Last Time: Easy Company suffers another tremendous loss and Rebecca reaches her breaking point.
"We may not have it all together but together we have it all." - Unknown
Now: Rebecca is taken off the line trying to find her purpose now that she has lost so much.
Chapter 27 - Her Own Kind of Respectable
Rebecca sat in the jeep silently as she was taken off the line. She didn't want to go but she knew Dick and Nix wouldn't let her stay.
So, she agreed to go to the battalion hospital outside the line for some R&R but she wasn't going to be put down as unable to return like Buck. She had to come back.
The jeep approached the small town that was using an old boarding school as the makeshift battalion hospital. Everything was pretty much destroyed around her. All the shops and homes were had bombed out windows and caved in roofs. Even the makeshift hospital had windows that had to be covered with wood and part of the roof with a tarp.
Rebecca stepped out of the jeep and watched as it pulled away, feeling as though a piece of her was going with it. She hated that she had to be forced to go to the battalion hospital instead of on the line where she belonged.
Letting out a sigh of defeat, she swung her duffle bag over her shoulder and walked up to the entrance of the school. From what she could, the school was most likely a private boarding school for the wealthy to send their children.
When Rebecca walked in, and the large wooden doors slammed behind her, she couldn't help but feel like she was in a haunted house. The main entrance was lit with one flickering light and the halls that lead to other parts of the school were so poorly lit that Rebecca could barely see two feet in front of her. All the windows were boarded up so the minimal that existed inside light couldn't escape through the panes of glass and be seen by German bombers up in the air.
It wasn't the light only that made the school so eerie. There were clear remnants of what was once a school all over the place like posters for events, a school calendar, and even pictures of the staff and students and different school events. It was like being in one giant cemetery. A chill went down Rebecca's spine at the thought of how many children might have been killed in the very halls she stood in.
Not wanting to stay another moment in the abandoned entrance, Rebecca began walking around to find some hospital staff. As she walked around, she could see every room was being used for something. What looked like a conference room was turned into an OR, the principal's office was where the head surgeon was occupying, and the dining hall was where a good majority of the patients were.
She had no idea where to go. Were they even expecting her?
As she walked down the corridor to the dining room, Rebecca glanced at the walls, looking at all of the framed pictures of the teachers and faculty. It was eerie walking in an abandoned school at night, alone, go figure. She got to the dining hall and looked around. Most of the men who were there were asleep for the most part.
There were rows of cots with men who appeared to be stable. The only sound that pierced the quiet room was the pained whimpers of soldiers.
Rebecca stood at the doors of the dining hall, looking like a lost lamb in the woods. She had no clue where to go or who to speak to about her appearance.
Finally, a middle-aged nurse dressed in OD's came from a curtained-off portion of the room, scribbled something on her clipboard, and injected something into one of the whimpering soldiers. From what Rebecca could see, the woman had slightly graying hazel colored hair and a kind face but worn face.
Once the nurse was done, she finally caught sight of Rebecca who still stood awkwardly.
"Ah, you must be Captain Clark from the Airborne. I'm Major Elaine Hanks." She said approaching her.
Rebecca was happy to be amongst another woman. It had been so long that Rebecca didn't even notice the golden oak leaves on her shoulders. Taken aback, she promptly snapped a salute.
"Child, there's no need for any of that here. Please, call me Elaine." She chuckled.
"Sorry," Rebecca blushed.
"Don't be, dear. We all have varying officers ranks here but we seldom call each other by it. Most of the gals here are nurses by trade and we prefer to treat this like any 'ole hospital. It makes it easier to handle that way."
Rebecca could understand. She knew women were only given relative rank in the army anyways.
"Come on, now. I'll show you around."
Rebecca began walking down the dining hall with Elaine, observing everything. It looked like they had pretty decent supplies. There were even clean sheets on the cots.
"As you can see, this is where we keep our stable men who are ready to be taken off to the hospital back in England. But, we just haven't been able to move them, with the air raids and all."
Elaine took Rebecca out of the dining hall and into what appeared to be an old gymnasium.
"This is our ICU. We're doing our best to make sure the men here are constantly watched. I usually have two or three nurses here at a time in case someone codes."
