Chapter 13: Tense


RPOV

~15 years ago~

Kat and I were sat on the couch, we had just finished watching a scary movie. Kat hadn't let me go throughout the entire movie. She was afraid and I could see it from the wideness of her eyes, the tremble in her lip and the shiver down her spine. Her whimpering was the biggest give away be the end of the movie.

"Kat...baby girl..." I called her softly as she gripped onto me tightly, her hands drawled up my shirt into her fists. She crawled up to get onto my lap, the room was dark and her hair was slightly messy from her hiding her face into my chest. "It was only a movie baby girl..." I tell her sweetly.

"I-I'm still so scared daddy..." she tells me her voice trembling from her light crying. This made me heart sink and crumble at the thought of her being so scared as she was.

"Baby girl...it was only a movie and anyway...you have me to protect you. I'll always protect you. Now and forever," I tell her and she looked up at me, her blue eyes were red from tears and her face stained. I wiped at her tears gently.

"Promise?" she asked me and I nod. Kissing her cheek lightly, I cuddled her close to me and kept her tucked into my lap gently.

"I promise," I answered her and she sniffled, forgetting all about the film and being her normal self for the rest of the night. When Lori got back from work, Kat told her all about what we saw and how I would protect her from the monsters. This made Lori giggle, smile and look to both me and Kat. Kissing Kat on the forehead, she picked up our daughter and came to sit beside me. Planting a sweet kiss to my lips as we sat to watch another...happier movie...


Present day...RPOV

Looking down at the now dead walker Sophia, I lowered my gun and placed it in my holster. Kat hadn't moved, hadn't cried and hadn't looked when I shot Sophia. Carol left, sobbing and walked off towards the RV, staring at the dead Sophia I felt a lump grow in my throat and looked away. We then had to save Beth from trying to get close to her mother. Who wasn't dead and still growling.

"Don't ever touch my daughter like that again..." I growled at Shane as I looked at him, he may of hit her from the anger and rush of trying to open the door by accident but...I wasn't fine with him hurting my daughter. She's my baby girl. I'll protect her from everything and even from my best friend.

Walking past, I gently placed my hand on her shoulder. I kept moving and heard Shane walk to her, his face sad. "Kat...I-" Shane said as I turned to look at him, he reached out and tried to touch Kat, she just shrugged away from him and glared up at him.

"Save it. Don't touch me. You're a monster Shane. A monster. Next time you hurt me...I swear to you I'll chop your god damned hands off Shane. I swear it," she growled up at him, her tone vicious and her head hung low again. He frowned and gulped sadly, his eyes flickering up at me and then to Lori. His eyes landing on Kat as he took his gun and walked towards a retreating Hershel, angry.

"We've been out. Weve been combing these woods looking for her and she was in there all along? You knew!" Shane declared angrily as I followed after him, leaving my grieving family out there and my unmoving daughter there. Trying to pull Shane away from Hershel as they went towards the house.

"Leave us alone," Maggie spat at him angered that he was making such accusations. Shane's...changed. This isn't the man I knew. The man I called brother.

"Hey, Shane, just stop, man," I say trying to push him away from the family who were shocked and upset by what just happened. This isn't going to go well with Hershel...

"Get your hands off me," Shane growled at me as he shrugged his arm away from my grasp. This isn't Shane. He would never be aggressive towards anyone and...especially not Kat or to me. "You knew and you kept it from us," Shane said as he followed the family.

"I didn't know," Hershel told him without turning to look at Shane. Shane kept up and kept walking, I was watching him in case he would flip and so was Maggie. I won't let what happened to Kat happen to anyone else.

"That's bullshit. I think y'all knew," Shane spat at them, keeping this theory going and telling them things that were crazy. If they knew then...we would have stopped looking a long time ago!

"We didn't know!" Maggie repeated after her dad. They're telling the truth. I can feel it and I know it. They wouldn't be letting us out there searching for the little girl if they knew she was dead.

"Why was she there?!" Shane asked angered by the fact we found out that Sophia was in the barn all along. We don't know. I don't believe even the Greene family would know why she was and how. They believe those walkers we killed were people!

"Your-" Hershel went to say something but gave up and walked up the stairs. "Otis put those people in the barn. Maybe he found her and put her in there before he was killed," Hershel said while he turned around and looked down at me, Shane and Glenn.

"You expect me to believe that? Do I look like an idiot?" Shane asked Hershel, stepping closer and pacing on his feet. Changing the weight on them and looking nervous in some way. This isn't Shane.

"Shane, hey hey hey," I told him trying to calm him. Placing my hand on his chest and gently pushing him back. Trying to keep his head level but he was more hot-headed than rational.

"I don't care what you believe!" Hershel shouted at him, being pushed to the point of mad and irritated. We just murdered his family...all thanks to Shane's hot-headed attitude and anger.

"Everybody just calm down," I say when an argument began to rise again, Hershel and Shane shouting over each other as Shane got closer to Hershel. Shane's tone and body language were threatening.

"Get him off my land! Please," Hershel pleaded, angered and irritated with how Shane was threatening him. What the hell is going on?!

"No. Let me tell you something," Shane said as he stepped up, trying to shove the two apart and Shane just growled. Getting face to face with Hershel, his eyes glaring at the elder man and tone was vicious.

"Hey," Maggie said as she got towards the steps, to where her father was and got between the two. "Don't touch him!" she shouted at Shane as she slapped him square on the cheek and Glenn pushed the two away from each other. "Haven't you done enough?" she asked him angered and upset that he tried to threaten her father. Shane's glare now on the two of them, his jaw clamped and face dark.

"I mean it. Off my land," Hershel told us after he reached the top steps, looking down on us and then turned his back on us to head inside. Leaving me, Glenn and Shane outside on the bottom steps. Glenn looked at the two of us, a look of disapproval on his face and his eyes glued to Shane's angry ones.

