"Wake up! Can't be late two days in a row!," Jeff shakes my bed.
Oh god! No... I groan and sit up in bed. "Do I have to go?," I stretch my arms above my head.
"Yes," Clint and Jeff respond in unison.
I roll my eyes and stand, stretching once more before leaving the hut. "Bye."
There aren't too many people up yet thankfully. I see Zart make his way over to the Garden and wave as I step into the kitchen. Another day, I breath deeply. Siggy gives me my tasks: fetch the water, peel the potatoes, start the fire pit. Siggy is nice to me, he makes me laugh and I like working with him. Whenever I make a mistake, he takes the time to show me how to do it right, never raising his voice. Once lunch comes, Joe steps in and I leave quickly before being asked for one more favor.
The rest of the day to myself... what do I want to do? Without really thinking, I find myself walking through the Deadhead. I purposely veer left to steer clear of the graveyard, spotting a sapling with bright red leaves. Wow... I walk towards it. It was about twice my size, but small compared to the trees around it. I touch the rough white bark of it's skinny trunk, a chunk peeling off into my hands. It felt like a jagged piece of paper, I let it slip from my grip and tumble to the ground. What a pretty tree. Wind swept the ground, the leaves dancing away while the sun light streamed through the canopy above. It's so beautiful, I thought to myself.
The snap of a branch calls my attention to the left, it had to be someone. Not very private, I thought. A flash of blonde hair passes through the trees, Ben? I follow where it leads and see Ben making his way towards the graveyard. Where is he going? I stalk him silently, careful not to step on anything to give myself away until he stops in front a grave. Nick's grave. Ben just stands, he doesn't sit or say anything, just watches in silence. A few minutes pass before he turns to leave, I don't have enough time to hide so he sees me behind the trunk of the tree.
I let out a small gasp as his eyes widen, "G-... What are you doing here?"
"Oh... I was just strolling through," I lie," I saw you and... and I...," I let my sentence fall.
"I was just walking through too," he responded, which was also a lie.
"Oh... I was just surprised to see you. I thought you'd be in the maze," I walk out from behind the tree trunk.
"We came back early," he walked over to me. "Surprised you aren't in the kitchen with Frypan."
"I work mornings," I tell him. Our conversation seemed simple, but I felt like there was something else, something he was hiding.
"Oh, that's nice of Frypan."
"Joe works the dinner shift."
"Must be nice...," Ben shuffles his feet.
"Ben... are you alright?"
He sighs and drops his head," I-I just can't stop thinking about Nick," he admits.
"I understand. He was your friend."
"Yeah, it's not the same place without him." I nod, not sure how to add to the conversation. "I've known him for as long as I've been here. When I got here, he was in charge, the leader," Ben ruffles his hair. "He was always so confident, like he knew nothing bad was ever going to happen to the Glade. I tried to be like him, I wanted to be confident too, a leader... but now...," Ben stops.
"I'm sure he was a great man," I wrap my arms around myself as another wind blows through the trees.
"He was. But now he's gone."
"But he had great friends like you, who remembers him fondly."
"I've never seen anyone die before," he says in a voice above a whisper.
"I'm sorry you had to see that," I brush the hair from my face.
Ben grunts with a sad smile," I remember saying that to you."
I gave a small smile in return," But I wasn't close to Nick like you were."
Ben nods and we start walking away from the graveyard," What are you doing out here? Going to fall asleep again?," he glances over with a devilish grin, but his eyes held no joy.
"Oh, you heard about that?"
"There are no secrets in the Glade.'
"No... I was just out here thinking...," I wrap my jacket tighter around me.
"I'm sorry," Ben says sincerely.
"Why?"
"I know how badly you want to know..."
"Yeah," I look at my feet. "I'm starting to give up," I admit.
"I don't think you should."
I scoff," Ben, I've been here for almost two weeks and it's still a mystery."
"There's still time," he says looking down at me.
"Yeah, I know... but how long should I wait? I don't want to wait for something that will never come."
We both steer left as we see the treeline, not quite ready to leave the safety of the canopy. We silently circle back around and I see my small red tree, before we walk past, I stop and sit down. Ben doesn't question it and sits a few feet away, crossing his legs and picking up a dead leaf.
"I like this tree," I say aloud, stroking one of the small red leaves.
"It's very pretty," Ben agrees.
"Ben?"
"Yeah."
"Remember when you said I should pick my own name?"
He doesn't say anything right away," Yeah... I remember."
"Maybe I should...," I say without turning to see his reaction.
"Yeah... maybe. Who knows, maybe a new Greenie will trigger something. I still think... you should wait."
"Yeah, you're probably right."
We don't speak again until Ben suggests we head back to the Homestead for dinner. I stand and follow him, looking back at the small red tree. At dinner I go and sit with Jackson, avoiding Newt again, forgetting the promise I made to myself the night before. Why can't I look at him?!
"Hey there, Newbie," Jackson smiles as I sit beside him. "You already know Billy and Aidan, right?" Billy was a red headed kid with a large stomach that stuck under the hem of his shirt. He's that kid who took me to the Slammer. He nodded to me, acknowledging my existence before taking a big swig of his drink. Aidan was a think boy with a shaved head and a small over bite, I saw him go to dig Nick's grave...
"Yeah, hi guys."
"Oh gosh," Jackson swallowed remembering something," You are so lucky you told me about your whole running thing. I told Billy right before he saw you charge through the Garden," he laughed.
"Oh yeah," Billy joined in laughing, "I was about ready to tackle you."
The whole table laughed, so I forced a chuckle. "I'm glad you didn't."
The Baggers then dived into a different conversation while I ate my food quietly, making sure to laugh or smile when someone glanced my way. Through the crowd of boys, I saw Newt walking towards me. Oh no! Oh no! Maybe he'll walk right by. He smiled to me as he approached and I swallowed my water before it dripped from my mouth. What is wrong with me?
"Just thought I would remind you not to fall alseep in the Deadhead," he grinned and crouched at our table.
My heart sped up and my throat felt dry, despite the fact I literally just swallowed some water. "Don't worry, I learned my lesson."
"I'm glad to hear that," he smiled, then whispered," No more bloody heart attacks," before standing and waving goodbye to the Baggers.
My heart started beating again, it felt like it had stopped. How does he do that?!
"Didn't know you and Newt were such good friends," Jackson spoke, taking another bite.
"I'm friends with everyone," I give a weak smile before standing again and leaving for the showers. "See you later."
This shower was long, I let the water run until it starting thinning into a dribble. I guess that's my cue, I stepped out. I fluffed my hair and walked the dark path back to the Med hut. Should I even bother jogging? My name won't come... But it still feels too early to give up. Maybe Ben is right, I should wait for the new Greenie. I start off with a brisk jog through the Deadhead and then sprint the rest of the way around the Glade.
