Normality:

Naruto Uzumaki had a dream.

One day, he'd become Hokage, and then everybody would have to stop treating him like an outcast and acknowledge him. That was why he was going to paint the faces of all the previous Hokage's with colorful paint he'd stolen, erm, borrowed, to color them. As he did, he couldn't wait to see the reactions on the faces of all those jerks.

For as long as he could remember, everyone had looked down on him and ignored him. But he'd show them and become a greater Hokage than anyone ever had before. Then, there'd be a huge Fourth Shinobi World War, and he would inspire everyone in all the villages. And he'd end up being worshipped like a god and marry Hinata, and that jerk Neji would die taking arrows for him or something.

Couldn't Hyuga block arrows with their special abilities?

Whatever, they were probably arrows that were immune to Kaiten or something. It didn't matter. The point was that Naruto was going to have his dream just as soon as reality would stop getting in the way.

For now, he scaled up the hill toward the Hokage summit.

The paint in his hands was heavy, but he was pretty sure he could do it. He made his way up the paths little by little, the paintbrush in his teeth. As he did, he sighed, realizing that this was a pretty far walk. And he had to make it up there before the night ended and paint it before anyone saw.

Come to think of it; this was seeming like an impossible job.

But what else was Naruto supposed to do? Just go home?

"And where do you think you're going?" asked a simple question.

Naruto Uzumaki froze in place, feeling something very sharp at his neck. Looking up nervously, he saw an unbelievably hot, dark-haired woman. She was dressed in nets and had huge tits, which was insignificant compared to the knife.

"I can stand here all day if you'd like," said Anko Mitarashi.

Naruto put down the paint carefully and took the brush out from between his lips. "Um, I was uh... going to do some artwork on some stones near here..."

"The stones overlooking Konoha, right? The ones shaped like our founding citizens?" asked Anko.

"No, no way," said Naruto. "I just uh..."

"You're a bad liar," said Anko. "We've got your pattern pretty well nailed down by now. Whenever someone slights you, you vandalize their property with paint and make a run for it. Then your sensei has you clean it off, and you enjoy the attention."

"Well, no, I just... um..." Naruto hesitated.

"Do you have any idea how much trouble you are in?" asked Anko. "This isn't some merchant who told you to get out of his store for making a nuisance of yourself. This is the sacred monument to Hashirama, Tobirama, Sarutobi, and Minato, the four Hokage, one of whom is still alive.

"You could end up in prison if you pulled a stunt like this."

"Prison?!" said Naruto. "But I um... nothing like that has happened before-"

"Because you hadn't done anything that couldn't be fixed by endless scrubbing and a fine," said Anko. "Cleaning the Hokage monuments is done very rarely and by experts. It's an expensive process designed to ensure the stonework doesn't erode.

"Do you really want to spend the rest of your life trying to work off that kind of debt? Because it's a very high price tag. Especially since you could end up paying it in prison."

"I uh... I think I'm going to head back now," said Naruto, turning around.

"Where did you get those paint buckets?" asked Anko.

"I bought them," said Naruto.

"Where?" asked Anko. "In the stores that we specifically ordered not to supply you anymore? You stole them, didn't you."

"Shows what you know," said Naruto angrily. "I'm not a thief! I bought them in advance, just in case I got shut out!"

"Really?" asked Anko. "Do you have the recipe?"

Naruto nodded and went into his pocket. He'd been meaning to show it to the Hokage and kept it since. The woman read through it. Then she took the buckets and matched them up. After a moment, she sighed. "Fine, we're not calling it theft.

"But I'm still confiscating these, and I'm going to have your apartment searched."

"You can't just-" began Naruto. "You need a warrant for that."

"Warrant," said Anko, raising a sheet of paper. "The Hokage wrote it out for the next time you pulled a stunt like this. Apparently, he knew you were smart enough {and dumb enough} to try this." Then she took the paint buckets and the brush. "Count yourself lucky I caught you before you pulled this.

"And count yourself extra lucky you live here and not one of the other villages. The other Kage isn't as forgiving as the Old Man. Now get out of here, and don't pull any more stupid tricks like this again. Go home!"

"Fine, whatever!" said Naruto. "It's not like I have anyone waiting for me at home!"

And he walked off.

This was the part where the stern disciplinarian had a moment of sympathy and offered him ramen or something. But nothing of the sort happened at all, and the woman spoke with several other ninja. Then she went off with his paint to store it wherever and make a report, muttering in frustration to herself.

Naruto just wasn't important.

Naruto was never important.

