I felt normal, I still looked the same, but I was worried that other people saw me differently. Do they all think I'm with Jackson?, my paranoia was wrestling with my sanity. I should ask someone... See if they heard the rumor. Not Jackson, he would have told me, maybe I'll ask Ben. After work, I found Ben in the Homestead, he was carving a piece of wood before I caught his eye.

"Hey," he smiled. "What's up?"

"Hi," I sat on the hammock across from him.

"Is it midday already?," he asked looking outside.

"Yeah, you missed lunch."

He shrugged," That's okay. I can wait for dinner, not like I need the energy or anything," he said with a smile.

I couldn't smile back, my nerves were on edge. "Hey Ben..."

"Yeah," he replies, turning back to his carving.

"Uhm.. well, you are... you are like one of my closest friends here," I admit to him and he smiles again while continuing chipping away.

"Thanks, I think you're a great friend too."

"And... I don't really know who else to ask about this..."

Ben shifts in his hammock, his face looked uneasy. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"I-I don't know how to say it..."

"Say what? Just tell me," his green eyes large and ready for whatever I have to tell him.

"I just... Well...," I fiddle with the ends of my hair," I'm curious if you've heard anything about me..."

"Heard anything about you?," he repeated.

"Yeah."

"Like what?"

Ugh... don't make me say it. "I don't know... anything?"

His eyes drift back to his block of wood and he doesn't say anything. "Have you heard something?," he asks quietly.

"In a way," I bite my nail. "I heard that the Baggers were saying something..."

"Oh," Ben nods," Then I wouldn't worry about it," he brushes the subject off.

"What? Really?"

"Oh yeah," Ben chuckles. "The Baggers are always saying things, no one around here really puts any stock into what they say."

"Seriously? Aren't they like the patrol people?"

Exactly," Ben sits up and we are facing each other. "Nothing ever happens here in the Glade, so they tend to make some stuff up, make it sound more exciting," he shrugs. "An now that we have a girl, they have whole new material..."

"Oh," I look at my lap," So you did hear what they said..."

Ben sighs," Yeah, I heard it... but I know it's not true."

"Thanks Ben." I strangely felt better, Ben knows what he is talking about. He knows the Glade. Maybe I am being paranoid, Jackson and I agreed to drop it, so just drop it "How's the leg?," I change the topic.

"Getting better," he rubs his knee. "Hopefully I can be out in a few days."

"I heard you guys are getting pretty close, close to finding a way out."

"Yeah, feels that way," Ben smiles excitedly.

"Wow, that's really great!"

"Fingers crossed," he laughs.

Talking to Ben was nice and smooth, he made me laugh and I liked his perspective. We talked for awhile, conversation flowing easily as we switched topics, it felt easy. I was laughing at his joke when some Slopper walked into the Homestead and I stopped. What if they think I'm dating Ben now? I stood up abruptly as he walked through the beds to his own across the room.

"You okay?," Ben asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just.. got to go check on something. I'll talk to you later," I give him a reassuring smile before leaving the sleeping quarters.

I don't want things to be weird between Ben and I, just like I don't want it be weird between Jackson and I. I don't want to worry about what other people think but I can't stop. Newt probably thinks I like Jackson, but I don't! OH JUST STOP, I yell at myself as I jog through the misty rain. Newt doesn't like you. That's a good thing. You have to worry about other things, like yourself. You still don't even know your name... I don't even know my name.

The next day it was raining hard, I got up and went to the kitchen, when I got there I was dripping wet. Siggy met me later and told me that it's one of those days that no one will work.

"So we get the day off?"

Siggy let his laugh ring out loudly," That's a good one. I should have said that no one works, except us."

I shrug as I start my prep tasks," If it's so bad, how will everyone get food?"

"We deliver it to the Homested, it's where everyone will be."

"Seriously? How will we deliver all of this?"

"Joseph will come help us," Siggy said," but rain means no fire, so it'll be three cold meals."

We went on working, Joseph joined us a bit later and we delivered the food on a harvest cart that we covered in tarp. Outside was wet and cold but when we entered the Homestead it was steamy and hot. I was choking on the smell of sweat and feet, but no one else really noticed, all the boys mobbed us when they saw the food. Such animals, like they've never eaten in their lives! I saw Ben licking the inside of the bowl before asking for more, I know you've had food before, how are you this hungry.

"Because it's cold meals today, we don;t have to go back until right before lunch," Siggy said before he went to greet his friends.

Oh, so it is like a day off. I look out at the mess of children in front of me, should I just sit back and wait for lunch or should I go talk to someone. Jackson? I saw him with Billy and Aidan, if I go now, then everyone will think the rumors are true. Ben? I saw him laughing with Mihno and Hank, he hasn't been able to spend much time with the Runners, I should let him. I scan the crowd again and see Newt with Zart and Winston, No. Finally I see Gally, but he is sitting on a hammock bouncing a pebble off the floor.

"Hey Gally," I sit across from him.

"Oh," he looks surprised. "Hey Greenie."

"What are you doing?," I point to the pebble in his hand.

"Just passing the time," he bounces it of the floor again.

"Can I try?" Gally passes the pebble to me and I throw it on the ground. It bounces sideways and skitters across the floor. "Oops!," I jump up and get it. "Guess I'm not that good," I pass the pebble back.

"It's not really a skill," Gally replies before bouncing the pebble again.

