knew that she had to speak made her eyes burn. Something she didn't expect to happen. But she had been humiliated. It was her first match and she let James down, making everyone think she couldn't even stay on her broom.
"Did you know about Greengrass trying to tamper with my broom?" asked Katherine, gulping away the crack in her voice.
Too many different emotions flashed across Regulus' face at once for Katherine to just discern one.
Regulus frowned, surprise colouring his voice, "Greengrass?"
Katherine felt her eyelids almost completely peel back in her incredulity, nodding and feeling her arms flail on their own accord.
"Yes! The great ugly bint in the year above you!" Katherine wiped her increasingly-wet nose on her Quidditch jumper sleeve, "So, did you know – or what?"
"Why do you think I would know?" asked Regulus, leaning back and regarding her tear-stained cheeks with visible discomfort.
Katherine shook her head at his lack of helpfulness, stepping closer to him, "You wished me luck. Why would you wish me luck?"
Regulus took a step back.
He didn't speak. But his eyes did. He knew something – but he wasn't going to tell her.
"After that display in the Great Hall –" Regulus' words were pointed, but his tone eased as he continued, "I can see that you're understandably rather upset. Perhaps you need some time to gather your thoughts and calm down. I don't think I'm quite the right person, and I think you may be better off talking to the likes of Evans at such a time,"
Regulus raised his eyebrows – infuriatingly.
"Lupin, perhaps?" he tacked on, before stepping away.
He was gone so suddenly, completely, that Katherine briefly wondered if he'd apparated despite being very underage…
Normal underage witches, however, giggled and didn't apologise when they slid past a frozen Katherine in the hallway; whispering, and all but skipping in the direction of the grand staircase.
"Did you see him today – in the match?" sighed the navy-robed Dorcas Meadowes before groaning and letting her head fall back, "What I'd give to share a changing shed with him every day…"
"He is so fit," Katherine recognised the girl arm in arm with Dorcas to be Bertha Jorkins, "I bet he'd even look good in one of those Azkaban identifiers – did you see the one in yesterday's paper of Malfoy's dad?"
"It's no wonder now why he didn't make Head boy…"
Katherine begrudgingly fell into step behind the girls, realising that they were also heading in the direction of Gryffindor Tower.
She tried not to listen, vehemently, but as talk turned to which boy on the Gryffindor team they would most like to snog, it became more difficult. Katherine, fearing that she would never be able to look Black or James in the eye again after hearing a detailed appraisal of their trouser bulges, all but leapt over the girls on the final staircase to the portrait of the fat lady.
"Bogmarsh!" Katherine all but shouted.
The Fat Lady raised a prim brow before sweeping her hand across her frame that popped out from the wall, granting Katherine passage.
As she clambered over the hole in the wall, she heard the Ravenclaw girls' stare rather than saw it.
"Was that –"
"Do you think she –"
Katherine distanced herself from the girls' aloud wonderings and had to come to a screeching halt in her escape – just shy of the end of the tunnel to the common room.
Garlands of holly from the stash of recently banished Christmas decorations were strung up around the circular room, along with Gryffindor banners – the odd scarf thrown over end tables and the backs of couches. Lion-adorned flags blazed high on the chandelier, enchanted to look as if in wind, and people had spelled the lions on the tapestries to roar whenever passed. One particular lion was letting out a rioting growl as King and a sixth year girl pressed against it and each other.
James Potter was in the thick of the celebrations, much like he was always in the thick of scrambles on the Quidditch Pitch; making declarations of victory and boozed-up promises. Much of the Gryffindor team surrounded him, either encouraging him or shaking their head – and in Sirius Black's case; both.
Katherine edged around the clusters of gleeful students, searching for her friends.
She found Lily's blaze of red hair first; leaning on an alcove, gnawing away at her lip, and chewing out the ears of underage students with their hands around strangely fizzing goblets. But she was smiling resignedly, throwing back her head to laugh at whatever Alice had whispered from beneath Frank's arm.
