I should warn you, this chapter may have some triggers in it related to sexual assault. If that makes you uncomfortable, please do not read. This will apply to the rest of the story and will be referenced in future chapters.
"What does that mean?," I asked pushing myself up in the bed, now too concerned to stay laying on the bed, but my head did not make it easy, it was in agony.
Alby folded his hands and looked to the ground.
"Alby what happened? Is someone hurt," I'd never seen Alby look so distraught. "Is it Newt? Is he okay?"
"No," he looked up at me," Nothing like that."
I sighed with relief, "Good. Then what is it?"
Alby took a deep breath," Last night, at the bonfire or even after, you have no memories?"
"No," I said in a squeak. "I can't really remember anything, just small pieces."
The room was quiet, I looked to Jeff and Clint, both were in the corner, looking at the ground and not at me. Jeff was fidgeting with the hem of his shirt while Clint stood with his arms crossed. I looked back to Alby, he sat beside me rubbing his hand together, he looked distant, like his head was somewhere else. Then he looked at me, his brown eyes were bloodshot, read streaking through the white like he wasn't sleeping.
"I was told you were...," Alby stopped midsentence. "I don't even know what to call it."
"Alby you're scaring me."
Alby looked away," I was told you were attacked last night."
"What?," I didn't understand.
"We are investigating this, I promise you, Greenbean," Alby told me seriously.
"Wait? What do you mean attacked," I looked down at my arms, I didn't see any bruises like I'd been hurt. I didn't feel sore, except for splitting headache. "Did I get into a fight?!"
"It... it wasn't like a physical attack," Alby told me. "Well it was, but not... not like that."
"I don't know what your saying? What do you mean attacked?," I looked back to Jeff and Clint who were both looking at me with sad eyes. "I'm not hurt... just my head."
Clint stepped forward," It was Lee."
"Clint," Alby snapped.
"It was. He did this. He is responsible," Clint defended firmly.
"What did he do? What did Lee do?," I asked turning to Jeff. Jeff looked back to his shoes and I turned to Alby. "What did he do? If he didn't hurt me how did he attack me? Did he just... try to hurt me or something, like he was drunk?"
"He didn't try to hit you," Clint voice was dark and his hands were clenched.
"Clint, leave," Alby commanded and Clint made no effort to leave. "Clint," Alby spoke with tone of warning as the two locked eyes.
"Are you jacked, Alby?! She has a right to know," he spoke through gritted teeth.
"She will know. But now you should leave."
"Wait, please. You have to explain to me what's happening," I begged them.
Alby turned back to me wit heavy eyes, "We don't... we don't know exactly."
What does that mean? That's not an answer.
"How do you not know? You said I was attacked but you don't know? That doesn't make sense? Lee wouldn't attack me, that can't be right."
"There was a witness," Alby told me.
"Witness to what," I shouted and my head throbbed, I winced and laid back against the firm pillow and closed my eyes. "You're not telling me anything, Alby!"
"I'm still trying to figure it all out myself," he admitted. "There are two stories so far, Lee and the witness. I was hoping to hear your side."
"What side," I spat at him," I don't even know what your talking about. I don't remember anything!"
"I know this is hard to understand," Alby tried to calm me down.
"No," I sat up and swung my feet over the bed, my vision went fuzzy for a split second and I swayed threatening to fall but I grabbed the frame of the cot to steady myself. "I want to talk to Newt."
Alby sighed," Greenie, let me jus-..."
"I want to talk to him now."
"Newt can't speak with you, he's unavailable."
"Doing what?," I glared at Alby.
Alby paused and Clint decided to fill me in," He's in the Slammer."
"Clint, slim it," Alby barked at him," Or he won't be the only one there."
They stared at one another for a moment, before Clint stepped back next to Jeff and folded his arms again.
"Why is Newt in the Slammer?!"
"He broke a rule," Alby said simply. "But that is not what we need to talk about."
"Then tell me what's going on!," I felt completely lost,my eyes started to swell with tears.
