In the history of the world, never had a thirteen-year old balanced more problems than Avatar Aang. There just couldn't have been one with greater responsibilities and concerns, right? Even other Avatars were only informed of their identities on their sixteenth birthdays, then given years to master the elements and understand the world before being expected to fulfill the role.

There were his duties as the Avatar, keeping a global peace and stopping the world from descending into chaos. And that was after he'd put an end to hundred year war, defeating the strongest firebender in the world. More difficulties were going to arise, probably for the remainder of his life.

His status as the last airbender also weighed on him. The teachings and lifestyle of his people now resided within him and him alone. Sure, some remnants of his peoples' influence could be seen and felt elsewhere. Guru Pathik had learned at least some of his culture in his time with Gyatso, but he had never lived as an airbender. Even Bumi had known other airbenders and their bending art. There were some enthusiasts who studied the Air Nomads; though one less than there had been since they most prominent amongst them had chosen to remain in the spirit world with a sinking library.

To make no mention of how some wanted him to repopulate the airbenders. Aang's ears still burned at the idea.

And then the problem currently aggravating him to no end, the one that was causing him the most emotional turmoil: his own romantic woes.

In various ways, these three duties intersected, overlapped and contradicted one another. Each needed its cup to run over with what he had to give to the others. It was no way to live. He simply could not go on like this for however long he had left in this world.

Today, he would settle one of these issues that plagued him.

Aang sat alone in his spacious suite. Before him lie a blank sheet of paper, his quill inked and ready. He stared at what should have already been a fully formed letter. But the words wouldn't come to him. Every time he attempted to pen the jumbled words and emotions in his heart and mind, he second guessed and disavowed them as lackluster or offending.

What should he say to Katara?

Nearly half a year had passed since their separation; the longest stretch of time without her since she had freed him from the iceberg he'd been sleeping in. He couldn't have triumphed without all his friends, their unique skills and moral support, but Aang would never have had that opportunity if not for the girl from the Water Tribe with the mocha skin he loved so much.

It had been destiny that brought her to him. And his own choice that separated them.

All over again he felt a surge of gratitude, affection and love for her. He wanted to pour his feelings out, but he had already made them clear, and the last he had heard from her, that night on Ember Island, she was confused. Uncertain. Surely things were different now that the war was over, right?

Why had she not made it clear since then? This uncertainty and anxiety was tearing him apart. Even the one letter that she had sent him did nothing to put his concerns to rest. Aang reread her letter once more.

Aang,

I hope you are doing well. Some troubling rumors about the Fire Nation colonies have reached us even down here. But I'm sure you and Zuko will sort everything out. You're the leaders the world needs most.

My trials are going well. It's been a lot of studying about the history of both tribes. I thought it would be more waterbending but it turns out to be more a cultural pursuit. I would essentially be an ambassador of the tribes wherever I go. I feel like they're really laying everything on me, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I really feel like I'm inheriting the full weight of my culture and history!

Is this is what you felt when you got your tattoos?

Please just be careful, you know we worry over you. Especially Sokka and Gran Gran. They wanted me to be sure to tell you to rest and eat well.

Even re-reading it the notion made Aang chuckle, because he knew who the true worrywart was. They all did.

Give Appa a belly rub and Momo a chin scratch for me. Take care of yourself, Aang. And please be careful. Not everyone in the Fire Nation is your ally.

Love, Katara

Grey eyes burned a hole into the paper.

Love. Of that he was certain. No matter what, he knew that Katara did love him. Even if she never returned his affections…

But what kind of love? He loved all of his friends dearly, and it wasn't the same type for each of them. He certainly didn't daydream about holding Zuko in arms. Aang shuddered.

That wasn't what he wanted from Katara. That wasn't what he had abandoned mastery of the Avatar State for.

Katara had once said that he was a cute little guy. Like Momo. That had stung fiercely. He had thought he might have given her a more… appealing view of himself in time, but what if that wasn't the case?

An embittered laugh escaped him. Maybe she had told him then and there how it really was all along? When she had suggested kissing back in the cave, had he blown his chances way back then? Aang cringed remembering what he'd said.

Why hadn't he been smoother? Sokka would have known what to do. Even Sifu "Hi, Zuko here" would have handled that better. He and Katara had looked very cozy when he found them together in the crystal catacombs…

His mind was erratic. He should meditate and calm the emotions, but didn't want to part with them, just as he hadn't wanted to when training with Guru Pathik. It had cost him dearly, nearly lead to the end of the Avatar. The potential consequences still made him shiver at times. Even still, even knowing what detriment this had been to him, he hadn't the will to separate himself from the girl he'd fallen in love with.

Aang put the quill down with a defeated sigh. This was getting him nowhere. And these feeling weren't going to pass. He needed to talk to someone about this roiling worry, but he immediately knew that it couldn't be Zuko. He really didn't get the impression that Zuko was much of a people person, even though he had a girlfriend. And his secret fears that Katara quietly held a torch for Zuko would make Aang feel… inadequate.

Even if Zuko seemed completely indifferent to it. That was what Sokka said, right? To be aloof? They didn't come much more so than Zuko… and Jet.

Feeling swallowed by the quiet of his spacious, sometimes empty room, Aang decided a walk would clear his head. Meditation was well and good but it wasn't always the answer to turmoil. There was plenty of room for other methods of relaxation.

He should take Appa flying soon. The weather was nice, and it had been too long since the two of them had simply flown for the sheer joy of the experience. It had become tainted as a means primarily of escape, associated with fleeing for their lives. These days Appa delivered him from one state of affairs to another. He was not simply a mode of transportation, as Zuko had told him months prior. Perhaps Aang had lost sight of that in his war against the Fire Nation, and the duties that ensued after their defeat.

He took a stroll through the gardens, casually tossing up a ball of swirling air with one hand and catching it with the other. The aroma of freshly pruned flowers engulfed him. He smiled at the small pond in which a family of turtle-ducks swirled around in. Fresh, young life, thriving despite all that occurred in the world…

It would be time for him to visit another of the temples soon.

He had penned a letter to the Northern Air Temple some months ago. The Mechanist had been understandably hesitant to apply his knowledge and skill craft on behalf of the country that had blackmailed his family and held him prisoner. Aang had explained to him that this was a new world, and Zuko was helping to guide it. That alone had not been enough to quell his suspicions, but the knowledge that his inventions now could help rebuild the Air Nomads seemed to open him up to the idea. The Mechanist had begun correspondence with some of the heads of engineering and development of the Fire Nation. Naturally he would not be meeting with the war minister that had organized the attack on the temple, one of many Zuko had reassigned.

As he walked along the stone path, barely touching down, he spotted Ty Lee coming from the other other direction.

