I would like to apologize to all those who voted for Aayla and Bly. I was intending to post it next, since Aayla and Bly outdid Wolffe and Plo Koon by one vote, but I've not been able to come up with a really good story yet. And so, presuming that you'd rather have an update regardless (after this long!), I'm putting up the Wolffe and Plo Koon story. I hope you guys like it, and I'll continue working at Aayla and Bly's! :)
Cody glanced across the large room, located a lone droid, and shot it. He reloaded his gun, shot another droid, wondered if Wolffe was just as bored as he was, and strolled after General Kenobi.
A group of four battle droids clanked into the room from a corridor behind Obi-Wan, and Cody considered shooting them. He decided to conserve his ammo instead. The general had it handled.
As a matter of fact, he very much suspected that Obi-Wan not only had it handled, but was taking the opportunity to practice a number of fancy and completely unnecessary lightsaber moves. Cody watched as the Jedi Master spun, twirled, and leaped across the room, ending in a flashing kata before decapitating a single droid that stood in front of him.
He didn't appear to notice the other four droids.
"Kill the Jedi!" honked the lead battle droid, aiming its gun.
Cody spared it a casual look.
Obi-Wan performed a backflip, missing the ceiling by mere inches, and landed behind the four droids. Swinging his lightsaber in a series of dizzying, flashy motions, he tossed it, caught it behind his back, sidestepped three lasers, blocked the fourth – and then used the Force to blast all the droids into the wall.
Cody raised a judgmental eyebrow. So – what exactly had the whole buildup with the lightsaber been for?
"Are we done here, General?"
"I suppose." Obi-Wan, despite all the running around he'd been doing, hadn't even broken a sweat. "Where are Wolffe and Plo Koon?"
Cody tapped the side of his helmet. "Wolffe, how you doing?"
"Two kills," sighed his fellow commander. "General Plo is – showing off."
The deep, rumbling voice of the Kel Dor general cut in, sounding rather guilty. "I am doing no such thing, Commander."
"We'll meet you at your end," Cody decided.
Obi-Wan brushed fastidiously at his tunic, removing bits of dust and metal. "We finished before Master Plo, I take it."
Cody took point and decided not to say that, had Obi-Wan decided to fight in his usual efficient manner, they could have finished about five minutes earlier. "Yes, sir."
"Excellent. All that remains is to destroy the outpost, then."
Cody pressed the door control and peered into the next room.
Wolffe was slouched against the wall, one pistol half-raised as he watched General Koon leaping about amidst a group of a dozen droids. He looked slowly over at Cody and shrugged, as though to say, "What can I do?"
Cody joined him, leaving General Kenobi to join in the – well, he couldn't really call it a battle. . . He frowned, gesturing at Plo Koon. "Did he just miss that droid on purpose?"
"Oh, yeah. Again." Wolffe aimed carefully and shot past his general between one swing of the lightsaber and the next. The droid toppled over, and Plo Koon stared at it in what might have been disappointment. It was hard to be sure with the mask, but the slouched shoulders were a pretty universal giveaway.
Over the next three minutes, the Jedi wasted their time fooling around with overly fancy moves and blocks. Cody took the opportunity to catch up with Wolffe on various bits of GAR gossip and news. Stone and Thire had gone on a joint mission with Wolfpack recently. Apparently Fox had broken protocol and mouthed off to a senator before stunning him. During a mission.
Cody experienced a brief moment of disbelief. "Was Stone sure?"
"He swore up and down that he'd been standing right there," Wolffe said, stepping back to let a decapitated droid sail past him. "I asked Fox about it, but he told me it was classified."
Cody snorted – Fox had a habit of classifying things that he didn't want his fellow commanders to know – and checked his chronometer. "We're still well within the time parameters," he commented. "We've got another three hours before pickup."
The commanders watched in disbelieving silence as Obi-Wan and Plo Koon teamed up on the last, helpless B1. Plo Koon soared over its head, landing behind it and whirling about while Obi-Wan kept the droid busy by carefully deflecting each of its laser shots into one of the surrounding computer terminals.
Cody counted them down in his head. Four . . . three . . . two . . . one.
The last terminal screen flickered out, and General Kenobi pirouetted, bouncing the next laser shot to Plo, who deflected it back.
Wolffe sighed and pulled out his datapad. Even though Wolffe's helmet was the same blank mask it had always been, Cody could tell that he was rolling his eyes. To be fair, even a non-clone would have known.
