An unusual disclaimer: Ranma ½ is a trademark of Rumiko Takahashi and VIZ Communications, and its characters have been borrowed without permission. And Son Turned Daughter was originally written way back in 2002 by the FanFiction author Tangent, and his characters Megumi, Yasushi and Ayane have, likewise, been borrowed without permission. Please see the first two chapters of this story under his pen name. This story is written for non-commercial purposes only.

[][][] [][][] [][][]

St. Bacchus or St. Hebereke? Hebereke or Hebe-reke? Read the story and then the note at the bottom.

[][][] [][][] [][][]

Down they fell. And fell. Ranma trusted Shampoo to know how to land from the drop. The roof-leaper gathered Akane in her arms and prepared to redirect the force of both their impacts.

At last, there came a light at the end of their chute. After two stories, they fell through the ceiling into the third. Their training proved awkward as they didn't land on any hard surface. They landed in a hillside of cushions. The hillside became an avalanche of cushions, tumbling them further into the room. No sooner would the martial artists gain some control over what their bodies were doing than they would be hit by cushions bouncing off the walls. They had to fight to stay on top of the cushions!

"Oh, my!" Ranma said, trying to still imitate Kasumi. Trying. This stress was driving the effects of the Female Flower of Love out of her system. Or so she thought.

" "Oh, my""? Is that all you can say!?" Akane nearly screamed as she struggled to keep her head above the moving cushions while punching away any that were sent near her.

"This remind Shampoo of terrible Great Pillow Fight all little warrior girl must win before real training begin!" From the look on her face, it wasn't a good memory.

Looking for a way out, Ranma had to notice the giant portrait on a wall. "Even without Kuno, we have Kuno."

Suddenly, the picture and frame was lowered like a drawbridge and down slid the fake genuine heir to the samurais, his wooden sword in his hands. "Now that you Ladies-in-Waiting are more comfortable, we can commence with the chat that I, Lord of the Chateau, promised."

Akane's answer was to punch two cushions at him.

His sword easily moved them left and right of him. "This is one of my training rooms," he bragged.

Suddenly, more cushions came from the chute above his head. Automatically his sword went into action even as he commanded, "Not now, Sasuke! Not now!"

The sounds of huge cogwheels moving were followed by the room itself moving.

And the cushions became a landslide again!

"This isn't water!" Akane cried. "I shouldn't feel like I'm drowning!" Where before she had had trouble staying on top of the pile of cushions, she now was faced with them putting her beneath them! Nothing stayed solid beneath her that she could use to keep herself up. Only her powerful arms and legs kept her from being buried. But it was like she was digging a hole for herself! Sooner rather than later the well of cushions would collapse around her!

Ranma saw and battled, along with those tumbling, the barrage of cushions her long-haired friend was sending out. The redhead had just about reached her when she was hit by a wallop to the face.

A new emotion had been added its power to Akane's flailing, "My makeup! These rotten things ruined my makeup!"

Ranma's own makeup was left on the cushion that fell from her face.

But Ranma reached Akane. Holding her, she applied mid-air techniques to leap from one unstable cushion to the next she happened upon.

"Sasuke! You master orders you to stop the mechanism!" Kuno continued to command.

"The lever is stuck, Master Kuno!" came the reply. "I have said that you should have a maintenance staff to keep the defenses and offenses in good repair!"

"No excuses, man!"

"Yes, Master!"

Ranma saw that Shampoo was body-surfing a wave of cushions. It was a technique she herself had not yet acquired. - Which reminded her she another technique she had wanted to try out.

"Shampoo!" she cried, tossing Akane over to her,

"Ranma!" Akane cried as if betrayed by a friend.

"Oh, Kuno-sweetie!" the redhead cried, bringing her battle aura up combat mode.

Now, how did that go, again? ...Pinch her cheeks, Pout her lips, Flare her nostrils and Keep her eyes wide? And, oh, don't forget to be a little cross-eyed.

