The next morning the sky was clear and the grass was wet from the night before, along with deep sticky mud that my shoes sunk into as I walked to the kitchen. The day passed quickly, I kept conversation with Siggy and at breakfast I waited for Jackson to show up. Even the awkward moment of passing him a bowel of food would have been appreciated, but he never came. I passed it on to Joseph when he got there and went on to enjoy the rest of my day. I made my way to the Deadhead, happy to be back, I floated towards my tree in the center of it all. It looked the same as it had when I left it, small, secluded... kind of like me. I kneeled in front of it, looking at the notches as they covered an entire side of the trunk. I slowly counted the notches, reaching the grand total of 86... meaning if Ben didn't come yesterday when it rained and he hadn't come this morning, today was my 88th day in the Glade. I dub my nail into the tree to add to the count. I then sat back and leaned against my tree, facing the serene quietness of the trees around me. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, drifting into a light slumber.

I woke up in a bed, in a room painted with pale blue walls. I sat up, to the right was a window, which was open to let a slight breeze push past the sheer tan curtains into the room. I looked down at the bed, I was covered by a large fluffy quilt, it was so soft, I smoothed it over with my hand, it was a dark navy blue with a white checkered pattern. I looked up from the bed and at the rest of the room, there was light brown dresser and in the other corner were a few navy blue chairs with a white rug underneath them, the rest of the floor was a light wood color. I suddenly felt a presence beside me, I turned and in the bed, there was another body, snuggled up underneath the cozy blanket. I leaned over and brushed away a piece of reddish brown hair to reveal Newt's sleeping face. I smile and stroked his hair and he slept, he looks so peaceful and perfect. Newt rustles in his sleep, rubbing his eyes and turning over towards me, before opening his eyes.

"Good morning," he mumbles in a deep sleepy voice.

"Hey there," I smile while continuing to brush through his tangled hair with my fingers.

Newt took his arms out from under the blanket and put them around me pulling me closer to him, letting his face rest on my chest while I continued to play with his curls.

"Can't we just sleep in?," he muttered.

"Wouldn't that be nice," I chuckled.

Newt than looked up to be," Maybe 5 more minutes?"

"I think we can manage that," I giggled and he brought a hand up to my cheek and pulled me down into a slow sweet kiss.

"Maybe 10 more minutes," Newt said sitting up, pulling me closer and kissing me harder. I giggled into his lips and then kissed him back as we shuffled under the covers.

"We have to get up," I groaned as Newt kissed my neck.

"We still have at least 3 more minutes," he responded bringing our lips back together.

There was a creak, just a split second of a noise broke the moment of bliss. I peeked out from the covers and saw a little boy standing in the doorway, holding a teddy bear.

"Mama?," he called out to me.

Newt threw the covers down," Come here little man," he smiled holding his arms out to the boy.

He came running into the room, and jumped onto the bed, giggling as Newt scooped him up and tickled him.

"Daddy! Daddy stop!," he laughed loudly and I smiled as I watched them play. "Mama help!," he reached out to me and I stole him away from Newt and protected him in my arms.

I cradled him as he laid against me, playing peek-a-boo with Newt. He squeezed me tightly and laughed into my chest as Newt creeped up on him, then Newt stopped and stroked his hair. He had the same hair as Newt, the same color and the same curls, but this boy had big blue eyes and deep freckles speckled across his nose and cheeks.

"Callum, are you going to be good with mama today?" Newt asked and the child nodded. "Good," he smiled and then kissed me on the head. "I have to shower," he rolled out of bed and sauntered into a bathroom to the left of the bed ad shut the door.

The boy, Callum, turned and face me on the bed, playing with his teddybear.

"What are we going to do today mama?," he asked sweetly.

"Whatever you want," I leaned in and kissed him on the head and got out of the bed, going to the dresser. I opened a drawer and pulled out some clothes. Above the dresser was a mirror, when I looked into it, there was just an outline of my body, no eyes, no nose, no mouth, not anything; my face was blank.

