Chapter 10: Hallucinations
KPOV
~3 months before Rick got shot~
Gradually I walked to my parents bedroom door, knocking on it lightly and waiting outside for an answer. It was late at night and all I could do was think about my friend. Worried for her well-being and her situation back in her home, I heard my parents tell me to enter. Mom was slipping off her earings and dad was patting his chin down and checking his stubble.
"Mom...dad...I need to talk to you two," I tell them and they both look at me then to each other. When they finally looked to me, they could probably tell it was going to be something serious. They both finished whatever they were doing quickly and sat down on the bed, leaving a space for me and mom tapped the space for me to sit down.
"What's on your mind baby girl?" mom asked me and I sat down, fiddling my thumbs and looking down at them. I was unsure of what to say, they knew the story seeing as I asked dad to keep an eye out for Ella and...
"Ella...she's...she's not talked to me for over two years. Not since she moved back in with her dad. I'm...worried," I tell them and they just look at me sadly, mom's hand reached out to rub my back soothingly and dad's hand raised to touch my shoulder. He squeezed my shoulder kindly and looked at me sadly.
"She could just have...I don't know...got busy with her life and forgot to talk to you," mom tried to suggest comfortingly but I shook my head and kept my head lowered.
"It's not just that mom. She's...no one's seen her around town. Maybe her dad...God..." I sighed out as I dropped my head in my hands, I felt the bed beside me move and then saw dad crouch down in front of me.
"Hey," dad said as he gently gripped my knees and gave them a small squeeze. My head slowly lifting from my hands to let my eyes look up at his from under my lashes. "If it makes you feel better...I'll check in on her and get back to you. In the meantime...don't worry. Okay?" dad asked me and I just nod at him.
Present day...KPOV
"Morning, guys. Let's get going. We've got a lot of ground to cover," dad told us as he walked towards the group, I had just woken up and checked up on Carl. He was still sleeping but I woke him up and fed him breakfast. Mom was still sleeping but she soon enough woke up, had breakfast and started putting laundry to dry.
"All right, everyone's getting new search grids today. If she made it as far as the farmhouse Daryl and Kat found, she might have gone further east than we've been so far," dad told us as we all gathered around the map he laid out on the truck that Hershel let us borrow.
"I'd like to help. I know the area pretty well and stuff," the farmer's boy...Jimmy said as he walked towards us. His hands were in his pockets as he stopped to stand beside me, looking down at the map and then up to me and my dad.
"Hershel's okay with this?" dad asked him, raising an eyebrow at the boy and Daryl quickly slipped on a shirt. Daryl was really sweet the other day to Carol. Telling her the tale of the Cherokee rose and making her have hope. Making me have more hope than what I already had.
"Yeah yeah. He said I should ask you," Jimmy said as he looked at dad but then to me, when he gave a nod he looked to my dad and then looked at Daryl. This boy is too nervous...he's lying.
"All right then. Thanks," dad said nodding, looking back down at the map as I looked up and saw Shane sat down on his ass looking away from the rest of us.
"Nothing about what Daryl and Kat found screams Sophia to me. Anyone could have been holed up in that farmhouse," Shane spoke negatively. Where did his hope go? Why...why is he being so...lazy and just...giving up with this whole search?
"Anybody includes her, right?" I asked him, trying to make him realize that Sophia may still be out there and waiting for us. She has to be. I know she is. She's a strong girl. Like her momma. She'll survive. She has to.
"Whoever slept in that cupboard was no bigger than yay-high," Daryl explained to us, he made an estimate of the height with his hand and craned his neck to get a better look at the map. His brown hair was messy from sleep and his blue eyes slightly tired. Could have been the heat, it was a bit of a bitch and that was me being in the room, sat beside Carl as we slept.
"It's a good lead," Andrea agreed as she gave both me and Daryl a quick nod of her head. She was looking at the map when she finally finished.
"Maybe we'll pick up her trail again," dad said hopeful as he looked at Daryl and then to me. His hope is going up again. He's got faith that things will get better. I can see it. Seeing the hope in his eyes made me smile up at him.
"No maybe about it. I'm gonna borrow a horse, head up to this ridge right here, take a bird's-eye view of the whole grid. If she's up there, I'll spot her," he told us as we watched where he was indicating where he would go and have a look at.
"I'll come with you," I tell him and gave him a nod. The others all nod and Daryl just stayed silent. It's better to work in teams than to work alone. He doesn't need to work alone and I won't let him.
"Good idea. Maybe you'll see your chupacabra up there too," T-Dog teased which made me giggle quietly, making dad look at both me and then back at Daryl.
"Chupacabra?" dad asked confused as Dale walked over to us and placed the bag of guns on top of the map. Dad's eyes roamed the entire group and landed on Dale as he spoke to us.
"You never heard this? Our first night in camp, Daryl tells us that the whole thing reminds him of a time when he went squirrel hunting and he saw a chupacabra," Dale informed the rest of us which made me have to burst out laughing, covering my mouth with my hand to stop the giggles that were exiting from there. It made my dad smile and shake his head. Jimmy just looked at Daryl, then me and chuckled.
"What are you braying at, jackass?" Daryl growled at the boy who stood beside me. This made me shut up, my eyes widened a fraction of a second and then I looked down ashamed of my laughter.
"You believe in a blood-sucking dog?" dad asked Daryl slightly amused as he smirked and then looked at me. Daryl always knew how to change my mood, why I laughed at the whole chupacabra thing...I don't know why.
"Do you believe dead people walking around?" dad asked him and this made us all nod. Jimmy reached out and took one of our guns from the truck.
"Hey hey," dad said as he gripped onto the boy and the gun, slowly taking the gun off Jimmy and looking up at him. "Ever fire one before?" dad asked him as dad took the gun and held it in his hands.
"Well, if I'm going out, I want one," Jimmy said stupidly which made Daryl make a small noise, swinging his crossbow and slipping it to rest on his back like he usually did.