It seemed that everyone was enjoying themselves.
As she sat in the squashiest arm chair in the common room, directly opposite the fireplace, Katherine's mind turned back to the only other place she had ever called home. She found that the rectangular townhouse that was Number Twenty-Four Claremont square was no longer the place of regiment and cool regard she'd always thought it before she discovered magic, but a distant dream of consistency and ease.
But, supposed Katherine as she took a sip of Butterbeer froth, even if she could return, she wouldn't belong there anymore.
Sitting adjacent to her curly haired friend, their red-haired friend also traipsing over from her conversation with Alice, Katherine felt out her new normal; enchanted flags, roaring lion tapestries, and an amplified record player included.
A dark wizard that murdered her parents attempting to track her down, a dedicated bully in the hallways of Hogwarts, and her over-bearing exams watered down any feelings of unadulterated happiness that Katherine might have found in belonging somewhere.
Lily's eyes lifted from the pillow she'd clutched to her front upon sitting, and the green folded around Katherine like a warm dough.
It seemed that Katherine and Lily could go in and out of each other's minds without effort.
"Maybe you shouldn't have yelled." said Lily, swirling her goblet and gently frowning at Katherine over it.
Marlene snorted, adjusting her shirt to hide her chest; too full for the v-neck long sleeve, "Nah, they deserved it."
Lily's head swung to Marlene; eyes accusing.
"You don't even know what they did."
"Well, no," said Marlene, looking up from her shirt-adjusting and shrugging, "But I'm sure Katherine's anger was well-founded."
Katherine hummed, barely containing her bitterness, "Greengrass jinxed my broom."
Lily's crimson-painted-nails blurred in her periphery to place her goblet down on the table.
"Katherine –"
"And she tried to drown me in that passage," said Katherine, cutting Lily off and beginning to lift her fingers to count, "Locked me in a cupboard with Devil Snare –"
"You don't know that it was her for sure." said Lily in one breath, her thin eyebrows pulled together.
"Who else would have done it?" asked Katherine, tucking her hair behind each ear in turn with one hand, the other occupied by her goblet; leaning forward all the while.
"She has a point." said Marlene lightly.
Lily sighed, "Not you too."
Marlene turned back, blinking slowly and raising her round arches.
"Someone else has to have Katherine's back."
Lily's eyes flashed.
"Hey!" said Lily, sitting up straighter to abandon the pillow she was leaning on, pointing, "That's not fair –"
Marlene scoffed, still with her knees tucked up beneath herself and her goblet resting precariously on her knee, "Neither is taking those bastards' side."
"I'm not taking their side –" said Lily, turning to Katherine, "– Katherine, please understand that I'm just trying to –"
"Do your prefect duty by being fair and just," said Katherine, sighing and offering Lily a pacifying, albeit half-hearted, smile, "I know."
"I do have your back, Katherine," Lily sat back against the couch, frowning across at her friend, "I was even trying to do a counter-jinx today."
"And it didn't work?" asked Marlene, pausing her goblet just short of her mouth.
"Greengrass' jinx was too strong," Lily frowned, shaking her head, "I even think she was doing it non-verbally…"
"Hey, Katherine?" asked Marlene, shuffling her legs out from beneath herself, her quaffle-covered green socks touching down on the common room carpet.
Katherine lifted her eyes from the ottoman where a large, blank piece of parchment was folded up, "Yes?"
Marlene one-handedly detangled the back of her hair in a claw-like motion as she regarded Katherine.
"Why were you mad at Sirius' little brother?"
Embarrassment and confusion at the memory of the confrontation brewed through her, rolling like potatoes at a boil.
"Well, er…" Katherine hesitated, her eyes shifting between her two friends, "He wished me luck for the match, saying that I would need it... I should have known, really."
