Chapter 58

An hour had come and gone, and the Statorowskis had just finished up dinner. Lindsay and Rolf were currently making their way up the wooden stairs leading to the second floor of the residence, on their way to Lindsay's room to fit Rolf's tuxedo as planned.

From Rolf's perspective, dinner had went exceptionally well. Rolf and Chuck spent what seemed like an eternity engaged in conversion about Diesel engines and foreign food; while the two men shared exuberant smiles as they conversed at lightning speed, Lindsay appeared as if she was being driven insane. Compounding Lindsay's annoyance with Rolf and Chuck's conversation regarding topics she didn't particularly care about was the choice of cuisine. As usual, Lindsay opted to make herself plate consisting of a choice of standard meat cut, vegetables, and her favorite food a baked potato. However, she was not able to enjoy her meal as much as she hoped to, for the "girly girl" was driven to disgust as she witnessed Rolf and Chuck tear away at Rolf's dish (Octopus tentacles and pigs eyes) as if they had never ate before, and literally drink entire bowls of Lindsay's duck blood soup; the display resulted in the young girl losing her appetite.

As the two approached the door to Lindsay's room, the tall girl removed a set of keys from one the pockets sewn into her coat. As she inserted the key, she decided to initiate a conversation.

"Alright, let's get this over with," said Lindsay, "A few rules. One, you don't touch anything without asking me. Two, you do not go anywhere near my private bathroom, open any cabinets, or come with me into the closet. And three, most important, you do not lay down on my bed, got it."

Lindsay turned the key, and upon realizing that she could have potentially appeared rather harsh to Rolf, decided to bring light to the situation.

"Thanks for understanding sweetie," said Lindsay as she pinched his cheek, "It's a girl thing, ya know?"

Rolf simply smiled as Lindsay opened the door.

"Well, here it is," said Lindsay as she entered the room, signaling Rolf to come in, "Come on in."

Rolf entered the room, taking his place standing in the center as Lindsay closed the door behind him. He observed his surroundings, feeling somewhat awkward being in a girls room due to it being his first time doing so, as well as his culture frowning upon such things. Nevertheless, he managed to retain his typical chipper persona.

"Rolf enjoys being given the privilege of entering his sweet Babushkas room," said Rolf, "In Rolf's culture, ones bedroom is a window to ones desires, and a shrine to all things near and dear to them. Your walls are as pink as the skin on Rolf's pig Wilfred, and signify the purity of your heart, just as Rolf has already known."

"Meh, suits me," said Lindsay as she began making her way towards her walk-in closet, "I'll be right back, you wait here while I get your winter ball tuxedo."

Lindsay opened the door leading into her spacious closet, and turned on the single overhead light by pulling it's long silver chain. She gently pushed the door towards the closed position, no quite hard enough for it to latch, but enough to prevent Rolf from witnessing activities occurring inside. After ensuring she was isolated from Rolf, she turned her attention to the interior of the closet. Lining the red walls were long poles, on which hung too many pairs of shirts and pants to count. Below the hanging garments were several pairs of shoes, ranging from high heels to sneakers, of multiple different colors and styles.

While the clothing selection in the main area of the closet seemed insurmountable, the garment Lindsay was currently looking for was not among it. Rather than rummaging through the clothes out in the open, Lindsay made her way to a set of two double doors that seemed to form a "sub closet" within the main area. These particular doors were secured in the closed position by two locks, each requiring it's own key to open. Lindsay turned towards the entrance door, and after ensuring she was still alone, proceeded to unlock the doors using keys mounted on the same ring as the one used to unlock the door to her room.

The inside of the secured area was quite small, with enough room for only a few garments. Inside, two dresses hung from a silver bar; one light blue in color and made of satin, and another one pure white in color, appearing extremely ornate and made of charmeuse. Both dresses appeared to be tailored to fit an individual a few inches taller than Lindsay, and of a very slim frame.

Hanging adjacent to the dresses was a black bag, containing the tuxedo Lindsay had procured for Rolf. She quickly removed it from it's hook, closed the doors (ensuring that they were properly locked) and returned to her bedroom, ordering Rolf into her private bathroom to change into the garments.

