An unusual disclaimer: Ranma ½ is a trademark of Rumiko Takahashi and VIZ Communications, and its characters have been borrowed without permission. And Son Turned Daughter was originally written way back in 2002 by the FanFiction author Tangent, and his characters Megumi, Yasushi and Ayane have, likewise, been borrowed without permission. Please see the first two chapters of this story under his pen name. This story is written for non-commercial purposes only.
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"Ranma use Female Flower of Love?" Shampoo smiled.
"You're not, are you?" Akane frowned.
"Maybe," the redhead said, looking at the flower in the pot she was holding. "Shampoo, you think this flower's like the one that made Pop weak? You said he wouldn't stay that way."
"Is true. Shampoo know smell of flower only good little time. Must smell again. Know womans who wear in hair. Flower send root into head. Womans always love being womans, then."
"The Doc said not to put in my hair," Ranma nodded. Her confidence wavered with, "Or smell it." She set the pot down before her on the futon, again.
"Ranma, you don't need that flower to get you through your period!" Akane told her. "Woman do it all the time!"
"This isn't about that!" Ranma frowned at the suggestion. "This is about messin' up Kodachi's plans for her flowers. It's gotta involve me! You saw how she was when she saw me! She threatened me!"
"And Shampoo, too! Shampoo help!"
"This all started when you stopped her from robbing women's sexiness from them at the women's apparel shop! Other women are in danger, too! I'm helping, too, Ranma! I am a martial artist!" Akane said. "This is my chance to do something for what she did to me in first grade! Kodachi kissed me and ruined my life!"
"Bwee! Bwee!" Burin-chan also volunteered.
"You sure, Akane? It means bein' girl-nice to Kuno, her brother."
"What!? Why do I, we, have to do that(!)?!"
"How else are we gonna get inside her house?"
"Break inside!" Shampoo had no problem with that. Both Ranma and Akane remembered how she had broken the fortress-like front gates and smashed the front door of the Tendo house.
"Then what? Maybe we can beat off an army of servants…." Ranma looked at Akane.
"I'm not sure. I've only seen that little ninja of his," Akane said. "They could be kuroko-servants like Asuka's." There was a name to add to her anger. It was because of her Kodachi had kissed her!
"Then we could be handicapped. Only Shampoo would see them. Bein' from China, she hasn't seen Japanese shows with them in them, right?
"Or the Kuno servants might all be better ninjas than Sasuke and have the skills to keep from bein' seen and heard."
"Shampoo see Shampoo need learn more before break in Kuno house."
"Right. And we will learn more if we're invited in!"
"By Kuno," Akane hated the idea. But she had no better one.
"More important, we can then work on gettin' Kuno to show us where his sister might be keepin' the flowers!"
"Is true! Even if win against army of servant, Ranma and Shampoo no know where find flowers!"
"Hey! Don't forget me! And you met Kuno today! He can be a lot worse! Can you be nice to him when he insists on fighting you and won't take No for an answer(!)?!"
"She's right, Shampoo! Don't none of you come if you don't think you can keep from beatin' him up! After we take care of Kodachi's flowers, okay. But not before!"
Ranma picked up the flowerpot, once more. Now that she had brought herself that much closer to being nice to the guy, she shuddered. "That's why I gotta use this flower. I don't think I can be "nice" to no guy that way. It makes me wanna puke. Especially, if it's Kuno.
"I keep tellin' myself I gotta act all girly girl to him 'cuz he don't like that kinda girl. But I keep messin' up and actin' like me! I'm a tomboy to him and that's what he likes."
"I'm not a tomboy!" Akane said defensively. "And what about her!"
"What "tomboy"?" the amazon asked.
"Maybe we all better take a smell of the flower."
Ranma set the flowerpot safely aside. "We better get our sleep."
