Have faith in the good, let your love shine through
I'm coming too, let your love shine through
Have faith in the good, go find your truth
Make your move and let your love shine through
Have faith in the good, no we won't lose
There's too much proof, we'll never lose
Have faith in the good
-"Have Faith" by Mt. Joy
Emily closed the door as quietly as she could behind her, wincing when it squeaked. Despite her best efforts, Alex rolled over, pulling at her blankets. "Emily?" she croaked.
"Yeah, it's just me, go back to sleep," she whispered, tugging at her boots.
Alex fumbled for her phone. "What time is it?"
"Don't worry about it."
"It's past three," Alex said. Her phone slipped from her hands and hit her in the forehead. "Ow."
Emily bit back a grin and sat down on the edge of her bed. "It's Sunday, I'll sleep in tomorrow and it'll be fine," she said.
Alex rubbed her eyes. Her hair had slipped free of her braids at some point and hung around her face. "Did you have fun?" she yawned. She patted the spot beside her. "C'mere, tell me about it."
"Yeah, I had fun," Emily said. She crawled up to sit beside Alex, the adrenaline and alcohol slowly wearing off and tiring her out. "I met a boy."
"Mm-hm?" Alex said, scooting over to make room. "Is he cute?"
"Yeah, I guess," Emily said. "He gave me his number."
Alex smiled. "Good for you," she said. She frowned. "What's that...is that our fire alarm?"
"No, not ours," Emily reassured her. "Somewhere else on campus, I think." She shifted around to lie down beside Alex. "I hope it's not Lincoln House."
Alex nudged her. "Don't you wanna sleep in your own bed?" she said.
"No," Emily said. "Why does Spencer get all the cuddles? I'm still mildly drunk, and I'd like to be cuddled."
Alex half laughed and tilted her head against Emily's shoulder. "You smell like...sweat and hand sanitizer," she said.
"Cheap tequila," Emily corrected. She made herself comfortable, lying on her back with her hands on her stomach, and smirked up at the ceiling. "And I'll have you know I only threatened to puke in Rossi's car on the way home. I made it all the way back here, and then I puked in the bushes."
Alex snorted. "He must've been pissed," she said sleepily.
"Enraged. He might not let me ride in his car again," Emily said. "Is he always that uptight about his car?"
Alex didn't answer, and when she squinted at her in the darkness, Emily could tell she was almost asleep. "Yeah, you're definitely not a party girl, are you?" she said. "All that Hozier wore you out, huh?"
"I dunno," Alex yawned. She rolled over onto her side. "G'night, Emily."
"Goodnight," Emily said.
It took Alex a second to doze off, but Emily fell asleep slowly, listening to the faint drone of the fire alarm buzzing in the distance, almost completely drowned out by the sound of Alex's white noise app. Her thoughts began to filter out one by one, and her last thought before she fell asleep was I wonder if this is what it's like to have a best friend.
Derek pulled his pillow over his head. "Whose alarm is going off?" he whined. "It's still dark out. And it's so loud."
"That's because it's the fire alarm," Spencer said.
He sat up, dropping the pillow on the floor. "Shit," he said. He rolled out of bed, pushing his covers back, and fumbled for his shoes and a jacket to pull on over his pajamas. "Come on, pretty boy, let's go."
He dug his heel around in his shoe as he walked down the hall and joined the collection of sleepy students heading down the stairs. Now was a really bad time to live on the seventh floor; he had to elbow a couple people to make his way out.
It was colder than he expected outside- low seventies, maybe upper sixties- and drizzling lightly; he pulled his hood over his head as he crossed to the designated meeting spot in the corner of the courtyard. Hotch was already there, frowning as he crossed names off his floor roster. His ever-present hoodie hung awkwardly on his lanky frame and both shoes were untied.
"Derek, it's about time," Hotch said, checking his name off. "You're one of the last ones."
"Sorry," Derek said. "I figured it was a drill."
"I don't think so," he said. His sleepiness was pulling his usually well-hidden Virginia accent out in full force, pulling his vowel sounds long and drawled. "They give RAs the heads up if there's a drill. I didn't hear anythin' about it. Either somebody was pullin' a really stupid prank at three in the morning, or there was a real fire."
Derek snickered. "You must be tired," he said. "Your accent's coming out real bad."
"I don't have an accent, Morgan," Hotch said grumpily.
"You can't even say 'fire' correctly."
"Yes, I can."
"Say it. Say 'fire'."
"Fire."
"No, you said fahr," Derek teased. "That's not a real word."
"Shut up," Hotch said. "Where's Spencer? He's the only one missing."
Derek glanced around. "Oh, fuck," he said.
"Did you lose him?" Hotch demanded.
Derek turned around. "I didn't think so!" he said. "He was right behind me on the stairs, I guess- oh, wait, no. There he is."
The tiny kid had gotten himself swallowed up in the crowd, darting around older and taller students, until he finally collided with Derek's legs. "Hey, pretty boy, there you are," he said. "We were wondering where you went."
"Yeah, it's hard to navigate when you're elbow-height to everybody else," Spencer retorted. He pushed his hair out of his eyes. "Everybody kept stepping on me."
"Just stay close then, and don't wander off," Hotch said.