"What are you doing? Hey, what are you doing?" I asked Shane when Glenn stepped inside and left me with Shane. He looked away and towards the barn. I hope he regrets all he did. All the pain he's just caused for everyone...

"Daryl almost died looking for her, Rick. Any one of us could have! Kat...she almost got raped out there looking for that little girl!" he said which made me wince. I knew it wasn't a good idea for her to go out there alone and...yes...she saved herself but...I'm her dad. I'm meant to protect her at all costs. "I'm gonna tell you right now...that son of a bitch, he knew," he said after he notice me flinch slightly. This made me shake my head at him.

"He didn't know. He's not like that. He opened his home to us," I told him, pointing to the house and squinting at him. Stunned that he would even consider that Hershel knew all about Sophia being in the barn. He said it multiple times...Otis would lead the walkers into the barn.

"He put us all in danger. Man, he kept a barn full of walkers," he told me. His feet shuffling closer to me and waddling as he kept moving his weight from one foot to the other. He has a point but...Hershel's view needs to be pointed out.

"So you just start an insurrection, hand out guns and massacre his family?" I asked him stunned he would say such things. The man just lost his family as far as he knows. We killed his family.

"His family's dead, Rick," Shane pointed out which made me glare at him. Our faces close enough to have an intense and angered argument. I just nod and pause for a moment before continuing to speak.

"Well, he doesn't believe that. He thinks you just murdered them in cold blood," I said pointing towards the house. Angered that he would say something like that and not consider the point of view Hershel has. The two of us getting closer to each other, threatening and tense.

"No, man, I don't care what he thinks," he told me as he got close to my face, his eyes looking directly into mine. Angered and uncaring. This isn't the Shane I know. The Shane I grew up with and the Shane I called my brother.

"I was handling it, brother. I was handling it and you just-" I was about to tell him, trying to remind him of the love we shared for each other. Like he was my blood. That was until he slept with Lori. Everything changed after that...after I got back and found out that him and my wife were together.

"You had us out in those woods looking for a little girl that every single one of us knew was dead! That's what you did. Rick, you're just as delusional as that guy," Shane said pointing towards me, then to the group and finally to Hershel's home. His eyes looking me up and down in anger and distrust. As though I had done the worst things in my life. Maybe I have... "You handling it, huh?" Shane asked me as he walked off, rubbing at his head and leaving me to my thoughts. What do I do now?...


KPOV

"I thought I'd find her," I could hear Carl say a few steps away from me. My head hung low and I kept my eyes on the floor. My hands grazing onto the dirt, my ass planted on the ground and my knees bent as I was in a straddle like position.

"We all did," mom said to him softly, she was possibly holding him by what I could hear and this made me frown. Shutting my eyes tightly, I held back the tears and didn't dare to move. In fear I would break down and let go of all my hope.

"I mean, me. That I'd be the one. Like maybe she was hiding somewhere in a cave or a tree. She'd be safe back. And I'd find her and bring he he did the right thing, shooting her like that. I would've done it, too," Carl explained and made my breath shiver. He's right. Dad did do the right thing and yet...he didn't. It should have been me to put her down but I wasn't strong enough.

"Dale?" I heard mom call out for the elder man and footsteps came closer to us. Some were more distant and others were slower. Don't move. Don't even look. Sophia is dead...all beacuse of you Kat. You froze when you had the chance to save Sophia and prevent this from ever happening.

"Yeah?" Dale answered as he got closer, his footsteps stopping and the sound of movement made me open my eyes, checking to see if anyone was getting close to me. Few feet moved past me and towards the walkers that were all laid out on the floor.

"Could you take Carl up to the house?" mom asked of Dale and this made him nod in response seeing as I didn't hear any answer out loud. "I want you to rest," mom said looking at Carl from her tone. She must be concerned about Carl after saying something so openly.

"Okay," Carl agreed, this was when I heard shuffling and then the sound of footsteps retreating towards the house. My head still hanging low and my body stiff from the lack of movement.

"Hey, you dropped that," I heard dad's voice say as he got closer to us. His footsteps sounding closer and slowing down.

"You want us to start burying?" T-Dog asked as he looked towards dad and the rest of us, I could see it from the corner of my eyes and didn't want to look up.

"We need a service. Carol would want that," Andrea spoke and I just stayed silent. I failed her...I failed Sophia. How many more people can I fail in this life?

"Yeah, we all want that," T-Dog admitted. We all want things and sometimes...its things that we can't have. Maybe Hershel won't permit us burying Sophia and will tell us he wants us off his land right now...

"Let's let's dig a grave for Sophia, and Annette and Shawn, uh, over by those trees...and we'll need a truck to move the bodies," mom said strongly but her voice was shaking slightly. I could feel her eyes look towards me from behind and dad's too. They're worried.

"I'll get the keys," Jimmy went to go and walk towards the house. He was then stopped but I didn't bother to look up and see who it was.

"No no. I got the truck," Shane said alerting me that it was him who stopped Jimmy and the one who was with dad walking towards us. He was now beside the others while my parents stood behind me and continued the conversation.

"And the others?" Jimmy asked unsure what to do with the other bodies. "That's a lot of digging," Jimmy commentated. It's the whole point about death in this world. More than half of us are dead now and...all we have now are bodies to be rolled into the mud...to decompose under the soil.

"We bury the ones we love and burn the rest," Andrea explained and I didn't look. Didn't feel. All I could feel was an overwheming sadness...not just for Sophia and her mother but...for the things that were to come.

"Let's get to work," mom said as he walked past me, her hand gently touching my shoulder and slipping her hands into her pockets as she walked to the bodies. Stopping when she notice everyone walk away and pulling dad away from the others. Talking quietly to themselves...


RPOV

"She still hasn't moved?" I asked Lori as I noticed Kat not move from where she sat on the ground. She seemed...distraught. Like she was holding back...like she was...numb. It scared me a little.

"No. She hasn't said a word since Shane tried to touch her. She just...God...Rick...I'm worried," Lori told me, whispering back and looking at me with worried eyes, her gaze flashing towards our daughter who hadn't moved an inch since she saw Sophia exit the barn.