But Ranma understood those as being the physical preparation for the heart of the technique: She had to feel beautiful! Have confidence in how Beautiful she was! Beauty was a battle! And in any battle, Ranma Saotome always won! This busty, curvaceous red-haired body was-

Buried under a cascade of cushions!

"Ranma!" Akane cried!

"Stupid Ranma!" Shampoo said, forcing the loud-girl to stay with her. "Ranma no beautiful like Shampoo!"

Kuno swung his bokken with all his speed and skill in his desperate attempt to save, "My Flame-haired Venus!"

"That's me!" the petite Cutie giggled, emerging from cushions before him.

His sword was inches from that perfect face. But the sparkle in her big, blue eyes did not flicker. She grabbed the flat sides of the blurring blade between her hands and 'rode' it up to where she could sit on his shoulders, his head between her culotte-clothed thighs.

The feel of her unbeatable cuteness was enough to distract any man, but most especially Kuno.

He forgot about the cushions and was pummeled by them.

Ranma hadn't forgotten and wasn't pummeled, having leaped off of him.

Finally, the sounds of huge cogwheels moving stopped. The room no longer spun.

Physically. "My Sunrise!" Kuno cried, his face appearing out from cushions.

"My Sweetie!" she didn't cry. Now that the cushions were stilling, she lay belly down, shifting her weight with subtle martial-arts skill to stay on top of them. What was noticeable was her little fist propping up her head as she smiled for him. She looked so adorable, and she knew it. "You were saying something about chatting?" She reached out and her fingertip touched his nose.

Getting a stupider look, his face sank beneath the cushions.

"Ranma! What do you think you're doing?!" Akane cried, wading towards her. She had to have the purple-haired amazon's help on pulling her up whenever she sank.

"I'm being cute! Don't I look it(!)?!"

"Too cute!" Akane frowned at the redhead who was a far cry from her Romeo, or even Juliet.

"Ranma use Secret of Beauty technique!" Shampoo said.

"Modified! I'm not beautiful! I'm cute! ' gotta go with what's available. That's Anything Goes!"

"Is true! Shampoo most beautiful!"

"Hey! What about me? -Eek!" Akane cried as Kuno suddenly rose from the cushions in front of her.

"You, Akane, My Diana of the Hunt, are the very definition of Vitality! You arouse my ki to fill my battle aura in its entirety!"

But before his hands could reach her, he was felled by a cushion to the back of his head.

"Don't look at her, look at me!" Ranma insisted. She was investing a lot of emotional energy in this Secret of Cuteness technique, after all! It was demanding more of her than the more pacifying Flower of Love. It demanded she like being a girl, too, but in a more active way. With her mind on the two Kunos, first Tatewaki, then Kodachi, she hadn't realized yet that male barriers had been lowered. She was free to be her female self.

"I would look at both of my goddesses! Sasuke, the scrolls!"

"Yes, Master!"

Two giant canvases unrolled from the ceiling on the wall opposite Kuno's portrait. One had a cropped Akane high-kicking in her school dress, the skirt billowing, leaving most of her legs uncovered and promising a glimpse of her panties. The other, also cropped, had Ranma dropping in her school dress, the skirt billowing so far up it showed she wasn't wearing panties! The only question it left was whether she was a natural redhead or not.

"Why Shampoo have wear panties when Ranma no wear panties?"

Her modesty violated, the red-faced Akane said, "That was taken while I was fighting. No wonder the Hentai Horde wants to fight - They get free peeks!"

The redhead didn't blush. She giggled. "Oh, Kuno-sweetie, I wear panties, now. Do you want to see them?"

She had captured his attention. But he said, "Yes, I would see the undergarment. Though only if the circumstances were correct for a gentleman and his gentlelady."

"Everything has to be "correct"? You want the proper mood to be set?" And from her lying position, she leaped and landed, kneeling, just out of his reach. "And what would that be?" she grinned.

"A chat, of course!" Kuno was suddenly sitting up on the cushions in proper high-class fashion.

