Chapter 59

The following day at school seemed to come and go in a flash, an easy prospect considering the fact that school had dismissed three hours earlier than usual. To makes things even more exciting for the students, it was the Friday leading into a week and a half long winter recess; and the sound of the afternoon bell signified freedom from the confines of the classroom until January.

The early dismissal was unplanned, the decision being made by the principal the previous day, after Eddy's unfortunate, accidental release of Double Dee's cockroaches. As typical of many schools on the last day prior to winter vacation, many teacher opted out of traditional lessons, holding pizza parties, and showing Christmas movies in celebration of the upcoming holiday. This fact, along with the decision to close school early made Eddy something of a freshman class celebrity in the eyes of his peers, (with the exception of Double Dee of course). Lee, while quite upset regarding her extensive and uncontrollable fear of cockroaches being exposed, found playful humor in Eddy's status as the "cool guy".

The final period at Peach Creek High School was known as "options" period, which was akin to a study hall period. Adding to the already bloated excitement of the student body, the principal had declared all students excused from options period, allowing all to pursue their own interests in lieu of sitting silently in a classroom.

The sun was shining brightly on this day, and although the temperature was still quite chilly, May had decided to utilize her free option period to practice her pitching skills on the softball field. She was joined by her oldest sister Lee, who had promised to assist her as a stand in catcher the previous night.

The two girls were currently walking down the hallway, on their way back to their lockers. May had traded her usual dual ponytails for a single tight ponytail, as she usually did when participating in a sporting event. In her right hand, she carried a white softball, as she cradled a standard mitt in her left hand. Lee had removed the catchers vest and mask, and was carrying the equipment under her right arm as she walked, her heels clicking with each step on the schools tile floor.

"Well, that was fun!" said May with a smile as she dropped her supplies on the floor and began the process of opening the locker.

"Yeah, I gotta admit," said Lee, "It was good to get out on the field for a while. I haven't caught for ya in a couple of weeks."

"So," said May as she opened the locker, "How did I do?"

"Well let's see," said Lee as she tossed the catchers supplies onto the floor, and leaned her back against the locker next to Mays, "You put it right in my glove every time I moved it to a different spot, so I guess your accuracy is on par."

"Okay," said May.

"And judging by the fact that my palm feels like it's been run over by an eighteen wheeler," said Lee in a sarcastic manner, "I'd say all those hand jobs you've been given Ed had been good exercise for that old arm of yours!"

Lee laughed heavily at her own joke, as May's normally fair face turned to a bright shade of red. She adopted an angry scowl as she leaned around her locker door to reply to her sister.

"That was just one time!," said May rather embarrassed by Lee's statement, "I got power in my pitches cause I practice all the time. Either way, the most me and Ed do is kiss, and even if we did anything else so what!?"

"Whoah take it easy!" said Lee, "I don't give a shit what you guys do, it was just a joke Little Miss Innocent Church Girl!"

Lee giggled once again as May angrily shoved her mitt into her locker, a slight grimace adorning her face. A few seconds passed, at which point both girls emotions died down, and Lee decided to bring the conversation to a more serious tone.

"But seriously," said Lee, "You kicked ass as always. You're gonna have no problem making the high school team, especially with the reputation ya built in middle school."

May leaned around the locker, briefly sharing a smile with her sister, after which she began to force the catchers equipment into the already crowded space.

"Well I might be able to strike these girls out on the mound," said May, "But that means nothing if I can't bat. Stupid automatic pitching machine, I've had no time to practice. These girls in the high school are the real deal, and I gotta be ready for anything!"

"You'll be fine, no matter what" said Lee, "You're related to me after all, so you got nothing to worry about!"

Lee laughed as May continued to shove her softball paraphernalia into her locker. After few attempts to compress the material, May angled her shoulder towards the compartment and charged toward the junk pile as if she were a battering ram, successfully flattening the material enough to close the locker door.

"Either way," said May, "Thanks a lot for helping me practice today. You may be a Scrooge, but you do come through when I need you!"

May winked playfully in Lee's direction as the two girls began walking toward the school exit doors, causing Lee to roll her eyes.

"Whatever Bucky," said Lee, "Just be glad I didn't have anything better to do this afternoon."

"Well if you want," said May, "It ain't too late to come to the park with us to play frisbee, everyone's waiting back at the cul-de-sac if you want to join us!"

"I'll pass," said Lee, "I got more important things to work on this afternoon, like writing my acceptance speech for when I win the winter ball crown tomorrow night."