Presumably, that was Wolffe's point.
Not that either of the Jedi seemed to notice.
Cody watched over Wolffe's shoulder as the 104th's commander spent a few moments authorizing a requisition form for grenades.
That completed, Wolffe put away his datapad. The two commanders looked up in time to see General Kenobi miss the laser as it came back toward him for the eighth time.
The droid had been standing motionless, with the exception of its swiveling head, and now raised its gun again. "Surrender, Republic dogs!"
The two generals lunged forward, one from each side, the tips of their lightsabers nearly brushing each other as they sliced the droid in half.
Cody had known from the beginning that certain Jedi – Anakin and Ahsoka, for example – were inclined to behave as though skirmishes were simply opportunities to test their abilities. He should probably have realized that Anakin had inherited his talent for treating danger in a cavalier fashion from someone.
He glared pointedly at that someone, who had just deactivated his lightsaber and who, as usual, remained blissfully and deliberately ignorant of his commander's temporary sour mood.
"General," said Wolffe, not bothering to disguise the impatience in his tone. "Are you finished, sir?"
"I believe so," the Kel Dor replied, turning to his fellow Council Member. "Master Kenobi, your deflection skills have increased since our last attempt."
"I've been practicing," Obi-Wan replied. "What did I make it to last time? Five?"
"Yes, it was five."
Cody stared thoughtfully at General Kenobi. He might have to do a little snooping around when he got back to find out where, how, and with whom the general had been practicing. Probably General Skywalker. Treating lasers like bolo-balls. Honestly.
"Generals," he said. "We should probably set the explosives now."
"Yes, all right, Cody," Obi-Wan replied, sounding disappointed. "I don't suppose there are any more droids around."
"No, sir." Cody kept his tone politely neutral and resolved to kill any droids he came across. He glanced at Wolffe, who gave a firm nod.
The generals came over to view Cody's holomap. The outpost was a tower. Nothing too difficult to destroy.
"Hm," said Obi-Wan, pointing to the top. "I'll take the high ground."
"I'll take the basement," Plo Koon rumbled.
Which left Cody and Wolffe with the second and third floors. They set off quickly, separating as they reached the main corridor. A few droids stood about, but Cody shot them before Obi-Wan could so much as ignite his lightsaber.
"Cody. . ."
Cody knelt to place his explosives. "Yes, sir?"
"Never mind." Obi-Wan sprinted off, probably hoping there were droids left in the top level. There weren't – Wolffe had cleared that area already – but Cody saw no pressing need to inform his general of the situation.
Cody entered the hall to see Wolffe and Plo Koon waiting. Good. Mission objectives complete. Now, they just had to wait for General Kenobi, and then they could spend a few hours hanging around and waiting for their shuttle.
He wondered why they'd been given such a large time-frame.
When five minutes had passed with no sign of Obi-Wan, Cody commed him. "Sir, are you finished with the explosives?"
"Explosives?" Obi-Wan laughed. "I finished with those ages ago."
Cody found this concerning. "Are you coming back to the rendezvous?"
"Rendezvous?"
"Sir?" Cody stared at his comlink. "Are you all right?"
"All right?"
Plo Koon stroked his mask. "There is . . . a disturbance in the Force. I suggest we locate Obi-Wan."
They entered the lift and rode to the top floor in silence. The doors sprang open to reveal a small room. Obi-Wan had his lightsaber out and was absently scoring the walls with it.
Plo Koon stepped forward. "Obi-Wan."
"YES?" The famed Jedi negotiator swung about to face them, deactivating his lightsaber and clipping it to his belt. "Ah, it's my old friend Plo Koon! So good to see you, my old friend Plo Koon! And – Wolffe, is it?"
Wolffe tilted his head in Cody's direction, pulled out a medical scanner, and sauntered over to Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan pulled back. "What's that?"
"Nothing," said Wolffe, and proceeded to scan him.
"Very well, then. Cody, what are you doing here?"
"Just checking up on the mission, sir." Cody wondered why Wolffe had a medical scanner in the first place.
"Mission?" Obi-Wan smiled blandly. "Ah, yes. The droids."
Maybe checking the charges Obi-Wan had set would be in everyone's best interests. Cody headed over to the explosives.
"Wolffe?" Plo Koon prompted.
"It looks like he's breathed in a compound that is, uh, affecting his brain . . ."
