A/N
Thank you for the reviews, right now they are very helpful in giving me the push I need to write.
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The day passed in a torment of slowly moving time for Aedre, her nerves near threadbare with constant worry. She could not erase the look she had seen upon Éomer's face that morning, he was uneasy and fretful. Perhaps he did not feel that any of the arguments he faced today would be won in his favour... perhaps he knew the battle was already lost.
Sunniva, although working closely beside Aedre, was of little comfort. Both women were lost in their own thoughts, unable to offer any kind word or gesture to the other, afraid that to acknowledge what was happening would somehow jinx the outcome and so they buried themselves in work, trying to think of nothing else but the task currently before them.
Finally night fell, cold and unrelenting, a winter frost brushing teasingly upon the breeze. Aedre and Sunniva completed their tasks and waited patiently for the other women and servants of the hall to retire. The time lingered unwearyingly until the hour grew late and the kitchen empty, save for the two of them and the crackling, warm fire.
"It is time" Sunniva said, almost in a whisper. "Though my heart feels so heavy that I do not want to stand." She slowly looked at the young, worried girl before her. "Talk in the Golden Hall has been of Éomer King losing his temper with the nobles... I know not more than this." Sunniva brushed a hand distractedly across her brow. "I fear this news does not bode well."
Aedre stood abruptly from her seat and went to Sunniva, placing her hands over the older woman's own, her expression silently asking why she had not revealed this information earlier. She had been waiting all day for a scrap of news.
"You had worry enough to deal with, there was no need to fire your imagination into thinking dark thoughts when neither of us knew the truth of the matter." She paused and let out a tired sigh. "Until we speak with Éomer I will not believe the rumours of the hall, they may be just rumours."
But Aedre could see Sunniva did know the truth, or had at least gained enough of it to lay a heavy weight upon her heart. Today had not gone as any of them had wished and Sunniva was reluctant to travel to the king's chambers for she feared what they would find there.
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Aedre's legs felt heavy, her footsteps sluggish, as the two women made their way through the dim corridors of Meduseld. Her thoughts raged in turmoil and irritation, why hadn't they just let things be as they were? Now everything would change, had to change... her body shuddered at the realisation.
They entered Éomer's chambers after the briefest of knocks and a voice bidding them to enter. Aedre's eyes instantly sought out his outline as he leant against the stone fire surround, the flames blocking out all colour so only his shadow could be glimpsed. Without seeing his face Aedre sensed his mood, angry, frustrated and dark. Within that moment she wanted to rush to him and wrap her arms about him, offering him a small gesture of solace in his time of need, but her feet would not move from the place she stood and so she watched helplessly as Sunniva closed the door behind them and approached the king.
Sensing someone near him, Éomer looked up from his deep contemplation and greeted Sunniva with a stiff nod. Sunniva took a seat nearby and patiently waited as the young man before her tried to make sense of his tangle of thoughts and form them into words. Silence followed for what seemed like an age until finally the older woman spoke.
"You seem tired" she said softly.
Éomer gave another stiff nod.
"Are the events of this day... too soon and fresh to speak of?" she pushed gently.
Éomer seemed to gather himself and shook his head. "No, I am lost in them... I am glad you came." He paused. "Where is Aedre?"
At the sound of her name passing his lips Aedre's body relaxed and she came forward into the glow of firelight, announcing her presence. Éomer smiled but to Aedre his eyes seemed sorrowful.
"It did not go well" he finally said, sadly.
"There is some talk in the hall... I had thought this to be so."
Éomer shook his head. "I raised my voice..." he began, but Sunniva cut in.
"You mean you lost your temper?" She gave a small understanding smile.
Éomer frowned. "Yes, I lost my temper."
Aedre took a seat on the large fur rug, resting her back softly against Sunniva's legs as she listened.
"They would not hear me fully, but continued on their self righteous speeches of what my duty to Edoras and its people was, what was expected of a king." He wiped a hand angrily across his brow. "That if she had been of noble blood, perhaps it could have been spoken of in length, but an orphan, a woman of no bearing, was not acceptable as the wife of a king of Rohan."
Sunniva pondered his words, thinking of what she could say to ease the ill feeling that surrounded him, but she had always known in her heart this would happen, no matter how much she had tried to deny it or look upon a more positive path, this had been her fear from the very start.
"Such men are not easily dissuaded from the old ways Éomer, ways that are held onto in times of need, they think you ask too much."
Éomer turned to face her fully. "But we know nothing of Aedre's past, perhaps she is from a great family, a family that had noble bearing, these men cannot know anything... I once convinced myself that riches and birth were everything after..." He paused, not wanting to think of his harsh past lesson in the ways of love. "I convinced myself they meant everything, but they mean nothing. You know as much as I that Aedre is kind hearted, good and brave, her past is no less than a nightmare a bard would make up to scare children... she is more worthy than any other woman in this land to be queen of Rohan!"
Sunniva stared at him intently. "Yes" she said slowly, "perhaps... although I know little of her past." She eyed Éomer with a small hint of suspicion. "What are these nightmares you speak of?"
Éomer glanced at her, suddenly realising he had spoken more than he intended to. "These things matter not in this moment Sunniva."
Sunniva gave a nod, but her face betrayed her displeasure at the secrets being kept from her. "Tell me more of what happened?" she said, wanting to move the conversation along.