But she couldn't. She laid on her back, thinking about the flower. She was playing with fire and she knew it. On the hopeful side, this could speed up her adjustment time. She would get a clear and definite idea of what she was like being a girl able to ignore what her guy conditioning, habits and memories wanted. She would know what she was dealing with when she became her guy-self again.
On the less than hopeful side, she might find she liked being a girl better than being her guy-self. She could wind up trying to ignore her born-self all the time!
Then, again, it might not be her choice. What if Shampoo was wrong?! What if the magic kept her wanting to be a girl?! What if she became cured and never had to turn into the redhead? He would be cursed to only want to be a girl. What if that was the curse itself?! That's right! The Jusenkyo guide never did say how long the curses lasted!
"I wish I knew if Pop was over his flower makin' him weak," she said out loud. "Do you think he and Mom'll be back early tomorrow?"
"Ranma no know what father-mother do at love motel(!)?!" Shampoo said incredulously.
"A love motel!?" Akane cried. Now there was a mental picture she didn't want! And she thought Ranma shouldn't have it, either! "Don't even think about it!."
"Is true! Shampoo remember mother of Ranma say no have messy-together time for ten year. No return early!"
"Ranma, remember how your mom expects you to be manly! You don't want her here when you've used that flower," Akane said.
That didn't help the redhead.
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Burin-chan, as Ryoga, had slept next to Akane yesterday night and Ranma the night before that. Of the two, he would have chosen Ranma, even as a redhead, over Akane. They both battled in their sleep, but Akane was much more aggressive.
But it was Shampoo who started the match off. The little, black pig as pretty sure she was asleep. Her eyes were closed and her mouth was open, softly snoring on her back.
Then she rolled onto her side. The side the Ranma was on. And her arm casually wrapped itself around the redhead. She snuggled closer and her mouth breathed near the pigtailed girl's neck and ear.
From the other side of Ranma, the sleeping Akane struck Shampoo's shoulder with enough force to roll her away from the redhead.
But Shampoo's hand held onto the redhead's pelvis and began rolling Ranma towards her.
Akane took Ranma's arm and did a jujitsu throw that sent the redhead over her and thudding onto the floor on the other side of her. Both seemed not to wake.
Shampoo rolled, again, and threw Akane, Now the amazon was in the long-haired girl's futon next to the redhead still asleep on the floor.
Akane's leg kicked while, twisting her torso, her hand chopped!
With her back to the long-haired girl, amazon counter-kicked and blocked the blow!
She then brought her elbow to strike Akane.
Akane's arm snaked around to the inside of Shampoo's arm and used it to throw the the purple-haired girl. But in the awkward position she was in, she wasn't able to get her over her body.
Then both of them wrestled, with Shampoo being more indiscriminate than Akane, but dojo daughter being more forceful! Akane never allowed the amazon to pin her, while Shampoo showed she could absorb blows even in her sleep.
Back and forth they rolled on the four futons laid out on the common room floor, first, one being nearer the pigtailed girl, then the other. They both would stop and lay on whatever futon each was on when they left their REM states. Only to begin all over again when at least one of them had another dream. They even woke up at the same time to go to the toilet. Neither moved from the futons until they came to a silent agreement. It didn't take long for them to reach a truce. But the battle began again when they again dreamed.
Burin-chan saw that each girl was so intent on the other girl they left the redhead to sleep 'peacefully' on the floor. The little pig decided that was the safest place to be.
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The black-haired boy sat up from the floor almost screaming!
He was glad when his nightmare faded from his memory. Something about a giant, Demons' Own Flower with a wooden sword taking away his manhood! It had been very bloody.
Looking around he saw Ryoga, not the pig, sleeping on the floor next to him.
On the futons-side of him, he mainly saw Shampoo's head. She was underneath the common room table. It was on top of her, with one of its legs still in Akane's hand. To him it was obvious that his long-haired friend had clobbered the amazon with it in the middle of the night. (Was she when she got the table back from the living room?) Yet, both were sleeping soundly.
