The next day, Newt came by my room after dinner and before dark.
"Don't want to break any more rules," he grinned.
I jumped, he hadn't really knocked or anything. I turned to him standing in the door, the evening light of the gade radiated behind him, making him glow in a brilliant gold. He really did look like he was a dream, something that could not be real yet somehow was. I could almost hear a hum or vibrations ring in my ears like a past song I couldn't recognize.
"Are you ready?," he moved from the door and everything went back to how it was, my room didn't seem warmer or brighter and the hum went away.
"What? Oh... uhm, yeah."
"Great," he smiled and I looked down to the floor.
I don't know why I was acting like this, like I had never seen him before or talked to him. I saw him practically everyday, why was I still being so... so weird. I followed him outside and Newt started with some stretching.
"No bets this time."
I smirked," Probably a good idea. I don't want you to owe me two favors."
"Ouch," he grinned. "Besides, this isn't a race, right? Just two people jogging the perimeter of the middle of some maze with no memories of a past life."
"Sounds about right."
"And go," Newt started at a slow steady pace, I caught up and matched him. I focused on the trail ahead, but I couldn't help but chuckle when we both jumped over the root of the tree, I glanced to Newt and he had a grin plastered on his face. I controlled my breathing as we rounded the corners of the glade in silence, it was probably the least awkward I had ever been around Newt. We got back to my hut and I slowed the pace and stopped, my side cramped, I hadn't done this is so long.
Newt jogged in place," Giving up."
"What can I say... getting soft."
Newt stopped jogging and grinned," I don't believe that for a second."
I saw a gleam in his eyes, almost mischievous, like he had a sly plan in motion, one I didn't know about. I felt a blush rise to my cheeks, which were no doubt already red, so hopefully not noticeable.
"It's okay, we can just walk."
"Uhm I... I actually feel kind of tired," I lied. "Should get some sleep."
"Oh... Okay. Sure. I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Nowhere to hide here."
Newt chuckled," See you."
I went into my room and waited until I couldn't hear his footsteps anymore. The bonfire had started, so I had the perfect opportunity to sneak off and see Jackson. I didn't want to blow Newt off, I actually wanted to spend time with him, but I missed Jackson and I felt guilty.
I snuck through the Glade undetected.
"Hey," I crouched by the slammer.
"Look who it is," Jackson came up to the bars.
"I tried to see you yesterday but was almost caught."
"All the more reason for you to not be here."
"You almost sound ungrateful."
Jackson bowed his head and sighed. "I'm glad to see you, you know I am... but I don;t want more trouble for you."
"Seems like that's all I cause," I glanced around.
"Don't be stupid," Jackson scoffed. "You bring ll kinds of joy,... you make me smile."
I chuckled," Glad I can amuse you. Speaking of which... I ran the Glad with Newt today."
"Yeah I saw, you ran right past me."
"Was I supposed to stop?"
"No, of course not. Remember, this is secret stuff we're doing."
"What happens when you get out? Are we still supposed to pretend not be friends."
"Yeah, we're going to have to for a while."
"That's so stupid. One of the many flaws with your plan."
"Let's talk about something else. You and Newt, how did that go?"
"I... I don't know. He hasn't brought up what I said to him, about needing to talk to you... about him. That's good, right?"
"Yeah, that's good."
"We just jogged... really didn't say anything."
"That's not a bad thing," Jackson mentioned.
"No, it wasn't. It felt comfortable."
"Awww, are you blushing?," he teased.
"Shut it," I giggled.
A loud shout peirce the air and I froze.
"It's okay," Jackson told me. "Just the boys."
"I tried to calm myself, it had really scared me.
"Hey, can I ask you something?," Jackson leaned his back against the bars.
"Sure."
"It's going to sound weird."
I was now nervous... he last time I was in a conversation like this it was Ben and that had ended poorly. Jackson saw my face and added.
"But not that weird."
"Okaaayyy...," I was still unsure.
"What do I look like?," he asked.