Ranma laughed, and put herself in the traditional Japanese, female, sitting style. With her toes curled, her heels under her butt and her knees together, he was less likely to see her panties.

"We four shall talk in a congenial manner that leads towards a lowering of class distinctions and inhibitions. We shall be swept from the social to the romantic stimulations to, I dare say, those beyond."

"What Stickboy say?" Shampoo asked.

"Kuno-sweetie doesn't want to see just my panties," the redhead said.

"Shampoo follow lead of Ranma," the Chinese girl said, sitting where she could see her. She even imitated the very Japanese posture.

"I'm not showing them to Kuno - or any boy!" Technically, Akane hadn't even shown Ranma her panties when she was a boy. If she had, she had forgotten.

Ranma simply pointed to the canvass of her high-kicking in her dress. "Tell the truth, Kuno-sweetie. You have pictures taken where Akane's panties can be seen, right?"

Akane's hands went automatically down to her lap as if her panties were already exposed.

Kuno's eyes were still on the redhead. At her cute prompting, he confessed, "I have cameras positioned all about the school gate."

"That's why you always challenge me there!?" Akane screamed in outrage! Wanting to beat him up here like she did there, she moved towards him-

And began sinking in the cushions!

Both Ranma and Shampoo pulled her back up on top.

"Shampoo have new name for Loud Girl. Loud Girl now Dense Girl!"

"You do have an unusual center of mass, Akane. It does help you deliver power to moves," her sensei said, helping her self-evaluation,

Back on the cushions, Akane refused to sit traditionally. She chose the more comfortable legs-to-the side-and-knees-together style. She did tug at the hem of her dress more than was necessary.

"Let's chat, then," Ranma said. "You have until I have to go to the toilet."

"Perhaps My Water-born Venus should find rest in the facility before we commence? The serenade of words is best done at the more leisurely rhythm and pace of amour."

"No "Wham-Bam-Thank-You-Ma'am"?" For once, Ranma appreciated the Kuno-family's need to talk. When Tatewaki wasn't attacking, the Something put her under greater pressure to pay back the debts of honor she owed him. How far could he go with her before she was able to stop him was something she really didn't want to find out. It was better that he just talk. "Tell you what, I'll use my techniques to stay here and hear your words."

"Shampoo, too!"

Challenged to hold it in, Akane felt a need that wasn't there before. But she was stubborn! If those two martial artists could do it, so could she! And may Kuno be the first to go! (If only it didn't keep her attention on her sex.)

"On the Social-level of conversation, the objective is to become acquainted with the biographies of one's partners in palaver. My own, the ancestry and accomplishments of their scion, Tatewaki Kuno, I have already regaled you with on our way to the Kuno Chateau.

"Therefore, it must by necessity, be your own turns to inform your host of your own lives. Akane Tendo's I'm well acquainted with. I would know more of Ranma Saotome's deeds and desires. But, as those of Shampoo is the least known, it is her with which we must begin our rounds."

"Ding! Ding!" Ranma imitated the bell that stopped ring-sports rounds. "You talked about yourself and your ancestors, but you didn't talk about your family. What about your dad? And your sister?!"

Tatewaki frowned at the names. "Our conversation for building better relationships should be about our personal biographies, not those peripheral personalities."

"How Shampoo know how Shampoo treat father, sister of Stickboy, then?"

"She's right," Ranma told him. "Perhaps I've been wrong in how I've been treating your dad and sister. You have to tell me!"

"You have not treated my father wrong for you have not met him." He was still in denial that the Headmaster of the school the Kuno clan owned was his father. "And how he is to be treated when you meet, I do not know, for I, myself, do not know how I shall treat him. We parted on ambiguous terms."

"This I'd like to hear," Ranma said, hoping to get a clue about Kaneto Kuno. "Then your sister!"

