I woke up the next morning with a smile on my face, I felt revitalized and ready to start the day. As I sat up to crawl out of the hammock, Newt's arms wrapped around me and pulled me back down.
"No," he grumbled sleepily. "Not yet."
I giggled," I have to get to the kitchen."
"It's too early," he fought me without opening his eyes. The Slicers were all getting up along with the Builders, Jeff and Clint; Sloppers got to sleep in a little more usually and so did the apparent second-in-command.
I leaned in and kissed him softly, today I was the one feeling bold enough to display our relationship to the entire Glade. As I pulled away, Newt had a smug little smile glued to his face.
"Why are you smiling," I asked him.
"You just kissed me, that would make any man smile," he opened his eyes and my heart jumped. His golden honey pools were so dazzling in the low light of morning.
"You're cute," I told him and gave another peck, before leaping off the hammock.
"No, wait," he called dramatically. "Come back!"
"I'll see you later," I sang as I skipped away and headed for the kitchen. Today it was pouring rain, no way anyone was leaving the Homestead, I pushed past the boys standing and watching it fall so I could run o the kitchen and help Siggy get prepared. Of course he was already there and moving bowls around.
"Sorry I'm late," I apologized.
"Here," he handed me a spoon. "Start putting it in," he gestured.
As I was spooning the goop into bowls, Siggy was moving around the kitchen in a fluster, vigorously searching for something he couldn't find.
"What are you looking for?"
"The extra cups... they have to be somewhere."
"Here, let me help," I offered.
"No, just keep spooning," Siggy demanded in a gruff.
I did as I was told and kept my eyes on the bowls as I could feel Siggy grow more and more frustrated. I flinched when he slammed his hand down on the counter beside me. After a few seconds, I heard his ragged breaths return to normal.
"Do you want my help?," I offered again quietly.
Siggy sighed," I don't know where they are."
"Do you remember where we put them last?" I cautiously looked over to him.
Siggy was staring at the ceiling and folded his arms," No. Joe was the last one to put them away."
"Oh...," was all I could muster the courage to say.
"I...," Siggy paused like he waned to say something but it just wouldn't come out. He pursed his lips and then sucked in a breath, holding the words back.
"Newt says that talking it about it helps."
Siggy nodded, still looking up to the ceiling," Truth is... I miss him. I miss him bad, little kid was like a brother to me."
"I miss him too," I looked down to the spoon in my hands.
"He was quiet, but he was good. Never cause no harm to nobody here, always good."
"He didn't deserve what happened," I agreed.
"No," Siggy's hand went up and his pinched his eyes, it looked like he was holding back the tears. "I just miss him is all."
"It's okay," I tried to comfort him. "You guys were friends, it's okay to miss your friends."
"I shoulda known better. Can't get too close, ya know? Anybody could be gone at any minute."
"But if we did that, what's the point of even living?," I heard my words and felt like Newt would be proud of me. Siggy nodded silently and I reached out and placed my hand on his arm," I really am sorry Siggy," tears prickled in my eyes. "If I... If I wouldn't have been so, so stupid, none of this would have happened," the tear fell down my cheek.
Siggy finally looked over, his eyes were stained red," Now come here," he opened his arms. "Don't say that, it ain't true." I hugged Siggy tightly, squeezing my eyes closed in hopes to stop the tears. "None of this your fault," he rocked me slowly. "I bet we looking silly, like we crying over cups."
I pulled away and wiped my eyes, a small smile on my face in light of his joke,"Yeah, I bet you're right," I sniffled.
"Come on then, let's get this slop to those boys," he pushed off the counter and went outside to grab the cart.
After passing out the food, I wandered through the maze of hammocks until I found my own, Siggy wouldn't need me for a while and I was being lulled to sleep by the chatter around me. I lay in my hammock, gently pushing myself back and forth with my eyes closed until I heard a distinct voice, one I had not recognized was so close.
"Well if we don't get more than we can't do it," it said.
Gally.
My eyes shot open and I sat up, seeing Gally standing just a few yards away. He hadn't crossed my mind in a while, with everything that had happened I had forgotten. Gally was the one who found me... he was the one who saved me from Lee. I haven't really had a chance to talk to him all, except for that night in the Med Hut and then that time at the Builder's table. What an awful night that was... I pushed off the hammock and made my way to where he stood with the Bricknicks.
