A/N. Thank you for the reviews! I'm picking up steam with the story and hopefully it will surprise you and keep you reading :)
Of course reviews are most welcome and needed.
Enjoy
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Sunniva waited until a lull came to the kitchen before she allowed her mind to drift to the reluctant duty she knew she must do. The evening meal was over and all the bustle of the day began to ebb as the workers left all thoughts of chores behind and hurried to whatever awaited their amusement. When she felt sure the right time had come and she could put the task off no longer, Sunniva left the stuffy, humid room and walked down the cool corridor. Her mind was already beginning to form what she would say and how she would say it. But an unpleasant knot of dread formed in her gut as she walked, telling her with its presence that there was a very good chance Éomer would not listen and the end result may be that he shut her out of his life for good without a backward glance. He was stubborn beyond reason when the mood took him, she'd seen it in his younger days when he had not yet reached his eighteenth year and he had been determined to prove himself as a great warrior. The rashness of youth had nearly cost him his very life... but Sunniva had to admit he had tasted sweet victory that day, taking only a small number of men to defend a nearby village against a band of invading Orcs, he had won and many still praised him for his bravery. But Sunniva knew such bravery was foolhardy and left many a house without its king.
She shook herself, Éomer was no longer that restless child and although he was sometimes still rash and his temper had worsened somewhat over the years, he had matured, he had grown as a warrior, as a man; had he not proven this to all the great men of the land through his actions in the War of the One Ring? Yes, he had and she knew his judgement was wise and just as the King of Rohan... but his heart was another matter, wise was not a word normally used by anyone but a fool when love was spoken of. She closed her eyes briefly, listening to the echo of her own footfalls as she prayed that he would not turn her away, that he would listen.
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Éomer had spent the day trying to put the past occurrences from his mind, but trying to banish Aedre from his thoughts was as impossible as moving the White Mountains from their ever present vigil over the city of Edoras.
It seemed most of the nobles had been able to drag themselves from their beds come the afternoon and when he entered the great hall many were already going about their duties, awaiting him. The daily papers, scrolls and chatter that went on about him was as important as it ever was and he replied with the forethought and seriousness that each task called for... but each respite he was given from the chores brought her eyes, her face back into his mind and he longed for the day to fade from golden hues to a purple haze. A change that meant he would soon see her, a sight that would tell him his fears of the morning were baseless, that he was being a fool, a weak fool. He had already chastised himself many times on this day for fawning away over such feelings. He was Éomer King, a warrior of Rohan, steadfast and the very image of what all warriors strove to be... not some romantic fool pining over a woman... his brow furrowed deeply with the thought. Was this what love did to a man? He did not like the feeling, he felt it made him weak, that it made him unworthy and yet he could bear it; he would bear it, for her.
He finally retired to his chamber and awaited Aedre's arrival, his eyes constantly flicking to the window, to see if the sky had changed enough to signal her coming while also trying to unsuccessfully engross himself in a scroll of old poems. The daylight slowly faded into a clear star sprayed sky. He kept his eyes upon the twinkling lights, their beauty seeming to ease some of the discomfort his mind suffered. He convinced himself that chores kept her from his side but he had at the very least expected her to bring his late evening meal as she so often did, but another girl accomplished the task and he felt a strange pull somewhere deep inside him. It was true uneasiness that clutched at him and he could not shake the fear that something was not right. He picked distractedly at the food, not tasting any of the roasted meat, nor feeling any hunger to enjoy it.
Finally he heard the door to his chamber creak open and stood abruptly from his chair to greet her long awaited appearance. Éomer felt the smile that had sprang to his lips fall as his eyes beheld no one else but Sunniva, the older woman closed the door carefully behind her and turned her gaze to his.
His annoyance that she had forgotten the customary knock that was due a king abated quickly as he took in the pale blue depths of her eyes that told him plainly he would not like the reason of why she had come. Nor would he want to listen to the words she would speak, but silently she implored him to try, for her sake.
Éomer felt his jaw muscle tighten as annoyance took hold, but he heeded some of her request and tried his utmost to keep his manner relaxed.
