Chapter 60

Back at the cul-de-sac, the core group of Rethink Avenue friends had gathered near the end of the street in preparation for their game of frisbee at the park. As they awaited the return of Lee and May, Double Dee and Marie had taken their place sitting on the curb in front of the Kankers house, watching Kevin, Ed and Eddy pass the frisbee back and forth in the middle of the street as they held hands.

The afternoon was a beautiful one; the sun was shining brightly and the temperatures had risen to the mid-fifties, about as great as the weather could get during the winter months and perfect for an outdoor excursion. As Double Dee observed a few clouds pass in front of the sun overhead, he decided to begin a conversation with Marie.

"What a beautiful day," said Double Dee, "I must say, the sight of our favorite G class star juxtaposed with those cumulus formations is quite inspiring."

"It sure is," said Marie, "The sky is one of the first things I ever learned how to paint with water colors, and it holds a special place in my heart."

Marie took her eyes off of the sky, and turned her attention towards Eddy, who was currently tossing the frisbee to Kevin.

"It's great to see Eddy joining us for a game, even if it is for only an hour," said Marie, "Lee won't admit it, but I think she really misses seeing Eddy. Maybe him being here will convince her to stop worrying about this winter ball and get out of the house for a change."

"Perhaps," said Double Dee, " I would be delighted to see everyone gathered together, whilst making wonderful memories. As much as I appreciate academia, I must admit that the prospect of winter recess is quite welcoming, as it will allow me to adequately rest my proverbial mental muscle and fully enjoy the joys of the holiday season."

"My thoughts exactly," said Marie, "I'm surprised Nazz isn't here yet, she's usually into anything to do with aerobic exercise. I guess with Julia being home and all, they decided to spend some time together before her next semester starts."

"While do wholeheartedly wish that Nazz could join us," said Double Dee, "I applaud her willingness to spend time with her sister around the holidays. Regardless, with the participation of all currently present in the cul-de-sac, May, Lee, and Rolf, we will be able to have even teams of four."

"Double Dee!" said Marie in a surprised manner, "You're going to play a sport with us?"

Double Dee sighed.

"Yes Marie," said Double Dee, "I have reluctantly decided to participate. I most definitely do not have anywhere near the talent displayed by Kevin and May when it comes to sports, but I believe that I can at least partake in the inevitable fun."

"Of course you can," said Marie, " I suck at sports, but that doesn't stop me from enjoying them. It's all about having fun with friends."

Double Dee and Marie shared a brief smile, at which point Double Dee noticed a shadow being cast over him from behind. The ski-capped boy promptly turned to determine the source of the solar occlusion, and upon glancing upward came face-to-face with his foreign friend Rolf. The boy seemed quite complacent, smiling happily as he proceeded to take a seat on the curb next to Double Dee, twirling his thumbs on his knees as he admired the scenery.

"Greetings Rolf," said Double Dee, "You seem quite the exuberant fellow today. I suppose you are just as excited for the start of winter recess as the remainder of the town?"

"Hoho," said Rolf, " For once you are wrong head-full-of-brains Ed boy, for Rolf's knickers are loose for something much better."

"Pardon my questioning, but would you care to share?" asked Double Dee.

"Not at all Ed boy," said Rolf, "Rolf is pleased to announce that he has taken part in what your culture would refer to as a first date."

"A first date?" asked Double Dee, "Rolf, I had no idea that you were courting a female companion. Well, other than Lindsay of course, but we all know how tha..."

"Wrong again Ed boy," said Rolf, interrupting Double Dee's response, "For Rolf has successfully completed the courting phase and has taken the Sweet Lindsay girl as his lover."

Double Dee glanced back towards Marie, both teenagers sharing an expression of confusion, after which Double Dee turned back towards his eccentric friend.

"A date?," asked Double Dee, "With Lindsay?"

"Yes!" yelled Rolf as he stood up off of the curb, simultaneously elevating the volume of his voice for all to hear, "Let it be known that Rolf has found love, in the form of a beautiful golden haired angel. With a simple demonstration of Rolf's affections, his sweet Babushka has declared her deepest affections for this son-of-a-Shepard, consumated with a great feast, and an invitation to your hoe down hootinanny set to take place on the eve of tommorow."