He smiled upon seeing her. They had become fast friends and could often be seen speaking in various parts of the palace. Aang left Zuko to his duties as Fire Lord, not wanting to interfere or make it seem that he could not care for his people without the watchful eye of the Avatar. And Mai often spent what time she did have with the busy Fire Lord. That would leave Ty Lee unoccupied, and Aang had somewhat filled role that Mai had left.

Aang felt at ease with her whereas others seemed a bit put off by her emotional intensity. But he found her quite easy and enjoyable to talk to.

"Hiya, Aang."

"Hello Ty Lee. Going on duty?"

"Just getting off." She stretched backward, almost touching the ground wither tail of hair, before springing upward. "Boy, keeping Fire Lords safe sure can be tiring work. Not that I mind it. But… do you think he's going to need the Kyoshi warriors around for much longer?"

Aang frowned. "I'm not sure. There haven't been any overt signs of rebellion, thankfully. They say a lot of that died down when they found out I would be staying in the palace. They might find it hard to make a move while I'm around."

Saying it aloud, Aang wasn't sure he liked how much people might fear him. He didn't want to be feared or hated or worshiped. He wondered what Azula would say about that. Probably something about fear being a part of his strength. That he can't be respected without being feared. That his power, not his ideology, enforced peace.

"And that's why you stayed, right?" Ty Lee asked, interrupting his postulations.

"That is part of it. Mostly it was for Azula's sake, but the Fire Nation as a whole deserves a chance to rebuild itself. My being here helped convinced the other nations to allow it."

Things did seem to be going well. But there were always faint whispers of discontent that Zuko would tell him about. Nothing that warranted any action on their parts, but it was something they would have to keep their ears to the ground for.

At the mention of Azula's name, Ty Lee glanced around, biting her lip. "I'm not sure if it's proper for me to be asking this, but… how is Azula?"

Aang looked at her oddly. "Why would that be wrong? Weren't you friends?"

Ty Lee looked away from him. "That's the problem. Loyalties are easy to question, Aang. Especially in the Fire Nation. It doesn't look good if one of the Fire Lord's closest guards is still affiliated with the sister that wants his throne. Not to mention the other Kyoshi Warriors hate Azula too. It seems like everyone does… Not that I blame them, but still…"

"I see," he said lowly. He smiled. "Azula is doing much better. At the very least she isn't as… volatile," he said, trying to use diplomatic phrasing.

"I heard whispers around the palace, Aang. That she'd gone mad, banishing half the palace, not eating, shouting at nothing."

"She was never mad," Aang said. Ty Lee straightened at his tone, so he must have used more force than intended. "Azula was just stressed to a breaking point," he said more softly. "She's better now that she's been removed from that environment. Not seeing things, at least not that she mentions. She's lucid during all of my visits."

"Is she… happy?"

Aang frowned. "No," he said carefully, reluctantly. "That's a longer road ahead of us. There are a few factors I think she needs to be happy that she doesn't have access to at the moment."

"Her firebending," Ty Lee said immediately.

Aang nodded. "I don't think there will ever be a point in time Azula could be happy without her fire. That's why I refused to take it from her."

"You don't know… well maybe you do now, but you couldn't have back then. Firebending is Azula's life."

"Yeah. She's been behaving well since my visits started, so they aren't giving her a potent dosage. She'll be able to firebend again soon. But that alone isn't enough. She would still need her freedom to be happy."

"Freedom." Ty Lee nodded. "I would have gone crazy when I was locked up if not for Mai and the other warriors. I don't know how people stand it for so long."

Aang smirked. "Well I've done my share of time in the pin. You can get used to it. Really changes a man."

Her eyes glimmered. "Oh, I didn't realize you were such a bad boy, Aang."

"Oh yeah, that's me. Even stood trial once. Slipped out of my stockades but choose to stick around just to show em I'm not afraid of no rules."

Ty Lee gasped. "What sentence did they give you?"

"Managed to sweet talk them into giving me community service, not a big deal," he said, shrugging a shoulder.

Ty Lee clasped her hands and swooned with a sigh. "What a charmer you are, Aang."

They looked at one another and laughed.

"It should be okay to tell you this…. but Zuko worries sometimes. About a lot of things, of course, but Azula too."

"Really? I imagined he would, but he never talks about her or asks me about my visits."

"I think he feels like he doesn't deserve to know the answers. After he was going to let the Earth Kingdom have her as a hostage, I think Zuko feels like he betrayed Azula."

Azula definitely feels that way.

"Don't worry, Ty Lee. I've seen Zuko go through a lot. Nothing about leading a country is too much for him. He's got all the support he needs."

"Yeah, we've got to protect him," she said with a sudden fierceness in her eyes. "I never really gave it much thought, you know? About who was leading the country and what we were doing. It was just the way things were. But when I hear Zuko speak about peace and ushering in a new era, I realize he's the Fire Lord we've really needed."

"Well you might need to protect him from me," Aang said.

Her grey eyes widened. "What?"

"I might kidnap him and take him penguin sledding to help him relax," Aang said with a straight face.

She puzzled it out, then laughed and slapped his arm. A light touch, not like Toph at all. "Oh, Aang, you are such a joker!"

"That's me alright. An incorrigible prankster, I'm told."

"Thanks, I feel better. But are you sure you're not just looking for an excuse to go the the South Pole?" she asked with a suggestive smile.

Aang felt the trepidation he attempted to leave in his rooms return in a flood. Something he had kept smothered for unbearable months now. Hiding the pain from everyone around him at all times. He should change the subject. How embarrassing it would be for the world to know the Avatar was some lovesick puppy?

Although…

He eyed Ty Lee, who smiled openly at him. She had a lovely smile. So accepting and kind. Perhaps she was someone he could speak to about this matter.

It seemed odd to speak of it to another girl. The only person he'd asked for advice about his love life was Sokka. Aang harbored an irrational fear that speaking to one girl about it would somehow alert all the others, as though they shared a hive-mind connection beyond even his most spiritual understanding.

But Ty Lee was very in touch with her emotions, and he was certain she wouldn't make fun of him.

Perhaps that was the answer. He needed to get this out. Faced with that and continued suffering in silence, Aang made a decision.

"Ty Lee, do you have a moment to talk?"

She seemed surprised before giving him a salute, but rather than the proper one she would give to Suki, it was rather cutesy. "A Kyoshi Warrior is always ready to serve! And since you basically are Kyoshi, it should be doubly so, right?"

"I'm really not, though. If you meet her you might be pretty surprised."

"Need anyone protected or vanquished?" she said, striking a pose with her fan.

Aang smiled. "Not at the moment, but I'll keep the offer in mind." Hesitation grew in his chest, urging him to stop and pull back. He took a deep breath. "I have a problem and I'm not sure what the solution is. Can I ask you something? About… uh, about girls?"

