Teasing Eren Jaeger is something akin to sitting atop a horse and dangling a carrot before it. The horse moves, but makes no real progress towards its goal no matter how far it ventures.

It's a rather cruel thing to do to someone, Erwin is aware. He finds it necessary in this case, though. If Eren so desperately wants Levi's affection, he's going to have to work for it.

Of course, he already has it, but he's not going to figure that out if he keeps holding his tongue and admiring Levi from a distance. Until he musters the courage to finally do so (or, more like until he loses all sense of self-restraint), Erwin is going to keep a tight hold of the stick and continue making this horse trek onward.

Ah, speaking of the horse, here he comes now. He's with Mikasa, who's quietly listening to him talk. Only his eyes look over at Erwin. They harden briefly, only to quickly get masked by neutrality - poorly feigned, as usual.

Erwin does not have the carrot with him, so he sends his underclassman a polite smile.

Eren forces one in return. Seeing his action, Mikasa looks over and smiles kindly at Erwin, too. They continue on their way down the hallway.

Mike eyes him curiously. "What was that about?"

"Nothing interesting."

He and Nanaba exchange suspicious glances.

"Don't worry. You'll find out soon enough."

"That's.. kinda ominous," Nanaba says.

Erwin smiles at her.

She shudders.


He knows he's going to run out of ideas eventually. Were this some other kind of plot, his brain would concoct endless plans to ensure his success. This is a romantic plot, however. Erwin is not very good with romance. The one relationship he attempted to have failed miserably, and he hasn't bothered trying since then. He knows how to flirt, and he likes to think he's rather decent at it, but he doesn't know to be romantic.

It's even more difficult than it could be since the person he's pretending to date is someone who knows him better than the back of his hand. There isn't a lot Erwin can do without Levi noticing or caring. He does not want to be too repetitive, though; that'd be so incredibly boring - and easy to catch on to.

Putting his arm around him is too chaste. That's a friendly gesture he's done plenty of times even before he knew of Jaeger's crush. He needs something stronger.
Shoving Levi against the lockers and making out with him wouldn't be chaste enough - plus the knee he'd get to the groin would be very painful and very embarrassing.
He's going to have to find something between those lines.

"Why do you look like you're scheming?" Levi asks with a quirked brow.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"That just confirms that you are scheming. It better not be something outrageous."

"Outrageous? Since when have my plans ever been outrageous?"

Levi's face is as emotionless as his tone of voice, "You're joking, right? Does the school board reform ring a bell to you?"

Erwin sees Eren out of the corner of his eye. Now's his chance to try something between the lines.

"That wasn't outrageous." He runs a hand along Levi's shoulder and pauses at the nape of his neck.

Invisible daggers already start trying to stab him. Such a shame his skin is too thick to let them break through.

"You stormed the administration building."

"It was effective, wasn't it? The district regulations are significantly clearer and less restrictive now."

Levi rolls his eyes.

"Oh, come on, now. Don't act like my efforts haven't implemented any changes." Erwin slides his fingers upwards, just enough for his fingertips to graze a stubbly occipitalis. "My actions always have a valid reason behind them, and they are certainly never outrageous."

His arm gets pushed away. Levi has a vice grip on it that actually rather hurts, though his hold is only brief. "Whatever. Just leave me out of it." The light pink flush spread over his face is almost unnoticeable. One would have to be paying very close attention to Levi to be able to tell.

Someone who's always staring at him like Jaeger is bound to realize. He's undoubtedly gaping at them right now; a quick glance in his direction proves this theory to be true.

It's quite pleasing that this spur-of-the-moment idea worked. Subtlety is so much more fun than grand gestures. Coming up with more of these will be exciting.

Forgive him, Levi, but you're the star of this show.