A/N: No thanks to me, the chapter's finally here.
Lots of Editing Gang input in this one, particularly Ariel, Quentin, and the Sloth, but also from the rest of you. I appreciate your hard work.
Happy New Year to my readers. Please read the works of SLotH4 and Xabiar!
'People ask me what it was like when Liara and I got back together. I don't have a good answer to that. I think a part of me was terrified – because this time, it was Liara who was hurt, who was a mess, who saw herself as a monster – and it was on me to fix that. Me! People talk about terror and fear of dying, or losing, or whatever. I've never been afraid of any of that shit – but realizing if you fuck this up, the only source of light, love, and happiness you've ever had will be gone and it's gonna be your fault?
'That, let me tell you, is fucking fear.'
-Sara Shepard, excerpt from the book 'Lay It On Me'
Joker slumped against the cool metallic wall of the hallway outside the medical bay, his Cerberus uniform rumpled and his scarf slightly askew. He hadn't slept in what felt like days, even though it had been only hours. Next to him, Dost sat quietly on the bench, fiddling with the connectors in his cybernetic hand.
Joker's voice was thin and tired sounding. "You ever get tired of… this? The waiting? Not knowing what the doc will say when they come out? Having to watch and… just feel like shit?"
Dost gave a chuckle, closing the access panel on his wrist and tugging the synth-skin over it. "It's old hat to me by now, man. I've been taking hits for Kiala since the day I met her. It's a bit easier for me since I can be down there in the fighting and keep her safe, but it doesn't get easier when you realize any suit breach could be the big one."
He looked up, the broad features of his face giving him a tired look. His shoulder and chest were still heavily bandaged, and his left leg was entirely wrapped in a cast. Joker had overheard Doctor Sedanya telling the big man it would probably require cybernetic replacement, the femur was shattered in multiple places and bone fragments were too spread out to be safely removed.
After a moment, Dost spoke. "To be honest, I think you have it easier. Yeah, you have to sit far away from the fight and watch her get hurt, get shot, get blown the hell up – with nothing you can do to help. Now imagine that same feeling… but she got hurt because you weren't quick enough, or you missed a shot, or you didn't cover her six good enough. She's bleeding because you failed her."
He sighed and fixed his gaze on the door, and Joker shuddered. "…Yeah, that would be worse.
Goddammit. I hate this…"
The door in the far wall opened, and the busty figure of Doctor Natalia Kyursko came through, pulling omni-gel gloves off of her hands and pulling down the full-suit head covering she wore. "Good news and bad news, loverboys. Good news – both of your exotic ladies are alive and well."
Joker closed his eyes and said a silent thanks to the Lord, while Dost merely nodded. "And the rest?"
Kyursko shrugged. "The bad news is not terrible, but not great. Tali will need a cybernetic knee replacement – there's almost nothing left to attach a bionetic to. And Kiala is… still in severe condition, Mr. Dost. She's going to need cybernetic augmentation to her spine and both shoulders. Her left leg is not salvageable – that will require full replacement. The torso shot has left her… er, thaus-a organ… damaged. It's like a liver in humans, only serving more functions. We'll have to try cybernetics with it, and that's chancy."
Dost exhaled shakily. "Define 'chancy,' doc."
The Russian doctor folded her arms, the clear plastic clean room suit she wore crinkling. "The quarians don't have a cybernetic replacement for it, so we'd have to jury-rig something… and that's not a thing that will work all that hot. Quarian health is fragile enough – cybernetics are always a possible infection source. Given that she's not as young as Tali and had years of poor nutrition and haphazard medical care, I'm not comfortable with her taking part in any more ground combat for any reason. The next time she gets hit like this, your wife will probably die."
Dost nodded slowly. "She won't like that… but I'm more than a little relieved. When can I see her?"
Kyursko shrugged. "Six-Hawks came in after finishing with whatever he was doing earlier for the post-op and cyber siting ops. He was finishing up marking when I cycled out – we'll move them both into Clean-Six and you can wait for them there."
She walked off, and Joker bit his lip. "Fuck. She's not gonna be happy about more cyberware."
Dost gave a grunt. "Neither am I, Jeff. I'm gonna get my left leg lopped off tomorrow and be on my ass in a hospital for a week. Shit, at least we'll match."
Jeff sighed as he turned to head to the clean medical recovery rooms when his omni-tool chimed.
"Moreau." Miranda's voice sounded over the link. "Checking in. Have they finished surgery on Tali and Kiala?"
Joker only sighed again.
O-TWCD-O
Shepard stared through the observation window into the room beyond, arms folded. "So, how did the operations go? You said she'd be awake soon."
Doctor Sedanya finished entering something into the terminal she was seated in front of before speaking. "Medically speaking? She's stable. The shot to the shoulder was severe enough to shatter her clavicle and the surrounding tendons were shredded, so we have had to implant minor corrective cybernetics there. Two torso shots were extremely bad – she'd have bled out in another hour – and the burns had to be treated and the tissue force-regenerated."
Sedanya stood, flexing her back as she did so. "As for the rest of her injuries, they weren't good. She'd taken enough severe biotic hits that half her skeleton had stress or hairline fractures, and we had to keep her in the bone regenerators two entire days. She had nerve damage from some kind of internal detonation in her cybernetic hand. That has to heal naturally, we've done all we could. We had a very difficult time repairing the damage to the left eye socket, but whoever crafted her cybernetic implants was a genius. We'll still have to replace the eye itself, but the housing is fine.
Her legs, well… we did what we could, but the tech-mine did too much damage."
Shepard nodded. "And the rest?"
Sedanya gave an asari shrug. "I'm a medical doctor, not a counselor. Yet you don't need to be an oceanographer to see a tidal wave. She shows signs of extreme stress, a number of poorly healed wounds, and severe abuse of several types of stimulants, depressants, and other drugs. Her nutritional balance is shot, and there are signs of self-harm. She's likely to be fragile, both mentally and emotionally… I believe humans call it 'post-traumatic stress disorder.' Our own term is 'aftertide mental disarrangement.' They mean the same thing, and she's not going to get over it quickly."
The doctor paused. "For more in-depth details, or suggestions, I suppose you might wish to talk to Doctor Chambers. She is a psychologist, after all."
Shepard shrugged. "Yeah, but Kelly's not an asari."
Sedanya made a sign of siari agreement. "That she is not. I know Liara is a tough person, but right now she's more like broken glass." She glanced at the medical readouts in the observation room. "There's signs of elevated brain activity, so she'll be awake in the next five minutes. If you wish, I can handle her waking up and—"
Shepard shook her head. "No. I need to be there for this."
The asari doctor smiled gently. "Just… be gentle. This is going to be a gigantic shock for her, and she's still very much in recovery."
Shepard walked to the exit of the room. "I know."
O-TWCD-O
The first thing Liara felt when she awoke was confusion at awakening at all. Pain was the second thing she felt. A low, pulsating throb from her back. The feeling of constriction across her torso.
Dull, heavy soreness on the left side of her face. Soreness at the shoulder and hip. A sort of tightness around the stomach she knew from experience was medi-gel bunching up around a gut shot bandage.
Pain meant she wasn't dead, so that was good in some ways. She could keep hunting the Broker.
And I will.
On the other hand, she didn't know where she was. But she remembered combat, and she hadn't been winning. Captured? She kept her eyes closed, her breathing even, and ordered her thoughts through the pain.
Several hours had passed. This, she knew by the tiny oscillations that her aithntar had taught her to measure in her eezo nodes, a trick that somehow only the hateful crones in the House of Storm seemed able to master. It had served her well in the past year.
The cyberlink to her left eye was unresponsive, so it had either been damaged or removed.
She was lying down, in a comfortable hospital bed. Not bound. She smelt fresh linen, and medi-gel, and metal very reminiscent of the sickbay of the Normandy, of Doctor Chakwas' comforting authority, and the slowly learned expectation that Sara would be there to—
She stopped herself. Forced her face to stillness, then, realizing the giveaway of her set jaw, made herself relax.
Then she could hear someone moving next to her, on the left, leaning close.
Who are you?
She had to find out, and so – gathering in readiness whatever strength was left to her limbs – she decided to open her eyes and look.
Her Sara was sitting by her side.
The blue eyes that she knew were gone forever stared down at her with affection and longing. Black hair, long and silky, framed an expression she knew better than any other. The lips she knew so well and had forgotten so much about twisted into a soft smile.
"Hey, marazul." The voice was the same that had gently urged her never to quit fighting, but there was a note in it that was strained. Worried, perhaps. Almost fearful.
Her Sara never felt fear, except at the thought of losing something.
Liara stared at the woman she knew was long-dead for some time before tilting her head. "I've seen you before. You are not real. This is the second time I have seen you and wondered if I was imagining things or had gone mad. The last time, I suppose, I could blame it on dehydration and fatigue. This time, I know I am hallucinating."
The woman who looked like Shepard gave a rueful smile. "I thought the same when I saw you. But Tetrimus was there to hate and to kill, so I did that instead. Here, there's just me, marazul. Just us. Are you okay?"
Liara shoved down a rush of emotions that nearly shattered her, and instead took in details.
The eyes were right, that same shade of storm-blue that fascinated her for so long. The voice was… perfect. The expression – the little line between her eyebrows, the slight worrying at her lower lip – spot-on. The skin was the right color, the hair – for a split-second her brain wanted to believe in the impossible.
But things weren't exactly right. Shepard's hair had a different sheen to it. There was a scar missing from her neck. Small things. Little things no one could have even known about had they not once been one with the person.
Above all else, though, Shepard would never have worn a gaudy white and gold uniform with a Cerberus insignia on it.
Liara said nothing else, continuing to observe. The expression on the person's face shifted ever so slightly, from concern to a touch of hurt and worry. Liara couldn't trust, didn't know how to trust anymore. But she also couldn't bear to pain Sara, even one who was a dream.
"If this is not a hallucination, then how are you here, then?"
The voice was tired sounding. "You saved me, you and the others. Then the Illusive Man and Vigil went to work on… my body." She tilted her head. "I need to know if you're okay."
Liara sighed, and spoke quietly. "I don't know if I am 'okay' or not, given my situation. The last thing I remember was losing consciousness from, I suppose, shock and blood loss on Ilium, fighting Tetrimus. But I maintain this is still a hallucination, or some kind of mind-immerse simulation, or my insanity has reached new levels."
The person sat down on a chair next to her medical bed. "This must be a really detailed hallucination, don't you think?"
Liara took a deep breath, then glanced up as the door opened, and a woman from her past entered. "Shepard, is she… ah, good. The bio-monitors triggered—"
Liara's eye narrowed, her memories identifying her almost immediately. "Perhaps this is not a hallucination, as I doubt I would imagine you here, Lawson. Your master lied to me and got a very good friend of mine killed."
Miranda Lawson came to a stop, folding her arms before self-consciously letting them hang at her sides. "…I'm guessing she's confused?"
The arch sarcasm in Shepard's tone sent shivers down Liara's spine. "You think? She just now woke up. I've already covered stuff with Sedanya, so could you please go? This is going to be upsetting enough for us both without you standing around."
Miranda gave an irritated huff. "She's still very wounded and there are issues—"
Liara didn't bother listening to them, and instead found herself looking at her cybernetic hand, seeing a great number of dents and scratches. She felt bandages around her waist, her shoulder.
She felt nothing at all below her knees.
If this was not some drug-induced fantasy, then the possibilities were much uglier. She was either in some sort of immersive sim with neural input probes or a full simulation tank. Either way, that probably meant she was in the custody of the Broker, who was seeking ways to figure out her secrets.
The voices rose as she considered another option – that Cerberus may have captured her. Either way, her options weren't very good.
For a bare moment, despair washed over her. If she'd been captured, all was lost. She almost mouthed a prayer to Athame, before she caught herself.
Athame hadn't listened, or hadn't cared to answer when she had pleaded. The merciful goddess had permitted suffering and cruelty. Had permitted her Sara to die in agony, and for nothing. Had suffered that joyous brute of a salarian to intervene just as she had been about to deliver true, infinitely earned justice to Tetrimus.
She wouldn't listen now, either. And even if She did, Liara was done with prayers.
The sound of the door closing brought her out of her fugue. The voice spoke again. "It is me, Liara."
Liara met the eyes of the woman squarely with her one working one. "My Sara was dead. I saw the readouts on the telemetry, saw the broken body in the stasis tube. I saw all the impostors over the years. I've done the research. There isn't any way to revive the dead."
Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose, and Liara flinched. The eyebrow came up in just the right way. The hand made the same throwing away motion. The smell of gun oil and something else tickled her nose.
Someone had gone to a lot of trouble to get the little details right. Maybe the Broker had mind-ripped her? No, she was too mentally coherent for that. A mind-rip wouldn't have left her coherent enough to function, and a mind-rip wouldn't have had minor inconsistencies either.
The person claiming to be Shepard spoke in a tired, soft voice. "I know this is hard to accept. Trust me, I didn't believe this… bullshit when they woke me up. Harper and his mad fucking scientists, along with a lot of help from Vigil, brought me back from the dead. I'm… well, there's a lot of cyberware. But I'm still me. The Butcher was just a way for me not to have to explain all the ugly details about how I came back to life."
Liara sighed. "If you are going to lie, whatever you are, be reasonable with it. Cyberware of the power to match the Butcher would be visible. You're wearing a thin uniform and no armor, no cyborg—"
She cut off as Shepard idly punched the wall next to her, the steel indenting heavily with the groan of stressed metal, without shifting her weight. "You were saying?"
Liara frowned, examining the wall. She cursed the fact that her cybernetic eye with its scan features wasn't working, but there were other ways to test her hypothesis.
She lifted her cybernetic hand to touch the bed railing of the medical bed. She tested it with a few twists, and then she bent it very slightly, wincing at the pain. "The wall could be a fabrication, after all. I have had to do full-sim immersion interrogations of my targets, where I controlled everything they thought they experienced. I'm familiar with how convincing they can be."
The figure shrugged and twisted the rail off like a piece of bread, then tied it into a knot and handed it back. "I'm willing to indulge you in any way you like to prove I'm me. I don't blame you in wondering, marazul. Jesus, I wondered myself. I must have spent two hours rattling off facts before Pressly believed me."
Liara found herself trembling. "Proves nothing. How do I know that this isn't some… Broker fantasy? That I'm not in some full-sim immersion tank, having my every input controlled? Not only is what you say impossible, but Shepard would never work with Cerberus."
The face she loved so much arched an eyebrow. "You'd think so. Yeah, once upon a time, you were right. I did walk away when Harper came at us at the wedding, threw away that TTL card. If things had been the same, I'd have done so again. Except, by the time I was in that position, of having to work with piles of shit I'd much rather kill, I thought you and everyone else I cared about was dead. Just like I guess you did when you, Garrus, Telanya, and your dad went off with Miranda and tried to get my body."
The woman gave a tired shrug, a note of weariness entering her voice. "I'm not real proud of it, and like I told Pressly, I need people to make sure I don't go… bad. Didn't lose myself in the hate. I'm not proud of it, and I don't have to like it, but I do have to face reality. Reality is the goddamned Citadel isn't doing shit to stop the Reapers. And Harper made some good points and so far, hasn't lied to me or fucking set me up to die, which is more than I can say for the fucking Alliance."
Shepard shrugged and held out her hand. "As for this being a simulation or some kind of trick… I can't blame you for being paranoid. I wasn't even smart enough to think of that – the sim thing – when I woke up. But I'm pretty sure no sim or even full-sense would mimic what asari can do with a simple link, can it?"
Liara eyed the slender hand held out in front of her, and her eyes traveled up, to the battered and worn but recognizable bonding bracelet still on Shepard's forearm. There were simply too many things for this to be a simulation, much less things the Broker would know.
If it wasn't… she broke that thought off, but her heart was racing, her stomach was cramped, and she found herself shaking like morning wind-tides.
She swallowed and shook her head slowly. "I do not believe it could mimic it in any way."
She took it, and focused. She suddenly felt immeasurably weary, and cold, as she reached. It wasn't flesh and blood she felt, it was… colder. Cybernetics. She struggled and stretched her power, and suddenly, the shallow link snapped into place.
A sense of heavy exhaustion and almost painful self-loathing enveloped her, mixed with hope and fear and worry, enough to make her stomach contract. She pushed past surface emotions.
Everything was so distant, drowned in icy metal and—
And then, a stream of memories – jumbled and irregular – tumbled over her.
"N7 Special Operations. Draw! Swords!"
Flashes of emotions, snatches of conversation. Things she had every reason to remember, and no one else to have known.
The darkness of a lavish hotel room, the feel of silk sheets and runnels of hot pain and slowly fading ecstasy, the friction of skin on skin as Shepard held her tighter and licked her nose. "Ready for round two?"
Bits of unforgotten pain, things she'd never seen and places she knew all too well.
"Harder!"
"Forty-four… forty-five…"
"Dammit, girl, push yourself. You will not wimp out on me! Look at me!" A flash of Rachel Florez's features, twisted in determination. "Five more."
Pain and longing and self-hate and so much hot, red anger.
"Sara, I'm not leaving you."
Garbled, tortured images she had no context for.
A gentle voice, green eyes staring. "Liara and the rest of your friends returned to Alliance Space… but the Alliance did not recover your body from the wreckage."
A feeling of dizzy disconnection. Agony. Pain. Tears.
"My… body?" She paused. "Wait. I'm… dead? Am I me? What… am I, some kind of clone?"
A figure of haughty ice, framed in sharp black tattoos, with eyes of purple madness. "No. You died. Your Alliance did not want to risk combat with Aria to recover your body. The Shadow Broker schemed with certain parties to recover your body and sell it to the Collectors."
She pushed deeper, the icy metal sinking into her soul, until there was a spark of shattered, purest agony.
"I learned there that sometimes what we hold most valuable to us is not what others expect of us, or even what we think we want. It is those things that cry out to our souls when we are still and quiet. A reminder that we are but sparks from the fire, flickering for a few moments of brightness before the dark. That we cannot hold onto everything we cherish unless we take time to actually cherish it."
She grit her teeth and pushed harder, and then, suddenly, she felt something push back.
A swirling mass of horrific images, circuits drilling into contorted flesh, the howls of Prothean horror and sorrow, a thousand black leaves falling from a sky full of fire and death, and the outline of a single figure with four glowing eyes…
The fragile connection shattered, and Liara fell backwards, panting, eye wide and strained, her face twisted with emotions fighting within her.
There was no way for anything to replicate or mimic the Beacon's broken message and warning.
Just as there was no way to come back from the dead.
She couldn't find her voice, or figure out what to think. Fragments of possible explanations flitted across her mind, and were discarded just as rapidly. Emotions ricocheted through her in unfathomable surges, as she just looked at the woman opposite her.
She exhaled shakily. If this really was Shepard, then why couldn't she feel anything through the bond at all? She pushed herself towards it, and once again received only an ugly, dull red pain and emptiness.
Her voice was unsteady. "…This… how?"
Sara's voice was even, but not calm, some emotion straining through it. "I don't claim I understand much of how they did it. Doc Sedanya did a lot of research on it. Miranda and a doctor named Wilson can give you more details. I know the last thing I remember was… dying. A memory of you, in my arms, on the Normandy that first night."
Liara flinched, emotions she'd locked away for her own sanity burning through her body. She couldn't seem to speak, to say anything, to do anything but sit helplessly.
The asari looked up as Shepard took her cybernetic hand in hers. "I don't even know how much of me is still me. I look normal. I'm not. There's so much tech in me I sometimes imagine I can hear gears grinding. Part of my brain is gone. My arms and legs are gone. Most of me is buried under layers of armor skin and even my fucking blood isn't… blood anymore. They got rid of most of my scars and I don't even have anything to remind me of me except our bonding bracelet and my notebook, and, of all the fucking mementos, Saren's pistol."
She finally found her voice again, even if it came out sounding weak. "But you died. This is… impossible…"
Shepard said nothing, and Liara examined her face again. The longing in the eyes, mixed with fear and worry. The every-so-slight tremor in the hands. Liara tried to gather her shattered thoughts and emotions into something coherent. "I can't feel our bond…"
Sara gave a grimace, her own voice laced with pain. "I… know. From what I've been told, Sedanya did something to you so you wouldn't… die with me, when the Collectors shot me down. And when they did their resurrection bullshit on me, Matriarch Trellani had to do something with… what she called the 'fragments of the bond.' To keep me from losing my mind from the Beacon."
Shepard shrugged. "I don't know how much of me is me, like I said. More than once I've wondered if Trellani did something to me, or Cerberus did, to make me go along with this." She gave a weary smile, and her voice softened. "But nothing is going to make me give up on us, Liara. I'm alive."
Liara was silent for long seconds, staring into that face. The logical part of her mind, the ruthless and paranoid impulses that had kept her and Telanya alive for the past two years, screamed it couldn't be real. The burned and shattered core of who she was, the person who had lost everything and only wanted the pain to stop, shrieked for her to accept it.
She'd never felt so many conflicting, tearing emotions in her life. Breathing was hard. Thinking was hard. She spoke, slowly and carefully. "I don't know what to do or say."
Shepard tilted her head. "Say 'I love you'?"
Liara shook her head, and then gave a bitter sigh. "Do you not understand? I am ruined. Everything I've done… and suffered… could have been avoided if I had known you were alive—"
Sara shook her head. "I only 'woke up' about a week before the first Butcher video, Liara. Before that, I was a goddamned science fair project and they didn't know if I would wake up me or batshit insane or stay catatonic. And no one in Cerberus knew about you and Telanya. They didn't even know if waking me up with a broken bond was going to work."
Liara watched Sara's face twist into sorrow. "As for what you went through… that's my fault. I'm sorry, Liara. I made a lot of… stupid choices, and everything you've gone through is because I couldn't stop and think about what I was dragging us both into."
Liara exhaled, the pain in those words evident enough to echo within her. "You regret going after Joker… and Pressly?"
Sara shook her head, black hair falling over her features. "No. I regret putting us in that position in the first place. I should have listened to Harper at our wedding. I should have kept that fucking TTL card and contacted him, used him. I should have paid attention to the hints de la Muerte gave us, or the realization that even Kyle's hero-status and nobility didn't stop the AIS from investigating him."
The human woman looked up, meeting Liara's gaze. "Most of all, I should have placed your safety above anything else. Instead—"
Liara held up a hand. "…I do not blame you, for what you did." She paused, gathering her thoughts as best she could, and was amazed she'd not broken down into insane laughter or tears.
The sheer absurd irony of the situation was only made worse by the lack of connection, but the emotions were real enough.
She met the other woman's gaze. "You would not be you if you had run from your problems. I have been forced down many dark and ugly paths since you left me, and I understand much better now why you did. The anger that once frightened and baffled me, that left me frightened and unsure, is all that kept me sane these past few years."
With a gentle tug, she pulled her hand free of Shepard's. "But now, all I have done is… meaningless. And in a way, this is so much worse."
Shepard looked confused. "I don't understand."
Liara felt anger pulse through her, a pale memory of the past. "Do you not? I thought you were dead, and by your own words, you were. I had nothing to hold me to decency, to the person I was, only pain and loss and tears."
She gestured angrily at her bandaged face with her cybernetic hand. "I was used as a tool and sent off to die, and I committed atrocities beyond count. Everything I did was in memory of you, to obtain revenge, to make the Broker pay."
Her voice grew cold. "To make him suffer the way Tel and I suffered. I lost whatever and whoever I was, chasing that. I murdered people. Guilty, innocent. Civilians. I poisoned people and ruined lives just to get to the next target. I twisted who I was until I actually began to admire the vile creature I wanted to kill, to see elegance in his sick pursuits."
The asari looked up, at the cool white ceiling done in hexagonal tiles. "I think I lost my mind, in the dark. No… I am sure I did. At some point, whatever Sedanya tried to do to keep me from feeling the backlash of the soulforge failed, and I began to give in to despair. Waking nightmares, hallucinations, panic attacks. I saw myself as a corpse, and I had dreams that ruined my sleep."
She smiled bitterly. "I tried to cope with alcohol, drugs, and meditation. When that failed, I cut myself and worse. Hope, trust, time, love. All drowned in the sleepless chemical miasma of treachery and murder my life degenerated into. Sleep was eventually only possible with enough tranquilizer to render me unconscious."
She looked up, at the stricken, pained face of Sara, and her voice took on spite and vitriol. "I was weak because I wanted to be decent. And then, I discovered decency itself was weakness. I wanted to not let down the memory of you, only to find I was losing even that last piece of what kept me sane. I didn't want to let your memory down, but as my mind and soul warped and darkened, so did it. When I realized it made me vulnerable, do you know what I did? I burned it out with hate, until all I could think of was that you left me. My father, crippled and powerless. My friends, dead. My wife, gone. My future, destroyed. Disowned, dishonored. Alone!"
