Chapter 39
Around a half hour had passed since Edd and Marie had left the stage to take their seats in the audience, and the talent show was in full swing. The auditorium was pitch black, with the exception of the stage which was fully illuminated by two large spotlights located on the balcony.
Eddy's large, somewhat stern father, and his rather overbearing yet loving mother had taken their seats in the left wing of the auditorium. While Eddy's father wasn't thrilled about his son dancing ballet, he was happy that his son was a gentlemen, and willing to go to any length to make his girlfriend happy; a trait which he held in high regard.
Elsewhere, Ed's happy-go-lucky mother sat with her hands folded, smiling happily as she observed each students performance. To her right sat a highly unenthusiastic Sarah, who would have much rather stayed at home and baked cookies with her best friend Jimmy. She was currently leaning back in her chair, with her elbow resting on the armrest and her cheek resting on her fist. Jimmy himself had also tagged along with Ed's family; as was the case with Ed's mother, the young boy smiled joyously, not only for his love of theater, but also for his innocent love of the Christmas season.
Nazz's mother and Julia had successfully found a parking space, and had found their way to the two seats Nazz had been saving for them. While Julia had inherited Nazz's mothers personality, Nazz had inherited more of her fathers calm, cool, and collected personality. Accordingly, while Ms. Van Bartonschmeer and Julia happily paged through the program anticipating the next act, Nazz remained neutral, leaning her head on Kevin's shoulder. Although she was excited to see the show, especially Lee and Eddy's act, she couldn't help but find herself upset at what had become of her beloved cheer squad.
The fourth act was finishing up, and consisted of a group of four sophomores. The four boys had started a heavy metal band, and had arranged a set of five traditional Christmas songs into the hard rock style. While the boys idea was quite creative and of good nature, the obnoxious music did impress the audience as planned.
Backstage, Eddy and Lee remained in their positions, standing in the area that would be called "stage left." Lee, while rather nervous herself, remained completely calm and collected, holding her boyfriends hand in a laced finger hold as they stood in the darkness. Eddy had hardly moved a muscle, and continued to appear as if he had just eaten an entire plate of hot chicken wings. His face was bright red, and he appeared to clear his throat every few minutes. Lee glanced down, noting Eddy's nervousness, at which point she briefly squeezed his hand, signaling him to look up. Lee simply stared down into his eyes with a smile, silently letting him know that "everything's going to be fine".
Within seconds, the band had finally completed their set. The band struck their final chord as the lead singer raised his hands in the air, outstretching his pinky and index finger in a common "rock salute". As Eddy and Lee watched the band demobilize, with the crowd delivering their applause, a familiar voice chimed in from behind the two.
"Wow, if the audience thinks these losers were good, I most certainly have this in the bag!"
The two teenagers turned around at the sound of the voice, unenthusiastically laying eyes on who they had expected to see: Lindsay Statorowski. Lindsay had changed into her cheer outfit in preparation for her performance. The outfit consisted of an orange skirt, a white long-sleeved shirt with the Peach Creek High School logo, and light blue sneakers. She stood with her right hand resting on her hip, with her hip relaxed to the right as she remained fixated on the stage with a sarcastic grin. Standing behind Lindsay was the remainder of the cheer squad; the twenty additional girls were all dressed in similar outfits to Lindsay, and had gathered into a large crowd in the corner of the waiting area.
Lee turned towards Lindsay with a sarcastic expression of her own.
"Gee Lindsay," said Lee, "I would have thought you would have been out here when the first act started providing your oh so interesting feedback. Nice to hear your wit is still intact, I guess that means you ain't nervous about blowing it."
Lindsay, like Edd, Eddy and Marie before her, was taken aback upon hearing Lee's voice emanate from the mouth of the girl she saw standing before her. Her face maintained an expression of shock for a few seconds, as she had briefly failed to recognize her former friend. It wasn't until she noticed Eddy standing next to Lee in costume, that she shook off her confusion and regained her calm, collected demeanor.
"So you finally gave in and decided to actually act a little feminine for once." said Lindsay as she circled around Lee, checking out her costume, "I'm not one to be easily impressed, but I have to admit you really came around and pulled this one off quite well."
Lindsay ceased circling Lee, eventually taking a position directly in front of the red headed girl, leaning into her face. Due to both girls being the same height (5'9"), their eyes were able to with little effort.
