24: Part Two, Chapter Three
Word Count: 3748 ; First Published 21 January, Australian time.
And as always, thanks to Ms Meyer for permission to play with her characters and mess up her sand pit. Not all writers are happy for fans to make a mess of their work, so I am very grateful for her graciousness towards us!
Chapter Three – Foreboding
The drive to Sequim on Tuesday morning took just over an hour and a half with Charlie at the wheel of the cruiser. Bella knew it would have been faster with Jasper driving, not to mention more comfortable, but she couldn't deny her father the chance to take care of her, even if it did mean arriving at the hospital in a police car.
She'd be staying in hospital until late on Wednesday, and she'd convinced Charlie to let Jasper drive her home so that, in theory, each of them had to make the three hour round trip only once. She knew Jasper would be around the entire time anyway, although Carlisle had told her they wouldn't let any visitor stay in her room for too long, due to the risks from the radiation. And no-one pregnant or under the age of eighteen could visit at all. It did make her wonder just how logical it was to subject her own body to that same radiation, but that seemed to be the inevitability of cancer treatment. To kill off the cancer, you put something in your body so toxic you just had to hope the cancer succumbed before you did.
Jasper had told her he would be nearby the whole time, but wouldn't make himself known until Charlie left. However, since Charlie only left when she was wheeled off to the operating room, she didn't see him before the procedure.
Dr Simpson had explained that they would be placing her under sedation, before placing small radiation seeds directly into the tumour. There they would stay, the radiation seeping out, until Wednesday afternoon, when they would be removed.
She could have visitors during that time, but they must stay behind a line on the floor that would be six feet from the bed, which would also be surrounded by portable radiation shields.
Jasper had scoffed at the restrictions, assuring her the radiation wouldn't hurt him, and that he'd be right next to her as long as he was able. The restrictions on visit length would be harder to get around though, so Alice and Esme had insisted on visiting too.
"You really don't need to come," Bella had tried to assure them. "I won't be able to move or do anything much. Dr Simpson told me it's important to stay still as much as possible, to prevent anything moving. But I can watch TV and maybe read."
"Or I can read to you!" Alice had enthused.
"Or we can watch television together," Esme added.
In the end, she dozed through most of Tuesday, having slept little the night before. Although she was regularly disturbed by nurses charged with having her move (slightly) and breathe deeply at regular intervals through the day, it did seem to pass relatively quickly, with most of it spent asleep. It was still pleasant to have company though, and she was grateful Alice and Jasper were able to take the time off school. Jasper had insisted he wouldn't go back to school until Friday, and would take the following week off as well.
"Think about it," he'd said when they'd discussed it on Monday night. "If you were really dying, would anyone expect me to just keep going to school as though nothing was wrong?"
"Well, they might," Bella had replied. "I might. I might want to see you graduate from high school and know that you had a life ahead of you. If you were a normal human I mean. Think how much worse it would be to be repeating year twelve next year, when I'd used up all the treatment options and was actually dying or dead."
"Okay," Jasper acknowledged. "But the fact is, I've graduated from high school multiple times already. So this time, I'm just not going to worry about it. I'm actually thinking of withdrawing altogether like you have, but Carlisle is against it, for the same reasons you just gave, or rather, because that's what other people will be thinking. I'm keeping an open mind for now."
Jasper snuck back in, late on Tuesday, and spent the night holding her, though even through the night he had to hide for regular medical checks.
It wasn't until late Wednesday morning that Bella realised Jasper's tension was more than just about her health. She was more alert than she had been on Tuesday, but her throat felt raw and painful, and she was still feeling ridiculously—it seemed to her—exhausted. Still she'd watched as much television as she could stand. She muted it and turned to Jasper, where he was sitting next to her on the bed.
"I'm glad I spent the day with Charlie on Sunday," she told him, her voice raspy, "and let him bring me in yesterday. If this is how I feel with just this bit of radiation, which is not even really entering my whole system, I can't imagine how the chemo is going to make me feel."
"It's not going to be easy," Jasper said, handing her some water to sip on. He sighed. "Charlie enjoyed spending the time with you, too. I know you want to spend as much time with him as you can…"
"I do," she said. "As long as it's safe. But I don't know…" she took another sip of water. "I'm sure if I had no other option, I would just tolerate the chemo, however awful it is. But I'm already wondering how long I'll last. I do want to stay human, and spend time with my dad—and Renee too—for as long as I can, but…"
"You don't have to undergo chemo at all you know," Jasper told her. "After the radiation and having the stent placed, you should be able to eat more easily, at least for a while. That alone will improve your health."
"I know, but not very much. And I don't want it to seem like I'm just giving up. I want my parents to see me fighting this."
"Yeah, I know, darlin'." Jasper sighed again.
