Chapter Six
She woke early the next morning and snuck down the hall to the far bathroom. Tommy was used to her insanely early wake up times and basically ignored her alarm now. Hopefully he wouldn't wake up enough to think about how odd it was that she would set an alarm for today. They had both agreed to treat this week like a mini-vacation- which meant no alarms. She owed Gayle for how quickly she had picked up on what she needed. The woman had saved just a bit of her sanity yesterday and now she needed to save her own sanity for the rest of this trip.
She set the timer on her phone and waited. They had agreed to start trying again when they got back from California, but it seemed like they may have gotten a bit ahead of themselves. Her first indication had been scrolling through her Glow app and realizing she was slightly late. Throwing up the last few mornings was the second signal that she could not ignore. She hoped that he would be happy. She needed him to be happy.
"Babe- let me in," Tommy muttered as he gently knocked against the door. He had woken a bit when she got out of bed and quickly realized he would only get back to sleep after he'd gone to the bathroom. She scrambled to grab the test and then opened the door to let him in. "You okay?"
"Yeah," Kim whispered and she sat down on the edge of the bathtub. She felt the nausea starting to build and leaned her head down closer to her knees. She heard the timer start to sound and ignored it. She needed to focus on keeping her supper in place for the moment.
"What are you timing?" Tommy asked as he swiped to dismiss the alarm. She felt her cheeks redden at about the same time that the urge to throw up over took her and she pushed him out of her way to get to the toilet, the pregnancy test clattering to the floor. "Kim…shhh…you think it's a stomach bug?"
She watched as he picked up the test and paused. His eyes flicked to hers and she tried to say something, but felt the bile rising again. She heard him wet a rag and felt him place it on the back of her neck before he left the bathroom. Where was he going? Why hadn't he said anything? She willed herself to her feet and started to follow him out of the bathroom. She stumbled in to the wall as she walked by feel to their room. She needed to know what he knew. She needed to know why he had left so abruptly. She felt her legs giving out and inelegantly lowered herself to the floor, leaning heavily against the wall.
"Hun- why are you…I went to grab my glasses," Tommy whispered as he scooped her up and carried her back to the bathroom. The motion upset her stomach, but the smell of him so close to her calmed it. She had found out last time that his smell did the same thing. "I didn't want to misread this."
"What does it say?" Kim asked as her voice broke. He had placed her back on the edge of the tub and settled himself between her legs, where she could lean against him. The silence seemed to drag on as she waited for him to decipher the test. She was surprised as his lips quickly pressed against hers and he hauled her in to his chest. "Tommy…"
"We are. We are," Tommy breathed into her ear and she felt the tears begin to flow. She could hear that he was crying as well and when the first sob came, she didn't try to hide it. His eyes found hers and she was so grateful that he didn't force her to talk, he didn't make her say what she felt. It was far too complicated to put in to words right now. "Do you need to throw up again? Or can I take you back to bed?"
"I need to sit for a little longer," Kim whispered and she felt him settle down next to her and she leaned against him. He had always been a rock for her. She needed him to still be able to be that rock as she came to terms for what this really meant for them. Last year- this had been necessary to survive. Now, it was the thing she had heard him pray about for months. She had not mentioned how often she heard the prayers in the middle of the night when he calmed himself back to sleep after another nightmare, but one line always stuck with her. "Let us both heal enough that we can have the family and life we dreamed about, that she'll willingly carry my baby again."
"You…you heard me?" Tommy forced out and she barely nodded, closing her eyes as another wave of nausea overtook her. "I…"
"You knew I needed to heal when I hadn't realized it yet," Kim murmured as she turned to nestle in closer to him and felt herself drifting back off to sleep as his warmth seeped in to her body. She was vaguely aware of movement, but mostly just felt the peace of him holding her this tightly. It was a peace she felt with no one else.
"Nothing will happen to the two of you this time. I promise," Tommy whispered against her lips before giving her a quick kiss and crawling in next to her. He was going to be a father.
He was going to be a father.