As Lindsay awaited Rolf's return, she took a seat on her bed and began combing her hair, turning her vanity mounted mirror towards her to ensure that her blonde waves hung perfectly over her shoulders as expected. Around ten minutes passed, after which the door to the bathroom finally opened, and Rolf emerged wearing his tuxedo. The tuxedo was formal indeed, and consisted of a black suit jacket and dress pants, a light blue vest, and a white undershirt. As Rolf made his way into the bedroom, he appeared quite nervous as he attempted, (and failed) to tie his bow-tie.

"Poppycock!" said Rolf, "Rolf must apologize, as he still fails to understand the working of these strange garments worn by the people of the country on the formal occasion."

"Ugh, do I have to do everything?" asked Lindsay as she rolled her eyes, stood up off of her bed, and walked towards Rolf's position. She proceeded to take both ends of the tie in her hands, and begin the process of forming it into a bow.

As Lindsay began working on Rolf's tie, the tall eccentric boy decided to initiate a new conversation as he adopted a radiant smile, and sighed dreamily.

"My sweet Babushka," said Rolf, "Words in any language cannot express how happy Rolf is to be with you tonight, and to be into your humble abode."

"Yeah," said Lindsay in a sarcastic manner, "It's a blast."

"Most of all," said Rolf, "Rolf is pleased to meet the man his beautiful Schmetlockin calls father, and even more pleased that Rolf shares many common interests with him."

Lindsay remained silent as Rolf momentarily paused, after which he adopted an expression of curiosity.

"Tell me Lidsy," said Rolf, "Who is this, female your Papa speaks of at the dinner table."

"Oh, you mean Dyt," said Lindsay, adopting a slight scowl, "She's my...mother."

"Ah," said Rolf, "And where is this mother?"

"Out," said Lindsay.

"Well Rolf most certainly wishes to meet her," said Rolf, "For in Rolf's culture, not meeting the mother of the courted female in a timely manner is a sure sign of shame and..."

Lindsay suddenly used both her hands to tighten the tie around Rolf's neck. Defying all logic, Rolf's head seemed to swell up in a cartoonish fashion as his eyes bulged out of his head.

"Listen," said Lindsay, "I said my mothers out, and that's all you need to know. In my culture, we don't ask foolish questions that are none of your business, understand?"

Rolf nodded his head up and down, at which point Lindsay released her grip, allowing Rolf to relax and catch his breath. As Lindsay completed the process of tying the tie, a proverbial light bulb ignited above her head as she saw the perfect opportunity to execute a plan she had in mind for days.

"But guess what cutie," said Lindsay, "I am willing to share some more about dating in our culture if you're willing to listen."

"For you my Sweet Babushka," said Rolf, "Rolf will travel to the furthest reaches of the world. What is it you say you wish to share with Rolf regarding this hubbub you call dating?"

"Well..." said Lindsay, "If I recall, it was your friend Eddy that encouraged you to pursue me, correct?"

"Yes," said Rolf, "The small fry Ed boy assisted Rolf greatly, and Rolf is thankful beyond belief."

"I thought so," said Lindsay, "See in our culture, it's customary for a gentleman to pay honor to any guy that introduced them to their girlfriend by stealing a pair of his most colorful underwear, and presenting them to their loved one."

Rolf appeared quite bewildered as he stared into Lindsay's seductive eyes.

"Rolf is confused," said Rolf, "Rolf does not remember boy Kevin stealing a pair of the garments that adorn Rolf's nether regions, even though Rolf introduced him to the Go-Go Nazz girl."

"That's because it's supposed to be a secret honey!" said Lindsay as she wrapped her arms around Rolf's neck, "C'mon love, tonight's the perfect opportunity, everyone's at the parade. You'll be able to sneak in and out without being noticed. You aren't going to let me down, are you?

Lindsay leaned closed to Rolf's ear as she whispered her last line in a sultry tone. The sound of her voice, in addition to the feeling of her breath on his ear, seemed to place Rolf into a proverbial trance.

"Have no fear Lidsy," said Rolf, "For Rolf has no qualms upholding your traditions. I shall retrieve your garments quickly and efficiently after we finish fitting Rolf's tuxedo!"