She shouted the last, and Shepard's expression crumbled. With a mad kind of hurt glee, she continued. "When I prayed, Athame was silent, and the only reason I survived at all was with the aid of a monster. My aithntar was a cripple and a prisoner. My own race rejected me and my family was barred to me. Telanya, the only one I could trust, was just as broken, and we had nothing. Nothing but hate and a fever dream we knew would end us." She stated softly, her voice holding nothing but pain and loss.
Her eye closed against the memories of the things she'd done. A slow, defeated breath later, she muttered, "Only to discover now that everything we went through… the loss, the pain, the breaking, was pointless. The thousands I've murdered mean nothing!"
Her hands clenched and hate burned through her as she spat, "And while I lied and stole and committed mass murder, Cerberus did what I never had the power to do. All of my life is ruined, and yet, here I am – stained in the same ways that I know you must hate – and you expect things to just fix themselves?!"
She opened her eye and stared at the woman across from her. "Why did you even bother having them save me?"
Sara stared at her, her lips pressed into a thin line. When she spoke, her voice was low and unsteady. "Because I love you. I always will."
Liara stiffened, a part of her screaming out for her to stop and listen and just surrender, but she shook her head. "Then you cannot be my Sara. She would never love a criminal, a murderer, a terrorist who killed thousands in the name of vengeance. She would never give up on doing things the right way simply to get a task done. Most of all… she would never love someone who hurt the weak and innocent just because they were in the way."
Shepard looked away for a long moment, hair obscuring her features. When she finally spoke, her voice was filled with pain, in a way that made Liara hate herself all the more.
Why I am doing this to her? Why are you doing this to yourself?
"Maybe you're right, in a way, Li. The person I was before I died is probably long gone, just like with you. I woke up alone, not grasping what the fuck had happened, and I got to watch you smiling as you died on Omega. I got to see every single person I cared about either die… or think I was dead. I watched my own funeral. I watched the entire fucking point of my life stop, and the only thing that kept me going was revenge too."
Her hand still lay open on the twisted railing of the bed, as her voice wavered. "I had so much hate and pain when I thought you were gone that I wanted to die. I sat in a room and punched at a wall and screamed my hate for the universe. And then… I had to keep moving, because there was more to life than my suffering and loss."
Liara winced as Shepard continued. "I did not want to live. Especially like this. For all the care they took to make me feel normal, for all the ways they made it where I can't even tell I'm a cybernetic monster, I still know the truth. God only knows what kind of sick bullshit gave them the ability to raise the dead. I had to work with Harper, and fucking Trellani. I had to turn my back on everything I was and… not know if it even mattered. I had to realize that my own government – the one I gave everything to – probably set me up to die, and would have killed you if you hadn't gone after my body."
Shepard's open hand closed into a fist. "Maybe I'm not the same person. The old Sara, I guess, refused to compromise. She wanted things in black and white, in good and evil, in Us and Them. Order and disorder. That Sara, in her stupid intolerance and thinking shit like evil was measured by killing, would have not loved you, because she was a goddamned blind moron who didn't realize how life worked."
Shepard stood up. "But she's gone. I've been briefed on what you and Telanya ended up doing. I've also been told you two were a few weeks away from complete mental collapse. That most of the 'innocents' who got killed were probably piles of shit, not innocents. That for almost a year and a half you were scrupulous not to harm a single bystander. That you gave away a lot of your money for the poor on Ilium, that you ended up buying out over a hundred quarians trapped there on Pilgrimage and sent then home. I've seen how monsters act, marazul. I've been a monster. Those aren't things a monster does."
She folded her arms. "But most of all, I've been in your shoes myself. I'm sure some of the people on the pirate stations and bases we wiped out weren't directly into piracy. I'm sure a lot of the people on Chresi were, by the legal definition, 'innocent.' I didn't give a fuck about that then or now, because people chose to get involved. They chose to get involved with slavers, and people who profit from suffering, and they fucking died because of that."
She stared down at Liara. "You wanna beat yourself up over doing bad things? Join the fucking club, Liara! Jesus Christ, I'm wearing a goddamned Cerberus uniform. I'm having to work with the fucking Illusive Man. I'm gonna have to make deals with pieces of living shit like Aria and those ever-fucking murdering bastards of the High Lords who probably set us up to get us both killed!"
Shepard exhaled, clenching her fists and trying to calm down, and Liara swallowed at the pain in that voice. After a moment, Shepard extended her hand again, and almost against her will Liara took it.
There was the faintest flicker of something, then just more cool metal. Shepard's voice was strained as she spoke again, her eyes troubled. "I can't absolve you of guilt. That's not what we are. I can't do it for myself, either, and that's just the way it is. I don't have any sappy, romantic lines to make all this better again. We were broken and fucked up when we came together and we're broken and fucked up now. That didn't stop me before. It sure as fuck won't stop me now. I don't have any answers. Just love."
Her voice gentled. "You're the only good thing I ever had in my life, marazul."
Liara didn't look up. "I was a stupid, shallow fool with a child's understanding before, but I was also innocent. I just wanted to heal you."
Shepard smiled softly. "You did. You saved me from myself, back when I was nothing more than an angry, stupid fool. You changed me into what I always wanted to be, gave me life, gave me love and a reason to… fight. And you never gave up on me. Maybe that's my job now, Liara. I love you. Even if you don't think you are the person I loved, I will always love you. All I am asking for is for you to let me in."
Liara turned to face her incredulously. "…You're asking to fuck?"
Shepard's expression twisted into something akin to embarrassment, and Liara was fascinated in a distant way by the fact she could blush. A moment later, Shepard let her hand go, and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Why do you always take shit to weird places?"
Liara felt an almost unreal surge of nostalgia and amusement, then grimaced. Everything was too much to handle. She was here. Shepard was alive. There wasn't any way this was fake. There couldn't be.
The long nightmare was over… and she didn't know what to do. She'd lost everything, yet somehow won. It was an impossible thing… and her heart felt like it was going to tear itself out of her chest. How was she supposed to live, when all she'd wanted to do was die? How was she supposed to be whole, when she was nothing but the shattered, broken pieces of a person?
She didn't even know how to handle the words 'I love you,' how could she bring herself to make anything work?
Too much. She had to move, or she'd break down crying, and she wasn't going to be weak again. She forced back the pain and started pushing the railing on the far side of the bed down and trying to swing herself around to get up.
Shepard hurried around to the other side, expression tense. "You should stay pu—"
"I'm not going to lay here and…" she trailed off as she threw the thin covers and gray blanket back, staring at her legs, both of which were amputated at the knee.
Shepard's expression was grim. "…Tetrimus tossed a tech-mine at you once he put you down. When it blew, it hit Tel with some shrapnel, but you took the brunt of it. The docs here are… working on replacement cyber and surgery to implant cybernetic legs while they do full-clone replacements, which take a while for asari."
Shepard stepped closer. "…It will be okay. We'll get you fixed up and things will be fine."
Liara tried and failed to regulate her breathing. Nothing made sense. Flashbacks of times on Ilium where she and Telanya had nearly died erupted in her mind. Memories of long days recovering from gruesome wounds, with no one to hold her and say it was okay.
Suddenly, everything seemed to simply be too much, and she found herself weeping, curling in on herself. She hated that she was weak. She hated she didn't remember HOW to reach out. She'd forgotten how to let the pain go.
Shepard knelt beside the bed, expression twisted in anguish, and gently touched Liara's shoulder. "…I… all I wanted, to be… to know you're okay. I can't make anything right again, I'm sorry."
"…Shut up." She felt something inside her break, and with a desperate lunge wrapped her arms around the figure. She didn't feel hard metal, but warmth. She let Sara's arms go around her as she let herself come apart, as she vomited up broken sentences that tore free from whatever was left of her soul.
She felt her arm shifted, and slim brown fingers interlaced with her own. She cried harder and she felt a soothing, calming sensation of acceptance. "It's okay, baby. I'm here. Like you always said… I am always with you."
O-TWCD-O
Miranda Lawson watched the monitor on the wall with a gentle smile on her face and then wiped her eyes. She let out a long exhalation and then turned as Kelly Chambers entered the room.
"Never figured you for a voyeur, you know."
Miranda shoved her irritation down. "I'm just making sure things are stable. T'Soni was in poor mental shape and has gone through a harrowing ordeal. Dealing with someone you thought was dead—"
Kelly rolled her eyes. "I get it, I get it. Must you be so literal, Miranda? It's not one of your more attractive features."
Miranda turned back to watch the screen. "…I suppose I am happy to finally see something we have accomplished have a happy ending for once. There's a great deal of personal satisfaction in knowing that despite everything that has gone wrong, things can still turn out for the better."
Kelly folded her arms. "That's great, but please don't forget we actually have objectives to accomplish. I'm happy Shep and Liara are back together, but there's ramifications we have to be ready for. We need to start looking at how to make sure Liara decides we're the winning team, not drive Shepard away."
Miranda gave a shrug. "We just reunited Shepard with her wife. Why would she be driven away?"
Kelly sighed. "Look, I'm probably not in the best of moods now. I'm… pretty unhappy about what happened to Jace, and the fuck-all casual way in which the boss just tossed that off. But I have to keep focused on the task at hand. Our job isn't to make Shepard happy, it's to keep her functional so we can take down the Collectors."
Miranda arched an eyebrow. "I'm fully aware of that. It seems to me, her wife would make her more functional. Your point?"
Kelly's voice grew sharper. "My point, Lawson, is that, sure, we reunited her with Liara. But the person we recovered is a Pandora's Box that might bring a lot of grief into Shepard's life if we aren't careful. The very last thing we need is an unstable Shepard. And a broken Liara is gonna lead straight to a broken Shepard." She sighed. "You're too caught up in seeing something work out to see how much of a disaster this could be."
Miranda sighed. A part of her grasped what Kelly was saying. The Illusive Man had said several times she was too emotionally involved in this. Keeping Shepard 'happy' wasn't really the goal, but she had argued that it didn't hurt – a Shepard who was happy, and identified that with Cerberus, made loyalty much easier to inspire.
She set that aside, for the moment. "I'll keep that in mind. Did you have any specific ideas on how to go about this?"
Kelly nodded. "A few." She paused. "Look, I'm happy for them too, okay? I'm not saying we need to get rid of Liara, but we can't just let them do whatever. For one, we need to make a real effort to validate and justify the bullshit Shepard just spouted. Have Trudy make up a lot of things to imply Liara didn't kill innocent people, whatever."
Miranda arched an eyebrow, then nodded. "That's a good idea."
Chambers then set her jaw. "Also, they probably shouldn't bond until we can talk to Trellani. Whatever shit she did to stabilize Shepard's mind and keep her from going loopy will interfere with that."
Miranda vaguely remembered Trellani's warnings of such, but that was in the context of Shepard bonding with another asari. Of course, they'd never expected to find Liara alive, so Trellani would hardly have come up with preparations for that. But a thought struck her. "If so, isn't that something Shepard should have been told about? Preferably before she was told it was okay to be with her when she woke up?"
Kelly's expression shifted to near blankness, and Miranda was immediately on edge. The psychologist's voice was almost too reasonable as she spoke. "We don't know enough about bonding and what it would do to Shepard to risk it. Liara's probably not mentally stable and it could end poorly."
Something about that felt off, and it had dodged the question. She felt her lip curl. "You didn't answer as to why Shepard wasn't informed of this already. But it's a moot point, as far as I'm concerned. Bonding is not melding or linking. It requires… well, asari bonding usually only occurs during sexual encounters, and that's unlikely to happen, given that Liara still requires multiple surgeries."
Kelly threw her arms in the air. "Listen. I'm not trying to be argumentative. I'm not saying they're gonna start fucking in the damned hospital room. But can we dispense with the romantic bullshit? Those are two very fucked-up broken people and Liara has a lot more trauma than I'm comfy with, okay? Bonding is delicate and has messy effects when done right and we know full well these two didn't do it right the first time."
The psychologist shook her head. "I'm not saying I expect Shepard to shag her in the next ten minutes. I'm saying we need to get in front of that, without pissing them off."
Miranda shrugged. "Given we don't know the details – or if it can be fixed – the proper person to discuss this would be Trellani."
