An unusual disclaimer: Ranma ½ is a trademark of Rumiko Takahashi and VIZ Communications, and its characters have been borrowed without permission. And Son Turned Daughter was originally written in 2002 by the FanFiction author Tangent, and his characters Megumi, Yasushi and Ayane have, likewise, been borrowed without permission. Please see the first two chapters under his pen name. This story is written for non-commercial purposes only.

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Akane and Ranma were making sure Dr. Tofu got home safely. He saw somebody he knew along the way. "Why, Bette, what a pleasant surprise meeting you here!"

"There's a skeleton doin' yoga in the middle of the street," said the still male Ranma.

"Uh, Dt. Tofu, perhaps you could show Bette home?" Akane said.

"We shouldn't disturb an ascetic's meditation."

"She shouldn't be in the middle of the street."

"What if a dog found her?"

'They did manage to convince the good man to carry her home, which just happened to be the clinic "apartment" beneath his own. It wasn't until she was hanging from her display stand that his sanity returned. "Where's Kasumi?"

"His glasses are startin' to fog up again."

"Don't think about my sister for now, Dr. Tofu. She'll be here too soon." Akane looked at Ranma. "But before she does, you can help Ranma."

"I already told him it is my professional opinion as a physician and a martial artist that he practice being a girl as much as he's comfortable being."

"And I have been! At school that's all they know me as, the girl! It's when I'm outa school and a guy that have to hear that professional opinion of yours!"

Dr. Tofu's answer was a kata routine. "These are the moves you can make as a male. It accentuates your male physicality."

"Doctor Tofu! That's practically perverted!" Akane blushed.

"No, it's just accentuating the most male part of the anatomy. These are moves his cursed form cannot accomplish. But, Akane is correct. I'd be careful where you perform this kata, Ranma."

"Seems stupid, but I know some pretty stupid martial arts routines, thanks to my idiot pop."

"Oh, you know the Tiptoeing Frog? The Tumbling Turtle? The Kung Fu Panda?"

" ' don't know that last one. ' don't wanna know. ' don't want pop to be able to use it as a real panda!"

"Enough martial arts shoptalk! We don't have much time! The problem is Ranma knows, I think, or pretty sure he's always going to have a male brain when he does have a male brain, but he's not sure he can deal with the memories he has as a girl!"

"I'm think I'm havin' trouble with understandin' my guy memories when I'm the girl, too. I ain't sure, 'cuz I can understand them when I'm a guy."

Dr, Tofu nodded. The diagnosis is correct. The brains of the two genders are required to be wired differently to carry out their biological destinies. For the female, it is to become a mother and raise her children to maturity. Depending on the woman, there can be considerable extension of her nurturing instincts to others not her own children."

Like Kasumi? Being denied a husband and children of her own was she reaching out for substitutes? From Ranma's limited experience with such things, he believed that most women Kasumi's age wanted to be already married and have a family. Of course, since Ranma couldn't relate this to tactical information on an opponent - How could anybody think of Kasumi as an opponent? - he was having difficulty understanding what the doc was talking about this time. Maybe his girl brain would, but would his?

"Then there is the means to having children to raise. Biologically, the female is the bottom to the man's top."

"No! That's sexist nonsense! Women do not have to be on the bottom!" Akane protested, her hand almost reaching for her invisible mallet.

"No, it is true. But biology depends on variation. There are women who are better being tops and there are men who are better being bottoms. The question really comes down to compatibility. As long as one of a couple is top and the other is bottom, their relationship has a good chance of enduring. If they are both bottom and bottom or top and top …." He studied the couple before him. Akane got the implication. As for Ranma…

"So the best way to practice bein' a girl is to be like Kasumi?"

"Why aren't we talking about how Ranma could remain and be more of a man?!" Akane raised her voice. As a Tendo, she was going into denial. She didn't want to hear how she could be a more stereotypically female!

"That is the context. Ranma has far more male memories than female memories. If he can learn the biological necessities that shape the female brain, then he will have a better chance to understand his girl half as both a male and a female. Now, his girl brain needs to understand that males are-"

"Hello, Dr. Tofu! I'm sorry I was delayed!"

