Chapter 2
Fifteen minutes had passed, and the Eds and their Kanker counterparts had finally made it to their school building. The building was a rather spacious 3 story building, similar to Peach Creek Junior High. The bricks were brown in color, and a series of large windows leading into each classroom peppered the front facade. Above the main entrance, large silver plated letters spelled out the words "Peach Creek High School". The school campus was abuzz with students; many were conversing happily with friends, while others were using what little time they had to finish up homework they had neglected to do the previous night.
The group made their way up the series of five steps leading to the main entrance of the school building. Double Dee was first to reach the door, and promptly opened it to allow his friends to pass though before him. The door opened into the main corridor of the school; as was the case of the rest of the town, the school had received an overhaul for the holiday season. The halls were literally decked with boughs of holly, and multi colored tinsel lined the entire length of the walls above the student lockers. Christmas wreaths hung on the door to every classroom; even the water fountains were covered in wrapping paper with pictures of reindeer, Santa Claus, and Christmas gifts.
The Eds and Kankers walked side by side, each holding their counterparts hand, admiring the winter wonderland that had been created over the past weekend. Double Dee was the first to chime in.
"My word, isn't it just wonderful!" said Double Dee, "What isn't there to love about this time of year? The elaborate decorations, warm holiday cookies, time well spent families and the oh so beautiful spirit of giving."
"It is such a beautiful time of year!" said Marie as she glanced toward Double Dee with a smile, "The school looks really pretty, they did a great job with the decorations."
At that moment, Eddy reached his locker, and began the process of entering the code to the combination lock. The rest of the group followed suit, as all of their lockers were located within close proximity to each other.
"Alright," said Eddy as he fumbled with the lock, "Enough admiring the scenery, I've got bigger things to worry about. If I fail this math test this week, I'm going to wind up failing the semester."
Lee placed her outer coat on the hook in her locker, and reached into the upper compartment to retrieve her glasses case. Lee had always required glasses for near sightedness, but due to financial circumstances, she was unable to receive a prescription until last summer. Nevertheless, she did not enjoy wearing the black rimmed spectacles in the slightest, so she only donned them during school hours. She placed the glasses on her face, after which she leaned around her locker door to make eye contact with Eddy.
"Eddy," said Lee, "Did ya ever stop and think that if you studied, you might actually get a good grade?"
Eddy slid his sweater over his head and placed it in his locker.
"Easy for you to say," said Eddy, "You actually like this stuff. Ever since you revealed this whole secret genius nerd thing last spring, I feel like I'm dating a female Double Dee."
Double Dee and Marie stood a few feet away, listening to the conversation unfold. Double Dees face displayed a sarcastic glare, unamused at Eddy's nerd comment. Marie tapped him on the arm while giggling slightly.
"Hey it's not like I like this stuff," said Lee, "I just know I have to do it if I want to get anywhere in life and make some major moolah."
"Cut the crap Lee," said Marie, "You've always liked reading, and you would always played chemistry set with Poppy when you were little. You wanted to be a scientist remember?"
Lee's face turned slightly red out of embarrassment as Marie smiled. Double Dee decided to chime in.
"Well, I for one see nothing wrong with excelling in academics, and there should be no reason for the enjoyment of such things to be a source of embarrassment." said Double Dee.
"Yeah Lee, suck it up," said Marie in her characteristic cackling voice, "You ain't got nothin to be ashamed of."
At that moment, the sound of a can being opened echoed down the hallway. The entire group turned to see Ed holding a large can of gravy in his right hand over his head. In his left hand, he grasped a funnel, which drained to a bifurcated plastic tube. The two tubes lead down from the funnel, one ending in Eds mouth, the other in May's mouth. Ed was pouring the gravy into the funnel from the can, while he and May were guzzling it at an alarming rate.
Lee performed a hitchhikers thumb towards her younger sister, her face adorned with a sarcastic scowl.
"Except for being related to that." said Lee in a joking manner, referring to Marie's earlier comment.
At the conclusion of Lee's statement, a familiar voice yelled out from behind the group.
"Yo Dorkie! Glad to see you actually got up on time today!"
Eddy turned around to see his two friends, Kevin and Rolf, standing around 30 feet away from his position. Kevin was holding a large poster, which was currently rolled into a tube. A single wooden step ladder was set up near the wall of the corridor; a second ladder was currently being set up next to the first by Rolf.
Eddy closed his locker, and made his way down the corridor toward Kevin and Rolf's position.
"Sup Shovel Chin, Rolfie Boy," said Eddy, "Whatcha guys up to?"
