Wow. This chapter. Not only is it the LONGEST EVER chapter I've posted, but at risk of sounding extremely biased, it is the BEST chapter I have ever written. It's been a long process as this might be the most vital chapter yet. I've written every lunch break I have for weeks and it's finally ready to share with you. Kaci, thank you for being so patient and not axe murdering me as I've teased you with spoilers. If only we could get Dick Wolf to hire me as a writer! I really enjoyed writing Dr. Charles' role in this chapter. It's a legit roller coaster ride of emotions. Pardon the "naughty" language as Will loses his sh*t. I have a good start on the next chapter- I've had a document saved on my iPhone that has sat there for two years. It was initially for a a story I never wrote, but I saved it knowing one day it would be used. That day has come. Enough of me rambling! I hope you enjoy my favorite chapter I've ever written. Enjoy, read, and leave me some love by clicking on that cute little review button at the bottom!


It's like a storm
That cuts a path
It breaks your will
It feels like that

You think you're lost
But you're not lost on your own
You're not alone

I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you've done all you can do
And you can't cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I won't let go...
~Rascal Flatts~ I Won't Let Go


Natalie awoke some time later feeling refreshed. She grabbed her stethoscope, pager, and cellphone then headed back out into the ED. It felt eerily quiet as she approached Crockett who was sitting at a computer.

" How's it going?" she asked.

" So far, so good. It looks like the sleep helped. Are you feeling better?"

" Those two hours were fabulous. I really needed that. Thanks."

" You're welcome. Will's upstairs in the ICU sawing logs. The nurses said he barely made it into the chair at Jay's bedside before he fell asleep."

" I'm glad he's getting sleep even if it's medically induced and highly unethical."

" No one ever said what I did was ethical," mused Crockett.

" I'm so worried about him. I can't imagine how hard this all is for Will. He and Jay have grown so close. I'm scared how he's going to react if the EEG results aren't good. I can't imagine how he'll cope with the possibility that Jay…" Natalie stopped, trying to contain her emotions.

" I hope you don't mind, but while you were sleeping I talked with Dr. Charles about the situation. He's going to check in with Will in a few hours," Crockett explained.

" Something tells me that won't go over so well," lamented Natalie.

Will has a habit of burying his emotions instead of talking about them."

" Give him some time. We both know Will is more than capable of not only knowing what this exhaustion is doing to his body, but also the possible outcomes of Jay's injuries."


" Can I ask you something?" Marcel nodded yes as he turned his attention back to the computer screen in front of him.

Do you think this EEG is going to reveal...is Jay beyond help?" she asked, fumbling over her words.

" Honestly I don't know right now. I've done all that I can do from a surgical standpoint. Jay's injuries were fairly severe and he lost a large amount of blood. I've certainly had many patients who have been in much worse condition than Jay is in. I've had patients die from what should have been simple surgeries or injuries. However, at the same time I've had patients who have sustained much worse and walked out of the hospital after being comatose for weeks or even months. Anything is possible, especially if Jay is anywhere as stubborn as Will is." Natalie shook her head in agreement.

" The Halstead brothers might be two of the most stubborn men I've ever met," she conceded.


" You're awake," announced Dr. Charles some time later.

" How long was I out?" Will asked groggily.

" A little over five hours."

" What did that bastard put in my IV?"

" If you're referring to Dr. Marcel I believe he gave you Valium since you were refusing his advice in regards to you needing sleep." Will sighed as he sat up. As pissed off as he was at Crockett's unethical solution, he knew that the surgeon was right. He needed sleep.

" Have you been sitting here the whole time?"

" I snuck in a few hours ago. Your wife and coworkers are worried about you," explained Daniel.

" How is Jay?" asked Will, changing the subject.

" Still the same. Actually, I was waiting here in hopes that we could have a talk about Jay's condition and how you're handling things." Will stood, dragging his IV pole over to a supply cart. In no time at all he removed his now empty IV and disposed of everything.

" I'm going to go use the restroom," he announced, applying a cotton ball and bandage over where the IV had been placed.

" I'll still be here."

" I had a feeling I couldn't get rid of you that easily."


Just a few short moments later Will returned to Jay's room in the ICU.

" I had one of the nurses bring you a Gatorade. Thought you might be thirsty," quipped Dr. Charles as Will reached for the doctor's tablet before sitting back down. He took a long swig of the Gatorade, carefully looking over his brother's latest test results and vitals as he did so.

" How do things look?"

" The same. No better, no worse," Will said flatly.

" That's not such a bad thing. In my eyes it's showing that Jay is remaining stable."

" Too stable. So stable that he's in a damn coma."

" This might just be a sign that his body needs more time to heal," reasoned Dr. Charles.

" Don't you think I've already thought of that? How much I've prayed for that?" challenged an angry Will as he choked up.

" I'm sure you've thought about and run through every possible diagnosis, treatment, test, and the outcomes in your head Seeing your brother in such rough shape when you're a doctor who doesn't have all the answers...it must be very discouraging."