Her already bright eyes sparked with greater vigor and interest. She clasped her hands and wore a smile that seemed entirely too delighted to Aang. "So it's the troubled heart of a budding young man! Well sure." She placed a hand on her bosom. "I consider myself something of an expert on women, Aang. Captain Suki doesn't like for us to wear our uniforms when we're off duty, so give me a chance to get cleaned up. Besides, this makeup gets itchy if you wear it too long. Meet me at the terrace of the west wing in twenty minutes."

"Alright. Thank-you, Ty Lee."

Aang made his way there and sat. He still felt a touch of nervousness as he waited, but Ty Lee's ready acceptance of his issue, without a hint of mockery, encouraged him. He had hopes that he could find a way out of this miserable uncertainty that was consuming his thoughts.

By the time Ty Lee meet him, dressed as in her usual pink garb, two cups of steaming tea and snacks had already been served. He thought if he should rise and pull her chair out as he did for Azula, but she just sat without preamble.

The acrobat took a swig of tea and breathed outward. She rested her chin on a steeple of laced fingers. "So you've got girl trouble, Aang?"

"I'm not sure I would call it trouble. I'm not really sure what to call it."

"But your aura seems so dim right now." She stared at him inquisitively, frowning. "This has been eating your up for a while now, hasn't it?"

Aang swallowed hard and nodded.

"Hit me."

Now that he had someone to talk to, he wasn't entirely sure which of his many thoughts he should start with.

"When a girl says she isn't sure how she feels about you, what does that mean?"

Ty Lee smirked. She held up a finger. "Rule number one, Aang: we're always sure. If a girl says that, it means she isn't interested in a relationship, casual or otherwise. She just doesn't want to say it. That's usually the case if it's someone that's close to her that she doesn't want to lose, or someone that she's otherwise going to have to deal with for an extended time, and she's trying to keep things from getting awkward."

Aang felt a cold settle in his stomach. He thought about the way Katara had melted into Jet's hands within minutes of meeting him. There had been no confusion or hesitation in her then. She had known she wanted to be with Jet, that he had an allure to her.

Had she ever looked at Aang the same way? Perhaps when they had been dancing… But even after that she was uncertain.

Not to mention that everything seemed to be fine between them as long as he didn't bring up how he felt. There was something lingering between them, wasn't there? There had to be!

"So," he swallowed again, the heavy, unpleasant weight in his stomach growing, "that means she probably only likes me as a… brother?"

"Maybe. If she's especially close to you. The heart wants what the heart wants. If she says she isn't sure, it's safest to take it as a very gentle 'no.'"

If he did that… What if she had been giving him a gentle rejection the entire time? Had Aang only been fooling himself, believing what he what he wanted to be true? Had he been crafting an illusion from his desire?

He was not yet ready to accept what he feared. "But what if she really is unsure, and you can convince her?" he asked.

"If she can be convinced, she'll give you a chance to convince her. Maybe she already has. Then she'll decide whether or not you changed her mind. Tell me, Aang, does this girl know you pretty well?"

"I'd like to think she does." Aang couldn't help the sinking feeling that Katara had given him a test and he'd failed without ever realizing it. Or maybe he hadn't even been worth testing.

"And does she know how you feel?"

He blushed and looked down into his tea. "I told her."

"Well that takes the mystery out of it then, doesn't it? If she already understands you, what could you do to persuade her that goes beyond being yourself? And if you had to change to convince her, would you? And if you had to, then she probably wants someone else."

Aang winced at the bombardment of philosophical questions, but he couldn't deny the wisdom in Ty Lee's words. He didn't want to change, not for anyone or anything. Aang was who he was. That was part of what allowed him to master the Avatar State and bend Ozai's soul without being corrupted. He liked the person he was. Anything he had to change to acquire…

He could do without. Hm…

Ty Lee observed the young man as he shifted from one expression to another. She could only give a gentle push in the right direction, but he would have to settle it for himself, so she remained silent a moment, enjoying the sweet pastries before her. When he seemed more keen to accept what she had told him, she spoke again.

"Aang, difficult as this may be to hear, the most appealing men are the ones who take rejection on the chin and keep pushing themselves forward. Nothing repels women more than desperation or hurt. So no moping! You've just got to live your life to the fullest!"

Sokka had told him to be aloof, and he seemed popular with girls the world over. But Aang had tried it and it obviously didn't work.

That really seemed to be more Zuko's thing, or Jet. But it wasn't Aang. And he didn't really want to be anyone other than himself, the denial of who one was would fundamentally degrade one's understanding of others and the universe they inhabited.

He sat quietly for several moments, unsure how to voice his current train of thought. It sounded petty as it formed in his mind.

"And what if I can't be friends without wanting more?" He felt disgusted with himself for feeling that way. It seemed so… impure. As if all that he harbored for Katara was disingenuous and self-serving.

"Then you cut her out of your life entirely. Don't talk to her. And try not to think about her. Eventually you'll stop longing for her."

Aang gaped. "I can't do that to K- well, to her! She's important to me!"

Ty Lee nodded sagely. "And I have no doubt you're important to her. It doesn't have to be forever. Just until you come to terms with your emotions and they pass."

Aang thought about it. His instinctively rejected the notions that his feelings would fade. But if he stopped obsessing over it, would he miss her less over time? Would the longing vanish if he ignored and neglected it, rather than nurturing it.

He had yet to make the effort to actually move on from Katara. And still thought of her as his goal in life, romantically. What would become of him if he were to let that go?

"I see… I think I understand now, Ty Lee."

He sounded so miserable that she couldn't help but reach a hand out to him, placing her own over his. "For what it's worth, Aang, you're a great guy. And I mean a great guy. You're funny, kind, strong, good looking and charming. Cultured and well mannered. And there's this other little thing, what was it? Oh yeah, you're the Avatar!" Ty Lee giggled. "Even if it's not the woman you initially desired, you'll never want for attention."

"You think so?" Aang asked, his face turning red from her assessment and from the contact. He'd never heard a girl speak about him like that! Roku did mention that being the Avatar didn't hurt his chances.

She looked at him seriously. "Aang, you could pick any town or city within any province within any nation. There would be women. And all sorts. Younger women, older women. Short, tall, skinny, chubby. Doesn't matter what you like, you'll be able to find it. They'd fall over themselves to be by your side."

Ty Lee tilted her head, and leaned forward, peering at his face. "You know, now that I'm looking more closely, you're turning into quite the cutie." She smirked and her eyelids lowered a touch.

His face warmed even more, but smiled back. Her smile made him feel good.