"Geez," said May, "You sure are spending a lot of time worrying about this whole winter ball thing, and you don't even like to get dressed up. Are you sure this is all worth it, I mean shouldn't you think about moving on from..."

"Mind your business," said Lee in a rather stern manner, interrupting her little sister. May silenced herself for a few seconds, after which she decided to reply.

"Okay," said May, " Just don't let it turn ya into a humbug for the holiday season. Ya got real friends now that like you, even though you'll never admit you like them too, not to mention a boyfriend who really likes you and is probably cooking up something really good for you as a Christmas present. You should remember that and focus on what's important."

"Real friends huh," said Lee under her breath as she glanced toward the opposite wall, "No one in this place understands me like she did."

"What's that?" asked May, at which point Lee suddenly turned towards her, attempting to hide her thoughts she had inadvertently advertised out loud.

"I said, you've been talking to Marie haven't ya?" asked Lee.

May remained silent as she continued to glance toward Lee.

"Look," said Lee, "I know youse two are all bent outta shape thinking I forgot about Eddy, and this whole "our first Christmas together" bullshit. I got it all figured out, I just know how to set my priorities. The best thing anyone can do right now is just stay outta my business and let me do my thing. Got it?"

"Whatever," said May, "Don't get pissy with me just cause you can't see Eddy again tonight."

"Ain't no skin off my nose," said Lee, as the girls passed the intersection to a cross hall, "I have no idea where my little munchkins been going, but if he thinks he's got me fooled, he's got another thing coming. He's just lucky I know it's for a good cause."

At that point, the sound of a familiar girlish voice filled the air from behind the girls.

"My oh my, just as full of ourself as always, aren't we?"

Lee stopped in her tracks, her face adopting a scowl as her entire body seemed to tense up. May instantly froze in place as well, however her face transformed to that of fear and distress, as she knew that nothing good would come out of the catty exchange that was about to occur.

Both girls turned around, and came face to face with the familiar tall, thin frame of Lindsay Statorowski. The blonde girl displayed a conniving grin, as she leaned against the row of silver lockers lining the wall of the cross hall. She stood with her right leg crossed over her left, such that the brown, high heeled leather boot adorning her left foot was planted solidly on the floor, while the right was only making contact with the floor via the pointed toe. Her arms were folded, the sleeves of her slightly oversized signature fur coat laying over her hands, currently bundled up in a pair of blue designer gloves. Her ever so present purple handbag hung from her right shoulder, cradled at the level of her hip.

May watched as Lee slowly made her way towards Lindsay with a sly grin of her own.

"Well, well Little Miss Prissy Face," said Lee, "I haven't since ya since I kicked your ass in the school talent show. What's wrong, come to finally congratulate me?"

"Hardly," said Lindsay, "Any idiot can win a contest by flailing their arms around on stage and de-masculanating their boyfriend. News flash, the real competition is tomorrow night and this one is going to be all about looks and fashion, something you don't seem to understand."

"Says the girl with the same hairstyle she's had since kindergarten." said Lee, "You do realize the eighties were over before you were even born, don't ya? With the big hair, and those tacky bangs, I don't know if you're just behind the times, or trying to imitate that bratty bimbo from that mystery cartoon all the kids love."

"Hun please, she has nothing on me," said Lindsay, "Don't be jealous that KiltedEngineer put more effort into designing me than he did re-designing you. You're just a knockoff of some stupid washed up old guys work, I'm made from scratch!"

There was a slight pause, at which point all three girls appeared to adopt expressions of confusion. After a few seconds, Lee regained her composure and decided to retort.

"And by the way brainiac," said Lee, "The correct term is 'emasculate'. At least get the properly terminology before you insult my boyfriend for perfecting a difficult skill in record time. It's obvious that you don't know what it's like to have a man that really likes ya. Have you even ever had a steady boyfriend, or do the guys all leave once they realize whats really behind the pretty face?"

Lindsay snickered upon the completion of Lee's statement.

"Interesting that you mention boyfriend problems Geek Girl," said Lindsay as she placed both her feet on the ground and proceeded to walk towards Lee, "If I recall, yours hasn't been around much lately, has he? Even worse, you have no idea where he's been going every night. Sounds like it's you that has the boyfriend problem."

Lindsay leaned close into Lee's face with a sly grin.

"Doesn't it? asked Lindsay in a sarcastic manner.

