A/N I made a tiny change to the last chapter after about 80 people had already viewed it. I doubt anyone would notice, but I realised I had gotten my 2006 days out of sync with my 1863 days (they started out right, but I got momentarily confused). So, in 1863, Mr Johnson is now expected back the following Thursday (the 15th), which works out to be Sunday 15th in 2006.

As always, many thanks to Stephenie Meyer for letting us play, and to MeSh17 for her advice.

And, thank you all for reading, and especially for reviewing.

This chapter published 27 April 2008. 2507 words.


Chapter Eight – Falling

"Alice, I'm just not sure I should leave right now," Jasper said into the phone, from his spot outside Bella's house on Friday morning. "She's getting more and more depressed each day and her dreams don't seem to be improving. The only time I see her a little happier is when we talk in biology."

He'd enjoyed seeing her in school this week—she had been at school each day, though Alice's visions of her continued to be unclear—but her dreams had been less pleasant to watch. She seemed to stay awake as long as she could each night and while her dreams had been largely uneventful, he could feel her getting more desperate for her Jasper's return, every day, especially as her mother was anxiously anticipating Mr Johnson's next visit.

Last night was the first time Edward hadn't stayed, so he didn't know what exactly she'd dreamed but he could feel her anxiety.

"Look, I just think we need more to go on. You and I didn't dig very far into your history the last time we looked," Alice reminded him. "Edward has pictures of people from her dreams, that match your memories, as well as people you don't remember. If you both go and just see what else you can find—"

"But to prove what?" Jasper asked, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "If we find pictures, she could have seen them too. If we don't, then unless I suddenly remember more... We can't tell if her mind is just making things up."

"But you don't believe that's what's happening."

"No, I don't."

"And I don't either—that dream memory she had that matched your memory..."

"Exactly!"

"So, go to Houston and rule out any photos of the two of you in those outfits. Find your sister's diary and read it! See what you can dig up about Isabella Williams and her family. See if you can find a photo of her."

They had already done as much research as they could online, but most of the materials they'd found—like two full journals of Mary Davis, nee Whitlock, one covering 1862–1864—were only given brief descriptions in the online catalogues they'd consulted. Jasper knew the best way to get more information was to go Houston and see the journal and other historical documents for himself, preferably, as Alice had suggested, taking Edward along so he could match any images they found—or any memories of his that popped up—to Bella's dreams.

After a minute of silence Alice started again.

"Look, maybe once you make the decision to go, I will see more visions and you won't have to go at all. Or once you get there, you'll make a decision that will give me more visions. Right now, I'm not seeing anything useful, and until you decide something, I'm not going to!"

"I know, Alice," he said. "I understand that. It's just—if there was going to be anything to find out, don't you think you would have seen it?"

"Maybe you haven't decided the right thing yet. And really, it's not as though you're doing anything for her here Jazz, standing outside her bedroom window all night. You're just making yourself miserable. If you really want to help her, I truly believe this is the best way to do it."

"I do what I can, when I see her at school," he protested. "And what about the decision we made—only a week ago—to stick together?"

"Jasper—"

"Wait a sec, I've got a call coming in from Peter, I'll call you back." He heard her sigh, as he pressed end on the call and answered his old friend.

"What's up Peter?"

"You need to go to Houston."

"What? Why?" Peter had a gift of "just knowing shit". It had always steered Jasper well and had been no small part of their many successes together in Maria's army so many years ago, but sometimes it was just annoying, especially the way Peter liked to keep things as cryptic as possible.

"I don' know bro, you know it doesn't work that way. I just know you've been thinkin' about it, and that you should do it."

"Well, that just sucks."

"There's somethin' else too."

"Okay—spit it out then!"

"I don't know—" Peter sounded concerned and also unsure of himself, which was out of character, but Jasper was tired, even though that should have been impossible for a vampire.

"What?" he barked, impatient. "Do you know something else or not?"

"Keep your shirt on," Peter said, "I'm tryin' to tell you. I know there's somethin'—or someone? Jasper, have you met someone? Someone of the female persuasion, perhaps?"

Jasper didn't answer. Truthfully, he wasn't sure what to say. He'd certainly met someone. But not the sort of someone Peter was implying, had he?

"Jasper?"

"What is it that you see Pete—just tell me."

"I don't see things. You know that. I'm not like your seer. I just get feelin's. And the feeling I'm getting is—you need to take care with this one."

"What? Do you think she's not trustworthy?"