Or they were until Shampoo's trained senses noticed he was awake. "Ranma!" she smiled her good-morning. And she rose up from beneath the table.
Ranma saw that Nabiki's pajama top was torn, and, for a brief moment, he saw one of her boobs.
"I said, No!" Akane screamed, waking up in time to slam the tabletop up against more than just that boob. Censored!
"Is because of Loud, rough girl Shampoo look this way! Shampoo say stupid sleep-clothes get in way!"
Akane looked around the table. "You broke the elastic of my pj's!"
"Shampoo like sleep nude."
"Don't you get cold?" Nabiki said with a toothbrush in her mouth. "Your village is up in the mountains, isn't it?"
"Shampoo know Secret of Body Heat" she smiled at her.
Nabiki didn't smile back. "You owe me for my pajamas. 3,000 yen. And, no, I will not take it in "Body Heat" if that means what my dirty mind thinks it means."
"Here, Shampoo. I brought you a robe," Kasumi said, coming in with her own. Of all the Tendos, she was the one that had a bust closest in size to Ranma's and Shampoo's. But she was also the tallest of them all the girls in the house. Her pajamas would have been best for the amazon, but Big Sister wore nightgowns. And that was something Akane didn't want Ranma to see the big-busted bimbo in.
It had been all too much for Ryoga! He had fled and gotten lost.
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"Shampoo have flower!" And the amazon in the robe brought it over to Ranma. "Flower open soon with morning sun!"
"Man! It seemed a better idea when I was a girl."
"Then don't smell it!" Akane told her.
"Why don't you smell it," Nabiki said to the warrior chick.
"Shampoo will!" And she started caressing and coaxing the closed flower. "Open, open, little flower. Let Shampoo smell…."
The others leaned a little closer as they watched. Then drew back as it did open,
All but one. And that was the one Shampoo pushed the flower towards!
"Hey!" Akane cried as the filaments of the flower reached out and grabbed her nose! A very familiar smell was puffed past the nostrils they held open. And this time, she found it a pleasant perfume.
It wasn't until she smiled that the Female Flower of Love let go. "A little pushy for a flower," Akane said, rubbing the stickum from her nose. "But beautiful." And she accepted it when Shampoo gave it to her.
"Akane?" Ranma asked, curious, and anxious for himself.
"Yes, Ranma? Oh, you're a guy, now." Suddenly, she realized, with a slight blush. "And I'm still in my sleepwear! I really should get dressed!" And she got up with the flowerpot and headed out the door.
They heard her get halfway down the hall before she said, "Why do I have to go to my room. I have perfectly good clothes in the living room! And more feminine ones, too!"
"Well, I never thought I'd see the day when Little Sis got good taste," Nabiki said, "Her own clothes are too young for a teenager."
"Am I gonna be like that if I smell the flower?" Ranma asked.
"If that how Ranma see being girl," Shampoo said. "Ranma be like own idea of what womans is."
"I'll become like what Pop's taught me what girls are like!" he said to his horror!
"Is no girl you like who like that?"
"Breakfast will be ready soon. You had all better hurry and dress," Kasumi said.
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"Okay, I'm as ready as I'm ever gonna be," Ranma said as if standing before a firing squad. "Splash me, Kasumi."
"Me? Alright, if that's what you want me to do, Ranma." And she took the glass and dribbled water over the boy's head.
"Thanks, Big Sis," the pigtailed girl said. "I'll be thinkin', I mean, thinking of you the whole time I love being a girl. I hope."
"I have the makeup case," Nabiki told her returning from her room. "Remember what you promised. This is on top of what you owe me for my taking pictures of you in that maid's outfit and my showing you my Distraction Technique and for making me lose all that money by forcing a draw in the Furinkan High Battle of the Sexes!"
"Oh, my, I believe the pictures you took of Ranma as a maid is the payment, Nabiki," Kasumi said. "And is it right for Ranma to pay for your gambling losses?" Kasumi said, caming to her other Little Sister's defense. "I don't know what this "Distraction Technique"."