Of course, because why not? Force forbid they ever have a normal, danger-free mission. Cody sighed. Why is it always General Kenobi?
Wolffe glanced around, then pointed at a small opening in the wall. "It must have been a trap. The gas is deadly to Plutonians, but not to humans."
"How long will he be suffering the effects?" the Kel Dor asked, while Obi-Wan hummed in the background.
"Best estimate, two to four hours," Wolffe replied with a shrug.
"Hmmm." Plo Koon turned to lead the way out of the room. "Marvelous."
Cody, who'd just finished resetting the thirty-minute countdown on the charge to a three-hour countdown, was inclined to agree.
It had been a very long two hours. Plo Koon had wisely determined that they stay inside, out of the freezing cold, until the gunship arrived. After half an hour or so, he had decided to meditate, and now he sat peaceably at one side of the room, long hands folded in his lap.
Obi-Wan Kenobi, on the other hand, had talked incessantly. After the first hour, Cody and Wolffe finally arranged to take it in turns to answer him, in the shortest phrases possible. Cody was tired of talking, and General Kenobi seemed happy with any answer, regardless of what it was.
Now, Obi-Wan stopped his discourse on crystal caves – Cody had zoned out a few minutes ago – turned to face them, and demanded, "Why are we standing here?"
"Because," said Cody.
"Well, I suppose that makes sense." The Jedi general paced to the other side of the room. "Why are the walls white?"
"Because," said Wolffe, barely glancing up.
"Ah, I see. Why is Plo Koon meditating at a time like this?"
Cody let out a faint sigh. "Because."
Obi-Wan stroked his beard. "That is sound reasoning. Maybe I should try meditating." He dropped into a cross-legged position, folded his hands, closed his eyes, and drew in a very loud breath. His eyes sprang open, and he beamed at them. "Well, that was refreshing. Wolffe, what are you doing?"
Wolffe rolled his eyes.
Obi-Wan stared at him, obviously concerned. "My dear commander, your eyes are going to get stuck like that."
"Trust me," muttered Cody, in a rare unprofessional mood. "It's his default expression."
Wolffe tried to elbow him. Cody sidestepped, and Wolffe's elbow hit the wall with a loud crack.
"Don't fight, padawans," admonished Obi-Wan. "Jedi must not form attachments."
"Ahhh. . ." Cody stared at him in consternation. "I'm your commander, not a padawan."
Obi-Wan was busy observing a loose thread on his tunic. "As you wish, Anakin."
Cody straightened. "I am not General Skywalker."
"Yes, yes, if you insist."
While Wolffe choked on his own hilarity, Cody stared meaningfully at him. It was really, really not funny.
Plo Koon finally had the decency to open his eyes and join the conversation. "We will be leaving soon, Obi-Wan. Once we return to Coruscant –"
"Coruscant!" Obi-Wan sniffed disdainfully. "I don't expect there's anything useful for us to do there. Or anything important."
Plo Koon paused. "The Jedi Temple is there."
"Yes, I suppose we should visit soon. It's been a while."
It's been four standard days. Cody wisely kept his mouth shut.
General Koon, on the other hand, was implacable. "Coruscant is the Republic capital, Obi-Wan. The Senate is there. That is important."
"Hm, well. The Senate is particularly useless to us at this time. And as for the senators themselves –"
Dangerous territory! Cody's mind went to red alert, and he attempted to steer the conversation. "Senator Amidala is very helpful, sir."
Obi-Wan blinked a few times, as though his thought process had been derailed, before finally nodding. "Yes, she's quite grown up now. I met her when she was fourteen, you know."
Cody did not know.
"Senator Burtoni, on the other hand. . ." Obi-Wan shook his head. "Kaminoans really are the most frightful beings at times."
At this point, Plo Koon apparently decided it was safer to go back to meditating, for he closed his eyes, selfishly leaving the two commanders to sort Obi-Wan out.
"General –!" protested Wolffe, eyes wide with alarm.
Plo Koon pretended not to hear him.
"As for Senator Orn Free Taa," Obi-Wan went on loudly.
Cody repressed the urge to cover his ears.
Wolffe turned to Obi-Wan. "General –!"
"Curiously, he is the only fat Twi'lek I've ever come across," finished Obi-Wan calmly. "As a matter of fact, I think it safe to say that he is quite the bulbous old sack."
Wolffe stared at Cody.
Cody stared at the ground. Don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh . . . !
Wolffe laughed. "If Fox could hear this –"
"Wolffe!" hissed Cody, attempting to force his expression into something more suited to the occasion. A severe frown should do it.
It was too late.
Obi-Wan bounded upright. "Commander Fox? I recently spoke with him, some years back! Do you know, he stunned Senator Twill. I was quite shocked."
If Cody didn't already know that Wolffe's name had come from his tenacious nature, he'd now have reason to suspect that it came from the alert demeanor that he showed as Obi-Wan spoke. Or perhaps the fact that his ears had literally pricked up. Or even the predatory gleam in his eyes as he realized that here was blackmail material to use on Fox.
"Wolffe," Cody gritted out.
General Kenobi looked between them and shook his head. "Dear me, Cody, you're not being very friendly."
Oh, now he recognizes me.
Obi-Wan smiled. "Wolffe didn't shoot Twill, Fox did. And besides, Twill deserved it."
"Really, sir?" Wolffe's voice was quietly curious.
Cody smacked him, hard, between the shoulder blades. Wolffe lurched forward, but his expression was completely unrepentant.
"Yes. . ." Obi-Wan folded his arms. "Fox would know more about it. I just know that Twill deserved it. He was risking something important."
"Fox's sanity?" suggested Wolffe with an immature snicker.
Obi-Wan blinked, his mind visibly shifting onto another track. "Sanity? Fox says that the latest bill the Senate passed is insane."
Oh, no.
"I haven't had time to look into it, but –"
"Trust Fox to have opinions on politics," Wolffe growled. "The idiot is going to get himself –" He broke off, turned around, and began knocking his forehead against the wall.
"It seems to me that he knew what he's talking about," Obi-Wan went on, speaking happily to the ceiling. "Even though he thought he was talking to himself at the time. I suspect he didn't know I was in the ventilator shaft."
The general was in a ventilator shaft in the Senate building. . .? Cody considered following Wolffe's example. It looked therapeutic.
After a relatively peaceful second or so, Obi-Wan came over and observed Wolffe carefully. "What are you doing?"
Wolffe rested his head against the wall and stared at the ground. "Signaling the guys in the next room."
Obi-Wan ran to the door, opened it, peered in, and vanished. Cody sighed heavily, sent Wolffe a half-hearted glare, and followed him. "General . . ."
"Wait!" The commanding tone caught him off-guard for a moment, and Cody hesitated. Obi-Wan held up a warning hand. "I must signal the guys in the next room."
He raised one hand and knocked out a rapid pattern on the wall. "That's done, Cody, we can leave now."
". . . Yes, sir."
It took them several minutes to go back into the next room, because Obi-Wan got distracted again and gave a lecture, pointing out all kinds of evidence that Plutonians liked green light better than blue.
They returned to see General Koon, who was still sitting, looking both amused and guilty as Wolffe stared down at him, arms folded.
"I suppose I can assist you, if you really think it necessary," Plo Koon said amicably.
Wolffe's usual 'unamused' expression increased in intensity.
Plo Koon got gracefully to his feet. "Very well, then. Come, Obi-Wan, let us see what this planet is like on the outside."
The famed Negotiator stood half in and half out of the entrance, staring fixedly at the snow-covered ground before him. "It's – soft," he said in disgust.
Rather than attempt to explain that snow was often soft, Cody said, "Yes, sir."
"How presumptuous." Obi-Wan sniffed, took a cautious step forward and added, "It's also white."
Wolffe sighed. Cody stared out at the horizon and prayed that General Skywalker didn't come to pick them up. Something told him that Anakin would be having way too much fun with the . . . situation.
"Tell me, my good friend Plo Koon – is it normal for snow to be soft and white?"
"Yes." Plo Koon waded through a drift, his robe leaving a wide swath behind him.
Obi-Wan reached down and prodded the snow with a fingertip. "It seems rather dense and malleable. And cold!"
Wolffe wandered away, trailing after his own general.
"Wolffe," said Cody. "What are you and General Plo doing?"
The Kel Dor general actually stopped walking to consider, then glanced back at Wolffe and tilted his head mischievously. "Scouting the perimeter. Isn't that right, Wolffe?"
"Yes, sir. Definitely."
There is no perimeter, you traitor. But Cody couldn't exactly say that aloud, not to the general, so he put his helmet on and set his comm channel to Wolffe's. "There is no perimeter, you traitor."
