An unusual disclaimer: Ranma ½ is a trademark of Rumiko Takahashi and VIZ Communications, and its characters have been borrowed without permission. And Son Turned Daughter was originally written way back in 2002 by the FanFiction author Tangent, and his characters Megumi, Yasushi and Ayane have, likewise, been borrowed without permission. Please see the first two chapters of this story under his pen name. This story is written for non-commercial purposes only.

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It didn't get a nosebleed! The humiliation - and at the hand of its enemy! - was too much for Burin! It kicked out with its free left hind leg!

"Ow!" Ranma cried, releasing her loose hold on the beast.

The pig propelled itself backward and bounced off the tiled wall by the shower fixture. It landed on the floor, scrambled first with its left hind leg then with its freed left foreleg and found the purchase to jump into the furo hot tub!

Splash! SWOOSH! Out rose an intensely angry guy! (Wearing a garter around his right arm.)

"How Dare you! How Dare you, Ranma Saotome!"

"Wait! I met you, today, right(!)?! You been to those cursed spring, too!?"

"And how Dare you pretend you don't know me! I'm Ryoga Hibiki!"

"Ryoga, that's it! Sorry you fell in Spring of Drowned Pig."

"I was cursed because I followed you! You coward!"

"COWARD!? Who're you callin'' a coward!?" Ranma was on her feet, ready to fight!

"YOU! You ran away from a challenge!"

"I never run away from a challenge! I wouldn't be in danger of bein' a bride if I did!"

"A bride?" Confusion sidetracked his anger. "Like wearing a wedding kimono and wig and sipping rice wine?"

"Worse! A Western-style wedding dress in the fanciest wedding a rich guy can afford!"

"A guy!? You're going to marry a guy?!" His voice rose in protest, "But you're a guy!"

"That's why it's a danger!" The angst was written on her cute face.

Until she realized, "You know I'm a guy?"

"I said I followed you! Ever since junior high school I've been on your trail, Ranma Saotome! Unlike you, I'M a man of honor! I don't run away like a girl!"

"Don't you go insulting girls! I get enough of that crap from My Old Man!" She could take him! She knew how he fought, both as a guy and a pig! "And none of them are stupid enough to chase me for a year-"

"Three years! I've been hunting for you for three years!"

"Man, talk about stupid. Why'dyou want and go and do a stupid thing like that(!)?!

"Because you stole my bread!"

"Bread? Bread?! You wasted three years of your life because you say I stole your bread!? Stupid doesn't even begin to say what you are!"

"A challenge is a challenge - and you didn't fight me!"

"You're serious. Okay, I'll fight you. But not here. I'm a guest here - And you are, too! Akane says the Tendos don't got much money, and Nabiki says I cost them a lot, today."

"You'll run out on our fight, again!" But Ryoga did recognize he was a guest. And it would be wonderful not to sleep outside homeless for at least one night.

"I never run, man." the little redhead came up to him and lifted her chest as up close to his as she could.(Oh, and there was a little matter of where his manhood was. But she didn't think of that at all.)

Ryoga actually backed up as far as the tub allowed.

Ranma stepped into the hot tub herself. "Why do you think I'd run out on a fight?" Ryoga made room for her. She sat down, splashing herself until she became himself again.

"You didn't show up at the vacant lot where our fight was supposed to be! You didn't wait for me!"

"Wait?! I had to wait!? Wait! Now, I know who you are! You're the kid that wanted to spar with me just 'cuz I was the best martial artist he knew. We used bread as our challenge. We worked ourselves up to the final showdown. And it was in a vacant lot near your house. I waited three days for you to show up. Even though it went against the Rules of Fighting."

"Three days - But I was there on the fourth…. The Rules of Fighting?"

"Geez! Even if you are a martial artist that's had no sensei, I expected you to know the Rules! When a showdown time is set, there's always a time limit. And the guy that doesn't show up on time forfeits."

"Forfeits?" Ryoga sank into the hot tub. It was true. Without belonging to any formal school of martial arts, he didn't know the details of how to be a martial artist. He had thought all he had to be was stronger than the other guy. (And it had made him angry when Ranma had shown that wasn't enough.) But this sounded...right. "I lost? I lost three years ago? I trudged around the world and back, went to that cursed place where I lost my humanity, and...I had already lost?"