"Hey, what's wrong? I thought you were behind this? It was your suggestion to try one round of chemotherapy and see how I go."
"I know, it was. It's just—maybe you should delay it a couple of weeks. Take more time to build up your strength and immune system again."
"Well, that sounds like it makes sense, but Dr Simpson was pretty clear that time is of the essence. If that really was a good idea, I think she would have suggested it." She frowned at him. "Which you know. What's going on?"
He sighed again, and moved to face her properly, his back to the end of the bed. "I didn't want—That is, I wanted to wait until you were through this procedure and home again before I told you…" He trailed off, and reached for her hand. "You shouldn't have to worry about anything but recovery right now," he added.
She took another sip of the water she still held in her other hand, before she spoke. "You're kind of scaring me, but whatever it is, maybe it will take my mind off how crap I feel right now."
"Okay, it's just…I asked Carlisle to look into the exact dates Isabel Dawson and Arabella Reilly died. Carlisle had assumed Isabel Dawson died shortly after he left Chicago, during the flu epidemic, but she actually recovered. She died the following year, on February thirteenth. That's the same date you died the first time. She was eighteen."
Bella felt her mouth drop open. "Oh my god. And Arabella Reilly?"
"The same," he said. "February 13th, 1962."
"And she was eighteen," Bella finished for him, quietly.
"Yes. And they both shared your birthday."
"And so you're worried that—"
"There's every reason to hope for a better outcome for you," Jasper said. "Neither Arabella nor Isabel had access to the sort of treatment you have. Isabel was never treated at all, and Arabella was only diagnosed a week before she died."
"Wow, so we got there a whole two weeks earlier!"
"Hey, that's a two hundred per cent improvement! Don't knock it. Plus, you hadn't found me in either of those lives. I can't believe that doesn't count for something."
"Definitely." She leaned back and closed her eyes. "I can see why you want me to be at my best health I can be, though," she said.
"I can't lose you, Bella. Not now. Not ever!"
"You won't," she said. "I'm sure of it. This time is going to be different."
"You weren't so sure on the weekend."
"I know." She opened her eyes and sat forward, squeezing his hand. "And, Jasper, even though I am going to be fine, will you promise me something?"
"What is it?"
"Promise me, if—if I do die again, you won't do anything stupid. You'll wait for me. You know I'll be coming back for you, so you have to wait for me."
"Bella—"
"Promise me!"
"Of course," he said, "I will wait for you. Although—"
"No!" She cut him off again. "No 'although'! Do not start talking about it being better if you died, and we could both be human again, or we could be in heaven or something. You wait for me!" Her throat was so sore she was almost whispering, and she took several sips of water before she could take a deep breath. She could feel the tears wanting to escape her eyes, and took several deep breaths to try to get herself under control.
"Okay, Bella. Okay," Jasper said, reaching up to thread his fingers through her hair and cup her cheek with his palm. "I promise, I will wait for you, if the worst happens and you die before I can change you. But I also promise I will do everything I can to make sure that doesn't happen!"
He pulled her into his arms, and she buried her face in his neck, just focussing on breathing deeply and not bursting into sobs. "I don't want you to be with some other version of me though!"
"Sorry!" Jasper gasped out suddenly, and before she knew what was happening, he was on the other side of the room.
"Wha—" she started, bewildered. But before she could get the question out, the door opened, and a nurse came in.
"Sorry," she said to Jasper, "but your time's almost up, you'll need to leave shortly." Then turning to Bella, "How are you feeling, dear?"
"I'm fine," she said, taking another sip of water afterwards. "My throat's a bit sore."
"Your heart rate was quite elevated there a minute ago."
"Oh! I was just, you know… thinking about things," she said to the nurse.
"Okay," the nurse said, though she sounded a little doubtful. "Do you need anything for the pain?"
"No, I'm fine," she repeated, though she could see Jasper frowning at her.
"Alright. I'll be back in a while." She turned to Jasper again. "Five minutes young man."
"Yes ma'am," he replied.
With the nurse out of the room, Jasper was back on the bed in less than a heartbeat.
"Hey," he said, lacing his fingers into her hair and tilting her face towards him. "We are going to make this work. We are going to keep you safe, and you are I—you, Bella Swan, not some other version of you—and I are going to be together forever. Do you hear me?"
"Yes, sir!" she said, smiling at him.
"Okay, I have to go for a while, but first…"
Her eyes flicked down to his lips as he tilted his head down towards her, angling his lips over hers.
"Let's get that heartbeat back up and shock the nurse again," he murmured over her lips, half laughing, until her lips parted, and she slipped her tongue out, rubbing it against his lower lip. She felt his moan through her hands which had slid up onto his chest. Her own moan answered him, as he sucked her lower lip gently into his mouth. By the time he pulled away, she was panting, and definitely wanting more.
