The butler knocked on the study door and announced "Lady Matlock".
Mr. Darcy stood up, bemused. His Aunt Martha must have met his uncle and Aunt Catherine who were just leaving. What was her visit all about?
His aunt did not enter the study. She stuck her head in and said "We would be more comfortable in the drawing room". Without waiting for Mr. Darcy, she headed for that room; Mr. Darcy heard her telling the butler to have tea served there. Before following her, he opened the strongbox contained in the chiffonier behind his desk chair and took out some banknotes.
When he entered the drawing room his aunt held up her hand "Hold your questions until the tea has been served."
The tea appeared quickly; Mr. Darcy supposed that it had been ordered when his first set of visitors had shown up on his doorstep. He and his aunt exchanged the usual pleasantries until the butler, and the maid who had brought the tea, vacated the room.
"I am surprised to see you so soon after Lord Matlock and Lady Catherine" said Mr. Darcy.
"I had followed them thinking that you would need my services as a peacemaker; to pour oil on troubled waters, so to speak. Imagine my surprise to see them leaving so soon. And what on earth did you say to your aunt to have her so downcast?" asked Lady Matlock.
"I did not say anything to Lady Catherine that I had not said to her a hundred times before. It was that letter Anne sent to the newspaper – I showed to her and it was like she suffered an epiphany. She had always refused to believe me when I told her repeatedly that I would never be part of her scheme, but with that letter she realized that Anne was lost to her scheme as well. I told her to let Anne live the life Anne wants to live, whatever that might be; but if Anne must be married off, let it to Richard."
Lady Matlock nodded. "I've often thought they would go well together" she said and then sighed. "But we'll have to wait until he's back from that dreadful war and see what happens then."
Mr. Darcy reached into the inner pocket of his jacket and took out the banknotes, four ten-pound notes, and handed them to his aunt. "For the letter."
She looked at the banknotes and then put them in her reticule. "I owe you some change."
He waved his hand. "Treat yourself at Gunter's. That does not come close to erasing the debt I owe you for helping to put an end to Aunt Catherine's marital hopes."
"Speaking of marital hopes, Richard told me of yours. You want to find a woman like Miss Elizabeth Bennet and marry her."
Mr. Darcy nodded. "That is exactly what I want to do and I would greatly appreciate any assistance you can provide me in that regard."
"My, you certainly will be in my debt if we succeed."
"I will be, and I will honour any demand for payment you make on me …" Mr. Darcy thought for a moment and continued "as long as it does not harm another."
"Fair enough. Now tell me everything about this Elizabeth of yours. Both your aunt and Richard have given me their impressions of your lady; they were mostly in agreement if you take into account they were describing different sides of the same coin, but I want to hear yours. Leave nothing out, no matter how small. We have all day; I can stay for dinner if necessary."
So, Mr. Darcy laid it all out – what he observed, what he thought (save for those salacious thoughts he had had regarding the person of Miss Elizabeth, not that they would have shocked his aunt, a mature lady who had birthed three children), what he was told, what he overheard, what he concluded – from his insult at the Meryton assembly, through his courtship of, and intended proposal to, Elizabeth at Rosings, to being jilted at the church in Longbourn village.
Lady Matlock occasionally interrupted his narrative to clarify some point. One of these concerned Mrs. Bennet.
"You say Mrs. Bennet is the worst match making mama you've seen." When Mr. Darcy nodded, she said "I'm curious as to which of her five daughters she pushed at you. Was it Elizabeth, or perhaps the eldest, Jane?"
Mr. Darcy had to think a moment. A long moment. The only direct interaction he had had with the Bennet matriarch was when she and her younger daughters had visited the ill Jane at Netherfield; and she had been decidedly cool to him then. He had to concede she had never tried make a match between him and any of her daughters; but what about Bingley. And Collins.
"She conspired to have her daughter, Jane, stay at Netherfield."
"She did?" Lady Matlock's gimlet eye pierced Mr. Darcy. "She compelled the Bingley sisters to invite Jane to a dinner on a night Mr. Bingley would be absent? She called up a torrential rain storm to keep Jane at Netherfield, but one that was not so bad as to keep you and Mr. Bingley from dining with the officers? She conjured up an illness to strike her daughter down, but not kill her, so Jane had to stay at Netherfield but in circumstances such that propriety prevented Mr. Bingley from visiting her sick room? Really, if she has all those spells in her power, I must make application to the lady for lessons."
Abandoning a losing proposition, Mr. Darcy tried another tack. "She tried to marry Elizbeth off to Mr. Collins, Aunt Catherine's fool of a rector."
"And rightly so, she tried to marry off one of her five dowerless daughters to the heir of their entailed estate. I would've questioned her sanity if she hadn't."
"But why Elizabeth …"
"As I understand it, at the time expectations were that the eldest would marry Mr. Bingley, as Elizabeth was next eldest it was logical that she be offered up to Mr. Collins" said Lady Matlock.
"But …"
"You've already told me that by time you left Netherfield you had decided not to offer for Miss Elizabeth so you objecting to Mr. Collins offering for her at that time is as churlish as the proverbial dog in the manger.
"But back to Mrs. Bennet, and why she is the worst match making mama you know – did she ever try to trap you, or Mr. Bingley, or Mr. Collins, or anyone else for that matter, into compromising one of her daughters?"
"No." Mr. Darcy started to glower.
"How many times have you had to escape compromises in the ton? Three, isn't it?" asked Lady Matlock.
It was five but Mr. Darcy was not about to correct his aunt. She was supposed to be helping him, not pointing out how stupid he was.
"Yet you still think Mrs. Bennet is worse than the mothers behind those failed compromises. And I can assure the mothers of the ladies involved were very much involved in the planning, if not the execution, of them; I was privy to discussions dissecting the failures in some detail."
Lady Matlock was not finished in chastising Mr. Darcy. "And what of the matching making mama who has afflicted you the most? I speak, of course, of your aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh. If Mrs. Bennet is worse than your aunt then she truly is a dragon of the first circle."
Mr. Darcy stood up and threw his hands in the air. "Fine, you've made your point, I am stupid."
Lady Matlock pointed her finger at Mr. Darcy. "You will sit down and show some respect. If you want my help in securing someone of the supposed quality of Miss Elizabeth Bennet, and you certainly won't be successful going on by yourself as you have, you will accept all the abuse I justifiably heap on you. Now quit pouting and finish your story."
And so, Mr. Darcy did, but not before being roundly mocked for what he considered to be his courtship of Miss Elizabeth Bennet at Rosing, and having his proposed proposal critiqued in excruciating detail.
Then came a break during which Lady Matlock sought relief and Mr. Darcy sat, beat up and exhausted, as if he had just finished three hard rounds at Gentleman Jackson's saloon. But there was to be no respite for him, Lady Matlock came back, looking fresh as a daisy, and started pummeling him again.
This time it was about 'why he wasn't such a big prize in the ton's marriage mart as he thought he was.'