"Me too," I answer. My baby girl...what is wrong? I wish I knew how to comfort you. How to help you through this time. All I know is we both must feel guilty for this death. She almost got raped in the process of searching and slapped in the face by Shane...

"Who know's what's going on in her mind right now..." Lori said worried, taking a hard swallow she looked away and turned to gaze into my eyes. "What did Hershel say?" she asked me changing the subject.

"He wants us off the farm, or Shane at least," I informed her trying to be as quiet as she was and moving as far away from Kat as possible. What a mess we made of it all...

"That's not a surprise. We're lucky someone wasn't killed. And all that gunfire More walkers could've heard it," she said as she looked around slightly disoriented from all that had happened. Making me think about the danger guns had in this world now. "Baby, what is it?" she asked me when she looked up to study my face.

"She was there all the time," I told her, pointing to the barn lazily and looking everywhere but in her eyes. I did this...I didn't save her as well as I could have. I did so many things wrong and...I don't know what's right anymore...

"And you did everything you could," Lori comforted me, trying to make it seem as though I couldn't do anymore than what I already had. Kat did more for Sophia than I ever could and she was out there every day while I was inside after trying to save Carl.

"Yeah, I know. I always do, don't I? Went after her, protected her, killed those walkers, but she still got bit. Carl still got shot and Kat almost got raped," I informed her while I kicked the dirt a little, my eyes glancing down and then up at her. Telling her the solid truth made he gulp a little, her face solid and expressionless. As though she was hiding her emotions from me this way.

"People counting on me and I had 'em chasing...a ghost in a forest...and now...Kat won't even move from that spot," I said, my voice shaking at the thought of everything that had happened these past couple of days and now...hours. Lori went to touch my face but I just moved away and walked off.


KPOV

I could hear small parts of the discussion mom and dad had. My eyes shutting at moments. Trying hard not to cry and let my guard down. "Hey..." I heard mom's voice as she got closer to me. "Kitten...I...look. I know you're upset about Sophia...we all are. You might be thinking that this is your fault but...you need to know it isn't your fault and it's no one's fault that-" mom went to comfort me, crouching down to look at me and I just shook my head.

"Mom...you don't know what I'm thinking. Please leave me alone," I asked her softly, dully and dryly. Never looking into her eyes or up to her face. My head still hung low. My throat was tight and there was a huge lump stuck in it. Would explain how I sound so...unlike myself.

"But-" mom tried to start again and this was when I looked up at her, my hair was probably a mess and my face might have been a little red from the hit I had received from Shane earlier. Mom's eyes were sad and slightly shocked that I had cut her off from continuing her sentence.

"No mom! You don't get it! I went out there every day, hoping to make things right for what I didn't do. God mom...you don't get it do you?! If that was Carl and I froze up like I did with Sophia...if...if I found him in that barn...I wouldn't be able to live with myself," I told her angered and saddened. My voice trembling a little at the thought of Carl being in the same position as Sophia.

"Baby-" mom went to touch my face gently. Quickly, like lightning I stood on my two feet and mom mirrored my movements. Stepping away from her as I looked at her, shaking my head vigorously in disagreement.

"No. Stop it mom. You don't get it. While Sophia tried to get away from that walker, I could have done something to save her and instead...I froze. I didn't do anything. It makes me think of what would happen if Carl was in her position. Would I freeze again?! Will it cost me his life...and...my own. Without Carl mom...I don't know what I'd do," I tell her, tears were building up in my eyes at the thought of losing Carl. He was what I fought for...he was my life and without him...I don't have much reason to live.

"Sophia's death is on me mom...it's on me," I tell her, letting a few tears fall and the pain in my heart drop further into my stomach. The pain I felt was overwhelming and I just needed time to myself. Mom looked at me sad, my pain reflecting in her eyes and I walked away. Finding a quiet and safe place to cry to myself. To let myself mourn Sophia properly and to wait for the funeral to start.


LPOV

After having my chat with Rick and Kat, I went to go check up on Carl. He was fast asleep and I left him to go look for the others. They were burying the bodies but had just finished wrapping the bodies up, placing them correctly and buried their resting places.

Heading towards the RV, I knocked on the opened door and stepped up to look at Daryl and Carol who were inside the RV. "They're ready," I inform them and Carol just shook her head at me, her bottom lip trembling. "Come on," I encouraged and Carol just stayed silent for a few seconds.

"Why?" Carol asked us dully, as though her life had been ripped out of her and she had no sense of hope left. I wouldn't blame her...she lost her daughter and found her dead...as a walker. I wouldn't know how I would be like if that was Kat or Carl...

"'Cause that's your little girl," Daryl informed her, as though she needed reminding and it was something she did need reminding of. Sophia is dead and it was something that happened...even if non of us wanted it to.

"That's not my little girl. That's some other...thing. My Sophia was alone in the woods. All this time I thought...she didn't cry herself to sleep. She didn't go hungry. She didn't try to find her way back," she said which made me frown. Kat feels to blame...maybe it was Carol's hope that made her push further...but finding Sophia like that is destroying all of us. Kat the most. "Sophia died a long time ago," Carol told us which made me think of how Ed had treated them both...


KPOV

The funeral service was sad, everyone was looking to one another and to the graves with serious or frowns. Dad and I were both with the same type of expression, serious but...numb. I looked as though I couldn't feel anymore by the way my mom held my hand and how she tried to comfort me. My eyes glued to the graves, to Sophia's grave and never looking away.

"Sweetie, can you hear me?" mom and I heard Maggie say as we walked into the house, hearing from Glenn about what happened to Beth. Maggie sat beside her sister, looking at Beth's pale and open-eyed face. Frozen.

"What's wrong with her?" I asked concerned for the young Greene daughter. She looked...terrible and it was worrying.

"She might be in shock," mom said and this reminded me of what happened earlier. The girl did lose her mother and brother...she was almost grabbed by her walker mom and eaten. Wouldn't surprise me the girl is in shock.