"It was a trick!" the redhead said. "I thought I was payin' for something else!"
"I warned you, Saotome, didn't I? You gave your word of honor that I could take pictures of you no matter how embarrassing you found them."
Ranma bowed her head, acknowledging at least that debt, too. The Something said she should.
But to Big Sis, she smiled, "Thank you, Kasumi. You showed me just what I needed to see from you."
"I know, Ranma," she smiled.
"Okay, get dressed, first!" said Nabiki.
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They found Akane still in the living room. The boxes and the things in there were thrown everywhere. "I can't find any!"
"See, Ranma?" Nabiki said. "Being a neat and tidy housewife is not part of Akane's idea of being a woman."
Ranma groaned. "But it will be mine."
"Look!" The girl in the mostly yellow dress held up two shoes of two different colors. "This is the only kind of shoes they sent us! Platforms! They're clunky!"
"I like platforms." The little redhead saw the way Nabiki looked at her and said, "They make me taller!"
"Where flower?" Shampoo asked.
"Oh, it's in here, somewhere!" Akane went back to opening the last of the boxes. She just waved and said, "Maybe under that pile, over there."
After some digging, Shampoo found it. "Loud, rough girl bend flower! Ranma! Come smell before stem break!"
Ranma marshaled up her courage. And couldn't move. She knew all the good reasons she should. But she did not feel the reasons were good.
Shampoo shoved the flower under her nose.
Again the thin, little 'arms' inside the flower grabbed a nose. Again, a quite feminine 'perfume' was released into her nose.
And Ranma felt feminine. Suddenly she noticed how many different colors there were in the world. But there seemed to be less detail. One color wanted to shade into another like those on a rainbow. "The flower's so beautiful! It's more than just pink, there's...well, I don't have the words for them."
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Ranma had on culottes that were a lighter green than the top. She also wore a yellow scarf and a gold brooch that Kasumi had loaned her. As far as shoes went, though, "Platforms are clunky."
"No dress for Shampoo! Shampoo wear own clothes."
The thorough and dedicated housewife that she was, Kasumi had already handwashed her guest's Chinese, silk pants, and top. She was an example. But not to her born-sisters.
"Now, for your makeup! Kasumi, you help Akane," Nabiki said. "Remember, this is for a Daytime "Date".
It took Kasumi's gentle skills for Akane to give up on applying the makeup herself.
"Ranma, sit still while I apply the primer. After that comes the foundation."
Shampoo looked at the number of things inside the large makeup case. She even saw the chart that showed the different the complexions of the woman with instructions on how to blend the different colors to achieve a match.
She wasn't fascinated. "Too much. Too complicated. Shampoo have own Secret of Beauty!"
"I'm sure you have, amazon girl. Have you brought any of your ancient beauty products with you?" Nabiki said, more interested in the redhead's face.
"Shampoo have Secret of Dark Magic for lipstick and perfume."
"So, the Secret is to Pinch your cheeks, Pout your lips, Flare your nostrils and Keep your eyes wide?"
"No forget cross eyes little."
"What?" Ranma was startled.
"Oh, yeah! Reminds me of that alien cartoon chick, Lum," Nabiki said. "I'm sure it was to down-play how smart she really was, what with all those super-tech gizmos she had." She glanced up at Shampoo. "You do remind me of her." And she turned back to her work. "Without the gizmos. And maybe without - Oh, a smudge."
"Shampoo have 3,000 year of Chinese techniques! Shampoo show Secret of Beauty!"
The redhead put her hand on Nabiki's arm, stopping her from continuing. Ranma couldn't resist studying any technique.
Shampoo's battle aura lit up as it became more than potential. It became the empty vessel, ready to contain her ki. But that energy had to be shaped by her emotions. "Shampoo now feel beautiful! Have confidence in how Beautiful Shampoo is! Shampoo compete with other girls! Shampoo win battle! No girl more beautiful than Shampoo!"
