Authors Note:

Hello Everyone,

Just wanted to wish everyone reading a happy and healthy New Year. May all of your resolutions be fulfilled, and all of your goals achieved.

Without further ado...Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Forty five minutes had passed since Lindsay declared cheer practice to be over. The halls of Peach Creek High were now filled with students, exchanging books at their lockers, and fraternizing with their friends.

In contrast to the hustle and bustle of the school corridor, the first floor boys bathroom, located a few doors down from the Ed boys homeroom, was quite tranquil. The large wooden door muffled the noise of the students passing through the corridor on the other side; the white subway tiled walls acted as a resonance chamber, causing any occupants voices to echo.

Currently, the restroom had only two occupants, Eddy and Rolf. Rolf was currently dressed in a three piece suit and,while the intent was for Rolf to look presentable, Eddy's influence had in fact caused the opposite effect. The suit jacket was brown in color, and had several tears in the area of the sleeves. The undershirt was a bright, neon green color and was accented by a yellow tie. The pants were purple in color, and were complimented by a pair of red and white bowling shoes. The entire outfit appeared to be really old and unwashed, and was a complete eye sore.

The boys stood in front of the bathroom mirror, with Rolf leaning over the sink with a smile, as Eddy opened a can of sardines he had retrieved from his kitchen cabinet.

"Alright Rolfie Boy," said Eddy, "We got ya looking sharp, now let's get ya smelling fresh!"

Eddy removed the lid to the sardine can, and dipped his hand in the juice. He slapped it across Rolf's face, as if it were aftershave. He then dipped a tooth brush into the fish scraps, and shoved the brush into Rolf's mouth, ensuring that he scrubbed every nook and cranny of the foreign adolescents oral cavity.

"How's it feel Dapper Dan!" said Eddy with a smile.

Rolf turned towards Eddy.

"Ed boy!" said Rolf, "Rolf cannot describe how grateful he is for all of your assistance in familiarizing Rolf with your local customs!"

Eddy was extremely taken aback, as the smell of Rolf's overwhelming and disgusting breath contacted his nose as he spoke. A few seconds passed, after which Eddy recovered.

"Perfect," said Eddy quietly, "This will surely gross out that prissy bimbo enough to keep her away from us permanently."

"What was that you say Ed boy?" asked Rolf.

"I said you're the life of the party Rolfie boy!" said Eddy, as he placed his arm around Rolf's shoulder, "With these duds, you'll have Lindsay begging to be your...Schmet...whatever you want to call her."

"Thank you Eddy," said Rolf, "Rolf must be going, as he must stop at his locker to retrieve his educational supplies."

"Wait Rolf," said Eddy, "Don't forget your hat!"

Eddy reached into a gym bag located on the floor by his feet and removed a large fish head. He opened the fishes mouth and placed it on top of Rolf's head, it's juices dripping down his cheeks. Rolf smiled.

"Ho ho, the Salmon of Schnitz," said Rolf, "How could Rolf forget!"

"Knock em' dead Rolfie boy!" yelled Eddy as he pushed Rolf towards the door.

It just so happened that, at the same time that Rolf had reached the bathroom door, Double Dee and Marie were walking down the hallway towards homeroom, holding hands as they conversed happily. As the couple approached to the door to the boys room, Rolf emerged, and proceeded to skip down the hallway, humming to himself as the fish he wore on his head leaked fluids. Double Dee and Marie watched with confusion and disgust as the boy disappeared around the corner, at which point Eddy emerged from the bathroom chuckling to himself.

"Eddy?" said Double Dee, his unexpected presence causing the stout adolescent to jump in surprise.

"Oh hey Sockhead, whats up?" said Eddy as he leaned against the wall adjacent to the girls bathroom door, "Just helping Rolf dress for good luck for the science test today."

Eddy winked towards his intelligent best friend, having no idea that Marie had already been informed of his plan in secret.

Marie discretely nudged Double Dee in the ribs, causing him to glance down towards her face. Her eyes were filled with concern, as she nodded her head towards Eddy, signaling her boyfriend to attempt to persuade Eddy to stop once again.