"But a dolled up face and pretty little pink dress isn't gonna be enough to beat me." said Lindsay, "The whole freshman class knows my name, and nobody knows you except for the dork parade."
"It's called a tutu, moron," said Lee, "I'm surprised you didn't know that, I figured being a prissy debutante and of supposed higher social status you'd be a little more cultured."
"Like, grow up Annalee!" said Lindsay in a long, drawn out manner, "I mean c'mon, that ballet stuff is for little girls. I took lessons when I was six, and quit when I was eight. I needed to focus on real dancing, you know."
"Well, let's just see if all that focus paid off." said Lee sarcastically, " Good luck, and break a leg. Literally."
"Thanks," said Lindsay, "But I won't be needing it Hun."
At that point, the student body president took the podium and announced that it was time for the fifth act, "A special presentation by the Peach Creek High School Cheer Squad, lead by Captain Lindsay Statorowski."
"Well, Geek Girl," said Lindsay, "Looks like I'm needed elsewhere. Sorry I have to go first, but somebody's gotta set the bar high. See ya later, losers."
Lindsay turned around, signaling all the remaining girls to follow her onto the stage by snapping her fingers. The girls sprung into action without hesitation, as following her is if they were dogs on a leash.
"Enjoy the spotlight while you got it!" yelled Lee, "Cause the audience is gonna get a taste of real talent instead of fake showboating when I take the stage."
Lindsay said nothing, but continued walking as her face displayed a cheeky grin. Within seconds, the girls had arranged themselves to perform their dance routine, with Lindsay of course being front and center. As she ensured that all of the girls were in their proper places, she briefly turned towards Lee one last time, and delivered a sarcastic wink. Lee merely stood her ground, refusing to react to Lindsay's gesture.
As Lindsay turned her attention back toward the area of the audience, awaiting the curtain to open, her face adopted an expression of sadness. She looked toward the ceiling, closing her eyes as if she were in deep thought, only opening them when she sensed the bright lights of the balcony spotlights beginning to shine through the retracting curtains.
As the curtains opened, revealing the Lindsay and the entire cheer squad, a significant amount of students (mostly from the sports teams the cheer squad supported) proceeded to deliver applause. Lindsay stood with her hands on her hips as she displayed an exuberant smile, with the remainder of the girls following suit.
Out in the audience, Nazz remained emotionless as she watched the curtain unveil her former source of pride. Kevin sitting directly next to Nazz, appeared equally lethargic, as his sole purpose for attending was to view Eddy's performance.
Rolf, however, seemed quite excited for the upcoming performance. The eccentric boy was smiling happily, and clapping as loud as he could for his "Beautiful Schmetlockin". The boy leaned forward in his seat, his eyes laser focused on the object of his affections, as he became lost in his own little world of love.
As the applause began to die down, Julia leaned into Nazz's ear and began to whisper.
"Hey Nancy, how come you're not up there?" asked Julia in a rather air-headed manner, "I thought the cheer squad was your life."
"It was," said Nazz, "Until Ms. Perfect up there became Captain and started treating people like crap. She's nothing but a bully and a control freak, and I couldn't stand being around her."
"Ugh, I hate bullies," said Julia, "They're, like, so mean. That's seriously uncool. That's too bad about the cheer team though. I would have thought you would have been elected captain. I mean, at the beginning of the school year, every time we talked on the phone you said all the girls thought your routines were the best, and you had all kinds of plans to make the team better. I mean, it's gotta sting that they would suddenly change..."
"Julia," said Nazz in a monotone voice.
"Yes Nancy?" asked Julia.
"Just shut up and watch the show." said Nazz.
"Watching!" said Julia as she turned back towards the stage, taking hint of Nazz's desire not to talk about the hostile takeover of the cheer squad.
Just as the Van Bartonschmeer sisters completed their conversation, the sound of a famous song by a female, 90's pop musician began playing loudly over the auditorium loud speakers. As the music played, the cheer squad began executing "pop and lock" dance moves in synch. Lindsay herself led the group in a "call and response" manner, with Lindsay executing the moves, and the remainder of the girls following in suit shortly thereafter.
After around a minute of executing synchronized dance moves, the girls split up in groups of threes and began executing various acrobatic maneuvers involving lifts. As the girls continued their routine, Lindsay remained front and center, executing her own dance moves while delivering flirty smiles and winks to the audience.