Ranma felt it, too! Shampoo was radiating it past the boundary of her aura!
But the real secret was how the ki energy was changing the lens of the aura people would see her through! All of her best features were highlighted, even given a shimmer and shine, while her lesser ones were more matted with less detail. What was most striking, though, were how her violet eyes sparkled! There was glitter in them!"
Ranma stood up, "I am going to learn that technique! It's better than makeup!"
"Don't wipe it off!" Nabiki ordered. "How long do you think it's going to take you to learn how to do that?!"
"I'm Ranma…." she looked at Kasumi.
She sighed and sat down. Big Sis had no problem with makeup. Girls, lots and lots of girls, anyway, wore it all the time, so they must not have a problem with it. Probably because it made them more feminine. It must be like was something you had to be a girl to understand. But did she understand? The flower was supposed to be giving her that understanding!
"Oh, well. I love being a girl, so I have to just love wearing what a girl wears!"
"Let Shampoo be the most beautiful!" Akane snorted. "Better her and Kuno, than us!"
"Akane, it's as I told you, Kuno prefers tomboys. That's why we have to be all beautiful for him." Ranma said it, but she didn't think Akane would get it. For all her friend's good qualities, being able to face a reality she didn't want wasn't one of them. Well, at least while she loved being a womanly girl, she shouldn't be a tomboy.
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Shampoo had toned down her Secret of Beauty Technique to save her food energy. They still hadn't had breakfast.
Ranma's own stomach growled. "How much longer, may I ask?"
"Not long," Nabiki said. "I would be putting on your lip liner and gloss, but it's just going to have to be touched up again after you've eaten. I'll do your eyes, now.
"Hmm. You have tattoos for eyelid shadow."
"Shampoo has tattoo there, too! Shampoo have pink, show belong tribe of warrior women! Blue tattoo for womans of tribe of Musk. No let no one think two different womans belong to other tribe!"
"Musk?" Ranma looked in the makeup mirror. "The girl this body originally belonged to was a Musk? I thought you said she was a Tocharian."
Nabiki took the mirror away and made her follow her silent directions as she applied the brow liner, eyeliner, and mascara.
"Maybe woman of Musk. Maybe no. One time eye tattoo more common. Tocharian even paint body of Tocharian blue.
"No, maybe no girl of Musk! Shampoo remember Musk use Female Flower of Love and make hunted, captured beasts love being made womans by Jusenkyo spring. Tell Shampoo, Ranma ever feel like roaring, growling, barking, winneying?"
" "Winneying"? Only my name is Wild Horse, Shampoo," the redhead smiled.
"Shampoo wait, see. See no sign, yet, girl Musk. Maybe another human fall in Spring of Drowned Young Girl before Ranma."
" "Other human"?" Ranma couldn't shake her head because Nabiki wouldn't let her. "This is the wrong time for this, Shampoo. We need to think about stopping Kodachi from using her flowers. She may be wanting to do with them what the Musk did with them."
"Aiya! Musk enemy of tribe of warrior womans! Shampoo stop!"
"There! No thanks to your talking, I'm finished with your eyes, Ranma," Nabiki said. "You can eat. But be careful not to smear or smudge it!"
"Alright, Nabiki." But Ranma wanted to do just that! It would take some time before she learned to tolerate it. She was pretty sure she could learn Shampoo's technique before she could learn that.
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"Oh, we're going to be late," the pigtailed girl fretted, clopping along on her platform shoes.
"That's good news," Akane said, in her own heels. "It means the others will be in class and, hopefully, will not see us like this. Honestly! We didn't even have time to do our hair properly!"
"Remember, have find flower of Kodachi before smell of broken flower go away!" Shampoo said.
"And when is that going to be?!" Akane asked.
