Alex and Jane walked into the arena. Alex had a cup of coffee in her hand and a bagel she's been carrying since they left the house. "Thank you for the ride."
"Anything for my champion." Jane smiled. She looked at the Peter Stone banner, "Do you know how long this is going to be up."
"I don't know until he leaves this place." Alex sighed out not like sharing the spotlight.
"Well it's a good thing you stopped playing with… your friend…" Jane refused to say Olivia's name.
"Yes." Alex cleared her throat. "She just weighed me down."
"Exactly, you don't have time to be in foolish relationships at this point in time. Your goal now that you're missing the finals is to get nationals again then the Olympics."
Alex's skin crawled as her mother called Olivia a foolish relationship. She messed up with Olivia. Olivia who hasn't called her all weekend. "Yes." She gave a half smile to her mother. "I'm going to get changed. I'll see you later."
She walked into the locker room. She threw her bagel into the trash. She swung her locker open. She looked at the pictures hung in her locker that she recently added. A picture of her with Olivia during the fundraiser. Three days without her girlfriend and she has a scattered brain. Alex picked up the phone to see the lack of text messages or incoming calls. She called Olivia. Her nail dugged into her thumb as she heard each ring. The voicemail picked up, "Hey Liv," Her voice shook, "Look I said some things and I think we need to talk. I'll be at the rink all day. Okay hopefully I can see you later? I… I love you." Alex hung up the phone as her thumb began to bleed.
Alex walked out of the locker room in her work out clothes. She smiled with the smell of ice. The sun hasn't risen yet but she was wired to be out on the ice. Four weeks was too long. She put music on the speaker through her phone. She glided on to the ice. She skated at full speed. She prepared for her first jump since Skate America. She reached forward and slammed the toepick into the ice as her thigh pushed her up into the air. She rotated four times in the air landing on her right foot. She smiled knowing how great it felt to land a jump clean.
Alex heard hands clapping. She stopped as she looked towards the sounds. She saw Peter walking into the rink. "What are you doing here?"
"Well this is my ice time." Peter said with a smirk.
"No, I have the ice to myself before nine." Alex skated to the wall.
"Well you've been out of practice. And Liz isn't here yet."
"I'm right here. Now I need you two to listen and listen good." Liz said coming in the area with a cup of coffee and turned off the music. "You two are both champions."
"Some have more medals than others." Peter laughed.
"Enough." Liz cut off Peter. "I'm not here to sooth your egos. And I'm going to be in the middle of a pissing contest. One you two will never be in competition with each other so cut it out. Two you need to support each other because being a team is more important. Three, the Holiday show is going to happen in four weeks and you two are going to do a number together. This is coming from Branch." Liz went over the list to cut the bull shit between the two.
"We're not pairs."
"No but having the two national champions in one rink. You will do this, maybe it will help you get along." Liz smiled. "Now you two will share the ice today. Alex I want to see a run through of your short. Peter twenty laps for a warm up."
Peter smirk at Alex, "Don't fuck up."
"As long as you stay out of my way." Alex snapped.
Liz rotated working with each skater. The two got off the ice for a brief break as the rest of the skaters arrived.
"You know you're not too bad out there." He stated as he sat down next to Alex with a bag of trail mix and string cheese.
"Thanks, you're pretty good too." Alex smiled. "Can I ask you a personal question?" Alex was watching the novice skaters step on to the ice.
"Maybe?"
"Sleeping around and never commit to a relationship. Is it worth it?" Alex was quite sincere on her questioning.
"I never have someone weighing me down. I only have me and myself to rely on. And it's worked so far."
"But being able to share those victories with someone?"
"Sure it would be nice but I have to know the person I'm with supports me and me alone." Peter explained. "Does this have something to do with that you brought by the other day?"
"Who?" Alex was playing dumb.
"The same girl that was here talking to Trevor and Liz on Friday." Peter was always blunt with his answers.
"Maybe… I… don't know." She began to fidget her fingers as she was getting personal with Stone.
"Well she seemed pretty upset when she was talking to them." Peter informed. "But if she doesn't have the best interest for your career I would say ditch her. Women can come and go. But people would kill have your talent, and have your career." He stood up.