"Hey," Alec smiled, he was the first one to see me.
"Hey guys," I greeted them with a wave.
"Greenie," Henry leaned over. "When are you gonna cook again, eh? I'm hanging on by a thread here," he grabbed his stomach dramatically.
"Slim it," Alec hit him over the head. "If Fry heard you say that, you won't eat for a week!"
"Gally," I turned to him. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Sure," he said and followed me away from his friends. I tried to spot an area where it was secluded, as private as I could make it with literally the entire Glade surrounding us.
"You okay?," he asked as I turned to face him.
"I just don't think I've ever thanked you Gally."
Gally bowed his head, he knew what I meant.
"Please don't."
"No, I should. I've been meaning to, I guess I've just been pushing it off."
"No, it's okay, really," Gally kept his eyes on the ground.
"Gally...," I wrapped my arms around myself. "I really mean it. If you," I paused as two Gladers walked past us and took in a slow breath. "If you hadn't been there, if you hadn't gone to my room," I stopped myself again.
"You don't have to thank me for having your back, Greenie," he told me.
"But I do," I pushed through the weird taste in my mouth. "I want you to know that I really am appreciative of what you did. I know... Lee was one of your friends, he was your guy, a builder."
"Greenie," Gally sounded extremely uncomfortable. "It doesn't matter who he was, what he did was wrong and he got what he deserved. The whole Glade agrees on that."
He said it like he believed it but something inside of me didn't accept that. If everyone had been so adamant about Lee and what he had done was wrong it shouldn't have taken multiple gathering to determine his guilt. I bit my lip and held back the words lingering in my throat and chose now as a good time to apologize.
"I also... should say that I'm sorry."
Gally's eyes lifted and his face was scrunched with confusion," What for?"
"For... for when I hit you. I saw that you had a bandage on your nose the next few days. I had been meaning to tell you how bad I felt about it."
Newt chuckled lowly," Greenie, you don't have to apologize, but I admit you're elbow is way pointier than I expected...," his smile faded. "I wanted to talk to you too, but I guess no one really knows the time for these things. I wanted to say I'm sorry, about the whole thing with Jackson."
My breath caught at his name, Jackson.
"I should have just left it alone that night when he was in your room, it wasn't really any of my business."
"So Alby told you," I asked to which he nodded silently.
"Jackson was a good guy," Gally concluded. "He didn't deserve what happened to him, neither did Joe or Tucker," Gally sucked in a breath. "It's the worst feeling in the world, I can tell you."
That's right, my brain clicked. Gally had been stung before.
"You were stung," I echoed my thought out loud.
"Yeah," he sounded embarrassed. "But we had the serum that time, so I pulled through."
I quickly looked around me to check no one else was near by," Can you tell me about it?"
"Tell you about it?"
"Yeah... I just... I just think about Jackson and how he went through it and how alone he must have felt."
Gally swallowed," Greenie, you don't want to think of him like that, I promise you."
"Please Gally," I was begging. "I know you told me before but I need to hear it again."
"It's...," he glanced over his shoulder. "It's pain like you've never felt before," he kept his voice low. "It feels like it's ripping you apart from the inside, a fire spreading in your blood. I thought my body was gonna explode from it. And then it's like I saw things, things that weren't there."
"So you hallucinated?"
"It wasn't like that either, it was like people and voices... I saw a place I'd never seen before, but it looked like a place I knew... The people there were strangers but I knew their voices, it was no one here in the Glade. Some boy and girl..."
"What does that mean?"
"I'm not sure," Gally admitted shaking his head.
"You bothering my girl?," Siggy came up to us laughing.
Gally acted like we hadn't been just talking about what we were and laughed along.
"No, just begging her to get back to cooking, get a break from your stuff."
Siggy's smile wavered," I'll make sure to make one less bowl tonight."
Gally laughed," You know I'm teasing Frypan!"
Siggy grinned," Oh I know too well. Get on, I need her for lunch," he ushered me away from Gally.
The rain had started to lighten up after breakfast and the Gladers went on about their day, the runners however did not go out. I saw Ben and he and Alby went off together, they were talking in hushed voices. Mihno ran after then to catch up and Hank followed, but not before catching me watching them and reporting it to Mihno. I looked away and scurried in the opposite direction to hide in the Deadhead, this was the perfect time to find Jackson.