They walked down the gymnasium floor until they stopped at a bed where a petite nurse was, scribbling down something on a clipboard. She was much younger than Elaine and had beautiful blonde hair and stunning blue eyes. Rebecca almost thought she looked like a movie star.
"Florence, this is the Airborne nurse who staying with us for a few days," Elaine began.
Rebecca smiled at the young woman who, once she looked up from what she was doing, grew the biggest smile Rebecca ever saw.
"Oh, my! You're the captain I've heard so much about. It's an honor to me ya!" Florence said in a southern drawl, furiously shaking Rebecca's hand. "I'm Lieutenant Florence Buford. Please, call me Flo!"
Rebecca nervously laughed. It was strange getting such attention from a stranger who was treating her like a celebrity.
"Gosh, I admire you so much!" Florence went on.
"Uh, thank you. It's nice to meet you," Rebecca said shyly, her facing turning bright red.
Elaine shook her head. "Alright, Florence. Don't overwhelm the poor woman. She's probably exhausted."
Florence's smile faded away and her fair skin blushed from embarrassment. "I'm sorry, Captain."
"It's no problem at all, Florence."
"Florence, why don't you show Rebecca to the dormitory and help her get settled in?" Elaine suggested to the starstruck girl.
"Of course, Elaine."
Rebecca followed Florence up to the stairs to the second floor of the boarding school where there were large dorm halls that had rows of beds and wardrobes in between them.
Florence took her to the first empty bed. Rebecca thought she might cry, it was honest to God a bed with real, clean sheets and a pillow. She had been sleeping on the cold ground for so long, Rebecca almost forgot what a bed felt like. She stroked her fingertips across the wool blanket that covered the rack.
"Well, here's your bed, right next to mine. I think you'll like your time here. We're all kind of like a little family. Most of us trained together back in the States. Elaine actually has been in the army for a long time. She's been patching up GI's since the Great War." Florence began, walking over to one of the wardrobes.
Rebecca was impressed, to say the least. She guessed Elaine must have been in her fifties which was impressive enough to still be in the army. The woman must have seen her fair share of horrors going from one world war to another.
"Now, here's a towel and some other toiletries for you. The shower room is right through that door," Florence continued, pointing to a door farther down the dorm and handing Rebecca the towel. "We just got the water working. One of the soldiers who stopped by from battalion was a plumber back home and offered to fix the pipes for us. I'm sure you're just dying to take a shower!"
Rebecca was amazed that the makeshift hospital had so much. Running water was tough to come by nowadays.
"Wow, you guys have everything here."
"Well, it may seem like it, but we've been really rationing a lot lately. It's been difficult for supplies to come through to us. But, we make do." Florence smiled. "Well, I'll let you alone. I know you're here to rest. Enjoy!" The petite southerner said, leaving the dorm.
Rebecca knew exactly what she wanted to do first. A hot shower was in order. She took the towel and toiletries Florence gave her and went into the bathroom.
The first thing Rebecca noticed when she entered the white tiled room was the long row of short sinks and the long mirror above them to the left of the entrance. This was obviously one of the bathrooms for the children. The whole building was once a school, now, it was a hospital for the men ravaged by the horrors of the war. She wondered where they were now if they were safe and with their parents. It was painful to think about the children that were affected by the mess the war left in its path.
To the right of the door was two toilet stalls and in the back was the large shower with multiple water nozzles that were separated by only a wall.
Rebecca walked over to the shower with the soap Florence gave her and took off her clothes. They, like her body, were filthy. She looked at herself and noticed how much skinnier she had become. Her hips protruded out a bit and her ribs were a little more noticeable. She stroked her hand over her collarbone, noticing how it jutted out much more than when she first entered the Airborne
Entering the shower, Rebecca turned on the first head. The water sputtered on and in a few seconds actually became warm. She stepped under the stream, shivering. The hot water felt amazing over her aching bones and skin.
She lathered up and scrubbed the grime away as hard as she could. Her once beautiful brown, curly hair was matted and dried out. She scrubbed and scratched away at her scalp.
In the shower, alone with her thoughts. All she could think about was what Easy was doing right at that moment if more Toccoa men were mauled, butchered, and killed. An overwhelming feeling of guilt flooded Rebecca. There she was enjoying a hot shower while her men froze and suffered.