"Naw! I said I waited. The only reason I couldn't stay was 'cuz my pop decided we had to go back on our training travelin'. ' something about school fees not bein' paid, I think. Whatever. I'm ready to finish our fight." He rested his head against the wall-side of the tub and stretched out, finding room for his legs next to Ryoga. "But I'm makin' no showdown time, yet." He looked at the morose guy who hung his head over the knees he hugged. "Maybe we don't need no showdown time. We'll leave it open."

"Tha...thanks," those were hard words for Ryoga Hibiki, especially as he was saying it to, "Ranma." He admitted, "I get lost easily."

"Poor guy." But he knew not to show another guy pity.

It'd been a long time, too long, since he had had a real conversation with anybody. His loneliness wouldn't let him pass up this opportunity. "It's hereditary, I think. I haven't seen my folks in three years, maybe before that, too. - But I do see my dog often. Her name is Shirokuro, or is it Checkers?

"Anyway, it wasn't until I started fighting you…" or was it, really, sparring, practice matches that helped both of them improve their martial arts skills? "I think my problem with diretions began one of the times you kicked me in the head."

He became angry again, "You kicked me in the head!"

"And you don't think the same thing hasn't happened to me? Worse? I'm a real martial artist, not a dojo one or a competition one. I thought I told you that back in junior high?"

"Well, that was when I was too young…," his anger headed inward, "and stupid to understand."

"Yeah. I guess I was too young and stupid, too." That was as close to an apology as Ranma felt a guy should give to another guy. "Man, this hot soak was just what I needed after the day I had. It's really made me ready for bed.."

"Lucky you."

"Hey, man, I'm askin' you to sleep with me."

Ryoga lifted his head. He looked at the very male looking face. "You're not going to turn into a girl, are you?"

"Why would I wanna do that!? You like turnin' into a pig?" The hallway door was opened by a panda. "Okay, I do have a reason to turn into a girl!"

He leaped out of the hot tub and sprayed herself from the shower wand that had been left going. Thinking of the water bill, the nude girl turned the tap off, before saying to the panda, "Look, Pop! We just took a cold shower together and now we're going to sleep together!"

"I'm not going to sleep with you! You're a guy!"

"Oh, silly! We're not going to do anything! Not much, anyway *Giggle*. After all, I am engaged to be married! Just think, I'll soon be the wife of Picolet Chardin, whatever his number is."

[No son of mine is going to be the wife of anybody!] read the panda's sign.

"Oh? Do you want me to be a concubine?" Ranma-chan said all 'sweet and innocent'.

[No son of mine is going be the] [concubine of…] That next sign had been broken over the animal's thick head.

"Ryoga?" Ranma asked. She had wanted to do it!

"A panda at the Springs tried to eat me!" the nude and dripping man said.

Ranma picked up the [No son of mine is going to be the wife of anybody!] sign and gave it to Ryoga. "Hit it with this one, too."

Ryoga grabbed it. And waved at it her, "I should hit you over the head! Maybe you'd become like me and keep getting lost! It'd be karma for kneeing me into the Drowned Pig water!"

"I did that to you, too? Ooh…." There was the Something telling her she owed Ryoga a great debt. But how was she supposed to know what would happen when she did those things? The answer was, It didn't matter to the Something. It followed the well-known MacGuffin that, You are responsible for life for the life you ruin. They wouldn't be dojng the things they do if you hadn't.

But why be a hero, then?! Instead of helping, you might be hurting! Would that make her responsible for saving Furinkan from the Battle of the Sexes(!)?! The Something wasn't answering. Nobody from Furinkan was here right now. Ryoga was. Ranma had the feeling that being a hero was complicated. Like being a girl was complicated. Why did her life have to be complicated!?

"I want you to have a place to stay even more, Ryoga." The bare girl's leg went up against the bulk of the panda, keeping its claws from reaching the nude guy. "I'm kickin' you out of the bedroom! Sleep with your Tendo friend, or in the dojo, for all I care!"

And just as it shifted its attack onto her, she used its superior weight to push herself to be off and running! She ducked its claws as it passed under its raised foreleg, yanked on Ryoga, getting him, too, to go under it, and then dragged the guy out the bath room, the utility room, down the hall, and around the corner to the next hall. The panda in hot, snarling, pursuit!

"I don't run! Let me go! Let me fight!" Ryoga protested.