" That's putting it mildly," declared Will.

" Then what is it?" Will took a deep breath, teetering on the edge of losing it. All he could think about was Abrams and that damn EEG tomorrow. Having Dr. Charles pepper him with questions left him feeling both annoyed and anxious. Will sat in silence, doing his best to ignore said questions. Instead he chose to focus his attention on Jay, inhaling deeply, his emotions dangerously close to exploding as the seconds ticked by. Will raked his fingers through his hair, sighing again.

" None of this...none of this is right," he muttered, trying to close his eyes tightly so the tears he was holding in wouldn't fall. However Will failed miserably, settling back into the chair as he was overcome by wracking sobs. Dr. Charles placed a box of Kleenex at the foot of Jay's bed which Will promptly picked up before standing and hurling the box across the room with great force.

" You want to know what this is?" he challenged.

It's a bunch of fucking bullshit!" Will's anguished screams seemed to echo in the otherwise quiet ICU room.


" No one ever said it wasn't."

" Jay's all I have left. Our mom is gone. Our piece of shit dad died. I'm not supposed to be...if Jay dies. If Jay dies, it's just going to be me. The last Halstead standing."

" You aren't alone though. You have an amazing wife in Natalie. And Owen. Owen is so lucky to have you as his stepfather."

" That's different," argued Will, sitting back down. Once again the room was silent. Without warning, he swept his arm across the table at the end of the bed, sending its contents clattering loudly onto the floor.

" Owen. Jay promised him they could sit in a real police car and that Owen could turn on the sirens. He was so excited about his Uncle Jay being a real policeman. How do I tell him?"

" There's nothing to tell him yet. I'm sure he understands his uncle is hurt, but Jay is still very much alive," reasoned Dr. Charles.

" Is he? He's in a damn coma. Abrams wants to do an EEG. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know he and Marcel are considering the fact that Jay is…" Will's voice cracked.

That Jay is brain dead."

" That certainly is a possibility, but it's not the only outcome. Let's face it. Jay could just be a stubborn asshole looking to take a nice, long nap," argued the elder doctor. A small laugh escaped Will as he wiped at his eyes with the tissues that Dr. Charles had put back on the bed.

" You're right," echoed Will as he faced his brother.

Stop being such a stubborn asshole damn it!" The words felt oddly cathartic as he spoke them.


" Can you do me a favor?" asked Will out of nowhere.

" Sure."

" I need to make a phone call. Can you hand me my hopefully unbroken cellphone?"

" Looks like it survived," announced Dr. Charles, handing Will his iPhone. With a deep breath, Will selected a number, the person almost answering instantaneously.

" Hey. Can you do me a favor? Are you able to come stay with Jay for the night? I need to get out of here before I go insane. You can? Thanks. See you soon." Will hung up, feeling as if a miniscule amount of weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

" Who was that if you don't mind me asking?"

" Hailey Upton. She's been texting and calling me for updates, wanting to see him."

" I'm assuming that means you two have mended things after your confrontation."

" I've been an ass to a lot of people these past few days," Will admitted.

" Traumatic events can do that to you. All of that fear, anger. All of the unknown. It's like you're a bottle of soda that has been shaken in a paint mixer. When you twist the lid off, all of those different, difficult emotions explode, making a huge, complicated mess," reasoned Daniel.

" Can you do me one more favor? I need to see my wife, to apologize and make things right. Will you find Natalie and have her come upstairs?"

" I think that would be an excellent idea. I'll be right back."


Will turned to face Jay's motionless body, taking off his own St. Christopher medal.

" You need this more than ever," he spoke, folding the necklace into his brother's hand.

I know you're still in there you tenacious bastard." Behind him a soft knock sounded on the door. Natalie stepped inside, dressed in her regular clothes, clearly ready to head home.

" I'm so sorry," Will proclaimed, falling into her waiting arms. He rested his weary on her shoulder briefly before giving her a passionate kiss.

Earlier. I'm so sorry. I love you so much. If it weren't for you...if I didn't have you…"

" It's okay Will," Natalie whispered, wrapping her arms around her husband.

I love you Will Halstead. It's killed me to watch you go through this, hurting so bad. I feel helpless. Like there's nothing I can do to ease your pain," she confessed.

" Actually there is," mentioned Will, raising his head so he could lock eyes with Natalie.

Take me home with you for the night. I miss Owen like crazy. I need to get away from all of this, clear my head. I need to fall asleep next to my beautiful wife. I don't know what will happen if Jay dies, but right now all I know is that I want to go home."

" Are you sure you're ready to leave him alone? Owen and I want you home so badly, but I don't want you to do something you're not ready for."


" He won't be alone," replied Will as his phone buzzed, showing a message from Hailey stating she was on her way upstairs.

" You don't know how happy it makes me to know you're willing to come home and get the rest you need to be strong for Jay," declared Natalie as the door opened behind her.

" That was quick."

" Voight told me to run my lights the whole way here. We're all so worried about him. How's he doing?"