She scrubbed her skin harder.
Tears rolled down her face as an immense feeling of pain crept into her heart. In the last few days she found out her father had committed suicide and more Easy men died every day. She felt so alone and helpless.
She scrubbed her skin harder, harder and harder until she felt pain. At least she knew the pain meant to she was alive still. And yet, why was she still alive? What made her life more special than any others of the men who got killed. Besides, what did she have to live for anymore? She would trade her life for the countless deaths she witnessed in a heartbeat.
Rebecca rinsed the suds from her body, turned off the water, and wrapped herself in the towel. She walked over to the rows of sinks and looked at herself in the mirror. She was a ghost of her former self. Where there was once vibrant, hopeful eyes now stood dark circles and wrinkles from lack of sleep and stress. Her beautiful olive skin now looked pale and her cheekbones slightly protruded out more.
Glancing around the counter that hung under the mirror, Rebecca saw a cup with scissors, and nail file, and clippers. She eyed the scissors.
Her thin and shaking hand took them. She looked at herself in the mirror again and at the scissors. Rebecca took a shaky hand, picked up a strand of her hair, and opened the scissors in the other hand.
She took the strand to her dark brown hair and put it in between the blades of the scissors ready to cut.
Just as she was about to slice off a chunk of hair, someone came bursting into the bathroom.
"Stop!" Florence cried out. "What are you doing?"
Rebecca looked at the southern nurse who had a look of horror written all over her face.
"It's too long and gets in the way," Rebecca responded, wiping away a wayward tear.
Florence approached her slowly, reaching out a hand. "Let me help you."
Before Rebecca knew it, her long curly hair was now reduced pieces in the sink. She looked into the bathroom mirror and examined her new cut further.
"While I liked your hair long, this is much better than the crime you were about to commit before," Florence sighed.
"Thank you."
The two women walked out of the bathroom and sat on Rebecca's bed.
"Are you okay, Rebecca?" Flo asked, placing a hand on Rebecca's shoulder.
"I'm fine. I just felt like I needed to change things up a bit." She said, forcing a smile out.
Florence looked into the eyes of the broken woman before her. She understood what Rebecca was really doing. Rebecca was dealing with so much trauma she felt she needed to change her look in order to cope.
"I used to be a hairdresser back home in Georgia," Florence began.
"That explains it," Rebecca answered.
"Funny thing is, I never wanted to be a nurse or to join the military." Florence began, folding out the creases in her uniform pants.
"My boyfriend at the time told me he had to break up with me because he had enlisted. And in my infinite wisdom, I decided I would too, to try and follow him in. I thought it would be perfect, we would be together forever. I told him what I'd done and he said to me, 'Florence Buford, you have got to be the stupidest broad I've ever met.' He broke it off with me anyways and it was already too late to go back to being a hairdresser. I was a love-sick, boy-crazy woman with no real prospects. And, now that I look back, this is was probably the best thing I've done." Florence said, wiping away her tears.
"I grew up in an orphanage and never had any real family or direction in my life."
Rebecca felt a little fortunate that she got to have a family at all even though now she was technically an orphan. Meanwhile, Florence told her that her mother left her on the doorstep of the police station when she was 6-months-old. It sort of put everything in perspective for her.
"The girls here became my family and I would do anything for them," Florence continued on.
Rebecca thought to herself. That's exactly how she felt about Easy Company. She would do anything for them and she had to go back before they advanced.
"That must have been so difficult for you," Rebecca said.
"It was, but somehow I managed to get through it and find some purpose in my life. For a long time, I thought my purpose was to find a husband and become a respectable woman who stayed home with the kids while my husband went to work. Now, I know it's to be my own kind of respectable."
Florence's words hit Rebecca hard. Maybe that's what she needed to do to. She had to figure out for herself the work she did was her purpose and her own kind of respectable.
"I hope you don't mind me asking, but, what's it like being out there?" Florence asked.
She didn't know how to answer the question. All the awful things she'd seen came flooding back to her. How could she possibly explain them to Florence?
"I wouldn't wish any of the things I've seen out there on my worst enemy. The more I'm out there, the more of my guys I see get shot and blown up, the more I realize they died in a place they didn't need to be, in a battle over something they didn't understand, in a country that meant nothing them. And every second I'm here, the more I realize I have to get back to them, to my family."
