I own nothing. All references, music, and any other properties belong to their respective creators, RWBY is owned by Rooster Teeth and Monty Oum.
'Thoughts'
"emphasis and scroll"
"Talking"
"Deep Emotion"
(Insert Music)
General POV: Pitch's Classroom
(Gintama: Toubun Tora ne Tonaa OST)
Today Pitch was in a much better mood, Mardy has decided to come back and resume his work as the school's librarian despite the headmaster's insistence on the subject. While Pitch was still tired and annoyed, the man had regained some form of composure. As time passed and students from teams RWBY JRDL and DRPN made their way towards their seats with their notes laid out and homework on his desk, Pitch stood up from his seat, "Alright students, we have a new transfer student that shall be be joining the freshman year, so I expect you all to be on your best behavior." This caused whispers to flow through the room.
Ruby was excited to meet her new classmates, "Oh~, I hope that whoever it is likes weapons."
Yang is annoyed that she has to be in the same room as Pitch but still smirks as she says, "I wonder if they're gonna be a brawler."
Weiss scoffs and says, "They had better not be a brute."
Blake's bow twitches as she thinks, 'I wonder if it'll be a Faunus.'
Dusty raises an eyebrow wondering what could've happened that would cause someone new to show up while his partner just smiles and hopes that they can get along. Nora didn't pay all that much attention while just shrugged in indifference. Pitch speaks again while grimacing, with only Dusty and Pyrrha noticing, he groans and says, "Now, give a warm Vale welcome to my... ugh niece... Summer Ross. You can come in now." He called out as the doors slowly opened and revealed what looks like a Ruby look-alike. This got a jaw drop from Weiss and Dusty, a shocked but excited look from Ruby Yang and Pyrrha, no reaction from the gender-bent Mulan and Thor, and a flirty Jaune to approach. When Pitch sees this, he brushes his finger through his hair as he thought, 'Oh this is just painful, I'm not sure if this is her way of getting back at me for telling Raven or an attempt to make up for lost time with her kids.' He retracts his hands as he notices something and grimaces, 'Oh joy, the girl isn't even back for a week yet and she's giving me grey-nope, white hairs. I'm going to have to go into town to acquire some hair dye.'
Pitch sits down as he rubs his eyes and tells the class, "Now onto the next matter of business, since Summer is new here and we don't have any dorms available that haven't been reserved for the ones that shall be participating in the Vytal Festival, she's going to have sleep with one of the teams of her choosing and she has chosen team RWBY. As for classes, I'm sorry but I don't have anything to teach you today, so you are all free to take this time to catch up on the work that you've missed."
As teams RWBY and DRPN were about to demand answers the intercom went off as Ozpin made an announcement, "Attention this is Professor Ozpin, I would like for Amanda Huggenkis to report to my office, I have a Drew P. Wiener and Ali Keybum that need your attention. I repeat, I would like for Amanda Huggenkis to report to my office, I have a Drew P. Wiener and Ali Keybum that need your attention."
After Ozpin finished, it was needless to say that Pitch was smirking while the entire school was laughing at the headmaster's expense. Pitch looked towards team RWBY as they were busting their guts and said, "If it's not too much trouble, could you four show Summer around the school and help her get settled in? I would truly appreciate it." When they heard that, they got out of their seats and went down into town with Summer. But before they left Summer charged at him and gave him a hug as she said, "Thanks uncle Pitch." And whispered, "I know I told you it would work, but thanks buddy." Pitch just grumbled, "Yeah yeah, but it's good to have you back."
Downtown Vale
(Red VS Blue intro theme)
As team RWBY and the teenage mom walk down the streets of Vale that is being decorated for the upcoming Vytal Festival. Red, yellow, and green streamers and balloons are proudly on display, and Team RWBY is strolling through it all with an awed Weiss Schnee in the front. Meanwhile a sign is being put up by an elderly Shop keep that reads in bright red letters "WELCOME TO VALE!" for all the foreign newcomers from their respective kingdoms of Remnant.