"Where's Hershel?" I asked, curious as to where the vet was. As to what he could be doing that was to be put before his daughter. It must be something pretty big because...my dad would never put anyone or anything before me and Carl...or mom.

"We can't find him anywhere," Glenn told us, he was leaning against the wall, by the corner of the room and looked at the two who were on the bed. His eyes glancing up to inform us of what he knew. This was when Shane, dad, mom, Maggie and Glenn walked into Hershel's room. I decided to stay inside with Beth, looking after her until Maggie and Patricia returned.

"Hey Kat...I'm sorry. I heard about what Shane did to you. That wasn't right," I heard Dale say as he slipped into the room, standing behind me and looking down at Beth who was in shock on the bed.

"It was an accident," I say to him, informing him of what he hadn't seen and what had actually happpened...even if Shane did hit me. Dale stood closer beside me and looked down at me.

"If you say so. I mean...he's...not right. Don't you think?" he asks me which makes me look away from Beth and up at him. Curious as to what he meant. Shane's changed...yes but...the way he says it makes me feel like...he knows things I don't...

"He's not right in a lot of things," I answer and look back down at Beth, checking her forehead for her temperature, she was burning up and I was gently washing her face with some cold water. Hoping that it would work and get her back to functioning.

"I don't mean by choices exactly but...how he shows them. I know he's changed. He's not the same man we all knew. He hurt you and...I think he killed Otis. Men like him...they end up killing someone else and...it won't stop until he gets what he wants," Dale explained which made me furrow my brows in thought. Wiping and dabbing the cloth against Beth's forehead to give her some coldness and colour back. Hopeful that the blood would rush back into her brain correctly.

"I didn't want to mention this but...a while ago when we were in the woods...your dad, Shane and I...I saw Shane lift his gun to your dad. Aiming it at him..." Dale informed me which made me look up at him surprised. My eyes wide and brows furrowed in shock horror. The sound of footsteps and angry discussions between Shane, mom and dad was going on.


LPOV

Checking in on Beth, I saw she still hadn't changed from when I had last seen her. Looking out the window, I saw that Rick and Glenn still hadn't made it back. "Her heart's racing. She's burning up. We need Hershel. He'll know what to do," Andrea told me as she walked up to me. Looking at her I nod and turned my back on her. About to head out but quickly I turned to her.

"Would you look in on Carl and Kat for me?" I ask her, worried about my children that were trying to cope with the loss of Sophia in their own and very different ways. I'm worried about them and...they need their father.

"Of course," Andrea agreed kindly and cuddled into her sweater some more. Her eyes looking at me as I walked out the door. Seeing something and hearing something that I hadn't in a long time. It gave me a sad...slow smile. One that tore at my heart-strings a little.


KPOV

"Hey..." I heard mom's soft voice call to me. Sat on the bench outside the house, I had the guitar on my lap and I was strumming softly. My eyes looking out towards the distance, to the sunset and my thoughts were blank but...a huge muddle. Words floating around in my head and things that happened...questions. The whole lot went in full circle in my mind and drove me slightly crazy.

"Hey..." I answered her back as I strummed. Needing to get the thoughts out of my head by strumming and keeping my mind cleared by focusing on the chords I was playing.

"Be alright by Lucy Rose?" mom asked me with a small smile on her face, her eyes shinning softly and her face glowing slightly. This is her favourite song...of course she would be like this and especially whenever I play it or sing it...or both. She loves this song just as much as she loves our family.

"Yeah..." I agreed quietly, playing the familiar chords over and over again. Remembering the song word by word, cord by chord and focusing on that. Mom walked closer and looked at me sadly but happily.

"Look I'm uh...going to have a little walk around the farm...get some fresh air for a while. Look in on Carl for me?" she asked me which made me want to roll my eyes at her. Did she really just ask me this question?

"I'll always take care of my baby brother mom. Always. You don't have to worry about that," I tell her as I looked up at her and she gave me a small smile, her head nodding.

"I know...and I don't worry about it..." she informs me and walks towards me. She presses a soft kiss to the top of my head and pulls me into a hug. "I love you," she whispers into my hair, it was up in a messy pony tail and she held me to her tightly.

"Love you too," I tell her as I gently wrapped an arm around her. Knowing this was our version of saying sorry to each other, that we forgave and that we understood each other. She only wants me happy and safe. Comforts me when I need it most. Pulling away, she walked down the stairs and towards the distance. After a few moments deliberation, I went inside and played a board game with Carl.


DPOV

I was sitting down angered and trying to relax by sharpening my knife, grazing it to cut the tip of a wooden stick. "Moving to the suburbs?" Lori's voice teased as I heard her footsteps get closer to me. "Listen, Beth's in some kind of catatonic shock. We need Hershel," Lori informs me as she got closer and stopped to crouch down beside me.

"Yeah. So what?" I asked her unamused and not bothered by this new fact I have now learnt. Beth means nothing to me. Just like Hershel means nothing to me. The man may have fixed me up with some bandages and stitches but...that don't mean shit to me.

"So I need you to run into town real quick and bring him and Rick back," Lori informed me as she asked me this favour. Not my problem. Rick went after that old man...well...fuck him and I hope he enjoys the town. "Daryl?" Lori called for my attention when she realized I wasn't listening and continued with my sharpening of my knife.

"Your bitch went window-shopping. You want him? Go fetch him yourself," I told her as I looked up at her, looking directly into her hazel eyes. They're not like Kats but...they're doe like and her face is the same shade as Kats...but Lori is no Kat. "I got better things to do," I tell her as I looked away and continued to work on my knife.

"What's the matter with you? Don't you be so selfish," she growled at me angered that I would reject her like that. Selfish? Did she really pull that card on me?! I ain't fucking selfish! Not like this whiny bitch is!