Then it was over, I was back to reality, the rustling of footsteps nearby woke me up. I was in the Deadhead, and Ben was ambling towards me with his hands in his pockets.

"Lazy afternoon," he asked.

I sat up straighter, "Something like that."

"Good to see you back here," Ben stopped a few feet in front of me.

"It feels right," I admitted. Safer.

"I... I need to apologize about the stinger."

I waved it away," Please, can we just forget it."

"Are you sure? "

"Yeah... I just want to move on and forget the whole week."

"That's... fair," Ben sat down beside me.

"I want to move on and get out of the Glade," I continued, thinking back to the daydream I just had.

"We all do,"Ben looked at the tree. "You add the marks?"

I nodded," 88 days," I told him.

"I wish I had done this," he admitted. "I honestly have no idea how long it's been now. I guess I could count back Greenies to find out, but you know exactly."

I tuned Ben out as he rambled about the Glade and thought back to my dream. I was with Newt, we had a son... but I didn't have a face? What does that mean? Why didn't I have a face?

"Do you ever dream, Ben?," I asked him.

He laughed," Yeah, I dream of getting out of here."

"No, I mean real dreams, like when you sleep."

He thought for a moment, "No... not really. Do you?"

"No."

It wasn't really a dream... I wasn't really sleeping, was I?

Then I turned to Ben," On my first day here in the Glade, I looked at my reflection... but I didn't see anything really well. I..." Why am I bringing this up? Jackson already told me what I look like... "Well, I haven't really looked at myself since then, so I... What do I look like?," I asked him, drawing my knees to my chest.

"Uh... uhm, you," he cleared his throat. "You looked like a girl?"

I rolled my eyes," No. Ben, I mean what do I look like?"

Ben face me," Well, you... you have blue eyes."

I saw that in my reflection and Jackson already told me that.

"What else?"

"Uhhh... well, you have dark curly hair... really long."

I reached for a strand of my hair, tugging at the end, it was a dark brown, almost black color, with waves throughout. Yes, I know that too.

"I know that," I grinned. "But what else? What do I look like?"

"Well... uh... I don't know," Ben grunted. "You have a nose, and a mouth and ears."

"Thanks," I reply flatly.

"Well, what do I look like," Ben asked me curiously.

I turned back to him. "You are tall, like really tall," I told him. "You have blonde hair and green eyes, and you have a mole on your cheek."

"Really?," Ben's hand went to his face. "Where?"

I guided his hand to the spot," Right there."

"Woah, crazy. What else?"

"You have, kind of big ears, but it doesn't look bad or anything and your nose is small."

"Small?," Ben felt his nose. "Really?"

"I would say so," I smiled. "It's kind of pointy too."

"Yeah, I feel that," he poked the tip of his nose.

I closed my eyes and leaned back into the tree, re-imaging that light blue room. I saw myself in the mirror and tried to put my own features in, blue eyes, adding my curly dark hair, then adding noses and mouths, but all of it looked weird. Am I ugly? I thought as I kept switching my face around, none of these look good.

"Well, I got to go meet Mihno," Ben stood up.

"Really? What for?"

Ben shrugged," Just asked to meet up with all of us. Don't get too excited, probably nothing."

"Sure, yeah," I nodded as he turned and left the Deadhead.

I should go too, I stood up. It looked like the day had slipped away from me as I had spent it napping in the trees. I turned and headed back to my hut in the corner of the Glade, excited to see Newt tonight for a run around the walls. I debated if I should tell him about my dream, but I decided I shouldn't. It would probably freak him, I didn't even understand it myself. I waited for him to come by, watching the light slip through the cracks between the twigs that were mended into my walls; I kept replaying the dream in my head. I guess Newt and I were married? We had a son together... named Callum. We shared a real bed, not sleeping in hammocks. We lived in a real house, not some shack bound with rope and twine. We looked like we had a real life. We looked happy. Is that how simple it would be if we got out of here? Could it really be that perfect?