"Where is Aedre?" He asked calmly but his tone bore an edge of sharpness that he could not disguise.
"I asked her not to see you tonight." Sunniva said plainly.
Éomer narrowed his eyes at her, the pretence that this was a tranquil conversation was quickly wearing thin. "Are you intent on keeping her from me? You shall not!" He huffed a laugh and also spoke plainly. He and Sunniva had never been people to dance and tarry around a subject or their words, like close family they could not lie to each other without the other knowing.
Sunniva's face remained solemn and still. "I asked her not to come because I wish to speak with you."
"Of what!" Éomer scoffed knowing he sounded a little like a petulant child. "Will you ask me to never see her again?" He saw her hesitate and took his chance to strike, to let his anger tumble out in a hiss of disgust. "Do you think so little of me Sunniva?"
Sunniva's head snapped up, her eyes meeting his, searching. "I think more of you than you know Éomer." She paused as if struggling with her emotions, the blow had indeed hurt. "I love you as if you were my own."
"Yet still you think I would just use any woman I willed. You think I would use Aedre!"
Sunniva's face visibly hardened. "Yes." She said in a hard whisper. "Yes I do."
Éomer stared at her, stunned into silence, his anger lost for a small moment allowing Sunniva to speak her mind.
"Have you not done so in the past? Left broken hearts in your wake?"
Éomer found his mouth felt dry and the stunned feeling would not fully leave him. He shook his head. "No, I have left no broken hearts, I have hurt no one." He paused. "None of the maids I have had..." He paused again, speaking so plainly of such personal occurrences was difficult with Sunniva, like discussing his bed chamber frolics with his own mother. "None of them loved me nor I them!" His defensiveness kicked in bringing back some of his senses.
"You are a fool!" Sunniva's voice echoed around the room. "A fool." Her voice softened back into a whisper once more.
"All the women I have taken to my bed have done so willingly!" Éomer said defiantly, the embarrassment melting away with Sunniva's callous accusations.
"Aye boy, but what woman of low rank would have refused the Third Marshal of the Riddermark, what woman would now refuse a king!" She paused, watching his reaction to her words. "What woman could refuse the unspoken promise of power and love?"
Éomer shook his head. "I never promised anything." He repeated his defence.
Her eyes softened as she became aware he truly had been blind to such things through selfishness or stubborn will, only he knew. "Words often do not need to be uttered, the mind and heart are blind when they are entwined."
Éomer stared at her. "I did not know." Was all he could manage, the words seemed pitiful. "I never spoke of love or anything more..."
"Was your heart so bruised after young Mildryth that you closed your eyes to all that would love you?" Sunniva said with true caring.
Éomer's eyes flew to hers at the mention of that name, a name that he still hated the sound of. "What has she to do with any of this?" He snarled. "She was but a youthful pleasure."
Sunniva gave a small nod knowing this was a tender subject. "And Aedre, what pleasure is she?"
He returned his gaze to hers with a sharp movement. "You fear I will leave Aedre?"
Sunniva nodded sadly. "My boy, you have fire inside you. It burns hot and fierce and when you want something I think it clouds your mind." She took a deep breath in. "I cannot allow you to ruin Aedre, she already has little prospects... if you put a child in her belly all is lost for her. She will be disgraced for all to see. She could still have a life as she is; a quiet life of warmth, comfort and safety here in the Golden Hall."
Éomer studied her, processing all the words she voiced, allowing her to finish before he once again spoke. "You would condemn her to a life of tedium and condemn me to a life without her!" He blurted unable to hold back a moment longer. "Both are unbearable to me!" He paused for a small moment his mind rushing through the barrage of thoughts that tried to push themselves into his consciousness. "How can you claim to know her mind, her wants or needs?"
Sunniva looked kindly upon him, her patience, as always, tough and hardwearing despite the situation. "Please Éomer, think upon my words." She took a few steps forward and laid a hand softly upon his arm. "What when the time comes to marry? You will have to leave her, it will break her, she will die from such a blow... I feel it in my heart that it will destroy what remains of her sanity." The older woman felt her eyes begin to water at the image and wiped the tears roughly away. "The time will come when you will have to fulfil your duty as king and all follies will be left behind, when the time comes you will perform your duty and Aedre... Aedre will not understand that your kind words and caring manners were but a moment of folly, Aedre..."