Women the world over falling for him. That was quite a thought. Aang had this insecurities like everyone else. Even a megalomaniac like Ozai feared not being able to measure up to his brother. He had never thought lowly of his appeal or himself in general, only down on himself given the extreme stress circumstances had challenged him with.

But her words did raise the confidence he hadn't realized was waning. He had hinged his value on being accepted and embraced by Katara as a lover. He'd become blind to the other possibilities. To the life he might lead with someone else.

For so long he had envisioned only being with her. And her only being with him. The idea of Katara with someone else created some the most uncomfortable and infuriating emotions he'd ever experienced. Just seeing those awful caricatures of Zuko and Katara professing their love while dismissing Aang as a kid brother had been heartbreaking. It simply shed too much light on his secret fears that Katara would never return his affections.

He had lost sight of the simple fact that there were others. He tried to envision himself with another woman. But did he need to use his imagination when beautiful woman sat before him now?

He looked at Ty Lee, who sipped her tea, but still wearing the same smile from before. Still giving him the same eyes. He imagined spending long days talking comfortably, as they were now. Spending their time walking the gardens. Their lips molding against one another in passionate kissing as they embraced.

Yes, he could imagine reaching over the table, grabbing her hand. How she would smile back, batting those long lashes at him.

Aang felt his body begin to rush with warm feelings. That was the hormones. They were usually tempered by dread and worry, but he felt neither when thinking of being with Ty Lee, only how bountiful her body was, how it would feel to hold her. He sipped his tea, and considered the breathing exercises and meditation her could engage in to quell these feelings.

Aang didn't bother. His mind flooded with the possibility of others… the women and girls he met in his travels, and he welcomed them. The thought of Toph made him chuckle internally. She was pretty, like a doll, but he wasn't certain he would survive the experience.

That Meng girl. She had liked Aang, but he didn't return her affections. And she had accepted that. The thought made Aang laugh at himself. She'd shown more dignity and grace, more maturity than he, a fully realized Avatar.

It was a freeing experience compared to what he had been feeling for months, captive to anxious thoughts of Katara meeting someone she fancied from the Water Tribes, fancied the way she had Jet. A reprieve that he took gladly.

Ty Lee smiled as she saw Aang laugh. Whatever was going through his head was lifting his spirits, she could see it in his aura as it brightened.

"I only have one thing left to say, Aang."

The boy returned from his reverie. "Yes?"

"Whoever this girl is, if she's not ready to give you a clear answer, she's not ready for a relationship. You deserve better."

It never occurred to him that Katara might not be ready for one. He'd actually assumed that was what she always wanted, given what maniac she was about romance. She'd talked Aunt May's ear off, hadn't she?

Aang stood up, feeling stronger than he had when moments prior. "Thank-you, Ty Lee. I really needed this talk."

She stood as well. "Happy to be of service anytime, Aang."

Something in her tone tugged at him. He wasn't sure if he had the knowledge of women to decipher it, but he felt some sort of… pull.

A bow might have been proper, but with Ty Lee, it warranted something else. He gave her a hug, which she was only too happy to return. He remembered the last time he had felt his, Ty Lee pressed up against him. He had cut it shorty simply because Katara had been present.

This time he savored the feeling of her body, the sweet smell that clung to her.

"You smell refreshing, Aang."

Aang swallowed. He loosened his grip waiting for her to take a step back. But she didn't. Ty Lee leaned back enough to look him in the eye. And there was that smile again.

His wasn't sure how to interpret it, but his body definitely had some ideas, and was running with a mind of its own.

Just when he felt himself about to surge forward and place his lips on hers, Ty Lee pulled back, a secretive smile on her lips.

"See you around, Aang."

She then walked away, stopping to give him a look over her shoulder, then giggled and practically skipped away. Aang watched, entranced, as she left.

Had he really been about to kiss Ty Lee? The thought alone should have made him feel guilty, but he honestly felt good about their interaction.

In the end, he couldn't force the issue. Let what is be. Give up the illusion of control.

There was nothing he could do or not do to force Katara to return his love and affection. She felt how she felt.

Her lack of response… had been response enough. Ty Lee was right, he did deserve better. At the very least, from himself.

The unpleasant feelings did not vanish, but they did abate, enough for Aang to pen a letter to Katara. It held no declarations of love, or any pining at all. He simply congratulated her on her achievements and wished her well. He told her a bit about his time with Azula, and assured her that everything in the colonies would be fine.

Aang stared down at the letter, reread it, then nodded.

Aang meditated for a few hours. He had let Katara go once. He could do it again.

With one of his three problems addressed, Aang turned his attention to his Avatar duties. He began writing a letter to the governor of Yu Dao.


In a letter preceding his upcoming visit, the Avatar insisted they meet as they had on his first. She imagined he meant sans the restraints, but his writing lacked that detail.

What would he say if she decided to be bound again upon his arrival? What kind of face would he make? He'd panic, more like as not, hurrying to loosen her restraints and apologizing for not specifying. She would then use that discomfort to extract something she wanted from him.

If she could stand to even consider the jacket and chains, she would do it for the leverage alone. She was smiling only because of that, and not at all because of the goofy expression she imagined on the Avatar.

When she arrived at their secluded area, she was surprised to see a pai sho table. She paused as she took it in, eyeing the table, then the Avatar, who stood smiling.

"Good evening, Princess."

She had mentally prepared herself to be neutral, even cold toward the Avatar. Their last meeting had left her head feeling soft. His tender words had accompanied her in the following weeks, haunted her as she trained and read.

The sound of his voice, his presence itself, mollified her misgivings. She felt herself relaxing in a way she would in the presence of her former friends.

Focus on something else she thought, turning her eyes away from his smile.

"Is this a challenge, Avatar?"

"I thought you might enjoy a bit of healthy competition."

So he remembered her words. Of course he did…

"Very well. I could use the chance to brush up on my tactics and strategies. And you could use the humbling."

Aang laughed at that. "I'll follow your most pristine example, Princess."

"Hmph. As you should."

After making sure she was seated, the Avatar faced her from across their battlefield.

Azula studied the board and the pieces before her.

In younger years she had been talented at the game when she tried it, but had fallen out of practice with the pieces. Azula always preferred the sight of live soldiers taking formations as they trained.

Her time at the beach had shown her that the mundanity of normalcy was beneath her.

He had brought her a selection of pieces to choose from. They must have come from the palace, which, unblemished from the war, held complete sets.

They were her tools for acquiring victory over the Avatar. She selected the pieces as a part of her arsenal.

The Avatar gave a magnanimous hand gesture, allowing her the first move. Azula immediately began tp set pressure on the front line.

He was as elusive and difficult to pin down as a breeze. She was relentless, attacking and advancing across the bored. There were times she would wear down his defenses, and times he would successfully bait her into expending her resources, only to stretch herself too thin, leaving her without the pieces needed to defeat him as he picked her apart.