"So what if he hasn't been around?"asked Lee, "It ain't none of your business what goes on in our relationship anyway, so why don't ya take your bullshit and piss off. The dance is tomorrow night, with the amount of makeup ya gotta put on, ya better start now if ya wanna be ready!"

Lee giggled sarcastically at her own joke, after which Lindsay began unzipping her handbag.

"Oh trust me," said Lindsay, "I believe in this case, your relationship problems are in fact my business. I figured that I'd at least be as civil as I can to a barbarian like you, and be the first to let you know that you're looking at the brand spanking new arm candy for Eddy McGee."

"Lindsay, get your head out your ass," said Lee, "Like Eddy would ever want to be with you, he doesn't even want to be in the same room as you."

"Don't be so sure," said Lindsay, "One of my friends happened to play a little prank on me yesterday afternoon at the mall. Where did you say Eddy was last night?"

"I don't know," said Lee, appearing slightly less confident in herself, "But he most certainly wasn't with you."

"Sorry I have to do this," said Lindsay as she shuffled though the contents of her handbag, "But here's some photographic evidence concerning the whereabouts of your boyfriend."

At that point, Lindsay removed a photograph from her handbag and held it out to Lee for viewing. Lee rolled her eyes, and snatched the photograph out of Lindsay's hand, repositioning it for adequate lighting and adjusting her glasses with her opposite hand for focus.

As May watched with outmost concern, biting her lower lip with her occluded top teeth, Lee's face transformed into a neutral expression. On the photograph was a close up of Lindsay, viewed such that only her upper torso and higher were visible. The picture depicted her leaning against the wall with her eyes closed, appearing to be sighing as she held her head up high. Her immense source of pleasure seemed to due to the fact that the area near her left jugular vein was being kissed by Eddy, whom she wrapped her arms around, digging her pink fingernails into the area of his hair.

In fact, Lindsay had used her tremendous sewing and crafting skills to create a life-sized dummy of the small Ed boy, complete with his easy to replicate hair line. Years of being forced into modeling had also taught her how to use lighting to her advantage in order to hide imperfections, and to generate false facsimiles. She had taken the dummy to the mall, dressed it in a replica of Eddy's winter sweater, and found her way into one of the girls bathroom stalls, where she could use the minimal and dull lighting to her advantage. To have the picture taken, she had requested the presence of one of her cheer squad minions at the mall. The girl, deathly afraid of the giant diva, easily complied and agreed to take the picture for Lindsay, the condition of course being that the girl said nothing to anybody about the situation, and "beat it" directly after the flash.

"Like what ya see?," asked Lindsay, "Looks like ya don't know Eddy as much as you thought after all."

Lee remained silent, as May began to display in ever increasing nervousness.

"Here," said Lindsay as she reached into her bag once again, "If the pictures too much for you to handle, perhaps a nice little momento given to me last night will cheer you up!"

At that point, Lindsay reached back into her hand bag and removed a colorful pair of men's underwear. She took the article of clothing in both her hands, stretching it out in front of her in an effort to mockingly display it to Lee. The garment was colored orange and peppered with several spots, characteristic of leopard skin; the same underwear that the Kankers had happened to discover during their raid of Eddy's room while on "holiday" two summers ago. Lindsay plan to use Rolf's naivety had come to fruition; after a successful fit up of his winter ball tuxedo, the boy discreetly raided Eddy's room and had located the most colorful pair of underwear he owned for presentation to Lindsay.

Lindsay watched as Lee stared at the underwear, remaining silent as her face displayed a neutral expression. As the blonde girl observed the bespectacled red head process the objects she had presented, she couldn't help but feel sorry for her former best friend. She had no true intentions to make the situation any uglier; the stunt was merely meant to frazzle Lee, and potentially throw off her game for the next few days, allowing her to claim the winter ball crown. However, imagining the repercussions she would face at the hands of Edyta if she did not win the prize seemed to instill a deep fear within the conflicted girl. Given the situation she was presented with, the benefits of exacerbating her conflict with Lee outweighed any potential risks associated with failure.

A few seconds passed, after which Lee discretely glanced upward toward an extremely frightened May. In an instant, Lee delivered a subtle wink to her little sister, a display that confused the pony-tailed Kanker girl. Lee's face suddenly turned a bright shade of red as she began furiously grinding her teeth.

"That conniving Little Shit!" yelled Lee at the top of her lungs, her voice seeming to emit a shock wave that traveled down the hallway, blowing both other girls hair back as if they were in a wind tunnel, "I can't believe he even had the balls to go behind my back and cheat on me, especially with some walking dumb blonde bimbo. spoiled rich girl stereotype!"