Kelly shook her head. "There's no need to do that. How hard is it to say 'don't bond'?"
Miranda's eyes narrowed further. "Very hard, given Shepard is going to want to know why, and saying 'your wife is a nut' is not going to help matters. After all, we don't have anything specific to tell Shepard except vague warnings about possible bond issues, and she's not likely to react to that very well. Perhaps we should defer any action until the Matriarch is more recovered from her ordeal."
Kelly rolled her eyes again. "The only 'recovery' she needs is from banging the boss man." The redhead suppressed a vicious smile at the flinch Miranda gave and softened her tone. "Look… I'm not trying to be a bitch just to… be that way. We all have our baggage and I'm not the best fit for this op in a lot of ways. But I know what those two are going through isn't going to all be roses."
Miranda firmed her jaw. "And why is that?"
Kelly sighed. "Because Liara has done some really bad things. Sure, she doesn't hold a candle to what asshats like the Broker – or Cerberus – has done in the past, but it is one thing for Shepard to say it's okay with words and another to deal with it in a bond. That's on top of the fact their bond was shattered, neither of them is really 'dealing' with the fact they're alive, and—"
Miranda only smiled at the monitor, as Shepard kissed Liara. "You may be right, Chambers. But I think I'll approach things from a more positive view. Is there anything else?"
Kelly stared at her before quirking her lips. "Not really. Once things got less emotional, I was gonna offer to help Shepard out with any counseling she might need, or Liara."
Miranda managed not to burst out laughing, forcing her voice to level out. "…Well, I think if you word it carefully that may be possible. But I would definitely hold off awhile. And despite that and Shepard's earlier statements, I think you may have a point about bonding before things are ready, and I need to interrupt."
Miranda re-steadied herself after she left the monitor room, carefully closing the hidden door and walking around the short corridor to Med-Private One. Something about that entire conversation bothered her. Kelly was indeed a bitch, but she usually didn't throw jabs about Trellani and Harper at her in the middle of a discussion…
She paused in front of the door, thinking. Her anger had derailed her entire line of thinking, and she decided to be cautious but direct. Taking a deep breath, she tapped the call panel this time, generating a chime.
Shepard's voice had an irritated edge to it. "Yes?"
Miranda tried to sound gentle and apologetic. "I know this is an emotional moment, but I really do need to speak with you both, about medical issues and events outside of the base. At least one piece of information is very urgent."
She smiled as the door hissed open, and walked in carefully. Shepard had at least gotten Liara back onto the bed fully, and the asari looked shaky and strained, but also… almost worried.
Miranda noticed how tightly she clung with her good hand onto Shepard's arm, but only nodded.
"I know you two have a lot of catch up on, so I will be brief. First, Shepard… and I know this is a touchy subject… but I would ask that you not attempt to remake or… engage in bonding just yet."
Shepard gave her a flat look. "You aren't usually one to be insensitive, Miranda, unlike the rest of the Hack Squad. So why is it I shouldn't bond with my wife? Not that we were planning to do it right now, but we're supposed to be one person, and right now we're not. Do you know how fucked up we both are?"
Miranda gave a wan smile. "Yes, I know, Sara. And I know it is both insensitive and rather personal. But there are likely to be… complications. Your bond was broken by death, and it was, as Trellani called it, a Soulforge. This is a—"
Liara interrupted. "We're well aware of the Soulforge and the dangers. I've been… suffering from the effects for months, as your medical scans and exams have no doubt detected. What exactly is the problem?"
Miranda noted she sounded rather annoyed and worded her sentence carefully. "There's some concern from the medical and psychological staff that your initial re-bonding would be… difficult. Both emotionally and possibly medically. No one has ever tried to fix a broken Soulforge because it only broke on death and left the other person insane or dead. We simply feel that waiting until you are both back at full health and have calmed some is prudent."
Shepard fixed her with a look. "Gee, would have been nice if someone told me that before now."
Miranda spread her hands. "Doctor Chambers… said it slipped her mind." She bit her lip. "I don't think you knew, but she was involved with Mr. Dunn, and the Illusive Man was… less than sympathetic in relaying the fact of his death."
Shepard winced and closed her eyes. "Fuck. No. I didn't know that." She gave a little sigh. "Goddamn Jace, even in death you fuck shit up." She shook her head and fixed Miranda with a look. "I'll apologize for telling her off earlier, I was in a bad mood."
Miranda smiled. "I understand entirely. This entire past few days must be quite the emotional roller coaster."
After she gave a long exhalation of breath, Shepard spoke in a stronger voice. "Miranda, setting all the medical and psych stuff aside – Liara said she's having hallucinations and feels like she is going insane. Wouldn't remaking our bond fix that?"
Lawson shook her head. "I don't know, Shepard – that's just it. No one has ever had a chance to even try this. We did as much research on bonds as we could when we were working on you. Broken bonds, in general, typically result in major emotional… shifts, and, in some cases, depression. Some bond-mates shift so much they can't connect. I only want you both to be ready for it, and not rush things and damage yourselves further."
Liara gave a sigh. "That is distressingly logical and plausible." She set her jaw, the drawn planes of her face looking even more exhausted. "I will endure. I can endure. I am… not alone." She squeezed Shepard's hand tightly and squared her shoulders. "And to be honest, probably not in shape for anything like that at the moment, given our proclivities."
Shepard actually blushed, and Miranda merely shook her head.
The asari looked up at Miranda. "What else? I presume I have some more surgery to do given…" She trailed off, gesturing to her legs.
Miranda nodded. "Yes. We have you scheduled for initial surgical prep in an hour. We need to debride some additional portions of the right leg, then finish extraction and replacement of your cybernetic eye. The housing itself was not damaged, but the eye itself was shattered and portions of it almost breached your skull, so we had to be very careful working around that. We'll replace it soon, once we're sure the nerves are working correctly."
Liara nodded. "I see. My legs, I understand, would be replaced with cybernetics?"
Miranda spread her hands. "In the short-term, yes. Those implants are ready to go. We have a set of clonal batches for full regrowth being worked on now, in the FTL-accelerator tunnel. Even so, it's going to be two months before those are ready for nerve acculturation and grafting, while we can have you on slim-line combat ready models and walking around by the end of the day."
Miranda's gaze shifted to Shepard. "You also need to go back under, we are going to have to pull two of the liver trays that are malfunctioning, and adjust all the connections to your left leg again since I can see it is still pulling short. Additionally, the Illusive Man has indicated he's gotten multiple comms requests from various parties and would like you to meet with him before responding – today, after surgery."
Shepard nodded sourly. "How is Garrus doing?" Liara gasped, and Shepard turned slightly. "Oh, shit. I forgot. Garrus is alive too – when he went down on Omega, some people saved his life and—"
Liara gave a small, almost disbelieving laugh. "Archangel, of course. Telanya… will be overjoyed, then. I hope." She glanced down, and her features took on a tense look. "Although, the issue with the things we have done—"
Miranda cleared her throat. "Not to put too fine a point on it, but none of us have clean hands – including his group. Just one of his operations killed several children, and many bystanders were killed or injured in the escape from Omega. Part of what we want Cerberus to reflect is that we are all going to change. I doubt Garrus will push her away any more than Shepard would do that to you… and going forward, we'll all strive to make sure there are no further mistakes."
Liara stared at her solemnly for some time, then made a siari gesture of negation. "Perhaps. Is there anything else?"
Miranda ignored the slightly waspish tone and glanced at Shepard. "Grunt has also been asking about you. He seems… calmer. I know we just got you up a few hours ago, but—"
Shepard nodded. "I'll talk to him in a while. Tell TIM once you guys finish your tune-up and if Liara is capable of moving around, we'll meet him to talk. Let Garrus and Pressly know as well. What is the status on Tali?"
Miranda forced a thin smile. "Still in surgery, initial prognosis is – well, they're alive, but lingering damage. Kiala has more severe injuries. Dost and Joker are with them now, in the clean recovery rooms, if you wanted to swing by – you can talk to them on your way to prep. I'll leave you two for now, but I'll be back at one fifty to move you both to surgery."
She turned to leave and Liara spoke softly. "I am sorry I lashed out at you earlier. You have given back my life to me, and to Sara."
Miranda smiled more warmly. "I understand entirely. I'm sure if I was in your situation I would be a screaming wreck – there is nothing to apologize for." She fixed a glance at Shepard. "Forty minutes Shepard, so nothing naughty."
She walked out with a giggle and could almost hear Shepard's scowling expression.
O-TWCD-O
Some five hours later, Shepard sat at the head of the glossy teak-wood conference table on the Operations Deck, frowning at the tightness in her left leg from the post-surgery binding process. Next to her in a lift chair, Liara was flicking rapidly through a datapad on the overview and intricacies of Project Revenant.
Liara wore plain black Cerberus BDUs with no insignia, and a thin black robe over those. A medical package was clipped securely around her left arm, and her left eye was covered in bandages.
Pressly walked through the double doors and came to a stop, his hard features immediately breaking into a happy grin. "It's good to see you up and around, Doctor T'Soni. Things have been hard without you."
She put the padd down and smiled back, swallowing and taking a deep breath a second later. "It is good to see you as well. I have to admit I didn't expect to see you wearing such a uniform."
Pressly fingered the collar of his tunic, the Cerberus insignia on the left collar matched by the rank triangles on the right. "…I didn't expect it either. When this started, all the clothes they gave us had the hexagon on it, and Shepard warp-burned them off for us. After more recent events, though…"
He shrugged. "It's a uniform, and after some of the things we've learned, I'm damn sure never wearing Alliance blues again. I'll leave it at that, and instead ask if there's anything you need."
She shook her head. "I am, for the moment… alright. The surgery took much less time than I anticipated and I am merely waiting for the nerve-inductors to finish their work. I have never even heard about a cybernetic facility this advanced."
Pressly sat down on Shepard's left, placing a padd on the table's gleaming surface. "The aftermath of the Normandy going down left me paralyzed and missing some parts. I was crippled until I joined up, and they fixed me up in literally two days, after two years of no nerve treatments or operations. I've seen how badly Ezno – one of the soldiers who was down on Ilium – got shot up, and they replaced his arm and leg in just under four hours. I am hoping Cerberus will share some of this technology."
The doors opened again, and Doctor Sedanya walked through, trailed by a distracted-looking Mordin Solus perusing a padd. Liara smiled at the doctor. "It is good to see you once more, Doctor Sedanya."
Sedanya made a siari hand sign of agreement. "I am also glad to see you alive, Lady Liara. I… often wondered, if maybe I had come along, I could have saved some of those I thought dead, only to find all of them actually alive. It is an odd feeling, but a welcome one."
The asari doctor sat down next to Mordin, who flicked his padd off. "Indeed. STG at complete loss to true identity, suspected possible plants from Asari Republic, front for Thirty. Data security very professional. Would like to discuss sometime."
Liara's voice was hesitant. "Ah… yes. I'm afraid I only know of you by reputation and I thought you were, ah, retired."
Mordin gave a small laugh. "You mean left STG and Salarian Space, took up Lythari code? Yes. Recall unexpected, permanent separation less surprising, Cerberus recruitment was quite shocking. Good facilities, excellent benefits, seemingly above-board operations. Distressing dislike of practical jokes."
Shepard sighed. "We have enough of that with Vigil, doctor." She glanced at Liara. "We're just waiting on a few more people. One of whom I think you'll be happy to see."
Liara's reply was cut off as Garrus entered, also dressed in a Cerberus uniform, followed by, of all things, a batarian in the same outfit. The turian's expression lit up, mandibles spreading and a sharp click of amusement echoing. "You're up!"
He walked the length of the table to crouch next to her lift chair, plates lifting in glee. "Still feel like this is a dream, don't you?"
She gave him a look. "Do you?"
He shrugged. "When Sheep first got to me and took off her helmet, I thought I was in the spirit realm, and she was just badass enough to be a spirit like all turians. There are days I wasn't sure I wasn't just in some fever dream, but it's real." He gently placed a hand on her arm. "We missed you, being all proper and science-y."
She gave a short laugh. "I bet you did. Is Telanya awake…?"
Garrus shook his head, standing. His joyous expression collapsed, and his voice sounded almost nervous. "No. Sedanya wants to take it slow due to the head injury. She's in a medical coma, but stable, but there's some… other stuff going on." He flicked a mandible and focused his gaze on her. "In any event, I was thinking it would be less of a vakar's ride of confusion if you were there with me when we woke her up, if that's okay with you…?"