"Frogs and snails and puppy-dog's tails, Especially wagging puppy dog tails. See this kata I've taught you?"

"Dr. Tofu, my sister is coming!" Seeing a spray bottle for watering plants, Akane picked it up.

[][][]

"Do we have to leave so soon?" Kasumi asked as Akane and the redhead in boys clothes gently forced her to leave the clinic.

"Yes, Big Sis, he, uh, has to see patients who, uh, had to be at work before now."

"Oh, my, yes! Dr. Tofu is a very dedicated healer. He's helping me study on how to become a nurse when nobody will need me at home."

"Nursing means bein' like a mother, don't it?" Ranma asked.

"There is more to it than that. And there is more to being a mother than simply having a job for eight or twelve hours or more certain days of the week. But there is a similarity, yes."

Ranma walked in silence for a while, thinking on something.

"Ranma, you're not planning something, are you? Remember what bringing home Kuno did!"

"No. The Doc said knowin' biology's gonna help me deal with havin' two brains. I'm just tryin' to remember the biology classes I had. I remember the frogs, but not the other stuff."

"What, may I ask?" Kasumi asked.

"Frogs and snails and puppy dog tails."

"That's what little boys are made of!" Kasumi smiled, completing the verse. "And girls are made of sugar and spice and everything-"

"No, Kasumi! Don't listen to her Ranma!"

"Girls are made of everything? Everything comes from females 'cuz they have…" Ranma suddenly felt sick to her belly.

"Nice! Alright, I said it: Nice! Being a girl isn't everything!"

"Being a girl is nice, Ranma. But you are also a boy," and Kasumi's hand took her far shoulder and pulled her to herself as they walked along. "Two halves make a whole."

"I'll never be whole."

[][][]

Arriving at the Tendos, Ranma thought about finding a place to be alone and think about things. But the girl brain wanted company. She had spent too much time alone as a guy. She had at least two people, Akane and Kasumi, who seemed to accept her for what she was, so she was going to take advantage of it before they, too, were snatched away from her. She followed "Big Sister" Kasumi like a little-

"What happened here!?" the redhead asked on seeing the common room. It was a mess! She would've thought one of her and her Old Man's brawl's had gotten completely out of hand if it weren't for the tire, innertube and the sturdiest branch from the tree strewn about.

"We, uh, we were having an argument," Mr. Tendo said.

"Soun accused me of cheating at shogi!" pop said pointing an accusing finger.

Nabiki was casually laying stomach down on the floor, a manga in front of her while she was watching TV. "They were trying to keep Kasumi from going to the clinic."

"Nabiki!"

"What? Isn't that right, Kasumi?"

"Now that I'm back home, I can clean up this mess."

Ranma stomach growled. Akane's joined it. Ranma volunteered, "Why don't I clean up here and you fix supper?"

"I'll help!" Akane raised her hand.

"Take my advice, Ranma, and don't let her, Ranma."

"I meant I'll help Kasumi make supper!"

"Let her help you, Ranma!"

"Please!" Mr. Tendo pleaded.

"Only if pop…. " Splash! "Aw, geez! Pandas can do housework, you know!"

[That's women's work]

[][][]

The heavy gates of the Tendo compound slammed behind them. "Let's carouse like we did in the good old days, Genma."

[How will we pay?]

"Pandas are always crowd pleasers."

[][][]

"I'll show that stupid Old Man!" Ranma said, rolling up further her already rolled up sleeves! "I'll be the best housekeeper there is! I'll make Kasumi proud of me!"

"You know you gave them just what they wanted," Nabiki said. "You do "women's work" while they get a boys' night out."

"Just like Big Sis," Akane confirmed.

Ranma frowned. "You're right! Aw, man! I'd like pop to hafta stay and see me be his idea of a woman."

"There'll be other times. Meanwhile, we have a male mess to clean up. Typical!" said Akane of the Truce Enforcement Club as she began by bending to pick up the heavy tree branch. "Why is there dirt on it?!"

"Male brains," Nabiki said. "They wanted the place to be, literally, dirty."

"I'm going to change into something I don't care gets dirty."