"Ms. Brewster asked us to hang up this poster" said Kevin, "I have no idea what it's for, but she said if we did it we'd get a few minutes off of options period this afternoon. You want in?"
"You kiddin?" said Eddy, "Hell yeah I'm in, getting out of school a few minutes early is always worth the work."
"Rolf is pleased with the offer of early dismissal," said Rolf as he completed unfolding the step ladder, "For I must help Nana prepare for the season of mirth and the feast of the great Yeshmiyek."
"Whatever floats your boat Rolfie Boy," said Eddy as he took the large rolled poster out of Kevin's hands, "Let's see what all the fuss is about."
Eddy placed both of his hands on the free end of the rolled up poster, and quickly flicked his arms in a waving motion causing the poster to quickly unroll. Eddy gently lowered the deployed poster on the blue floor tiles for examination of it's contents.
The poster was rather large, around ten feet long by five feet wide. The background of the poster was of a light blue hue. In each corner was an image of a piece of winterberry, it's green leaves and red berries standing out against the blue background. In the middle of the poster was an advertisement, written in large gold lettering:
Peach Creek High School
Annual Winter Ball
Dec 23 7:00 p.m.
Celebrate the Holiday Season with a fun-filled night of music, dancing, and Yuletide fun with friends. Semi-Formal attire required (ties for men, evening gowns for ladies).
Calling all young ladies! The Crown of the Winter Ball Queen is up for grabs! Any interested parties are offered the chance to compete. Students will cast their votes on the night of the ball for the young lady who best exemplifies the spirit of the holiday season. Don't miss out!
It didn't take long for the presence of the poster to draw the remaining Eds and Kankers down the hallway. After a quick examination, Double Dee was the first to speak.
"Well, it seems that they are finally advertising the winter ball!" said Double Dee, "As an active member of the freshmen student union, I have been heavily involved with the planning of this years ball. What a wonderful way for our class dues to be put to use."
Eddy and Kevin each took an end of the large poster in their hand. Each boy climbed up onto the top step of their ladders with the intent to fix the poster to the wall in accordance with the school administrations wishes. Rolf remained at ground level to hand the boys thumb tacks and tape.
As the boys worked on installing the poster, May enthusiastically continued the conversation.
"Oh Boy!" yelled May, "I can't wait!"
May turned to Ed with an excited expression.
"You will take me to the winter ball, right Ed?" Asked May as she clasped her hands and batted her eyes.
Ed turned towards May, his face displaying his characteristic dopey smile.
"Off to the winter ball, me and Little May shall go!" said Ed.
"Oh Ed!" yelled May. She jumped up and down so excitedly that the blue bows securing her two beloved pony tails nearly came loose. She rushed towards Ed and squeezed him in a loving embrace.
Marie smiled at her sisters bliss, after which she turned towards Double Dee. Double Dee smiled as he gazed upon his girlfriends freckled face. Both adolescents knew that the decision regarding the topic at hand was already made, but Double Dee decided to take the initiative to formalize it.
"Well Marie," said Double Dee, "I suppose it my my inherent duty as your significant other to ask you to accompany me to the winter ball?"
Marie giggled.
"Well, I suppose it is my duty to say yes!" said Marie, after which she kissed Double Dee on the cheek.
Marie glanced towards her red headed older sister, standing a few feet away watching her boyfriend attempt to hang the winter ball poster. Marie decided to pose a question.
"So Lee," asked Marie, "Are you going to the ball?"
Lee turned around to face her little sister, her face adorned with a scowl.
"Huh, yeah right." said Lee, "Are you kidding me? I'm not parading myself around in a frilly dress all night like some kind of wind-up doll, unless I'm getting paid by the modeling agency. I already told Eddy not to worry about it, I got better things to do and neither of us paid the dues anyway."
Marie and Double Des glanced at each other, slightly stunned by Lee's brutal honesty, after which Double Dee decided to make a proclamation.
"Very well Lee," said Double Dee, "While you are entitled to your opinion, should you at any point decide to change your mind and desire admission, a fee of twenty dollars can be paid to the student treasurer to make up for the missed class dues."
"Hardly," said Lee, "There ain't nothin or nobody that's going to change my mind on this one."
At that instant, the sound of a sarcastic feminine voice chimed in from over Lee's shoulder.
"Of course Annalee Kanker isn't going, she doesn't want to embarrass herself by having to be in the same room as me."