"Yeah, and people in hell want slurpees," Daryl joked sarcastically, walking away and I reached up onto my tiptoes to press a kiss to dad's cheek. Rushing off to go with Daryl and to prepare the horse.
I showed Daryl how to get the horse saddled and he got up first. Holding his hand out to me, I shyly looked down at it and then back into his eyes. Taking it, he helped pull me up and gave me his crossbow to hold onto. Slipping my arms around him, he made the horse move forward and I held onto him as we rode off into the woods.
RPOV
Me and Shane were talking about the women he slept around with. Also the girls I dated back in high school. My list wasn't as long as his but it was good to remember what it was like. Of those who were in our life and laughed about how dumb we were in those years, cracking jokes and remembering those who we possibly lost.
"All the people in our stories are all dead," Shane said as he walked ahead, his busted ankle made him wobble from side to side and I trailed behind him.
"We can't just forget them," I tell him, trying to keep our hopes up and the faith. We can't just forget those who made us into who we are today, or those that once mattered because the world has changed. We can go back to how things used to be, we just need to keep hope that it can.
"The hell we can't," Shane said after making a noise of disagreement.
"It's hard enough accepting what's happened without digging up the past," Shane said as he took off his cap and wiped at his nose. "I'll tell you what it is. It's nostalgia. It's like a drug. Keeps you from seeing things the way they are. That's a danger. You got people depending on you," he told me, pointing it out in the most blatant way.
"You think I don't know that?" I asked him as he slowed down and stopped to look at me. I edged further away from him at the thought of him doubting me. He's...changed. He would never doubt me or go against me. He would keep going and doing what was right. Not...this.
"I don't know," Shane said as he shrugged his shoulders at me. "What are we doing?" he asked me curiously. "You got every able body at your disposal out scourging these woods for a little girl we both know is likely dead," he tells me and I just shuffled on my feet.
"You think we should abandon the search?" I asked him, changing the weight on my feet and getting closer to him. I hope he disagrees with me and keeps looking. We need to keep pushing, we need to locate that girl and bring her to safety. Back to her mother.
"It's not my call, is it?" Shane said as he didn't look me in the eyes, he slipped on his cap back over his now bald head and kept walking. Walking away from me.
"I'm asking," I told him as he gave me his back. "I'm asking," I pleaded, my voice a little louder so that he could hear me and followed him closely.
"Survival, Rick. It means making hard decisions...but you've got this knack. You spread us thinner and thinner. I'm trying to save lives here and you're out saving cats from trees," Shane said which made me widen my eyes at him and suddenly feel anger rush through my veins.
"Is that what you think Sophia is, a cat in a tree?" I asked him, surprised he would even think the girl is just some minor thing to try and save. Going another way, I got close enough and stopped him in his tracks.
"Don't do that, man. Don't twist my words. How many times we get called up to look for a missing child, man? You got 72 hours. After 73 hours you're looking for a body...and that was before. I mean you honestly think we're just gonna find Sophia alive?" he questioned me as he brought in the past again.
"Are you that sure we won't?" I asked him as I was curious as to what he was thinking. As to what he was truly wanting to say. To not bottle it up and to let it out.
"We being completely honest?" Shane asked me in return as he looked me directly in the eyes.
"I'm counting on you to be," I state to him. He's my partner. My brother. I always want honesty between us. He sighed and looked away from me as he thought of what to say to me.
"It's math, man. Alive or not, Sophia, she only matters to the degree in which she don't drag the rest of us down," Shane said which made my face twist with disgust to his words. I thought he wanted to find this girl. To bring her back to her mom. To do good. My facial expression made Shane laugh dryly, sarcastically.
"I thought you wanted honest," he said as he turned his back on me and hit his fist hard against a tree, making it wobble and shake. "If we'd just moved on, man, we'd be halfway to fort benning right now and Carl wouldn't have gotten shot. You said so yourself...but we're out here, we're risking lives," Shane told me angered with my words and decisions.
"Your own son almost died. Man, Otis, he paid that bill. What the hell are we still doing this for?" Shane questioned me as his voice raised, he was angered and I could tell.
"I had her in my hand, Shane. She looked in my eyes and trusted me. I failed her. If I hadn't, she wouldn't be out here. I think she's still alive and I'm not gunna- I'm not gonna write her off," I tell him as I walked closer to him. "You didn't write Kat off when she went missing all those years ago," I tell him and reminded him of the time when Kat got missing that cold night.
"Those times have changed Rick! This world isn't the same anymore. Kat was lost, young and there weren't no God damned walkers roaming around Rick! This world is dangerous for kids like Sophia Rick! Don't you see that?!" Shane answered me, he then started asking me questions and I just pursed my lips.
"True...but you didn't give up hope on finding her. I won't freeze up like I did when it was her. Not anymore. If that was Carl...or Kat...would you want to abandon the search?" I asked him and he just looked away, shaking his head to himself and he turned away from me angered.
"It's blue. It's Andrea and T-Dog. Looks like we wandered into their grid," Shane explained as he looked to the cloth that was nailed into a tree, to indicate this area had been searched from their individual grids. Without another word, he turned his back on me and continued to walk.
DPOV
We were on the horse for a while, wandering around the woods in search of Sophia and found nothing. Kat slowly slipped her arms out from my waist and leaned back. "Daryl...can you slow the horse to a stop please?" she asked me softly, politely and it made me look back at her when the horse gradually came to a halt.
"What's wrong?" I asked her curious as to why she'd want me to stop and this was when I felt her body slide down the side and leave the saddle. Her feet thumping lightly to the ground as she touched it. "What're you doing?" I questioned her stunned that she got off the horse.
"I'll cover the low ground, you cover the high and get a view of the land. I'll keep searching and then we'll make our way back before the sun starts to set," she informed me. Well...she is a smart girl..."Here. Have your crossbow," she tells me and hands me my crossbow, flinging it over my shoulder and looking down at her.