Rolf's outpour of joy managed to capture the attention of the entire block. Ed, Eddy, and Kevin had paused their frisbee toss, and had all turned their heads in Rolf's direction whilst sharing perplexed expressions. Adjacent to Rolf, Double Dee and Marie remained confused as well, with Double Dee pondering Rolf's words rather carefully.

"Dinner and an invite to the dance?" asked Double Dee, as he leaned towards Marie's ear, "You don't think Lindsay would actually accept Rolf's advances do you?"

"Nah," said Marie, "That stuck up bimbo would never even step foot near him. He's probably just a little delusional from seeing her earlier today. He has been known to tell crazy stories, hasn't he?"

"That is a true statement," said Double Dee, "Rolf does have a tendency to tell bizarre and rather outrageous stories. However, while it may seem farfetched, I have a strange intuition that something is about to go wrong."

"Calm down sweetie," said Marie, "Everything's perfectly fine, Rolf's acting no more weird than he usually does! Keep positive with that attitude you had last night at the parade, and no more worrying, k'?"

Marie leaned in, delivering Double Dee a kiss on the cheek, at which point the sound of her cell phone receiving a text message filled the air. She removed her phone, and began to read the text, as a sly grin appeared on her face; the message was in fact from May, warning her of the forthcoming prank, and to be sure to play along with it. As Marie responded to her sister in silence, Double Dee continued to stare in the direction of his house with an expression of concern.

Out in the street, the three boys decided to resume their frisbee toss, as Eddy opened up a new conversation.

"Man, Rolfie Boy's still tryin' to get a piece of that pie," said Eddy, "I gotta hand it to him, he's got the grit."

"Tell me about it," said Kevin, "He came barging in to my room last night while I was working out, asking to borrow my cologne and a dress shirt, I guess to try to impress that Lindsay girl. I'm tired of hearing about her man, I got Nazz telling me how much she hates her over and over again, and now I got Rolf telling me how much he loves her. It makes me sick."

"Quit acting like you got it bad Shovel Chin," said Eddy, "My girl's the one on the front lines with the spoiled brat. I wish Lee would just punch her upside the head like she would anyone else and be done with it. Lord only knows what the hells holding her back."

Eddy turned, and flicked the frisbee in the direction of Kevin, who made the jumping catch with no problem.

"The good news is the winter ball's tomorrow," said Eddy, "I'll do my best to help Lee win, and then hopefully she can stop thinking about Lindsay and just enjoy Christmas. I worry about her sometimes when it comes to this big cat fight."

"Yeah," said Kevin, "Hopefully you picked up something good for her for Christmas. That should take her mind off of this."

"Trust me," said Eddy with a sly grin, "I've been working on something special alright. It's gonna win us the winter ball, and most importantly make Lee happy. Let's just say that after tonight, Eddy McGee will be on Easy Street."

At the conclusion of Eddy's statement, a large shock wave seemed to resonate down Rethink Avenue towards his position. The shock wave carried a deep, city accented female voice; a particular tough talking accent that Eddy had not heard in over six months, and one that he had learned to fear.

"Eddy McGee!" yelled Lee, "Your mistress wants to have a little chat with ya!"

Eddy, receiving the full brunt of the shock wave, remained standing in the center of the street. Due to the blast coming from behind him, his three hairs had been blown over his head, and were currently resting over his eyes. As Kevin and Ed backed away from his position, trembling in fear, Eddy slowly but surely turned around toward the inlet of the street, a nervous expression adorning his face.

As he turned, he came face to face with Lee, standing in the center of the street with her fists clenched to her sides. Her face was a bright shade of red, and she was grinding her teeth ferociously. As she locked eyes with Eddy, she began marching down the street, the pointed tips of her heels emanating a solid click with every step.

In a flash Lee had made her way to Eddy's position, and seized the small Ed boy by the collar of his shirt. In a state of panic, Eddy began to speak.

"H...hey..Lee," said Eddy as sweat began pouring down his face, "What's up, did I do something wrong?"