Occasionally he would show her a formation of pieces that she had never seen or heard of. He explained that there were a number of styles and tactics in that had either dwindled in the last century or been otherwise lost.

He proved himself a competent strategist. It was a refreshing challenge to her. She attributed any of her loses to insanity, and her victories to her ability to overcome it.

"Where did you learn to play?" she asked, after nearly an hour, following her third defeat. It had taken him twice as long to vanquish her that time. She was narrowing the gap.

"Monk Gyatso taught me," he said, dexterously fiddling a tile between his fingers. "We played while we conversed and he taught me philosophy. Or even as we just talked in general; not everything was a lesson with Gyatso. He was different from the other elders that way. It sort of became second nature to play."

"You play like a tired, old man."

"I've definitely been feeling my age," Aang said with a grin. "I played with all sorts of people, back in the day. I even once participated in a tournament with the best players across the nations."

Azula raised her brows. "And how did you fare? Did you dominate the world?"

"Not a chance," Aang said, shaking his head. "I beat my first three opponents but I was smoked by one of the favorites. A former champion."

"Shame your pai sho talents aren't equal to your bending skills."

"Not really. I left the tournament feeling a little down, but that's where I met one of my best friends. A local kid named Kuzon. If I had stayed and played in the tournament, I probably never would have met him."

Azula paused her calculations, looking up from the board. "Kuzon?" she asked.

Aang nodded.

She narrowed her eyes, returning to the board. "I see."

"Something wrong?"

"Nothing. It's just an old fashioned named." It was just a coincidence. Not everyone connected to the Avatar was of great import, right?

"It's been a while since I played, so I was worried I'd be rusty. I played a few games with Mai to help me warm up before I got here. She's surprisingly nice. And Ty Lee enjoys showing me around the capital on her off time."

Azula snapped her head up at him, her subsiding fury roaring to the surface.

"Do not speak the names of those traitors in my presence."

Aang blinked. He had grown so comfortable with the three girls that he had forgotten to keep them separate. It was probably because he knew Ty Lee was worried for her.

"Forgive me, Princess, I wasn't thinking."

"Yes, that was a given from your sloppy play this match. Ha!"

She took the lead, snatching up one of his pieces.

"I didn't imagine you would still be so angry with them. You never mention them."

Azula pinned him with a baleful glare. He'd been hoping he could get through this visit without angering her.

"That is for a reason, Avatar. I hate them more than anyone. I should have had them executed when I sat on the throne."

Aang frowned. He thought to say something gentle, then shook his head. Better to be direct. Braced for the inevitable fallout, he spoke.

"You don't mean that, Princess."

"You presume too much, Avatar."

"Do you remember what you asked me about why I didn't kill Ozai?" he asked.

She stilled. Her eyes narrowed, shifting from the board game to him.

"You said I had the power to do it. Well, you had the power to execute them right then and there at the Boiling Rock. So why didn't you?"

She glared at nothing. "They were unworthy to sully my hands with. Let them rot in prison rather than be consumed by Agni. Death by my flame is too good for them."

Aang shrugged. "You had soldiers to do the deed for you. From what I understand it would have been as simple tossing them into the boiling water."

Azula remained silent.

"But you didn't. You must still care about them."

"Yes," she drawled in a contemptuous tone, "for I am indifferent to suffering of others, Avatar. I only care to see those two suffer for what they did."

"From what I've gathered it was a tense situation. They only did what they thought was right, Princess. They-"

"They betrayed me!" she yelled in a tone of pain Aang had not heard from the princess since he'd first seen her in the dungeon. "Mai chose my idiot brother over me, and Ty Lee chose Mai."

Aang drank some of his tea, considering his next move. Having learned of the history between the three, he happened to find the accusations false.

He moved one of the pieces. "Did they?" he asked. "Or did you betray them first?"

Azula's eyes fastened to him again, and Aang wouldn't have been surprised if he spontaneously burst into a pile of ashes right then and there.

She bared her teeth, but kept her voice to a low hiss. "And what is that supposed to mean, Avatar?"

"Do you remember when we first met?

"In New Ozai," she said in a sharp tone.

"Omashu," he corrected.

Azula leaned back. He expected some cutting remark, but she merely nodded. "Very well. Since that old king took back the city by force, he earned the right to determine its name. Omashu."

"The governor sent us an offer after we got everyone out of the city."

"Yes, after you lot kidnapped his son. A commendable tactic, from whosoever came up with the idea. Since I'm certain it wasn't you. Was it the oaf?"

"We didn't kidnap him. He arrived to us from happenstance. We were just trying to get all the civilians to freedom."

"I heard there was some plague outbreak."

"Not quite. We just used subterfuge to make the guards think that so they'd open the gates. That was Sokka's idea."

Azula made a mental note to increase the bounty once more. She'd decided that for every story she heard of the "idea guy" coming through with a plan to ruin their conquest, she'd up the bounty for his head. It would be her only acknowledgment of the oaf.

"Somehow in the exodus, Tom Tom arrived in the group."

"You expect me to believe that was coincidence?"

Aang sighed, shrugging helplessly. "Princess, that's one of the more believable parts of our journey. But that isn't why I brought it up. We accepted the trading of Tom Tom. Bumi and I go way back. So of course we agreed."

"The trade never happened, but…" She narrowed her eyes on the airbender. "The boy. They say he magically appeared to them after that battle. A blessing from Agni."

Aang took a sip of his tea, but the cup wasn't quite large enough to hide his joyful smile. "Yeah, that's good for the family."

So this is the face of modesty she thought. She was certain he had never brought the deed to Mai's attention, even after he began living in the palace. She certainly would have used the deed to demonstrate what a good friend she was.

"Princess, we arrived for the trade. Unless it was meant to be a trap the entire time for the resistance leaders, you changed the terms of the deal."

"I did not. I simply convinced Mai that the deal was unfair. She called it off."

Aang clenched his cup of tea with more force than needed as a quiver of anger coursed through him. "You and I both know better. You made Mai choose between pleasing you and saving her brother."

"What I made was a calculation. I saw how well the boy was being treated and his lack of distress. I knew you would lack the resolve to harm him, given that you did not demand the trade, but Mai's father did. And considering that the child was returned unharmed, it was the correct one."

"Maybe. But would a friend put another friend through that? Why did you let Mai walk into the meeting think that the trade would take place?"

Azula pressed her lips together into a thin line.

"Because you wanted to test her loyalty on the spot."

"I couldn't let the strongest earthbender in the world go free! It was a poor trade."

"Bumi offered no resistance, he was no threat. He willingly returned to captivity. If you had understood his character, you would have known that's what he intended, right? You could have had Tom Tom and Bumi both without a fight."