There was knock on the wall and I looked up to see Newt standing in the doorway," Ready?," he asked.

I jumped up," Yeah, ready."

We started at a slow pace, pushing into the Deadhead and Newt sparked a conversation.

"So, How was it today?"

I shrugged it off," It was fine."

"Did you see Jackson?"

I grunted," No."

Newt was quiet for a moment," He came and saw me today."

"What?," I almost tripped over my own feet.

"Yeah, he just came to tell me that he was planning to keep a distance from you."

"Is that all he said? What did you say?"

"No, he also told me that he was hoping I wouldn't spill your little secret."

I smiled," Yeah, Jackson's a protector."

"I told him I wasn't going to sat a word. I promised," he grinned to me.

Newt and I exited the Deadhead and made out way for the corner of the Glade. "Could you tell him something for me?"

"Yeah, I guess?," Newt replied.

"Tell him that he doesn't have to hide from me. It only makes him look more guilty."

"He wants to make sure all bases are covered."

"But he can't just avoid me forever... the Glade is only so big."

"He told me he's just going to skip breakfast for a few weeks while the whole thing blows over."

"That is the dumbest thing," I growled as we turned the corner.

"He's doing the smart thing," Newt told me.

"The whole thing is stupid," I mumbled.

"It won't last forever."

"They way you guys talk, it will."

"No...," Newt sighed as we passed the garden. "No, Jackson just wants to be cautious and I agree with him."

Of course you do, I wanted to roll my eyes and pushed harder, pulling ahead of Newt. He grabbed my shoulder and we both sputtered to a stop.

"Hey, don't be upset."

"I am upset!"

Newt looked over his shoulder, then back to me," Jackson does have a plan."

I scoffed," As if! So far Jackson's big plan was getting himself in trouble," my emotions started to surface. "And it's all my fault," I covered my face with my hands and sucked in a deep breath.

"No, no, it's not your fault."

I started to to cry into my fingers," It is! It's my fault!"

I got Jackson into this crazy mess. It me! It's my fault!

"Stop, please," Newt stepped close to me. "Please, don't do this to yourself."

"I can't help it... it's all my fault. Now he's branded as some... some sort of pervert and I'm just some defenseless victim. Just what I need, right? More people to think of me as some weird girl," I couldn't catch my breath, the words tumbled out like vomit.

Newt wrapped his arms around me, he was hesitant at first, placing his hand awkwardly on my back with a loose grip. I wasn't even thinking as I continued to cy, I leaned into his chest with my hand still covering my face. Newt responded by tightening his grip.

"You can't possibly think that the Gladers think that about you."

I coughed, practically choking on my tears," Of course they do."

"Nobody thinks that about you."

"But they think that about Jackson," I sobbed.

Newt rubbed my back as I continued my episode of hysteria, the only good part of it was the place we were in. At least we were hidden by the garden, the corn was tall enough so no one could see us.

"Like you said, Jackson is a protector. He made the choice to protect you and he doesn't regret it."

"But I do! I should have stood up for him!"'

"You can't blame yourself for this...," he said softly. "Besides, it's all worked out. Jackson is no longer in the Slammer, and the Glade will forget all about this."

"We could have just lied..."

"What?," Newt pulled away to hear me better.

"We could have lied," I repeated and wiped my eyes. "I know he did it so I wouldn't get in trouble... but it's just so stupid! I... I hate it here!," I screamed into my hands, pulling away from Newt.

"Hey, hey, hey," Newt pulled me to him again, wrapping both arms around me, holding me tightly. "Shhhh, hey, it's okay. It's alright."

No, it's not. I'm stuck here without my best friend. Stuck in a cage. No future...

"I just wish things were different," I mumbled into his chest.

"I know... I wish things were different too."

That's how we stood- there in between the garden and the wall of the maze hidden from the rest of the Glade, Newt with his arms around me, his head resting on mine while I was curled into my self, wrapped up by him, letting myself dry out from tears. I don't know how long we stood there, it felt like a long time, the sun had set over the wall and night was here. I could feel the chill of the wind, which made me want to burrow further into Newt's warmth and the steady drum of his heartbeat, but I pulled away from him, his arms now falling to his sides. He looked at me, head tilted, his eyes clouded with worry.

