I feel like I only just closed my eyes to sleep before Natsuo jerked both me and Shouto awake. He rushed us downstairs and smuggled us into the backseat of his car in the darkness of the early morning.

I was too tired to speak, but I remember hearing Shouto ask where he was going. I think his brother said something about booking, and I know the precinct is at least an hour away, so I let Shouto nuzzle into my shoulder and take a nap with him.

Might as well squeeze in an hour or two of sleep. We stayed up all night, talking and touching and trying not to wake the rest of his family up. His brother's room is next to Shouto's. I wonder if he heard us through the walls.

Before I can worry about it any longer, Natsuo parks with a skid and steps out of the car for a few minutes. Both Shouto and I are awake but just barely. When he comes back in, someone's sitting shotgun. The car's quiet so I try to go back to sleep, but the silence gets stuffy.

I crack an eye open to see Shouto staring at whoever is sitting beside Natsuo. The car suddenly feels warm, like someone's hotboxing with the heat turned all the way up. A drop of sweat slides down my jaw.

I shake it off and try to doze again but it's way too uncomfortable to keep my eyes closed, so I just stare at the floor. When I look up, the sun's out and we're parked at a Burger King.

They all wordlessly get out of the car, so I follow them and blink at the guy who was in the front seat. Shouto's siblings are weird because they all kinda look alike, but not really. I mean, they look like they could be related, but none of them actually look like they share the same parents. So I know this blue-eyed, box-dyed scene kid is their older brother without anyone having to introduce us.

Shouto acknowledges him with a nod that he returns by giving him the finger. He turns around and starts walking inside before I can give it back.

I glance over at Shouto but he just shakes his head and walks after him, holding the door for me. We order and Natsuo pays and when our order's up, we take our trays to a relatively clean looking table. It's literally six in the fucking morning. How is the place already dirty?

Natsuo gets iced coffee while their brother just has it black. Shouto's drinking orange juice. There's Gatorade in my water cup.

"Touya," Natsuo finally says when we're all seated with our meals breakfast. "What the fuck?"

Touya rubs his nose piercing. "It's Dabi."

"Man, shut up," Natsuo tells him. "Why'd you burn that arcade down? I had my first kiss there, jackass."

"Fuck that place." Dabi responds, unwrapping his sandwich.

"I'm serious! You can't just go around burning shit."

I sit there and wonder what the fuck I'm even doing here. Why did Natsuo make me tag along to this brotherly reunion? I know it'd be weird to wake up alone in Shouto's room, but it's even weirder to be here with these freaks.

I used to think Shouto looked weird, like it actually took me a couple months to get used to looking at his face, but his older brother is something else. Piercings going through his tattooed skin and terribly dyed hair covering his scary ass blue eyes. He looks more like he just walked out of hot topic than the county jail.

"What are you—like a terrorist or something?" I ask.

Touya or Dabi or whatever the fuck his name is blinks up at me for the first time all morning.

"Yeah," he drawls, nodding along like he just had a revelation to his actions. "Exactly like that."

Natsuo and Shouto don't look amused at all.

"Who the fuck is this kid?" he asks his brothers.

He peels the half-melted cheese off his sandwich and throws it in the tray. Natsuo picks it up and eats it. Shouto reaches for his juice.

"My friend." he says around his straw.

"We're not friends." I correct.

"He's Shouto's boyfriend."

Orange juice almost flies out of Shouto's nose. "Natsuo," he chokes out.

Fuck. I knew we were being too loud last night. Shouto might suck my dick like he loves me but we aren't together. Not by a long shot.

Touya perks a pierced brow at how quickly I dab a napkin on my not-boyfriend's nose. Natsuo brushes it off.

"Whatever, look, who cares? Let's get back to my question—"

"Nah, back to mine," Touya says firmly. "You guys tell daddio or what?"

Shouto pushes his bangs off his weary eyes. "In what timeframe could we possibly have told him from the two hours you called Natsuo to now?"

Touya shrugs. "Figured there were no secrets between daddy and golden boy. Thought you'd be blowing his phone up with every little update."

I feel like I'm missing something. Besides the annexing of this new brother I've barely heard about, apparently Shouto's close to his dad? That can't be true. I'm starting to think this guy's actually insane.

"Forget about dad, worry about Fuyumi. She's gonna rip your fucking dick off."

"Doubt it," he snorts. "I'm her favorite brother."

Natsuo holds his hand up. "I'm definitely the heavyweight champ of that."

"Stop embarrassing yourselves." Shouto says, drinking my Gatorade. "We all know who she loves most."