"Can it shrimp!" yelled Lee, "Don't play dumb, I know what you've been doing behind my back for the last couple weeks and let me tell you, I ain't gonna go for it one bit!"

As the false confrontation unfolded in front of the crowd, May had discretely made her way over towards Marie's position, the two girls sharing giggles. Ed, upon spotting his Little May, decided to slowly mosey toward the end of the street to greet her. His distress regarding the situation quickly disappeared as May whispered the plan into his ear, causing to emit a dopey giggle.

Unbeknownst to the denizens of the cul-de-sac, Lindsay had discreetly followed the two girls home. She took great care not to be noticed, choosing to hide behind the wooden fence separating the Kankers yard from the curb of the cross street. She peered her head around, observing and listening to the events unfold with a melancholy stare.

Back in the center of the street, Eddy finally decided to reply.

"Lee, I don't understand," asked Eddy, "Is this over the cockroaches?"

Lee leaned into Eddy's face with an angry scowl.

"The only cockroach around here is you lover boy," said Lee as she reached into her handbag, "Do these look familiar to you!?"

At that point Lee pulled out Eddy's leopard skin undies, brandishing them for Eddy to see.

"What the hell!?" yelled Eddy as he grabbed the underwear off of Lee, and proceeded to shove them into his pocket. He leaned towards Lee, lowering his voice as his face turned red with embarrassment, "What are ya trying to do, embarrass me all over again just like last fall?"

"As a matter of fact I am!" yelled Lee, "Just like you embarrassed me by doing this!"

Lee removed the doctored photograph provided by Lindsay earlier that afternoon, and proceeded to shove it into Eddy's face. Eddy took hold of the photograph with both of his hands, at which point the boy entered a state of distress.

"Aaaah," yelled Eddy, "What the hell is this?"

"Let's see," said Lee, "It looks like you being caught red-handed banging Lindsay Statorowski against the wall of a toilet stall!"

"You gotta be kiddin me!" yelled Eddy, "This ain't me, there's no way it could be me!"

"They say a picture's worth a thousand words," said Lee, "Is this what you've been doing every night when you say you can't hang out with us?"

Eddy remained silent for a few moments, his face red with fright as he struggled to hold in his thoughts. At that point, Double Dee, oblivious to the fact that a prank was in execution, decided to interject.

"Now wait just a minute Lee," said Double Dee, "I can confirm that Ed..."

Double Dee was suddenly silenced by Marie, who had placed her right hand over his mouth. She promptly grabbed Double Dee's shoulder with her opposite hand, turning him toward her.

"Don't worry" said Marie, "It's a joke. Lee knows what she's doing, and she ain't gonna keep it up for too much longer. Just a little pay back for what happened in the cafeteria yesterday!"

Double stared at Marie for a few seconds, after which he sighed and turned back towards the action.

Lee continued to request an answer from Eddy regarding the apparent "affair". She could hardly resist cracking up as she watched Eddy sputter, attempting to come up with a response.

"No, I...um," said Eddy as beads of sweat ran down his face.

Suddenly, the shrill voice of Rolf rang through air.

"Ed Boy!" yelled Rolf as he began walking towards Eddy, lifting the sleeves of his shirt to expose his relatively defined biceps, "What is this tomfoolery? Do you betray Rolf by betroving yourself to Rolf's sweet Babushka? Rolf's honor has been shamed, and you, snake in the grass Ed boy must pay! Another duel I say!"

Lee chuckled slightly under her breath as she observed Rolf make his way towards Eddy. The sight of Rolf charging across the cul-de-sac, angry at the misunderstanding resulting from her practical joke, made her realize that enough was enough. The slim redhead, while mischievous, had no intention of driving a wedge between friends, nor herself and Eddy.

However, just as Lee was about to restrain Rolf and tell Eddy the truth, the sound of yet another high pitched voice filled the air, seeming to come from above.

"Don't worry yourself citizen Lee!" yelled the voice of Jonny, "The Melon Squad has your back, and is ready to expose the truth as to what citizen Eddy has really been doing."

