Chapter 11
She was in the barn this whole time and none of us ever had a clue; the hours we spent looking for her were for nothing. Her doll, the abandoned farmhouse, the blankets, the empty can of sardines, it meant nothing anymore. We were all in stunned silence as Rick stepped forward with his gun raised, the sound it made snapping us all back to reality. Her mom wrestled herself away from me and straight to where her daughter fell.
I got off the ground feeling so defeated that I sought the comfort and silence of the woods. Now that we all know what happened to Sophia there really wasn't much of a reason for me stay anymore, maybe Claire would take me in; her reaction was just gonna be something I'd have to put up with if she'd have me. I followed my footsteps back to the oak tree where I first found her a few days ago but something was just off.
The screen door slammed against the side of the house but instead of Claire walking out it was some guy, probably just out of high school, zipping his pants up and adjusting his belt. He had a look of satisfaction on his face as he slicked his hair back with one hand. Stepping off the porch he whistled and I swore I could've heard him say something about her having a tight pussy. Clair wasn't the kind of person to go fucking every dick she saw and those bruises she had on her face was enough to have me suspect that it wasn't consensual.
She came out a few minutes later with a gun in her hand; she made sure the door never made a sound as she stepped off the porch. She never said a word as she raised the gun and fired off all six shots, dropping him like a ton of lead. It was hard for me to watch the scene unfold and even harder to not make myself known. After she unloaded the pistol into this guy, I watched her roll him onto his back and use the butt of the gun to bludgeon his face until there was practically nothing left.
I made the mistake of stepping on a twig, almost giving myself away, but I should've known she'd hear it.
"I know you're around here somewhere you sick motherfucker! Fucking show yourself you goddamn coward! You think raping and beating women is the way you make it in this world? Well it ain't! You can do your worst to me but in the end I'll fucking kill you just like I did your friend!"
A fresh bruise and scratches on her neck were evident as she screamed into the silence. It never occurred to me that this sort of thing would be happening so fast after things went to shit but I guess there are no rules anymore. I continued to watch her every movement, she was so close I could almost smell the soap on her skin, but I decided to head back to Hershel's farm after I watched her drag the body across the yard and tie it to one of the porch railings, as a warning I guess.
After an hour I was out of the woods and at the flap of my tent wishing I had brought her back with me, no one else had to know she was there. There was screaming and chaos going on at the house but it wasn't any of my business, I did my part, I did what I needed to do to try and find that little girl, they don't need me for nothing anymore. It's best that I pack up and head out in the next few days, can't get too comfortable in one place. Just as I had made the decision to leave Lori made herself known asking me to go into town to find Rick – something about the farmer's daughter going catatonic and just in shock. I refused though; I was done being their damn errand boy, if she wants him back that bad she can go look for him herself. None of them are my problem anymore.
As night began to fall I made a small fire to cook off one my squirrels and to help keep the cold away. Fall wasn't too far off and these ripped up flannel shirts weren't gonna do me much good. But as I sat in front of the fire, staring at the meat waiting for it to finish cooking, I couldn't stop the thoughts that entered my mind as to what I witnessed Claire doing earlier in the day. The way she just shot that man to death and then beat him was just…
"We can't find Lori and the others aren't back yet either."
"That dumb bitch must've gone off looking for 'em."
"What?"
"Yeah, she asked me to go. I told her I was done being an errand boy."
"And you didn't say anything?"
I stayed quiet as I poked around the fire, trying my best to keep it low and go back to my thoughts when Sophia's mom started walking away but she was back within seconds with something else to say.
"Don't do this, please. I've already lost my girl."
"That wasn't my problem neither!" I couldn't stop myself from jumping up from the log I was seated on. That bitch gave up on her daughter after all time I put in to try and find her and this is how she-
It was just better to walk away before I did something really stupid.
The hours passed in silence as I finally retreated back to my tent; the sun would be coming up on the horizon soon but it wasn't soon enough. I needed to leave before something else happened but I made up my mind that I wasn't gonna leave until I least talked with Claire to let her know I'm alive and that she could come with me if she wanted. No clue where I was headed but anywhere had to be better than this farm. A figure in the darkness though scouting my most recent kills had me on alert though.
"What are you doing?"
That girl's mom was back for more, guess she didn't hear me the first time.
"Keeping an eye on you."
"Ain't you a peach."
"I'm not gonna let you pull away."
This speech is starting to sound awfully familiar, just not the same voice.
"If you spent half your time minding your daughter's business instead of sticking your nose in everybody else's she'd still be alive!"
Her nerves were steeled as she looked me dead in the eye after another one of our arguments and all she had to say was 'go ahead.'
"Go ahead and what?" but she said nothing. "Just go! I don't want you here!"
The more I screamed, the more in her face I got, it was like she wasn't even scared of me anymore. She knew I'd never put my hands on her but I knew she hated it when I'd raise my voice or act like I was gonna do something.
"What, you gonna make this about my daddy or some crap like that? You don't know jack! You're afraid."
"And so are you Mr. Tough Guy. We could make this about your daddy but I don't see his rotting corpse up and walking around so that leaves just the two of us, Daryl. You're afraid that I'll leave, afraid of being alone, afraid of having to face a reality that when I'm gone you'll have no one to blame other than yourself for pushing away the only person who gave a damn about you. When that reality does hit, it'll hit hard and when you least expect it. Doctor McDaniels, you're right, this marriage is not worth saving and I'm sorry that I tried so hard. You can tell the judge that I want this marriage dissolved as quickly as possible when you turn in your report."
She got up from her chair and walked out the door.