"In village, womans have smell three, four, five time in one day. All about how much womans love being woman before smell flower!"
"Oh, great! It could be wearing off of me already," Ranma fretted again. "We had better hurry!"
"Hey!" Akane cried as she was picked up carried through the streets at top speed by the redhead.
"You know you're getting all sweaty! The makeup will be ruined!"
"Oh, you're right, Akane! Here, Shampoo, catch!"
"HEY!"
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Ranma caught up with Shampoo and Akane at the last corner before the street that led to the school gates. "Kuno's still there!" Akane told her.
"Alright, then, this is it. Remember, act like ladies. His sister acts like a lady. Except when she's being insane. Or maybe when she is acting insane. Why do Japanese noblewomen have to do that annoying laugh?"
"Shampoo no know how lady act. Shampoo act like elder."
Shampoo walked the last block as if she had her sights on a male prey. Akane did an exaggerated wiggle of her hips. The redhead, with Kasumi as her role model, was the only one to come close to walking like a lady (or an elder). But she knew that was an act. There was an internal struggle between the woman her Old Man thought she was becoming and the cutie she was capable of being. Which one would win the contest? Modifying the sexist-cliches her pop had instilled in her could be made tolerable when modified by Bid Sister's example. But there was nothing of Kasumi in the minx.
"Ah, three Goddesses of the Morning Light come to greet me!" Kuno smiled. He brought up his bokken. "I would best the best - A date is well worth any challenge!"
"A date!? I'll give you…." Akane fought to restrain herself from giving the idiot her usual reply.
"Oh, yes, Kuno-san…-samma. We'll date with you," Ranma said.
"Shampoo, too!"
This was something Kuno hadn't expected. His wooden sword remained raised while he failed to comprehend what had just happened. "Should we not battle, first? That does seem the established course of events."
"Oh, no, Kuno-sama! You won when you went on my and Akane's double date! Since you were the only one who didn't have a date, it's only fair we give you your own date!" It was a Kasumi-type of answer with a Kuno logic.
"Shampoo no date man before. Japanese man show Chinese girl what date like?"
The sword was raised, again. It went over his shoulder as a proud gesture. "I, of course, knew I would be victorious in my endeavors to win the Goddess of the Hunt, Akane, and the Goddess of Ardor, Ranma, and, now, uh…."
"Chinese goddess Feng Popo," Shampoo laughed at her joke, knowing she was really Jiutian Xuannü, the goddess of war, sexuality, and longevity. The other one was a crone who rode a tiger on the wind. She would slip through his fingers like the wind or sic the tiger on him. Her choice.
"A divine addition to my pantheon, I am sure.
"Now! While we attend our classes, I shall have my manservant attend to the details for our date afterward."
"Oh, Kuno-sama, can't we have our date with you now? We really can't wait." Definitely true, the effects of the flower could wear off at any time!
"Yes, we want to get this over with as soon as possible," Akane said.
"Shampoo no go school. Shampoo be alone."
"A fair and exotic maiden such as yourself should never be lonely! Then, it shall be! Sasuke!"
"Yes, Master?" the short ninja said, appearing from where he had been hiding.
"Shampoo see blur."
"Oh, Shampoo! Sasuke is a wonderful ninja. Kuno should be grateful he has such a faithful one as him," Ranma said.
"I am touched!" Sasuke said with a tear in his voice. Then he became filled with resolve, "I shall see that your date is of the highest quality! Just tell me your wishes and I shall use all my abilities to see that they are fulfilled!
"Though I do not believe we will be welcomed back to la Belle France restaurant again. Master Kuno, may I tell you now what happened Sunday at the Battle of Fine Dining?"
"No. I still do not understand how you could indenture yourself to that man who names himself the Headmaster! No doubt it was under orders from my wayward-inducing sister."
"I do serve more than one master," Sasuke said anxiously, looking at the others.
"Well, we commence! The limousine, chauffeur!"