"That was all they would say, I tried to argue my case, that the old ways could be changed in certain ways, ways that would not damage Rohan... but they refused to listen. The hour grew late and they said we would have to meet again to discuss the matter further." He paced before the fire, trying to still the anger these memories brought bubbling back to the surface.
Sunniva hesitated. "Did you tell them who your intended woman was?"
Éomer's frown deepened. "No, of course not!" He sighed, knowing he should not be venting his frustration on those that only wished to aid him. "I said I would not speak her name until a decision had been made, for fear that the rumours would hurt her and her position here."
"But they know she lives in the Golden Hall?"
"Yes, that I could not keep from them. They asked so many questions about her, that I had to bend a little to avoid displeasing them further."
"I understand your choice, the rumours will certainly not point to Aedre, no one would suspect her of being in your affections." Sunniva hadn't meant for the words to sound harsh but to Éomer's ears they did and he again had to remind himself that she was here by his side to aid him. "What can be done now?"
"I will have to meet with them again, if still all goes ill I will have to look to the people of Rohan, only their voices would be able to sway the minds of the council at that point."
"If that happens you will have to reveal Aedre's true name and face, the people will want to see the woman you would have as queen."
Éomer nodded. "I am hoping I can still find a path that is not so laden with danger. Baal said he will aid me in any way he can, his free thinking ways have become a Valar sent blessing." Éomer paused. "I once thought him a romantic fool for his thoughts and now I find I need and rely on him more than I ever deemed I would."
"Perhaps..." Sunniva paused, her words and manner unsure. "It would be best for now if Aedre did not stay here at night." She saw Éomer's look darken and hurried the rest of what she wished to speak. "The danger of being discovered hangs above us even more, if it were to become known that she was the woman you held in your affections do you think her life would be one of ease?" Sunniva shook her head. "People can be cruel Éomer, of this you know only too well. If they feel she threatens their ways, the ways of Edoras and disrupts the balance... life in Meduseld would become nothing but misery for Aedre and for you."
Éomer seemed to mull over her words, the furrow on his brow creasing with annoyance and resentment, he knew Sunniva's words to be the truth.
"I know it is a hard choice, to love another is to need them as you need a drink of water when you thirst... but it must be done Éomer, surely you can see this?"
Finally Éomer turned to her; he hesitated as if words would not easily come to his tongue and instead gave a nod.
"I will not take her with me now, I will return for her within the hour, it is late but I will fetch you both a bite of supper." She let out a small sigh. "Tonight is not the night to linger on memories of this day, sleep and a fresh day will present new paths we could not see before."
"Yes" Éomer replied stiffly. "That is true."
Sunniva pushed herself out of the chair, patting Aedre's shoulder tenderly as she did so. "I will leave you to be alone and to talk, for although Aedre has been here with us we have not included her in our discussions and she must understand how delicate this time has become, we must all tread carefully." She gave Éomer a stern look she knew he would understand.
Éomer felt a sharp sting at her words, it was true he had not spoken to Aedre once since she'd entered, neither of them had, almost treating her as if she wasn't there. "Yes." He repeated the word, feeling like a child who had been scolded.
Sunniva nodded and reached out, squeezing his forearm reassuringly before taking her leave of them.
Once they were alone, Éomer turned his attention back to the fire, his mind turning over the day's events and how he could explain them to Aedre. He watched the flames dancing, wishing in that moment that he did not have to explain anything, that he could just be with her as he had been on many a night, calm, relaxed and warm. Knowing he could delay the conversation no longer he turned to find she stood but a few feet behind him, watching him with sad, concerned eyes. Within that one expression he knew she had understood enough of what had been said on this night. Things had not gone well and she could no longer meet him as freely as she once had, that was all that mattered to her and all she needed to understand. Éomer felt his heart plummet for making her go through this, he could have done as she had asked and allowed them to continue their meetings in secret... but he only allowed that foolish regret a moment to surface before he pushed it back down.
While it was true that if he had chosen that path, their lives would have been merry and carefree until the day came that the council and his people called out for a queen, an heir and a traditional kingly life from him, then the fantasy would have been shattered. The many years they had spent in happiness together would be naught but broken pieces that could never be mended... and if he was truthful with himself he too wanted the life that was expected of him, a wife, children... and he wanted it all to be with her.
He tried to smile, but knew that it was awkward and unconvincing. "Today has not gone well" he said in a soft whisper.
Aedre gave a small, sad nod in understanding.
"I am angry, nothing more Aedre. The men in the council do not understand... they do not listen." He paused, watching her reaction. "You know this well, I have complained many times of how they anger me."
Again she nodded.
"One bad day does not mean all days shall be dark." He smiled again, this time with more conviction. "I will speak to them again, I bear no concern. I know they will soon see my way has a good end, that it is right."
She glanced up at him and he held her gaze with his own, not allowing her to look away.
"Do not worry" he soothed. "Our parting will be brief and I will see you as much as I can." Feeling her trepidation, Éomer walked the few paces to where she stood and wrapped her in a warm, comforting embrace. "All is not lost" he murmured, pressing his lips against her brow.
Aedre nodded against his chest, but in her heart she felt no solace in his words, or his arms.