Liara nodded, and tilted her head as the doors opened once more.
Shepard's expression went flat as the Illusive Man entered the room, trailed by Miranda, Trudy, and a young, slender asari with a smile on her face. It took her a minute to recognize Trellani without the web of sinister looking tattoos and subtle signs of aging. "Matriarch Trellani? It worked?"
Liara looked at her in confusion, but the other asari only made a sign of siari agreement, her lips lifting into a grin. "It did indeed, much better than expected. While I doubt I could even hold off a yearling priestess with my biotics, it does clear the path for me to live a little longer."
Liara stared hard at the other asari. "…Is this something related to Revenant? Can you restore anyone to life and health now?"
Trellani inclined her head. "Sadly, no. This was something of… my own doing, you might say. A way to move myself, my calasa and spirit, into a new form – a flash-clone, in this case. It is an experimental and fairly… unethical ritual from the Temple of Gahas."
Liara's eyes widened. "The Lost Temple was never found—"
Trellani shrugged, and Harper sat down at the other end of the table, immediately lighting a cigarette. "As you can see, Doctor T'Soni, that isn't the case. Are we expecting anyone else, Shepard?"
Shepard glanced at Miranda and Trudy as they sat on the far side from Trellani, then at Garrus.
"No. Most of them are still busted up and in the med-bay. The docs are all busy with Vigil on follow-up surgeries and I'm guessing Garrus isn't waiting on anyone?"
The turian shook his head. "Just me and Sensat. Everyone else on the team is too splintered to be here, or hasn't got anything to say."
Harper nodded, and squared his shoulders. "We have now reached the most optimal point to begin the next phase of the plan I laid out to you the day we awoke you, Shepard. My original offer was to obtain vengeance for what the Broker and his machinations had taken from you. I cannot express how pleased I am that, amazingly, we have managed to outperform that promise."
Garrus flicked a mandible. "I didn't come into this with high expectations, but so far, I can't argue with results. This isn't a thing I expected to ever wear," he gestured to the Cerberus uniform he had on, "but life has a funny way of changing your perspectives. You haven't lied or set us up, so my people are good."
Shepard nodded along with the turian. "Yeah, I'll give you that. You haven't lied, haven't double-crossed me, didn't pull any kind of shit and your people aren't the kind of living trash Old Cerberus seemed to be filled with. And we already had our little heart-to-heart."
Harper puffed on his cigarette, leaning back as he nodded. "So we did. With you and Mr. Vakarian reunited with your wives, with the recovery of not only Aethyta Vasir but the majority of her Black Blades, and the additional talents of the Angels and the detailed knowledge of Liara and Telanya, we are in an advantageous position. Even at full strength, the Broker could not hope to oppose such a strike force."
If there was the very slightest edge of something like resentment in Harper's voice, Shepard couldn't blame the guy.
Harper met Shepard's gaze. "Before I go ahead with what our next steps are, I'd like Doctor Sedanya to provide us a medical-status briefing. Doctor?"
Sedanya exhaled. "Yes. Right now, roughly half the team is recovering and the other half still have surgeries. Based on the damage and ramifications of such, a number of these people should not be exposed to any further combat. Despite our best efforts, Butler is still paralyzed from the waist down and will require a lift chair unless we go full-conversion, an option he has declined so far. Kiala'Dost is severely wounded and her blood filtration organ is failing. We can, and have, prepped for cybernetic replacement, but the amount of internal damage she took is more than I'm comfortable with in clearing her for combat."
She consulted the padd in front of her. "Jack, Dost, Montoya, Vega, Tali, and Zaeed will all require at least one cybernetic limb – the damage is severe enough that bio-fitting is not an option. In particular, Mr. Montoya is so injured – liver failure, one kidney destroyed, both lungs compromised, and heavy third and fourth-degree burns – that he will require and has already agreed to full-conversion. In addition, as notified, Garrus, Mierin, and Sensat will require minor cybernetic correction. Sidonis will require a cybernetic eye."
She tapped the padd. "Of our recovered allies, most of the Black Blades have denied cybernetic work. Three are so torn up Matriarch Aethyta has suggested retirement completely. Two of the Blades have agreed to and are in the process of blueware cybernetic fitting. Both Liara T'Soni and Telanya Vakarian will require additional cybernetics, although in Liara's case, we can attempt bio-fitting cloned replacements at a later date.
She set the padd down. "Matriarch Aethyta is in stable condition and requires no additional cybernetics, although we would plan on replacing the substandard work done on her spinal column. Mirala has severe burns, but nothing that requires any cybernetic work. Finally, the Spectre Tela Vasir already has extremely high-end cyberware and bionetic upgrades – we have repaired those to full functionality. Her jaw was shattered and we have had to implant a bridger to keep it together."
Shepard nodded slowly. "What about the troops we sent in?"
Sedanya sighed. "Only fourteen survived. Nine of those are not fit for further duty."
The asari doctor glanced at Mordin, who spoke. "Based on current rate, Vigil and medical staff will finish all surgery by evening. Assume one-week recovery to basic mobility. Preferable to wait two weeks at minimum prior to heavy combat exposure. Suggest restriction of severely injured to base instead of combat for a month."
Shepard leaned back. "Hell of a lot better than most of my old operations. For now, keep everyone rested and do what you can to ensure no complications. Not sure if the Black Blades are gonna stick around, but if they do, let them know the cybernetics are not going to cost them."
She looked across the table at Harper, who shrugged. "In the chaos of Ilium my operators were able to acquire a large amount of funds via various methods. We're probably spending the Broker's money at this time, and I'm disinclined to be frugal when the results could be a matter of life or death, Shepard. I would prefer, of course, if we were able to retain the Black Blades. Less so about a Broker-aligned Spectre or an ardat, but all things have a use."
Shepard nodded. "I'll talk with Aethyta." She frowned. "What else?"
The Illusive Man sipped the drink at his side, before speaking. "The next phase of the plan is somewhat different in execution. As I said, we've accomplished a number of goals. We have concrete proof the Reapers are connected to the Collectors. Thanks to their pique, the Collectors are now the enemy of every interstellar government in the galaxy. We have neutralized Doctor Okeer, taken out both of the Broker's best assassins, obliterated most of, if not all, of his military strength, and gained the gratitude of Aria of Omega, which will be useful when it comes time to assault the Omega Relay."
He leaned back in his chair. "The next phase is to turn the Citadel and the governments behind the Council from enemies into, if not allies, at least friendly neutral parties. Much of this will involve political maneuvering and, in some cases, working with the threat of certain actions. In this, your own actions – including that of the Sisters of Vengeance and Archangel – have aided us immensely. Our gimmick of pretending the Butcher was in league with the two groups has, with the revelation of your identities, made it seem to the average person that this was all planned."
Shepard snorted. "I'm sure the media is eating that angle up."
He nodded, even as he tapped a key on the padd he'd laid on the table and the main view-screen on the far wall illuminated. "An understatement, Shepard. Currently, the media and extranet have gone nearly as insane as they did after you were made a Spectre. Unlike then, the revelation of the true identities of the Archangel and the Sisters of Vengeance has set almost every intelligence group and government reeling. They are fully aware Vigil is working with us and that we are a greater threat than they expected."
He tapped the padd, and it showed an image of the scrolling data dumps Kasumi had extracted from the graybox of her dead lover. "What they do not know, however, is the depth of blackmail and information we have on them. While you've been out doing the hard work, my own people have been adding to this and gathering more facts. We have quite a few crippling items now – the salarians have another Tho'ian on a moon inside their space, the Deathwatch has been kidnapping powerful biotics for dissection and study, and the Systems Alliance had deep connections with certain batarian slave guilds to buy test subjects in return for the SA looking the other way during some raids."
Shepard grit her teeth, and Sensat sighed. "It's worse than that, Cera Harper. One reason I fled the Hegemony was my brother was executed by SIU agents after he accidentally came across trade information. He found records showing the events on Elysium were part of a deal made by the Systems Alliance to reestablish connections with certain high-caste slave lords, after… something went wrong." The batarian's four-eyed gaze drifted toward where Shepard was sitting.
There were a few seconds of uncomfortable silence before Matriarch Trellani asked: "Do you know exactly what went wrong, Cera Sensat?"
Catching the implication, Shepard replied for him through clenched teeth. "Torfan. Torfan went wrong." She let her breath trickle out heavily. "Well, that fucking figures."
Harper nodded. "On top of this, and the… already damning and nearly unbelievable information we discovered, one new fact has emerged. Based on some of the things Vigil managed to uncover in the chaos, we have financial statements proving the Broker pulled his agents out of the wildcat colonies hit by the Collectors a few days – or in one case, nine hours – before the Collectors attacked. One or two might have been coincidence, but not all of them."
Liara's expression grew hard. "In other words, Mr. Harper, you think you can prove a direct link between the Collectors and the Broker – thus making any Council attempts at retaining relations with him a political timebomb." She paused. "Additionally, it makes it much less likely that they will deal with him behind our back, as he cannot be trusted."
He inclined his head. "Good to see you are still paying attention to the little things, Doctor T'Soni." He took a drag of his cigarette, his voice genial. "Much of what I have planned thus far has been groundwork, Shepard. I told you earlier that we couldn't afford your identity to be revealed too early. Only in my best-case scenario was it planned to be hidden until now."
He stubbed out the cigarette. "It's time for the next phase of the plan. Most of it is theatrics at this point, but that is exactly what we need. While it is urgent to take down the Broker, we cannot act precipitously. We must take advantage both of the media situation and our own blackmail effort prior to moving against the Broker."
Shepard nodded slowly. "And how exactly do we do that?"
Harper smiled. "The Citadel Council has responded to our open message asking for a direct meeting with them to discuss future events. Before we have that meeting, however, I want us to contact and set up meetings with the governments behind the Council. That is the asari, the turians, the quarians, the salarians, and the Systems Alliance."
He tapped the padd. "The asari will be, amusingly, the easiest sell. We will give them Trellani's corpse, armor, and warp sword, as well as some personal effects. The story is that you were willing to tolerate her criminality as long as she was under control and useful, but she crossed the line and you made a call not to save her. This has introduced a level of stress into the relationship between you and I, and you do not know or care what secrets Trellani had."
Shepard frowned sourly, and glanced at Trellani. "I'm not super happy about this. News of her survival is going to make me a liar if it ever gets out, and let's not pretend here – the fallout if we lie about this is going to be huge if it blows up on us."
Trellani shook her head. "That will not be a concern. The only people who know of my… situation… are far more loyal to you than to Jack. I will be invisible and for the moment my plans fade to unimportance next to the Reaper threat. Under no circumstances do I plan to reveal I still live. If there are questions, I am a young relative of Trellani's she kept hidden from the Broker's kill squads." She paused. "Given that I doubt I will ever feel safe venturing beyond a Cerberus facility with the vast majority of my biotic strength gone, it is likely not to be an issue."
She inclined her head and smiled. "To the tide's motion, however, I doubt it will matter either way. The Thirty hate me beyond all understanding and I am their greatest foe."
Liara muttered. "That is an understatement."
Trellani's smile grew. "Indeed. To have me delivered to them alive would, of course, be what they wanted, but dead will almost certainly serve. If you knew what I do about the Thirty, you would not stand for them to live another day – the very act of you giving me over to them and not accosting them will convince them you have no knowledge of their crimes."
Shepard shrugged. "You haven't told me what they did, except the bullshit they did to your family in chasing you."
The asari's voice hardened. "It is not important at this juncture. I have waited twenty years for revenge, I can wait a few more. What is critical is that you present this as more of your natural inclination to not tolerate criminality. The understanding will be clear that as long as the Thirty do not hinder you, you are inclined not to dig."
Harper nodded, lighting a fresh cigarette. "Shepard, I want you to do the initial contacts with our demands. For each government, we'll show some of our blackmail hand, and then offer a carrot."
Shepard tilted her head. "A… 'carrot'?"
Trellani's smile was almost menacing. "Something to lessen the sting of the catch. For the asari, the information of my death and the offer to surrender my body to them. For the salarians, Vigil has discovered deep information on the Black Rim Free Sexuality movement – locations of bases, infiltrators, and more."