…
It had been a relief to get out of hospital on Wednesday afternoon, and even more so to get home to her own bed. But Thursday afternoon found Bella reclining in yet another hospital bed, this time in a private room in Forks General.
She was paying vague attention to the television news, but thinking more about her treatment so far. She was sure the procedure she'd just undergone—having a stent placed, to help keep her esophagus open—wouldn't usually result in a private room under her father's health insurance. In fact, she rather thought she would have been released by now. But Jasper had told her that the rest of the family was taking the opportunity of her hospital stay to hunt together, so she supposed it made sense to stay here where Carlisle was nearby and Jasper could stay with her. She'd given up any idea she had of not letting them pay for her to get better treatment than she might otherwise do. This was all hard enough, not only for her but for Charlie and Jasper. She might as well embrace anything that made it easier.
She was almost dozing off, leaning against Jasper and letting the voice of the news anchor wash over her, when she felt Jasper noticeably tense next to her. She glanced at him and saw that he was focussed on the television. Tuning in she realised they were talking about a recent spate of murders and disappearances in Seattle, announcing two new bodies found overnight.
"Is something wrong?" she rasped out. Her throat was sore, even more so than before this most recent procedure, making speech somewhat difficult, and Jasper passed her some water before he answered. She took a sip, but then waited, looking up at him expectantly.
"Jasper?" she asked, when he still hesitated. "What is it? Do you think it's a vampire committing all those murders?"
"Not a vampire," he said. "Many vampires. Remember what I told you about the newborn wars?"
"You think they've moved up here?" she asked, horrified, sitting up to face him properly. "Why would that happen all of a sudden?"
"No, that's not what I meant. But I do think someone is creating a newborn army in Seattle."
"Oh my god. But why?" She looked at him, but he wouldn't look her in the eye. "Wait, what aren't you telling me?"
"Alice has had some visions over the past couple of days. Just flashes mostly, nothing conclusive. You know she's been trying to watch for Victoria?"
"Victoria's making an army?"
"Maybe," he said. "Alice has been getting flashes of her with some other vampires. But we already knew she had at least two other vampires helping her, from the trails we've found around Forks."
"And?" she said. "I can tell there's still something else. What else has Alice seen?"
"I told you, it's not clear, but…" he trailed off, and looked down at her consideringly, as if unsure how much to tell her. She just stared back at him, challenging, hoping he could feel her determination to know everything. Finally, he started again. "She's seen Maria, as well as Victoria, in some of the visions," he said in a rush. "It looks like she's coming to Washington."
"You think she's helping Victoria?"
"Maybe," he said again. "I didn't think Victoria knew who I was, but if she did, or she found out somehow…"
"What do you mean? Who you were?"
"Uh…" He avoided her eyes again, and ran his fingers through his hair.
"Hey." She took his hand in hers and squeezed it, waiting for him to look at her. "You know you don't have to tell me anything about your past you don't want to, right? But whatever it is, it won't make me think less of you."
He squeezed her hand back. "Do you know how amazing you are? Here you are, in constant pain, voice all raspy, dying of cancer, and you're comfortin' me." He leaned in to gently kiss her. "I love you, Bella Swan Williams." He leaned back again, and his expression turned serious. "The God of War," he said suddenly. "That's what I used to be known as, back when I was with Maria."
He sounded so embarrassed, she was sure he'd be flushed bright red if he still had blood in his veins. She laughed. She couldn't help it. "The god of war? You are kidding right?"
One side of his mouth turned up in a slight smile. "I didn't come up with it!" he said. "Though I have t' admit, I didn't discourage it either. It was quite useful at the time, being feared that much. Saved us from a lot of fights."
"So, you think Victoria might have recognised you—or somehow found out who you are—and gone to Maria for help?"
"Honestly darlin', I don't know. I actually don't reckon she did recognise me. I don't say this to be arrogant, but she would've been putting out a lot more fear if she'd recognised me straight up." He looked thoughtful. "I just can't figure what Maria would be doing with her otherwise though."
"But they're definitely together?"
"No, not definitely. The visions are so fragmented, it's hard to be sure. There's a flash of Maria with at least a portion of a newborn army, in a clearing Alice recognised. From the amount of snow left on the ground, she thinks it's probably at least a couple of months away, though it could be earlier if we have an early thaw."
"So not near town then?"
"No, up where the snow stays around for longer. She's also had various flashes of Victoria with two other vampires she doesn't know, in a city somewhere. It could be Seattle. And some others of Victoria with a larger group. "
"Are they the same vampires, when Victoria is with the larger group, and in the clearing with Maria?"