Azula considered this. Bumi's entire plan had been surrender. He had all his forces stand down from the moment their army had arrived to take the city. Perhaps she could have understood his character better, but would that have been reasonable?

"Let's move on to your betrayal of Ty Lee," the Avatar said.

Azula felt phantom pains in her joints at the name. "Oh, this should be good. How did I turn my back on her, hm?"

"She told me about how you recruited her to hunt your uncle and brother. She was perfectly happy to remain at the circus, but that didn't mean much to you, did it?"

Azula released the snarl that had been building in her chest. "It is the right of royalty to conscript necessary talent in vital matters."

"You conscript a subject. You don't conscript a friend, Princess. You ask them for help."

"I did ask," she said through clenched teeth. "She said no."

"And you didn't respect her decision. Instead you chose to terrorize her until she complied. Did you treat Ty Lee like a friend? Or like a tool?"

"If only I could be as perfect as you," she spat, venom dripping from her tone.

Aang shook his head, smiling sadly. "That's the thing about friends, Azula. You don't have to be perfect for them. There were plenty of times that I was selfish, and immature." He hung his head. "Even dishonorable. I once hid a letter from Katara and Sokka. It was from their father."

Azula raised a brow. She would have never imagined the kind monk were capable of such cruelty. "Why would you do that?"

"I was afraid of being abandoned. I thought they were going to meet their father and stay with him, and I'd have to go the North pole on my own. I was so afraid I was going to lose them. Apart from Appa, they were all I had in the world. I kept the letter for an entire day."

"How did they find out? Let me guess, they found it in your boot?"

Aang shook his head. "I told them. I couldn't handle the guilt."

Azula scoffed. "That was your mistake. If you are going to deceive, you have to commit."

"You should commit to being honest with your friends. And yourself."

"And what was the result of your honesty?"

"Well, they were hurt. And they left me to go to their father."

"So you were right all along, then. You should have kept the letter secret to secure their allegiance."

"Princess, you are missing the obvious."

She glared at him, like a predator ready to sink its teeth into their quarry. "Is that so?"

"They came back. Katara and Sokka forgave me. They turned away from a reunion with their father to continue on with me. Supporting me, helping me, saving me. I never would have survived without them. Without all of my friends."

"Yes, your ragtag crew of misfits that managed to topple the greatest empire this world has ever seen with your friendship and bonds. How touching. So you survived one moment of discourse. That makes you such close friends?"

"There were many more times when we were at odds. Times the group almost didn't survive. But those tests only made our friendship stronger, made us love one another more. Because we endured it all together."

Aang took a breath, and considered one of his greatest failures, his most dishonorable offense. He didn't want to share it with Azula for a number of reasons, all of them personal. But it would help him help her.

"I first tried to learn firebending before I had mastered water or earthbending. I lacked discipline, patience. I wanted to use the power of firebending without mastering myself. In my arrogance, I burned Katara."

Azula perked up at this. "I must say, I'm quite envious."

He narrowed his eyes at her, but continued. "I was reckless, and impulsive. I didn't respect what fire was capable of… what I was capable of. Sokka was furious. He had every right to be. But that, too, they forgave me for. No friendships can survive without forgiveness and understanding."

"Are you saying I need to forgive them for betrayal? For treason?"

"Yes. For your own peace of mind, forgive them. And in turn, ask for forgiveness."

Azula slammed her fist onto the table, the pieces jumping as if spewed from a geyser, then scattering.

"I'll be damned to the darkest, most bottomless pits of a sunless hell before I ever apologize to them!"

Aang sighed. Her response wasn't unexpected. But they needed to talk about it.

When he went to pick up the pieces, Azula scrambled to beat him to it. She began to place the tiles back on the board, Aang realized she was placing them back where they had been.

"Wow. That's some impressive memory."

"Remembering the positions of your forces and the enemy's locations is the most fundamental lesson in strategy. Don't think you're off the hook from our game just because I lost my temper for a moment."

Aang frowned at one tile in particular. He leaned down to examine the piece thoroughly. He looked up Azula, suspicion gleaming in his eye.

Azula stared at him impassively.

"This piece wasn't so far forward."

"Yes it was."

"No it wasn't!"

"So you're calling me a liar?"

"I don't think I'd be the first, Princess!"

They glared at one another. The Avatar was surprisingly competitive.

Azula crossed her arms and looked away. "Well, I suppose if we can't come to an agreement on this matter, we must simply consider the match a draw."

"No it isn't! Knocking the board is an instant forfeit!"

"Which you only saw fit to bring up after seeing the pieces arranged and realizing you were at a disadvantage."

Aang took a deep breath. He happened to know that he was very skilled at the game. Enough that it had actually helped him make friends from all over the world, before he had been frozen. He was proud of his skills, which he learned from Gyatso himself, not unlike his airbending. The monk had been ruthless in pai sho, and so Aang had to be on equal footing with him or be knocked down.

He wanted to give Azula a challenge. It was most certainly not about winning.

"Very well, Princess."

She raised a brow at him. Her eyes shot open as Aang's tattoos began to glow in a way she hadn't seen in nearly a year. The light faded quickly enough that she was uncertain it had been there at all.

Aang opened his eye, and motioned to the board. "I believe it is your move."

Four minutes later, she was trying to burn holes into the board and its pieces with her eyes. Her forces surrounded, her territories claimed.

"Looks like I win, Princess," Aang said with a beatific grin.

Azula huffed, the very spirit of indignation. "Yes, well, you must be so proud of defeating an insane woman."

His old reflex to admonish Azula for deprecating herself didn't emerge. Instead the comment made him smile.

He held up a finger, taking a most posh expression. "A cheating insane woman," he corrected. He peaked one eye at her, grinning at her glare.

"I'm cheating? You're the one invoking your past lives!"

Aang rubbed his chin in a thinking man's posture. "I don't recall any rules against that."

"Consider it a condition of our matches going forward," Azula growled.

"Ah, alright. I just figured you could handle the Avatar State no problem," Aang said, shrugging. "I mean, you're always going on and on about besting me when I used it."

A vein bulged on Azula's temple. It seemed she finally found the one area in which the Avatar showed no mercy. And so she would respond on kind!

"You have besmirched my honor, Avatar! I demand a rematch, posthaste!"

Aang chuckled. "As you wish, Princess."

They cleared the board, each taking back their pieces. Azula calmed. Despite her drive to win, she found that she was enjoying herself. She was focused but also comfortable.

Their earlier conversation came to her, and she thought of something he had said to her on his previous visit.

"Were you surprised to see me?" she asked, mirroring his question from another conversation, on the eclipse.

"Hm?"

"At the exchange for King Bumi."