Harper nodded. "For the turians, aside from us just having killed Tetrimus, we provide more of Vigil's handiwork in identifying separatist terrorist networks. For the quarians, we believe a side project that Doctor Six-Hawks has been working on in conjunction with our quarian ladies has resulted in a cybernetic filtering system that can cut suit-breach reaction severity by half or more."
Shepard arched an eyebrow. "And the Systems Alliance?"
The Illusive Man smiled. "We have them so compromised that no further enticement is needed. But we have a few demands of our own. In fact, we have demands for each government – specific people we want to handle the contact with. We'll work out terms as needed, but we should be firm."
He gestured to the screen. "For the salarians, we need someone who can actually command the High Dalatrass and get her to buckle under, as well as the STG. That means dealing with Muvai Solus. We'll probably get stuck with Linron as well. For the asari, we'll probably have to deal with Thana Vathan herself. If at all possible, we should also talk to Uressa T'Shora. I'd actually suggest for the turians reaching out to Garrus's father, if at all possible, alongside the Primarch. As for the quarians, Admiral Shala'Raan is the best Admiralty figure to deal with – perhaps Tali will have insights as to a second contact point."
Liara frowned. "What about the elcor, volus, and the Hanar Ascendency? Or groups such as the Batarian Empire and Aria?"
Harper took a drag from his cigarette and stubbed it out. "Aria I'll deal with personally. As for the rest… at this point, there's no reason to reach out to any of those groups. Based on the reports I've had my agents obtain, the hanar are extremely dangerous and the volus more hazardous than we expected. I have secondary plans for them at a later date."
He tapped his padd. "Once we've made contact with the primary figures and hashed out who we meet with, we will proceed to the Citadel. We'll meet with the government contacts, then the Council. Our demands from the Council are simple: Suspension of any Spectre who is identified as working for or with the Broker until further notice. Restoration of your Spectre-status. Permission to deal with the Collector threat and to neutralize the Broker. Finally, an understanding that as long as the Council cooperates with us, we will restrict our operations to outside Council Space."
Shepard frowned. "I thought you guys wanted to come in out of the cold."
Harper waggled a hand. "Once we have the Broker's data files and all the assorted blackmail they must contain, and proof he was in collusion with the Collectors, I think we can return to the Council and force a more workable relationship. At the moment we don't have anything on them worthy of shifting their stance, and their governments will rein in the Councilors in the short-term."
Harper then turned to Garrus. "Mr. Vakarian, you and Shepard will be contacting the turians. Lady Liara will help Shepard with the asari. Mordin will assist with the salarians, and once she is up and moving, Tali will aid with the quarians. The Systems Alliance will be contacted by Shepard alone."
Liara frowned. "Mr. Harper, not to state the obvious, but with the exception of Garrus, none of
the people helping Shepard are held in high regard by their governments. Is it wise to go with such a confrontational approach?"
Harper shrugged. "I want it to be clear that Shepard is in control of this effort. While I am still providing intelligence, funding, and general scope, Shepard is and has been in charge of the specifics, and that should not change. And let us both be fair… when has Shepard ever been one for being polite?"
Garrus coughed, and Shepard shot him a look.
Trellani gave a soft laugh, and made a sign of siari agreement. "I also think that being confrontational is the best approach. The leaders are used to having their will done, and anyone too sympathetic to our cause is likely to have little pull or influence on larger events."
Shepard glanced down at her hands, then back up. "Fine. When do we start?"
O-TWCD-O
It was unusual for the High Lords of Sol to be called to conference without advance notice, but not unheard of. As he powered on all the security uplink equipment needed to participate in a remote call, Duke Si Chu wondered absently what could have caused such a thing to be required.
He blanked his features and triggered the connection, aware of the cameras scanning him and replicating his image in the Hall of Lords. From the view he had, it looked like everyone was assembled and he was the last to join.
"My apologies. I was engaged in my nightly meditation and my servants took some time locating me. I presume this is urgent?"
Maxwell Manswell only nodded, then gave a hard motion with his hand to the Japanese Emperor, who spoke. "Forty-seven minutes ago, Systems Alliance High Command received a message configured with the planned one-time pad encryption code for tomorrow's codeshift. It was encrypted with headers that read 'To High Lords from Shepard Answer Quick.' The comm officer on duty segregated the message traffic, generated a new keycode sequence, and immediately notified Duke Aloxius."
Duke Chu noticed Aloxius standing in the middle of the hall, his clothes a bit rumpled-looking and his expression tired. The Minister of Intelligence took up speaking. "The message was short and to the point, milords. In it, Shepard said she was indeed Baroness Sara Shepard. She spoke of a conversation she had with Prince Maxwell at the end of the Benezia Incident that no one else was privy to, as well as mentioning – in passing – details of the NOVENSILES project, the existence of our connection to certain batarian slave markets, and… mentioned that she knew the truth about Victor Manswell and Jacen Manswell."
Chu felt his entire body go cold at those words. Aloxius continued. "She included a bearing frequency segment and a comm-link code to utilize and said she'd be waiting to talk to us."
Maxwell glanced around the room, at the lords present in-person and remote. "I see. You have arranged the communication, I presume?"
Aloxius bowed. "Yes, Your Grace."
Maxwell nodded. "Then let us proceed. Raise the primary screen, engage all scramblers."
Chu waited several seconds as the heavy view-screen extended upwards from the floor, then illuminated, displaying the Systems Alliance logo on black. After almost thirty seconds, the screen lit up, revealing the cool features of Sara Shepard.
Shepard wore an unfamiliar looking uniform of white cloth and gold trim, with light gray panels here and there, set off by a Cerberus insignia on the left breast. Her expression was as cold and flat as usual, her eyes moving slowly across the faces in the room as her lips slowly quirked.
"Well met, gracious lords. I have so missed the pleasure of your company and hospitality, and I am overjoyed to once more return to your presence." The words were purely from the Modes of Address, but were said with an almost gleefully mocking sarcasm that made Chu's skin crawl.
Maxwell spoke, his voice wavering and thin, his breathing labored. "You… were reported to be dead… assuming you are who you… claim to be."
Shepard snorted, but her words were still in the Modes of Address, with a sneering tone. "Please. Spare me the insult of presuming I am blind to the truth. I wish to talk, and it would be prudent to cease with the façade of you being elderly and infirm. We are, after all, peers and members of the human aristocracy. Such needless airs are beneath us… Your Grace."
She said the title with a vicious edge to it, and after a moment Maxwell straightened in his seat, leaning back and narrowing his eyes.
When he next spoke, it was in his real, iron hard tones, and there was no weakness in his voice or gaze. "Very well, if that is how you wish to play. You are not Sara Shepard. She was quite dead. At best you are an abomination Harper has whipped up to play havoc with the Alliance – at worst, you are an outright impostor, some form of surgical alteration to mimic Shepard."
She only smiled. "Your Grace, I do not wish to imply your age has robbed you of… coherence, but I do not believe I have ever demonstrated I'm concerned with what you think. Instead, I present the facts."
She ticked off one finger. "Cerberus has been very busy, and is well-informed on all manner of events. Some are mundane, like your… melodramatic weakness. Others are more dangerous, such as the fact that the sainted Victor Manswell is responsible for the launch and suffering of the Days of Fire."
Her voice spoke the word 'sainted' with rich irony, and she ticked off a second finger. "We know and can prove that he bankrolled Ardiente, that he set off most of the political instability that caused the war in the first place. And we know your own family killed Jacen Manswell before he could make it public. I know everything about NOVENSILES, including the test product, one Oriana Lawson, I believe?" She folded her arms.
Chu sent a hard look at Prince Charles Windsor, who was wincing. He looked back at the display, and Shepard merely smiled. "As for the rest, milords… I don't even need to cover that I have a multitude of evidence linking various families to certain batarian operations. Not to be gauche or crass, but quite honestly, I can have all this hit the extranet in as little as two seconds… and you haven't got any way to stop me, or stop the fallout."
Maxwell's voice was thunderous. "And if you do that, you idiotic child, you will destroy humanity utterly!"
Shepard nodded, and her voice suddenly fell out of the Modes of Address as her eyes narrowed viciously. "Also true. Given the shit I endured – and the way I was murdered – I could argue that may be for the best. Except the facts I have on the asari and salarians is even more sickening than all of the stunts Victor pulled combined."
She visibly calmed herself, and her signature smirk emerged. "Along those lines, milords, I do not plan to release this information unless you force my hand. It would be preferable if you simply accepted my offer."
Maxwell watched her. "And what is the nature of this… offer?"
She unfolded her arms, spreading them wide. "Work with me, that's the offer. I plan to head to the Citadel and meet with representatives of all the Council races, to get them to sign on to me taking action against the Broker and eventually the Collectors. I expect this will be met with a great deal of stupid resistance, hence why I'm… informing you about the level and amount of blackmail material I have."
She raised her left hand. "Work with me, keep the Alliance in line, determine the social and political movements and justifications to keep humanity safe and secure, as much as possible – which, I might point out, does not include abominations like NOVENSILES. Ensure the fools from Arcturus don't interfere with my operations." She let her hand drop. "In return, all of the distasteful topics we were just forced to remember will remain part of the past. And what is in the past stays in the past."
Jonah Ashland stroked his chin. "And we are to just believe you are not going to act on this?"
Shepard shrugged. "The High Lords are less likely to, shall we say, lead humanity down roads that we will never recover from than the alternative, Your Grace. At the moment… I would not exactly say I am pleased about the fact that none of you will face justice, but the Reapers are a lot more of a problem than you are right now, and the Collectors are more immediately dangerous."
Duke Eldfell sneered. "And if, madame, we choose not to go along with your… request? As Prince Maxwell said, this information is too volatile for you to actually use. Humanity itself would revile you for doing such damage even as it pointlessly rebelled, and the resulting fallout would destroy our entire species."
Shepard slowly shook her head. "That's where you're wrong, milord. There is no necessity for me to use the information directly and stain myself with such a thing, when I may simply send it to, say, the STG. Or the Thirty. Or perhaps P., if a mood of reckless whimsy strikes me. As for the survival of humanity, I'm fairly certain there's already enough humans in Asari Space alone to keep the race alive just fine."
She leaned forward towards the camera. "Nor should I be required to belabor the point – you don't seem to get the fact that no matter what happened to me, you would not survive. Furthermore, based on various information sources, I am confident that in such a catastrophe, even the entirety of the Commissariat would turn against you."
She smiled. "So, pardon the bluntness. You work with me, or you die, milords. It's very simple. I have no intention of using any of this information unless and until you push me to it."
Maxwell glanced around the room, unperturbed. "Are those all of your… demands?"
She shook her head. "No. One more, Your Grace. You still have Prince James and Eliza, ah, 'ensconced' on Dirth?"
Prince Charles nodded slowly. "Yes… why?"
Shepard leaned back. "I'll be asking each race to send representatives of note to the Citadel. In some cases, this is further verification that I am who I claim to be – the people will have had private conversations that no clone or trick could duplicate. Others are witnesses, since I am, perforce, required to endure a full bioscan. Given that I cannot fathom any reason why milords would require Prince James or his offspring, I would request both surrendered to my custody."
Prince Charles frowned. "But why him?"
She shrugged, and once again her voice fell out of the Modes of Address as her gaze hardened. "I wouldn't trust any of you as far as I could spit, and I damn well know Huerta has NOVENSILES overrides on his graybox. Thus, the only President and Supreme Commander I recognize is His Majesty, Prince James Windsor. The fact you cretins stripped him of his titles after blackmailing him with his own daughter only served to piss me off more. Send him or we'll have a special edition of Citadel Nightly News."
She once again made a visible effort at calming herself, then placed her hands behind her back. "Ultimately, milord, the choices are yours. How I will interact with you depends very much on how you choose to… respond to my requests."
Maxwell made a motion with his hand. "Very well. Is that all?"
She smiled again. "That will suffice for the balance of events. Send the Prince along with whomever is given the honor of representation of the Lords of Sol, and I'll know you're willing to work with me. In return, I'll give you everything we know about the salarian ALTERATION project and some… ah, shall we say, interesting facts about the asari Discerning."
Aloxius jerked slightly at that, Chu noticed sourly, much like a hooked fish. Maxwell merely inclined his head slowly. "For the moment, assume we are willing to… deal. I presume this means you intend to set yourself beyond our command from now on?"