"You'll fight! This is a retreat! It's, You choose of the battleground!"

When she came to the still open shoji doors - did the Tendos ever close them? - she flung nude and wet Ryoga out into the cold night air.

She, then, leaped over the charging panda and kicked it outside after Ryoga.

"Hey, Pop! Beat Ryoga, and I won't sleep with him!" And, of course, that's just what the idiot did - both of them. "That'll keep him from gettin' lost.

"Now, I need to find something me and him can wear."

"That's not a problem," Kasumi said from behind her. "For Little Sister, at least. For Little Brother and his friend, that is another matter."

[][][]

Opening the door to the formal living room across from the kitchen, Ranma saw boxes after piled boxes, all with the name of the store where she had gotten this afternoon her blouse, culottes, chemise tanktop, and boxer-like panties. She didn't have to guess why the boxes were here, "Kuno."

"Yes," Kasumi smiled in sympathy. "Nabiki wants to return or sell them to raise the money she says you owe her. Something about, "Magic miracles ruining Vulcan logic"?"

"I ruined her bettin' by kissin' Akane!"

"Oh, my! That's wonderful!" Then her smiled faded. "Oh, my! You weren't Little Sister, then?"

"No. I was Romeo."

"Romeo? Romeo and Juliet is Akane's favorite play! It's one of the greatest romances!"

"I didn't do it to be romantic! I did it to save everybody at school!" And her voice lowered. "And to save my male pride."

"Does Akane know that?"

"Uh…. I guess not. Man! She's not gonna like hearin' I didn't do it mainly for her."

"Then don't tell her."

"But that wouldn't be honest!"

"Little Sister, ever since I've known you, you've been very honest and truthful. But you haven't always told the whole truth, have you?"

[][][]

In his silk tanktop and panty shorts, Ranma strode out into the Tendo yard, where the two were still fighting. Only, this time the panda was fighting a little, black pig. In the battle of strength, it was entirely one-sided. But in speed, the smaller animal had the edge. "Tunde Burin" got some good chomps on its black-and-white opponent even as he watched. Obviously, the panda's more powerful jaws had not snacked down on the pig. They were so engaged in their battle, Ranma was able to walk up to them unnoticed.

Setting down the teakettle, the brunette waited for his opportunity. And found it. He placed the iron corset where the panda could - and did! - step into it.

He then yanked the chain tight around its thick right thigh! It was too thick to shut the thigh in, but it did help to keep it off balance. Keeping both ends of the chains in his good hand, Ranma picked up the teakettle and poured hot water over his, now, Old Man.

That's when he tied the chain around his pop's thigh and knee. "I wish you weren't so fat! I want to cinch you in it like I was!"

"I'm not fat," Genma told him. Which was, technically, true. But he didn't have a six-pack.

Ranma used the chain to fling him to the ground. Continuing to pull on it, he also pressed his foot down on the pudgy belly. He had his no-good sensei under control, for now. "You're gonna to tell me about signin' me over in a betrothal contract before I was even born!"

"Oh, yes. One of those contracts." Somehow, his glasses caught a gleam and-

"I wouldn't make any moves if I were you," nude and steaming Ryoga said. "I have you covered, Ranma."

"Thanks. -Now, about that contract, Old Man!"

Ryoga's foot was by his hand. Genma was in no position to attack. He surrendered. "Which betrothal contract are we talking about?

"You don't mean you signed more 'n one!?"

"No, I don't want to go out in the cold night air! I wish to stay hiding under my covers!" Mr. Tendo sobbed.

"Oh, Father," Kasumi said. But it hadn't been her that had forced him out of the house.

"This is about arranged marriages! You know about those, don't you, Dad!" Akane yelled. "If Ranma has to marry Chardin, then she can't - I mean, HE can't marry one of us!" Her mallet had made a comeback.

"Chardin?" Genma asked himself. Somewhere in his memories, he knew the name.

"Chardin!" Soun cried, quicker to recognize the name. "That eating contest! All the food we had would have been free if only we had won it!"

"Oh, that betrothal contract," Genma said.

"We were starving! If we had, you, our children, would not have been born! It happened nearly twenty years ago."

"It sounds as if I would have been born if you had, Father," Kasumi said.

"You're right, Tendo. It was right after that that we decided to have our own betrothal contract."

