Chapter 4

When Adam wakes up a whole day has passed, he isn't alone this time. There are no leather straps holding him down to the bed, he tries to sit up but stops when he notices that Vicious is sitting on a nearby chair with a stack of papers on a table besides him.

They lock eyes in a silent staring contest taking place before Adam breaks the silence first. "Why am I still alive?", he asks, Vicious stares at him for a bit longer before speaking. "Why do you want to die? You purposely breathed water into your lungs when I found you.", he chooses not to answer Adam's just question yet.

Adam frowns, staying silent and doing his best to keep himself calm, there is no way he will win a physical fight against the man in his current condition. "If you knew that I tried dying, why bother saving me?", he asks, not giving the man an answer, two could play this game.

"Prisoner, Slave, Puppet, Weapon… who did that?" the question asked by the taller man struck Adam deeply unwanted memories filling his mind, his eyes became unfocused.

All the terrible things he had done came back hunting him and suddenly it became hard to breathe, his lungs feet like they had a flame lit inside of them, unknown to him a panic attack was taking hold of his body.

A big and warm hand being placed on his back brought him back to reality, he didn't notice but he sat up in his desperation clutching his chest, the panic attack made him lose control of his body almost making him collapse back into the bed. Vicious took notice and placed a hand on his back to stop him from hurting himself; his other hand was grabbing the stump where Adam's right arm should be. "Breath slower", Vicious commanded.

Adam became aware that he was hyperventilating. He has no choice but to obey, the hold on him is firm but gentle, he knows there is no chance of him escaping.

It takes him almost 20 minutes to control his breathing back to normal, the effort leaving him completely exhausted. "Sorry", Vicious says startling Adam, he really was not expecting any type of consideration by his captors more less an apology, it makes him feel confused. "Why… Why am I still alive?… I just… just want for it to end", he says in a broken voice, it almost sounded like he was begging to be killed.

Despite not being able to show any sign on his face or tone of voice of compassion or empathy Vicious does his best to offer some support. "You will be safe here… nobody will use you anymore…", he says, Adam did not believe any of those words. "Why should I believe you? I am always used or left alone", he said with anger in his voice, he twists his body some causing some pain to get away from Vicious.

Vicious knowing that he is trying to fight a losing battle decides to leave picking up the papers by the table. "It's not a lie… rest now", he says before leaving the room and Adam alone with his unwanted memories and his feeling of guilt.

Adam tried to escape several more times in the following month and a half, but like promised the king always hunted him down or some others that weren't part of the regular guard. This frustrated Adam greatly, he felt like he had been forced to play the game of mouse and cat, always losing to the cat.

He had been so close to either escape or take his life but at the last second, he was always stopped, making him wonder if Vicious was getting any sort of sick pleasure from this stupid game.

But the king never laughed at him or made any fun at his expenses, Vicious simply dragged him back to his room… and despite his attempts and bad behavior Vicious had granted him a bigger area to roam... well threw him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes to bring him to this bigger area, when he tried resisting.

He had been given a room, but it also had a small garden that contained a small pond and several plants and trees. Some animals even visited this area, some birds, squirrels and cats… the cats reminded him so much of Blake, he tried ignoring them, but they always found ways of crawling into his lap or his bed. From what he could learn the king was fond of animals and liked cats a lot.

But going back to the room he had been given, it contained several windows, they weren't barred and he could freely look outside or sit at the window sill. He even had a small balcony where he could look out to some parts of the city or to the port and mountains far away. His room also has a small table for him and two seats, a bed, a small bookcase with some books and a small fridge that contains snacks and drinks.

The queen sometimes visited him trying to talk to him and verify how his recovery was. In turn he gave short answers keeping himself as far as he could, remembering how he had wounded her the day of their fight.

This whole situation confused him greatly. He is a prisoner… yet this place doesn't feel like a real prison, yes he couldn't leave but he wasn't being starved or beaten almost to death like it happened back at the mine or with his other captors.