"Selfish? Listen to me, Olive Oyl. I was out there looking for that little girl every single day. I took a bullet and an arrow in the process," I said pausing as I stood up and she stood up too. She looked slightly saddened by this fact, her face wincing when she knew I was telling her the solid truth.

Not to mention your own daughter went out there every day too, even when she was almost raped and saved herself from those attackers! It ain't my fault you don't know how to protect and keep track of your own! Seems like no one else can stand going out there except me and Kat! Rick goes out for stupid shit like this fucking farmer!

"Don't you tell me about me getting my hands dirty! You want those two idiots? Have a nice ride. I'm done looking for people," I growled at her as I took my seat and continued with my knife. I was exhausted. From all the searching, all the hope I had and the fact there were so many secrets that I had no clue about.


RPOV

"Hershel," I called out to him, he was sat on the bar stool and drinking down the strong stuff. He seemed...shocked in his own way and it made me sad. Is this what it really came to? Didn't he say his father was a drunk?

"Who's with you?" he asked as he possibly noted that there was another pair of footsteps that accompanied mine. Glenn seems more nervous than pleased to see Hershel is still alive...

"Glenn," I answered him honestly. Why would he want to know? Is this about the possibility of it being Shane? Because...Shane wouldn't go after him like I would...like Glenn would.

"Maggie sent him?" Hershel asked me, I looked to Glenn as we edged closer and walked as slowly as to not startle Hershel or anger him further. There was a smile in Hershel's voice, as though he was positive he knew it was the right reason as to why Glenn was here.

"He volunteered. He's good like that," I informed Hershel of exactly who and what Glenn was like. Glenn has done more for me and for my family. Without me even realizing it at times..."How many have you had?" I asked Hershel as I walked closer to him, stopping to stand beside him and Glenn slowed down to keep a distance between us.

"Not enough," Hershel said as he looked down at his drink. He was swaying a little, his breath and entire body smelt of the drink he was currently drinking. How could he do something like this? He's putting himself at risk! Especially when his daughters need him most right now!

"Let's finish this up back at home. Beth collapsed, is in some sort of state. Must be in shock...I think you are too," I tell him, trying to reason and make him see sense that his daughters needed him there with them. Hershel kept looking me in the eyes, his gaze wavering off to the side sometimes.

"Maggie's with her?" he asked me with raised eyebrows. This made me tilt the head to the side a little but then look at him a little unsure what exactly he was thinking and asking me about.

"Yeah, but Beth needs you," I tell him and he just looks away, cradling the drink in his hands. He never looked more low than he did right now in the amount of time I knew him. He always seems so strong...a man of wisdom and...this is what becomes of him?

"What could I do? She needs her mother. Or rather to mourn like she should've done weeks ago. I robbed her of that. I see that now," Hershel tells us, looking off into the distance and to his cup. I would look at him and the bar. Glenn was looking around, listening for anyone who was intruding and for walkers. Hershel took a long sip of his drink.

"You thought there was a cure. Can't blame yourself for holding out for hope," I said, a small smile forming on my lips when I thought of someone who would approve of what I just said. I'm starting to sound like Kat...like myself when I would talk to her when she was a child...

"Hope? When I first saw you running across my field with your boy in your arms, I had little hope he would survive," Hershel said as a smile lit up his face. Like I had given him something to smile about but...this smile was off as it didn't make the crinkle around his eyes form. It made it seem...sarcastic in a small way...

"But he did," I inform Hershel, reminding him that my son survived not just by luck or a miracle...but because of Hershel and all the other's help. God...that time was horrible. Kat was so sad about not being beside Carl during that time...she did what she needed to do...to 'right her wrong'...and it makes me proud of her. No matter the outcome.

"He did. Even though we lost Otis. Your man Shane made it back and we saved your boy. That was the miracle that proved to me miracles do exist. Only it was a sham, a bait and switch. I was a fool, Rick, and you people saw that. My daughters deserve better than that," Hershel said saddened after such happiness he had on his face. When he finished what he said, he took a long gulp of his drink and filled it up with some more. He feels like hope is lost...isn't he a man of God? Where is his faith?

"So what do we do? Just wait for him to pass out?" Glenn asked me when he got startled, thinking that there was a walker roaming around but instead it was just the passing of leaves with the wind. The both of us by the doors, waiting to see if Hershel would change his mind.

"Just go. Just go!" Hershel shouted out at us, his voice slightly slurred as I turned and looked at him. He seemed lost, unsure of what to do with himself and Glenn was getting worried about walkers roaming around. About our safety.

"I promised Maggie I'd bring you home safe," I told him as took a few steps closer to him, looking at him in the distance, I could see he still shook a little and was getting a little more than tipsy. After he heard this, he gave a small sarcastic chuckle.

"Like you promised that little girl?" he questioned me, causing my body to tense and my jaw to clench. Did he really just say that? How not to mention that I failed that little girl...that I didn't save her or find her when I could...that...was a low blow.

"So what's your plan? Finish that bottle? Drink yourself to death and leave your girls alone?" I growled as I took a few more steps closer. My anger was growing and I was getting impatient with how rude Hershel had become. Drunk Hershel is being an asshole. I needed to hit him where I knew it would hurt.

"Stop telling me how to care for my family, my farm. You people are like a plague! I do the Christian thing, give you shelter, and you destroy it all!" Hershel shouted as he finally stood up and away from the bar counter, his face angered and his body prepared to argue and possibly fight.

"The world was already in bad shape when we met," I informed him as I took a few steps closer, trying to get him to tell me everything he needed to say out loud and in the open. His face got more angered as I got closer, looking him directly into his eyes.

"And you take no responsibility! You're supposed to be their leader!" he shouted at me, I could feel Glenn's eyes watching us and how Hershel's body shook with every word he said. Hershel is angered and betrayed by what happened. He's ashamed but it has no need to take it out on me and to not be there for his daughters in this time of suffering...of grief...

"Well, I'm here now, aren't I?" I asked him, my voice as loud and angered as I could get it. Fed up with how Hershel was treating us in this alcohol fueled state. If this was even a fraction of how his father was like...I don't want to know how he could be fine reflecting a man he didn't love.