Touya nods. "Me."

I can't tell if they're busting each other's balls or if this is just them getting along.

"She'd love me even if I burned her school down." he adds, wiping his mouth. "Her and mom."

I look around the table. What the actual fuck is happening here? Is this how brothers behave? Are they even brothers? None of them look alike. They all kinda look like their sister, but none of them actually look like each other. Do they each have different moms or something? They don't even look like cousins.

Just when I'm about to ask if they're actually half-brothers, Natsuo slams his hand down on the table. He's got a short fuse like his dad.

"Can't believe you went out and get yourself arrested on the same day mom's supposed to come home. Perfect timing, bro."

I look over at Shouto. He's unusually upset by this family drama. I've seen him stare into space while Natsuo's chewing their dad out.
Touya doesn't look bothered at all.

"Whatever. I'm done eating." he says, throwing his balled-up napkin over his barely touched breakfast. I contemplate eating it, but his fingernails are filthy and he's had his hands all over the sandwich so I suck down the rest of Shouto's juice and rise with them.

The workers stare at us while we throw our shit away because four guys at Burger King at six in the morning looks as insane as it sounds.

Natsuo yells at him on our way out, and while we're getting in the car, and as we pull out onto the road and into the freeway. Touya tries turning the radio on before his hand gets slapped away. Natsuo likes to make sure everyone is listening to him while he shouts. He's so fucking dramatic.

His ringtone cuts his rant short. Thank god. I hate listening to this guy yell.

Still, I like Natsuo. When he isn't being a whiny little pissbaby, he's actually pretty cool. I might even enjoy his company more than Shouto's. If he went to school with me, we'd definitely be friends.

He swears under his breath and reaches into his pocket. We almost swerves into the other lane as he pulls out his phone.

Touya clutches onto the handlebar for dear life. "Who the fuck taught you how to drive?"

"Fuyumi." Natsuo mumbles before answering the phone. "Baby, I'm driving right now. Can I call you back?"

"The fuck?" Touya says, "Who're you calling baby?"

"His girlfriend." Shouto supplies before blinking into space. "I hope."

The rest of the car ride is one big brotherly migraine. I used to want a sibling but I'm suddenly glad I'm an only child.

Natsuo and Shouto are okay, the other one's a total cunt though. He was insufferable shithead when we stopped at the grocery store to buy flowers and grapes, at the gas station when Natsuo refilled his tank, and on the drive home. "Why are we here?" Touya snaps, kicking his dirty shoe onto the glove compartment. "Drop me off at my friend's house. I'm not coming back home."

"Shut the fuck up and get your foot off."

I'm pretty sure Natsuo would've killed him if he wasn't his brother. He loves this car more than anything. I don't really see why. It's a weird model of a Nissan. I've never even seen another one like this and I would've remembered if I did. It's just that ugly.

"I'm serious—the hell?" he squints at the red Lambo parked on the sidewalk. "Whose car is that?"

"Fuyumi's boyfriend's."

Touya suddenly flings his door open. "Ew. She's still with him?"

"I guess—? Get back here! Let me park, goddamn it." he calls as Touya stalks over to the porch.

Natsuo haphazardly parks in the middle of the driveway and leaves us in the backseat with the car still on. We both watch as he runs after his brother.

"What's that about?"

"You know how everybody kinda hates Keigo?" Shouto mutters absently.

I nod. I barely know the guy and even I can't fucking stand him. "Yeah."

"Touya really fucking hates him." he says, unbuckling his seat belt and rushing out behind them. I really don't want to witness any more of this family drama but I follow along anyway.

We both walk in during a really heated moment. I feel like I'd be lost even with context.

Shouto's parents are frozen into place, while his brother holds Touya back and their sister stands protectively in front of her boyfriend.

"You have no room to talk!" she cries, pointing a red finger in Touya's bony chest.

"I'll talk all the shit I want," he snaps, brushing her hand away and pushing her aside to get into Keigo's face. "You don't know him like I do."

I wonder who would win. It's hard to imagine a guy as scrawny as Touya actually picking a fight with anyone, but I also can't see Keigo hitting his girlfriend's brother in front of her family. I'm kinda looking forward to it though, not gonna lie.

I notice the tightness in Shouto's back slackens a bit when his eyes land on his mom. He looks like he's deflating. "Hi," he breathes out.

Their mom's in a wheelchair in the middle of the kitchen. I don't really get why.

There's a twinkle in her dull eyes when she looks up at him. "Shouto," she murmurs.