"Are you sure you want to be around here alone?" I ask her and she gave me a small nod. Her brown curls were up in a bun, some curls escaping it and would bounce with every move she made. Her bow was around her torso and her quiver on her back. She had her gun, knife and machete. She's more than capable of protecting herself I just...hope she can survive if there's a herd coming our way.
Nodding, I watched as she wandered off into the woods and I rode the horse to get a clear view of the ground. I walked for a few more minutes, far enough from where I left her and close enough to my half of the grid that was now split with Kat. Killing a squirrel, I pulled out the arrow and stored the squirrel somewhere safe. Looking down, I saw a small creek and then something in the water by a log. Getting down, I tied the rope to the tree and held the horse how Kat showed me.
Slipping my crossbow off my back, I held it tightly and slowly made my way down the hill. Reaching the floor, I wandered closer to the object and picked it up. Examining it I noticed it was a doll. Sophia's doll. "Sophia!" I called to her, hoping she would hear and received no response.
Climbing up the hill, I mounted back onto the saddle and rode us to turn back slowly, to circle around the creek and get a good view of the land. "Whoa. Easy easy," I tried to calm down the horse as it saw a group of crows fly out of the bushes. "Whoa whoa whoa!" I tried to calm the horse as it saw a snake and got up onto its back two feet.
Suddenly, I lost my grip and flew off the saddle. Tumbling down the hill and into a small waterfall, my body hitting and sliding along the slippery rocks. Dropping into the water, I landed on my side and looked up at the hill. The horse had run off and left me here. "Son of a bitch," I cursed as I felt a jabbing sensation in my side, reaching for it, I then felt the tip of one of my arrows and hissed.
Gripping onto my side, I got to my feet and eventually made my way to the dry patch of ground. Pulling out my knife, I cut off my sleeves and tied them together. Wrapping the sleeves around my waist, I made it into a knot and pulled tightly, as to stop the blood flow, to keep the arrow in place and to prevent blood loss.
Looking up I saw I had a long way to go. Getting back onto my feet, I clutched to my side and panted in pain. Grabbing a long enough stick, I started to dig it into the ground to check if it could support my weight and not snap. The pain in my side making me grasp at it from the straining. Suddenly, I heard rustling coming from the bushes and looked towards it. Fuck me. Please don't let it be a walker.
I went to reach for my crossbow, touching my back and not my weapon. Fumbling around on my feet, I got back into the water and started searching for it with the stick. Poking it around in the water, waiting for the feeling of metal touching the stick and soon found it. Digging my hand, it touched the ground and lifted the crossbow up in the air. Making my way back into the dry land.
Using the stick to find solid ground, I gradually lifted myself up and made my way to the top. Groaning from the pain and straining. The effort I was putting in was painful, the ache in my side was unbearable and I felt as though my mind was spinning. "Oh, come on. You've done half. Stop being such a pussy," I encouraged myself after I reached half way and threw the stick down, not needing it anymore.
"Come on," I encouraged myself again but soon found myself slipping down the slope. Grabbing onto any trees or roots, I gripped onto it and tried to hold on. Grasping, I tried to keep my feet firm on the ground but soon found myself tumbling down again and landing on the ground hard.
LPOV
"Mind your own business, Glenn," I told him as I walked past him. He had lately been finding supplies for me. Making a run into town to get me the pregnancy test, he clearly had his questions and I didn't want to answer them nor needed to.
"You're pregnant," Glenn said quietly but loud enough for anyone who was close by to hear. Worse enough Kat knows, now he knows and Rick doesn't. He can't what...what if it's Shane's? What if...if it is Ricks?! Fuck...what a mess I've got myself into.
"You can't tell anybody, okay?" I pleaded him quietly as I placed the bucket I had in my hands on the floor, Glenn looked over my shoulder, off into the distance and then looked at me again. Turning around, I saw Shane and Rick making their way towards us, back to the farm.
"You haven't told him yet?" Glenn asked me when I turned back to look at him, his eyes meeting mine and going wide with shock slash anger.
Turning my back on him, he turned and left. Dipping out the dirty laundry water from the bucket, I made my way to the truck and looked to Rick who was making his way to me. "Something wrong?" I asked him as I looked between him and Shane who looked distant and quiet together.
"I just had a long talk with Shane..." Rick told me which made my eyes widen in shock horror. Please don't let it be about me...about the time me and Shane were..."He wants to call off the search," Rick said, pulling me out of my thoughts and made me relax a little. Thank God.
"What do you think?" I asked him, keeping my voice level and soft as to not show the fear that was inside me just minutes ago.
"What if it was Carl or Kat? Would you want us to keep looking?" he asked me which made my eyes widened. It's happened once with Kat and I would never stop looking for my children.
"If it was Carl or Kat, yes I'd want to know one way or another," I tell him admitting that I would prefer to know exactly what happened to them and if they were still alive. It's better knowing than always wondering.
"Shane says my good intentions are making us weaker, that I can't make the hard decisions for the good of the group," Rick tells me, sadness and mistrust in his tone as he spoke of Shane. Doubt colouring his face as he told me of what was going on.
"They're all hard decisions," I tell him comfortingly. There isn't a right or wrong decision anymore. There are just issues that come in our way and can make us do the hard thing when we think that it's the easy way out. No decision is every easy.
"But maybe I'm holding on to a way of thinking that doesn't make sense anymore. He says it's math, basic survival, how much fuel, how much food, how much ammo. Not much room in that equation for being soft. It's pretty simple when you start thinking of life like that," Rick spoke which seemed so low to talk about. Like nothing was ever going to make sense or benefit anyone if the only goal was to survive.
"Hey," I said as I cupped his face, making him look directly into my eyes. "None of us were prepared to be living life this way. You are making the best decisions you can with the information you have. I don't see soft in that," I tell him, keeping my strong face and determined tone. He needs to know I support him and that we all do.