As Kevin watched the performance, bored beyond belief, he decided to comment on the situation.
"This is so stupid," said Kevin, "This is supposed to be a talent show, not another performance of the same routine we get at every football game."
Kevin rose up out of his seat, and turned towards Rolf.
"C'mon Rolf," said Kevin, "Let's blow this lame fest and go out to the hallway and get some sodas from the snack stand. By the time we get back, it'll be time for Dorkie to take the stage."
Kevin began walking away from Rolf's position, taking two steps through the aisle before realizing that Rolf had not moved a single muscle. Kevin turned back towards his friend, who remained in his place watching the show as if he were in a trance. The red-hatted Jock returned to Rolf position, and leaned into his ear.
"Hello, earth to Rolf!" yelled Kevin, attempting to overpower the loud pop music.
Despite Kevin's more direct approach, Rolf still did not respond to the jocks proposal. Rather, the boy remained focused on the stage, in particular the blonde haired girl currently conducting her performance.
While Lindsay had no musical rhythm, or talent for dancing whatsoever, Rolf's imagination told a completely different story. While loud music filled the auditorium, from Rolf's point of view the auditorium was completely silent; in his mind, the auditorium was completely empty with the exception of himself. Likewise, the remaining members of the cheer squad had disappeared, leaving Lindsay as the sole performer.
Rolf watched as Lindsay seemed to dance in slow motion. The girls eyes sparkled under the lights of the auditorium, as they remained focused on Rolf's as she danced. In the boys mind, Lindsay was a much more talented dancer; she rocked her shoulders and gyrated her hips with fluidity as she smiled, delivered winks, and blew kisses in Rolf direction.
Rolf remained fixated in his dreams for another second, after which the true source of the voice was finally able to get through to the love crazed boy.
"Yo Rolf!" yelled Kevin, breaking Rolf out of his trance, "C'mon man let's go, or we're gonna miss out on Eddy's performance."
Rolf glanced at Kevin with an air of confusion, after which he turned his attention back towards the stage. The music had changed from a pop tune, to that of a dance tune, the lyrics of which detailed the life of a famous blonde doll.
"No thank you Boy Kevin," said Rolf as he smiled dreamily, "For Rolf must remain seated to watch his Beautiful Schmetlockin and her strange yet satisfying movement of the hip joints."
"Whatever man," said Kevin, "I gotta make a note to get ya to a shrink after tonight, cause you're getting sick."
Kevin passed Rolf's position, on his way out to the snack stand, but not before inviting Nazz, who gladly followed due to her aggravation with the performance.
A few minutes passed, after which the girls performed one final lift routine in groups of six. The girls then lined up in rank and file, performing one final synchronized dance, after which Lindsay began walking towards stage left in stride with the music, swaying her hips as she smiled and waved to the audience. The rest of the group began demobilizing one-one-one, with the left half of the group following Lindsay off of the stage, and the right half exiting to the other side. As the girls exited the stage, the audience delivered obligatory applause, the loudest of which came from Ms. Statorowski and Rolf. As the last two girls exited the stage, the music faded out and the curtains began to close.
Back stage, Lee and a very nervous Eddy remained in their positions at stage had watched the entire performance, and like the remainder of the children of the cul-de-sac (with the exception of Rolf) they found it relatively unimpressive. As Lindsay exited the stage, she immediately honed in on Lee's position, making her way over to the ballerina with a witty smile.
As Lindsay approached, Lee placed her hand over her mouth, pretending to yawn as if to make fun of Lindsay's act.
"You can deny it all you want," said Lindsay, "But you know yourself that your little boring ballet routine is gonna be the act that puts the audience to sleep."
"We'll see about that," said Lee, "Looks to me like half the audience scattered during your performance, I guess they wanted to see something new, not the same boring cheer routine they see every Friday."
"Wow, harsh," said Lindsay, "Don't lash out at little old me cause people want to see hip modern dances to exciting music, and not a Sugarplum Doofus spinning around to boring old people music."
Lindsay laughed as she began walking towards the door leading out to the hallway.
"Well, I guess I should extend the same courtesy to you as you did to me, and wish you good luck!" said Lindsay, "You're gonna need it if you want to beat me in a popularity contest!"
Lee said nothing, completely ignoring Lindsay's foolish antics. She continued to hold Eddy's hand, who appeared to be in a catatonic state, as she watched the blonde girl make her way out the door into the school corridor.