"You didn't bring the stuff?" Natsuo asks, trying to take the attention off Touya's frenzy. "Go pop the trunk."

Shouto tries to move forward but his steps falter. He looked like he was about to give his mom a hug. "Uh." he blinks. "I need the keys."

"They're still in the car." Natsuo says. "Go get the stuff."

His lip pulls uncertainly. "But I-"

"Just go," Fuyumi says with a gentle push in between his shoulder blades.

Shouto gets forced out of the door and I find myself fucking following after him again. The fight starts back up when we're outside.

"What the fuck was going on back there?" I hiss into his ear.

"How the fuck should I know?" he replies, shoving me off. "Just help me get the groceries."

I like that these things happen in Shouto's family with no explanation. Makes me very, very grateful for my relatively calmer home life. Sure, my mom is still insane like Shouto's but I don't have a million brothers and sisters fighting each other all the time.

Touya's starting to scream again. Shouto's getting antsy, I can see it in his stride.

"Can't believe I forgot the flowers," he shakes his head. "Natsuo, where is the trunk handle thing again?"

Natsuo looks back at us, irritated. "Shouto, on the door." he grunts, restraining his brother. When Touya bears his teeth like that, he reminds me of a chihuahua.

"What?" Shouto calls. It's hard to hear over their brother and sister's shouting.

"Open my door, it's right there." he calls.

Shouto opens the driver door and crouches over. Poor dude was really itching to greet his mom. I don't know how long it's been since he's seen her.

"Where the fuck…" he mutters before getting frustrated. "I don't see it," he calls back.

Touya starts kicking. I think this guy should've been in the psych ward instead of his mom.

"Shouto, it's on the fucking door!" Natsuo barks.

Shouto startles and slams the door shut. "Fuck this," he says and rushes back inside to see Fuyumi nursing Keigo's bleeding nose.

"Touya," she cries, "What's gotten into you?"

"Me? What about you, Fuyumi?" he wipes his bloody knuckles on his ripped jeans. "Why are you still with this piece of shit?"

"That piece of shit, Touya, is my fiancé. We got engaged last month," she explains, using her patient teacher voice but with a bitter edge to it. "And we're very happy together."

They all watch the glint on her ringed finger get tinged with her boyfriend's blood.

"Engaged?" he repeats, ready to wet his other fist with Keigo's blood. "You're engaged to this motherfucker?"

She rolls her eyes. "You could try being happy for me instead of criticizing everything."

"I'll be happy for you once you leave this sorry piece of garbage. Oh, god," he puts his face in his palm, "He's literal trash, Fuyumi."

Keigo is uncharacteristically quiet. I don't really know him that well, but he's usually got something to say. Maybe he's trying to make a good impression on her mom.

Meanwhile Fuyumi looks ready to scratch her older brother's eyes out. I've never seen her like this. She almost looks like her dad.

"He's a human being, Touya!" she snaps. "Stop talking to him like that."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Touya rakes his fingers through his hair. I can see his natural roots. "Fine, whatever. I guess you're too in love with this asshole to see clearly, but what about you two?" he asks, pointing a finger to his parents. "You're really letting her marry into that… that— fuck," he spits. "I don't even know what to call him."

I glance over at their dad. He's also got his mouth shut for some reason. I really think Shouto's mom has a weird influence in the room because Enji is the type of guy to lash out at someone for looking at him wrong. But all he does right now is sit there and take it.

"Touya," their mother says gently, "He's a perfectly nice man."

"Yeah, well," he scoffs, "We all know you aren't the best judge of character when it comes to men, mom."

Natsuo pulls him by the collar, "Touya."

"No, it's true." He insists, glaring at their father. "She married a complete jackass and had four of his kids and now she's teaching her only daughter to put up with the same bullshit that sent her to a goddamn nuthouse." he redirects his scowl to his sister. "That's why you forgave dad, and that's why you're still with this dude. You're an abuse apologist."

"An abuse apologist?" she remarks, "Because I want a relationship with my dad? How about you stop spending all your time crying about dad online and actually go to therapy so you can move on with your life?" she takes her glasses off. "Honestly, Touya, you went out and got yourself arrested for arson. How on earth are you going to point fingers?"

"Alright, yeah," he reasons, "What I did was subjectively bad, but can we look at things through my perspective?"

Something I find insane is how tolerant the whole family is of this guy's shit. My mom would've slapped every tooth out of my mouth for talking shit about my dad in front of her, but they actually hear this asshole out. Unreal.

He clears his throat and starts counting off on his bony fingers. "First, I spend the night in a cramped jail cell, then I find out Shouto's gay, and now Fuyumi's engaged? What's next? Are you expecting your fifth child, mom?"

