Ben left for bed but I was almost paralyzed staring at that spot in the ground. I didn't care about the rules, I needed to talk to Jackson. I went into the field but I saw Billy on the tower, Damn. It's not Jackon's night. I... I have to talk to him.
I crept through the Homestead, trying to avoid the lit torches, just in case Billy was watching. I took a deep breath and entered the boys sleeping area. It was awful, the smell of sweat and farts mixed with their old grimy clothes made me want to gag, but I held my breath. I scanned the room for Jackson but it was near impossible to find him in the heap of snoring and moaning.
Maybe this was a bad idea..., My heart stopped when a boy near me, I think it was Hank rolled over in his hammock. I thought he was waking up but he was just repositioning himself. This was a bad idea. But I NEED to talk to Jackson...
I crept through the rows quietly, keeping low and searching for him. I found him after about 5 minutes, he was snoring lightly in a his hammock.
"Jackson...," I whispered as lightly as possible, but he did not nove.
I shook his hammock gently but still he didn't wake up.
"Jackson!," I whispered more urgently.
"Huh?," he was half awake.
I quickly covered his mouth and now he was fully awake. He grabbed my wrist so fast, I didn't even see it. My eyes widened and I was scared, because Jackson looked mean and angry.
"Who are you?," he asked gruffly and little louder than I was anticipating.
I glanced around but no one stirred," Shhh, Jackson. It's me."
"Me?," he had not let go of my wrist.
This is he type of situation where a name comes in handy...
"The only girl you know!"
"What? Oh... ," he let go of my wrist and sat up. "What are you doing in here?"
"I need to talk to you," glanced around again, more nervous than ever.
"Is something wrong? Are you okay?," Jackson was now sitting on the edge of his hammock.
"I just... really... need to talk to you. Please."
He sighed," Yeah sure. I'll meet you by the showers."
I was all too ready to escape from the stale air of the hotel boy sleeping room. Outside the night felt brisk and welcoming, much better than what I had been introduced to. I waited by the showers impatiently for Jackson to come, and finally he did.
"What's up?," he asked still rubbing his eyes.
"Jackson... I...," I swallowed the lump in my throat.
How do I tell him? What do I tell him? This is so bad. I promised Ben I wouldn't. I promised him. BEn is so scared... but so am I I can;t hold this secret in. What if someone gets hurt. It would be my fault.
"Are you alright?," Jackson was now concerned.
I shook my head.
"It's okay. You can just tell me."
I shook my head an looked at him, I can't tell him. I promised. What am I doing?! What am I doing!? I felt so overwhelmed in that moment that I was physically shaking.
"Oh, okay, just calm down," Jackson said softly. "Whatever it is, I'm sure it's not a big deal."
IT IS A BIG DEAL! THIS IS A HUGE DEAL!
My throat caught and I made an odd choking sound, Jackson mistook it for me crying.
"Oh, please don't cry. Come here," he wrapped his big muscley arms around me and held me tightly. I wrapped my arms back around him, but it didn't make me feel better. I was still so scared. "Come on, tell me what's wrong," he whispered.
"It happened," I said into his chest.
"What happened?"
"It. The bad thing... it happened. The bad feeling I had, I know why."
"What is it?"
I pulled away and brushed my hair behind my ears," I... I can't tell you."
"What?," Jackson's face scrunched with confusion.
"I... I made a promise."
"You are starting to freak me out..."
"I can't tell you Jackson. I'm sorry..."
"What are you talking about? What happened? Just tell me, I won't be mad."
"I know that," I pulled the end of hair. "I just... I got... I was... just... scared."
"Scared? Who scared you?"
"Uhm, no one. It was something."
"Well, what was it?"
"I can't tell you...," I flung my hands to my sides, frustrated with myself.
"If you can't tell me, I can't help you? Was it something with Newt?"
I shook my head, Newt was one of the furthest things from my mind.
"Then who? Siggy?," Jackson guessed again.
I shook my head again and Jackson threw his hands in the air.