(Red VS Blue intro theme) END
"The Vytal Festival! Oh, this is absolutely wonderful!" Weiss stops and raises her arms in amazement.
Summer leans over to Ruby and whispers, "Is she always like this?"
She leans in and whispers back, "No, not really. She's like a more social version of Blake, except she doesn't have a cat glare and is more snooty." Earning a giggle from her mother.
She looked at Weiss, "So~, I don't think I've ever seen you smile this much, Weiss." Ruby says, then frowns a little "It's kinda weirding me out..."
"How could you not smile?" Weiss turns to the duo. "A festival dedicated to the cultures of the world! There will be dances! Parades! A tournament! Oh, the amount of planning and organization that goes into this event is simply breath-taking!" She continues walking and the others follow her.
Yang sighs, arms crossed. "Wow, you really know how to take a good thing and make it sound boring."
"Quiet, you!" Weiss snaps at Yang before she points at Summer, making her blink in confusion, "And you, why do you and Ruby look so much alike?"
This gains the attention of the remaining teammates, Summer stumbles for an excuse, "O-oh, well you see- The thing is that Uncle Pitch is um... Ruby's first cousin on her mom's side! Yeah, that's it."
When they hear this Blake looks at them indifferently, Weiss raises an eyebrow, while Ruby and Yang look at her in joy at hearing that they have a family member they never knew about. The next moment, Summer found it hard to breathe as the half sisters started to bring her into a bear hug, "Can't. Breathe!" As the pair drop her she gasps for breath and thinks, 'Wow, my kids are gullible. I should help them on that.'
Yang asks Summer, "So~, do you have any dirt on Pitch? The guy gave me a real slice of life and I need something to help me get through the day."
Summer cringes as she hears Yang's pun but tells her, "I haven't heard any of the more recent stuff... OH, but I know that he opened a few bars! One is here in Vale and the other is somewhere in Mantle. Unless you wanna know about kill count, that's all I can tell you."
Weiss turned to look at the white reaper in curiosity when she heard the word Mantle, "Do you at least know what they're called?"
Summer turns to Weiss as she puts a finger to her lips, looks up in thought as she says, "Hm~, I think he called one in Mantle is called the FU BAR, I think it had something to do with how huntsmen have trouble finding work after they retire. As for the one in Vale, all I know is that he opened it with some guy called 'Diam' while he was still in school and that he's supposed to be strong."
Yang was about to ask something about Diam when she was assaulted by the smell of fish coming from the docks, where the sounds of foghorns could be heard in the background. "Remind me again why we're spending our Tuesday afternoon visiting the stupid docks, when should be showing Ross here the sights?" Yang asks.
Summer looked at her eldest while she felt conflicted when she heard what Yang called her. On one hand they bought her lie, but on the other, it just hurts her to have to hide this.
Ruby covers her nose. "Ugh, they smell like fish!" Blake shrugged as she actually kind of liked the smell.
Weiss answers as she puts a hand on her flat chest and walks closer to the edge, "I've heard that students visiting from Vacuo will be arriving by ship today. And, as a representative of Beacon, I feel as though it is my solemn duty to welcome them to this fine kingdom!"
As Weiss starts walking away, Blake reveals the real reason. "She wants to spy on them so she'll have the upper hand in the tournament."
Weiss scoffs at the accusation. "You can't prove that!"
"Whoa." Summer notices something down the street. Her daughter's team looks to see a Dust store with shattered glass on the ground along with dozens of little monkey-like paw prints while the door was full of yellow caution tape of the Vale Police Force.
They choose to approach the detective in front, who is writing on his pad. "What happened here?" Ruby asks.
"Robbery." The detective answers. "Second Dust shop to be hit this week. This place is turning into a jungle."
Yang sighs sadly. "That's terrible."
A different detective talks to the first one. "They left all the money again."
Hearing this Ruby turns her head "Huh?"