I was attacked by Lee, Clint is the angriest I've ever seen him, Alby looks like he's been up all night and Newt is in the Slammer?! For breaking a rule?! He would never do that! None of this is making sense. Maybe I'm in a weird dream. This doesn't feel real...
"Let me ask you a question first," Alby leaned forward, then glanced to Jeff and Clint," Do you want them to leave?," he asked, but it felt like a side question and not what he really wanted to say to me. "Because I understand this is a serious time."
"Alby please, just tell me! My head is killing me and nothing you're saying is making any sense!"
"Have you and Lee ever... been in any sort of relationship... passed that of friendship?"
My face scrunched at the thought," What? Of course not! Alby, are you serious?!" I couldn't believe he asking me that." We just talked about this! You can't assume every guy I talk to is someone I'm in love with," I felt a tear roll down my cheek.
I thought he finally understood this. But apparently not, I'm still just the lovestruck girl to him.
"I didn't think you were, but I just needed to check, alright." Alby took another deep breath which was starting to irritate me, he was avoiding telling me anything. I was done talking to him.
I looked to Clint," Clint, tell me what's happening. I want to know right now."
His arms dropped to his sides and into his pockets, but he wasted no time telling me the truth.
"Last night, everyone got Hooch sleep, dropping everywhere, we found people all over the glade this morning. I know you drank a lot too, and this batch of Gally's was real strong."
"Get to the point," I rushed him.
"A Glader told Alby he saw Lee carrying you from the bonfire back to your room. You were asleep and Lee was grabbing you and then they got in a fight and Alby found out and that's what happened."
Lee was carrying me? I don't remember that.
"Grabbing me? So he did try to hit me?"
Why would Lee hit me? It makes no sense... maybe I said something to him. I don't remember
"He wasn't grabbing your arm, greenbean," Alby told me without making eye contact.
I felt suddenly exposed in the room, like all my clothes were off and everyone was looking at me. I gripped my stomach, the feeling of nausea was coming and I couldn't hold it back.
"What does that mean?," I asked him wrapping my arms around myself tightly.
"It means... Lee attacked you," Clint said softly. "That's the only way to say it..."
"But... But that can't be true," I started to rock on the edge of the bed, trying to get rid of the feeling that was closing in all around me.
"Hey," Clint sat beside me on the bed," It's okay. It's okay."
I shook my head," Clint, what happened? What happened?! What do you mean he grabbed me?! Who ... Who saw it!?"
Alby placed a hand on my knee, trying to help to comfort me," The witness said Lee had his hand up your shirt."
"Up my shirt?," I looked down at my chest. Up my shirt... He was up my shirt... "Nooo," I cried and I felt a tear fall out of my eyes. "No, no, no. Please, no."
Clint tightened his grip around my shoulders," Greenie, it's alright. Take a deep breath."
The swirling of emotions and rocking of my body made me gag and then right after, I threw up all over Alby's shoes. My throat burned and my eyes were like waterfalls and I cried out. I was gasping and kept gagging, but nothing else was coming, it was all out. I leaned over my knees and cried. Clint rubbed my back in small circles and Alby, surprisingly, did not flinch after my vomit sprayed him.
"Jeff, go grab some tea," Clint instructed.
This can't be right. No, this isn't right. I don't remember that. I don't remember. I'd remember that
My skin felt sticky, like I had gotten honey all over me, but there was nothing on me. I felt like there was second layer on me now, it felt dirty and I wanted to scratch it and scrub it off but there was nothing that would work.
"No, no, no," I mumbled through the tears.
"Greenbean, take some deep breaths. Calm down."
"So you don't remember any of that," Alby asked me gently.
I shook my head in my hands as the tears kept streaming, I knew if I talked my voice would be hoarse.
It can't be true. I need to talk to Newt. I was with him all night.
I sniffled and tried to wipe the tears but I couldn't control my sobbing," I sat up. "I... I need to t-talk t-to Newt.," My voice bounced as I struggled to suck in air.
"First you need to calm down," Clint told me.
"No, please. Please, I n-need to s-s-see him."