The question was different, not something people around here really talked about.
"What do you look like," I repeated.
"Yeah," Jackson face me. "I've... never really seen myself."
"Oh... uhm...You're hair is dark brown, almost black. It's straight, could use a haircut," I smirked and I heart Jackson snicker. "Uh... you have brown eyes... like a prettier shade of dirt."
"Prettier shade of dirt?," Jackson chuckled.
"Sorry I'm not a poet. They're brown, but not like dirt, like tree bark in the sunlight."
"Not a poet?," Jackson joked then paused. "Do you think I'm ugly?"
"What?"
Jackson sighed," It's not being full of myself. I just.. feel like you might be the only judge of this."
"What happens when we get out and the girls are just drawn to you?," I teased.
He smiled," I just want a heads up if I need to be more charming then usual."
"Are you on a low setting?"
He laughed," No, I'm on full."
I laughed and looked at him carefully. Jackson had a pointy nose, tan skin from being outside all day, and his muscles were bulging. He had bushy eyebrows that settled above his brown eyes.
"I don't think you're ugly," I told him.
He grinned," Are you falling in love with me?"
"Shut up," I rolled me eyes. "You know... I thought about that too, on my first day. I... I actually looked in my reflection of water. All I could really notice was my eyes, they're blue."
"You're right," Jackson put his arms through the bars and rested his head against the bars. "You're eyes are a really bright blue, the brightest I've ever seen."
I knelt down in front of the Slammer. "What else do I look like?"
Jackson eyes studied my face," Well, you have the blue eyes, and you're hair is long, dark and curly... but I'mg guessing you know that. Uhm... you look pretty. Maybe I'm biased because you're the only girl I've ever seen or remember."
"Are you falling in love with me?," I grinned.
"You wish," he grinned.
Another loud shout pierced the air and I gasped then groaned.
"God, why do they do that?," I stood up looking towards the bonfire.
"Don't ask me."
"I feel like.. there are a lot of celebrations here. "
"Yeah, there are."
"Isn't it weird?"
Jackson slicked back his hair," No. It's just our lives."
Our lives... This is my life. Here. Forever.
"What happens if we never get out?," I wonder out loud. "Do we just grow old and die here?"
"That's the million dollar question," Jackson answered with a sigh. "But, they haven't given up yet," Jackson looked ot where the cheering and shouting was coming from.
"I don't know how... I am already doubting it."
"No," Jackson said abruptly. "You can't start that."
"I... I can't help it."
"Yes, you can. You can't let it worm it's way in. It... it's deadly."
I looked to Jackson but he was now facing away from me and I felt a pressure rise inside me. My throat felt like it was closing.
"I...," I choked. "I don't know how to stop it."
Jackson turned back to me, reached through the bars and took my hands. He pulled me towards him and down so now I was kneeling in the dirt, eye level with him.
"That's why you have me," he said.
I felt a tear run down my cheek, and I let out a strained sigh.
"But for now, it's not so bad, right?," he asked as I looked down to the ground.
I didn't trust my voice, I shook my head no.
"No.. I guess not."
"Believe me it could be worse."
I snorted and joked," Yeah right."
"Hey," he squeezed my hand tighter. "One day, this will be a terrible memory. Unfortunately, it's our first memory, but it will not be our last. There will be others."
I nodded, looking down again as another tear streaked my face.
"We just have to wait... but it won't be forever."
I squeezed his hands back," Yeah... you're right. I'm sorry."
"No, don't apologize. It's need to get out somehow."
"Somehow that job always falls on you."
He shrugged," What can I say? The ladies love me," he smirked.
"Yeah, you're a real charmer."
Jackson let go of my hands," Now get out of here, the night patrol will be coming by soon."
"But they're Baggers... Will they really get you in more trouble?"
"Not a risk I'm wanting to take."
"Okay," I stood up and wiped my face. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"You're going to get yourself in trouble sneaking here to see me."
"Good thing you can't stop me," I smirked and crept back to my room.