The first detective responds. "Yeah, just doesn't make a lick of sense. Who needs that much Dust?"
"I don't know, an army?" The second detective proposes.
"You thinking the uh White Fang?" the first detective asks.
The second detective removes his sunglasses. "Yeah, no. Haven't you heard? They've gone back to their more docile approach. Yeah, I'm thinking the Red Maw... that or a traveling circus... What? It could happen, maybe."
Weiss crossed her arm as she looked away and jauntily said, "Hmph, the White Fang, what an awful group of degenerates."
Blake was about to respond when they suddenly felt the air shift around them as they heard a familiar chuckle, "Oh that's rich coming from you Weiss."
The group of five turned around and saw Dusty standing right behind them, he takes out his Scroll as he waves it at them, "You girls have been ignoring my texts, class ended a while ago and I thought that you were up to no good. False alarm I guess."
"And what's that supposed to-EEP!" Weiss said as she marched over to Dusty as she had tried to poke him in the chest only to slip through him, to which he caught her arm to prevent her from hitting the ground.
Dusty smirked at her as he said, "Well, you did flash everyone during initiation by not wearing stockings."
The team tried not to laugh at how Dusty had easily knocked Weiss off her high horse as the white girl exploded in an atomic blush when she realized that she was wearing a thong that day and that she DID flash everyone. Dusty smirked as he finished her off, "Yeah, you should wear black more often."
Summer couldn't take it anymore and fell on her back and rolled back and forth at the blushing heiress as she laughed her ass off, she thought, 'Oh I can't help it! He's just like his dad! I can't breath! I can't breath! HAHAHAAA!'
Dusty smirked one last time before he became serious and said, "But in all seriousness, while what the White Fang did in recent years -before they calmed down- was wrong, I can't say that they should be condemned for it."
Hearing this, Team RWBY starts to calm down as Summer gets up and Weiss responds with, "Well, excuse me if I don't care for the criminally insane."
Dusty lets out a sigh and says, "Look, I don't have anything against you or your family, but you can't deny that they -being your dad and board of directors- haven't helped solve the problem... You know what your dad is like and his blatant racism doesn't help so. That aside I think that we can agree that the real problem is the Red Maw, you don't have to like everyone based on past experiences, but you need to learn to be unbiased."
Weiss looks at Dusty sternly before quickly turning away when she realizes that she won't be able to win the argument when she agrees for the most part, not that she'd tell him that.
"Hmm... Dusty's got a point." Ruby admits. "Besides, the police never caught that Torchwick guy I ran into a few months ago... Maybe it was him."
"Be that as it may, it still doesn't change the fact that the Red Maw are a bunch of scum. The Faunus in that group only know how to lie, cheat, and steal."
The Rose trio blow out a sigh as they think, "Well, I guess that best we're gonna get out of her for now."
The conversation is suddenly halted when a sailor in the background yells "Hey, stop that Faunus!"
As the team overhears the cry for help and rush over to investigate, Sun Wukong is seen running down the length of a boat and leaping onto the edge as the two sailors are about to apprehend him. Dusty narrows his eyes as they roll towards Summer as he thought, 'Hm... Now might be a good time to get some answers...'
As Sun runs past Team RWBY, he winks at an astonished Blake in slow motion before time speeds up again and he continues to be chased by the officers. They all watch as the Faunus gets farther and farther away. "Well, Weiss, you wanted to see the competition, and there it goes..." Yang says.
"Quick!" Weiss holds up a finger. "We have to observe him!", Weiss Yang and Blake chase after him as Ruby turns towards where her brother and Summer were standing, "Well? Aren't you guys com-? Wait, where'd they go?"
Beacon Courtyard
(Gintama: Shoyo theme)
While Ruby was wondering where her brother and "cousin" went off to, in front of the statue in Beacon's courtyard, the air began to shift as two people literally showed up out of thin air. Summer screeches as she immediately falls on her face after being transported so abruptly, she rubs her nose as she complains, "Ow~, you could've at least given me a heads up before doing that."