I couldn't sit on the ground, it was caked with thick, slippery mud. Lucky for me, I caught myself on the trees before falling down.
"Jackson," I let out a shaky breath as I stood in front of his grave. "Today I talked o Gally, he told me more about the Griever sting... how painful it is and that you see things like hallucinations and stuff. He said he saw people, but... I hope it's not the same for everyone. I hope you weren't scared, Gally describes it like some nightmare with people staring at him. I hope you got to see something beautiful,something that you made you happy. Maybe you saw a way through the maze or something else beyond the maze."
I shuffled, the pain of him being gone was still fresh and was creeping through me.
"Is it bad... that I," I stopped myself from saying it. I wish that they hadn't used the serum on Gally and had saved it for you. "That's not really fair though," I admitted in a soft voice. "I owe Gally a lot... but I owe you way more, Jackson," I wiped the tear off my cheek. "You made me feel so real here and now you're gone it all lies on Newt... I almost feel bad for him," I sniffled.
"You've already missed so much, Newt's kissed me and now... he loves me," I let a small smile touch my lips. "I'm in love," I whispered to Jackson. "I love him, Jackson... and you don't even get to bask in what you achieved for me. Because, if it wasn't for you, Newt and I would still just be hiding our feelings for each other. I know if you were here, you'd give me that stupid smug grin and tell me how 'you always knew'... and you were right," then I grinned. "I also have a big secret, finally something really juicy for you... last night, Newt and I, we almost.. well, you know," I let a small giggle escape.
"I don't know why I stopped it," I told him. "I guess I got scared, but I still don't even really know why. I love him, but I don't want us to just regret it; I know I wouldn't, but I just mean if he did... that would hurt. Newt was really sweet about it, he had a picnic and it was perfect," I reminisced.
I heard a shuffle from behind me, I whipped around but I was alone. I listened and heard the shuffle again, but now over to the left, I crept closer to it. Someone was here, I followed them sneakily until I saw the blond tuft of hair. Ben? I saw him pacing, muttering to himself, he reached up and grabbed his hair in tight fists.
"Ben?," I called out to him.
He looked over to me, his red rimmed eyes wide, he dropped his hands," Oh, hey."
"Are you okay?" I came out from behind a tree.
"Me? Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine," he nodded vigorously.
"Ben, what's wrong?"
"Nothing," he plastered a fake smile that was off balance with his red face and hollow eyes.
"Ben, I'm not stupid," I crossed my arms. "What is going on with you?"
"Nothing," Ben replied and turned away from me.
"It's something," I reached out to turn him around but he flinched at my touch and pulled away. "Sorry," I apologized.
"No, no, it's fine," he kept his back to me, his voice sounded hoarse.
"Ben... you're a shank... you can talk to me," I tried to coach him into spilling.
He scoffed," Sure I am."
"We are... at least I thought."
"You sure have a funny way of showing it," he mocked.
What is he talking about? Is he being weird because he heard me talking to Jackson? Oh god... I'll die if anyone knows about that!
"Ben, did you hear me?!," I panicked.
"What?," he looked over his shoulder.
"Did you hear me at the graves?"
He shook his head," You'll be surprised to know that not everything in the Glade revolves round you. I didn't even know you were out here, I came here to be alone, so if you don't mind, shank."
His malicious tone was harsh and stung me internally.
"What is your problem," I was doing being sensitive with him. "Why are you being such a slinthead!"
Ben finally turned to face me, he opened his mouth, words ready to tumble out but he clenched his hands. "Forget it," he said through gritted teeth. "Stay away from me," he grunted as he turned and left.
What just happened?! I thought as I watched him weave through the trees and escape from my sight. I tried to piece it all together as I made my way back to the kitchen. When dinner was over and we gave the dirty dishes to the Sloppers and Newt waited outside the kitchen leaning against the door. When I said goodbye to Siggy, he grabbed my hand and smiled, and together we walked to the Homestead
"Exciting day?," he asked.
"Is the Glade ever exciting?"
"It has good moments too," he grinned and leaned in to place a kiss on my cheek.
I blushed," I never knew you were such a romantic."
"Really? I thought it was one of my more obvious traits."