"No, no, that's not what I meant at all. Although I'm not sayin' she is, either. I don't know—it's like my feelin's are all confused. I can't read things proper-like. But anyway—you're the empath, and you live with a seer and a mind reader. Shouldn't y'all be able to figure out whether she's trustworthy without my help?"

"Yeah, you'd think so, wouldn't you?" Jasper said, frowning up at her window. "But she seems to confuse us all. So, what did you mean then? Take care of what?"

"Of her, take care of her. I can't tell you more than that, I just think—somethin' bad is comin', and she's gonna need you. That's all I know."

"Great, but you just told me to go to Houston. How can I do both?"

"You go to Houston now, and don't be too long there. Although, Char says to tell you that if you are heading to Houston you'd best visit us on your way, or she'll done detach some body parts the next time she sees you."

"Fine," Jasper said, resigned. "Tell Char we'll see her tomorrow. I'm bringing Edward, but not Alice—she'll stay here and keep an eye on Bella, as much as she can."

As he ran home, Jasper reflected on his feelings towards Bella. Peter had seemed to be implying that she was—something more than he had been allowing himself to imagine.

On Tuesday and Wednesday Jasper had been disappointed to be kept from conversing with Bella in biology, as they completed the film from Monday's lesson.

But on Thursday, he had another chance. He remembered watching Bella in his peripheral vision, as she got her notebook out, readying herself for the lesson.

He knew Edward was right to advise caution. He needed to quiz her some more about her knowledge of Jasper Whitlock, to see what emotions that brought up for her and what explanations she gave. Did she even remember everything she dreamed when she woke each morning? Did she know who Jasper Whitlock was? Or did she think he was a figment of her imagination?

Either way, her shock when she saw him that first day would be equally understandable. As, he supposed, would be her apparent comfort in chatting with him. Regardless of how much she understood, there was a part of her that felt like she already knew him. Most humans shied away from him—from all of them—automatically, but she didn't seem to.

But they still didn't really understand what was going on, and although he had had that snippet of memory while Edward described her dreams on Sunday night, nothing else had come back to him since.

Her dreams most of the week had been unexceptional, aside from the fact that they were about the events of January 1863. She'd had no news of Jasper Whitlock, and no visits from her father's friend, though she had been able to sneak out to confide in his sister, twice.

From what they could tell, each night she would dream of events from that exact day in 1863, so if her so-called suitor—the thought made him growl aloud as he ran—was coming back on Thursday, that would be the 15th, and Bella would presumably dream about it on Sunday night. He hoped they would be back from Texas in time to 'hear' that dream.

In the meantime she seemed sad and worried, both in her dreams and in the present day. Jasper wished he could do more to cheer her up, to reassure her that everything would be okay. But, how could he? It wouldn't.

If her dreams truly reflected the past, then Jasper Whitlock wouldn't be returning for her.

So, he'd quizzed her about Jasper Whitlock on Thursday, but tried to keep the conversation as upbeat as possible. She seemed to like talking about him. She'd also mentioned playing with Mary, and talked about his mom, and he felt like he could almost access those memories. Her comments brought up hazy pictures of his sister as a little girl, but he couldn't be sure whether it was a memory or just his imagination.

And now? Although he still didn't remember anything much of Bella Williams—even assuming she had existed—he was becoming more and more intrigued by Bella Swan. But how long could he stay in her life? His charade of high school would only last for a few more months.

Could he follow her to college? What would be the point? Unless he let her into his world... He realised with a jolt that he was seriously considering that as a possibility. That he actually wanted her to know the truth.

As if she could possibly accept him as he really was, he thought bitterly. If she did remember her dreams, if she did see herself and nineteenth century Bella as one and the same—then he was the man who failed to come back, after promising he would. She didn't know it yet, but he never came back; wasn't there when she needed him. And if that wasn't enough, he wasn't that man anymore, he was a vampire, and one with a monstrous past. He knew Edward thought of himself as a monster, but he was a mere innocent compared to Jasper.

Generally, Jasper felt relatively at peace with his existence. Since he'd discovered he could survive on animals, he'd worked hard to gain control over his bloodlust, and was proud of his achievements. And he loved his adopted family. Living with three mated pairs was not always easy, but their almost constant happiness was like a drug to him, especially Alice and Emmett's simple joy in everything. He missed Emmett and Rose while they were away. And Esme's motherly love and acceptance of all of them was another source of empath bliss.