Jeff came in with some steaming tea and Clint brought it to my lips, I pulled away," No," I refused it. "I w-want to s-see Newt."
It was working slowly, I could hear myself sounding more controlled, my breathing was starting to slow, while I kept my focus off what they had told me and on calming down so I could see Newt. I took a deep breath in and out.
"Please, Alby, I need to see him. I w-was w-w-with him all n-night. He would know. He m-must have seen something."
"You can't see Newt right now... he's in the Slammer."
"Alby," Clint came to my rescue. "You can make an exception. This is... different."
"I was with him all night. He'll know what happened," my voice getting smoother as I fought Alby.
"I already talked to Newt about last night, he has no memory of it, same as you. He fell asleep and I was the one who woke him up when the Glader came to me about what they saw."
"I need to talk to him, please," I could feel my serenity slipping as I was being denied my only request. The hysteria was slowly creeping back.
"Drink the tea first," Alby instructed. "I need to make sure you're really calm."
I took the cup from Clint's hands without hesitation and poured the scalding liquid in my mouth. It's hot contrast on my raw throat stung and made my eyes water, but I couldn't stop until it was all gone. I tossed the cup to Alby.
"Let's go," I stood up, and my legs felt numb, I stumbled and feel back on the bed.
"How much did you put in," I heard a distant muffled voice ask.
The room was a spinning loop of colors and I tired to blink it away but it wasn't working.
"I don't know, like half of our supply."
"Come on, let's lay her down."
I saw the colors swirl, but I didn't feel myself move, I closed my eyes, it was making me so dizzy, then it all slipped to blackness. I woke up, I was in the med hut, I rubbed my eyes and sat up.
"Hey there," I heard Clint and he came over to me.
I'm in med hut?
"Why am I in the med hut?"
"How does your head feel?," Jeff asked.
"It hurts."
Jeff and Clint glanced to one another, but Clint shook his head.
"Are you guys okay?"
They were acting weird... then I remembered my dream, about being here with Alby. Lee attacking me. Newt being in the Slammer. It wasn't a dream, that was real.
I started to breath faster,"So, it's true. What Alby said?," I needed to know it wasn't all some weird nightmare.
Clint dropped his head,"Yes," he told me softly. "Take some deep breaths, Greenie."
I felt paralyzed, I was frozen in this cot as my mind raced back to the other night; plunging into the darkness of the memories, it was only black, there was nothing else there. I saw flashes, Jeff in the tree and heard laughing, but there was nothing else I could do the make it reappear.
"Is Newt still in the Slammer?," I asked.
"Yeah, they had a Gathering and they still are stuck on what should be done."
"A gathering," I looked to my left out the door, it was dark. "What? How long did I sleep."
"I'm sorry about that," Clint apologized and saw on the end of the bed. "Jeff gave you too much."
"You drugged me?!"
"Greenie, you know I did for good reason."
"I don't care, Clint! I need to see Newt."
He sighed," You know you shouldn't do that."
"I don't care," I pushed to covers off myself.
"Wait, wait, wait," Clint stopped me. "The drug we gave you... you can't stand up, not so soon."
"Then I'll crawl," I went to jump out of the cot but Clint blocked me.
"Greenie, just take a minute, alright."
"If you cared so much, then you shouldn't have drugged me," I snapped.
Clint sighed and pulled away from me, "You need to rest."
"No, I have to see him. If you're so concerned about it then go get him, bring him here."
Clint eyebrows furrowed," Did you not hear me? He's in the Slammer."
"Open the lock, bring him here."
"I can't do that. He might run or riot, I can't let him out."
"He won't, you know he won't. Newt has be the second in command here too long for you not to trust him. He won't do anything, just tell him I need to see him, he won't fight or anything."
"Greenie, he should stay there and you need to take it easy."
"No," I snapped and threw my arms down on the blanket. "I need to know. Either you go get him or I'll crawl out of here."
Clint kept his eyes on mine for a minute of silence. "Stay here," was all he said before leaving.