Double Dee slowly but surely walked towards Eddy, raising his index finger in the air in preparation to deliver yet another morality based soliloquy to his short best friend. However just as Double Dee was about to enunciate his first word, the door to the girls bathroom door flung open with force. Unfortunately, due to Eddy's position, the stout teenager found himself caught between the door and the adjacent wall, which caused him to be crushed between the two when the door reached it's fully open position.

The individual responsible for opening the door happened to be Nazz. She emerged from the bathroom carrying her backpack, her face displaying an annoyed expression as she stomped rather angrily out into the hallway. As she made her way into the hallway, the spring loaded device used to automatically close the door began to perform it's duty, revealing Eddy literally plastered to the wall with a dazed look on his face.

Marie took notice of Nazz's irritated demeanor, unusual for the plucky girl, and decided to engage her in conversation.

"Hey girl," said Marie with a smile, "It's not like you to be in Ksipta, what's going on?"

Nazz sighed as she turned toward Marie.

"I quit the cheer squad." said Nazz

"Quit the cheer squad?" asked Marie with surprise, "You love cheer, what the hell happened?"

"I do love cheer," said Nazz, "I just can't stand the new management anymore."

"Oh yeah, I forgot," said Marie, "Lindsay's large and in charge of that operation now, and you do have to be a little nuts to want to be involved in anything when she's the boss."

"I just can't stand it," said Nazz as she began pacing back and forth, "First, she used new designer handbags to buy the love of all the girls on the team, which of course got her elected to captain. Second, she changed all the uniforms from sleeveless to long sleeve, regardless of the season, just because she never wants to wear short sleeves for whatever reason. Then, to top it all off, she started talking down to us like we're stupid and have no idea what we're doing, but she isn't even that good at dancing herself."

"Sounds like the Lindsay I know," said Marie with a hint of sarcasm.

"Just a heads up," said Nazz as she turned towards Marie, "Lindsay's planning to use the cheer squad, and this new crazy routine she made up, as her act for the talent show on Wednesday night. That's why I quit, I'm not going against my true friends for that mean girl wannabe, that would be so uncool."

"Nazz, you're awesome," said Marie as she placed her hand on Nazz's shoulder, "I know how much cheer means to you. Don't worry, Lee's going to show that bitch what it means to be a dancer when she takes the stage Wednesday night."

Nazz smiled at Marie's statement, as did Double Dee. At that point Double Dee turned towards his attention towards Eddy, who had finally recovered from his collision with the door. The short boy was currently dusting off his jeans.

"So Eddy," asked Double Dee, "How are you and Lee progressing with your ballet routine?"

"Same old, same old," said Eddy as he approached Double Dee, "Just two more days till showtime, then it's all over."

"I'm glad to see your unbridled enthusiasm to perform has not wavered in the slightest," said Double Dee sarcastically.

"Hey, I'm just glad that Lee scared Kevin enough to stop him from blabbing about me wearing tights to the whole freshman class." said Eddy, "At least I don't have to face the humiliation of everyone showing up and laughing at me that night."

At that moment, the loud, booming oafish voice of Ed rang through the hallway.

"Extra Extra read all about it!" yelled Ed as he rounded the corner, and promptly ran up to the group of four.

The goofy Ed boy was smiling as he leaned backward, flailing his upper body like a flag characteristic of his running stance. May, of course, was running towards the group along with her boyfriend, her face adorned with a wide smile, as she held a copy of the newest issue of the school newspaper under her arm. Finally, traveling a few paces behind them, was the tall, slim figure of Lee. She rounded the corner and approached her friends at a much slower, less exuberant pace. Her eyes were somewhat obscured behind the lenses of her black rimmed glasses, due to reflections from the hallways fluorescent lighting. Her face displayed the typical cynical expression characteristic of the young lady, as she made her way towards her friends at walking pace, her high heels clicking loudly on the marble floor.

"Whoah there Lumpy!" said Eddy, "What's got you two goofballs so spun up?"

"Didn't you see the Weekly Whiner?" asked May as she grabbed the school newspaper with her now bandaged right hand. She held the front page of the paper with both of her hands, her arms outstretched towards Eddy's face.