Spencer squinted up at him. "Why do you have an accent?" he asked.
"I told you, Hotch," Derek grinned.
Hotch rolled his eyes "Now we'll just wait for the all clear to go back inside, and then-" He stopped midsentence. "Spencer. Where are your shoes?"
Derek looked over at the kid. Spencer was barefoot and dressed only in an oversized tee shirt and his threadbare boxer briefs. He was shivering but he didn't seem to notice, watching the dorm building with interest. "Is there really a fire?" he said. "I thought I smelled smoke when I passed the third floor."
"Spencer Reid. Where are your shoes?"
Spencer looked down at his feet. "Oh," he said. "I, um...I forgot."
"Where's your jacket?"
Spencer just shrugged. Hotch sighed heavily, handed his clipboard with the roster to Derek, and took off his hoodie. "Put this on," he said. "You're making me cold."
Spencer frowned. "Why do grownups say things like that?" he said.
"I'm not a grownup. Put it on."
"You're kind of a grownup," Derek said. Hotch shot him a look as Spencer wrestled the hoodie on and zipped it up to his chin.
Gideon strode across the quad, seemingly unruffled by the rain. "False alarm," he called. "They'll clear us in a moment, and then you can call go back inside."
"I wonder what started it," Derek said.
A voice floated over the crowd in the courtyard. "Sorry, I just wanted to make popcorn!"
Derek scowled. "At three in the morning, Anderson?" he hollered back.
"I was hungry!"
It was starting to rain harder now, threatening to soak into the shoulders of his jacket. Spencer struggled with the cuffs of the hoodie; Hotch silently rolled them up past his thin wrists. "Hopefully they'll let us back in soon," Derek said.
Hotch dragged his hand over his face. "God, I just wanna go back to sleep," he sighed.
"I want to finish my book," Spencer said.
Hotch paused. "Weren't you asleep?" he said.
"No, he wasn't," Derek said. "He's been reading since bedchecks."
"Spencer, you have to sleep," Hotch said.
"But I'm not tired," he objected.
Hotch raised an eyebrow. "The dark circles under your eyes say otherwise," he said dryly. "Come on, they're letting us back in. Let's get out of the rain."
"Thank god," Derek said, sticking his hands in his pockets. He started the trek back to the dorms, but paused when he realized Hotch and Spencer had fallen behind. Spencer walked slowly, picking his way carefully over the rain-slick stones of the courtyard, and Hotch was keeping up with his pace.
"Guys, can we go?" Derek called.
Hotch sighed impatiently and picked Spencer up. "You don't have to carry me," he protested, gripping Hotch's shoulders.
"It's gonna take you twenty years to get inside," he said. He jostled him lightly, adjusting his grip as he caught up to Derek.
"Did you seriously forget your shoes?" Derek said. "There was enough time to grab them."
Spencer was quiet for a moment. "I couldn't," he said.
"Why not?" Hotch asked.
"They fell apart," he admitted. "The tape wasn't working anymore."
"So you can't wear them?"
Spencer shook his head. Derek caught Hotch's eye and shrugged. He couldn't quite read the older boy's expression in the half light of the Lincoln House lobby, but he had a feeling that Hotch wasn't going to accept that as an answer.
The crowd had thinned out as six floors' worth of students filed back up the stairs to their rooms. Hotch set Spencer down carefully on his feet and nudged him towards the stairs. "You need to go to bed," he said. "And at least try to sleep. No books."
"But I'm not tired, I swear," Spencer said.
Hotch herded both of them up the stairs. "Well, staying up and reading isn't helping," he said. "At least try to sleep."
Derek flipped the lights on and immediately flopped onto his bed. "Oh my god, I'm so glad we don't have class in the morning," he sighed.
Spencer's bed didn't look slept in. Hotch dug around under his pillow and pulled out a paperback. "Hey!" Spencer protested.
"I'm taking this," Hotch said. "Just for tonight. You need to sleep."
Spencer wrestled with the zipper of the borrowed hoodie. "Well, you can have this back," he said, wriggling out of it and tossing it to him.
It didn't even get halfway. Hotch picked it up from the floor. "Both of y'all, go to bed," he said.
Derek laughed. "You just said 'y'all.' Are you turning into James?" he said.
"Goodnight!" Hotch said loudly, and he turned off the lights and closed the door. Derek rolled around under his warm blankets, getting comfortable. He meant to keep an eye on Spencer, make sure that he was actually going to sleep, but he dozed off too quickly.
Spencer laid awake staring at the ceiling, listening to Derek's steady deep breathing from the other side of the room. At least with his book he could distract himself, but now he was left with his thoughts churning and tangling together. And he was freezing. The light rain outside had left his shirt and hair faintly damp, and his blanket wasn't doing much of anything to warm him up against the strong AC pumping through the vent above him. It wasn't that he didn't want to sleep- he was exhausted. He just couldn't.
He waited until the sunlight was bright through the window and he was sure that it was late enough that he could get up without raising Hotch's suspicions. Derek was still asleep, but he slipped out of bed and got dressed quietly.
He sat down on the floor and pulled his shoes out from under the bed. But there was no way he could wear them. The uppers had completely pulled away from the cracked soles. Not that the shoes fit him anyway, he'd outgrown them months ago.