But when he thought of his time with Maria, he was still filled with shame, and the idea of sharing that with an innocent girl...it was abhorrent. She should never have to know such evil existed. And yet...he couldn't help but admit, there was a part of him longing to share everything with her...a part of him that was falling for this kind, innocent human girl. And that part continually forgot every reason he had for keeping his distance.

.

Friday morning was another cloudy, grey Forks morning, and Bella was torn between being relieved it was Friday—this week had dragged and she really was exhausted—and disappointed, knowing she'd miss the highlight of her days over the weekend—biology with Jasper Hale.

Not that she'd made any progress figuring him out. If she was supposed to be making friends with him, then she thought she'd made some progress, but not much. They talked every day in class, if only for a few minutes. But aside from their brief conversation in the lunch line last Monday, biology was all they had.

And even that was confusing. Yesterday he'd asked her some questions about Jasper Whitlock. She couldn't decide if he was genuinely interested, or if he was testing her story for holes. He kept asking questions that she was unable to answer honestly, and she was almost sure he was suspicious.

"So, tell me about this Jasper I remind you of," he'd said, his slight Southern drawl reminding her even more of his doppelganger from the past. "How do you know him?"

"I've always known him," she answered easily, "my whole life."

"Oh, is he someone you knew from before you left Forks then?" he asked. "Like the kids on the rez you were telling me about?"

"Oh no, I don't actually have many memories from when I lived here," she said, "almost none actually, just some vague impressions. No, I met him down South.

"Actually," she continued foolishly, just happy to be able to talk about him at all, "my earliest clear memory is of playing in the sand with Jasper and his little sister Mary. I think I was two, and Jasper was nearly three. Mary must have been about 15 months old. We thought we were so big, we were taking care of little Mary all by ourselves. Looking back, I guess Jasper's mama could probably see us from her kitchen. But she let us think we were in charge."

"She sounds like a good mom."

"She is. Was. Is. I mean—I don't see her much anymore. That was before we moved to Phoenix. But I'm sure she still is. She's always—I mean, she was always so good to me."

"Oh, so did you lose touch, then? Is that why you thought I might be him—you haven't seen him since you moved to Arizona?"

"Oh no," she said quickly, digging herself deeper, she realised now, but somehow needing to affirm that Jasper was still in her life, "not at all. But he's in the army now. I don't see him as often. But he visits whenever he can."

She realised now, she shouldn't have said that. Jasper would never show up in this life. Her Jasper. And if she was meant to befriend Jasper Hale, how could she explain that? She didn't want him to think she was just using him as a kind of fill-in.

And she wasn't, was she? She really did like him. Though truly it was hard to separate the two Jaspers in her head. They were so alike, not just in looks, but in manner.

She spent less than an hour a day with Jasper in biology, and most of that was taken up with school work. But when they spoke, he made her feel…special; listened to; almost—cared for. She wasn't really sure, even so, that she wasn't just imagining all that. Allowing her feelings for nineteenth century Jasper to sway her.

But she thought...she rather thought she could come to care for Jasper Hale quite a bit.


A/N Peter "just knowing shit" has become part of the fanon, but it's not canon – the idea originally comes from IDreamOfEddy's Colliding Meteors

As someone else said in a fic I read recently (you know who you are!) – Reviews make me SQUEE! (They also get sneak peaks of next week's episode!)

(Also, I think I've said this before, but it's worth repeating... feel free to tell me about typos. In fact, I would LOVE it if you would, so I can fix them. I KNOW proofreading is not my strongest skill. You can PM me if you don't want to look petty in a review, but I honestly don't mind if your review just lists the errors. It's all for the good!)

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Recs:

Older:
Girl in the Meadow by Simaril – I know I have recommended one of Simaril's before, but they are so good. I LOVED this story. /s/11029458/1/The-Girl-In-The-Meadow I may be a bit of a sucker for time travel stories...

Newer (but complete):
Looking for Love by Me4Jasper
This author has written loads of short – 1-2 or occasionally 3 shot Bella/Jasper stories, many for Halloween series' that are fun, quick reads, but this one is a little longer (7 chapters). Still essentially a fun quickie though /s/12823394/1/Looking-for-Love

(2021 - as I type it's been a long time since I updated, but if you are reading this now, just so you know, I am still working on it, and plan to start publishing again when I have the rest all completed. It's not abandoned. Or maybe I'll publish the next chapter quite soon and THEN wait until it's completed. we'll see.)