Olivia was sitting on the beach staring at the sunrise. She was holding the picture of Serena and Olivia on this beach. The two were having a good time together, it was one of her best memories of Serena. She was hearing the fight she had with Serena in her mind. Her phone began to ring. She picked the phone up to see Alex calling. She wanted to answer her phone, she needed to hear Alex's voice. She stared at the phone her thumb hovered on the answer button. The screen went dark. A tear left her eye as took a sip of her cider. Her phone chimed a voicemail notification.

She opened the voicemail as she heard Alex's shaky voice. "Olivia, Amanda said you haven't returned home. I just want you to know...I...uh.. I'm… I'm sorry for what happened. If… I crossed the line, can you tell me? I… uh… just need to hear your voice… please." Olivia's tears ran down her face. She took another sip. She ripped up one of her most valuable pictures she owned, knowing Olivia's relationship with her mother would never get better than that.


Alex was on the ice going over her programs. She couldn't land any jumps for over a week. She skated laps around the rink, to get her mind clear. She doesn't understand Olivia walked out on her when everything felt so right. She didn't understand Olivia hadn't called her in four days. She thought her relationship with Olivia was better than being ghosted.

She sped up her pace around the rink. She didn't like having a guilty feeling for possibly crossing a line. She skated across the rink and extended her arm out, she leaned forward as she lifted off her outside edge. She felt the air leave her body as she rotated four times in the air. She saw the pain in Olivia's eyes as she fell to knees again. She clenched her fists. She began to pulse her fists. She didn't want to give Olivia the satisfaction or blame Olivia for a possible urge relapse or have a crying fit. She slammed her fists on the ice as she screamed out loud.

"Alexandra!" Elizabeth walked up to the side. Alex looked at her coach who had just arrived at the rink. She quickly got up and she didn't want to talk to Donnelly. She began to skate laps again. "Alexandra. Can you come here please. We need to talk."

"I don't want to talk."

"If you don't come here I will come to you." Liz needed to figure out what was going on through to help her get out of the funk.

Alex deeply exhaled as she skated to her coach. "What?!" She avoided eye contact with Liz.

"What? What?" Liz asked the attitude. "Can you tell me why you have been off for the last four days." Alex fell silent at the question. "Fine you can't answer my question. Do a double now." She demanded. Alex gave Liz a questionable look. "Just do it."

"Fine." She sighed out as she pushed off the wall. She skated out and built up her speed to jump to do rotations in the air to lean forward on the landing. Alex barely could do a double.

"Alex."

"No it's fine." She moved around the rink to jump a double again.

"Alexandra get off the ice now."

"No I can do this."

"Alex get off the ice." Liz skated over to Alex, "Do you want to break a bone because you are pushing yourself too hard and you are not focused."

Alex slowed down her skating. She was out of breath with her hands on her hips. "I'm focused."

"Not on your skating. Outside off ice practice now." Liz commanded her student. "Or do you want to talk about what is going on? Are you having temptations?" Liz has seen all sides of Alex and knows Alex's signs. Alex gave a hurtful look of denial. "Okay, just making sure. When was the last time you ate?" Alex pacing on skates. Alex couldn't answer that without having any hunger pains and can't remember with her days blurring together. The lack of response, Liz grabbed both of Alex's hands, "Look at me." Liz lifted Alex's chin to finally see the pain in Alex's eyes, "What happened?"

Alex felt like she was losing herself as she was lost in her head and emotions. "I don't know." Alex squeaked out and looked away from Liz not wanting to start crying.

Liz looked around the arena, and back to Alex, "Where's Olivia?" Alex bowed her head fighting her tears and shook her head. "Did she do something to you?"

"No." she sniffled and finally looked back at Liz. "I tried, but she turned me down, and I haven't heard from her since." Alex confessed.

"Alexandra." Elizabeth's heart sunk seeing her skater lost. She moved in closer for a hug.

Alex pushed away from Liz. "No." She didn't need a hug. She didn't want people to pity her. She skated off the ice to sit down on the bench. She cupped her face with her hands.

Liz followed Alex. She placed her hand on Alex's head as Alex let out a sob. "Alexandra," She sat down next to her heartbroken student. "Have you called her?"

"Yeah, and I went over to her place once and her roommate hasn't seen her." Alex looked at Liz, "What did I do wrong?" She wanted answers.

"Nothing." Liz pulled Alex in for a hug. "Maybe… you need to talk to her directly if she is avoiding you."

"She doesn't want to talk to me."

"Or… She's got a reason. I've seen you together, there has to be an explanation." Liz calmly suggested.

"You've been married for over twenty years. How would you know?" Alex lashed out.

"Because being a coach, I see people and I see how everyone interacts even when they don't know." Liz patted Alex's back.

"Thank you." Alex released the hug. She stood up to walk towards the empty ice.