He slipped out of the room, still barefoot, and made his way down the hall, but he stopped short when he saw the older kids all piled on the couches in the common room. "What's going on?" he asked.
"Not much," James said. "Hotch was telling us about the fire alarm this morning."
"Ugh, do not remind me," Emily groaned. She slumped back on the couch, her arms folded over her chest and her legs splayed out. "I could hear the damn thing all the way from Roosevelt, and it took forever to turn off."
Spencer tilted his head. "Why are you wearing sunglasses inside?" he asked.
"Emily doesn't know how to pace herself," Dave quipped.
He looked at Alex and she beckoned him over. "Emily has a hangover," she whispered.
"Oh," he said as he climbed on the couch to sit next to Alex. "Stay hydrated and eat carbohydrates."
Emily shifted her sunglasses so she could squint at him over the frames. "How do you know these things?" she said.
"I read," he shrugged. "Which, by the way...Hotch, can I have my book back?"
"Not quite yet," Hotch said. "We, uh...we need to talk."
A little spike of panic ran through Spencer's heart. "About what?" he asked.
"You're not in trouble," Alex reassured him quickly.
"I feel like I'm in trouble," he said. "You guys are all staring at me."
Hotch sighed heavily. "Spencer, we've been talking," he said. "You can't do this anymore. Your shoes have fallen apart, the backpack on your zipper is busted, you came to boarding school without any bedding except for one blanket that looks like it'll fall apart in the wash, and you don't have a coat or any warm clothes for the winter."
Spencer curled up back into the couch, his heart thudding against his ribcage. "Tennessee has a fairly temperate climate-" he began in a tiny voice.
"Not in January, passerotto," Dave said.
He couldn't breathe. "I can't...I don't know what you want me to do about it," he said. "I'm not sure…"
"Slow down, Spencer, slow down," Alex said, rubbing his back lightly. "Take a deep breath."
He closed his eyes. "I know your parents kind of just threw you to the wolves out here," Hotch said. "And I'm guessing you can't just call them and ask them to help you out." Spencer raised and lowered one shoulder. That was an understatement. "But you don't have to worry about it. At this point you should have a decent amount in your flex account to at least get shoes, maybe a backpack."
"And anything else you need or want, Emily and I can cover it," Dave said. Emily held up both hands in peace signs.
"You guys don't have to do that," he said. "I'm okay. I'm sure I'm not the first kid to show up to school without a lot of stuff."
"Spencer, there's a difference between not having a lot of stuff and not have basic things that you need," Alex pointed out.
He fidgeted uncomfortably. "I'm okay," he said. "I can make my backpack work if I hold it right, and I don't think winter will be that bad. And the school gave me sheets and a pillow, so that's fine."
"Sheets are Morgan's, the pillow is Hotchner's," Emily said in a loud monotone.
Spencer's mouth dropped open. "But...but you said-"
Hotch shrugged. "We weren't going to let you sleep on a bare mattress without a pillow," he said.
Spencer huddled against the arm of the couch, his knees pulled to his chest. He didn't know how to argue with this. He couldn't think of anything to say, and he could feel their eyes boring into him.
Alex slipped an arm around his shoulders, turning him slightly so he was only looking at her. "How about this?" she offered. "We'll all go out together, okay? It'll be fun. We'll get something to eat, and we'll get you shoes. And if you change your mind, and there's anything else you need, all you have to do is say something."
He didn't know what to say. Instead he bit his lower lip hard, running the offer back and forth in his mind. Alex tapped his chin, catching his attention back, and after a moment he nodded hesitantly.
"I've already texted the girls, they're getting ready now," Hotch said. "I guess I'd better wake up Derek."
"Speaking of wake up, I'm gonna take a nap while I still can," Emily said, slumping down further.
"I saw you chugging those beers, Prentiss, you made some really poor choices last night," Dave said.
Emily held up her hand. "Shut it, Rossi," she said.
"Well, you're not riding in my car. You might puke again."
"I didn't puke in your car, I puked next to your car."
They bickered back and forth, but Spencer stayed silent. Without thinking he leaned closer into Alex's side; she was laughing as Emily and Derek bantered, but she kept rubbing her thumb against his shoulder. Her soft cardigan smelled like old books and the violet and vanilla bean scent of her familiar perfume, and he pressed his cheek against her arm as he tried to slow the anxious rapid beating of his heart.
James glanced back in his rearview mirror. Emily was asleep, her head tilted back and her mouth hanging open; Spencer was busy reading the book Hotch had given back to him, but he kept absently pulling at his seatbelt. The strap sat too high on his small body, running over his throat instead of his chest. He filed that thought away to check later.
Alex sat next to him in the passenger seat, her legs curled under her as she scrolled through her phone. She'd left her hair down, hanging loose over her shoulders, and she leaned close enough to him that it brushed against his arm. "Penelope says Dave wants to stop and get something to eat first," she said.
"Did he say where?"
Emily suddenly pulled herself up like a zombie, nearly elbowing Spencer in the face and leaning in between their armrests. "What's that place you took me before?" she said, her voice raspy. "I want...I want that."
"Jesus, Emily, I thought you were sleeping," James said, startled.
Her sunglasses slipped down her nose. "I was, but I'm hungry," she said. "Tell Dave I wanna go to the place."