"After!?" Akane and Ranma screamed. That made the Chardin contract older and more legitimate! Only by getting out of that contract could he and her (or one of her sisters) be married with honor. At the mere thought, Ranma pulled the chain even tighter.

Crre-ack. The iron corset was developing a crack! Ranma had to suddenly let go of the chain!

"Oh, my! It seems to have become rusted by tonight's rain," Kasumi noticed.

"It is an antique," Soun said. "And probably made before the methods for industrial steel was perfected."

"I'm glad Nabiki went to bed," Akane said. "What if we have to pay for breaking it?!"

"Give it to me," Kasumi volunteered. "Maybe I can find a way to make it look like new...or, rather, an antique again."

[][][]

"I don't want to wear these silk underthings!" Ryoga protested, still, even though he was already in a chemise tanktop and boxer-like panties. "They remind me of women's underthings!"

"That's because they are," Ranma told him, dressed the same as him and the same gender as him. "And how do you know what girls wear under their clothes?"

"I, I get around. Remember I said I've been around the world and back. I have!"

" ' been in backyards and seen a lot of clothes' dryin' poles, have you?"

"When I get lost, I get lost." It wasn't something he would admit to many. Not that he knew many. Or even some.

"Look, man, if I can do it, you can, too!" It wasn't something he was proud of doin', though.

"But you're a girl!" Ryoga saw the look Ranma gave him. And then the view. "Half the time."

"I wish it were half the time," he said rather glumly. "My no-good, rotten pop - You met him - registered me at school as a girl. Everybody there thinks I'm a girl."

"Why'd you agree to that!?"

"Bein' a girl's complicated. The Doc told me so. I have to be a girl or be attacked by girl emotions and impulses. The more I'm a girl, the more I can train myself to not give into them! Then I can be a girl on my own terms."

Ranma sat down on his futon, the one nearest the door. "Problem is when I'm a girl I don't got no guy brain. My girl brain has be wantin'...to be with girls, as a girl. I don't want to be a girl, just one of them. ...Do you understand?"

"No!" But Ryoga's frown did not last. "But it's better than being a pig. There's a lot of things scary and depressing about being one." He sat down on the other futon mattress. "But terrible things have happened to me even before I came to...What did you say the name of that place is?

"Jusenkyo."

"Right. Jusenkyo. But there's nothing like losing your humanity as a pig. I have, uh..." Then he found the perfect words to describe it, "emotions and impulses I don't have when I'm me."

He suddenly shifted to supporting himself with his arms extended behind him. His face developed a wistful smile. "You know, there were a few people who didn't ignore me, chase me, or try to eat me. They wanted me! It was a pet, but at least they wanted me. It wasn't half bad being a pet pig." Then he frowned again. "But then I'd got lost, again. No more Old Mr. and Mrs. Ogata. Good-by Grandma Kin. So long, Shiro, or is it Soichiro? The young widow changed the name of the dog after her husband died."

"It does sound like you have an idea about what I'm talkin' about." Ranma took the same pose beside the guy. "You're not gonna like me sayin' this, but you make bein' cursed to be a girl not seem so bad. You got it worse, cursed to be a pig."

"Yeah. A little pig, at that. If we could trade curses, I would."

"And I wouldn't." Ranma yawned. "It's way past time for sleep! Here, give me your bandana."

"My bandana?" But he did take it off.

"Hey! You got another one under that one!"

"And another under this one. And more, too, probably. Don't ask me why, but ever since I got cursed, I always have one on my head. Or my pig neck." His swing towards depression ended, when his ambition to be a true martial artist rose. "I can even make them as hard and sharp as a steel weapon!"

"Magic," Ranma said like a curse word.

"Yeah," Ryoga agreed.

Then he followed Ranma tying the bandana to his own wrist. Ranma explained, "I'm gonna tie us together. Then you can't get lost."

"Y, you'd do that for me?" Ryoga almost teared.

"Sure, man. You'd do me a favor, right? Oh, that's right! I do want you to do me a favor. Tomorrow. Before my trainin' in martial arts fine dining, I want you to help me get my own game sense of it."

" "Game sense"?"

"Oh, you haven't had a martial arts sensei, have you? Hey, I could be yours. I'm trainin' Akane, you can be my next student. The Tendos do have a dojo."