Kuno 's face reflected the emotions of his memories as if they were still fresh. "My father was a strict and dedicated disciplinarian. His motto was, What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Ah!..." he said, almost forcing a smile, "there were many times when I did feel I would be killed. But I was made stronger. Indeed! I was made a man before my chronological years! Nay! I am more the man than others twice my age!" he said proudly.

"That being said, I reached a maturity where I had advanced beyond the wisdom the techniques of my paternal sensei could provide. The one that graduated me from his care was the one where, at age 14, I was once again stripped and exposed to the elements, hung from a tree like the ancient god Bacchus!"

("Bacchus!? I've heard that name before," Ranma said.)

"That was a training method I was quite well acquainted with. What made this the last time I would endure the session was that after my father had given me a buzz cut he intended to engrave a tattoo upon my cranium! My limbs tied, I fought with my head!" His voice rose as if he were reciting an episode from a heroic epic. "And when I regained consciousness, he was gone and vanquished! Three days later I was free of my bonds and discovered I had freed myself of him, as well, for he had fled before my righteous wrath!"

The story from the Truce Enforcement Club, now the Date Management Club, was that their members three years ago had managed to get the Headmaster's own school records and had blackmailed him into leaving. Ranma rather believed it was they who had driven Kuno's father away. (And it was Ranma's own action of sending the booze wagon the man was sitting on down a hill to crash that had driven him to back to Furinkan, his school records be damned!)

"Ever since that day, I have headed the Kuno clan, responsible for every aspect of our estate, literal and financial! And for which, I have proven myself quite capable. My training has, indeed, prepared me to embody the meaning of our name, the 9-Abilities! For that, I give thanks to my vacant father!" His voice then lost its bravado with, "And that is the only thanks I will give him."

"Man, the Headmas- Your father sounds like a real creep," Ranma said.

"It is an opinion that I am not allowed to share. Whatever his actions towards me, is not a son obligated to love his own father? As legal heir to the Kuno fiefdom, I have legions that are obligated to be loyal to me, so, too, must I be loyal to him that sired me and given me my position in society." It could be seen, though, that his heart didn't really believe that.

"The Club said that, as bad as he is, he was worse three years ago," Akane said. "I wonder why Kasumi never mentioned what he did to the school while she went there. She had to have met him." That brought up the memory of what happened two days ago, during the Fine Dining Challenge. Her wu-wei sister had actually challenged the Headmaster - And won! She had seen how relieved the man was when Kasumi had left. Could her quiet, unassuming Big Sister have been the real reason Kuno's dad had left the school, the town, and the country?

No, course not! Akane told herself. That was just one of those wild thoughts that flit through your head.

"You said something about Bacchus? That's the name of your sister's school, isn't it?" Ranma saw her opening and took it.

"Yes. It, like Furinkan, is a school owned by the Kuno clan. Though, for those unfamiliar with St. Bacchus, it is often called by the Japanese name of St. Hebereke. My sister, Kodachi, will, at times, play with the epithet and refer to herself as the Curly-haired Hebe, the goddess of youth before she married Hercules."

" "Hercules"?" Even Ranma knew the name and some of the stories about him. Hearing that the Black Rose may be interested in having her own Hercules gave impulse to the redhead without male barriers to want to remain a girl.

"My father named it St. Bacchus in honor of his patron saint, Nietzsche, the philosopher. Who, by the way, also became insane."

"OK," Ranma had no idea who this Nietzsche guy was or why the Headmaster hadn't just called it St. Nietzsche. "Saint" was just a title indicating revered respect among the Japanese, after all.

"And because of her adoration of our father, I fear my twisted sister, the Black Rose, is also on her way to insanity, as, she, too, has shown an interest in the teachings of Friedrich Nietzsche."

"Nietzsche was a sadist?" Akane asked.

"Not by their interpretation. They, like Bacchus, believe that people are made more aware and alive when confronted with chaos and destruction. If just to survive. And this can propel them to be greater humans. They think of themselves as the Yin which does not compete but complements and completes the Yang. Yin is the Female Principal, and Bacchus was a male god who preferred women and liked pretending to be a woman."