"Oh, my! It is still impounded. There's a little matter of a fine to pay."
"Oh, Kuno-sama, we've already been on that kind of a date. -And I do thank you for all the money you spent. You've shown yourself to be more than generous."
"What she said," said Akane.
"We don't want to take any more of your money. We would like an informal date. You know, where we get to know the…" ugh! "Man."
"What she said."
"Stickman show inside of house?"
"A date in which we withdraw unto one of respective residences(!)? A date where we carry over the threshold the prospect of, mayhap, intimacy(!)?"
His smile became more cocky. "After being treated to but one afternoon and evening with Lord Kuno, My Ladies-in-Waiting intend to return the treat by sampling the delights of haremhood."
" "Harem-hood"? Is that even a word?" Ranma asked.
"It is the group form of "womanhood"."
"It is not!" Akane yelled.
Ranma's hand went over her mouth. "Don't let the Flower of Love fade." And she whispered, "Do you want to show I love being a woman more than you?"
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It was a long walk and along its entire length, the three girls had to be charming for Kuno. The longer this went on, the more Ranma knew that she would not have made it without the flower. Kuno kept proving how unattractive he was as a boyfriend or husband.
"...despite the fact that Furinkan High School is a non-profit organization under the auspices of the Kuno-clan group of corporations, I, Tatewaki, receive top grades.
"But my greater pride at our alma mater is reserved for the numerous kendo trophies and championships I have captained!
"For I am the undefeated captain of our school's kendo club. The rising new star of the high school fencing world! The sound of my voice strikes fear into the hearts of my enemies! My peers call me...the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!
Ranma half-expected there to be there to be a lightning bolt. Oh, look, there are electrical power lines overhead. Oh, no, she mustn't think like that. Kasumi wouldn't. Would she?
"Please, tell us more."
"Ranma crazy(!)?!" Shampoo whispered.
"It's better he talk than we having to talk to him.
"So, Kuno-sama. How did the Kunos become the Lords of Nerima?"
"Ah, yes! The Kuno lineage. Our roots are ancient and deep. My ancestor was first ennobled under Emperor Meiji Tenno!"
"You mean your family started out as kuge(!)?!" Akane cried, incredulously. His family was middle-class bourgeois bureaucrats without any claim to nobility before 1869? And, then, had a higher status than the samurai themselves?
"The Kunos are samurai. An ancestor or two before the Meiji Restoration left the path of the warrior and it was only through my direct ancestor Michi that we returned to the Way of the Warrior, Budo! From the last heir of a dishonorably destitute samurai family, he bought the title and rights of the Kuno clan."
"Kuno wasn't the name of-" Akane was silence by, again, Ranma's hand over her mouth.
"Oh, do continue, Kuno-sama."
"And I shall. Michi greatest attainment was aiding those who wished to study abroad during that heroic time when Japan was transformed from a medieval, feudal state to become like the other great nations of the world, Westernized and…"
Meanwhile, Akane muttered on about how the Kunos only got to where they were by a history of red tape and bribery. She doubted even Nabiki could make herself legally samurai and get away with it.
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It had been a long, long walk. When they got to the place where they would normally head north for the Tendos, they went south-west. And, then, they had to walk twice as far. And all the while, Ranma was helping the egotistical, blowhard Kuno dig his own grave by flapping his lips.
They, at last, came to a more fortress-like wall than the Tendos', this one running the length of several blocks.
"Sasuke!"
"Yes, Master!" he answered, leaping on top of the wall. "I shall disable the defenses, at once!" And he disappeared behind the wall.
The Twang of bows and the Whizz of arrows could be heard!
And a Rip!
"And I had just mended my ninja-ga from letting Mistress Kodachi in, last night," they heard him sigh.
The next sound was the sound of large, gears that needed oiling that occurred just as the heavy gate began to open slowly.
"Welcome to Chez Kuno!" its Lord and Master said, gesturing for the ladies to enter.