"All right, all right, I'll text Penelope," Alex laughed. "How's your hangover?"
Emily flopped back in her seat and pushed her sunglasses to the top of her head. "Well, I've reached the 'I need shitty fast food' stage, so that's a thing," she said. "And this headache is killing me."
"I told you, hydrate and eat carbs," Spencer said without looking up from his book.
"What do you know about hangovers?" Emily objected.
He shrugged. "I read a lot," he said.
Emily rolled her eyes. "No wonder Alex has adopted you," she said. "You should see her side of the room. It's mostly books. You work in a library, Miller, why do you have to bring your work home with you?"
Alex twisted around in her seat. "Your side of the room looks like Hot Topic threw up," she complained. "You promised you were going to clean."
"I will!" Emily said. "It's just that I was busy throwing up this morning."
James made the turn in the Sonic parking lot and pulled into a space next to Dave's car. "Hey, look, we're here," he said.
He shielded his eyes from the sun as he got out of the driver's seat. The morning's coolness and soft rain was long gone, replaced by oppressive heat and sweltering humidity. Alex pulled off her cardigan and tossed it on her seat before she closed her door. "Yikes, it's hot," she said. "I think it's hotter out than it was this time last year."
"The average temperature around here in September is 84 degrees, but the highest on record was is a hundred and two," Spencer said. He squinted up at Emily. "And yes, that's something else I learned from reading."
Emily groaned. "I can't learn new things right now, I need food," she said. She picked Spencer up under his arms and slung him up onto the curb. "Move it, Dr. Reid."
"Hey, put me down!" he protested, kicking his short legs. He was wearing his school uniform dress shoes, which made for an odd sight paired with his oversized and well-worn tee shirt and shorts. "I can walk on my own, Emily!"
The others had already picked tables and crowded around the menu boards. "Derek, are you going to be able to eat all of that?" Hotch asked.
"Hell yeah I can!"
Penelope gazed at the glossy pictures of ice cream and milkshakes. "I don't know if I can only pick one," she said. "JJ, help me. Do I want chocolate or not-chocolate?"
"Uh...chocolate?"
"Thank you. That narrows it down. A little bit."
Placing nine separate orders at the speakers was a little bit of a hassle, but they made it. Well, eight orders, honestly. Spencer had tried to slip past them without getting anything, but Emily had shrugged and added a bunch of extra things to her order, and had at least gotten him to pick out a drink.
James started to take the nearest open seat at the table; Dave cleared his throat and nodded towards the empty space on the bench next to Alex. He took the hint and sat down beside her, but she was distracted. "Emily, are you okay?" she asked.
Emily put her head down on her folded arms. "I'll be fine when I'm not starving, I think," she said. She sat up and dragged her hands over her eyes, smearing the last streaks of last night's mascara. "And I promise, I'll clean my side of the room. Maybe tomorrow, though." She slid her sunglasses back on. "Not that I have a lot of experience with room cleaning."
"Why, you don't clean your room back home?" Derek joked. He paused. "Wait, are you serious?"
Emily shrugged. "Every ambassador's residence I've lived in has a full staff," she said. "What's the point, my dude?"
"You're so lucky," Derek said. "My mom is always nagging me to clean my room."
"If it looks anything like our dorm room, your mom is justified," Spencer said.
"I'd rather clean my room than wash dishes," JJ said. "It's so gross."
Alex shook her head. "I'd rather wash dishes than do my brothers' laundry," she said. "They're disgusting. And my dad somehow has it in his head it's a girl chore so I have to do it."
"Seriously? That's archaic," Dave said.
"Tell me about it," Alex said. "Scotty and Danny couldn't operate a washing machine if I paid them to do it." She turned and looked at Dave. "What about you, Rossi? Would you be able to manage?"
"No, I'm perfectly capable of washing my own clothes," Dave said. "But...my mom still irons things. For some reason she won't let me touch the iron."
"You guys have it so easy," Hotch said. "Have any of you ever been sent out to mow the lawn in the middle of the summer? It's seriously from hell."
Spencer turned a page in his book. "Sometimes I had to take my mom's credit card and walk six blocks to the nearest payphone to pay the power bill," he said absently.
James frowned. "Why would you have to walk that far?" he said.
"Why would you have to pay it in the first place?" Hotch asked.
Spencer didn't look up. "Well, she forgot to pay sometimes, and the electricity would be turned off, so I'd take care of it," he explained.
An uncomfortable silence fell over the table. Alex reached over and placed her fingertips on the page, and he looked up. "Spencer," she said. "Did that happen a lot?"
"Did what happen?" he asked. "Having to pay a bill, or getting utilities turned off?"
"Both."
He shrugged. "Fairly often," he said. He looked around at them and his face fell. "Haven't...haven't you guys had to do that before?"
There was a long pause. "No, darling," Alex said softly.
All the color drained from Spencer's face, as if he had just realized that he'd said the wrong thing. He shrank into himself, pulling his book away from Alex's hand and hugging it to his chest. No one said anything.
Emily slammed her hands down on the table and got up. "Hey, Spencer, do you want ice cream?" she asked.
He blinked. "I'm not sure what ice cream has to do…"
"I'm getting you ice cream," she said firmly.