"Well sorry about that mom, it's not everyday Pitch brings someone back from the dead." Dusty says as he crosses his arms while leaning by a lamp post.
Summer freezes as she hears what her son said, she turns to him and laughs nervously, "Pfft, come on. Back from the dead? What do you mean mom? Do I look like I'm old enough to be someone's mom?"
Dusty smirks as he shrugs and says, "I guess you're right. You look like you could be someone grandma though, way too old."
When she heard the first part she became relieved before being overcome with rage when she heard the second and shouted, "WHAT?! I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I'M ONLY IN MY MID TWENTIES! EVEN IF I GAVE BIRTH TO YOU AND RUBY THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME-!... Oh, crap. I fell right on into that one, didn't I?"
Dusty smirks and says, "Yep!" with a pop at the end.
Summer walked over to sit at the edge of the fountain as she looked down with a bitter smile, she asked him, "So, what gave me away?"
He sighs as sits next to her with his hands folded under his chin, same as his mother and says, "Well, for one you are a terrible liar... And Pitch told me after I asked him back in class after you left. Can't say that I was expecting to see you again, well, at least not today... He told me everything and I do mean EVERYTHING; Ozpin's LONG life ,silver eyes -which I kinda already knew- , Salem, the deal, the relics, your flings with Qrow-"
"WHAT?! He said wouldn't tell anyone!" When she saw the look on her son's face, she knew that it happened again. "Aw~ dammit. How did you know that one?"
He raised a brow in her direction as he looked at her with a flat expression and said, "Really? Name one quality me and Tai have in common..."
She looked at him nervously, "Um uh, ehe your gender? Don't tell your sister's, Yang has enough problems with Raven and I don't need my relationship with Qrow and Raven's with Pitch to-... I'm gonna shut up now. You aren't surprised, are you?"
"Everything you told is basically the same as being told that Professor Goodwitch is a dominatrix, I'd be shocked but it wouldn't bother me much cause I already suspected it... Don't worry, I won't tell them, but you will by the time the Vytal Festival starts."
She lunges to her son and hugs him, "Thanks."
He sighs as he hugs her back, "Yeah yeah, I love you too. At least there's one upside to being a teen again."
"What's that?"
He lets go and tells her, "You can get to know Ruby without having things blow up in your face first, that and don't have to worry about wrinkles... It's getting late, why don't you go back to your room, I have a few things to do." And with that she left Dusty to his thoughts, 'Now... To deal with Blake.' He takes out his Scroll as he dials a number.
A few hours later
(A Shadow Go By)
As Blake arrives, she runs outside and approaches a statue of an armored man with a sword and a hooded woman wielding an ax on an outcropping, staring at the Beowolf under the stone heroes in particular. She closes her eyes and slowly lifts her arms up to her bow and pulls the string to release the bow from her hair to let her ears out. She wipes a tear away. As she was on the verge of an emotional outburst, Blake becomes startled when she hears a slow clapping sound from behind a pillar.
*clap*
*clap* *clap*
*clap* *clap* *clap*
Blake shouts, "Who's there?!" She turns around as she grips Gamble Shroud.
"Relax Blake, I'm not here to scorn or hurt you in any way-" Pitch reveals himself as he stops clapping, "But we really should talk..." She continues to glare at him, "Easy girl, there's no need for that. I can't fault you for wanting to hide your heritage."
Blake narrows her eyes at her teacher as she asks, "Why are you here?"
Pitch folded both of his hands around his back as he circles her and leans his head to the side, "I was informed by your leader's brother that you were having a falling out with your team. He asked me to solve the issue at hand... He had a feeling that you'd blow your little secret."
Blake widened her eyes as she figured that Dusty had already known, "Wait, when did he-!?" Pitch cuts her off.