That hit too close to home for Ranma. She knew it but didn't feel it. She wasn't pretending. Right, then, she felt she was more girl than guy. Her legs uncomfortable from the - correct! - way she was kneeling, the redhead leaned within his reaching range. (And Shampoo did the same. Akane didn't.) "How did the Black Rose become interested in flowers?"

"As I said, my sister entertains the notion that she is another Hebe-reke. The goddess of youth, Hebe, was the cupbearer of the gods, responsible for providing the ambrosia and nectar that kept them immortal. Her interest in flowers and herbs and chemicals from other sources stems from her hobby of finding another source to long-life other than the ones the Taoist alchemists prescribe. Hebe is, after all, not an Eastern, but a Western goddess."

" "Taoist immortality"?" Ranma and Akane thought of the Awful Nasty Candy that won them the Fine Dining Challenge. They could believe Kodachi's "ambrosia" would be just as repugnant. Bacchus was the god of wine. The ancient gods would have to be drunk to take that kind of medicine.

"I would not be interested, if I were you, My Own Goddesses. Like Bacchus and the non-Olympian gods he is related to, the Black Rose believes to attain eternal life, one must first die before one can be resurrected. Even her paralysis powder was originally about preparing the victim by enforcing meditation as they lie catatonic in a living death. This I know, as I myself have been a test subject of her experiments."

Geez! Man! The Something was telling Ranma that she should honor her debt to him just out of all that he had endured at the hands of his own family. Who would have thought of all the Kunos, he was the most sane and worthy of some empathy. She wanted to reach out to him and….

And: No! No good chat! She wasn't that much of a girl! Or kind! (Right?) She and her friends were here to neutralize the Black Rose! She was a threat not just to them but to everybody! Her stealing women's sexiness was like her giving herself their youth! She had stopped her from doing that! She would stop her from using the flowers of love and weakness! "Why haven't you stopped your sister?!"

"For the same reason that I did not retard the actions of my own father before his extreme methods became too extreme. It is epistemic knowledge that a brother must love his sister in the non-incestuous definition of the word. As a noble and an exemplar to all, I, Tatewaki Kuno, must honor my familial duties and support my relations as much as I am capable of bearing."

"But we're not family." Her stomach turning, she added, "Yet."

Kuno finally, fully realized just how close this elfin redhead was to him. The monologist had only one thing to say, "Sasuke!"

"Yes, Master!" the short ninja answered, appearing up from the cushions between them. ("Aa!" Akane cried, nearly toppling over and sinking into the cushions.)

"Report, man! Have you ascertained the location of my sister?"

"I can inform my you that Mistress Kodachi's laughter has not been detected in any of the usual places she can be found. I have not had the time to check the many other places within the estate."

"Where did she take those flowers she bought yesterday?" Ranma demanded.

"Tell her!" his master ordered.

"Pity the poor servant with more than one master! Mistress Kodachi isn't going to like me telling you they are Greenhouse Laboratory."

[][][]

Ranma and Shampoo could have gotten out of the room easier and faster if Kuno hadn't insisted on demonstrated his prowess with his sword. With the skill to move tens upon tens cushions without cutting any, he speedily piled them up to where they could reach the hidden door between the hanging scrolls. Well, this was one of his practice routines; he should be good at this.

Meanwhile, Akane was telling the others, "Hebereke simply means "drunk to the point of being untrustworthy and uncontrollable"."

"Bacchus was the god of wine, and Hebe was a goddess who kept their cups full. These are the Kunos: They'll force their interpretation on things and have the bucks to get away with it." Ranma groaned as she realized the terrible, Kuno-like pun she had just made. The slang for American dollars, the international symbol of wealth, "bucks", bakk(u)su, was the nearly same with their unvoiced vowels as the Bacchus, Bakk(a)su. This similarity may have what originally brought the god to the wealthy Headmaster's notice.

"Ranma smart. Make good warrior leader," Shampoo said.