Dave trailed behind Penelope and JJ. The nine of them had split up once they got to the shopping plaza; somehow he and James had ended up chaperoning the two youngest girls in a craft store. As it turned out, it wasn't so much chaperoning both of them as it was making sure that Penelope didn't go too wild in the middle of a Michaels.
"Dave!" she shrieked, holding up two identical skeins of blue embroidery floss. "Which color should I get?"
"Are they not the same?" he asked.
"No! One is sky blue, one is cerulean!"
He leaned over to James. "Can you tell the difference?" he whispered.
"Not a bit."
"Cerulean!" Dave called back.
"Thank you!"
"Yeah, those looked the same," James said. He nudged Dave lightly. "You doing okay? You're really quiet."
"Hm?" Dave said. "Yeah. Just...thinking." He looked at a display of brightly colored paints, picked one up, and dropped it back on the shelf. "I knew Spencer was in a bad place, but…"
His voice trailed off. "Yeah," James said quietly.
Dave dropped his hands in his pockets. Somehow it hadn't clicked that Spencer's life might have been miserable outside of St. Thaddeus. It was one thing to see him within the safe bubble of the school, nagging him about his disintegrating sneakers and his gross backpack. It was completely different to hear a child casually mention that he had to pay bills because there wasn't power in his home.
It rattled him. It rattled him more than he realized.
Penelope bounced over to them, her arms laden down with her treasures. "I think I've made my choices," she said.
"Give it to me," he said suddenly. "My treat."
Her blue eyes went round. "Dave, this is like...forty dollars' worth of crafting nonsense," she said.
"Yeah, don't worry about it," he said.
She squealed and flung her arms around his neck, smacking him in the face with a skein of yarn. "You're the best!" she said. "You're so nice! You have my undying love and affection!"
"Yeah, yeah, stop strangling me," he grinned. "JJ, you want anything?"
"No, not really, but thanks," she said. "I think Pen is going to make me something with this stuff anyway."
"Probably a scarf!" Penelope said cheerfully.
He paid for her treasures at the register and handed her the bag, earning another joyful squeeze from Penelope. "Let's go catch up with Spencer and Alex, I think they're in the bookstore," James suggested as they walked back out into the sunshine and the oppressive heat.
"Dave, how long has James been pining after Alex?" Penelope inquired.
"I'm not-"
"Third week of ninth grade."
James rolled his eyes. "I do not pine," he scoffed.
"Yes, you do," Penelope said. "You're as bad as Hotch when he's around Haley. At least Haley seems to be in on it. I don't think Alex has caught onto your swooning."
James turned red. "I do not swoon," he said.
"I don't know, you seem pretty swoony," JJ grinned, tilting her head up to look at him.
He opened the door to the bookstore a little more briskly than necessary. "It's not as bad as you guys think," he said. "It's really not. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go find some nice medical histories to bury myself in."
Dave waited for him to walk out of earshot. "I've got a pool going," he whispered. "What do you think- he'll ask her out before or after homecoming?"
"Valentine's Day," JJ said.
"Oh, Halloween at the latest," Penelope said. "Trust me. I'm really good at matchmaking." She grabbed JJ's hand and flung her bag of craft supplies over her shoulder. "Come on, Jayje, there's a book I need to show you!"
"All right, all right, you don't need to drag me!" JJ said.
Dave laughed as he headed towards the true crime section. Penelope was a little too optimistic about James confessing his feelings. At this rate, he wouldn't say anything to her until their twenty-year high school reunion.
He rounded the corner and found Spencer sitting crosslegged on the floor, a book open on his lap. "Hey, passerotto," he said. "Whatcha reading?"
Spencer held it up, his mouth pressed in a firm line. "Just a short story anthology," he said.
"Yeah?" Dave said. He hesitated, then sat down on the floor next to him. "Hey. I know you've been getting this a lot today. But I think we need to have a talk."
Spencer blanched. "Why?" he said.
"I know you don't want to accept any help," Dave said bluntly. "I know that's part of it, that you don't want charity." Spencer chewed at his lower lip, dropping his gaze to the floor. "But I think, after what you said-"
"I didn't mean to say it," Spencer said quickly. "I didn't."
He could sense the kid's panic building, heavy and palpable, so he gave him a moment, letting Spencer's breathing pick up and then slow down, pressing his fingers against his mouth. "Yeah, I figured you didn't mean to say it," Dave said gently. "But let me ask you this. Are you scared that Emily and I will be in trouble if we spend money on you?"
He caught the slight wobble in Spencer's lower lip, and then after a long moment he nodded.
"Kid, you don't have to worry," Dave said. He shifted around so he was a little closer, keeping his voice gentle. "Emily and I both have credit cards. We don't have bills to pay, we're just kids. We have credit cards from our parents because our parents don't have to worry about money, and they don't want us to worry about anything." He hesitated. "Not like you've had to worry."
Spencer bit at his lower lip so hard that a tiny drop of blood welled up. "Sometimes...sometimes my mom forgot to buy groceries," he confessed. "One time I ate ramen and vending machine snacks for two weeks because there wasn't anything in the house, and they wouldn't let me use her credit card at the store without her, and I couldn't reach the stove."