Shepard shrugged. "I don't know. At this point, it does not matter. My priority, Your Grace, is stopping the Reapers from killing us all. Compared to that, political infighting seems very pointless to engage in. I'm not here to dictate terms. I'm not here to bring judgment. I am not happy with the course of events and have not been for some time, but we must all deal with reality, milords. I'll deal with what to do about my own life once larger and more catastrophic events have been resolved… and if we fail to resolve them, then we will all be dead and the matter academic."
The Japanese Emperor spoke softly. "You say you will engage in a full bioscan aboard the Citadel? Very well. We also have conditions, Baroness – we have an assessment team led by Commodore Anderson and Commandant Chisholm who were to investigate and verify you are who you claim to be. Due to the chaos of Ilium, they were unable to do so. It is theoretically possible, I suppose, to somehow fool the bio-scanner – you have the Inusannon device, Vigil, and the STG report on its capacities leaves me in doubt as to how useful a bioscan would ultimately be. You will also agree to meet with this group and answer all their questions to our satisfaction."
Shepard was silent a few moments, then nodded. "That is fair, I think. I have no problems with that, Your Grace. Assuming I satisfy them and you, I don't plan to operate at all within Alliance Space or cause you any difficulties as long as you do the same."
Sir John Setras, prince of Italy, crossed his legs, his voice lancing out. "And just why are you coming at us so aggressively, anyway? If you are who you say you are, your allegiance should be to humanity, not… Cerberus of all people. I grasp you are unhappy with things that past figures undertook – but we did not make those choices."
She tilted her head. "Your Grace, sophistry and evasion of responsibility have never been traits I hold to or look upon fondly. I am not interested in Victor's crime, but one cannot deny that almost all of the power and privilege you currently enjoy is directly due to his actions, as is the condition of the Earth and the loss of billions of people. To imply you should be held innocent when you are the primary benefactors strikes me as ethical cowardice."
She shrugged. "However, even if I took that at face value, the events that led to the abominations you are planning are most certainly directly your fault. I've been told that a paper called 'Ramifications' was used as a justification for NOVENSILES. Is that correct?"
Maxwell's eyes narrowed further. Chu noticed with sour amusement that Aloxius appeared to be in actual physical pain.
Maxwell spoke in a harder tone. "You are extremely well-informed. To dangerous levels."
She shrugged. "I have already said so, Your Grace. My point is simple: you all are responsible for conceiving such an abomination. You were made nobles to defend humanity, not to enslave or pervert it, regardless of what you think or what justifications you have. I don't have the time to go after you and deal with humanity trying to find its feet again with Reapers coming, but that does not mean I am inclined to serve people willing to engage in such activity."
She narrowed her eyes. "For all the multitudes of sins and faults the man has, at least the Illusive Man also shows regret and attempts to find less distasteful methods to achieve goals. From what I've gathered, a great many of you look down on the poor and powerless as trash. I will never again sublimate myself to those such as you, but I am willing to work together to save all of our lives, if you can find in yourselves the will to work with me."
She folded her arms again, letting her weight fall back onto one leg. "Do we have a deal or not, milords?"
There were long seconds of silence, then Eldfell threw up his hands. "Rangez vos couilles et dites oui, bordel! Cette salope va nous donner à becqueter aux prolos!" He sneered, and a moment later spoke in English. "One cannot reason with a blade held to the throat, after all."
The rest of the High Lords signaled their agreement, and finally Maxwell himself nodded. "It seems we do have a deal… Baroness."
She inclined her head gracefully, then met his gaze. "When we were headed out to Ilos chasing Benezia, you asked me if I was still willing to die before dishonor. To fight for humanity until I died. To protect those who cannot do so themselves. Remember that?"
A flicker of uncertainty and something much like shock crossed Maxwell's ancient features, and Chu arched an eyebrow. Clones certainly didn't retain memories, so perhaps this really was Shepard.
Maxwell's voice was calm. "I remember."
She nodded. "Answer's the same. Make sure Prince James and Eliza are at the Citadel waiting for me."
The signal cut out, and Aloxius turned to the AIS agent manning the comms control panel. "Any idea of location or distance?"
The younger man shook his head. "No, milord. Still tracking, but she must have bounced it through a hundred buoys, and at least one laser-link connection. No way past that to do a trace, milord."
Maxwell grunted. "A waste of time to try, nephew. She has had months if not years of learning at the feet of Harper – she will not make easily exploited mistakes. The number of things we thought long buried and forgotten in the hands of that snake means he's prepared for us."
His hands adjusted the blanket over his legs. "Send out the Silver Legion – activate Legios Four through Nine to try and trace Cerberus activity."
Prince Ngubane gave a bark of laughter. "That will not fare well against Vigil, Your Grace, assuming the Citadel's beliefs are correct."
Maxwell shrugged. "Oh, I have no doubt Harper has Vigil. It was a masterstroke I did not think of myself. As for the action, it is better than no action at all. If we did nothing, Shepard and Harper would become suspicious very fast."
He glanced around the hall. "Whether she is true or a fake, fellow lords, we cannot afford to underestimate Cerberus again. Reaper menace or not, the group must be utterly destroyed to the last sapient being and its files taken. Make no mistake – Harper will strike as soon as he feels he can do so safely, and if this is really Shepard, there is no forgiveness or mercy in her nature."
He leaned back. "So, for now, we play along. She wants NOVENSILES stopped. We can do that, as the money at this juncture is better spent on the fleet and preparing for the Reapers. Milords Eldfell and Ashland can work with Windsor's MarsCorp team to save the most promising genelines… and we can be safely rid of that disgusting cretin Lawson."
He turned to the Prince of England. "Prince Charles, take your wayward brother and his illegitimate daughter and represent our interests. Make it very clear that they are not to return to Alliance Space afterwards. Otherwise, go along with the majority of the races and specifically ensure whatever action is decided, we are on the side of the asari."
The heavyset man nodded. "What about the kill team backing Anderson? We haven't given them the go/no-go yet, as I understand. Right now, Delacor is getting them set up on the Citadel."
Maxwell smiled thinly. "Wait for the scan results and her interactions with those who should know her. If it is some copy or fake, terminate it. We will risk the damage. Harper, at least, is far too weak to gamble with stakes that high. Shepard, if it really is her, is not so delicate. If it turns out this is no ruse or fake, recall the kill team instantly."
Chu finally spoke. "Certainly, she is not mad enough to wreck all humanity with these… events she has gained knowledge of?"
Maxwell merely shook his head. "Even before she died, I found myself admiring her spine. She will not shy away from any cost, I think, to kill the Reapers. And unlike that cretin Harper, I do not gamble. What matters is not if she would, but if she could. And as she is infected with loving asari, I would take those words about the humans in the Republic as a warning she would have no problems obliterating us all."
Maxwell gestured, and the Japanese Emperor rose. "This meeting is over. I will handle the media personally and ensure the best possible light is cast upon events."
The meeting broke up, leaving Chu alone in his palatial residence, thinking very hard on what actions he should take in the near future to ensure his own survival.
O-TWCD-O
DOWNLOADING: Data feed, prime broadcast segment 485, terminal date 04.17.2185
Manifest dump 98522-core alpha, unclassified
This is an official Systems Alliance data capture dump, replication or rebroadcast is restricted.
Transcript begins, identifiers J: al-Jiliani / E: His Imperial Majesty, Emperor Nikoru Hirohito Yamato
Keywords: Butcher, Shepard, Alliance, Ilium, asari
BEGIN:
"Westerlund news! All the news, fit or unfit to print, 24/7!"
J: "Good afternoon. I'm Khalisah Bint Sinan al-Jilani, Westerlund News Network. I'm sure you've already seen the footage of what some are now calling the 'Fall of Ilium,' and the ramifications of that battle. The official death toll is now standing at well over seventy million asari, over four hundred thousand humans, and at least a million turians. Other casualty figures are still being tallied, but the combined number of dead and those expected to die of radiation-related injuries, cancers, or other issues is likely to top one hundred million sapient beings."
J: "The actions of the Asari Republic on Ilium, the complete savagery of the unexpected geth attack, and the revelation that Cerberus has a fleet well beyond the capacities it once had, all lead to very disturbing questions. The appearance of drone footage showing a seemingly living Sara Shepard is even more shocking and confusing."
J: "As usual, the Citadel Council has not made any official statements. In the interest of providing both clarity and reassurance to humanity, His Imperial Majesty, Japanese Emperor Nikoru Yamato, states that he shall hold a press conference later today at the New Imperial Palace."
J: "However, before His Majesty does so, he has graciously decided to appear on Westerlund News to provide some of the plans of the Alliance, the Senate, and of course the High Lords of Sol."
J: {rises and bows formally} "Welcome, Your Majesty. We are extremely honored by your presence today."
E: "Thank you, Ms. Al-Jilani. We remain a very satisfied observer of your news program. It is the main reason we have chosen to provide this interview, since the questions of the general press are likely to be, shall we say, less than polite?"
J: "I appreciate your interest, Your Majesty. To start, a lot of our callers and extranet commentators are mostly very interested in what the appearance of people thought to be dead is all about – Sara Shepard in particular."
E: "That is a complex question that is, unfortunately, at the center of our own confusion. There is already an internal investigative committee working on the issue, headed by Commodore David Anderson. The findings of the committee so far are… concerning and unsettling."
E: {the Emperor steeples his fingers, expression severe} "From what little we have been able to gather, some two years ago a large number of highly skilled cyberneticists, clone specialists, surgical experts, and experimental researchers into postmortem consciousness vanished from the Systems Alliance. Doctor Wilson, the researcher who did the majority of the work on President Huerta, was among these people."
E: "A group we now know was a cover or shell corporation run by Cerberus also purchased a large number of various technologies in related fields, most of them highly experimental. Several of these companies simply folded up and ceased operating, with little to no warning."
E: "Some time prior to this, the recovered Inusannon VI known as 'Vigil' that Major-Commander Shepard recovered during the Benezia Incident went missing and we thought it had been destroyed. Recent evidence from various locations, including Freedom's Progress, indicates it was not destroyed at all. From the investigation, it was determined Vigil was most likely removed from Citadel custody, placing unknown levels of highly advanced technology far beyond anything we could match into the hands of unknown parties."
E: "It appears, by our best estimates, that the person calling themselves 'the Butcher' can be no one else but Sara Shepard. Her moves have been measured by computers and there is almost no difference in her movements or known skills. On at least two occasions she has used specific maneuvers that only Shepard used, and her mastery of what the asari call the 'dancing kanquess' is further proof, given that only nineteen asari in the galaxy still know how it is performed – in addition to Shepard."
J: "But she died. We had a funeral, saw her body. People don't come back from the dead."
E: "The corpse returned to us was, as we have later found out, a flash-clone. We are fairly certain we know what has happened: Shepard was critically injured and her SPECTRE armor engaged its stasis module. Her body was recovered – possibly by criminals – and taken to Omega, where her wife and several others were thought to have died recovering it."
E: {makes a grimace} "Due to testimony given by General von Grath, we know now that Cerberus was behind this recovery. Her body was therefore taken by Cerberus and they've managed – somehow – to bring her back, possibly using the same methods by which President Huerta was revived."
J: "And the others? The drone footage showed images of what looked like Liara T'Soni-Shepard, and other enthusiast sites have ID'd Garrus Vakarian and his mate as well. All of these people were reported dead."
E: "It is clear that we are dealing with some level of either a conspiracy to misstate or falsify the deaths of these people… or some highly disturbing new technology that may be capable of reviving the dead. We must stress that we never recovered any corpses for Lady Liara, Garrus Vakarian, or Telanya Vakarian. At the current juncture, we are still unsure as to the reasons this was done."
J: "How do the High Lords plan to react to this… event? And can we be sure this really is Sara Shepard, sainted by the Church – or some kind of imitation?"
E: "The High Lords currently plan to send a liaison to the Citadel – as have the asari, the turians, the salarians, and the quarians. Our own liaison will be Prince Charles Windsor alongside an adviser, and I believe the asari will be sending Lady Uressa and the High Solarch to the event. Per a communication received last night, the person claiming to be Shepard will be arriving at the Citadel in a few days to communicate directly with the Council and our liaisons."
E: "In the absence of any additional information we must perforce wait for outcomes. The Butcher has already agreed to undergo a complete bioscan and full scanning routine – if this is some form of flash-clone or fake it will be found out."
J: "And if it is not, Your Majesty?"
E: "Then much will depend on her answers as to her current state and why she is associating with a group of terrorists she helped destroy some years ago. A full bioscan cannot be fooled. It cannot be tricked – it does not make any logical sense for her to agree to such unless it really is her."