"Well, yeah. I thought the Governor and a few guards would show. That's what the note said." Aang chuckled. "I definitely wasn't expecting three pretty girls to be heading the exchange."

Azula quite deliberately did not to react to his comment, reaching for her tea, and studying the board. Her train of thought was now thoroughly derailed.

She rarely encountered any boys in her life. Only servants and men of power would frequent the palace. Their ages typically ranged from adult to advanced to elderly. But in her capacity as the daughter of the Fire Lord, she had on occasion mingled with noble sons when their parents came to speak with the ruler of their nation.

For those few who had been brave enough to approach her, they would heap flattery upon her, always relishing her with praise. Sometimes they would mention her status as a firebending prodigy, but that was even more rare than finding courage amongst them, as every one of them found her intimidating. Most could not bring themselves to highlight the quality that made her too powerful to tame.

Every single one of her would be suitors had, without fail, complimented her beauty. These comments always rang hollow to her adept ear. An easy and safe compliment. Though one young man had earned a sincere smile from her when he compared her to a strike of lightning from clear skies.

One of the innumerable ways in which the Avatar was different. Half a year of contact and not once had he commented on her physical appearance.

A part of her felt relieved. Azula prided herself in her beauty, and considered an immaculate appearance a crucial aspect her intimidation and superiority. Ty Lee was no longer around to quiet any misgivings she might have had, and the only man she'd encountered in her time never complimented her.

The Avatar treated her like a lady, but she had been unsure he ever saw her as a woman. He didn't seem concerned about his comment as he too studied the board; it had been thoughtless, without calculation, and that was how she knew it to be genuine. She found herself pleased that he noticed. But she couldn't let him know that…

Why not? a voice in her head asked. Certainly it was one of the insane ones, to pose such a question.

However…

The Avatar had just paid her a compliment. He hadn't isolated it to herself, but she had been included. Would it be wrong to acknowledge it? Was she meant to be above such things? Azula had fed off of praise, no matter how vain or inspired by fear. They were admissions of her superiority just the same.

If nothing else, Ursa at least left her with a beautiful face, which was more than Ozai did for his son.

And… it would certainly be interesting to see his reaction.

She lowered her cup of tea and lifted her eyes to his face. "I'm pleased you noticed. The royal groomers had worked very hard to make me presentable."

"Well," Aang said, stretching the word, unsure if he had unknowingly tread into dangerous waters. "Of course I noticed, I just didn't really have time to appreciate it. You know, what with you trying to kill me and all," he said with a nervous chuckle.

Azula stared at him. She felt her lips curve into a smile that lacked its usual sharpness. "I'm not trying to kill you now."

The Avatar froze, his cheeks sprouting a blush, and Azula restrained the urge to laugh. A feeling of victory sweet as honey flowed through her, the likes of which she hadn't ever felt. She had feminine charm! She had flirted successfully! She supposed her luck was better with men that weren't afraid of her.

And as far as she knew, that list had one name on it.

Aang found himself stammering. What was Azula doing? This was not a part of their dynamic. Or, rather, complimenting a lady on her appearance was the norm, true, but he had Katara…

No, he didn't. He'd never had Katara, he'd been faithful and loyal to someone that wasn't his.

So then… what was to stop him from paying Azula a polite but truthful comment about her beauty?

Aang studied Azula for a moment. She was a gorgeous creature, he couldn't deny that. He simply never gave her such appraisal given their… relationship. But she had given him open permission to look, if not one of her silent demands that he do so.

She was beautiful, and while he had never seen her figure, hidden as it was beneath layers of robes or armor, he was certain it was something to behold.

Aang paused his thoughts there. He downed the rest of his tea in one swig, then poured himself another cup.

"I would say the royal groomers never had a very demanding job, Princess."

She smiled at him in way she never had before. Aang felt himself heating up, and decided now was a good time for his calming exercises. He focused the entirety of his being on the game. For the rest of his visit Aang knew nothing but pai sho and breathing.

Azula did not win another match that day, but she felt victorious just the same.


Azula basked in the sunlight of dawn as it washed over the island. She let its warmth run over her, through her, permeate her being, seep into her skin, her blood, her bones. She let it simmer before the heat spread from the core of her being outward.

Her perfect breathing brought it out. She could sense it.

Her flame.

Where silence answered her call before, she now heard something, felt the heat within her surfacing. Struggling, rising, resisting its constraints. A spark compared to the inferno it had once been, a soft cry of a candle that could be snuffed out by a breeze.

Her dosage of the abominable herbs had lowered considerably. She had to take them; the nurses always watched her. She had a mind to take a sip and boil it in her mouth before spitting it into their faces.

But she refrained. Azula behaved.

How had Zuko dealt with such a life of indignity? Oh how she had once delighted in the suffering her brother had enjoyed.

And yet… the palace had felt so empty without him. Without their mother. Once Ty Lee and Mai had moved away from the capital, she'd had nothing but her father, war ministers, and servants. Life had been satisfactory. Sometimes even fulfilling.

There were times she would wander by his old rooms, now empty and awaiting the return for a prince that would forever be banished. Because the Avatar had not been sighted in over a century.

She had wanted him a bit closer even if was only to have someone she could torment.

That feeling of pettiness emerged, an emptiness that followed her vindictive thoughts. In her mind, she would see him. The disappointment in his eyes even as he tried to hide it from her.

She shouldn't care what the Avatar thought of her. Why should she? She didn't! She was above his judgement. She should be…

But when she found her mind drifting to places she knew he would disapprove, that feeling of smallness soon followed. The effort to hold on to such vicious thoughts. Why were her energies directed toward such things?

Her doctor had asked her a question that had left Azula reeling.

"Why do you cling to such cruelties?"

They came to her without summoning, but she also sought them out as a source of strength. Embraced them in ways she had never been able to embrace people, as though they were her only solace in the world.

She saw her farther as these things, and saw them as the embodiment and symptoms of power. Strength, true strength, was cold, merciless. Attacking any slight great or small without relent.

Who would she be without her cruelty?

Azula considered what would have become of her had she been… kind. Trusting. The person the Avatar believed she could become.

What would her life be like if she had shown compassion? Mercy? Well she wouldn't be imprisoned, simply by virtue of being on the winning side. Those were the same things, were they not? Would she have been strong enough to keep herself alive?

Azula walked her life backwards, looking for the affects.

Her last and final mistake in the war. Fighting Zuko in the condition she had been in. What if she had surrendered? The idea itself filled her with loathing so strong she could taste it in the back of her throat.

Perhaps her brother wouldn't have incarcerated her. But she likely would have still been a dangerous bargaining chip for him, one he would be inclined to distrust. Could she have guilted him into letting her stay in the palace? Most likely.