"Yeah?" Dave said. He rested his hand lightly on Spencer's back. The kid was so small and so thin that his shoulderblades jutted out into his palm. Something else he hadn't realized. "Well, that's not something you have to think about here. You don't have to go hungry or worry about the power getting turned off. And you don't have to worry about that for me or Emily either."
He could tell that Spencer was listening, weighing his words. But he didn't want to say anything that could scare him off, so he stayed silent, letting the kid think.
Finally Spencer turned towards him, his hazel eyes big in his pale little face. "You promise it's okay?" he asked.
"Absolutely," Dave said. Spencer nodded hesitantly. "Is that a yes? You're okay with us helping you?"
"Uh-huh," Spencer said.
Dave smiled. "I'm glad," he said, and he hoped Spencer could hear the sincerity that he could feel so fiercely. "I'm really glad, kid." He squeezed his shoulder. "You wanna go tell Alex? I think she'll be pretty excited to hear that."
Spencer nodded. Dave pushed himself up off the floor and helped the kid up. He wanted to say something else, something that might be reassuring or comforting, but he couldn't think of anything. Better to leave it to Alex.
Alex sensed Spencer hovering close to her side as they walked through the sliding glass doors into to Target. The other kids were still talking, loud and excited, and she silently reached for his hand. He grabbed on without a word, squeezing tight.
"So I think we should divide and conquer," Dave said. "Spencer, is there anything else you thought of?"
He shook his head. Alex rubbed her thumb over his knuckles. "Okay, wait, wait, can we please stop at Starbucks?" Penelope begged. "I need a PSL so badly."
"A what?" Hotch said.
"Pumpkin spice latte," Penelope explained. "The hallmark of fall. I can't adequately begin celebrating without one."
"It would help if it actually felt like fall and it wasn't a million degrees out," Derek said. "Why do you want to get hot coffee right now?"
She rolled her eyes. "I can get it iced," she huffed.
"You don't even like coffee!"
"I like these!"
"Okay, okay, stop arguing," Hotch said. "Penelope, go get Starbucks if you want it that bad." She beamed and zipped away. "Spencer, you're sure you can't think of anything else?"
He shook his head again, leaning closer to Alex until he was nearly holding onto her skirt. "Well, we'll go look at clothes," she said. "I'll take JJ and Penelope with us. You guys go look for the rest of the list."
"All right, text if you have any updates," Dave said. "Come on, the rest of you, let's go."
Alex looked down at Spencer and smoothed his wild hair. "What are you thinking about?" she asked. "I can see those gears turning."
He shrugged. "I'm okay," he said.
Penelope bounced over to them with her cup in her hands. "I'm ready now!" she said. "Let's go, let's go, let's go!"
"Oh, it might have been a bad idea to let her have coffee," JJ said.
"No, it's fine, it's mostly syrup and milk. I think that balances out the caffeine."
"Yeah...it doesn't work like that."
Dave dragged the cart over to the side. "All right, Derek, anything else you can remember off the top of your head?" he asked.
"No, I think we're going pretty good," he said. "Besides, everything else we haven't found here, Emily's found online."
She waved her phone, "Just tell me when to hit complete order," she said.
"I feel like we're missing something," Hotch said. He picked up a candle off the shelf, looked at the scent description on the bottom, and put it back. "I just can't think of it. It's killing me."
James cleared his throat. "Uh...he needs a booster seat," he said.
Hotch nearly dropped a candle. "Oh my god," he said. "I hadn't even thought of that."
"Oh, shit, yeah, I've been sitting next to him in the car and the seatbelt goes, like, right across his neck," Emily said.
"He's gonna fucking hate this, isn't he?" Dave said.
"Yeah, he is," James said. "But he needs it."
They got partway towards the correct aisle when suddenly Emily burst out "oh, fuck!" and darting down a different aisle. "Prentiss, what's wrong with you?" Dave called.
She emerged from the other end with her arms loaded up with bottles. "These are for me," she said, dumping them in the cart. "Pedialyte is great for hangovers."
"Are you going to make it a habit of getting drunk?" Dave said.
She grinned as she cracked open a bottle. "Eh, we'll see," she said cheerfully. "But better to be prepared, am I right? Isn't that like a boy scout thing? Or girl scouts?"
"I don't think 'be prepared' applies to 'I have a hangover from underage drinking'," James said.
She rolled her eyes. "Thanks, Dad," she said. "You guys go pick out the thing. Derek, come with me. We're going to go get the fun stuff."
Hotch frowned. "What fun stuff?" he said.
Emily was already halfway gone; she held her half-drunk bottle in the air. "To the toy aisle!" she shouted.
Alex could see how glazed over Spencer's eyes had gotten. Things had started off well, but JJ and Penelope had gotten a little too enthusiastic, and they'd gotten so excited to the point that they weren't even asking Spencer for his input.
"What about this one?" Penelope asked, brandishing a shirt over her head with one hand and her coffee in the other.
"Oh, I like that one!" JJ said.
Penelope tossed it in the cart. Alex turned to Spencer. "What do you think?" she asked. "Do you like it?" He shrugged, his hand pressed against his mouth.
"Ooh, what about-"
"Hey, I think we're just about done here," Alex interrupted as she drew Spencer closer to her side. "Can you two girls go find the others? Tell them we'll meet them at the register in a little bit."