"Me smart(?)" That was the first time anybody said that about her. Ranma knew she was a great tactician, but, lately, she had been showing signs of being a strategist, too. Was the Curse actually turning her into a better martial artist, like Akane suggested? Maybe performing heroics was what she needed to do.

"There!" Kuno announced. "Here is our stairway out of here!"

But, as Akane was climbing the hillside of cushions, she lost her balance and caused another landslide, destroying their way out.

Ranma got her before she sank into the lake of cushions and lifted her up towards the hidden door with her leap. Kicking the panel, she forced it to slide open and, then, used a mid-air somersault to toss Akane in before clambering in using her hands.

Shampoo followed carrying Kuno.

Kuno did not seem to appreciate the assistance. He was green in her arms. And Ranma noticed. The Chinese Guizi girl was too beautiful for him. And here Ranma was, stuck with just being cute. She was jealous.

[][][]

Keeping Shampoo to the rear and away from Kuno, they all followed him. Or, rather, Sasuke with his flashlight.

The narrow hall led to ordinary-looking stairs. This made the more sane among them happy. This was Japan and earthquakes happened too often. Being underground when one happened was not a good idea. The Tendo house had an attic, but only a crawl space beneath.

But they only made it as high as the first basement. "This is level where every place within the chateau can be reached by secret passages. But let me lead so that I can disarm the boobytraps."

"You, Master?" Sasuke said, nervously. Even being the most familiar with them, he was probably uncertain whether he remembered where each one was or how to disarm the different kinds.

It would have helped if they had updated the place and had installed motion detectors that turned on the lights as they went along. But the Kunos seemed intent on leaving as much of their chateau 'steampunk', that is, around the late 19th and the very early 20th centuries. That was the era when Japan first became fascinated with technology but was still developing the ability to be high tech. It was the Heroic Age of making the nation a world power.

"Ow!" Speaking of heroes, Sasuke's flashlight was dropped as he found a boobytrap. An iron bar in the shape of a karate hand had come down on his back, just missing his head. "That is going to leave yet another mark," he groaned, picking himself up. Only his ninja training kept him from having any broken vertebrae.

"Aw, man!" Ranma said, feeling some sympathy for the runt. "Hey! Why are we letting him have all the action? This could be good training for us!" And she used her superior shortness to jump through the space between Kuno's shoulder and the ceiling.

"This is dangerous, you know!" Akane warned, shoving Kuno aside to get after her impulsive friend.

"No forget Shampoo!" But she wasn't able to get past Kuno.

Kuno fled before her. And, when he came to Akane, he swept her up in his left arm as he wielded his sword to protect her! "Fear not, My Athletic Damsel, I am the host and shall protect you!"

"Let go of me!" Akane cried. She took hold of the iron bar and held on.

The wood it was set in was getting rotten, though, and the bar was torn loose.

"Wait up, My Flame-haired-" He never finished the sentence, as Akane swung herself and the bar around and hit him on his forehead! Down he went.

Akane barely managed to land on her feet.

"Aw, Akane, why'd you have to do that!?" Ranma asked in exasperation. "No beating him up until after we take care of those flowers, remember!? How are we to know where they are without…." He eyes fell on Sasuke. She smiled coquetrily. "You'll help us, won't you, Sasuke?"

"It is my duty to stay with my master," he said resolutely.

"But your master wants you to help us, his guests right?" She moved closer to him.

"Look out!" he cried.

Where, before, she had unknowingly stepped over a tripwire, now she unknowingly tripped the wire. Ranma's trained senses warned her and her reflexes, twisting and turning her, saved her when the sharp throwing stars were released from the strings that had held them. Physically the worst she received were a few nicks. Her clothes, though, received tears and cuts. Since her boobs were out further than the rest of her, her bust was torn the worst. Her cleavage was exposed and the tear on her left side left only a strip of cloth covering that nipple.

Sasuke did not get nosebleeds. But he could blush. "Maybe I could show our female guests the way."