"Bet that she's going to get her dojo-gi?" Nabiki smirked. But Ranma wasn't listening.

"Kasumi, do you have an extra apron?"

"You'll still get your only boy clothes dirty. Why not do it nude? There's only us girls here, now."

"So you can take pictures? No, thanks!"

Suddenly Nabiki had an inspiration! "Wait here! I'm going to check in my room."

Ranma really wasn't interested until he heard her singing, "Magic, magic, Ma~gic! Make my wish come true!"

Kasumi did have an apron Ranma could wear. But the redhead felt guilty about wearing it, it seemed too nice, clean and even pressed. It had to be a new one.

"Ranma! How much do you really want to tick off your dad?" Nabiki said, coming back with a garment bag on a hanger. "I take photos of you wearing this and you can flash them in front of his muzzle anytime you'd like! I'll even make duplicates," her head nodded towards the claw-slashed tire and tree branch, and, then, from behind her back, she brought out the shredded purple negligee that Ranma had worn last night while she slept in the same room as the panda.

[][][]

Ranma returned from the bath room wearing the French maid's uniform.

"Wow! And it even fits!" Nabiki marveled. "Even with the bloating."

"Like Ranma was cursed to wear it! Take it off, Ranma!" Akane told her.

Ranma thought about it, tugging at the hem of a skirt so short her frilly panties would've shown if she weren't also wearing layers of little, frilly "slips". She bit her lip. "You promise nobody else's gonna see me like this?"

"Nobody at school, nobody in Nerima!" Nabiki held up her hand in a pledge, while holding the camera in the other. "Nobody will know your name. Nobody will know where you live."

"Ranma, don't trust her!" But Akane saw that look she saw on their way home from school. "Oh, no. This is another Kuno."

"This is the way I can punish Pop!" her eyes had that crazed look. "He'll see that even if - especially IF - he's not around I can be doin' girly-girly, womanly, female type stuff! He'll see part of the evidence and wonder what I'm not showin' him!"

"Kasumi!" Akane ran for back-up!

In the kitchen, Kasumi explained, "Though Ranma is sixteen, she's so new to being a woman, it's like she's just beginning puberty. Her womanly impulses are pushing her to test the boundaries of her sexuality."

"Her what!?"

"Now, Akane. We don't know Ranma will act on them to actually be made a woman. Overhearing Father and Uncle Saotome talk, the male Ranma has been strictly raised to believe that sex drains a warrior's ki energy. He is a virgin and he wants to stay that way as long as he can. But…."

"But he has a girl's brain now!"

Kasumi bit her lip. But she went back to preparing the sukiyaki. "She needs to discover her boundaries. Just as you, Nabiki, and I did."

[][][]

"You're not wearing the fishnet hose!"

"And I ain't gonna! The only thing I want on my legs are my pants!"

"What about the high heels?"

"They're not indoor shoes! And I'd get those dirty doin' this kinda housework! I don't mind if this stupid uniform gets dirty or ruined!"

"At least, stand on your tiptoes as if your were wearing heels!"

"Don't push it, Nabiki. At least I'm dressed like, like -Ugh! I must be goin' crazy!" Ranma immediately started in on cleaning and straightening the common room. She needed to direct her raging energies somewhere!

The first to go was the branch almost half the size of its tree trunk. It landed against that trunk on the other side of the garden yard. The large, slashed tire fell on the rocks that lined the koi pond. The innertube got thrown under the crawlspace of the house for possible future use. Click. Click.

"Nabiki!" Akane cried, coming into the room,

Just raising from getting it under the porch, Ranma swung her head around. She realized then that all of her frill-covered ass was available for Nabiki's camera. She had no real feminine modesty, yet, but there was something about guys and other guys staring at their butts that made her pivot around. Click. Click.

"Nabiki!"

What now!? She was still basically bent over and her boobs were threatening to spill out of the short upstairs, too, neckline.

Calling on a show of dignity, she rose straight and as tall as a girl 5'2" could, hands on her hips, feet apart. Click. Click.

There was no 'Nabiki!' So why the clicking?

"There are different poses for different markets. Your target demographic is your dad, Ranma. We have to have you looking like you enjoy behaving as a girl."