"Mr Grimes. My dad wants to talk to you," the young girl Beth said as she stopped to stand behind us, looking at us awkwardly as though she caught us at a bad moment or a wrong time. Letting go of Rick's face, I looked behind me and down. Rick walked off to leave me alone to my thoughts and chores.
RPOV
"One of my horses is missing. Did one of your people take it?" Hershel asked me as he was tending to some...generator? I wasn't sure, all I know was his light blue eyes were looking at me and he seemed unamused by this fact.
"I was given the impression you knew about that," I told him honestly, unsure of what else to tell him.
"I did not," he told me slightly angered, his tone was never-changing and it would anger me at times. It's like he has no emotions. Like he doesn't want to express his anger and only stays calm.
"I'll have a word with Daryl and Kat," I reassured him as I thought of my daughter out there, with Daryl, looking for Sophia out in the woods. I just hope she's safe and that Daryl's taking care of her if there are any walkers around.
"And Jimmy? You took him out today. Did he also give you the impression of my consent?" Hershel questioned me, as though I was stupid and possibly thinking I was under him in some way. This may be his farm and his rules but...if I have been given the word of someone, I expect it to be true rather than to question them and cause headache to their carer.
"No, he said it outright. I took the boy at his word," I tell him honestly, hopeful that he would believe me even if it wasn't a lie.
"Jimmy is 17. He's not my kin but I am responsible for him. These things need to be cleared with me," he tells me as he finished off doing whatever he was doing to the machine.
"Sounds like we need to work on our communication. What do you suggest?" I ask him, my eyes wandering to look around rather than directly at him. Hershel is slightly intimidating this way and I don't want to come across as a threat.
"Keep it simple. I'll control my people, you control yours," he tells me, giving him a single firm nod, I turn my back and head back to the others.
"Dad!" I heard the familiar voice of Kat call out to me as she speed walked towards me.
"Talking about my daughter...and she shall appear," I told myself, chuckling lightly and then I looked to her questioningly as she seemed to be in a rush. "What's wrong Kat?" I asked her as I slowed down, she was getting closer and her curls bounced. What was once in a bun was now up, her curls down but was up away from her face and not cascading below her shoulders.
"Nothing, just...didn't find her or anything..." she answered me honestly, looking slightly disappointed as she got closer to me. She slowed down and tried to regain her breath.
"Where's Daryl and the horse?" I asked her as I realized she wasn't with the horse...or Daryl. What the hell happened? Where is he and the horse? Could he be placing it in the stables?
"He went somewhere, he wanted to get the high view while I took the low view of the land and found nothing," she answered my question honestly. My brows furrowed but I just nod and pulled her to me. Giving her a kiss on the forehead, I looked to the house and thought of Carl in there.
"Okay then, why don't you head inside and I'll be there soon...yeah?" I suggested to her and she just wrapped her arms around me, holding me in a hug and placing her head on my chest. When she moved away to look up at me, I placed my hand gently on her cheek, my thumb caressing it carefully and smiled at her.
"Fine. Love you daddy," she told me, her bright blues sparkling as she spoke and her pale, curved face was angelic even with all mud and dirt that covered it.
"Love you too Kitten," I answered as I pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead and allowed for her to head towards the house. When she was gone, I decided to go look for Shane and to talk to others who may be in need of some help.
KPOV
"Mom! Dad?!" I called to my parents as I rushed down the stairs to find them stood there chatting. It had been hours since I was out there with Daryl, he still hadn't returned and I was getting worried.
"Kat? What's wrong?" dad asked me kindly while I ran to them, they looked to me and watched as I got closer to them, stopping in front of them, they kept their eyes locked to mine.
"Daryl," I state as I looked between the two of them. "He's been out there for too long," I tell them and they look to each other and then back to me. Dad rest his hands on my shoulders as he stood closer to me.
"Don't worry. I'm sure he's fine out there. He's a tough one. I know he is," dad tried to reassure me but I shook my head. Feeling stubborn as to Daryl's well being. Guilt suddenly rushed through my body at the thought of something happening to him.
"What...what if he's bit? What if walkers got him?" I asked him. I don't want his blood on my hands. I have such a weird feeling in my stomach, like...I shouldn't have left him and its eating me alive. It hurts so bad...
"Kat...he'll be fine. I'm sure of it," dad told me, his bright blues staring right into mine as I was then pulled into a hug and his gentle lips pressed my forehead. Dad always knows what to say and do but...I can't shake the feeling something has gone terribly wrong.
DPOV
Hearing footsteps come closer to me, I moved my head a little and looked up. My vision was blurred but with every second and every blink, my vision got clearer. I saw...holy fuck. Am I dreaming? "Why don't you pull that arrow out, dummy? You could bind your wound better," Merle's rough voice spoke to me as he crouched enough to look me in the eyes.
"Merle," I said with a small smile on my lips. This earned me a small laugh from Merle and then he examined my situation.
"What's going on here? You taking a siesta or something?" he asked me teasingly. He never fucking changes, even when he sees I'm having a tough fucking time.
"A shitty day, bro," I told him. My body felt like a tonne of bricks was piled on me from all the falling down and the pain in my side was burning from the fall I had earlier.
"Like me to get your pillow? Maybe rub your feet?" Merle joked sarcastically.
"Screw you," I growled at him. Always the dick. Always the same old Merle.
"Huh-uh. You're the one screwed from the looks of it. All them years I spent trying to make a man of you, this is what I get? Look at you. Lying in the dirt like a used rubber. You're gonna die out here, brother...and for what?" Merle questioned me. Questioned my motives.
"A girl," I said to him, first it was a pair of bright pretty blue ones that I could see looking at me. They then changed into hazel ones, ones of a smaller and younger nature. "They lost a little girl," I tell him of why I would risk my life like this.
"So you got a thing for little girls now?" Merle joked teasingly, disturbingly and completely uncalled for.
"Shut up," I growled up at him. What an ass of a brother I have.
"'Cause I noticed you ain't out looking for old Merle no more," Merle told me, trying to make me feel guilty for him like that.