Dawn was finally breaking when I decided to get up. The fire by the RV was turning into embers and ash when Shane came up on me asking me to help join the search party to bring back Rick and the others. It wasn't something I really wanted to do but I told myself that after this last search that I was done with them and heading out on my own. Shane and I were loading up one of the cars getting ready to head out when we saw a rusty red rooftop appear over the fences. Looks like we didn't have to go out afterall and I could just leave now that they're back.
"Who the hell is that?"
I watched as Rick, Glenn, and Hershel climbed out of the truck but with T-Dog asking questions, it piqued everyone's interest and had me a little on edge.
"That's Randall."
I couldn't do anything except walk away once again. I knew I'd be saying shit left and right that wouldn't make no sense to anyone. By the time I calmed down enough to re-join the others I found them all in the house talking about that Randall kid, just catching the tail end of Andrea saying something about leaving him for the walkers.
Maybe that's what they should've done last night instead of bringing him here.
Days turned into nights before it was finally time to send that kid on his merry way and good riddance too. The plan was for Rick and Shane to drive him out eighteen miles and leave him with a few supplies and weapon. We were told they'd be back by sundown and when they finally returned it was with Randall in the trunk.
"He knows Maggie."
It sent shockwaves and panic through all of us and I was tasked to find out just how much he knew not only about Maggie but this place and everything surrounding it. Shane and I dragged him to the barn, tying him up so that he couldn't get away before I was done with him. I hit him as hard as I could trying to get information out of him but when that didn't work, I started going for body parts.
"I told you-"
"You ain't told me shit!"
"I barely knew those guys, I met 'em on the road."
Something about the way he was talking though had me thinking otherwise.
"How many in your group?" but when he refused to answer, I knew that there were probably more than we could handle and numbers like that had our backs against the wall. He perked up a bit though as I slid my knife from the sheath on my right hip.
"How many?!" I lunged at the kid, stabbing the knife into the wooden floor of the barn just missing his leg, so that he knew I meant business.
"Thirty, thirty, thirty guys."
"Where?"
Again, he refused to answer so I ripped the bandage from his leg, exposing the scab that was trying to form knowing how much pain it would cause to have that sucker taken off
"I don't know, I swear! We were never anyplace for more than a night."
"Scouting? Planning on staying local?" The tip of my knife was sliding against the bloody scab with ease as I placed myself on the edge of a cliff I knew I could never come back from if I followed through with my intentions.
"I don't know, they left me behind."
"Did you ever pick off a scab? Start real slow at first, sooner or later you've just gotta rip it off."
"Okay, okay, they have weapons-" now we're getting somewhere, "-heavy stuff, automatics, but I didn't do anything!"
"Your boys shot at my boys, tried to take this farm, you just went along for the ride? You trying to tell me you're innocent?"
Nah, he's the furthest thing from innocent, he's got a killer hidden behind his eyes, he's done some shit.
"Yes! These – these people took me in. Not just guys – a whole group of 'em. Men and women, kids too – just like you people. Thought I'd have a better chance with them, ya know? But, we go out, scavenge – just the men. One night we –we found this little campsite, a man and his two daughters, teenagers, ya know? Real young…real cute."
His voice changed as he started digging into his memory and that's when it hit me that even though I didn't see him at Claire's place, his people were there and they were ones I saw her kill. He didn't need to go into detail about what they did to her or those two girls but I decided to let him talk so that I knew what all Claire had gone through, even though he wasn't talking about her.
"Their daddy had to watch while these guys, they- and they didn't even kill him afterwards. They just – just made him watch as his daughters…they just-just-just left him there. But I didn't touch those girls!"
He begged for me to believe him but I couldn't and didn't. All of the rage I had built up as he remembered what he did to those girls I let it out on him – kicking and punching until his face swelled like a balloon. I wasn't allowed to kill him just yet but it was just a matter of time before they'd let me finish the job.
I left him shackled in the barn with nowhere to go and replaced the padlocks to the barn doors ensuring that he couldn't get out and run back to his group. This farm, and Claire's, wasn't far from town and if they were looking for him they'd be bringing hell with them. I made my way across the fields to where the RV was parked with what little information I was able to gather but it may not be enough for us to come up with a plan of attack.
"Boy there's got a gang, 30 men. They got heavy artillery and they ain't looking to make friends. They roll through here, our boys are dead and our women, they're gonna wish they were."
"He's a threat-"
Huh, guess the cowboy finally grew a pair of balls to fill that empty sack with and realized now's the perfect time to protect what we have. I delivered what information I had then went back to my tent to clean this asshole's blood off my hands and get ready for whatever the final decision was, maybe make a few new arrows while I had the time.
But then Dale found me next to a burnt out house where the only thing left standing was a chimney.
"The whole point of me coming up here is to get away from you people."
"Gonna take more than that."
I knew I should've just packed my shit and left after we buried Sophia.
"Carol send ya?"
"Carol's not the only one that's concerned about you, your new role in the group."
"Oh, man, I don't need my head shrunk. This group's broken. I'm better off fending for myself."
"You act like you don't care."
"Cause I don't."
"So live or die, you don't care what happens to Randall?"
"Nope."
"Then why not stand with me? Try to save the kid's life, if it really doesn't matter one way or the other?"
After a while Dale left and I sat stewing in my thoughts. I wasn't lying when I told him that it didn't matter to me one way or the other but decided to head down to the house around sunset to hear the verdict even though I already knew what it was going to be. This kid was a threat and threats needed to be eliminated, after everything he told me in the barn it was more than clear what had to be done. He may not have done anything to those two girls but he didn't do anything to stop whatever happened. And if there more of 'em hanging around in the area then ain't no one here safe.