"I guess...," I sit back on the hammock. Gally doesn't say anything, just bounces the pebble. What's up with him? "Do you wish you were working today?"

"No."

"Why? I thought you liked being a builder?"

"I do," Gally watched the rock hit the ground.

I let the silence stretch before asking another question. "How long does the rainy season last?"

"Two weeks, maybe three."

"What comes next?"

"Planting season."

Maybe he's just cranky? I'll let him be alone.

"Okay, well, bye," I walk away from him and return to the leftover food. Maybe I'll just do the Sloppers job today... I was staring at the cauldron I didn't see Jackson slide up beside me

"Sawing you talking to ole' Gal Pal," Jackson smirks.

"Yeah, but he's acting odd. I think he's tired or something."

"Could be..."

"Could be?"

Jackson shrugs," Or it could be that he thinks we're together."

What? No way! Gally wouldn't think that, would he? "Why would he think that," I shift towards him. "We are acting like friends, so no one should think that."

"Who did you think Billy had told?," Jackson scoffed.

Billy told Gally? "Why would he do that?"

"Probably because Gally has it in for me, they want to push his buttons, the slintheads."

"But I don't see why that would push his buttons..."

"Well it would mean I had something he didn't, a girlfriend."

"That's stupid," I say with a smile. "No way boys are that material."

Jackson shrugs again," Or it could be because he likes you."

Likes me? What? "What?"

"Gally likes you, I mean, I thought it was obvious. Most of the guys here have a crush on you."

"WHAT?," I shout accidentally and few head turn.

Jackson raises an eyebrow," You seriously didn't know? I mean, come one, you're the only girl here. Of course they're going to crush on you."

"So wait, you're saying Gally has a crush on me?"

"Yup," Jakcson pops his p at the end of the word and then turns me with a sly look. "Why? Do you like him back?"

"What!? Of course not!"

"Is that so?," Jackson teased. "So if I went over to him and told him you liked him I would be..."

"Lying!," i stated loudly again beofre looking around quickly and adding,"I don't like him."

Genuine interest sparked in Jackson's eyes," But you do like somebody...," he paused and he eyes popped open and he smiled widely. "You totally do! You can't deny it!"

"Shh! No, I don't!," I covered his mouth with my hand.

He pulled away easily," You so do!," he danced for a second. "I mean, Greenie... if it's me you can be honest. I promise I'll let you down easy," he said with an chuckle.

"Shut up! I don;t like you, we already had that conversation."

"Maybe you wanted to spare my feeling?"

"Maybe not," I crossed my arms.

"Okay, fine. Not me, I'll pretend it doesn't hurt," he winked. "But who is it?"

"Nobody! I don't like anyone here like that. I'm focusing on myself, I still don't have a name yet, if you haven't noticed."

Jackson rolled his eyes," Don't be dramatic and tell me who it is?," Jackson looked out to the crowd. "Is it Siggy?"

"What?! No, I work with him."

"Love has no boundaries. What about Alby?"

"Alby?! No, I barely see him."

"Love doesn't follow your eyes, it follows the heart," he fluttered his eyelashes at me. "Is it Ben?"

"What?! Jackson I already told you I don't like anyone here, so just drop it."

"Hmmmm... interesting response," Jackson rubbed his chin.

I rolled my eyes," Seriously Jackson, it's not Ben."

"If you tell me, I'll stop guessing. Is it Gally?"

"JACKSON!," he turns back to me and I take a deep breath. He will never stop asking... "I can't tell you here. Let's go outside."

"In the rain?"

"Come one!," I tug at his sleeve. We slip out the door undetected and stand close to the building, partially shielded by the roof.

"Tell me! Hurry, it's wet."

I swallowed my guilt. Gosh, what if Jackson judges me for it? Thinks it's stupid? What if he doesn't like Newt?

Well...?," Jackson waited impatiently. Jackson is my friend, I can trust him.

"Promise you won't tell anyone!"

"I promise, of course."

"Not even Bill and Aidan," I questioned.

"Of course not!"

"Okay..," I push my hair behind my ears. "It's... Newt."

Jackson face doesn't change, he doesn't look upset or disappointed. "Oh really? Wouldn't have guessed him... Is it because of the accent?"

"Uhm... no," I feel a blush rise in my cheeks. "I don't know what it is... I just feel so crazy when I'm near him."

"Crazy?"

"Like, I don't know...," I look away," I feel like I want to throw up and run away, but my legs don't work."

"Is that what it's like to like someone?," Jackson asks.

"I don't know... but I don't feel it for anyone else...," my eyes meet his again.

"Why not tell him?"

I scoff," So many reasons! What if he doesn't like me back? What if he laughs in my face? Anyway, I already know he doesn't," I wrap my arms around my shoulders. "He just thinks of me as another Glader...," a pain strikes my heart. "But... I guess it's a good thing. I do need to focus no me, figure it out."

"You'll never figure yourself out, Greenie! We all have that same curse, none of us can figure it out."

"I guess you're right."

"I can try to dig something up, if you want? I can ask him about it."

"NO! NO! That's a terrible idea! No!"

"I'll be discrete, gosh Greenie! Have some faith!"

"You? Discrete?," I laugh.

"I can be when I need to be, you just don't see it."

The thought of knowing something more about where Newt stood was too tempting. At least I know for sure. "Just don't be obvious," I beg him.

"Of course," he agrees. "Now let's go inside, I'm getting wet!"