"I guess I'm still learning about you," I grinned and we stopped just outside the Homestead. "I have to run and take a shower. The Deadhead was so muddy today."
"Want to go for a run tonight?," he asked.
I nodded," Sounds good. We should go before I shower then."
"Good plan," he said and we walked around the Homestead. He brought our hands up to his mouth and twisted them to place a gentle kiss on my knuckles. "Ready?," he asked in a seductive tone. I didn't know it that was on purpose of an accident.
"In a second," I stepped forward, looking at him from under my lashes, I saw him swallow nervously. I unlaced our hands and let my fingers dance up his chest to his neck and then land on his face. Newt caught his breath as I stood on my tip toes and leaned in, his arms instinctively when around my waist. I leaned closer and closer, making the moment slow motion and when I saw Newt close his eyes is when I stopped, our noses lightly brushing one another, lips less then an inch away.
"Go," I whispered and turned, ripping from his arms and running into the trees. I laughed wildly as I dove into the trees and heard Newt close behind me, I looked over my shoulder to see him chasing me with a wide smile. Newt caught up to me quicker than I thought and as we left the Deadhead he had pulled out in front. I tried to run faster but it wasn't working. We rounded the Bloodhouse and were headed to the Garden when he looked over his shoulder with a confident smirk. I tried my best to regain the lead but I couldn't, so I chose to cut through the garden and cut him off.
"HEY!," he called as I laughed and pulled into first place. Even with my minimal cheat, Newt got the best of me and won the race, but just barely.
I leaned forwards, my breathing was ragged and harsh, we both were gasping for air.
"Cheater," Newt told me between breaths.
"How... How did ... you get so... fast?," I asked.
Newt laughed," I've always been fast," he stood up.
"Could've fooled me," I taunted him.
He raised an eyebrow," Want to go again?"
I shook my head," No, I forfeit... besides I need to shower."
"So I won this time, what's my prize?," he asked cockily.
"Hmmm," I put my chin in my hands and pretended to think. "I don't have anything to give you."
Newt sauntered towards me, a glint danced in his dazzling eyes," Oh yes you do."
I swallowed and looked up to catch his eye as he stood before me," And what would that be?"
He chucked low in his throat, reaching over to brush a strand of hair from my face," I want to hear you say it again."
"Say what," I felt breathless as he leaned closer to me.
I felt his lips brush my ear," You know what I'm talking about," he growled lowly.
My heart picked up and I felt a shiver run through me, I knew what he was talking about for sure.
"I love you," I turned to him as his face was practically buried into my hair and neck.
"The best prize I could ask for," he smiled and let his hand brush my face, gently stroking my cheek.
I knew I was blushing, but hopefully the flush of my face from the run was blocking it for the most part.
"When am I ever going to pay you your favor?," he asked.
"You could say it back," I smiled.
"A favor is something I don't want to do but would do anyway. I want to tell you that I love you everyday," he grinned.
I went to the showers and washed off the grime and sweat of the day, feeling revitalized and radiant when I returned to the Homestead. It was quiet, most Gladers were in a deep sleep as I maneuvered through the cots to where I saw Newt. He had taken off his shirt and was lightly swinging the hammock with his foot while he had his eyes closed. He usually slept with his shirt on so this was new to me, I almost wanted to ask him why he had taken it off, but he opened one eye and caught me staring at him.
He grinned happily," Look at you standing there with your mouth open," he taunted me.
"My mouth is not open," I grabbed my jar of lavender mix and rubbed some on my chest before climbing in beside him.
Newt wrapped his arm around me and kissed the top of my head," It was hot last night, I'm surprised you didn't wake up in a pool of my sweat."
"Gross," I scrunched my nose.
"Exactly," he agreed. "So I thought this would help."
I rested my hand on his bare chest, watching his chest rise and fall and feeling his heart beat through my fingers.
"I don't mind it," I told him. "But you need to shower tomorrow," and laughed. "Lucky for me this stuff Clint and Jeff made is strong, but if I didn't, you'd be sleeping on the floor," I glanced up to him with a grin so he's know I was just teasing him.
Newt's eyes were already closed, sleep just minutes away as he murmured, "Good to know," and stroked my hair. I was lulled to sleep by the gentle swing of the world and smell of flowers.