"The holiday talent show is the front page feature, and they listed all of the performing acts." yelled May excitedly, "Ya'll are celebrities!"

"What!" yelled Eddy in a distressed intonation, "Let me see that!"

Eddy snatched the newspaper out of May's hand, and repositioned it to view the front page. Double Dee, Marie, and Nazz all positioned themselves to read the article over Eddy's shoulder. No sooner than the short Ed boy laid eyes on the text, did he began reading out loud.

"Holiday Talent Show to Kick Off Wednesday Night. As everyone knows, the Christmas season would not be complete without the Peach Creek High Holi..yada yada yada..."

Eddy's eyes scanned down the page for a few seconds, eventually finding the information he was searching for.

"List of Acts...Lilly performs Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Darryl reads an original Christmas Poem, KiltedEngineer to perform Holiday Suite on the Bagpipes..."

Eddy silently searched for a few more minutes, at which point his eyes widened.

"Annalee Kanker and Edgar Skipper McGee to perform select dances from the Nutcracker, the famous ballet by Teachovski!"

"Tchaikovsky, Eddy," said Double Dee correcting his friend.

Eddy ignored Double Dee's correction, continuing to stare at the words as he ground his teeth. His grip on the newspaper tightened, as his face began to turn red with anger.

A few seconds passed, at which point Lee suddenly snatched the newspaper out of Eddy's hand.

"Alright, alright," said Lee, "We already know what we're doin'. The question is, what is Little Miss Bimborowski planning."

Lee adjusted her glasses, after which she quickly scanned the page. It didn't take long for her to find the information she was looking for.

"And featuring a special surprise appearance by Lindsay and the Lindsettes." said Lee sarcastically, "Huh, 'special surprise appearance' I wonder how many of the newspaper editors she blew to get that bold statement in there."

Lee tossed the newspaper on the ground, after which she repositioned herself next to Eddy.

"Well Nazz just enlightened us on what that special surprise actually is," said Marie, "It's just one of Lindsay's stupid cheer routines. She's planning on using the whole cheer squad to win everyone over."

"Huh," said Lee, "Typical of the dumb broad. Buy everyones friendship, and use them to mask the fact that she sucks at everything she does. If that's all she's got, I got this in the bag."

Lee leaned down towards Eddy, reached toward his cheek, and pinched it with her long blue fingernails.

"I don't need no fancy schmancy stunts or fake friends," said Lee, "With my little cutie by my side, I've got everything I need to win. He's been working so hard for me, he's the best boyfriend in the world."

Lee kissed Eddy on the cheek in a long drawn out manner, after which she flipped her hair behind her shoulder. She glanced towards May with an amorous expression.

"So May," asked Lee, "How's our set coming along? I heard from a reliable source that you're quite 'handy', so I'm sure it's turning out great."

Lee giggled amorously after she completed her statement. As Lee delivered the word "handy", she made a hand motion similar to one rolling dice; an obvious allusion to the act that May was participating in when she and Ed wound up stuck together. It took a few seconds for the connotation to register with May, after which her face turned red. She whipped around towards Marie.

"Marie!" yelled May in a long, drawn out manner, "You promised you wouldn't tell anyone about that!"

"Sorry May," said Marie as she giggled, "I couldn't help it, it's just too funny. Besides, how were you supposed to explain that bandage on your hand you nimrod?"

"You could have just told her I cut myself by mistake like I told Mommy and Daddy!" yelled May.

As the two sisters continued going back and forth, the three Ed boys remained in their positions. Double Dee observed the argument with a neutral expression, while Ed rubbed the back of his head as he glanced toward the floor out of embarrassment. Eddy remained deep in his own thought, his teeth clenched as he stared down the hallway with an angry glare.

Finally, Lee decided to once again play the mediator to her little sisters.

"Alright, whatever!" yelled Lee as she stepped between her two sister, attempting to end the argument, "I don't care who get's it on with who, as long as it doesn't get in the way of my plans."

"Cool your jets Lee," said May, "We're almost done. We just got a little bit of touch up paint to do. We'll be done by tomorrow night, right Ed?"