Good old, Women's Tactical Advantage, Ranma smirked. (While Akane frowned.) "Okay! But you've got to let us lead," she said, covering the worst tear with her hand while pretending to be modest. "You can be our rear guard?"

"Your rear!?" he said, still blushing.

"Shampoo have turn! Ranma almost become amazon!"

"And what has boobytraps have to do with becoming part of your tribe, Shampoo?"

"Shampoo never call tribe Amazon. That name from outside! But tribe know what Amazon mean. Amazon mean No Boobie. Shampoo want Ranma keep boobie." And she touched the barely covered one.

Ranma flinched, backing away!

That gave Shampoo the room to squeeze by (while brushing her body unnecessarily against the redhead's body). And she took the ninja's flashlight while his mind was still on her 'attack' of Ranma.

Giggling, the Joketsuzoku girl skipped ahead.

But her trained senses were alive for danger. From what she could make out from the long-winded, blowhard Stickboy speaking in a language not her own, she could relate to this Nietzsche. Chaos and destruction were invigorating! Treating everything as a battle keep her excited to stay and be alive!

She still had a one-stone - 14 pounds/6.35 kg - stone land on her head. She was so hardheaded, it was the one to crack. It still hurt! "Aiyii, chi, chi, chi!"

"Sasuke! Where are you, man! You know how I feel about being in the darkness!"

"I'm coming, Master!" he said, after finding the spare flashlight he carried. It wasn't until after he reached him that the battery died.

"I guess it's my turn, next," Akane said, forcing herself forward.

Ranma took her by a shoulder as she passed her.

Akane glared at her!

But Ranma merely said, "Good luck, Akane."

Akane smiled at the confidence her sensei and friend was showing her. "Thanks, Ranma!"

Akane stopped and looked at the stone that stood on the floor beside Shampoo. If the Chinese girl didn't move, she would have to jump over it. That was something she did not want to do. It would make her feel silly.

Instead, she gave it a mighty blow and broke it entirely in half. It was Shampoo that had to move: Away from the shrapnel! Satisfied, Akane picked up the smallest half and carried it with her down the narrow hall. "I can use this as a shield - Or throw it ahead of me!" And she did.

It went all of one yard/one meter. No traps had been found.

She picked it up, and threw a similar distance. Again, no trap.

"This too too slow! How long before Dense Girl get too too tired of game?" Shampoo asked.

"A long time!" Akane stubbornly said, picking the stone up again.

But she walked the next couple of yards/meters.

The floor broke beneath her! And she and the stone fell into a well with a splash!

"Akane!" Ranma cried, getting around Shampoo.

Steam rose from the lit floor below!

"I can't swim!" Akane cried, flailing about, barely able to keep her mouth above the hot water.

"Aw, man!" And the redhead jumped in!

[][][]

The black-haired boy was nearly drowned himself as Akane desperately clung to him in all the wrong ways! The pull from water mains that the well fed did make things any easier.

But, at last, Ranma got her to the edge of the well. Shampoo was now there to help both of them up onto the catwalk.

Rising up on either side of the elevated, railed-in bridge were giant boilers of a distinctly vintage type. The Kuno chateau was steampunk, fed by its own geothermal well. And there were probably more scattered about the estate. The site had been well-chosen.

But Ranma wasn't thinking about that. "Aw, man!" he said, looking down at the wet and ripped clothes plastered against his very fit and male body. "No more cute bod!" Even as he said it, he realized it sounded odd.

"Shampoo agree. No more cute body." But it was a very handsome body. Her male children would be fortunate to have a body like his. And her female children would be blessed to have a body like the redhead's! Now, if only the male Ranma would defeat her, she would have two sexes to love!

*Cough!*, *Cough!* (Struggling to inhale) "Hey!" Akane managed to say.

"Akane! Would you like some mouth-to-mouth respiration?!"

"No!" *Cough!*, *Cough!* she told him, using her hand to hide what her wet clothes revealed.