Wolffe made the ARC hand signal for 'negative'.
"So, you're agreeing that there's no perimeter."
'Affirmative.'
"And that you're being a traitor," Cody ended.
Wolffe glanced back over his shoulder and signaled 'affirmative' once more.
Cody had spent ten long minutes gazing into the stratosphere, hoping for some sign of the gunship, to no avail. General Kenobi was still shuffling about, packing snow between his hands and into some sort of figure. Cody hadn't really been paying attention. Wolffe and General Koon were still walking about, busy 'scouting' and therefore conveniently unable to watch Obi-Wan.
Or. . . something. He figured that's how their logic worked, anyway.
The commlink on his wrist blinked. "Commander Cody, this is Crash. I'm on my way to your position."
. . . FINALLY. Aloud, Cody said, "Affirmative. Mission objectives completed. Landing zone clear. No casualties."
Anakin's voice came through next. "I guess Obi-Wan was right when he said this mission would be uneventful."
Cody froze, his mind hovering between 'I guess he wasn't' and 'General Skywalker's coming here?'
"General," he said carefully. "I thought you were on a mission."
"Yeah," said Anakin. "But we finished early, and I haven't had the chance to fly a gunship yet, so I thought I'd co-pilot for Crash."
A loud voice sounded right behind Cody. "Anakin! You're co-piloting a crash? It's bad enough when you crash on your own, thank you very much!"
Before Anakin could reply, Cody – ignoring Obi-Wan's comment – switched channels. "General Koon, our ride's here."
The gunship came in fast, its nose plowing up an unnecessarily high drift as it skated to an eventual halt. Cody noted with interest that the pilot couldn't actually see out the blast shield anymore. He supposed it didn't particularly matter.
The doors sprang open, and Rex stepped out. "Cody. How'd the mission go?"
Cody stared, then put a hand to his forehead. He shook his head slowly.
Rex looked around. "It looks like you didn't have any trouble."
"Rex. . ." Cody sighed again. "Why are you here?"
"I'm just along for the ride." Rex trudged through the snow. "What's that?"
Wearily, Cody turned to face General Kenobi, who was putting the finishing touches on – "General, what's that?"
Obi-Wan beamed at Rex. "Hello, there, blue Cody!"
Rex looked from Cody to Obi-Wan and back. "What?"
"Or is Cody a yellow Wolffe, and Wolffe a grey Rex? Or is Rex a blue Wolffe, and Wolffe a grey Cody? Or . . . do you know, I'm dreadfully confused."
"Yeah," said Cody, in a defeated voice. "I know."
"Hey, Obi-Wan!" called Anakin as he sauntered over. "How'd the – what is that?"
"General Skywalker," interjected Cody. "The general, he breathed in some sort of compound that affected the nerve centers in his brain. It's not dangerous, but he, ah –"
"Obi-Wan?" Anakin tapped his master on the shoulder. "Are you –?"
"I have it!" shouted Obi-Wan, causing Anakin to flinch in surprise. "Rex is a blue Cody, because I'm older than Anakin and Cody is older than Rex!"
"General," said Cody. "That made absolutely no sense. We should leave now."
"Later, Cody." Obi-Wan brushed his hand away. "I'm still busy. I shouldn't be long, though, don't worry. We still have time to make it to Coruscant and save Fox."
Before Rex could ask any questions, Wolffe and Plo Koon showed up. Anakin ignored their arrival – he was still busy staring at his master with a rather dazed expression on his usually alert face.
"This is - definitely worse," said Rex, apparently reaching some conclusion.
Cody cast him a weary look. "What?"
Rex gestured at Obi-Wan. "This is definitely worse than the amnesia."
Anakin looked confused. "Obi-Wan had amnesia?"
"No, sir, you did." And Cody did not want to go into that whole disaster right now, thanks all the same. He stared longingly at the gunship.
"I – don't remember having amnesia," Anakin mused.
"Obi-Wan," rumbled Plo Koon. "We should leave now."
"Yes, yes, one moment! I must finish . . ." Obi-Wan packed a bit of snow onto a very peculiar-looking figure.
"If I may," said Wolffe. "General. What is that?"
"Can't you tell?" Obi-Wan spun around with a grand flourish. "I'm constructing a Snow Plo!"
I had so much fun writing this one. . . :)
Here's a question for you guys: do you want a follow-up describing what happens once they get on the ship?