"You should go," I whispered, my voice was hoarse and cracked. "It's dark. I don't want anyone else getting in trouble."

"Let me take you home," he offered.

"No, it's okay. I know the way... just turn right," I tried to make a joke but it came out sad and out of place.

"Come on," Newt walked up to me. "I'll walk you home."

"It's not my home," I shook my head. "Home is somewhere you actually want to be," I turned and we fell into a slow stride side by side.

"Where do you want to be?," he asked me as we walked.

I slowed as we passed the wall of names, looking them over, before stopping completely.

"I have no idea," I told him and continued to walk. "How am I supposed to know where I want to be when I have no memory of where I've been?"

"Dream," he answered simply.

"Wait, what did you say?," I turned to him, stopping again.

"Uhm, I said dream?," he seemed unsure.

"Dream? You've dreamed before?"

"Rarely. But I remember a few of them."

We started to walk again," What do you dream about?"

He grinned," Once, I had a dream that I got to run through the maze and I found the way out."

I smiled," Very noble of you..."

He chuckled," Yeah, I guess. What about you, have you had any dreams?"

My heart skipped a beat, but my voice was calm," Yeah, I had a dream."

"What was it about?"

"A normal life," I said simply, not going into the details.

He scoffed in disbelief," I can't even begin to image what that would be like."

"Of course you can," I told him. "It's living in a house, being free to go wherever you want. You told me you think freedom is out there."

"Yeah, freedom... but after all this, will any of really be normal?"

I thought about it, Could we? Could it be that easy to get out of the walls surrounding us and start new lives? Leave all of this behind, never look back and build something new.. That's what I want. But how can you forget something like this? Watching friends die, living your life only with questions and no answers.

"No," I answered. "Probably not, but it's worth dreaming, right?"

He smiled," Of course."

I smiled in return, it was nice talking to Newt without this giant looming secret of my emotions escaping. It felt calm, even though looking at him did still make my finger numb, I couldn't help that. Newt just had such a soothing energy about him, it just flowed off him and I liked that about it, it made me want to spend more time with him. I saw my little cabin coming up and I knew that meant he would be leaving, I didn't want him too but I really didn't want him getting into trouble. I stopped and turned to him.

"Thanks."

He arched an eyebrow," For?"

"For walking me back... and for the run," I tired to avoid the topic of me breaking down.

"Yeah it's not a problem. You know how much I love to," he paused and gave a coy smile," run."

There was the feeling again, the urge to reach out and pull hi close to me and feel his lips against mine. The driving force of wanting to kiss Newt bubbling inside of me as we stood there, eye locked, with the darkness of night and the trees as a shield from others. I thought I saw him lean towards me, as if he felt it too, like he wanted this to happen and it wasn't only me. I was happy with it, overjoyed, ecstatic, about to loose my freaking mind with glee but also absolutely terrified of it.

This is it, I thought letting myself lean towards him too when a shriek broke the magically moment. Newt and I both turned to the wall, that's where it had came from. Not the Glade. I was frozen, my mouth open and my heart racing. What the hell was that!?

"Newt?," I whispered, ready to collapse.

Newt was watching the wall like me," It's nothing. Just a Griever," he told me.

"Why is... it so close?," I asked softly as the fear tingled on my skin.

"It's nothing. They get close to the Glade sometimes at night, but they never get in," he stepped between me and the wall blocking my view. "It's alright," his kind brown eyes melted my fright.

I nodded," Okay, yeah."

"I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah," I gave a small smile.

"Sweet dreams," he smirked, which made me chuckle. He then turned and went back the way we had came, towards the Homestead. I looked at the wall again, Grievers... I've never heard them this close before. I was scaring myself all over again, so I ran to my hit and hopped in the hammock, hoping to fall asleep quickly.