Ryoga choked. He nodded. Then finally found the voice to say, "I'll do my best."

"I know you will, man. Now, let's get some sleep. It's late and we're gonna have to be up early. I got a feelin' it's gonna be another long day, tomorrow."

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Ryoga hit Ranma. Ranma hit Ryoga. Ryoa bit Ranma. Ranma tossed Ryoga. Ryoga walked on Ranma. Ranma squashed Ryoga. ...And on it went, off and on, throughout the night. Each fought their separate dream battles, but the moves became real-life ones that had the other on the receiving end. And the only time they woke up was to shuffle clear down to the other side of the house to go to the toilet. Together, as they remained bound by the bandana.

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The large, white, Samoyed dog had adopted him as a pig. But the dog was too much of a coward to protect it from other dogs. He had several battles of survival against those. But, even so, the dog was friendly and happy to see it. Even its owner, Mrs. Otonashi, accepted it as the pet of her pet. Then it had lost them when she moved to manage a rooming house. Maybe it was called Maison Ikkuko or something like that.

Then there was the rich couple in their mansion. They had wanted to treat it as if it were a baby. Not good for his manly pride, but at least comforting. When they gave him a hot bath, he had to fight their servants and bodyguards to escape.

But his favorite "owner" was Grandma Kin. Mrs. Ono was also a widow. She had the weird habit of carrying around the shrine to her dead husband, but she was very kind and considerate towards it. It had protected her more than once from vandals and those who would steal the antique shrine to sell! Those had made it so furious thinking anybody would desecrate a shrine it had the adrenaline to defeat three at once!

And then there was the ice rink...

[][][]

Ranma was in lingerie - real ones: a bra and Kasumi-type panties! - up on the platform where everybody in school could see him! He has no manly pride! None at all! Why doesn't he just become a girl!

Akane in her Juliet costume swept him up in her arms. They kiss.

And he shrinks into the ponytailed girl. He cries at the loss of his manly pride.

How cute! How cute! Lolita is just like little Azusa now!

The little ninja tells her he knows somebody who can break the spell. It's not Kuno, is it(!)? she cries on the edge of hysterics.

Kodachi appears on the platform in her, much sexier, lingerie. Kiss me, and become a real man! All women will envy me!

Non! You are my bride, Ranma Chardin III! You have no right to kiss none but moi!

We shall have a duel, then! The winner gets Romeo!

I'll broadcast it! Mr. Toru announces it to the world.

I desire only a Ranma!

The broadcast will be labeled, Not Suitable for Children,

We have the solution! The Date Management Club says. Ranma can be the bride, Akiko says. And Romeo can be the groom, says Ikuko.

I shall make Romeo the eunuch over my harem! Kuno says. Ranma shall be MY concubine!

Little, black, pig Ryoga rescues her! Her hero!

...Sayonara my heart...
I want to feel this loneliness,
I want you back in my arms.

"Darling, just for me, can't I wait for you?...

[][][]

Ranma was suddenly jolted awake! Her arm was raised and tossed about, with her knees being dragged first this way and then her calves sliding that way. And Ryoga was screaming something.

"You promised! You promised you wouldn't become a girl!"

Ranma looked down at her chemise-covered bust. Again she felt her butt, seeming all the plumper because of her narrow waist. "Man! Get a grip! I wanna be the girl as much as you want to be the pig. Somebody did this to me!"

"It was Nabiki," Akane said on the other side of the closed door. "It had to be! Kasumi warned me Nabiki is acting extra greedy!"

"See, Ryoga?" the little redhead said, fully standing, now.

"Why would she do a thing like that?!" There was still panic in his voice.

"Uh…. Akane?"

"Blackmail. Honestly, you two are too honest for your own good!"

"Blackmail?" Then Ranma smiled. "How much will it cost me for her show them to Chardin?"

"What about me!? What about my reputation?!"

"Have you ever been in one place long enough to have a reputation?" Ranma scratched the back of her head. "Come to think of it, neither have I." Other than being a show-off jock-jerk who only knows martial arts. But with enough luck, Ranma Saotome would stay in one place, this place, Nerima and the Tendo home, for at least a year...and, maybe, many more. It was better to be a girl than the kind of guy she had been. And it was better to be a girl than a pig.

[][][]

The three of them were out by the koi pond of the Tendo yard.