Lee slowly turned to face the source of the voice, her face adorned with a bitter expression. Standing in the middle of the hallway was a young woman of above average height, boasting a slim and somewhat lanky build. She was wearing a maroon thigh-length designer winter coat, secured by black buttons; accented by a vertical cream colored stripe made from rabbits fur. The coat boasted powerful shoulder pads, flaring outward over the pretty girls shoulders, portraying a feminine and powerful appearance. A brown belt, secured with a golden buckle passed around her waste. A pair of dark brown high heeled boots completed her ensemble, the tops of which disappeared under the folds of her coat. Her platinum blonde hair was neatly styled into loose waves that hung over her shoulders and was accented by a light blue headband. From her ears hung two large hoop earrings, each in a shiny shade of crimson. Her chestnut shaped eyes were made up completely with eye shadow and eye-liner, and her face displayed an overconfident grin.
"Lindsay Statorowski," said Lee with a sarcastic wit, "To what do we owe this great pleasure?
Lindsay smiled as she walked closer to Lee's position.
"Oh nothing," said Lindsay, "I just thought I'd come by and see how my favorite little wannabes are doing."
"Like I'd want to be a stuck up bimbo that can't keep a man for more than three days." said Lee, "If you know what's good for ya, I'd turn your spoiled brat ass around and get out of here. I told ya before, times have changed I ain't afraid of ya anymore!"
"How barbaric," said Lindsay, "Typical of a 'Kanker Sore' to use brute force to make up for their lack of beauty and femininity. I'll give it to you, you give a nice presentation, but don't think you even can even compare yourself to me just because you won the new big Pacific Teen Model Management contract. News flash Hun, I still have more work than you can ever wish for."
"It's easy to get recognition even when you're mediocre when all you have to do is get 'Daddy' to write a check ," yelled Lee, "Typical uptown broad."
The two girls continued going at it as the rest of their peers watched. Ed and May elected to remain silent, observing the eldest Kanker have a war of words with her adversary. Double Dee and Marie stood side by side, also observing the events unfold. As the two girls bickered, Marie leaned towards Double Dee.
"Here they go again." said Marie, "This can only get worse."
"Marie," said Double Dee, "May you remind me again of your history with this particular young woman?"
Marie turned towards Double Dee.
"Lindsay Statorowski was one of our classmates from elementary school back in the city. She was one of our worst tormentors, and often physically and verbally abused us. One day, we came home with cuts and bruises from an encounter we had with her and her friends. My Dad saw it and, having enough with the school not doing anything about it, decided to teach us martial arts and submission holds he learned in his military service to help us defend ourselves."
Marie paused for a few seconds to catch her breath.
"We were scared to use it at first, but one day, after a few years, Lee couldn't take it anymore and kicked her ass in front of the entire school. Lee was expelled from the school, so for ease we were all transferred to a new school. We thought we never would have to deal with her again, that is until her dad got this big promotion she is always bragging about and moved her family to Peach Creek. Now we have to deal with her running her stupid mouth again, as if she didn't learn from Lee shoving her fist into it back then."
Marie's facial expression turned to one of anger as she spoke her last few words slightly alarming Double Dee. However, she quickly calmed down as she took a pause from speaking and glanced back towards the direction of the fighting girls.
"I actually am really proud of Lee," said Marie, "Before the events of last March, Lee would have already had Lindsay on the ground begging for mercy. Now she is willing to show some restraint. It's easy to forget that behind that sexy exterior lies one tough cookie that is quite capable of handling herself physically."
"Oh yes," said Double Dee, "How could I ever forget."
Marie giggled, after which she defaulted back to observing the war of words.
Meanwhile, Eddy and Kevin were still working on hanging the poster. They were completely oblivious to the events occurring in the corridor, as they were immersed in conversations regarding sports bets they had placed on the football game last Sunday. Eddy and Kevin had made a twenty dollar bet, and the turnout was in Eddy's favor.
Kevin placed a piece of tape on the poster to tack it in place, after which he reached down into his pocket to retrieve his wallet.
"Alright dork," said Kevin, "You won fair and square, here is the twenty bucks I owe ya."
Eddy grinned as he gladly retrieved his winnings.
"Oh yeah baby, come to papa!" said Eddy as he counted the bills.
"Don't get too cocky," said Kevin, "There's always next time."
Kevin placed his wallet back in his pocket and continued working. He decided to continue the conversation.
"Besides, you're probably going to loose it anyway," said Kevin, "If your girl's anything like Nazz, she is gonna want to go to this Winter Ball thing, and you didn't pay the dues so you're gonna have to pay the fee."
Eddy glanced towards Kevin with a cocky grin.