Lily shifted her hair behind her shoulders before folding her hands together on the pillow back in her lap, her knees and ankles together, "I really don't think that you should have snapped at him, Katherine."
"Why not?" Katherine lightly shook her head, feeling her lip tremble and hiding her eyes in case they betrayed her and leaked, "He just stood there while it was happening –"
"He was doing a counter-jinx too."
"He…" Katherine broke off, unfurling layers of emotion hitting the floor of stomach in swift succession; surprise, guilt, and then awed gratitude, "He was?"
"He was muttering something and he wasn't breaking eye contact…" Lily slowly nodded as she spoke, "It all makes sense..."
Katherine's shoulders gave out and she slung an arm across her eyes and let her neck fall into the curvature over the back of the couch, "Oh, I feel even more rubbish now…."
"Maybe you could try and apologise?"
The clearing of a throat startled Katherine further than Lily's words had, and Katherine removed her arm from her eyes.
Black weaved in through furniture to pocket the blank piece of parchment on the ottoman. He quickly re-joined a laughing Frank and James by the record player and accepted a new goblet that didn't have the signature froth of Butterbeer, but rather a sizzling red colour that jumped up from the goblet as the drink crackled and fizzed.
"Or maybe she could try and swim with the Giant Squid instead?" suggested Marlene, leaning back and dizzily focusing on the carvings on the round ceiling.
Exhausted, Katherine headed for the dormitory quietly not long after, catching Remus' eye from where he stood with the other boys.
Guilt swelled up in her, as they'd promised to catch up at the party, and she gave a small, and hopefully regretful looking, apologetic smile.
He had craned his neck to even see her, and gave a knowing smile back, even if his shoulders ever so sagged as he turned back to his friends.
Once she turned, she felt his eyes on her again. It made it a little harder to go.
Afterall, he was perhaps the only person she felt like sitting with at that moment.
The Giant Squid, Katherine found out the following day, breached into sight more often than Regulus Black.
While people were clutching at their heads during Breakfast, James Potter was clutching at straws at the double doors with Wood; trying to secure the pitch for extra practices to continue a winning streak. Not that he told Wood that. "By the power vested in my by Fabian Prewett…" was how James had begun his spiel.
"You saw her get thrown from her broom, hit for six – isn't that what the muggles say?" said James, "Well, she's right out of it – could use the extra time to get back on her broom and recover."
Wood frowned, "I did see it –"
"Good lad – thanks a bunch – I best be off to Charms." steamrolled James, turning and parading off in the direction of the mentioned classroom.
Katherine, indeed, thought that he could use some further instruction in his charms, but not the kind that required a wand.
While Wood kept trying to chase down a suddenly illusive James Potter all day, Marlene helped Katherine chase down a characteristically reclusive Regulus Black.
It was as they followed him after breakfast for a walk around the Black Lake, to the boys' lavatory after every class, to the courtyard at lunch where he avidly perused a broom magazine, and ran beneath his broom during his afternoon fly before dinner; that Katherine realised that he always found her – he knew her schedule – but she had known next to nothing about him.
She was surprised by how normal he was – if not weak-bladdered. No doubt from all the tea he drank, Katherine discovered as she and Marlene followed him from where he had been couped up in the library with an endless teacup and stacks of books from the end of dinner to the ever-approaching curfew.
It was in trying to keep a few broom-lengths off of the back of Regulus' emerald-lined robes that Marlene and Katherine had to pause in an offset hallway as the boy bent over to tie his shiny oxfords.
Katherine sighed, turning to check on Marlene behind her, before poking it back out of the hallway to see Regulus strolling down it; almost a speck in the distance. Her heart as heavy as bludger in panic, Katherine nudged Marlene's shoulder and moved off –
"What are you two girls doing out this close to curfew?"
The new voice brought them both back to attention, shoulder to shoulder once more in combined surprise and in the face of their Head Boy.
Katherine might have fainted if Marlene wasn't there; she and Gideon hadn't spoken since the last Hogsmeade weekend before Christmas.