Shouto loses his balance. It's a good thing the wall is behind him or he would've busted his ass on the floor.

"Gay?" their dad reiterates, looking over at Shouto.

I love that he chooses to fixate on that instead of their literal felon son. I feel all their eyes on me, like I'm the one who turned him gay.

"You're gay?" he presses.

Shouto swallows thickly, looking down at his shoes.

"I," he hedges. "I'm bi."

His mom actually covers her mouth with her hand. His dad looks confused. What the fuck is wrong with these people? I knew Shouto was gay from the way he looks at Deku. Also that he has terrible taste in men.

Both Natsuo and Fuyumi look away. Touya slaps both his hands over his face.

"Bisexual." he shakes his head. "Just say you're fucking gay, bro."

"When did you get so goddamn insensitive, Touya?" Natsuo snarls, shoving him against the nearest wall. The back of his skull hits a framed painting.

"Natsuo!" their mom cries.

"Damn, Natsuo," Touya reaches back to rub his neck. "When did you turn into fucking dad?"

"Says the fucking guy who just punched Keigo in the face." he scoffs, "You start hurting people and wonder why they get mad? Fuck you. You're the one who's acting like dad."

Enji finally takes his eyes off me and looks over at his sons.

"Natsuo," he says, rubbing the bridge of his nose, "Don't talk to your brother like that. And Touya," he sighs, "That's enough, son."

There's apparently enough strength in Touya's scrawny arm to tear his brother's arm off. I watch the three steps he takes to get into his dad's face.

"Don't son me," he growls. "Call me a fucking bastard before you call me your son."

"Touya," his mom says firmly. "Please."

His dad frowns deeply but doesn't say anything.

"You think that just because mom's home that everything's back to normal? Get shot. I'd sooner light a match while I'm swimming in gasoline than acknowledge you as my dad. Honestly," he spits. "You disgust me. Even now, just looking at you一" Touya twists his face up, like he's actually about to throw up. "Makes me sick to my fucking stomach."

Shouto leans against me, grasping for support. I squeeze his cold fingers in reassurance. Really I just wanna take his hand and get us both the fuck out of here.

I think this guy's really lost his mind. Even thought I agree with everything Touya's saying, and I still feel bad for his dad. I'd never say something like this to my mom. Hell, I couldn't say something like this to my mom. She'd have slapped every tooth out of my mouth before I could finish the first sentence. Their dad just takes it until finally he rises out of his seat.

"Get back here!" Touya snaps. "I'm not done talking to you."

He fixes another frown at where our hands meet before walking himself out to the back porch. "We'll discuss this later," he tells Shouto before sliding the glass door closed. I watch him pull out his lighter and soft pack after he taking a seat.

Shouto lets go of my hand and walks upstairs without another word. I don't follow after him this time. I'm too tired to deal with this. I hate the way his parents keep looking at me like their sweet baby boy's been defiled and it's all because of me. I feel entirely out of place here.

Deku sends a text to the group chat asking if we wanna meet him at the park. I'm pretty sure Shouto would've jumped at the opportunity to leave his house, but he doesn't reply, so I guess he just wants to be alone. Still, I respond to Deku privately so he doesn't feel left out.

I didn't bring anything when I slept over, so I retie my shoes and stalk over to the front door.

"Are you out?" Natsuo asks, catching me before I can slip by.

"Yeah, I'm gone," I mutter, clasping hands with him.

"Hold on, I can drive you,"

"Nah, it's fine. I wanna walk."

"What? I'm not letting you walk. You live like an hour by foot."

"I want to."

Natsuo holds eye contact with me, trying to call my bluff. I'm serious though. I'd sooner run a hundred miles than spend another minute with any of these people. I fucking hate coming over, but I hate bringing Shouto over to my place more so I suck it up.

His gaze lets up before he shrugs. "Alright. Well, thanks for coming, and," he sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. "Sorry about… all this."

We nod at each other one more time before he lets me out. I consider going home but change my mind and start walking to the park. It's closer than my place anyway. I really hope Deku's got weed on him. I watch my shadow stretch on the concrete as I walk towards the park.

Deku's sitting on the swing by himself, swaying back and forth with his head bowed. His feet swirl tiny configurations into the sand.

I kick a pile of sand over his sneakers and scowl when he smiles up at me.

"Oh, hey," he says like he hasn't been missing for three whole days. It's his fault I had to endure Shouto's outing by myself. I hate that these two are the extent of my social life. I kinda had a falling out with my old squad and instead of apologizing, I settled for these friendless losers. I'm still bitter about it, so I take it out on Deku.