Éomer suddenly shrugged her touch from his arm with a violent movement, halting any further words Sunniva had been about to speak. "You believe her to be a folly?" He spat his anger crashing against him with such force that he had to ball his hands into fists to prevent himself flinging over the nearby chair in rage. "She is no folly to me, she is..." He paused finding the words he wished to voice a hard task. "Everything!" He finally said in a fierce whisper.
Sunniva took a step back sensing his anger, but also his words stunned her, frightened her. Her eyes widened and she opened her mouth but Éomer cut her off before she had begun to speak. "And I love her." The words seemed to force some of the anger he felt away. Speaking them so plainly had somehow given him a sense of freedom, righteousness and peace. He closed his eyes briefly before opening them once again and fixing their hazel depths upon the distressed woman before him. "And I will marry her."
Sunniva stared at him for a long moment, knowing he had spoken those words but unable to believe it to be so. It seemed they stood in a stalemate of silence for many minutes before finally Sunniva was able to regain some of her mind. She gave a deep sigh, determined to say what must be said but knowing that her voice would shake as she spoke, she was unnerved by his confession and she could not hide it. She closed her eyes briefly before allowing her voice to once again fill the tension clouded room.
"You cannot... you cannot Éomer." Her voice did indeed shake and her tone was breathless. "You cannot love her."
Éomer frowned, his pride stung with her words. "I am lord of this house and I shall do as I bid myself to, I will not take counsel from an old serving woman!"
Sunniva felt as if the harshness of his tone and the content of his words had physically slapped her hard across the cheek, but she did not flinch, she made no move to indicate she had been wounded. "You are a great man Éomer king, a great ruler of your people, but this does not make you wise nor does it make you right!" She knew she placed herself on thin ground with these heated words. "You forget yourself, you forget your promise to your uncle and the kings of old!"
Éomer stared at her long and hard. "You talk to me as if I were a child who knew not his own mind! You think I speak lightly of what I feel?"
Sunniva bowed her head. "Yes, I have to think you do not speak with the truth of your heart." She closed her eyes as if pained. "I have to believe that you mistake fondness for something more."
Suddenly Éomer grabbed hold of her by the shoulders his grip strong and forceful, but also gentle, he would never intentionally hurt this woman but he had to make her understand. "Sunniva." His voice seemed to slip back into the deep, smooth tone she was so used to hearing when he was untroubled, perhaps he forced this tone to will her to listen. "Look at me."
Sunniva did as she was bidden, her eyes connected with his and tears welled and trickled down her cheeks at what she saw in the depths of his gaze, truth and nothing more.
"I love her Sunniva."
Sunniva shook her head, but the action lacked conviction, before a small sob escaped her lips. At the sight of her distress Éomer led her to his chair by the unlit fire. Sunniva sat down heavily and brought her hand to her brow. Finally when she had regained herself she looked up at Éomer, her eyes still glistened with tears she had refused to let fall.
"My boy." She said in her kind, warm voice. "You know the path you wish to take, that you seek cannot come to pass." She paused. "You learnt this many years ago with Mildryth. You were young and in the first blush of youth. You cared for her, how could you not my boy. She was pure sweetness and goodness to her very spirit. It tore your heart to leave her, to know you could not have her. Yet you did it because it was your duty, you understood this then, why can you not remember it now!"
Éomer shook his head and came to rest upon his haunches before her. "Because my dear Sunniva." He took her hands in his own. "I was not in love, I did not love her enough to fight... I love Aedre enough... I cannot live without her, I will not."
Sunniva took one of her hands from his grip and wiped it across her brow again. "They will never allow it. The law will not allow this." She paused, her mind reeling. "What you are asking would destroy ancient traditions, the way of the Eorlingas." She studied the young man before her. "You ask much of your people and I do not think their love for you will be enough to make them abandon our tried and tested ways."