"Alexandra," Liz grabbed Alex's hand. "I told you not to step on my ice while you are in your head. Outside off ice practice only." Liz commanded, handing her the blade covers.

Alex rolled her eyes at her coach who was looking out for her, "Fine." She grabbed the covers and stormed into the locker room to change her footwear.

Alex was on her phone on her way to outside track. Her heart was pounding as she heard the ring. "Hello?" An unfamiliar voice answered the phone.

Alex was ready to fight someone hearing a woman's voice. "Where's Olivia?"

The lady was sitting on her bed as she looked at the naked Olivia, who was asleep. "I'm sorry she's not awake, I guess she had too much to drink last night."

Alex quickly hung up the phone. As this random person telling her she's been drinking. "Alexandra." Jane walked up to her daughter.

This was a nightmare Alex couldn't wake up from. "Go away mom. I don't want to talk." She picked up her speed to make it to the track to run laps.

"You've been avoiding me,"

"Yeah there is a reason for that." Alex didn't want to deal with her mother.

"I think that your skate was great, I'm sorry for questioning your changes." Jane confessed.

Alex immediately stopped to turn to her mother on alert, "But what? It was great but what didn't I do to make it perfect." She stepped closer to her mother. Alex wasn't in the mood to take any crap from her mother.

"Nothing, I'm sorry I didn't let you grow." Jane touched Alex's hand, "I just think if you stop hanging out with girl, Olivia? You might be able to land your jumps."

Alex knew that compliment would be too good for Jane, "Fuck off mom." She finally made it inside the track.

"Was Abigail or Olivia helping you out with that mouth. They're a bad influence on you." Jane followed Alex as she was stretching her arms. "Olivia is clearly damaging to your image and using you?"

"You don't know her and you don't know my image." Alex didn't want anyone to talk about Olivia even if she doesn't know what is going on with them.

"Alexandra, I built your image, I got your sponsors, I worked endlessly to help pick out your programs, I know your image." Jane stepped closer to her daughter. "If you're being seen around her during the season… people might…"

Alex's heart thinking about Olivia and thinking about her aesthetic. "Might what? I'm with Olivia, what if I am, would that be so wrong?" Alex put her hand up.

"You don't want people to think that about you."

"You know what mom. I do, I want people to assume it about me. Because Your daughter is gay. If I lose sponsors because they find out that's on them." Alex was flexing her fists once again. "And you can't accept that, get out of my life."

"Alex." Jane was stunned by Alex's comment.

All of the frustration and confusion about Olivia was being rightfully projected on her mother. "I mean it, if you can't accept me truly for who I am. Don't show up for practices, don't come to nationals, and when I make the Olympic team don't come to them either. You didn't do me any favors."

Alex put her headphones in, to tune Jane out. She smiled as she felt good finally telling off her mother. She began running laps.


Alex was woken up in the middle of the night with her phone ringing. "Hello?"

"Hey, Alex can you come down here?" Rafael was at work talking to Alex through the loud music.

Alex popped out of bed, "Why? I have training in three hours." She looked at the alarm clock.

Rafael was looking on the dancefloor at Olivia dancing in the crowd doing shots. "Alex, I've never seen Olivia like this, and she won't talk to me."

Alex's heart bled hearing Olivia isn't doing well, and maybe she was overreacting, "Rafa, She's not talking to me. She won't return my calls."

"Please, maybe if she sees you in person you can get through to her." He begged the one person who could possibly get Olivia to listen.

"Ok… Okay I'm coming." Alex quickly got dressed and headed towards the club.


Alex walked into the loud club. She walked up to Barba's bar. Barba pointed at Olivia. Alex saw Olivia holding a beer and dancing around the stage. Alex never saw Olivia in such a manner.

Alex approached Olivia who sat down on the stage. "Olivia." Alex touched her knee.

Olivia turned to Alex. She hasn't seen those beautiful eyes in over a week. "Hey, Alex what are you doing here? You have practice tomorrow."

Alex took the beer bottle out of Olivia's hand, "What are you doing?" She looked in Olivia's glazed over eyes.

"I'm having a good time, want to join the fun?"

"I don't think that is a good idea." Alex not knowing what to do with Olivia's condition.

"Yeah we're just having fun." A random girl placed her arm around Olivia.

Alex watched Olivia smirked at the attractive redhead. She was still out for Olivia's blood to tell her off. "And I said this is a bad idea. She's done." Alex looked at the girl square in the eyes. "So Back! Off!" Olivia couldn't think clearly. The room was fuzzy and spinning. She only could see Alex's face clearly. She thought Alex was so sexy especially with the bark she had in her.

"Don't you think that's for Olivia to decide?" The redhead questioning the sober blonde.

"Sorry Ladies, this one owns me." Olivia slurred out, "I should listen to her." Olivia looked at the blue eyes reaching her hand out.

Alex couldn't be mad at the brown eyes and she clearly needed help. "Come on we're going home." She helped Olivia off the stage, to walk out of the club.


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