"-Find out? You aren't nearly as good at keeping secrets as you think you are. I also knew from the start, but that's beside the point. As for how he knew; you like fish more that most people, you like to isolate yourself, you're jumpy around dogs, you enjoy being in high places, and you practically have the word Screw you written across your forehead... But if you must know, all it took for me was hearing your last name and... well, bows don't twitch."
Blake blushed at the man in a combination of shame and annoyance as she glared at him when she got told off about how poor her subtlety was when it came to keeping her secret. She gives Pitch the silent treatment, making him look down and sigh as he pulls out a paper and pen before writing something down and handing it to her. "Go to that address and tell the manager that I said that you could borrow my place room. An old friend of mine owns the place so it should serve its purpose... I figure you could use some time to yourself and clear your head after that whole mess. As for the monkey Faunus eavesdropping..."
That earned Pitch a high pitched 'EEP!' from behind the statue as Sun walked out into the open, "So~ um, how long did you know I was up there?"
Pitch looked flatly at the boy and said, "Long enough, be sure to make it so that she gets there in one piece." And with that he leaves the pair alone as Blake looks down and reads the address he wrote down.
'The Darkness, 0231 Red Brick RD? Isn't that a nightclub? His niece did say he co-started a bar, but this? Wait, there's a list at the bottom...'
(Gintama: Prince Hata theme)
House Rules
Do not read or remove my books from their shelves.
Do not touch my mask collection.
Do not show Diam the list.
Things Diam is NOT allowed to do
1. "I am an adult" is not a valid excuse to use whenever he does something immature.
2. Do not sleep with him if you are under 18.
3. Do not insult Diam's horns, just don't.
4. The man is a narcissist, so just ignore it.
5. Do not ask about his family, specifically his brother.
6. If the Red Maw barges in, do nothing. He'll have it done in a literal snap.
7. Catnip is not allowed in the building no matter what Diam says about what happened last time. Just because he had a "good time" does not mean it is a good idea.
8. Diam is not allowed near a chainsaw of any kind.
9. Diam is not allowed to use peanut butter, hot sauce, or cocaine in the bedroom.
10. Diam is NOT a god, Elvis, a member of Queen, a councilman, chieftain of Menagerie, a doctor, or a genius.
11. While it is true that no one expects "The Grimm Inquisition", that is only because there is no such thing.
12. Just because I do not want people to see my books, does not mean that they are smut.
13. Diam is not allowed to make tentacle monsters.
14. G#### should not be used to make pornography, even if it would turn a profit in Atlas or for charity.
15. Shotgun to the groin is not a solution to any situation... Unless Ozpin or some pervert (Port) is involved.
16. Diam is not allowed to replace my lamps with anything that he could have used in the bedroom.
17. Not allowed to use any illegal substance, former nor current.
18. Diam is not allowed to turn the Grimm Lands into a casino nor contact its current resident. Don't ask.
19. Diam is not allowed to go to ANY war reenactment. It's a miracle that I've managed to keep him hidden from Ozpin and his wife after THAT.
20. Diam is not allowed to use mind control on Beacon staff, except that one time he made Ozpin order a half ton of manure and spread it on his doorstep.
21. Diam is not allowed near a movie studio.
22. Diam is not allowed to create lien, it'll screw up the economy.
23. Diam is not allowed to have a Tinder account.
24. Diam is not allowed to spank a Monkey Faunus as a joke.
25. Diam is not allowed to send a hippy to the moon just so he can "See how high he can go.".
26. Diam is not allowed to go around the club or in public naked.
27. Diam is not allowed to make zombies nor make people i###### while also letting them keep their m####. We are still dealing with her.
28. "My brother did it" is a lame excuse, even for him.
29. Diam is not allowed to hire a nanny for my kids EVER.
30. Diam is not allowed to cause a "Big Bang" in the bedroom as a joke.
31. Diam is not allowed to wear lederhosen while playing the tuba in Mistral... too much weed.
32. While Diam may be the more reasonable and relatable of the two, it does not mean that he is the most mature.
33. Diam is not allowed to hit on married women and cannot call them "The Final Frontier".
34. Melting gold or anything else is not the same as "liquidating assets".
35. An Apathy is NOT to be used as an sedative.
36. Diam is not allowed to make a G#### Whale just to name it "Dick" as a joke. Know what, NO G#### Whales whatsoever period.