But the gate was still slowly opening. "...Or Château Kuno, if you will. More than a castle or a mansion, but rather both."
"Oh, you mean Shiro," Ranma smiled, finding the Japanese word less pretentious.
"I wouldn't call it that," Sasuke said, now pushing against the gate in an effort to speed it up. "Shiro can also mean "innocent or benign". The Kuno Maison is hardly that!"
"Doesn't also mean "blank"?" Akane said. "It sounds like a perfect word to go with "Kuno"."
"Ah, but "château" can also mean "chaste", which, as a true gentleman, I endeavor to be."
Seeing that the gate was open, now, he resumed his gesture to the ladies, "The word also means "chat". Shall we?"
[][][]
"Sasuke, is my sister, Kodachi, within our walls at the present?"
"I am sorry to say I do not know, Master. It is a school day at St. Bacchus High. But she showed a more than usual interest in the plants she bought yesterday at the Trade Show of Dangerous and Cursed Plants."
" "Dangerous and Cursed Plants!" Well, go, man, to the interior monitoring stations and ascertain her whereabouts!"
"But, Master, I haven't disabled all of the-"
"I said Go!"
"Yes, Master!" And in a blur, he was gone.
"Kuno, we don't want Kodachi to have her "Dangerous and-" But Ranma was interrupted!
"No! Do not step on the white flagstones of the entrance path! They alert those inside of the presence of outsiders! Keep to the dark stones only!"
"Shampoo see red stones, too."
"If you value your life, do not step on those, as well!"
"Shampoo no step on white, red stones. Shampoo learn fast!" It was a good idea not to assault the stickboy's homeground.
"Around this way! That is a false entrance. If you avoid the trapdoor beneath the welcome mat, there is the prison cell that awaits behind the door, where you may trigger the release of poison gas."
Around a nearby corner, they came to a side of the house with no windows, or, it seemed, doors. "This is my own private entrance. Even my sister may not avail herself of it." And he thrust his bokken rapidly and repeatedly into a large, leafy bush.
The bush moved aside to reveal the door behind it.
"As you Ladies-in-Waiting have witnessed, it takes great skill with the sword to use this portal," he said smugly, sliding the door open the door.
Out came a battering ram, knocking him yards back into a pond.
It wasn't a koi pond. "Piranha!" he cried, leaping back out, his clothes and himself chewed, and striking away with his chewed up wooden sword those fish who refused to stay in the water.
One refused to let go of his sword hand. Kuno frowned at it. "It would be you, Tick-Tock." And he hit it with his sword hilt until it let go and fell back into the pond.
"Oh, my! You name them?" Ranma asked.
"My sister did. This is her favorite piranha. She named it after the crocodile in Peter Pan. Her favorite creatures are crocodiles. Fitting."
He reached into his kendo-gi and took from a secret pocket a length of bandage. He wrapped his hand. "Where is Sasuke, when I have need of him?
"But it is but a scratch. A Man Of Valor And Achievements On The Field Of Glory expects wounds. I shall be healed ere long."
[][][]
The three girls were alert for any other traps waiting to be triggered.
"This is my own private wing of this maison. I have, of course, others in the Kuno complex. Some of ancient construction, some of a more modern date. Each with their own separate courtyards. The variety is there to reflect my current mood and whim."
"Oh, I see. Does Kodachi have her own separate houses?" Ranma asked.
"Where would the economy be in that, My Goddess? We share the same domiciles, as any good siblings under the age of legal consent are obligated by morality and custom."
"Can you tell us where her greenhouse is?" Akane asked.
"Where Annoying girl keep flowers?!" Shampoo demanded.
"In due time, My Ladies-Soon-Not-to-Be-Waiting. In due time. First, Sasuke must send back his report to his general.
"In the meantime, let me make you more comfortable." And he stepped on a certain tatami mat.
And the others opened up beneath the girls!