No, that still held an element of blackmail, some form of manipulation. It was hard to stop herself from looking for advantages over others.

She would need to go further back. She had tried to kill them all in the Western Air Temple. That hadn't been particularly cruel, had it? It was just a battle. She hadn't the chance to play with anyone.

The Boiling Rock. She felt a pain on her legs and realized she had curled her hands so violently into the fabric of her pants that she had pinched the skin there.

The Betrayal.

Mai. Even now Azula saw her dancing in blue flames in retribution, as she tried to imagine what she should have done.

If she hadn't attacked Mai in rage, for the audacity of choosing Zuko over her, if she had sentenced her to prison or… forgiven her? But… she committed treason. It wasn't cruelty to punish her. Was it not mercy to deliver a swift death without involving her family?

No. She knew why she had attacked Mai. It had been anger and spite and jealousy.

If she hadn't been prepared to attack Mai, then Ty Lee would not have attacked her in turn. Then she would have had Ty Lee by her side, at the very least… unless her betrayal was inevitable as well. Was it as the Avatar claimed? Had she already betrayed the acrobat?

Azula shook her head. Things were still too muddled. Too many transgressions. She needed to go further back.

She'd enjoyed toying with the Avatar and his cohorts during the eclipse. Oh the looks on their faces when the earthen prison around her had crumpled! Toying with the oaf, taunting him about Suki's capture, playing him like a fine instrument.

That had been needed subterfuge to protect the Fire Lord. It didn't really matter if she enjoyed it, did it?

Maybe she could have only done that because she was a cruel person, which lent credence to her father's teachings, that it was necessary.

But then… if she had chosen the same path as Zuko. To defect to the enemy, become an ally to the Avatar, teach him firebending. Would they have accepted her? They had taken Zuko in, but something told her that it would be different for Azula. Zuko had never been merciless, he had probably shown them some form of weakness, some vulnerability over the time they had interacted.

And she couldn't imagine the water witch ever accepting her.

Cruelty burned bridges. She could probably never be friends with any of them.

No one was as forgiving as the Avatar. It seemed he would be her one ally in this world.

Another step back in time.

Lying about the Avatar's demise, and giving Zuko the credit in order to cover for herself. But.. had that been a betrayal? Zuko had sided with her, yet he had lied to her about his suspicions about the Avatar being alive, as a harshly worded conversation with father, following her brother's exodus, would attest.

So Zuko hadn't trusted her at that point, but… she had given him plenty of reason not to beforehand, had she not?

Frustration began to mount, but Azula kept her body still. Where was it? Where was the moment that could have so drastically altered the course of her life?

Had she been cruel in Ba Sing Se? Holding Kuei hostage, turning the Dai Li, infiltrating the city using the guise of Kyoshi Warriors. That was simply war.

She couldn't think of anything she'd done while traveling the Earth Kingdom

Although… there was Suki. If she hadn't taunted and toyed with captain of the Kyoshi Warriors, she wouldn't have gotten the info needed to stop the oaf in his tracks. Information that she needed to perform her duties. There were too many instances where her supposed cruelties were the needed edge that tipped the scales in her favor.

Omashu. She'd forced Mai to chose

Azula's eyes snapped open. The Avatar knew her too well. She had forced Mai to choose. Between obeying her and keeping her infant brother safe. But she had calculated the resistance wouldn't hurt the child; the tender way they held the child, the lack of fright, they had clearly gone out of their way to comfort him. At least she had assumed so; weren't children ordinarily such noisy and finicky creatures?

And even if she had thought they would do away with the child… Azula knew herself. She still wouldn't have traded the powerful king for the toddler. They would just have to make a new one, and be more careful with it.

She shivered. That may have been the most cruel thought of her life. She tried to shut everything out, create only nothingness in her mind, but still he appeared. She imagined him right across from her, his eyes shining with compassion, but disappointed all the same.

Had that warranted betrayal? Perhaps it wasn't just one mistake she had made that lead into it. She could imagine it had been the first brick laid down on that path.

She had forced Mai to choose once. When the choice came upon her again, she didn't choose Azula. But the one she loved.

And Ty Lee. Forcing her from the circus, where she had been happy. Azula convinced herself that she was doing Ty Lee the favor she hadn't known she needed; removing a lady of her standing from such a tawdry convention in order to serve the Fire Nation.

What was she to do? She needed her skills, and craved her presence.

She had betrayed them.

Why hadn't fear been enough to keep them in line?

Had her friendship simply not been enough to inspire them to her side? The way the Avatar had for his friends? Clearly not

Could it have been? Even in their childhood she had tormented and bullied them. But she had to be superior them, and they had to know that, or their loyalty would be fleeting.

She had been the perfect princess. And they still turned against her.

The perfect princess… but a terrible friend.

She was overthinking it. Looking for any reason or excuse for her failures. Perhaps it was that simple. The bonds the Avatar forged through friendship and heroism had proven superior. Enough so that they actually weakened the control she had asserted through fear.

Hope, love, benevolence. Those concepts that she had once scoffed at, that a part of her still held in contempt, had prevailed over everything she believed. They now ruled over the world. Over her.

Azula fell out of her meditation and hung her head. She felt defeated all over again. The anger and hate she felt for Mai and Ty Lee was no less potent. Yet she could feel it shifting, beginning to focus on herself.

There had been a point in her stay, her incarceration, whatever it was, that she had felt better. More at ease. The stress removed from her life. Piecing her mind together, letting it cool, like a blade reforged by Piandao himself.

She would never, could never accept being stuck here for life, but she had come to acknowledge that no matter how much she resented her brother, the doctor, the nurses, the existence of the island and the facility itself, it had done her some good.

No longer did she feel an upward slope in her journey. Every time she accepted that something was not as she thought it to be, that she had been mistaken in how she treated others… Azula began to hate herself. Hate the mind that still commanded her to commit such deeds, that they were her responsibility, her right.

As much as she had embraced cruelty for the sake of power, it seemed to be at the core of her being. As if she had no other choice, and could be no one else.

Who was she without cruelty? The thought of living without it made her feel empty, because she was uncertain what could fill that void.

Would it leave a space for others in her heart?

Could she become a person worthy of that love? That inspired devotion and caring the way the Avatar did? That she could have people at her back and never feel fear that they would betray her, because she knew she would give just as much for them?

And if she could… If she had the capacity to become someone like that… who would be by her side?

She found herself with a thought that would have sickened the princess she had been. The face she couldn't stop herself from imagining.

I want to see him.

She thought of Mai and Ty Lee. Let their faces linger in her mind. Ty Lee's bright and happy eyes, Mai's smile, as small and sharp as her knives. Her eyes burned and tears welled.

Azula silently consoled herself with the pitiful longing for what would never come to pass.


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