"Tried like hell to find you, bro," I tell him as I remembered seeing his hand on the rooftop, the bloody cuffs and the anger, sadness I felt over it all.
"Like hell you did. You split, man. Lit out first chance you got," he told me, my eyes were shutting every so often and my head felt heavy.
"You lit out. All you had to do was wait. We went back for you. Rick and I, we did right by you," I mumbled a little as I felt the weight of the spinning in my head, the ringing in my ears and the pains all over my body take me. My eyes shutting for longer amounts of time.
"This the same Rick that cuffed me to the rooftop in the first place? Forced me to cut off my own hand? This him we're talking about here?" he spoke which made me eyes widen at the thought it was Rick who still ended up cuffing my brother to a roof. Looking down at where Merle's missing hand should have been, I found non. What the fuck? "You his bitch now?" he asked me, insulting me and teasing me in a way I didn't like.
"I ain't nobody's bitch," I growled up at him, not liking the way he was trying to encourage me to get up and do something. He doesn't have to be that much of a prick about it.
"You're a joke is what you are, playing errand boy to a bunch of pansy-asses, niggers and democrats. You're nothing but a freak to them. Redneck trash. That's all you are. They're laughing at you behind your back. You know that, don't you? I got a little news for you, son. One day they gonna scrape you off their heels like you was dogshit," he told me. Why doesn't he just shut the fuck up and leave me alone?
"Hey," he said as he pat my chest once, to get me to keep my eyes opened and look at him. "They ain't your kin, your blood. Hell, you had any damn nuts in that sack of yours, you'd got back there and shoot your pal Rick in the face for me. Now you listen to me," he said as he took my chin between three of his fingers. "Ain't nobody ever gonna care about you except me, little brother. Ain't nobody ever will," he said as he patted my chin.
"You're lying," I told him, my mind drifting a little and making me look up at him slightly angry, my eyes rolling as I felt the weight pull me under some more.
"Why? You think that long lashed, doe eyed pretty girl would ever like you? Would ever care about you like I do?" he said and then laughed that rough, cracked up laugh he always did. "You really are high right now ain't ya?" he asked me. "Come on, get up on your feet and get some pussy before I have to kick your teeth in," he said with a firm pat of my chest and stood up straight. "Let's go," he told me as he began to kick the heel of my shoe.
My mind began to clear up as I heard gurgling coming from where my feet was, my leg wobbling a little from the impact of a walker had as it gripped my shoe. Trying to eat my shoe, it growled and clung to my shoes and legs. When it saw me notice it, the walker looked up and snarled at me.
Panicked, I shuffled up and tried to move away from it. Kicking it in the face with my free foot, I shuffled closer to my crossbow and saw him pounce on top of me. Grabbing my knife, I tried to aim for its head but we rolled around. Getting a good stab to its elbows and a few times into it's neck. Throwing him to one side, I got to my knees and picked up the stick I threw down a while ago.
The walker got to his feet and started to walk to me, knocking it to its back with the stick, I climbed on top of it and smashed its head in. Groaning and panting as I did so. Seeing a walker make its way towards me, I laid down and pulled the arrow out of me, trying not to scream.
Holding the bolt between my teeth, I picked up my crossbow and pulled the string back. Straining and groaning as I got it in place, slipping the arrow in and watching the walker get closer to me. Laying back down, I watched the walker get super close, aiming and shooting, it went into its head and fell face first to the floor.
Panting, I sat up and moved to sit up on a rock. Sitting down, I took off my shirt and folded it up to place it against my now opened wound. Tying the sleeves around my waist, I pulled tightly and lifted my crossbow to keep it in my hands. "Son of a bitch was right," I mumbled as I felt like I had tended to my wound better now without the arrow inside me.
After fixing up my wound a little, I grabbed the squirrel I hunted and pulled the knife out of the walker's neck. Placing the squirrel onto the log, I cut it open and ate it raw. Trying to gain some of that blood I had lost before and now due to the wound being opened.
Grabbing the doll, I placed it to dangle and gripped the sleeves that held it to me tightly. Making sure it was secure. Taking my knife, I took off some of the black shoelaces from the walker and cut off both of their ears. Stringing it on the shoelace, I made a knot and placed it over my head to let it dangle around my neck.
Gaining the strength, I grabbed my stick and began to climb up with it. Using the stick for support, I would grip onto the trees and climb up the hill. Feeling my side sting and burn from the pain, I hissed and gripped onto the tree tightly, looking up I saw birds fly above me. Fuck...Vultures...
"Please, don't feed the birds," Merle's voice teased. Looking up, I saw Merle above and looking down at me. "What's the matter, Darylina? That all you got in you?" he asked me as I strained myself to try and get up. "Throw away that purse and climb," he told me, while I stopped and panted before finding strength in me to keep moving, shuffling to get to the top.
"I liked it better when you was missing," I admitted to him. This only made him chuckle that raspy, sarcastically amused chuckle he had. Always looking down on me, talking to me like I was nothing. He always thinks he's better than everyone else. Asshole
"Come on, don't be like that. I'm on your side," Merle shouted down at me, for a small glimpse, I looked up and saw him bending a little, his hands on his knees as he didn't even try to help me up. Don't need his help anyway. Don't need anyone.
"Yeah? Since when?" I questioned him, remembering all the time I spent alone and not once was he there to help me through any tough situation. If there's anything I've learnt from Merle is to look out for number 1. Ourselves.
"Hell, since the day you were born, baby brother. Somebody had to look after your worthless ass," Merle growled down at me, trying to convince me that he was my guardian. That he was my perfect brother. Like he could ever be compared to how Kat looks out for Carl. She'd do anything and everything for Carl...for her family.
"You never took care of me. You talk a big game but you was never there. Hell, you ain't here now. Guess some things never change," I tell him as I slowly shuffled further up and watched as he kept his eyes on me. He's just an illusion, some hallucination after the fall.