So making his way home, he went into the apartment and checked the finances he'd stored up. More than enough from the last allowance he'd gotten, wherever that came from. Apparently, it was because his extended family had died in battle or something, so all the pensions went to him.

He'd tried to manage it well, but there wasn't much to spend it on.

So he showered like usual and thought that maybe he ought to clean the dishes in the sink. They'd been there a while. But it didn't seem like doing that would make any real difference. Who was he going to impress? Having other people at your house was something other people got to do.

Eventually, he opted to make himself breakfast. He thought about going to get Ramen, but he didn't think it was a good idea. As much as he liked noodles, he liked the Old Man who ran the stand more. And also his daughter.

And Naruto really had nothing to say anymore.

So he really felt like he was just killing their business by sitting there with them, especially since he started doing vandalism. Why had he decided to vandalize the Hokage monument anyway? Had he actually thought it would help him any?

It probably wouldn't have been worth it.

You had all these dreams when you were alone thinking to yourself. You imagined that you were secretly the son of the Fourth Hokage {who'd also been blonde} and the lost Prince of some ancient village. You imagined that the cute black-haired girl who was always very quiet and rarely spoke was secretly in love with you. You imagined that you and your 'rival' who never really noticed you were reincarnated demigods. Maybe you were also the chosen One of destiny and had a personal nemesis waiting for you to find them.

All these things occurred to you, these absurd thoughts, and you let them take shape. They played across your mind over and over again. And you knew they were absurd and could never be. They weren't even dreams; they were deluded fantasies that would never really happen.

But fantasy was all you had when you were alone.

Naruto was the total center of his own reality through no choice of his own. So all he could really do was try to come up with a reason for it. But in the end, he had to get to school even if absolutely no one would care if he didn't show up.

Most of the other people in his class were all from established noble families. Or as close to noble families as a ninja could get. They were scions of clans with long histories and plenty of friends and relatives to help them out. Not to mention special bloodlines which only they had. Compared to their advantages, all the effort Naruto had little effect, and it had seen him sink to the back of the class.

Maybe it was his fault. Naruto probably hadn't been putting as much effort into things as he should have. He should probably quit with the pranks and get with the program if only to make sure he graduated.

These were his thoughts as he walked into the school.

The school was better than home. He was with other people, even if he didn't know any of them. As he set his things into his locker, he reflected that he should probably stop dreaming too. He had below-average scores, no family, and no friends. A lifetime of humiliation and degradation seemed far from the worst-case scenario.

If he didn't graduate, he might end up an outcast or starve on a street corner. He'd rather take a kunai to the throat and die quickly than that.

But you couldn't live like that. If Naruto went on thinking that way, he'd just hang himself and be done with it. So if he was going to survive, he had to make it all less bleak somehow. And fantasy was the ultimate escape.

So Naruto Uzumaki smiled and convinced himself it would all work out, and he'd become Hokage. If only he got through enough challenges, the way would materialize sooner or later.

Looking up, he saw Sasuke doing the same thing. The dark-haired boy had a very neat locket, and he put it in with a scowl. He was always glowering and brooding to himself, and Naruto found it pretentious. So what if his entire family got killed when he was eight? Naruto lost his entire family before he was born. At least Sasuke had enough time to be given the basic skills he needed to be a ninja.

Naruto had to figure it out largely himself. He still remembered the laughter of the other students as he kept screwing up. Iruka-sensei had to put him through the basics of the basics in a crash course just to get him up to speed.

No, no, that was not positive thinking. You had to focus on people like they were archetypes. You had to completely filter out all the bad things, which made it clear how terrible everything was. But Sasuke was all emo and broody, and he had good reason to be, so there was nothing funny about it. Naruto supposed he could, kind of, relate on some level, but not really.

Best not to focus on Sasuke at all, then. So Naruto looked to Sakura, pink-haired and very pretty and he imagined dating her. She'd once been an outcast like him, and he moved forward. "Hey, Sakura! How are things going?"

"Oh, Naruto," said Sakura. "It's you."

"Yeah," said Naruto. "So um, how have you been?"

She brushed right past him.

"Sasuke, back on the training field there yesterday, you were great!" said Sakura, stepping forward.

"Back off, billboard brow," said another voice. Ino approached, her hair tied up above her head. "Sasuke doesn't want to be harassed by you."

"You're the one who is harassing him-" said Sakura, and Naruto tuned them out.

Sasuke wasn't reacting to either of them openly, but he never shooed them off. Naruto suspected he enjoyed having them bicker for his approval. Not that he ever showed them any concern or even had a conversation with them. Damn it, no, no focusing on Sasuke. He was a living, breathing downer, and Naruto had to look at something else.