"Yes. Yes. Yes, you are," Hershel said, accepting what I said and nodding slowly. He walked away and turned his back on us, Glenn had walked closer, possibly unsure if there would be a fight or not. Hershel sat back down and continued to drink.

"Now come on. Your girls need you now more than ever," I tried to reason, feeling guilty about the outburst we both had and trying to convince him that it was time to return home. To our families. To our loved ones. I went to grab his arm, to lift him off the stool and he just moved his arm away from me and looked into my eyes.

"I didn't want to believe you. You told me there was no cure, that these people were dead, not sick. I chose not to believe that...but when Shane shot Lou in the chest and she just kept coming, that's when I knew what an ass I'd been," Hershel said looking me directly in the eye. It was too much to take in and it seemed to sadden me. He had hope but...not every sense of hope is the same as others.

"That Annette had been dead long ago and I was feeding a rotten corpse! That's when I knew there was no hope...and when that little girl came out of the barn, the look on your face...the look on your daughter's face...I knew you both knew it too. Right? There is no hope...and you know it now, like I do. Don't you? There is no hope for any of us," Hershel said directly to me, this made me look away and him to turn back to his drink, looking at Glenn we exchanged a glance. What would Kat say? What would she do if she was here?

"Look, I'm done. I'm not doing this anymore, cleaning up after you. You know what the truth is? Nothing has changed. Death is death. It's always been there, whether it's from a heart attack, cancer, or a walker. What's the difference? You didn't think it was hopeless before, did you?" I asked him, telling him exactly what I thought and what I knew Kat would be proud of.

"Now there are people back at home trying to hang on. They need us, even if it's just to give them a reason to go on, even if we don't believe it ourselves. You know what? This- this isn't about what we believe anymore. It's about them," I tell him, rubbing at my face and looking away from Hershel when I said about believing in what we said...I need to believe...not just for me and my family but...I owe it to Kat.

Just as I saw Hershel's expression slowly change, I saw it change from sadness, to understanding and finally to agreement. He was determined, he finished his last sip and spun the glass to say he was done. "Son of a bitch. They're alive," a rough voice from a man said as Hershel got to his feet and at the same time the door opened. Two men stepping inside side by side. "I'm Dave. That scrawny-looking douche bag there is Tony," the slimmer one of the two said as they sat down and I poured them a drink.

"Eat me, Dave," the fatter one who is called Tony said as he laughed at Dave. They seemed to not be from around here, judging by their accents and the way they showed themselves to be like.

"Hey, maybe someday I will," Dave joked seriously. "We met on I-95 coming out of Philly. Damn shit-show that was," Dave said as I grabbed two other glasses and placed them on the bar, to fill them for both me and Glenn.

"I'm Glenn. It's nice to meet some new people," Glenn said kindly, his voice was happy and pleased to meet these strangers. I don't know...I won't judge them too quickly but...if they say anything I don't like or do anything...I won't hesitate. I have a family and group to protect.

"Rick Grimes," I tell them formally, ensuring they would know exactly who I was. I may be telling the truth but...they'll never know. I say as I passed Tony his drink. He took it without a thank you...to be honest...neither of them thanked me...

"How about you, pal? Have one?" Dave asked Hershel as he pointed to him, a cheesy smile was plastered on Dave's face and this made me look between the two.

"I just quit," Hershel informed them. I had to restrain myself from laughing or rolling my eyes. Literally...just quit. If only they knew he had almost all of the bottle that we were sharing now...I think they would know that Hershel was in fact telling the truth.

"You've got a unique sense of timing, my friend," Dave said with a cheeky grin on his lips. He seems like a good enough person but...not everything meets the eye...and I won't hesitate. I won't hesitate.

"His name's Hershel. He lost people today, a lot of them," I inform them, nodding and taking a small sip of the drink I had poured into my glass. The slight burn was oddly soothing but it helped calm my nerves a little. Gulping it down, I looked at them and saw Dave's face drop in sadness.

"I'm truly sorry to hear that. To better days and new friends...and to our dead may they be in a better place. Ah. Ah. Not bad, huh? I got it off a cop," Dave said as he raised his glass and tapped it once to the table, taking his shot and shaking his head. Taking my own shot, I never kept my eyes off of him and drank a small amount. He pulled out his gun when I noticed it, my heart pounding lightly but a little louder than before.

"I'm a cop," I inform him, telling them that I wasn't someone to mess with and that if they were going to joke about cops...then...they had better watch their mouths. I worked hard for my job and I worked it as well as I could. No matter the situation I was in. I took a shot for that job and...it cost me the love of my wife.

"This one was already dead," Dave said with a small chuckle, Tony gave me a long and hard look, he was lazily sitting on the stool and watching me. I don't like how Tony is looking at me and...they seem so...off...what is wrong with these two...what are they hiding?

"You fellas are a long way from Philadelphia," I pointed out as I went to take another sip of my drink. Stopping when I saw Dave nod and replying to me.

"It feels like we're a long way from anywhere," Dave informed me which made me look at them slightly interested by why they would be here and if they were telling me the truth or a lie.

"Well, what drove you South?" I ask them curious as to what answer they'd give me. God knows what these guys are up to but...something tells me that they're keeping things from me and that they don't exactly like us. That this is all a huge show.

"Well, I can tell you it wasn't the weather. I must've dropped 30 pounds, in sweat alone down here," Dave said as he wiped the sweat from his eyes, he did look still a little chubby but from the look of him...he seemed honest enough.

"I wish," Tony teased which made a small smile appear on my lips. Well...you're certainly bigger than other people I've met Tony...but still...maybe they aren't so bad...but...I won't trust them completely.

"No, first it was D.C. I heard there might be some kind of refugee camp, but the roads were so jammed, we never even got close. We decided to get off the highways, into the sticks, keep hauling ass. Every group we came across had a new rumor about a way out of this thing," Dave told us, his eyes roaming to each of our faces and stopping to look down.