As soon as the girls were out of earshot, she tugged lightly on Spencer's sleeve. "Hey," she said. "What are you thinking?" He shrugged. "So do you like all the things the girls picked out for you?"
"I don't know," he said.
She smoothed his hair away from his forehead. "You're allowed to say what you like and don't like," she said. "They're not going to be mad at you about it." He didn't seem convinced, and she grabbed a tee shirt out of the cart- neon blue with a cartoon character on it. "Do you really like this?"
"Not really," he admitted in a small voice.
She walked over to the returns rack outside the dressing room and hung it up. "Then you're not getting it," she said. Spencer seemed to brighten a tiny bit at that. "What about this?" He shook his head, and she hung it up too.
She went piece by piece through every item in the cart, hanging up everything that didn't meet with his approval. When everything was properly sorted out, she walked him back through the boys' clothing section, letting him wander and touch everything. She wasn't surprised at the things he picked out- soft solid colored tee shirts, striped button ups, cozy cardigans and sweaters.
He was bright-eyed and beaming by the time they were finished, the contents of the cart refilled with his new choices. "Can I get one more thing?" he asked.
"Of course, what are you looking for?" she said.
He grabbed a pair of dark blue shoes out of the the cart and zipped away, then came back with a pair of purple sneakers. "Can I get these instead, please?" he begged.
"Toss 'em in," she said. He set them gently down in the cart. "You ready?"
"Uh-huh," he said, trying to reach for the handle. She reached around and pushed the cart for him.
The others were waiting for them up at the front, their cart laden down with even more things- she could spot a new comforter and pillows in the mix, and some boxes hidden at the bottom that seemed suspiciously like toys. And on the top-
"Oh my god, I didn't even think about getting him a booster seat," she said.
Spencer's mouth dropped open. "Do I really need one of those?" he complained.
"Yes, you do," James said.
"I'm too old for a booster seat!"
Hotch frowned. "Spencer, what are the Tennessee booster seat laws?" he said.
"Oh, he's not going to know that," Emily scoffed.
Spencer sighed heavily. "Children under the age of eight and under four feet, nine inches must be in a belt-positioning booster seat system in the rear of the vehicle," he said.
"Hot damn, he does know it," Emily said.
"I'm older than eight!" he protested.
"But you're well under four-nine," Dave said. "You're like...three-ten at best. We're getting you the booster seat, whether you like it or not."
The happy glow faded fast from Spencer's face, leaving him pale and pinched. To Alex's surprise, he actually stuck out his lower lip in a frustrated pout. "Hey, it's getting pretty late," she said. "We should probably finish up here and head back."
"Yeah, yeah, you're right, let's go," Dave said, herding the flock towards the nearest register.
Trying to get everything out of the two carts and onto the belt with half a dozen people attempting to help turned into pure chaos. Spencer shrank back from their bickering, backing away towards a magazine display. She wasn't quite sure what to do with him- it was painfully obvious that he was tired and overwhelmed, but she didn't know if he'd be able to keep himself together, or how he might react if she tried to step in.
The breaking point hit when Emily and Dave started arguing over who was going to pay. It got heated quickly, the two of them hollering in Italian, Emily's sunglasses threatening to bounce off her head. It was almost comical, especially since it was painfully obvious that they were both a second away from cracking up, and the others were loudly egging them on, picking sides.
But Spencer kept fidgeting, his teeth digging into his lower lip, and she saw the sharp rise and fall of his shoulders. She caught James's arm lightly. "I'm taking Spencer outside," she whispered. "Just come get us when we're ready to leave."
He nodded, clearly caught off guard, and without lingering to explain, Alex took Spencer by the hand and firmly tugged him alongside her. "Where are we going?" he said, his voice rising in a whine.
"We're going to sit outside until it's time to go," she said. "You've had a long day, and there's a lot going on."
"No, no, no, Alex, I'm fine," he protested, trying to pull his hand out of her grip.
She walked him outside, holding onto to him tightly. The sun was threatening to set on the horizon, but it was still oppressively hot, lessened only by a soft intermittent breeze. She found a red bench in the shade and sat down, then pulled him onto her lap.
"I'm not a baby," he complained, half-heartedly trying to escape. "I could've stayed. I could've handled it."
"No, I think you're done," she said. "And that's fine. We're going to stay out here and wait for everybody else."
She half expected him to keep struggling, but instead he sagged against her, his cheek resting against her shoulder and his forehead tucked against the crook of her neck. His temper tantrum fizzled before it could properly start, the fight seeping out of his small body. Alex adjusted her grip on him, shifting until he was comfortable against her. She could have guessed this sort of thing was coming. She'd babysat plenty of kids his age; he'd had a hard day, and it shouldn't have surprised her to see him melt down.
She nearly lost track of time when she felt James's hand on her shoulder. "Hey, we're ready to go," he said. "I think we figured out the booster seat. Is he asleep?"
Spencer raised his head, rubbing his eyes. "'m awake," he said, sliding down from her lap.
James smiled. "C'mon, buddy, let's get you home," he said.
"Okay, there's a shit ton of stuff in here, so everybody has to help," Dave said. "I don't care if you're tired, you're all gonna carry things."