" He's in a coma. They're talking about running tests tomorrow to see whether or not he's brain dead." Hailey gasped.

" He's not, is he?"

" I don't know. It's Jay. We both know he does things his own way, on his own time."

" That's true. Oh so true," stated Hailey as she took a seat in the chair Will had been sitting in.

" You've got my cell phone and pager numbers. The nurses have Natalie's numbers as well. Call me, any hour of the night if things change or if you need me. If you need anything, just ask the nurses. They'll make sure to take care of your both," reasoned Will.

" Will do. I plan on lecturing his ass most of the night."

" Good. He needs it," he said, turning to Natalie.

Let's go get our son."


Will felt a mix of emotions as they pulled up to their brownstone. He checked his phone for any messages from Hailey as he walked to the back of the SUV and opened the door. Owen jumped out, having already undone his car seat straps.

" Will! Can I have a piggy back ride?"

" Of course!" replied Will, hoisting the boy onto his shoulders. Natalie tiredly fumbled for her keys as they walked up the front steps.

Are you okay?"

" I'm just a little tired. It's been a long day," she explained, opening the front door.

" Why don't you take a nice long bath? Owen and I will make dinner," suggested Will.

" I want chicken nuggets!" shouted Owen as he took off for the kitchen.

" Sounds like a good idea to me," Natalie replied, slowly climbing the stairs.

Will entered the kitchen to find Owen sitting at the island with a coloring book and crayons.

" How about some macaroni and cheese with those nuggets?" Will suggested as he opened a cupboard.

" Yay. I've missed you so much Daddy!" The box of macaroni and cheese he was holding fell to the counter.

" What did you say?"

" I've missed you so much Daddy!" Will's heart swelled, leaving him feeling elated. The only sound from the kitchen as he prepared Owen's dinner was the boy's soft humming as he colored in a picture. In no time at all, the chicken nuggets and macaroni were ready.

" How about some apple juice bud?"

" Okay," replied Owen who instantly began eating as the plate was placed in front of him, also including a pile of apple slices Will had added at the last second.

" I'm going to go upstairs and check on Mommy, okay?"

" Okay Daddy. Can you take this picture to Uncle Jay when I'm finished with it? Mommy says kids aren't allowed in his part of the hospital."

" He'd love that," Will declared, leaning in to kiss Owen on the head.

When you're done, maybe we can have some ice cream." Will exited the room and walked up to the master bedroom. Natalie laid sprawled out on the bed in her pajamas, her hair still wet from the bath.


" Feel any better?" asked Will, sitting by her side.

" Best bath I've had in a long time," she responded, her eyes half closed. It wasn't until Will leaned in that he noticed how pale Natalie was.

" Are you sure you're okay? You look pale and diaphoretic," Will declared, touching his hand to her forehead.

" I'm fine. I just had the bath water really warm."

" Are you sure?"

" I'm not one of your patients," she shot back, letting out a long yawn.

" So Owen called me Daddy downstairs while I was fixing his dinner," Will said casually as he laid down beside his wife. Natalie turned to face him.

" He's been calling you that since this weekend off and on. Does it bother you?"

" Natalie, I love him so much my heart hurts. To have him call me Daddy is indescribable. I never want either of you to feel like I'm trying to replace Jeff. He will always be Owen's dad. I know he loved you both even before Owen was born."

" I think Jeff would be over the moon to know that such an amazing man has stepped up to love us both. Knowing that his son has such a great role model who has stepped up to love Owen like his own would be such a relief."

" I love you two. This is exactly what I needed tonight," Will stated as he heard Owen's voice shout out.


" Does he ever stop eating? I just made him six chicken nuggets and I swear it felt like I piled up a huge serving of macaroni and cheese on his plate." Beside him, Natalie shot up out of bed, running for the ensuite bathroom. Will could hear the sounds of her retching through the closed door.

" Nat. Can I come in?"

" Go see what Owen needs," she managed to get out before vomiting again. Will ran downstairs at lightning speed to find Owen asking for more macaroni and cheese.

" When you're finished why don't you turn on some cartoons? I need to check on Mommy. She's not feeling very well." Owen's spoon hovered near his mouth.

" Is she going to have to go to the hospital like Uncle Jay?"

" No bud. I don't think so. I just think she has a stomachache."

" Can you fix her?"

" I'm going to try," Will promised, running back upstairs to find the bathroom door still closed. He opened it with caution, finding an obviously ill Natalie vomiting one last time before flushing the toilet. She reached for a disposable cup on the counter, filling it with water to get the taste of bile out of her mouth.


" Do you still want to argue that you're not sick?" he challenged, sitting down on the floor, pulling her into his arms.

What did you have for lunch? Food poisoning maybe?"

" It's not food poisoning," she mumbled, laying her head against Will's chest.

" Does your stomach hurt? Appendicitis maybe?"

" Don't have an appendix, remember?" Will smiled, remembering the scar on her stomach.

" What about…"

" I'm not sick...and your diagnostic skills suck."

I think I'm pregnant."