"Okay, students, are you ready for your martial arts sparring?" Ranma-sensei asked. He was back to being himself. But he was still wearing the silk tanktop and panty shorts. But, then, so was Ryoga. Akane? She wore her yellow canvas do-gi.

"I don't fight girls," Ryoga insisted. "Gentlemen shouldn't fight girls."

"Then you're askin' Akane to beat the crap outta you."

"I'm not like that! I only fight when justified! When I see something wrong!"

"You see nothin' wrong with Ryoga refusin' to fight you?"

"He, he's being a gentleman,"

"Thanks, Akane."

"I remember you tryin' to beat the crap outta me when we first met when I refused to fight you."

"You were a, a girl, then. Girls can fight girls."

"Can girls fight little, black pigs?"

"Of course not! That's animal cruelty!"

"Then you'd be surprised how cruel people can be to animals," Ryoga mumbled, full of bad memories.

Ranma laced both hands behind his head. "Then you two don't want to be my students. You don't need a sensei."

They sputtered protests, looked at one another, then bowed their heads, unable to think of what to do next.

Ranma walked back and forth in front of them as if inspecting his troops.

He turned his back on them and said, "A sensei has to set an example."

With that, she jumped into the koi pond. Splash!

Out came the red-haired girl. She attacked Ryoga!

Ryoga returned the attack - And in full! Off or on were basically his only two settings. He hadn't developed much of any kind of settings in-between. Finesse was something he hadn't even dreamed of having.

His sensei showed how much use his most powerful blows were: She took them and rolled with them. When she let one connect with her so she was sent flying, she just tumbled and was back on her feet to take some more! She could have continued until he ran out of stamina, but she had more to teach him in this lesson.

She did what she had done the first time she met Akane in the dojo match. She read his moves - too easily - and dodged, ducked, jumped his fists as well as skip over his leg much sooner than she had with Akane. "Akane and me have an idea about Jusenkyo, Ryoga! It is a trainin' ground! It can prepare you to be a better martial artist! The curse ain't in what you become, but what you have to face in your different body!"

"Stand still!" His frustration was making him even more dangerous, but, too, more careless and unfocused.

"You became the opposite of your trainin' style! You got no strength as a little pig!"

"You're telling me!?"

"A martial artist has to use their game sense! You have to use what you got as a pig, just as I gotta use what I got as a girl!"

"Right! And just What have I got as a pig!?"

"Speed!" And Suddenly she was on the attack! Blow after blow after blow landed on, first, one spot inches away from vital and then another and another. And when she wasn't using her fists, she was using her feet, kicking him time and again, low, high and in the middle!

Ryoga was on the defense. Pride kept him from curling, but his hands, arms, feet, and legs moved seconds after the small girl had made her damage point! She did it so rapidly, and he responded so reactively, he set himself up for the coup de gras!

He was off balance, she wasn't! Her foot swung around in a wide arc and struck him above a kidney! He flew!

SPLASH!

"Bwee! BWEE!" Burin squealed with outrage, flying out of the water at top speed.

"There! That's what I was talkin' about!" Ranma-sensei smiled and went back to accepting hits.

It would get a hoof hit in or even two as it ricocheted off her opponent, hit the ground and leap back at her to kick its little feet against some other spot. It wasn't focused, though. It didn't care if it was getting near a vital spot or not! It was just satisfied to - finally - be doing the hitting!

But it wasn't doing any real damage. If this were a real fight, it would be counted as the loser.

"Ranma, what about me?!" Akane demanded.

"No, not now, Akane! I think I'm gettin' the game sense of how I can win the Martial Arts Fine Dining Challenge! -Ryoga! More speed!"

Ryoga did!

But it wasn't good enough for Ranma! She bent over it, so it had less distance to hurl itself. She walked it back until they got near enough to the tree. She shoved it against the tree, only a foot away, and it was practically in her face every time it shoved itself back at her!

Still not good enough for her!

Chomp!

"Hey! Why'dyou bite my nose!" She grabbed it and yelled at it. "Don'tcha know not to touch a woman's face! It's more important than her boobs!"

"It is?" Akane asked. Come to think of it… Ranma did care more about what girls thought of her than guys. -Did, did that mean, Ranma's girl brain was...bisexual(!)?!

"I oughta…." But she stopped herself from slamming Ryoga to the ground. He had anger issues. And what happened to him as a pig didn't help.