Ed swiftly moved towards Lee.

"Have no fear Lee," said Ed in an enthusiastic tone, "You can absolutely count on us, I promise your set will be done faster than you can say Supercalifragiliciousexpititosis."

At that moment, Ed reached his hand towards Lee, his pinky outstretched as he smiled dopily.

"I offer you the pinky promise,"said Ed, "Once we lock fingers, schoolyard rules say I cannot go back on my word. That's how serious I am."

At that moment, May's eyes widened as the smile disappeared from her face. At the same time, Marie bit her lower lip as if she was nervous. Ed was acting upon his unbridled innocence; however Lee seemed less than entertained with his offer. While the cynical Lee often reacted to childish antics with simple ignorance and no emotion whatsoever, Ed's offer seemed to illicit a difference reaction. Her blue eyes began to appear glassy, her eyes themselves becoming just as reflective as the lenses of her glasses.

"There's no time for that!" said Marie as she suddenly jogged towards Lee, grabbing her left hand in hers, "I just remembered, we forgot to stop at our lockers to get our books, and we only have five minutes until homeroom. See ya in class boys!"

Marie practically drug Lee to the end of the hallway, and around the corner, with May following closely. The Ed boys remained in their positions, with Ed somewhat confused at the events that just unfolded, and Double Dee slightly perplexed.

"Interesting..." said Double Dee under his breath as he placed his hand on his chin.

Double Dee thoughts were immediately broken, for as soon as the girls were out of sight, Eddy's face turned a bright hue of red. This was followed by an extremely loud, drawn out scream, with the volume of what seemed to be a train horn. As Eddy screamed, he grabbed the school newspaper in his hand, and proceeded to tear the paper to shreds. The display somewhat frightened the other two Ed boys, who stood watching the display with expressions of extreme concern.

Eddy finished tearing up the paper, after which he stood still for a few seconds breathing heavily.

"How...in the hell...did the school newspaper get my FULL NAME!" yelled Eddy.

"Well Eddy," said Double Dee, "I know from working on the Tattler back in middle school that the newspaper often retrieves student information directly from the identification registry. They must have reported your information based upon your student ID."

Eddy groaned.

"And that's just the beginning of my problems!" yelled Eddy, "Now the whole damn school is gonna know that I'll be prancing around on stage in tights Wednesday night. I'll be the laughing stock of Peach Creek High!"

"Calm down Eddy," said Double Dee, "I'm sure that the student body will..."

Unbeknownst to the Ed's, they were currently not alone in the school corridor. As Double Dee began his lengthy, morality based speech, it just so happened that Lindsay was traveling down the cross hall on her way to homeroom. As she came to the intersection, her ears detected the Ed boys voices. Accordingly, she decided to duck behind the corner wall attempting to eavesdrop on their conversation.

"Eddy I beg of you," said Double Dee, "Please calm your nerves and attempt to look on the proverbial bright side!"

"Listen Sockhead," yelled Eddy, "I've been being held hostage against my will for the last few weeks, all because of this stupid kiddie stuff that Lee can't get over. First I'm forced to spend my earned money to take her to this stupid dance, then she forces me to get involved with this dumb talent show. Geez, I'm even spending any little free time I have doing everything I can to get Rolf to gross Lindsay out enough to leave Lee alone!"

"Hello," whispered Lindsay to herself, as she adopted a sly grin.

"I hate to say it Double Dee," said Eddy, "But is it worth it anymore?"

"Eddy, you can't possibly?" asked Double Dee.

"I don't know Sockhead," said Eddy, "I don't know."

Eddy began walking down the hallway, his head facing towards the ground. Double Dee and Ed briefly shared a somber expression, after which they jogged to catch up with their friend.

Lindsay observed the boys as they walked away from her position, eventually disappearing around the corner leading to the opposite cross hall.

"The scales are tipping in my favor," said Lindsay as she rubbed her hands together, "Perhaps one final push is all they need to tip them over."

Following the completion of her statement, Lindsay continued on her way down the hallway towards her original destination, cackling like a witch.