"One guy told us there was the coast guard sitting in the Gulf, sending ferries to the islands," Tony informed us which made me look to him, my head whipping to look at him as Hershel would slowly edge closer to me and look between the two new strangers.

"The latest was a rail yard in Montgomery running trains to the middle of the country- Kansas, Nebraska," Dave told us which made me ponder as to how many possible safe locations there were that...somehow could have got over run or possibly never even existed in the first place.

"Nebraska?" Glenn asked, sounding surprised that such a place could have somewhere safe for people to survive. We all want survival. It's as if Glenn never knew that there were others that are smart enough to try and find some sort of shelter from these things.

"Low population, lots of guns," Tony said as we looked at him. He always seems so...lazy...so...carefree. There's something...off about this guy...about the two of them.

"Kinda makes sense," Glenn said, nodding in agreement as I looked at him over my shoulder and cradled my drink in my glass.

"Ever been to Nebraska, kid?" Dave asked Glenn. "A reason they call 'em flyover states," Dave teased which made Tony laugh a wheezy like laugh. "How about you guys?" Dave asked as he looked at me and Hershel.

"Fort Benning, eventually," I tell them, sticking to an obvious route to us and one that could possibly be functioning.

"I hate to piss in your corn flakes, officer, but...we ran across a grunt who was stationed at Benning. He said the place was overrun by lamebrains," Dave informed us as I took in this information and lowered my head in slight frustration...please tell me they're lying or joking...why is there nowhere to call safe?!

"Wait, fort Benning is gone? Are you for real?" Glenn asked slightly shocked and surprised by this new found information. I just hope they're lying. I can't say that it was a wrong choice again...how am I going to tell Shane without him thinking I'm lying?

"Sadly, I am. Oddly, the truth is there is no way out of this mess. Just keep going from one pipe dream to the next, praying one of these mindless freaks - doesn't grab a hold of you when you sleep," Dave told us sadly, his expression remorseful and...tired in some way.

"If you sleep," Tony added, gaining a small nod from both Glenn and Hershel. My eyes glued on the both of them as I looked between Tony and Dave. Curious as to whether or not they were telling me the truth.

"Yeah, it doesn't look like you guys are hanging your hats here. You holed up somewhere else?" Dave asked us as he looked around the bar. He wants to know where the others are...as to how many we are and where exactly we hide...where we are protected.

"Not really," I tell them when I finally realize their game. No way in hell are they getting information on where we are or anything else. They can't be trusted...not when we know close to nothing about them.

"Those your cars out front?" Dave asked as he pointed towards the entrance of the bar. His eyes glued to the three of us as though not to be suspicious as to where he was leading these questions to.

"Yeah. Why?" Glenn answered before I could, clenching my jaw shut, I looked to Glenn and gave him a slight glare. I don't like where these questions are going. We don't know anything about them and we're giving them all our information. This doesn't seem right at all.

"We're living in ours. Those look kinda empty, clean. Where's all your gear?" Dave asked us, possibly unsure as to why we didn't have all of our equipment there and not be like them...and possibly every other survivor out there in this new world.

"We're with a larger group out scouting, thought we could use a drink," Hershel said which made me look at him slightly stunned. Hershel! You just fucked up in the worst way possible!

"A drink? Hershel, I thought you quit!" Dave said with a smile, catching what Hershel said a little earlier. I told you! They're up to something and I don't like the feeling..."Well, we're thinking of setting up around here. Is it is it safe?" Dave asked as he looked towards us, his eyes landing on Glenn.

"It can be, although I have killed a couple of walkers around here," Glenn answered honestly. Clenching my jaw, I fiddled a little with the now empty glass in my hands. My nerves were creeping up again with all these questions being asked about us.

"Walkers? That what you call them?" Dave asked slightly amused by our referral to those creatures outside which weren't human anymore. Something is wrong...really wrong.

"Yeah," Glenn answered with a small laugh. Dave gave a nod of approval as he looked to the floor. Really wrong...what is going on here?

"That's good. I like that. I like that better than lamebrains," Dave said as he looked down and scratched behind his neck. My eyes drifting towards the two who had intruded our get up and go moment earlier.

"More succinct," Tony said using fancy words for someone with his appearance. No judging just...I don't like the vibe I get from Tony and the way he looks at us...it worries me a little and the way Dave is wriggling his way into answers is starting to infuriate me...

"Okay, Tony went to college," Dave pointed out which made me want to roll my eyes. I couldn't care less if Tony went to college or if he went to hell. Right now...we're nothing like our past lives. This world is about survival and about searching for that way to get back to how we were.

"Two years," Tony told us as he looked between me, Hershel and Glenn. Still couldn't care less. What difference does anything make now in this walker infested world?

"So what, so what, you guys set up on the outskirts or something? That new development?" Dave tried to push further with his questions, trying to get a more specific place and possibly to get to wherever our people were.

"Trailer park or something?" Tony asked as he got up from his seat and walked towards a wall. "A farm?" he asked which made my body tense...this isn't right...at all...how could they know?

"Old McDonald had a farm..." Dave sang as he looked to see Tony stop at the wall and unzip his pants. "You got a farm?" Dave asked us as I looked between the rest of them. They know...they know we live on a farm...

"E-i-e-i-o," Tony continued lazily as he rested his arm against the wall and pissed on the ground. My eyebrow raised at how public this place was and how rude it was. Seems to me the world really has gone to shit...quite litterally.

"Is it safe? It's gotta be. You got food, water?" Dave asked as he leaned closer to look directly at us, as though he was close to digging a new found treasure. No way am I telling them where my family are...

"You got cooze? Ain't had a piece of ass in weeks," Tony said which made my nostrils flare a little. This is really wrong...no way in hell am I letting this man anywhere near my wife or daughter...wait...

"Listen, pardon my friend. City kids they got no tact. No disrespect. So listen, Glenn-" Dave said in respect of his companion, he went to ask the most honest and kind one in our group for more answers. He knows me or Hershel won't answer him...especially not after what Tony just said.