Nobody lashed him with a whip or beat him up when he did things that he wasn't supposed to, he wasn't confined to a small metal cage, he could spend his days exercising if he wanted to in the small garden or doing other things. It made him wonder why… or if this was simply a set up to gain his trust so they could use him.

So, caught in these thoughts that he didn't notice Xiang entering the room carrying a case, she clears her throat, startling him, he turns to face her, looking at the case suspiciously. "How are you doing today?", she asks. "Fine", he says, giving his typical answer. "That's good to hear", she tells him, before walking to the table and sitting down, placing the case on the table, a calico cat appears walking up to the queen meowing and demanding cuddles. Chuckling Xiang picks up the cat, placing her on her lap and petting her head, making the cat purr almost immediately.

"Will it always be like this Adam? We don't have any ill intentions towards you. We can help you but only if you lower those walls that you have built around yourself and let us in", she said using a calm voice while looking at him, Adam meanwhile is looking at the ground unable to meet her eyes. "I'm not worth the effort", he says in a low voice.

Xiang sighs at his response before speaking again. "Adam I might not know much about you and your life history, what you have gone through… but I know how you feel because…", she pauses thinking of her choice of words and noticing that Adam is looking at her, she knows she has his attention. "Because my beloved Vicious was just like you, you mentioned that someone used you in the past and I am guessing they made you commit terrible acts, things that you didn't wish to do, am I right?", she asks.

Adam doesn't answer her, he doesn't know what to tell her because her words are true, he was forced to commit so many atrocities and crimes that … that it made him hurt more than any type of wound or torture could, his behavior was all Xiang needed to confirm what she suspected. "Vicious was ordered in the past to kill me and my family… he killed my previous husband… he was a very kind and loved king his name was Ashford", says Xiang, remembering their happy moments together.

Adam looks at her in shock. How could she refer to Vicious as her loved one after he had killed her previous husband? He is about to ask her if she was insane but she holds up her hand to him in a stopping motion.

"The story doesn't end there, you see I hated Vicious with all my heart and soul and wanted nothing more than to see him die and pay for all he had done, he had taken my previous husband's life before he and I could even have a child together. I wanted to tear him to pieces, kill him the same way he had killed Ashford. Many times, Vicious had come very close to killing me. Not only that Vicious had killed thousands of people, he destroyed whole towns. But imagine my surprise the day we could finally have revenge, when Yamato my son held a sword to his head to end his life… small children came running to protect their father from getting executed. They didn't think twice to risk their little lives to protect their father like he had done for them a thousand times. He was forced to obey the orders of a tyrant to be able to keep his family from harm, because even death wasn't an escape", she said those last words wiping a tear from her eyes.

"What we found in the place his family was captive at, was a nightmare", she said, shuddering at the memories. "At first it was extremely difficult when we took them out of there, the fights were constant between him and my son and among other family members from both sides. But as time kept passing and other situations kept on happening Vicious showed us, he was not a monster he never was, he is actually one of the kindest persons that you could ever meet… of course the damage is already been done, he cannot express emotion and what he desires as a normal person", she finalizes her story looking at Adam.

She could see that he appears to be lost in thought with what he had heard. She sighs and gets up from the chair taking the cat on her arms. "Adam what's in that case if for you, alright… please let us help you, you are young and have a full life ahead of you, you are worth the effort", she walks to the door and leaves the room, on the other side she is not surprised to wait for Vicious waiting for her, she knew he had heard the whole conversation and the things he did, still pain him greatly.

However, she simply walks up to him placing her hand on his cheek caressing him softly, he leans into her touch closing his eyes and relaxing placing his hand over hers. After a few more moments, she pushes herself upward to the tip of her feet to kiss him and he returns it, circling his arms around her waist, when they separate, she smiles at him. "I love you, never forget that, you aren't a monster, beloved", she says reassuring him.

Vicious nods at her words, before glancing at the door then looking back to her. He nods to himself and still with her hand on his, he leads the way back to their quarters for some afternoon tea which he knows Xiang is very fond of. The cat on her arm purring happily.