Marlene checked her watch, squinting in the scarce light, "It's curfew?"
Gideon squinted gently back down at the flimsy deflective statement, tilting his glinting head of gold.
Katherine gulped, knowing he'd poke holes soon enough.
"We just got back in from a fly," lied Katherine, wishing she could have closed her eyes when his found her beside Marlene, "Testing my broom after Saturday's disaster, you know…"
"Saturday – was it…" Gideon broke off, checked either side of himself, and leant down to whisper, "Was it something to do with any Slytherins?"
Marlene stiffened next to Katherine, "Yeah, she's cursed – has someone trying to do her in at breakfast everyday – but we have to go right now,"
Confused, Katherine turned to her friend to catch a significant look, her head bobbing discreetly down the hall.
"Curfew and all…things will be black for us if a professor catches us…" continued Marlene, smiling like she'd prefer to be on her way to a bathroom and not exiting a conversation.
A pinch was hidden in the recesses of their winter cloaks, and Katherine realised that Regulus was no longer visible.
"Hey, Gideon," said Marlene, hooking her arm through his and pointing with the other, "Are those third years harassing the Grey Lady?"
Marlene's face was the perfect picture of interest, but her thumb was jutting violently behind her back in the direction of the courtyard.
Katherine got the message, inching away until she was sure that Gideon was absorbed in Marlene's ploy. She went flagstone by flagstone until he wouldn't notice if she completely slipped into the torchless areas of the hallway, and sought out a boy with a name just a dark as the light-absent stretches.
"Regulus!"
He didn't even flinch. He just continued around the corner.
Katherine picked up the pace, hoping Filch wasn't going to pop of out somewhere and give her a detention for running in the hallways. And when she rounded the corner, she barely took stock of the empty hallway before shouting his name again.
"REGULUS! –"
Hands grabbed her wrists and pulled her behind a pillar in the courtyard.
"Would you stop shouting my bloody name!?" hissed Regulus, checking both ways down the hallway.
"Sorry." said Katherine, looking down at where he held her wrists.
"So?" asked Regulus, with wide, exasperated eyes as he dropped her wrists, "What do you want this time?"
Katherine thought she might spontaneously dissolve with the sudden bubbling in her veins, and couldn't stop her mouth from opening.
"That's a bit rich, coming from –"
His raised eyebrows stopped her from finishing her sentence.
Instead, she took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a short moment.
"Look," Katherine opened her eyes and frowned, looking down at her shoes, "I…I just wanted to apologise,"
Something indecipherable slipped over his face.
"I shouldn't have accosted you in the Great Hall," said Katherine, having practised her words all day, "It was improper of me."
A quirk in his lips, at the memory of his own words at the Christmas party, was her hard-won reward –
"And what –"
Black, the Gryffindor one, jumped through an arch from the hallway; flicking his hair from his face as his eyes flashed between Katherine and Regulus, cloaked in amused suspicion –
"– would be going on here?"
Black shoved a piece of parchment sticking out of his pocket further down into the robe material as he stepped closer.
Regulus let out a huff, turning away, "Sod this…"
Regulus hesitated as his eyes passed over Katherine, something akin to a pendulum swinging behind his eyes.
"And… don't worry about it… Spencer." the words were measured carefully, as the boy glanced at his older brother out of the corner of his eye.
Without another word, he stalked away down the dark corridor.
Black turned back to Katherine and sighed, running a hand through his hair before looking away again.
"Sorry about him."
"Funny, that's what he usually says about you."
Neither looked at the other, nor spoke another word, but they stood together; united, in the odd air of the night.
In Memoriam of Christine McVie
I heard of her sad passing in the midst of writing this chapter, well after I had even written the scene with Remus in Hogsmeade. As a lifetime Fleetwood Mac fan – a love passed down to me by my parents – I will admit that I cried when I heard the news.
I think Katherine would have too.