Instead, she held him in the crook of her arm (next to her boob) and thought. Speed...speed...speed… What could she do to increase her speed?

"Breakfast is ready!" Kasumi announced.

[][][]

"I didn't get any practice in!" Akane was still upset.

"I explained, Akane!" the redhead said, still in her lingerie, "I got to think of a way to win the challenge and STOP bein' a bride candidate!"

"And how are you going to do that, Saotome?" the still upset Nabiki asked. "From what I've been told, if you can win the challenge from this woman who's an expert at Fine Dining, she will definitely want you to be her pet student's wife." And she found harsh amusement in adding, "And then you can be the mother of their large family of big, baby eaters!"

Ranma shuddered at this thought. But it didn't shake her confidence. "All I gotta do is win by NOT using the techniques of their school! I'm settin' myself up as a rival school!"

Nabiki blinked. "That just might work."

"But, Ranma, if, I mean, when you do develop different techniques, won't they want you even more!" Akane said, concerned for her friend, now. "You'll become their sensei!"

Ranma smiled and shook her head. "Naw! It won't happen. You saw how much tradition means to them! Geez! They're even wearin' uncomfortable clothes that are centuries old! They insist everybody eat with the right spoon! They have a long list of etiquette rules and don'ts that must be followed or get you punished! No freakin' way are they gonna want to learn techniques that go against their tradition!"

"As much as I hate to say it, I think Ranma's right," Nabiki said. She sighed, "So much for getting a commission for investing for the economically elite and using them to network further up the financial ladder." Feeling half-defeated (She never admitted total defeated), she tossed her photo onto the table in front of her. It was one of the redhead and Ryoga in the middle of a nightmare battle but it could be interpreted by dirty minds as something else.

"At least I still have Kuno-baby," she smiled.

"I passed your no account father of yours, Ranma. He was fighting another man," Ryoga said, coming in from his trip to the furo hot tub.

"Daddy's actually fighting?" Nabiki said. Would the surprises never end?!

"Remember, it's Uncle Genma," Kasumi said. "They were sparring partners in their martial arts student days."

"They're being very quiet about it," Akane said, suspicious.

"I heard something about a doctor," Ryoga said.

"Yeah!" Ranma smiled. "Talk about techniques! When the Doc came and got Pop, yesterday-" Ranma stopped.

Ranma blinked. Akane wondered why Ranma was blinking. She looked at Ryoga. She blinked.

"Oh, my," Kasumi said. "I don't remember having any laundry like that."

Ryoga was wearing very rough, but touch and durable clothes that were basically yellow and dark brown.

Seeing where everybody (but Nabiki) was staring, he wondered if his usual traveling clothes had an embarrassing tear or something in it.

"Why is everybody looking at him that way?" Nabiki asked. Using her gift for intelligence, she tried to see what the others were seeing. Something about the clothes. Hmm. "I like them better than the lingerie I saw you wearing," she said, gesturing to the photo.

"Me, too! And guess what!? I found my travel pack! I thought it was far away! Way past where Ranma found me as the pig. I had changed right after I got lost from that guy who was chasing me with his wooden sword."

"That was you(!)?!" Akane blushed at the story of how Kuno found a naked man with just a bandana over his...uh, privates.

"Right," Ranma shook her head. "That's why Burin couldn't find the ladies' room and ended up in the men's room."

"Actually," it was Ryoga's turn to blush. "I wanted to go into the men's room. That's where I changed. If I had really gotten lost, I would have ended up where…. Ranma! You were in the ladies room!"

"Get a clue, Ryoga!"

And that was the end of the blinking. Only Nabiki seemed to think it was para-normal that clothes that should have been lost to the pig-boy forever were sudden, mysteriously - Magically! - returned to him.

"SON!"

And thinking of clothes disappearing and then returning...No, more!...Clothes that should have been torn when a large man became instantly transformed into an even larger panda…

From down the hall that led from the bath room, toilet and Mr. Tendo's own room came Ranma's Old huMan. He rolled into the common area, stood up, then struggled to keep from bending over and risk becoming a human ball again.

Genma, no! I beg of you!" said his friend, Soun, who was also rolling in.

Genma ignored him. "As you can see, the Anything-Goes School has learned Dr. Tofu's techniques! It's time I taught them to you!"