So, Nabiki had to content herself with photos that were rather boring without the viewer knowing that a boy lurked inside that petite, bombshell body, Not that she would pass up any opportunity for more explicit shots. Besides, she knew that Ranma was now on the slippery slope to gravure pictures. With a little work and more magic, she could make Ranma into an idol.

[][][]

The photo session ended early! Everybody was forced to run out the open shoji doors to the garden because of the dirt storm raised by Akane trying to sweep what had been deposited by the two fathers out of the house.

"That dirt's made the room more of a mess!" Ranma cried in frustration. She didn't care at all how much of it covered her once clean, new French maid's uniform.. Of course, it also was on every part of her that wasn't covered. Her. Nabiki. Akane. Kasumi.

"*Cough*Cough* Supper is ruined, I'm afraid," Kasumi announced. Stomachs rumbled.

"I'm sorry," Akane both wanted to cry and yell at herself.

"Getting clean in the bath room is probably out, too. I bet the dirt's spread all the way down the hall." frowned Nabiki.

"I'm sorry, I said!" She was ready to both cry and yell at anybody. The redhead saw that her friend needed comforting and stepped up to her to hold her. Bust to bust. No bisexuality implied. Yet.

"Cute. Because of Akane's crime, you're sharing grime." Even Kasumi didn't think Nabiki's remark was tolerable. "Okay! Okay! In honor of the establishment of Nabiki Studios, I'm treating us all to a public bath and a vending machine meal!"

"I can't go nowhere lookin' like this!" Ranma said, her filthy hands fluffing out the hem of her short 'slips' and skirt out.

"And I'm wearing my dojo-gi!" dirty everywhere Akane added.

The mostly smudged Kasumi sighed, "There are clothes on the drying poles around the corner. But what are a few more things to wash. I'm sure all those in the utility room have to be re-laundered as well."

[][][]

Nabiki and Kasumi got to wear clothes that belonged to them. Akane had to settle with one of Kasumi's skirts and Nabiki's halter top and midriff-stopping pullover. The skirt was too tight and the top was too loose. So tight and loose that, as long as she wasn't out in public, she would tug the bottom out and pull the top up. As for Ranma…

"Can't say I like the design of this kimono, but it's okay if I'm a girl." There were times and places in Japan where men still wore kimonos. She had the vague memory of seeing Nabiki wearing this particular one on the day she first met her. -Hey, that was right! "When you wore this you couldn't stop poking my boobs! Just how bisexual are?!"

Instead of answering her, Nabiki asked, "Kasumi, how to you launder silk?"

"I hand wash it in cold water."

"See, Ranma? Silk and that redhair go together." Click. Click.

She also got shots of the redhead washing her feet in the cold water of the pond. ("As I said") Ranma was the only one allowed to open the front door, reach out and get their outdoor shoes from the genkan.

[][][]

Besides kimonos, Ranma also had no problem wearing getas, especially since they were just her size. She was glad the thongs on little wooden stilts were in the Tendo genkan, since Nabiki's kimono was a little too long for her short legs. She couldn't wear them when she wore Western-style clothes, though. Of course, girls could wear high heels…

She hadn't had much practice in getas, and her thinking wasn't on how to walk in them correctly. She broke one of the straps. "Oh, man!" Annoying. She looked and saw she hadn't wandered too far behind the others. She picked up the useless geta and started hopping after them. Before she could speak, somebody else did.

"I see you need help, Miss." It was a shaggy-haired boy about her own age with yellow bandana on his head and rough, durable traveling-clothes. He was less dirty than she was. "Let me."

"I don't need you help! If you think I'm gonna-" The boy took off the bandana - there was somehow another, identical one beneath it - and tore a piece off. Aw, man! Why he have to do that! A gift! She seemed obligated to accept gifts.

After repairing the thong. He smiled. But it wasn't a smile of a guy coming on to her. Maybe. "Could you tell me how to get to Nerima, Japan. I overheard somebody I...knew was moving there."

"You are in Nerima."

"I am! That's wonderful! Bye! Now, I just have to find out what high school he goes to!"