Alex stood up next to him, "You know you're not such a pain in the ass that you put out." She looked at him.
"And you're not a stuck up ice princess that you put out." He stuck his hand out. "Truce?"
Alex put her hand in his, "Truce." They head to the ice.
Alex walked into Olivia's work. She looked around for her girlfriend. Barba pointed her in the direction of Olivia. She walked up to the bar Olivia was behind.
"Hey," Alex greeted. Olivia ignored Alex. "Can we talk?" Olivia served a couple people. "Look I'm sorry."
Olivia finally looked at Alex, "For what?" Alex froze with a response in front of everyone. Olivia knew they needed to talk. She stepped around the counter. "Let's go."
Olivia walked Alex to the outside alley where they took their breaks. Olivia stood in front of Alex with her arms crossed. "Look I'm sorry for saying you're just a bartender."
"And?" Olivia said, hoping to further the conversation.
"And no And, I was hoping you would apologize for trying have an intervention when it wasn't needed."
"I'm not going to apologize when I'm watching you become self-destructive." Olivia stepped closer to the blue eye blonde. "And I did the only thing I know how to do."
Alex held Olivia's hands. She needed to be touched by Olivia after not feeling her for three days, "I think you're becoming a little paranoid and you want to see things that aren't there." She softly explained.
"I'm not paranoid. I can see the signs even if you want to deny it." Olivia stated. She played with Alex's soft hair and locked eyes with her favorite blue eyes. "I love you, but I need you to be happy and healthy."
All of Alex's stress went away looking in Olivia's eyes. "I'm happy. I skated my heart out today and I felt so good." She smiled.
Olivia looked down at their hands as she traced Alex's hand. "You're happy?" She opened Alex's fist. She traced the fresh wound on her thumb. "If you're so happy, why did you do this?" She looked back into the blue eyes.
Alex was at a loss of words and she couldn't explain it. She clenched her fist once again. She stepped back. "You don't get it." She sighed out as she turned away from Olivia.
"Okay, what don't I get?" Olivia calmly asked.
Alex needed Olivia with her but she also needed to do things her own way. "This is my life," Alex snapped, as she turned to Olivia. "I know how to handle my stress, and I don't need you to tell me how to deal with it."
"Are you sure about that?" Olivia asked. "Self inflicting wounds isn't dealing with stress properly."
Alex scoffed as she tried to deflect the comments, "Why am I going to listen to someone who doesn't do her passion. I have worked my ass off for years to get where I'm at. Forgive me for being in a slump. It's a slump that will pass just like it always does. Have you ever worked for something since you were two to be where you are at?" Alex's nose flared knowing she would eventually be okay, especially after this morning's practice.
"No, I have never worked for anything in my life."
"Right because knowing you have a gift of photography, you enjoy doing it. But instead of taking risks and doing what you love you stay here. So why should I listen about how I deal with my stress. And instead of talking to me about it you go to my coach and family." Alex snapped.
"Because you weren't talking to me! What did you want me to do?" Olivia raised her voice at Alex for the first time of the day. "I've watched an addict deal with their demons since I was a kid. I'm not going to watch the person I care for go down that hole again." She stepped closer to Alex. "Yeah I have my own issues." She confessed that Alex was right that she doesn't know why she doesn't start a career in photography. "And Forgive me for caring for you." Olivia grabbed her hand once again, "I don't want to see anything bad happen to you. I love you Alex, you mean the world to me."
"I love you too." Alex closed her eyes to hold her composer with Olivia being honest. "You're right I didn't open up. But I'm not your mother."
"I know, can you please talk to someone?" Olivia softly asked. "Because you're scaring me."
Alex nodded to Olivia's statement. "I know, I know what I'm doing." Alex confessed as she looked in Olivia's eyes with her watery eyes. "But I can't stop." She whispered. Olivia never heard her mother admit to having a problem. This was a big step for Alex to admit. "I need you Olivia." She confessed.
Olivia pulled Alex in for a hug, "Well this is step one. Please tell me you are going to talk to your therapist."
Alex wiped her eyes and nodded, "I will."
"I love you Alex."
"I love you too, please don't give up on me just yet."