I looked to Jeff, he stood watching the door, as if he could still see Clint. He was anxious, I could see it, he was moving back and forth between his feet and biting his lip.
I waited in the bed, I pulled at the ends of my hair, a few strands came loose. I twisted them around my fingers, letting them dig into my skin and turning the tips bright red, then dark red, then purple. I let the pressure go and watched it all fade back to my original tone. Why did Newt get put in the Slammer? What rule did he break? Is Clint really going to get him...or is he getting Ably? I wish Jackson were here... I pulled some more hair out and wrapped it around my fingertip again. I heard movement outside, I turned towards the door and Newt walked in quickly and came straight to me, pulling me into him while sitting down beside me.
"Newt," I cried into him chest.
"Shhh," he rubbed my hair," I got you. I got you."
"Is it true? Is it really true?," I asked him.
He squeezed me tighter," I don't want it to be."
Emotions were swirling inside of me. I was confused about everything that was happening, I wanted to remember but couldn't. I was frustrated with the Glade and I felt betrayed all over again. Unknowingly, tears spilled out of my eyes, I brought my hands up to wipe my streaming eyes, but still didn't pull away from him.
"What happened? Why are you in the Slammer?"
"Doesn't matter," he told me.
"No, you have to tell me," I looked up to him. "No one is telling me anything, you can't do that too."
He face was stern, but he looked down to me softly," I might of got into a fight."
"A fight?"
"I punched someone."
"What?," I sat up. "You punched someone? You?!"
Newt's jaw tightened," It.. It's done."
I knew. I knew immediately who it was.
"You punched Lee," I clarified.
Newt blinked and showed no emotion," Yes."
"Oh shuck," I covered my face with my hands. "This is my fault."
Newt took my hands away from my face forcefully, gripping them tightly inside his own. He looked desperate and terrified," No, please. No. You can't think that."
"I... I just don't understand."
Newt squeezed my hand," I don't either."
"What's happened? Why won't they let you out. You had a Gathering?"
"Yeah, some of the lads think I did the right thing. Others... don't."
"But... I don't remember anything... I don't remember seeing Lee at all that night."
"He talked to you... maybe once or twice. But I... I can't remember much else about him."
"Newt...," I felt another tear slip. "Maybe nothing happened, right? Maybe Lee didn't do anything. The witness could have lied or something... Who is the witness?"
Newt brought his hand up and cupped my cheek, using his thumb to stroke away my tears. He looked at me with such sadness, it made my heart ache.
"I believe him, I think he's telling the truth," I could see the words pained Newt to say.
"Who?"
Newt searched my eyes, I didn't know what he was looking for but I'm sure he wouldn't find anything behind my sadness and desperation. I brought my hand to my face, gently placing it on top of his weaving my fingers between his.
"Please, Newt. Don't leave in the dark."
"Gally," Newt told me without blinking.
Gally… Gally saw Lee. He saw Lee do that...
I shook my head, pulling away from Newt and the tears came quicker. Newt pulled me close to him again and softly whispered to me and stroked my hair until Clint tugged at Newt's sleeve.
"I have to take you back."
"Clint, please, don't," I begged him.
"Greenie, I have to," I could tell Clint didn't want to.
"I'll take him," Jeff offered.
Newt looked at me, his honey glazed eyes were wet, apparently a few tears had spilled while I was buried into his chest. I could tell he wanted to stay, he wanted to be with me it was almost like he was waiting for me to give him permission to go, that he wouldn't leave without it.
"You have to go," I mumbled in a hoarse voice.
"I know," but he made no effort to move. We stayed silent for a moment before Clint nudged him again. "Yeah, okay...," Newt sighed. "Hey," he squeezed my hands again. "I'll see you soon."
I nodded, more tears flowing out as Newt pulled me into a tight hug.
He whispered into my ear," Talk to Jackson."
I nodded into his shoulder, not wanting to let him go, but then his body was gone and I was cold and alone. I looked up but Jeff had taken him out, back to his punishment. I curled over and cried, this time Clint sat beside me, rubbing my back, but it was nothing compared to the comfort that Newt had offered.
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