"Yay!" said Lindsay as she reached out and hugged Rolf, "I knew I could count on you!"

Rolf smiled as he placed his arms around Lindsay, who rested her head on Rolf's shoulder. Lindsay, however displayed an expression of sadness as she held Rolf in an un-genuine embrace, staring at the wall behind Rolf as if she were in a trance herself.

"Our first true embrace," said Rolf in a soft manner, after which he suddenly raised the volume of his voice, "A celebration I say!"

Rolf let go of Lindsay, and made his way over toward her bed, upon which the blue jeans he had worn to the house sat neatly folded. He reached into his pocket, and retrieved a small wooden figurine. He cradled the object using both of his hands, attempting to conceal its identity as he walked back towards Lindsay's position with a genuine smile.

"For you, my lovely Schmetlockin," said Rolf has he dropped to his knees, outstretched his hands, and opened his palms to present the object to his "lover".

Lindsay was quite taken aback as she laid eyes on the gift Rolf had presented to her. Cradled in Rolf's palm was a hand-carved figurine made of balsa wood, around five inches tall. Even more shocking was the fact that the figurine was a perfectly-carved, miniature representation of Lindsay. The figure was perfect down to the last detail; each wave of her blonde hair was captured, as were her large golden earrings, and the small folds adorning her signature fur coat. It was obvious that Rolf was quite the skilled craftsman, and had spent a profound amount of time on his creation.

"Wow," said Lindsay as she placed her hand over her mouth, "You made this?"

"Rolf takes great pride in his skills as a wood widdler," said Rolf, "And with years of experience he has become quite well versed in the craft. Rolf offers his finest work, a culmination of a weeks worth of almost non-stop carving, as a token of his deep affections."

Lindsay took hold of Rolf's creation, holding it in her hands as she examined it with a melancholy expression. Her eyes began to water slightly as she refocused her eyes to Rolf, who remained on his knees, staring up towards Lindsay with a loving smile.

"You really like me, don't you?" asked Lindsay.

"Yes," said Rolf, "More than one can imaginably fathom."

Lindsay refocused her attention back to Rolf's gift, at which point she slowly made her way towards her bed. She sat down on it's edge, continuing to stare at the figure with sadness. Around two seconds passed, at which point a slight tear appeared in her eye.

Rolf took notice of Lindsay's apparent sadness, and decided to approach her.

"What's wrong my sweet Babushka?," said Rolf, "Do you not like?"

"No Rolf, it's not that." said Lindsay, "It's really amazing."

At that point, Lindsay turned her head upward locking her eyes with Rolf's.

"Rolf," said Lindsay, "Thank you so much for this, nobody has ever taken the time to do something like this for me. I just wanted to let you know in advance...that...I'm sorry..."

"Sorry?" asked Rolf, "Rolf does not understand."

Lindsay remained in a melancholy state for a few more seconds, after which she suddenly re-adopted her sultry grin; and rose back up to her feet.

"Sorry I didn't notice your collar is a little too high and needs to be adjusted," said Lindsay, "C'mon, let's get that off and get that fixed for you. There's no way you're gonna walk into a formal ball next to me in anything less than pristine condition."

As these events took place within the confines of Lindsay's bedroom, Jonny and Nazz remained at their post in the "Melon Tower", watching the situation unfold with utmost scrutiny. The blinds adorning Lindsay's bedroom window were currently closed, but were translucent enough to allow the light from within to shine through. Unfortunately, this had also allowed any shadows generated within to be projected onto the window as silhouettes

Due to the relative positions of the two adolescents in relation to Lindsay's lamp, Rolf's projection onto the closed blinds appeared short and stout, while Lindsay's remained unaltered. To the outside observer, it appeared as if Lindsay was removing an article of clothing off of Eddy, while simultaneously leaning in to deliver a passionate kiss.

Jonny pulled his eye away from the telescope, his jaw dropped out of disbelief. He slowly turned towards Nazz, who had lowered her binoculars in a similar fashion. Both teenagers glanced upon each other with a serious expression, at which point they shared a nod in agreement.