"There's only one high school in Nerima: Furinkan!"

"Furinkan?! Thank you, again, Miss! You've been so helpful!"

The Tendo sisters had lingered to watch the scene. "It's like something out of those stories that begin with a boy helping a girl with her broken geta." Kasumi smiled.

"Yeah, corny stories. Guys don't do that any more."

"That boy did," Akane pointed out. "He seems traditional and, maybe, nice."

"Aw! What do I care! I ain't interested in no guys!" He did seem nice, though. Maybe she wouldn't mind meeting him again. He didn't seem interested in dating her. Maybe they could even be just friends.

[][][]

The public bath was unlike any she was familiar with! It was like a marble palace with painted murals, the biggest being one of Mt. Fuji above a sea of clouds in back of a hot, soaking pool able to hold dozens of people and a high wall dividing the female from the male sides.

"Aw, man! Which side do I choose?"

"Here's a hint, Ranma," Nabiki said, "Fench maid."

"You're right. I can't be in public when I have deal with that memory. So, I don't get to relax and soak in hot water. All I can have is a yet another cold shower again."

"Look out for steam," Akane reminded her. "You might use cold, but other women don't."

Going in through the women's door, Ranma stopped and did the warding sign. "What is it?!" asked Akane.

"Nude women!"

"And what else did you expect to see in a public bath as a girl?" Nabiki smrked.

"But, but, but…. They're not high school girls!" She was struggling to get used to seeing those undressed in the gym locker room.

"Oh, my. I think I understand." And Kasumi gently took her by the hand and led her. "Ranma, you need to see the reality of being a woman."

Even in the locker room, the neo-girl was forced to see fat, saggy women, thin, saggy women, one that wasn't saggy because because she was very pregnant, two that were too thin, and boobs in all shapes and sizes. The most unattractive ones had hair down there, but even some of those were bald like the others. And as for what their slits did not hide….

"Ranma? Ranma?! Are you there?!" Akane asked. Oh, no! Was the boy in her friend discovering he was a pervert?!

"Oh, saggy! But that one's boobs aren't saggy, yet-" Akane slapped her hand over Ranma's mouth. Here eyes appealed to her big sister.

"We'll talk about the realities of being a woman at home, not in public," Kasumi said. "Save your questions for then. Just take all this in for referral."

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Nabiki found it hard to believe she was embarrassed at Ranma seeing her nude. No, not nude. She was feeling naked around the girl-who-was/would-be-a-guy. She had a reputation to maintain. She just hoped Ranma was so naive she didn't pick up on the meaning of the signs.

Ranma was too overwhelmed and too busy reining in her trained senses to consciously notice how red the middle sister's skin was or how low the color was. She, too, was blushing but it was better hidden by techniques she had learned on how to be loose for combat. She had no doubt that if these nude women found out she was man there would be combat. They probably wouldn't suspect because she couldn't bring herself to look at most of their not-cute bodies for very long.

But they could her! Just like the girls at school, they all checked her body out. She had to remember to ask Kasumi about that. Are women naturally bisexual?

"Here, Ranma, Akane and I will sit on either side of you while you shower," Kasumi said. "That way you're less likely to be accidentally struck by hot water."

"Accidentally!" Akane half-teased, raising her showerhead. She still wasn't certain if Ranma was turning into a pervert. Her eyes were too furtive.

Ranma nodded, feeling more relaxed on looking on a nude Akane than any other woman. They had not only shared a gym locker room together, they had only over an hour ago showered together in the Tendo bath room. She definitely didn't have anything Ranma hadn't seen before. And she wasn't perverted enough to think about those two places where she actually hadn't. Not yet, at least.

As for Kasumi…. Ranma had to, she just had to! she told herself. The eldest Tendo girl had accepted Ranma calling her Big Sister. It wouldn't be respectful not to look at her when she had no clothes on. It could be considered rude since in Japan women bathed openly with women. Japan had the hot tub well before the Westerners stole the idea. The ancient tradition of soaking in a furo was tied in with being sociable and polite. House guests were invited to join their host family members of the same sex in the tub. When he was a guy, she wouldn't think anything of showering and soaking with other guys. Well, maybe. She'd have to see.