"Harsh," said Lindsay under her breath as if to comment on Lee's previous statement.

Lee glanced back down towards the photograph, remaining apparently infuriated as she squeezed it in her hand.

"There's one thing I know," said Lee, "Nobody makes a fool out of Annalee Kanker. I'll fix him good, he's gonna wish he kept his pecker in his pants, cause when I get through with him he ain't gonna have it anymore!"

At that point, Lee ripped the leopard skin underwear out of Lindsay's hands, and angrily shoved the article of clothing into her hand bag. She turned away from Lindsay and began stomping down the hallway in an apparent rage, marching toward the exit door as the heels of her boots placed new cracks in the tile floor with every step, causing miniature earthquakes in a cartoonish fashion.

May promptly gave chase to her older sister, jogging down the hallway in an effort to catch up to her. Upon reaching the exit, Lee slammed the doors open with force, an action which seemed to cause the entire building to shake, and disappeared out into the cold winter air.

Lindsay remained in her position for a few moments, observing the spring loaded closing mechanism slowly bring the door to the shut and latched position. She appeared to be deep in thought, her eyes quite glassy and conveying an overall appearance of sadness. After spending a few moments pondering the situation she had just created, she placed the strap of her hand bag over her shoulder and began making her way down the hallway towards the school exit, intent on following the girls.

Outside on the sidewalk, May had finally caught up to Lee and was preparing to take action in an attempt to calm the apparently infuriated girl down; a feat which she knew to be no easy task given past experience.

"Lee," said May as she ran up to Lee's side, "You don't really believe Eddy's cheating on you with Lindsay do you? Maybe you should think about this before you go ahead and yell at him."

May was quite surprised when Lee suddenly stopped and turned toward her with a sly grin, apparently heeding her advice. The redhead giggled slightly, as she began to explain herself.

"What do ya think I'm an idiot?" said Lee, "Of course I know Eddy ain't cheating on me."

May remained silent for a few moments, confused at the chain of events that just occurred, at which point Lee retrieved the scandalous photograph and held it out for May to see.

"She must think I'm brain dead if she expects me to believe this," said Lee, "One, I know the broad's an expert at sewing, and considering I've done a significant amount of sewing myself I can tell that that sweater is a mock up. Two, that shitty canvas she used is about two skin tones lighter than Eddy's, and there's one hair too many on his head. Three, I know from working in the store that Eddy was blacklisted, and banned from the mall for some idiotic stunt he pulled. And four, being an "Amazon woman" myself, I am aware that me and Lindsay are around the same height give or take. Given my experience gettin' lovey dovey with the little man, he can barely reach my tits with the top of his head without tippy toeing, let alone put a hickey on my neck. She obviously didn't do her research. As for the underwear, everybody and their mother knows Eddy wear leopard skin undies after he lost that bet with Marie's friends fool of a man, and had to model them in front of the schoolyard last month. Men are such morons sometimes...Anyway, she evidently bought a pair to try to get me riled up."

"Okay," said May, " But if you knew, then why'd you act all mad and stuff back there?"

"Look," said Lee, "This is obviously some lame attempt to either get me to back out of running for the winter ball queen, or to get me all spun up so I'm off my game on the night of the dance. Now that obviously ain't gonna happen, but that doesn't mean I can't have a little fun."

May continued to appear confused as Lee placed her hand on her shoulder.

"I'm gonna pull out a little bit of that reverse psychology junk and play into her game," said Lee, "We'll see who gets the last laugh."

Lee then removed the pair of underwear from her handbag, holding them up on display along with the photograph.

"On the flip side, I think I'm gonna play a little practical joke on Eddy as payback for the cockroach incident," said Lee, "I'll question him about these and where he's been goin' every night when we get back to the cul-de-sac, and watch the cute little nervous nellie squirm for a while. The little man cracks quick under pressure, and I guarantee he'll stumble over his words like an idiot and finally admit that he's hunting for my present."

"I don't know Lee," said May, "Are you sure that's a good idea."

"Trust me," said Lee, "I know both those two like a book, and messing with their heads is cake. The only difference is I lo...care for Eddy, while I could care less if Lanky Lori fell off the face of the earth."

Lee turned and began walking back towards the cul-de-sac.

"C'mon Big Butt," said Lee, "I ain't got all day, and I got an acceptance speech to write."

May remained still for a fe moments, after which she proceeded to follow in Lee's lead, all the while appearing quite concerned regarding Lee's plan.