"Well, I'll tell you what I'm as real as your chupacabra," he told me which made me slightly angry with him. You cut off your hand and left me. You ain't here and you'll never be here...not anymore.
"I know what I saw," I growled up at him as I tried to jump up the hill, forcing my body up and not reaching very far up. Fuck. Why is this harder than what I thought it was going to be in my head?!
"And I'm sure them shrooms you ate had nothing to do with it, right?" Merle joked trying to make me seem like a drug addict. "Just like you can see that pretty blue eyed girl wanting to be with you? What was her name again? Kristy? Kristen? Kitty?" Merle asked me which made my heart pound more than it already was in my chest. What? Why the fuck is he mentioning her?!
"Katherine," I growled up to him, forcing myself to try and turn around. Looking up to him as he spoke the next part.
"Oh yeah! That pal of yours Rick's daughter," Merle teased, knowing how much he hated Rick and how I still wasn't happy with him leaving Merle to that rooftop. "Guess what baby brother? She ain't gonna let you lay a hand on her. Not on her titties not on anything," Merle said which made me grit my teeth, clawing up as well as I could up the hill.
"Especially not big ol' daddy Rick. He'd rather she died than have some redneck white trash like you be anywhere near his daughter," Merle said which made my heart drop but the blood in my veins boil. Rick ain't got anything to do with Kat. It's her choice and yeah...she may not want me but...I don't want to see her hurt.
"You'd best shut the hell up," I shouted up at him, knowing he finally got on my final nerve. I'm gunna climb and I'm gunna make sure that Kat's safe. That she's well and happy. Maybe even fucking kiss those soft red lips of hers!
"Or what? You're gonna come up here and shut my mouth for me? Well, come on and do it then, if you think you're man enough," Merle said as he stood up straight with his arms out either side, palms facing to the sky and glaring down at me.
"Hey, kick off them damn high heels and climb, son," he told me while he laughed, which only made me force myself to climb more than I had already had. I had been climbing since he mentioned Kat. Climbing as well as I could, I gripped onto anything that would give me support.
"You know what? If I were you I'd take a pause for the cause, brother. 'Cause I just don't think you're gonna make it to the top," he said as I gripped the trees and lifted my lower torso. Forcing myself to climb up and to keep going. "Come on. Come on, little brother. Grab your friend Rick's hand," Merle said as he gave me his hand, reaching out for me but not in the most trustful way.
I kept climbing, struggling but doing everything in my power to get up there and to beat his face in. "Yeah, you'd better run," I screamed out when I finally got up the top, searching around for Merle but he had already left. This was when I decided to make my way back to the farm, never looking back and keeping the doll tightly to me.
KPOV
"Walker. Walker!" Andrea screamed out into the distance as she stood up, I was going to speak to dad about Daryl again when I heard Andrea announce this. Rushing out dad and I went to talk to her, Shane limping his way towards us as Glenn and T-Dog followed closely.
"Just the one?" dad asked her as he rushed forward, I stuck closely behind and he tried to push me back. Ignoring his shoves, I moved to follow him and felt my fingers inch closer to my machete and handgun.
"I bet I can nail it from here," Andrea said as she lowered the binoculars back to where she picked them up and raised the rifle up to aim at the lonely walker. I grabbed my machete and walked in front of the RV, looking out into the distance. I saw a figure limping, swaying and moving closer towards us.
"No no, Andrea. Put the gun down," I tell her, angered that she would risk all our lives for a single walker. Did she fucking forget that there was a herd out there and that with one single gunshot, they can all come back to us?!
"You'd best let us handle this," Shane spoke, his shirt was undone and he had a pickaxe in his hands. T-Dog followed closer to Shane and held a baseball bat in his hand. Dad lowered my machete and I looked at him confused.
"Shane, hold up. Hershel wants to deal with walkers," dad explained as he looked to all of us, nodding I agreed and slipped my machete into my holster. Hershel's farm, his rules and we have to respect it.
"What for, man? We got it covered," Shane questioned my dad, reasoning that they were fine with killing this single walker. Dad went to run back in, instead I grabbed his arm and passed him my gun. He accepted it and ran after them, following dad's lead, I went to the front and kept close to dad.
Running, we got closer and closer to the walker as it moved towards us. It's swaying body dragging something along with it, all of us ran towards it. Shane making weird noises as he limped his way across the field, while me and dad quickly ran down the field to get to it first.
What surprised me was when we slowed down, reaching the walker that kept making its way closer to us. It's eyes looked up at me. Crystal blue. His hair messy, body dirty, shirt torn apart and around his waist, his face bloody, his side injured and blood covered one knock he had in his head. He looked wild, animalistic and crazed.
When I saw him, my eyes widened and he looked at me. Dad had his gun raised up at Daryl, unsure if he was a walker or if Daryl was just...injured. Oh fuck...please tell me he's just injured and that he's more or less okay. That he isn't dead and now a turned walker.
"Is that Daryl?" Glenn asked, unsure of what we were to do and what exactly was before us.
"Y-yes," I tell them as I looked directly into the eyes of the man stood in front of me. He was pacing around, a necklace of...ears? Were around his neck. He looked like he had been through hell and back. His crossbow dragged along the floor as he looked to us, to dad angered.
"That's the third time you've pointed that thing at my head. You gonna pull the trigger or what?" Daryl growled as he asked my dad, who had now lowered the gun and made all the others relieved. Fuck. He's hurt...really bad then considering the state he's in. God damn.
There was a sudden gunshot and Daryl fell to the floor on his back. Gasping, I felt the air leave my lungs and turned around to Andrea who must have shot. "No! No!" I screamed as I dropped to my knees on the second 'no' to check and see if Daryl was alive.
"No!" dad screamed to Andrea as he dropped down on the other side of Daryl. Checking Daryl's pulse, breathing and his head, I saw he was only mildly scratched from the bullet that had been fired. Relaxing, I quickly got to my feet and pulled him up. Dad took the other arm of Daryl's draping his arms over our shoulders and carried him towards the farm.