So, the little redhead steeled her nerves and turned her head, hopefully casually. Big Sister had a film of soap on her perfect skin. It made her seem so shiny! Every part of her was accented by shadows, light and lighter, and sheen, bright and brighter. It gave an impression of unreality to her. She was better than real life. She had a heightened reality that made her seem almost ethereal. Kasumi turned to look at her, Ranma, the "Little Siste/Brother". Was that a big, globe, light fixture behind her head or a halo?

Ranma's eyes retreated, bringing her eyes down to her (own) naked body. There was some filmy sheen to her skin but that was a lie. There seemed to be far more lather. And the cold water was making her skin goosebump, as well as make her boobs and nipples feel tighter. At least they weren't sagging. Yet. Sagging? Ranma opened her legs. Down there, below her naturally red hair color, was she-

"Ranma!"

"What?" Ranma asked, not thinking she was being told to closer her legs. "How long before the girl me gets saggy?"

"Ranma!" Akane yelled and forced both legs to shut. She was more embarrassed that other women heard, and saw, than the neo-girl was.

[][][]

They didn't stay long after that. Though Nabiki tried to talk them into going into the pool. She was paying for their trip to the public bath and she wanted to get her money's worth. But it wasn't too difficult for her sisters to convince her it wasn't safe for Ranma to be left unattended in a large room full of naked, large women.

Now it was time for them to eat. First of all was the milk that so many Japanese drank with their bath. Which was strange, considering the great majority were lactose intolerant. But this public bath had lactose free alternatives to the hard-to-digest stuff.

Ranma, in her kimono and getas, did the ritual, "Thank you very much", before forcing the stuff down.

"You don't like milk?" Akane asked.

"I had to eat and drink all sorts of stuff I didn't like livin' on the road for ten years. I can take it." And she drank the rest in one long gulp. It was a wonder her short mouth could hold so much at one time. And when finished, "Bleah!"

"How do you like ice cream, Ranma?" Kasumi asked.

"It tastes better than milk." But not by much. "We had to eat what we carried in our travel packs. Ice cream melts, so we never bothered eatin' it most of the time."

"Then it will be may treat...Little Sister," Kasumi said.

[][][]

Nerima still had a fairly prosperous, traditional, market street. But the stall Kasumi wanted to go had its roll-up door down and locked. Many stalls were ending up shuttered all over Japan. "Oh, my! And they had my favorite ice cream, chai."

"Tea ice cream?" Ranma struggled not to show her distaste at Big Sister's tastes.

"There's the Sanzenin Ice Cream Emporium not too far away," Akane said. "Only it's on the pricey side."

Click. Click.

"This is my treat, Nabiki. I have mad money saved up, and this is the first time in a long time I felt like going mad."

[][][]

As they entered the relatively narrow but elegant looking restaurant one of the ice cream colored, wrought iron chairs beside a matching table, a blonde boy was finishing up putting on his roller blade. The older version of him behind the display case yelled, "Mikado, don't be late! I don't care what you think of her - She's rich!"

"Why must the wealthy be insane?" he grumbled as he picked up his ice skates from the table and rolled his way past the Tendo and Friend party.

"Welcome! What flavor would delight you young, beautiful women the most?!" the proprietor said.

"Do you have chai?"

"No, I'm sorry. I don't. I can get you some tea bags."

"No. I never have tea from teabags. Now...what are the other choices."

"Ginger! Everybody loves ginger ice cream! No? How about you, Red?"

"I can't make up my mind." She'd wait and see what Big Sister had. She could tolerate anything.

"Shaved ice, menthol, for me," Nabiki said.

"You're right, they do have menthol," Akane said. The she smirked, "Won't eat ice cream because you're on a diet?"

"I'm developing a reputation for being an Ice Queen." Akane wasn't sure if Nabiki was kidding or not. Maybe not, as she actually accepted her order.

"Let's see," Akane said, scanning the selection. "I'll take everything!"

"You're not on a diet," Nabiki smirked.

"No," she pointed to the menu on the wall, "they serve parfaits!"