"Alice can't tell. She doesn't see people she hasn't met before at all clearly, unless they're interacting with someone she knows. And she's not seen Victoria interacting directly with more than two vampires. And then, the better she knows that person, the clearer the vision. That's why her visions of you are a bit clearer now than they were when we first saw you, before she knew you. Though they're still blurry, and she can never see far into your future."
Bella thought about that for a little while, looking down at their joined hands. She took a sip of water, as much to calm herself as for her throat.
"But Alice doesn't know Maria, does she? How does she know it's her in the clearing?"
Jasper looked worried again. She could tell she wouldn't like whatever he was about to say.
"We know Maria is in the clearing, because we are all there too. You're right that Alice hasn't met her, but her vision of her is quite clear with all of us in the clearing, even if it is just a flash—and Edward recognised her in that vision, because he's seen her image in my mind."
"Oh my god," she said, shakily. "All of us? Have I…have I been changed?"
"No, darlin', no!" Jasper soothed. "You weren't in the vision. Just the vampire parts of our family."
"Oh." She took a deep breath, not sure if that was reassuring or precisely the opposite. She couldn't help a little frisson of pleasure though, that Jasper was including her in his family, even if it was almost as an afterthought.
"Aside from the visions of Victoria in the city though," Jasper began again, "they all are very fragmented and keep changing. Usually that means there are still too many variables for the future to be certain."
"But you're worried," she said.
"A little," he admitted. "If it were just Victoria, even with a newborn army, I wouldn't be particularly concerned, although we would definitely want to draw them away from Forks. Newborns are easy to defeat, one on one. An army of them is a different story, but an army is very difficult to control. I doubt Victoria could keep control of very many."
"But Maria could?"
"Yes. Maria wouldn't turn more than she could control. And she can control a lot. She likely has one or two talented vampires to help her. A talent like mine is invaluable in controlling an army. That's why she kept me around for so long. But she knows better than to depend on one person. She was always looking for other talents to increase her advantage. Victoria hasn't had time to develop the sort of capabilities she would need to control an army, in herself or anyone else. But Maria…"
"So what do we do?" Bella asked. "We can't let them come here, to Forks!"
"I don't know, darlin'. The vision of them is in the forest, not right in Forks, which is something. But, it may be that if we leave, we could draw them away altogether—" He stopped at the sound of her gasp.
"You are not leaving without me," she exclaimed.
"Of course not," he soothed. "Never. And another option might be going to Seattle ourselves to deal with Victoria before Maria gets involved. Though it's hard to know if she might be involved already…"
"That sounds like a terrible idea! What if Maria is there already? What if she has a whole army she's brought with her? No! Maybe you should just change me now, and we'll leave straight away. Go somewhere she won't find us for a while, and then…and then—"
"And then what? We'd still have to fight her some time, and maybe with less warning. Though we have discussed asking our cousins in Denali if they'd be willing to help, and maybe we could consider heading towards them. In any case, based on Alice's visions, we most likely still have some weeks before we need to worry. That's time you can spend with your father. I know you want that."
"I do," she agreed. "But not at the expense of your family's safety."
"I'm more worried about you, than us," he said. "I don't think we should do anything precipitate before February thirteenth."
Author's Notes and Recs (down the bottom):
This chapter is unbeta'd, please forgive any typos or Australianisms that may have slipped through (feel free to tell me about them though – in fact, please do!). I have the next several chapters drafted, but there are some cliffies coming up, so I am trying to get a good chunk pre-written to a decent standard, so that when it gets to that point, I can be posting a bit more quickly!
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If you want to be kept updated on where I'm up to and receive a preview of the next chapter, leave a comment.
Reviews are love. :)
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Recs – if you read them and like them, please leave a review and let them know I sent you! (or better yet, review every chapter!)
Is there a WIP that you love and think I should read? Let me know!
Here's an old Jasper-Bella story. Once again, I don't actually remember all the details of this one, I can't remember quite how it plays out but it starts off well! It's another one that starts just after Edward left in NM, although Bella reacts a little differently.
Golden Moon by NusiainForks
Bella doesn't fall apart after Edward leaves, especially when she discovers Jasper stayed behind. But with Alice waiting for Jasper in Alaska, will Bella find new love or be abandoned again? BxJas AU/OOC Bellie Award Nominee.
And a more recent one I enjoyed a lot (but Bella/Edward):
Mysterious Graffiti by Michaelmas54 s/12989225/1/Mysterious-Graffiti
Knowing something terrible is going to happen in the future but being unable to warn anyone without risking your own existence is the dilemma facing Edward Cullen, but he decides to take that risk because for once in his life he cares. There's a stealthy build-up to an exciting and terrifying climax for our Twilight characters. Rated M for all the usual reasons.
(January 2020 - as I type it's been months since I updated, but if you are reading this now, just so you know, I am still working on it, and plan to start publishing again when I have the rest all completed. It's not abandoned.)