"Rick! Kat!" I could hear mom's voice calling for us in the distance.
"What on earth's going on out here?" I heard Hershel call to us from the farm, he was stood beside mom and we kept walking with Daryl in our arms.
"I was kidding," Daryl mumbled, surprised he had actually been shot and his mind was probably spinning from the feeling. Or so I've been told from what I've read since dad got shot.
"Come on," dad encouraged as we kept walking, this was when I saw Andrea and Dale bolt across the field to us.
"Oh my God. Oh my God, is he dead?" Andrea asked me, panick stricken and stopped in front of us. We kept walking, my grip on Daryl tight and I glared at Andrea.
"Unconscious. You just grazed him. I told you not to shoot Andrea...yet you disobeyed me...disobeyed us," I growled at her, unhappy that she would do that and put all of us in danger. She almost killed Daryl for Christ's sake!
"But look at him. What the hell happened? He's wearing ears!" Glenn told us shocked and horrified by the fact Daryl had these around his neck. Daryl's head swung down as we dragged him back to the farmhouse.
"Let's keep that to ourselves," dad informed Glenn as he ripped the necklace off and slipped it into his shirt pocket. We continued to walk with a dazed Daryl being dragged, a hyperventilating Andrea from the close call she gave Daryl and Shane limping back the way we came.
"Guys, isn't this Sophia's?" I heard T-Dog call out to us, while we all turned to look at him and were surprised to see Sophia's doll in his hands. Daryl...found Sophia's doll. Thank God. He found evidence and he's still alive. I just wish he was perfectly fine.
We had been waiting for a good long while, I was pacing and mom was sat on the floor. "He'll be all right," dad said as he exited the room, Shane followed after him and mom got to her feet. He gave me a kiss on the forehead and mom a quick hug.
"I hate to say it, but I'm with Hershel on this one. Can't keep going out there, not after this," Shane told us as I looked to mom, who gave me a sad smile and rubbed my back comfortingly. There's something they're not telling me.
"You'd quit now? Daryl just risked his life to bring back the first hard evidence we've had," dad told Shane. He was about to leave when Shane had first spoke but ended up turning around to tell Shane this information.
"That is one way to look at it. The way I see it, Daryl almost died today for a doll," Shane said as I glared at him. Is he really telling us that he doesn't believe Sophia is out there, alive and well?! Are you fucking kidding me? He wants us to quit now?! What an asshole.
"Yeah, I know how you see it," dad said as he turned to walk off, the map in his hand and mom just pats his stomach. I waited for Hershel to exit and knocked on the door. Shane gave me a look but then placed his hand gently on the small of my back.
"Don't touch me Shane. You're not my father so don't act like you are," I growled at him. Shane quickly moved his hand away from my back and rubbed his head. Shane mumbling a soft sorry.
"I'm not out to be a hard case. Just being realistic," Shane said as he looked to me and mom. Mom shook her head and looked to the ground, making a laughing noise through her nose.
"Go away," I heard Daryl growl from the other side of the door to my knock. I frowned and tried again. Sighing as I stepped closer to the door.
"Daryl...it's me," I told him and this made him shuffle in the bed a little from what I could hear in through the other side of the door.
"Come in," Daryl told me which made me slowly open the door and step inside slowly, shutting the door slowly. Daryl had a head bandage around his crown and the covers were pulled up to hide his shirtless body. Could he be shy about his wounds? Or about his body like girls are?
"Oh my god...Daryl...I'm...I'm so sorry. I should have been there with you, that way you wouldn't have well...been alone through that all," I tell him sadly as I examined his body. My eyes wandering at him laying there in the bed, injured and a slight mess.
"Its better this way. That way all I had to look out for was myself," Daryl growled out at me. "Wouldn't be the first time," he mumbled to himself but I caught it. I won't question him, his issues is his issues. "That way I wouldn't have to worry 'bout saving your ass too," Daryl growled as he looked up at me. "Especially if I got back here without you...your dad would have my head on a silver plate and...it ain't your fault," he told me with kind eyes.
Why...is he so sweet and kind towards me? Towards some of us in this group? He's sort of like this with Carol. He saved T-Dog when he didn't have to and...he's out looking for Sophia when others believe she's dead.
"It was very...brave what you did today and well...I'm glad you're still alive. I would have felt terrible thinking that you were dead because of me. It's already terrible enough that I feel guilty for Sophia getting...never mind," I say and shake my head at my thoughts, trying to remove them with the movement of my head and looked down at him. His crystal eyes looking up at me and making me feel this...tingling sensation.
"Kat...what do you mean about Sophia?" Daryl asked me, his brows furrowed in thought and his eyes staring up at me. He needs to stop looking up at me like that. Like he really cares about what I think or how I feel. He's so...sweet and I respect him for that. As for those eyes...they need to stop looking like that because...I fear I might get a small shortage of breath.
"I...I don't want to talk about that but...I'm sorry you went through what you did," I tell him and looked away from his gaze. His eyes looked away and to the side. He pulled the covers up and turned his back on me. Sighing, I opened the door and left the room, shutting the door behind me and left the house.
DPOV
I had talked to Rick and Shane while Hershel fixed me up. "Go away," I growled when I heard my door being knocked. I could hear shuffling from the other side of the door.
"Daryl...it's me," a soft and sweet voice called to me. I recognized it instantly. Kat...quickly I pulled my covers over my chest and carefully laid onto my back, as so she couldn't see my scars. When I looked to the door, I took a deep breath and waited for a few seconds. Getting comfortable and making sure I didn't feel as much pain as I expected.
"Come in," I told her as I got comfortable and waited for her to enter. The door slowly opened, the squeaking of the door made me shut my eyes a little and gradually she stepped in. Her eyes roamed over my state as she shut the door behind her.
"Oh my god...Daryl...I'm...I'm so sorry. I should have been there with you, that way you wouldn't have well...been alone through that all," she spoke. Her eyes wandering around my body and examining the damage I had taken. Oh God...she probably thinks I look revolting...Merle was right. She wouldn't want me within miles of her.