"It is but a tradition, what makes a woman of rank or power more fitting than any other woman!"
"It is not that easy!" Sunniva's voice was strained, pleading. "You speak with your heart and perhaps you speak the truth, but you cannot break tradition for your own means."
"Why?" Éomer said briskly, standing from her and making his way over to the open window, his eyes longing for the sight of those reassuring stars once more. "There is no form or reason for it to be so, would my people have me wed to someone I feel nothing for?" He threw up his hand in a gesture of near despair. "Would they chain me to a life of resentment?!"
Sunniva stood abruptly at his words, unable to keep her seat a moment longer. Éomer saw the look upon her face was grave, her eyes and posture asking silently if he really meant what he said.
"Yes, resentment for I shall resent any woman I am bidden to marry that is not her!"
"Éomer." Sunniva's voice was a breathless sigh. "You cannot mean..."
"I mean every damn word by Bema!"
Sunniva placed her hand over her mouth at the sound of the great Vala's name spoken in vain. While the men of Rohan often used this term it was unsightly to say such a thing in the presence of a woman and although Sunniva had often heard Éomer utter it in moments of great anger, she had never heard him speak it with such force and threat as he used it now.
Éomer shook his head. "The people of Rohan ask much of me if that is what they wish."
"They will not consent." Sunniva said, her face strained with worry and dismay. "They will not!"
Éomer turned his gaze to the stars, allowing them to work their soothing magic upon him. "Then I will have to find another way." He wasn't even sure if he meant these words, he knew they had hidden meaning in them, what his mind dwelt upon in this moment. But he had not considered such a thing before and he was in no mood to ponder upon such thoughts, he was angry and frustrated and clutched at anything to make this woman understand.
Sunniva's hand clutched at her breast in distress. "What do you mean?!" Her voice was breathless once more, the tone already bearing the alarm that she had guessed his mind. "You cannot mean..."
"I know not what I mean!" He whirled to face her. "I cannot think over such things in the little time you have given me..." He paused. "Even Aedre does not fully know where my heart lies."
Sunniva's eyes brightened but she remained silent.
"I only know that the thought of losing her is unbearable to me." He frowned. "And the thought of marrying another is unthinkable."
Sunniva hesitated before coming to his side and grasping his upper arm in a plea for him to listen. "Hear me Éomer King, hear what I speak to you now and by the grace of the Vala you will heed me. Think upon your actions, your position and your people. Temptation harks you to listen to it, but do not for the sake of us all. A girl is worth nothing compared to the lament and destruction a civil war brings."
Éomer looked at her, holding her gaze as she continued to speak.
"You think your mind is hidden, but it is not, not from me. For the love of your people Éomer do not leave this house, this hall for others to bicker and kill over... not over a woman. Greater cities than ours have fallen for such love, would you have our lands and ways blur into such legends?" She paused, her eyes welling with tears. "I know your mind had only touched upon this idea, you feel cornered, harried... do not allow your mind to settle upon this choice, it means destruction. Love is powerful, I know, but sometimes you must sacrifice temptation for the good of others." She took in a gulped breath claiming back her voice from a sob. "You are not a selfish man and you are a great king, the last of the true line apart from your sister." She gulped again. "If you turn your back on this land, all is lost... all is lost!"
Éomer turned to her fully, his hands scooping up hers, he pressed his lips to her knuckles. "Do not weep Sunniva."
Sunniva tried to suppress another sob by pushing her lips tightly together but she was unsuccessful and she let out a sorrowful gasp.
"I would not abandon my home, it would take more than all the wild horses upon the plains to tear me from my rightful seat here."
Sunniva gave a weak smile, showing him she was a little reassured by his words of comfort.
"But I cannot give her up Sunniva... I will not." He paused. "Can you not understand? I would will you to as I value you by my side."
Sunniva inclined her head in a reluctant nod, she knew his will could not be swayed, his foot was already planted firmly upon this path and where it would take him, Aedre, and the people of Rohan, only time would tell. She shivered at the thought as dread curled up to stay within her stomach.