Florence smiled and placed her hand on Rebecca's. "I knew you were going to try and bust out." She laughed.
XXX
Rebecca got up at in the early hours of the morning, packed up her things, and quietly walked past the other sleeping nurses. As she went, Rebecca shook Florence awake who was out like a light. With a few hard shakes, she finally stirred.
"Rebecca, are you leaving?" She asked, groggily.
"Yes, I am, and I just wanted to thank you for everything."
Florence sat up in her bed and pulled Rebecca into a hug. "No, thank you for everything you've done. I hope your boys turn out alright."
Florence went back to sleep when they made their final goodbyes and Rebecca made her way out of the dorm trying her hardest not to wake anyone else up. She made sure not even her footsteps made a sound as she walked down the stairs to the first floor.
It was surprisingly quiet for a field hospital, Rebecca noticed. As she walked she hoped and prayed Elaine and Florence survived the rest of the war.
"Rebecca!"
Suddenly, Elaine came out from seemingly out of nowhere, carrying a box, scaring the bejeezus out of Rebecca. She jumped what felt like ten feet in the air before slapping a hand over her mouth, preventing herself from letting out a shriek.
"Major, I was just going for a walk!" She mentally kicked herself for coming up with such a lame lie. Rebecca was standing there with her duffle bag after all.
Elaine chuckled, putting the box under her arm and placing a hand on Rebecca's shoulder. "Child, you don't have lie. I knew you were going to try and sneak out early. I just figured I would give you some supplies to take back to your men." She said, handing the box over to her.
Rebecca looked in it, admiringly. She was glad for the gesture and that Elaine wasn't going to rat on her for trying to escape.
"There's some bandages, tourniquets, a few syrettes of morphine, a couple of bottles of plasma, and some Kotex for you, dear. I'm sure they aren't supplying you with that kind of stuff out there. I know it's not a lot, but that's all we could spare."
"Thank you, this is amazing."
Elaine quickly brought the girl into a tight embrace. "Now, you take care of yourself. Good luck, and be safe, for God's sakes."
Rebecca nodded and smiled at her.
XXX
Surprisingly, it wasn't that hard for Rebecca to get back to the line. Once she walked out of the hospital, there was a jeep jockey waiting outside of another building.
"I'm making a supply run back to the line. Can you take me?"
The young man perked up in his seat. "Yes, ma'am!"
Rebecca knew Dick and Nix were going to be pissed, but she couldn't possibly stay behind.
XXX
Dick sat on a crate in CP, looking over the recorded losses from the recent shelling. He couldn't believe it. Easy Company was as good as fractured.
"Dick, you're just gonna make yourself go crazy looking at that over and over again," Nix remarked, walking out of the tarped foxhole.
Sighing, he put down the papers, wiped his tired eyes, and sat back against the wall of CP. All Dick wanted right now was to hold Rebecca. The feelings he had for the woman were as strong as ever, more so, now. His old company was dealing with a heavy loss after Toye and Guarnere got hit and Buck being taken off the line. He felt as if he was equal parts to blame for the messed up leadership of Easy. Now, it was screwed up more than ever before. Dick just wanted Rebecca to tell him it was going to be alright, but she was at a field hospital off the line. He hated admitting it, but times were tough and he could at least find some comfort in the feelings he had for Rebecca.
"Christ. You've got to be kidding me." Dick heard Nixon exclaim.
Dick's head out of CP, looking at his friend. "Nix, what's wrong?"
When he looked at what his pal saw, Dick too was filled with surprise. Hopping off a jeep with a box in her hands was Rebecca gently smiling at her two friends.
The two men approached the woman, still in shock. They had barely sent her away twenty-four hours ago and yet, she was back.
"Becca, what the hell are you doing back here?" Nix asked, crossing his arms.
The woman put down the box, showing off her loot. "I brought supplies." She said, offering the box to the two stunned men.
A/N: I hope you liked the chapter. I'm sorry for the late upload this week. Something pretty serious happened to me this week and I was trying to deal with that. Nonetheless, thanks for all the support. It means so much me. Please, let me know how I'm doing! :3