"Its better this way. That way all I had to look out for was myself," I growled at her, more angry with myself than her. "Wouldn't be the first time," I mumbled to myself. "That way I wouldn't have to worry 'bout saving your ass too," I growled again at the thought of my past, my eyes looking up at her. "Especially if I got back here without you...your dad would have my head on a silver plate and...it ain't your fault," I told her.
She's not supermodel gorgeous but...she's prettier than your average girl. Rick doesn't like me here, no one does and everyone would prefer me dead. Even Kat. Kat's long brown curls were messy, in her pony tail and tumbling down her back. Her eyes were sad, her bright blues seemed to be hiding something and I didn't know if I wanted to ask her.
"It was very...brave what you did today and well...I'm glad you're still alive. I would have felt terrible thinking that you were dead because of me. It's already terrible enough that I feel guilty for Sophia getting...never mind," she said and shook her head and looked down at me. Her words left me wondering.
"Kat...what do you mean about Sophia?" I asked her gently, my brows knitting together in thought and I stared up at her questioningly. What about Sophia is bothering her so much? Why does she seem so...worried about me? Is this all an act to make a joke out of me?
"I...I don't want to talk about that but...I'm sorry you went through what you did," she told me and looked away from me. Slightly angered, I looked anywhere but at her. Pulling up the covers up and turning my back to her. Sighing, she opened the door and left the room, shutting the door behind her and left me alone. All these secrets and lies. Just plain stupid.
KPOV
Dinner was ready and we were all sitting around the table, Carol went to stand up to call mom to eat, I sat her back down and told her I would go. When I went to tell mom dinner was ready, I could hear soft crying, pressing my ear to the door and listening to my mom's voice. "Baby boy, what do I do?" I heard her whisper to Carl.
Deciding I wouldn't wait any longer, I knocked on the door and opened it, stepping inside mom tried to gather her thoughts. "Dinner's ready. You coming?" I asked her kindly which made her give me a tear-stained smile at me. Why is she crying? What is she keeping from me?
"Mm-hmm," she said as she got herself ready to leave, to eat. Carl was fast asleep beside her and she seemed so...lost.
"You need anything?" I asked her and I looked at her confused. She shook her head and gave me a small smile.
"Huh-uh, I'll be right there," mom said as she tried to make me leave. Instead I closed the door behind me and stepped further inside.
"Mom...you can't lie to me. No one can but...you know you can talk to me, right?" I asked her, keeping my eyes on hers and walked closer to her. She gave me a nod and a small smile. Her hands stretched out to rest on my shoulders as she stood to her two feet.
"I know and I'm grateful. Thank you baby girl...same thing goes to you. You can talk to me about anything," mom said with her warm and soft smile. The same smile she would always give me to tell me she was fine. "Come on. Let's eat," she said and turned me to walk to the door. Both of us headed down to eat and sat at the table, eating our meals silently.
"Does anybody know how to play guitar? Dale found a cool one. Somebody's got to know how to play," Glenn asked us as he turned to look to the 'adults' seeing as those of us who were younger than the others sat on a smaller and more rounded table. I was sat beside Maggie and Jimmy.
"Otis did," Patricia said sadly, her eyes on the meal and shyly looked up at those on the table. I really wish I was sat beside my parents...might of just taken my food and left to sit beside Carl as I ate. If I did that...it would be considered rude and I am not rude.
"Yes, and he was very good too," Hershel spoke which made me think about the times I played guitar. Mom used to love me playing guitar...and singing songs for her. Carl always loved me performing things for him and dad would ask me on occasion to sing something and play the guitar.
"Kat can play guitar too. She used to play for me when she was younger, she continued it and well...how long has it been?" dad asked me as he turned in his seat a little to look at me. A smile playing on his lips.
"A long time, not since you got shot at least," I tell him and looked to mom who smiled at me sadly, her eyes looking down then back to me. She's probably remembering the songs I played at those last few times. When dad was shot...I didn't want to play any songs anymore and I just felt...dull.
"Maybe you should play again one day," mom suggests sweetly and I give a small nod as I took a bite of the meat. We've all suffered from dad's apparent death...but he's alive and well. He's strong. I can see it.
"I know I wouldn't mind hearing," Glenn said to me with a small smile, I just shyly looked away and continued eating, hearing my dad's chuckles as I looked to him and saw Shane give me a small smile. Maggie and Glenn were soon passing notes around, blatant and making everyone look, listen and watch this interaction.
DPOV
"How are you feeling?" Carol asked as she walked in with a tray of food and drink in her hands. Pulling up the covers, I laid on my side and cuddled the pillow. Too many hours of sleep and nothing to do makes me bored as fuck.
"As good as I look," I answered, my voice rough from sleep and quieter from the sleep. Laying there, my mind wandering to my conversation with Kat for a second as it got silent behind me.
"I brought you some dinner," Carol said which made me quickly turn to look at her and move my body to look at the food that was on the plate. My interest and attention was on her now, she looked down at me shyly. "You must be starving," Carol said kindly. She's like...the mother I never had. Or can't seem to remember in this way at least.
"Watch out, I got stitches," I grumbled after Carol leaned over and gently pressed a kiss to my temple. Fiddling with the sheet as I didn't want to look at her and then glanced up at her to see her look at me with kind eyes.
"You need to know something," she said which made me look at her for a few seconds as she continued to speak. "You did more for my little girl today than her own daddy ever did in his whole life," she told me which made me turn my back on her again.
"I didn't do anything Rick, Kat or Shane wouldn't have done," I answer her grumpy. It's true. I'm only doing what others do and...it ain't anything special.
"I know. You're every bit as good as them," Carol told me, her voice soft and kind. "Every bit," she repeated and left me alone. My thoughts on the little girl that was lost in the woods, her kind mother and the blue-eyed brunette that had a lot of things going on that she didn't seem to talk about...
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