So he walked to where Choji and Shikamaru were speaking. For a moment, he considered starting a conversation with them. But he thought he had no idea what to even bring up. Shikamaru enjoyed chess and sleeping, and Choji liked barbeque. So, Naruto looked at Kiba and noticed he was talking with Shino, with Akimaru on his head. The white dog seemed to be listening, while Shino had his shades on as always.

Neither one of them really featured in his fantasies. For one thing, Kiba wanted to be Hokage too, and neither he nor Naruto liked one another. They were a bit too similar to have any chemistry. Shino, meanwhile, kind of scared him, given that insects lived inside his flesh. So he usually kept him out of his dreams. When he did appear, he was defanged somewhat.

Hinata was a little way off, their gaze met, and then Hinata looked aside. Naruto considered what to think about Hinata. He suspected it was far more likely she disliked him or was afraid of him. Or perhaps he just was wondering what he'd do next with no real feelings involved at all.

It was fun to imagine that she was secretly infatuated and inspired by him because he tried {and failed} to save her from bullies once. Like, years ago, but if he actually acted on that assumption, it could be a disaster. Maybe humiliate her and make her cruddy home life even worse.

How to fantasize about this?

Naruto didn't want to cause trouble for her, but he also didn't want to let go of the fantasy. Probably best to just pretend like Hinata was desperately in love with him, but that he was also completely oblivious to it. That was he could act like it wasn't happening but still get the benefits.

Right, okay, that left only Lee, Tenten, and Neji, who he'd met in passing but who had left an impression.

Just keep the fantasy up and focus on work.

That was what Naruto did.

He read the histories, did his training, and worked at it harder than ever. He applied himself heavily in taijutsu class and still didn't do too well. All the hard work in the world couldn't compensate for his disadvantages. But he did better than before and made real progress.

Iruka-sensei was stern but fair, as always, and Naruto pretended to himself like they had some special father-son bond when they obviously didn't. He figured that fantasizing was fine, as long as it didn't affect anything in reality.

Imaginary bonds were really better than no bonds at all.

When he sparred, he gave it his all and usually got humiliated. When he was called to provide some factual data, he didn't fail quite as often. The dreams got more extreme as he worked, especially since he had nothing to do but train. He imagined himself to have become a universally beloved icon as he worked in solitude.

None of it would ever come true, of course.

But focusing on it allowed him to press on and get better at what he was doing day by day. Yet even as he worked, observing Sasuke excelling at everything, the task seemed all the more impossible. Even a small amount of progress only served to highlight the impossible gulf that had been put between them.

There had once been an orphan named Tenten who had joined the Leaf. She'd joined his class briefly, and he'd hoped they'd become friends. But she'd hardly talked to anyone and had chewed through the material as quickly as possible. From there, she'd graduated to the next class. Once or twice he'd seen those she had become friends with. Neji Hyuga and Rock Lee were very, very good at taijutsu. A bit of research revealed the former was a relative of Hinata's.

He'd almost gone up to them.

But Naruto had ultimately decided not to. Why not?

It was something he wasn't really sure of himself. The three of them were better adjusted than anyone in his class. Maybe it was because they had treated him well. Well, Lee and Tenten had, and Neji treated him no worse than everyone else. He'd spent years imagining that there was some demon inside him; that was why people had hated him. Or that all of the hatred was because of some evil conspiracy.

Either way, he'd waited too long. The three of them graduated and became a full ninja.

And pretty sure he was back to his usual social circle, hardly acknowledged.

Naruto sometimes wished he had a demon inside him.

If he did, then it meant that the scorn other people felt toward him wasn't for him at all. It meant that it wasn't his fault. It meant that Naruto was just an innocent victim; it meant he hadn't done anything to deserve it.

But it didn't matter in the end.

Naruto would keep all those feelings of victimization and glory and destiny in his heart. He'd live in that world when he was alone, and this one when he had work to do. He'd focus on improving as much as possible here. When the fantasies he went through started getting destroyed by reality, he adjusted them to be a bit more achievable.

That was how he kept going.

That was how Naruto Uzumaki managed to graduate with the worst stats in his class.

It was better than not graduating at all.

So he said to himself behind an eternal smile.


Author's Note:
This was originally supposed to be a fanfic where Naruto has to win his canon problems without all his hax special powers. But it ended up being the story of a suicidally depressed boy trying to continue functioning with no emotional support in a world that doesn't give a damn about him.

I'm probably not going to continue this. But if you want me to, feel free to say so and give some ideas as to how I could do so. I'll see if I can put a few more chapters together.