"Parfaits?" Ranma looked to see the different kinds of ice cream and fruit and granola, et cetera, available in one serving. "If there's one kind of eatin' i like is everything!"

"Parfaits are more expensive," Nabiki the household budget-keeper reminded.

"Then parfaits it is for my Little Sisters!"

"Not me," Nabiki said, sitting down with her menthol shaved ice. "I am on a diet," she said, playing it cool.

[][][]

"That was delicious!" Ranma grinned as they came out of the ice cream restaurant. "The next time I eat ice cream it's gonna be parfaits! Every flavor of everything I can afford!"

Click. Click.

Ranma ignored Nabiki. "But I don't think I can eat it as a guy. What made it really special was havin' you guys there eatin' yours with me! I ain't never had no company like that! It made me…."

"We understand," Big Sister said, holding her hand as Little Sister Three fought back the tears.

Ranma tried to speak, but knew she couldn't without bawling.

Akane tried to help her. "Where to now?"

"Home?" Kasumi suggested.

"Nabiki said she has more than just milk money!" Akane said.

"I wouldn't be spending any of it if you hadn't tried to do housework!"

"No! No, don't fight!" Ranma cried and ran! "You're spoilin' everything!"

[][][]

She was blinded by her tears The geta-clopping, kimono girl didn't know where she was going and only her trained senses kept her from running into people and things. Finally she could no longer find the drive to run, and had to just sit down and hang her head and cry.

"Uh, could you maybe get off of me?" a weak boy's voice said beneath her butt.

"Who?" the redhead wiped at her tears and finally rose. The most she could see of him at first was the grey martial arts gi he wore. No, not another fighter! She was in no mood!

"Thank you, miss. I'm sorry I'm not moving, but my horse threw me again. I'll be alright if I'm given enough time to heal."

"But you're layin' practically in the middle of the street."

"People think I'm just one of the drunks that lie sleeping in the streets all over Japan."

"Would you like something to drink?" Come to think of it, that sounded like a good idea. Too bad the legal drinking age was 20.

"I'm not allowed to drink anything but tea."

Ranma laughed in a sudden mood swing, "How about melted chai ice cream?"

"No. Only traditional tea."

[][][]

Ranma found it hard to believe he would meet a more pathetic martial artist. She would meet somebody more pathetic, but he wouldn't be a martial artist. She was feeling pretty pathetic herself. She had to find her Tendo "Sisters". They were probably on their way home.

"Come one *hic*, come all! She the ffantashtic trained panda!"

Okay, she was wrong. Here were two pathetic martial artists.

"You whoould almosht think it was Kung Fu Panda itshelff!"

"Bleah! What poor form! It can barely stand up on two legs!"

"Rahhn,ma!"

"Look! A little woman can tip it over!" And she did and it rolled onto its back.

Soun looked at the handful of bystanders looking on, with three more stopping now that a cute girl in a kimono had gotten into the act. "Wha,aht do you ekshpect. It'sh jusht a panda!"

"Just a panda? Panda's are worth lots and lots of yen! What is my bid for this attractive bear-cat rug?!"

[Don't do this, Son!]

"Ah,ha! See? It ain't "just a panda"! It's the most valuable panda in the whole world! What other panda can write?!" She half-twisted to say to it, "You're son ain't doin' this to you."

"None of my customers got that kinda loot, kid! Get away from my booze wagon! You're keeping away the business!"

"You stupid sot funnel! Look! They're coming to see me! Everybody likes to look at a cute girl! And I'm the cutest! Especially in this kimono!" And she started doing an impromptu, traditional geisha dance she had seen a few times at village festivals. "Remember this one, Pop?"

"You're the one that's stupid, you ditz! You attract them, but unless you stay, they won't stay! In the meantime, they're blocking traffic and keeping real customers from ordering!"

"Too bad," and she gave him the evil-eye-with-tongue.

The booze wagon owner nudged one of his customers. The salaryman smiled and called out, "Say, you do that dance pretty damn well. Do you know the song?"

"Of course!" And Ranma opened her mouth to sing. The Master of Booze Wagon Martial Arts sprayed the beer from shook bottle after shook bottle straight into her mouth.