J: "Your Majesty, from what little we've been able to see, this new Cerberus appears to contain aliens and has a strikingly different modus operandi than the old group did. Despite their actions at Horizon and Ilium, many still do not trust them – do the High Lords have an opinion on this?"
E: "Ms. Al-Jilani, at the moment we are operating without hard facts or clarity. Knee-jerk reactions or preconceived notions may look strong, but we are not inclined to… speculate… without a better level of both understanding and analysis. What we can say is that the High Lords of Sol are not prepared at this time to proffer any formal recognition of this person as Baroness Sara Shepard without very clear and irrefutable proofs."
J: "Very good. As for the chaos on Ilium, how do the High Lords suggest responding?"
E: "To be sure, the Alliance diplomatic corps – and in areas of evacuation or defense assessment, the military – are taking the lead on that. The High Lords do not intend to interfere with the choices made by the Prime Minister, President, and Admiralty, although the Lords of Sol as a whole are donating sixty million credits towards relief efforts. We have full confidence in the government set in place and do not intend to undercut their efforts. That being said, we were all somewhat taken aback by the brutality of the justicars."
E: {leans back} "However, we must also consider this in the light of national sovereignty. There are those who see the righteous actions of the Commissariat in burning out heresy, corruption, and crime as 'too brutal.' There are those who see the Penal Legions as slavery, or the suppression of disruptive speech as going beyond merely authoritarian into tyranny. Despite having a fully elected government with alien members in it and voting rights for all, we cannot recall the number of times our government has been accused of fascism for refusing to tolerate dissonance, criminality, and ignorance."
E: "In light of that and the fact that aliens are, no matter how much we admire our cousins, still alien – we hesitate to comment on any particulars of the event. The situation as presented had elements that are not yet ready for public release, and at least one reason why the Republic acted as it did was very strong proof the CEOs of Ilium were working with Aria, the Queen of Omega – who is responsible for tens of thousands of deaths of Alliance citizens and many more acts of slavery, piracy, and the like."
E: "Finally, it is not within our purview to interfere with internal politics of the Republic. The humans on Ilium were not Alliance citizens – every one of them renounced such to go to Ilium, and some of those were criminals or worse. Ilium hosted, for reasons we cannot fathom, the single largest concentration of humans with Brazilian ancestry in the galaxy after Oro, and their loss is not exactly tragic."
J: "Just so. Your Majesty, we appreciate the time you've given us, and your clarification of events. One final question, if I may? The geth attack on Ilium was completely unheralded and seemingly without a reason aside from brutal savagery – do we have any idea how they even got there, or what their objective was?"
E: "Quarian Techmarines are deploying to the planet alongside rescue teams to see if they can salvage anything from the geth forces, but at this time, we are as baffled as you are. The geth clearly understand more about the relay network than we do, as they seem to be able to use tricks similar to the Collectors in their attack on Horizon."
E: "The High Lords have personally agreed to set aside eight percent of our personal revenue and income to the founding and laying keels of a new, 8th Fleet. The specific focus of this fleet will be a mixture of border defense for our more vulnerable Class I colonies as well as a spear to lance the Perseus Veil with. Alongside the brave quarian fleet – and of course, elements from the Turian Hierarchy and perhaps the asari – we expect to finally pay the geth back with interest for Eden Prime and this atrocity in short order."
J: "A day I'm sure we all look forward to, Your Majesty. Thank you for your time."
O-TWCD-O
The figure in the wheelchair gave a soft harrumphing noise that James Windsor found unexpectedly amusing. "You disagree with the Emperor, Eliza?"
The slender woman sitting across from the former Prince and President gave a stiff nod, hands gripping the soft felt blanket over her useless legs tightly, her voice almost icy with disdain.
"That creep infuriates me every time I see him, and you of all people know why."
Windsor inclined his head, his hair slipping to cover part of his face as he stared down at his hands. "I know, my dear. As I've said, the blame is mine for being… foolish."
The face of his daughter softened. "It isn't foolish to strive for justice, or to lash out at corruption. If even half of what brave Lord Kyle reported was true—"
Windsor gave a bitter bark of laughter. "Then I should have had the common sense my brother did and avoided it all the more. I cost us everything – a good part of the family, hundreds of thousands dead in the arcology, and—"
She cut him off again, the wheelchair jerking forward to get closer. "NO! Daddy, to blame yourself for the evil of men like the Emperor, and that jackass Reginald, and that horrid vampire Chu – that isn't fair to you or accurate. You did what you could to stem the tide of what they were doing to ruin humanity's future."
James looked up into Eliza's eyes. "And I cost a brave woman her life, her career, the lives of her loved ones. And now she is in the service of one who I could not hope to fathom, a being so twisted and slippery even Aloxius and Max could never match wits with him, who has contended – with no support – against the combined might of every intelligence service and the Broker's legions and won."
He swallowed and looked away. "If what they are saying is true, then I have given her into the hands of an evil that could be just as bad as what we have. I do not doubt the Illusive Man was feeding me information for his own purposes."
She gave a sigh, and opened her mouth to speak, but the wall speaker gave a hard chime. A moment later the raspy voice of Commissar Granite came from it. "Lord Windsor, a Commissariat detachment with guests is here to speak with you. I have conveyed them to the foyer."
Windsor frowned in confusion as he stood, Eliza rolling after him as he opened the thin door. His quarters were hardly the stuff of luxury – two small bedrooms, a single bathroom, a living/kitchen/dining area, and a receiving foyer. All together it perhaps measured the size of a decent apartment on some arcology tower in the poor part of Bekenstein.
The carpets were a flat, dull gray and the walls the same color, shorn of almost all décor. The furniture was sturdy but cheap-feeling duraplast and the only real luxury they had was the meals
and food ingredients allowed.
Windsor emerged into the foyer and walked to the center of the room, as a pair of Lancers came in and held the door. A Commandant entered first, his skin a dark brown and set off with intense light brown eyes and a vaguely familiar set to his features. He was followed by two people he never expected to see in-person again.
The first was his brother, Prince Charles. Unlike James, Charles had put on weight, his blond hair streaked with gray and his face set in deep lines. Flanking him was the pitiless and cruel features of Jonah Ashland, dressed in the trademark ash-gray he always effected.
James inclined his head narrowly. "Brother. Milord Jonah. Welcome to my… abode, as it were.
You are acquainted with my daughter."
Charles frowned, but Ashland speared Eliza with a measuring glance and then nodded. "Good. Lancers, depart. Commandant, I will speak with you once this is concluded – ensure we are not spied upon."
The Commissariat staff withdrew, and Ashland sat down on one of the cheap couches. "I presume you watched Nikuru's little interview?"
Windsor nodded, remaining standing as Charles sat next to Jonah. "I did. I was… impressed at his ability to dance around the truth."
Jonah shrugged. "The public is not my purview nor why I am here. The Butcher sent out a communication after the mess at Ilium, a few days after. It had a short list of demands, both to the High Lords – and other ruling bodies – and to the Council."
Jonah glanced at Charles, who reddened and spoke. "The, ah, missive was rather blunt, and the one sent to the High Lords was sent by our own encryption codes – how, we are not sure. Among other unpleasant things, the person claiming to be Shepard presented several, ah, facts to the High Lords that made them… unwilling to argue with her."
It took a great deal of effort for James not to smile mockingly at that. Instead he nodded somberly. "I would expect Harper has blackmail."
Both of the Lords shook their head. "This is beyond that. This is to do with the Will and the Project." He sent a glance at Eliza, who clearly did not grasp those words.
James felt his legs weaken and sat down awkwardly on the other couch. The 'Will' was the codename the High Lords used in covering up the fact that Victor Manswell had not been a savior but had been the one to incite the Days of Fire and to bankroll and guide Ardiente. If it ever came out, humanity would rebel.
The 'Project' was the codename for various black projects he'd never been read-in on, but had been warned about in very oblique terms. From the little he knew about them, if they came to light the Alliance would be invaded and most likely destroyed.
It took himself several seconds to regain his color. "We agreed to her demands, I am guessing?"
Ashland gave a grimace of his own, his voice roughly disgusted. "We had no choice. My only consolation is she hinted at having worse intel on the asari and the rest of the aliens. Her demands were simple – she wanted a liaison to speak with directly who had the ear of the High Lords, and could convey the rest. And she wanted that liaison to have an assistant of her choosing. When we selected your brother, she gave us the name of the assistant."
His brother gave him a lopsided smile. "That would be you."
James leaned back. "Me? Why?"
Charles' smile grew wider. "I will quote directly. Ahem. 'I wouldn't trust any of you as far as I could spit, and I damn well know Huerta has NOVENSILES overrides on his graybox. Thus, the only President and Supreme Commander I recognize is His Majesty, Prince James Windsor. The fact you cretins stripped him of his titles after blackmailing him with his own daughter only pisses me off more. Send him or we'll have a special edition of Citadel Nightly News,' unquote."
James pursed his lips thoughtfully. "And what exactly is the answer?"
Ashland pulled a piece of red cardstock from his vest and sighed. "By the Grace of the High Lords of Sol, in the name of Blessed Victor, thus we do declare James Windsor our attaché d'office, without portfolio, along with any staff as may be required, to communicate with Baroness Sara Shepard alongside His Majesty, Prince Charles Windsor." The older man looked up. "Your exile is officially ended. Once this assignment is complete, you are not to return to the Systems Alliance, nor is your daughter. Your citizenship will be annulled and you will be entirely at the mercy of… Shepard."
James glanced at Eliza, who shrugged. "I see no reason to argue with these terms. Given we have been nigh unto imprisoned, I do not think we'll need very long to pack or will much miss your graceful courtesy and hospitality. Brother, when must we be ready to depart?"
Charles shrugged. "The cruiser Impervious Will – a Guard of Iron ship, not Alliance – is on standby. Whenever you are prepared, the Lancers outside will convey you both to quarters aboard the vessel. Please take any belongings you wish to keep with you. You have two hours."
The two lords stood, and Jonah at least had the courtesy to give a shallow bow to Eliza before departing. A moment later the Commandant reentered the room.
"Prince Windsor—"
James held up a hand. "I was, I believe, stripped of any and all titles by the High Lords."
The Commandant's narrow, cold features twisted into a small smile. "I don't recall that being a formal charge. As I was saying, Your Majesty, I can have my Lancers assist with any packing that is needed – and I have two female Lancers, if milady Eliza requires assistance."
James wondered exactly how a Commandant could be more courteous than his own brother and smiled. "That would be appreciated, Commandant…?"
The man bowed. "Commandant Brad Anderson, of House Anderson. I'm afraid I'm not a scion of the family, exactly." The smile widened. "But Commodore Anderson is my cousin, and not all of us are unhappy at knowing Shepard lives."
O-TWCD-O
"…and that is the entirety of the report, Broker."
The massive hand tapped the comm panel on the desk. "Very well. Inform Barla Von to find some pretense to leave the Citadel until events have calmed – our projects require a steady flow of funds and Harper will seek to attack our economic underpinnings as soon as he can have a free hand. Move all of our science projects to Bre-Ka X in Sorensis System."
"Yes, sir. Any other actions?"
The Shadow Broker leaned back in his oversized chair, his features only illuminated by the floating info drone by his side. After a long moment, the hand tapped the comm key again. "Not at this time. Have Agent Anopsial transit directly to the Shadow immediately. He will be replacing Tetrimus in the short-term."
The Broker stood slowly, massive shoulders heaving as he pushed away from his desk, and turned to the heavy metallic cabinets to his rear. Sliding one of them open, the dim light of the drone and the many haptic screens above outlined the shape of a SPEAR minigun, a pair of Revenant machine guns, and a heavy, pitted, metallic axe.
"Drone. Elevate internal security to level III. Initialize all security mechs, and bring up all internal defensive screens. Keep them at full readiness until otherwise instructed. And dispatch additional mechs to the T&I section of the ship – I don't want our guests disturbed any time soon."
"Of course, Shadow Broker." The drone bobbed in mid-air. "Should I contact the security force leader as well?"
The yahg smiled as he ran his hand across the axe blade that had won him his third name. "No. I am almost certain Cerberus will fall for the bait I set in Tazzik, and will be destroyed by my trap. But there is always the possibility I am wrong, and I would not want to be caught unawares."
His mouth opened in a smile. "It is ultimately irrelevant. They fumble in the dark, while I was born in it."