It was so hot in this basement. Their clothes were soon dry. But it was so humid, sweat was taking the place of the simple wetness.

They looked for a way out.

[][][]

"Why'd they leave that well uncapped!?" Akane was still upset about almost drowning. "It makes as much sense as having a swimming pool underneath an ice skating rink!?"

"What?" Where'd that come from? "You'd rather fall on hard metal?" Ranma said.

"Was boobytrap! Trap catch booby!" Shampoo giggled. Then she looked at the redhead. "But no catch boobie of Ranma."

"I don't have to think about boobs, right now," he frowned. He was still speaking Female Japanese. His eyes wanted to look at those of the two born-girls. Instead, he looked away.

"Stairs!" he rushed to the metal steps off the catwalk.

From behind them, they heard Kuno cry, "Geronimo!" and Sasuke cry, "For my master!" Two splashes followed.

[][][]

"I thought we were supposed to let Kuno lead us to those flowers?!" Akane said.

"Until I find some cold water, Kuno is not going to be happy to see me! As a guy, I'm Romeo to him, remember? Who knows what he'd think when he wonders where the redhead went! Let's see what we can do without him, okay?"

Not stopping on the first basement, they opened the stairway door onto the ground floor. On the other side was one of the bookcases of a library.

Akane noticed that another one was empty except for the photo albums on one shelf. "Ranma?"

"What?" he asked, closing the bookcase-door.

"No. Look! The name on that bookshelf is Ranma."

"What!?" Interrupted, he didn't find the way to keep the secret door closed.

"I think Kuno's collecting photos of you."

"But I've only been in town for six days! And I don't think Nabiki has taken enough to fill a shelf." As he was walking towards the albums, he said, "Akane."

"What?"

"There are three bookcases with your name on them."

Akane growled and stormed over to the nearest one. She stopped when she saw there were was a pile of albums on a reading table that hadn't found a place in the crowded bookcases.

"No! I don't want to see the kind of pictures of me he has!"

Ranma looked to the closed bookcase door. "We'd better get out of here, fast! He has to be coming!"

"Ranma!" Shampoo said.

"What now!? Don't tell me he has something worse than those picture albums?"

"On wall! Is map!"

And the framed map was of the Kuno estate!

[][][]

As the male Ranma had the longer arms, he was the one who carried the large, framed map. They found a door to the outside, but their problems weren't over. "The map tells us how to find the greenhouse, but it doesn't tell us what dangers are on the way."

"Ranma, Shampoo jump from building top to building top!" Shampoo said.

"I can't do that!" Akane said in her frustration.

"Then Dense Girl stay here. No can learn jump technique!"

"I'm afraid Shampoo may be right, Akane. Your center of mass may be right for some things, but not rooftop leaping." He saw how upset this made his friend. "We'll train to give you control of it. It's the secret of mid-air maneuvering."

"Thanks, Ranma," she tried to smile. Wanting to make her sensei proud of her, she now said, "Go ahead! I'll stay here. I should be safe in this garden."

"Thank you, Akane." He moved to leave. He saw the pond and thought about changing back into a girl.

But he didn't. Instead, he turned around and pulled Akane to him. And kissed her.

He left the girl stunned.

[][][]

Akane screamed and barely got away from the crocodile that lunged at her from the pond.

"Oh, ho, ho, Ho, ho! I see you've met Mr. Green Turtle!" Kodachi was in her green leotard. Twirling her gymnastics ribbon, she said, "I think you two should get to know one another better!"

[][][] [][][] [][][]

There was never a Saint Drunk. There are a number of mangas and animes about Saints, but they aren't what we, in the West, would call saints. In them, "Saint" just means someone who should, perhaps, be given "revered respect".

In the manga, St. Hebereke was translated into English as St. Bacchus and I made full use of it in setting out the Kuno family's motivations. I feel justified because of what the translators did with the name of Happosai's school. Who doesn't prefer Anything-Goes to the original Indiscriminate Grappling? How many authors have used the "wrong" name as an important element in their stories?