"We've said enough," I tell him after I gave Glenn a look to say not to answer anything anymore. It must have been something in my eyes because Glenn pursed his lips and looked away. Dave looked at me a little stunned.

"Well, hang on a second. This farm it sounds pretty sweet. Don't it sound sweet, Tony?" Dave asked Tony who had finally finished his business and looked towards us. Walking to stand beside Dave and held his gun in his hand.

"Yeah, real sweet," Tony agreed. I don't like this...not at all...

"How about a little Southern hospitality? We got some buddies back at camp, been having a real hard time. I don't see why you can't make room for a few more. We can pool our resources, our manpower," Dave tried to negotiate but we were having non of it. I don't like the way they refered to women, especially not after what my daughter almost went through.

"Look, I'm sorry. That's not an option," I tell them, the two of them exchanged glances and Dave gave me a surprised and slightly incredulous look.

"Doesn't sound like it'd be a problem," Dave tried to reason again but we were having non of it. I won't hesitate and I don't trust them. We know nothing about these people and they know too much about us already.

"I'm sorry. We can't," Hershel told them politely.

"We can't take in any more," I agreed with him, trying to point out that no matter how much they'd try it wouldn't and couldn't work.

"You guys are something else. I thought...I thought we were friends. We got people we gotta look out for too," Dave told us as he gave a nervous laugh and looked away. When he looked up he seemed honest on the most part but...I didn't trust him.

"We don't know anything about you," I tell them and Dave looks at me sadly. He plays a good role of the level-headed liar.

"No, that's true. You don't know anything about us. You don't know what we've had to go through out there, the things we've had to do. I bet you've had to do some of those same things yourself. Am I right? 'Cause ain't nobody's hands clean in what's left of this world. We're all the same. So come on, let's let's take a nice friendly hayride to this farm and we'll get to know each other," he told us sadly during the beginning and then happily towards the end.

"That's not gonna happen," I stay true to my thoughts and gut feeling. I don't trust they're telling me the full truth. I don't like the way they present themselves and how they refer to women...like some...sacks of meat to play with...

"Rick this is bullshit," Tony said angered and exasperated. Not pleased to my disapproval. Well fuck you...you dirty pig. Wanting women just for sex. Fuck you if you think I'm letting you anywhere near my family and anywhere near my group on the farm.

"Calm down," I growled at him, unhappy with his attitude and not calm like outburst when I denied him the joy of joining us at the farm.

"Don't tell me to calm down! Don't ever tell me to calm down! I'll shoot you three assholes in the head and take your damn farm!" Tony threatened outraged by my authority to tell him to calm down. My police, protector and fatherly instincts came in as I stood up to face Tony and do whatever I had to do in order to protect the ones I loved.

"Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! Relax. Take it easy. Nobody's killing anybody. Nobody's shooting anybody. Right, Rick?" Dave said as he pat my chest, calming us both down and jumping over the bar. My hand instinctively went to my gun, as did Tony's to his own gun. "Look," Dave said as he pulled out his gun.

"We're just friends having a drink. That's all," Dave told us as he placed the gun on the tabletop. "Now where's the good stuff, huh? Good stuff, good stuff, good stuff. Let's see," Dave said as he bent over to grab something. My hand rapidly went to my gun, knowing that some bars kept guns under the desk and that he had one not far from his hand.

"Hey, look at that. That'll work. You gotta understand we can't stay out there. You know what it's like," Dave said as he pulled up a bottle of whisky, showing it me and slowly making me move my hand away from my gun. Away from my holster.

"Yeah, I do...but the farm is too crowded as is. I'm sorry. You'll have to keep looking," I tried to apologize as nicely as I could, telling them things as how it had to be. This made Dave shake his head as he filled the glass with whisky.

"Keep looking. Where do you suggest we do that?" Dave asked as he looked up at me, wanting some answers and possibly ones that he knew were what he wanted to hear. Ones that would appease him.

"I don't know. I hear Nebraska's nice," I say trying to encourage them to get as far away from Georgia as they could. As far away from us and to not cause any of us any harm.

"Nebraska. This guy," Dave laughed and in lightning speed, I saw him reach for his gun and shot him quickly in the head. Turning around quickly, I shot Tony before he could shoot me directly in the shoulder. Then in the pelvis. My lips twitching and eyes locked on Tony. Stepping up to him, I shot Tony once more in the head and let his body drop to the floor. Hershel and Glenn stood at either side of me as I slipped my gun back into my holster.


Hey guys! Alright...so...Kat isn't talking too much in this chapter but...I think it was important to show how there is struggle for all the family. How they all truly care and how they would do anything for each other no matter the situation. Now...there are possible...other character POV's in later chapter. NO SPOILERS! But...I will be using NPOV so that we can see things that...other characters may not! So...watch out for that!

5 reviews for this chapter please! Tell me what you thought and if you liked it! What would you like to see? Now...time to answer some reviews!


Liaskane: Well...yeah...Shane hit her more or less by accident...but still yeah...he was a dick. As for Daryl...he kind of already knows but...his reaction won't be so big because well...he doesn't love her just yet...


redangel2463: Yeah...Shane is a little bit of a jerk in my story. Erm...I don't know...Kat isn't the type of character to snap on others. She's more of a...holds in emotions until it gets too overwhelming and then HAS to let go. Especially to those she trusts and can talk to about it without feeling too emotional about it. So...not sure. I will though...let her have a snap at someone...not telling you who!


Caity6991: Love you too! I knew it was you! Don't worry! Yes...Kat is a very selfless character. She's just like that...and I enjoy playing her out like that. Makes her seem more humane than others but...she'll have her moments believe me. This was one of them where she loses hope. She's the one that keeps the hope alive, that tries to keep going and never look negatively at things but...she is human. She gets hurt and this is sadly...one of those moments.


Much love!

HeroJustInTime90 x