"Where the fuck have you been?"

His smile wobbles. "I… I was in the hospital."

This shit doesn't faze me. He's never not in the hospital. My earliest memories of Deku are all of him covered with bandaids, or in a brace, or on crutches.

"Why?" I demand.

"Uh," he frowns at the sand. "My dad's back."

I thought his dad was dead. The only time I've ever seen him was in his mom's room with wires in his arms while he was breathing through a hose. Then I never saw him again and Deku barely ever mentioned him, so I figured he kicked the bucket and they just didn't say anything.

I don't know what kind of relationship they have. Does he hate his dad like Shouto? Is he indifferent like me? I literally have no idea what to say. Good on you? Sorry?

I settle for a grunt and change the subject. "Shouto's brother burned an arcade down."

Deku lifts his head up and surprise overtakes the sorry look on his face. "Natsuo?"

"No, the other one."

"Oh my god," he breathes, staring at the monkey bars. "Shigaraki's arcade?"

I take a look over at the same monkey bars. I held the highest record for doing the most pull ups off them when we were younger. I still probably do. I think it was like a hundred forty or fifty. I could probably do twice that now.

"Dunno." I shrug, "Anyway, you bring weed or did you just call me over to waste my time?"

"Oh. Yeah," Deku says, reaching into his pocket for his lighter. "Shouto's probably gonna be mad at us for smoking without him."

"He didn't wanna come." I say, extending my hand out for the joint.

"That's true," he says, flicking his lighter on for me.

For some reason I think about Touya and his monologue when I see the flame. I almost flinch before but gather myself before Deku notices. I bring the spliff to my lips and take a deep inhale. It feels like the first breath I've taken all day.

I hold the smoke in as I watch Deku stare down at his red shoes. I'm tempted to take another hit, but it's not my weed, so I pass it back.

Deku sucks in a greedy inhale before digging it all out. I don't say anything because I'm grateful for this slight buffer that takes me away from reality.

I don't smoke a lot. I only picked it back up after I started hanging out with Deku and Shouto again. I'm pretty sure Deku could burn through a whole ounce and feel fine, but it never took much to get me high.

I sit on the end of the slide so he follows me to the playground. He's always fucking following me.

He keeps trying to talk to me about his dad but I really do not want to hear it. We sit in silence for the rest of the day.

I only realize how late it is when my mom's blowing my phone up asking where the fuck I am. No messages from Shouto though, so I put my phone back inside my pocket and stretch.

"Night." I offer, still glad he smoked me out.

Deku gives me another simpering grin and says, "Morning." before we go our separate ways.

He lives down the block, I live a few streets up the park. I'm tired, but I'm really dreading coming home to a stern word and a potential ass kicking.

I don't have my key, so I wake my mom up when I come in through the garage. She storms into the living room m to yell at me, threatens to kick me out and leaves my ears ringing with the echos of her screams.

I walk into the kitchen and check the oven for the time. It's three am. I'm starving.

I check the microwave where my leftovers are usually waiting for me. When I find nothing, I peer into the garbage. There's a mess of noodles and broccoli and beef topped with a sticky note with my name written in my dad's handwriting.

My mom must've thrown it out after I failed to answer her thirty fourth missed call.

That kinda spite usually kills my appetite but I'm still hungry, so I open the fridge, flinche at the light, and try not to make too much noise so my mom doesn't come back downstairs and empty the whole fridge in the trash.

There's a jar of olives, a carton of milk, and sliced watermelon that probably soaked up the rest of the fridge smell. I shut the door and turn my flashlight on to walk upstairs.

I ignore the messages on my lock screen. By the time I get in bed it's half past three.

The harsh light catches on a reflective trophy. My eyes skim past the rest of the medals and awards lining my walls. I stare at them blankly.

All this merit. All this potential. My name printed on every honor roll from every semester of every year of school. MVP of every sport I ever played. I lifted weights. I ran track. I broke records. I did it all and it all amounted to nothing.

Fuyumi tried convincing me that I had gifted kid burnout like Shouto, but that isn't the half of it. I don't feel burnt out. I feel hollow. The Katsuki Bakugou who achieved all those accolades is different from the one in this room.

I don't think I could begin to encompass this shitty sense of emptiness that's been filling me for a few months now. I've felt it ever since I graduated last spring.

I throw my phone under my bed and shut my eyes and and try to drift into another sleepless night.

The sun rises two hours later but I stay in bed until it sets again.