Ran out of paper, consult Violet at the bar for the other 63 pages.
Her eyes widened at the amount of rules specifically meant for the owner, "Oh wow, that's a lot of rules. I don't even understand half of them." She turns the paper and gains a flat look, "...Really?"
Shopping List
1. 20x packs of Black hair dye
2. Baby shower gifts for Glynda & Mardy - Crib?
3. Eggplant
4. Pasta (Angel hair)
5. Chuck & Ginny's sauce
6. Bread crumbs
7. Canola oil
8. Tampons (for Raven)
9. Whip cream
10. Popcorn
11. 18x missed birthday presents for Pyrrha
12. Yu Gi Oh cards Note to self: Product is labeled as Duel Masters
13. Anti-Anxiety meds
14. Antidepressants
15. Vitamin D3
16. Mood stabilizers
17. Cream soda
18. Peach & Raspberry Schnapps
19. 50 First Dates, Just Go With It, Blended, Mr. Deeds, Mrs. Doubtfire, Good Morning Mistral, Old Dogs, Man of the Year, Bruce Almighty, or whatever would make for a good date night.
"And the rest is a shopping list, at least I know a thing or two about him now... But seriously, who even needs that much hair dye in the first place?" She let out a sigh as she gestured for Sun to follow her, "Come on Sun, let's go."
Downtown Vale
(Hellsing Ultimate: Alucard piano theme)
After a long walk down the dark streets of Vale, they finally reach their destination. As they stood in front of the building they saw that it reached seven stories, excluding the club area, with big cursive and italicized words spelling "The Darkness". The front doors had a pair of western dragons with spiral horns carved into it. As Sun started to feel uncomfortable, he yawned and said, "Oh, man is it late. Just make sure to come find me when you're ready to talk bye!"
Blake shook her head at the boys antics before walking in, the inside was filled to the brim with people dancing to loud music. She winces at the pain it causes her ears before quickly making her way towards the bar and meets a young woman with purple hair and light blue eyes, light skin, an adequate bust, and a stern face. She wore a black tank top and dark blue ripped jeans. As the woman was cleaning a glass, Blake spoke up and said, "Excuse me, but I was told that I could borrow a room from Pitch and that I should see the manager."
The woman turned to Blake and pinched the bridges between her nose while muttering something about being a nanny, she sighed and told her to wait a minute before dialing a number, "Yes it's me... I have a name, could you use it for once... *groans* Yes, well there's a girl down here that says that Pitch said that she could borrow his room... Hello? Diam, you still there?"
As the woman was going on she noticed that someone was tapping her shoulder, she inhaled deeply before turning around and seeing her boss with his signature grin. The man before her was a 'young' man in his mid twenties; he had short spiky purple hair with two black horns that protruded towards the back of his head and a small goatee. He was a tall man that wore a darker purple suit with a white button down shirt that had the top few undone. Blake was taken aback at the tall man that had suddenly appeared out of thin air. The man turns to Blake and asks, "Now aren't you a young one? Pitch told me you were coming, take the elevator to the sixth floor. You'll have all the privacy you need."...
...
...
I'm really sorry about how short this chapter was, but man you guys didn't see that coming huh? Special thanks to Genatools for letting me use this, be sure to check out his story "Detective Grimm" and the same for Crimson Weresloth for agreeing to make a Reaction/Reading/Watching/Viewing version of it. I hope you guys enjoyed it cause Diam is gonna be popping in and out every so often. Be sure to leave a review and add this and "Detective Grimm" to favorites. And before you ask; YES, MUSIC WILL BE REGULAR AND THIS IS A JOJO'S REFERENCE! Sorry, I couldn't resist, till next time.