"Lee?" said Eddy, "Fat chance, we already talked about it and she said she ain't going."
Eddy smiled slyly as he leaned against the wall.
"See I got the best of both worlds, not only is Lee insanely hot, but she is also as low maintenance as can be. She don't want none of that fancy 'wine and dine' crap. She's happy with us just being us."
Eddy fanned the dollar bills as if they were playing cards as if to flaunt the money to Kevin.
"So that just means I got twenty dollars of extra cash in the bank!" said Eddy.
As Eddy's conversation with Kevin was coming to a close, the argument occurring in the middle of the corridor was escalating, as the girls continued to exchange insults.
"It's easy to understand why you aren't going to the dance," said Lindsay, "It's because you know I'm going to win Winter Ball Queen, and you realize you can never possibly live up to my standards."
Lee's face filled with anger as she delivered a surprising retort.
"Well for your knowledge", yelled Lee. "I have some info for you and all the other arrogant chicks you hang out with."
Lee pointed her index finger towards Eddy, who currently had his back turned towards the corridor.
"Eddy's taking me to the ball!" she yelled.
"WHAT!" yelled Eddy, as he simultaneously swung his head around to face Lee. This motion unfortunately caused him to loose his balance, the ladder to sweep out from under his feet, and his body to plummet towards the floor.
"Say what?" said Edd and Marie simultaneously as they glanced at each other in confusion.
Eddy regained his composure, stood up and began making his way towards Lee.
"Lee, what's going on?" asked Eddy, "I thought we agreed t..."
Eddy was cut off as Lee placed her hand over his mouth, silencing him.
"That's right," said Lee, "I'm going to the winter ball, I'm running for Queen, and I'm going to win."
Lee leaned forward towards Lindsay with a competitive grin.
"What do ya have to say about that?" asked Lee.
Lindsay moved closer to Lee, until their bodies were almost in direct contact. Lindsay leaned her face into Lee's.
"May the better girl win." said Lindsay with a smile, as she simultaneously performed a cocky neck roll.
Lindsay turned around and began walking away from Lee's position, simultaneously signaling her clique to follow her. The group of girls disappeared around the corner, at which point Lee suddenly snatched the money Eddy had just earned from Kevin out of his hand.
"MY MONEY!" yelled Eddy, as he reached for his beloved cash.
Lee stormed towards Double Dee with an irritated glare, her high heeled boots clicking loudly with each step on the tile floor. She placed the cash into Double Dees right hand.
"Here Double Dee," said Lee, "Pass this to the school treasurer, and get two tickets to the winter ball for me and Eddy."
Before Double Dee had a chance to respond, Lee was once again on the move. She briskly walked to the entrance to the girls room with an angry step, flung the door open with force, and disappeared inside.
All of the Eds, the remaining Kanker sisters, and Kevin and Rolf remained as still as statues, stunned at the display they had just witnessed. Eddy was the first to respond.
"What the hell was that!?" yelled Eddy.
"I don't know." said Marie, "I've seen Lee with her claws out plenty of times, but usually she is all physical business. It's not like her to play the catty girl."
The group of students remained in silence for a few seconds, after which Eddy decided to chime in.
"Well looks like I'm going to this shindig after all," said Eddy in a negative tone of voice, "Now I gotta find something to wear."
"Isn't this sweet!" yelled May, "All of my sisters and their boyfriends, dancing the night away in suits and winter gowns! How romantic, it's just like the fairy tails!"
Eddy groaned as he kicked a balled up piece of paper down the hallway that happened to have found it's way to the floor. Double Dee walked over to his best friend and placed his hand on his shoulder.
"Cheer up Eddy," said Double Dee with a smile, "Just think, you can enjoy this fantastic holiday celebration put together by our beloved teachers with all of your best friends. I'll provide this money to the treasurer and procure your tickets by the end of the day."
"Whatever," said Eddy as he placed his hands in his pockets and began walking back towards Kevin and Rolf. "I'll catch you guys in class, I'm going to finish helping these guys hang this poster."
"Very well Eddy." said Double Dee, "We'll see you in class."
As Double Dee, Marie, Ed and May began their trek to class, Eddy picked up his step ladder from the floor and placed it back in it's standing position. He retook his position on the top rung, and began taping the poster to the wall.
Kevin could no longer hold back and began laughing at Eddy's financial predicament.
"See, didn't I tell ya dork." said Kevin as he laughed while pointing at Eddy, "Girls and money go hand-in-hand"
"Shut up." said Eddy in a bitter tone, after which he ground his teeth and continued working.