Hotch climbed out of the passenger seat as James's car pulled up and parked in the spot next to them. "But I am tired," Penelope said.
"There's like five bags of clothes, take some of them," Hotch said. She huffed and rolled her eyes.
Alex got out of James's car and leaned on the roof, beckoning to Hotch. "Hotchner, you're the biggest one, this is a job for you," she whispered loudly.
He screwed up his face. "Why?"
Emily joined Alex, her sunglasses pushed to the top of her head. "The baby's asleep," she whisper-shouted.
Hotch crossed around to the other side of the car and peeked inside. Sure enough, Spencer was fast asleep, buckled safely in his booster seat, his chin tipped to his chest and his hands limp on his lap. "Well, I guess I have to carry him," he said. Alex and Emily both nodded.
He unbuckled him carefully, pulling the straps off his arms, and lifted him cautiously; Alex kept her hand on his back to steady him. "You've got him?" she asked. "It's a long walk back."
"Yeah, yeah, I got him," he said, rubbing Spencer's narrow back. The kid leaned heavily against his chest, his cheek smushed into his collarbone and his arms draped over his broad shoulders, but thankfully he didn't wake.
Alex was right, it was a long walk back to Lincoln House. Spencer was small and slight, but he was dead weight in his arms. Hotch trailed behind the others, trying to keep from jostling him too much.
His arms ached by the time he got up the seventh floor. "Put him down on the couch out here so he can sleep while we get stuff set up," Dave said.
Hotch eased him down carefully; Spencer mumbled something in his sleep and rolled over onto his stomach. He watched him with baited breath, hoping he didn't wake up.
Derek shook out Spencer's favorite blanket and tossed it over him. "There, that'll keep him asleep," he said. He started to turn away, then paused. "Hotch. Stop worrying."
"I'm not worrying," he said as he smoothed the blanket over the kid.
"You gonna come help us?"
"Yeah, yeah...I'm coming. Give me just a second."
Penelope clapped her hands. "Okay, now can we wake him up?" she begged again.
JJ turned in a slow circle, scrutinizing the room from top to bottom. "I don't know, maybe we-"
"Yeah, I think we're ready," Dave said. "It's late anyway, we need to get out of here. Who's gonna get him?"
"Alex," James said immediately.
Alex laughed. "Fine, fine, I'll go," she said as James gave her a gentle push out the door.
Penelope nudged the new pens on Spencer's desk back into place. "It looks really good," she appraised. "Really, really good."
"It looks like I have an actual roommate," Derek said.
"Wait, wait, wait, everybody quiet down," Dave said. "Don't scare the kid."
Alex walked back in, her arm around Spencer's shoulders. He yawned heavily, his blanket clutched tightly in his grip. "Can I go to bed now?" he asked.
"Look around first though," Alex said, smoothing his untidy hair. "What do you think of your room?"
He glanced around, then paused and took a longer, slower look, his hazel eyes going wide. His side of the room was now neatly decorated- the bed covered in a purple galaxy print comforter and multiple soft pillows, his new pairs of shoes lined up nicely, a stack of brand new Lego boxes piled together by his desk waiting to be opened. "It's all mine?" he said in a tiny voice.
"Yeah, passerotto, it's all yours," Dave said.
"You need more photos of us to hang, but other than that, it's almost perfect," Penelope said. "But don't worry, we'll fix it."
Spencer leaned against Alex's side, clutching his blanket, his eyes completely wide. "It's...it's a lot," he whispered.
"Yeah, but that's a good thing," Emily said. She reached over and ruffled his hair. "There's a couple of things on the way too from the internet."
"You guys, it's getting late, and Spencer needs to catch up on his sleep," Hotch said. "We can all talk about this tomorrow."
"And play with the new Legos tomorrow," Derek mumbled.
"The Legos are for Spencer, not for you!" James said. "Hotch is right, everybody else out."
Penelope found herself bundled out of the room like everyone else, but she lingered in the common room, waiting. Alex slipped out of Spencer's room last, closing the door behind her. "Hi! I have something for you!" Penelope said.
Alex jumped back. "Oh my god, you scared me!" she exclaimed.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to!" she said. "I just want to give you this." She handed her a folded piece of pink stationery. "This is everything I could find about Spencer's parents. At least in ethical channels. I can find out a lot more if you would just let me-"
"No, no, this is a good start," Alex said. She opened the paper and scanned it quickly, then looked up. "His father works for the law firm he called?"
"Uh-huh," she said. "His parents are divorced. I didn't find too much on his mother either, except for her work information. She's a professor of medieval literature. And I just so happened to find her university email address…"
"Pen, you're the best," Alex said, squeezing her arm. "I'll send her an message right now."
"The offer's always open if you need me to keep looking!" Penelope called as Alex hurried down the stairs.
"I think we'll be fine, but thank you!" she called back. "This should be enough!"
Author's Notes:
This is a very long but hopefully cute chapter!
If you follow me on tumblr, y'all already know what's been going on- I had a bad anxiety attack over last week, and I just couldn't get this update out in time. So thank you for being patient with me!
Also I'm really tempted to record myself reading Hotch's southern accent lines so y'all know what they sound like. Magical.
Anyways! This is a short note, but come out to tumblr to hang out with me!