"God! I can't help you if you don't want it!"
"Shhhh! Jackson, you're being too loud," my eyes darted around.
Jackson sighed," Look...," I could hear how tired he was," Just sleep on it. Maybe it won't be so bad in the morning."
"It'll still be there in the morning...," I said to myself.
"What will?"
"I can't tell you!," I said guilty.
"Then I can't help you," Jackson turned away.
"Wait! No, Jakcson," I caught his arm and he turned back to me. I took a deep breath," I... I learned something... something bad. I... I don't know what to do."
"What did you...," Jackson stopped himself. "You can't tell me?," he asked and I nodded.
"Well, I don't even understand what you could have learned... the glade has no secrets."
"It does now."
"You have to tell me," Jackson said without room for argument.
"But I-..."
"No, you have to tell me. No secrets between us, right?"
"But I promised, Jackson!"
"Okay, fine. I'll promise too. I won't tell a soul."
"It's not my secret to tell, Jackson."
"Then whose could it be? Ben?"
I froze at his name and quickly looked to the ground. "No, not Ben."
"It is. It is, Ben. I can tell."
"SHHH! Be quiet, Jackson."
"What happened with Ben?"
"I can't tell you... and nothing. Ben has nothing to do with it."
"You are not a good liar, you know that, right? But if you don't want to tell me, why did you wake me up?"
"I want to tell you, I do. I... I'm just scared," I admitted bashfully.
"Did he do something?," Jackson asked quietly.
I bit my tongue and then I slowly lifted my head to meet his eyes. He could see what I wanted to say, I wanted to say yes.
"What did he do?," Jackson asked calmly.
"Jackson...," my voice caught.
"That bastard...," Jackson clenched his fists and then he punched the wall of the shower room, causing it to falter for a moment, but it didn't fall.
"Wait, Jackson..."
"I'll wring his scrawny neck!"
"Jackson, no! No... he didn't... not that."
"What did he do?!"
"He brought a needle into the Glade," I blurted then covered my mouth.
"A needle? What are you talking about."
I shook my head, Oh god, why did I say that. Idiot!
"What do you mean a needle? What needle?"
"Jackson, I can't-..."
"No, no secrets. Tell me... Please."
I sighed," Let's go back to my room." I walked past him.
"Are you going to finally tell me? Cause you do know we are breaking the rules right now?"
"That's why you should have been whispering."
Back in my room I sat down and Jackson stood by the door, his arms crossed and his patience at an end.
"Okay, I'll tell you... but you really can't tell anyone Jackson. I mean it, it's a secret. A real secret."
"I've never told any of our other secrets, have I?"
He had a point, Jackson was trustworthy.
"Tell me, what are you talking about a needle?"
I looked to my hands and slowly, the story seeped out. I told him about Ben acting all weird lately, then how he had snapped at me, and finally what he had shown me buried in the Deadhead. I was embarrassed, I didn't want to look so weak, but I did. I also didn't want Ben to get into trouble, so I didn't tell Jackson where the needle was buried.
"So, Ben brought in a stinger?"
"Yeah," I spoke hoarsely, my throat felt raw.
"But why? It doesn't make sense?"
"I know. He wouldn't explain it to me."
Jackson sat across from me on the middle hammock," How did he even find it?"
"I don't know, he saw it in the maze."
"That doesn't make sense, how can-..."
Jackson was interrupted by a sound outside and we both froze. I looked at him and he looked at me, there was nothing to do. My room had no windows, just the one door and nothing else. There was someone coming and he was about to get caught in my room after dark. Jackson would get in trouble for breaking the rules, I would too. SHIT.
Jackson looked around, hoping for an escape route but there was nothing. No way out.
"Tell them I barged in," he grabbed my shoulders.
"What?!"
"Tell them I just came in, you didn't invite me!"
"What? No, that's-..."
"Please. Do this," Jackson was desperate, his eyes wild and his voice stern, so I agreed.
Just as I said okay, he stepped away and Alby walked into the room followed by Gally.