At that point Jonny, dressed as Captain Melonhead swung downward from the apple tree located in Double Dee's yard, using a rope attached to one of the higher branches. Likewise, with perfect synchronization, Nazz (dressed as Harlequin Honeydew), jumped from her position standing on one of the branches of the walnut tree planted in the Kankers yard, and swung downward toward the middle of the street. The two "superheroes" dismounted their ropes simultaneously, and stuck their landings, with Jonny standing with his hands on his hips and chest puffed out as many superheroes did, and Nazz standing with her arms folded, and her hips relaxed to the right.

The entire cul-de-sac was quite surprised at the display. While, the kids had grown quite accustomed to Jonny's alter-ego as Captain Melonhead, the neighborhood was quite shocked to see the new female addition to the crime fighting team.

As the two remained locked their poses, Double Dee decided to comment on the situation.

"My word," said Double Dee, "Is that Nazz?"

"It is..." said Marie, "What the hell is she doing?"

Double Dee and Marie weren't the only individuals surprised to see Nazz. From his position standing near the large tree, Kevin emitted an exaggerated laugh while holding his stomach, and pointing in Nazz's direction with his opposite hand.

"Nice costume Nazz!," said Kevin in a playful manner, "Didn't realize you joined the dork parade!"

Kevin continued laughing as Nazz's face turned slightly red with embarrassment, due to forgetting that she was dressed as Harlequin Honeydew in front of the entire neighborhood. At the same time, she appeared slightly irritated due to the irony of the fact that the whole point of her agreeing to be Jonny's sidekick was to protect Kevin's Christmas surprise. Nevertheless, she shook off her feelings, and returned to the task at hand.

In the center of the street, Lee had turned her head around to face the duo, her right hand continuing to grip the extremely nervous Eddy' s collar as she stared at the pair with an expression of confusion.

"What the hell are youse two supposed to be?" asked Lee in a sarcastic manner.

"I suppose introductions are in order," said Jonny as he struck a new pose, "I am truth, I am honor, I am..."

Slightly embarrassed by Jonny's antics, Nazz silenced him in a stern and serious manner.

"Not important," said Nazz as she began walking towards Lee, "What is important is that you know what's really been going on with your so-called boyfriend."

Lee slowly lowered Eddy to the ground, relieving pressure from his collar and allowing the stout boy to catch his breath. She turned toward Nazz with a sarcastic stare.

"Look," said Lee, "I don't know what the hell kind of idiotic game you guys are playin', but before you two fruit loops blow a gasket, let me make one thing clear. I know Eddy ain't doin' nothing behind my back, this is all just a little bit of playful payback..."

Lee was unable to complete her sentence, as she was interrupted by Jonny who had jumped in front of Nazz to convey his own point.

"I regret to inform you that you are wrong citizen Lee," said Jonny, "Over the last week, Harlequin Honeydew and I have been observing Mr. McGee, and have compiled substantial evidence of his affair with Ms. Statorowski. Please allow Splinter to present the evidence."

At that point, Jonny brandished the suction cup end of a toilet plunger in the direction of Lee. The melon-headed boy had taped Plank to the business end of the plunger, and had dressed him in his "Splinter the Wonderwood" costume. However, in addition to donning his typical superhero attire, Plank had also been adorned with several photographs, strategically taped to his wooden body in the manner of a collage.

Lindsay continued to observe the events from afar, peeking around the fence with a neutral expression as Lee observed the photographs mounted on Plank. Almost instantly, Lee's emotional state transformed from that of a calm, collected individual to one that seemed to convey true distress. The photographs depicted almost every action taken by Eddy during the time he was "assisting" Rolf with courting Lindsay, including but not limited to his delivery of the note to Lindsay's window via dart gun, and the delivery of several other notes and presents to Lindsay's cheer locker.

"We also have this!" said Nazz as she held a piece of paper out to Lee, "Here's one of the notes the jerk wrote to Lindsay behind your back. I found it on the floor next to her locker, guess he forgot to tape it up right?"

The remainder of the cul-de-sac watched in silence as Lee removed the photographs one-by-one, examining them in her hands while simultaneously glancing over the letter provided by Nazz. A few seconds was all it took for Lee to recognize Eddy's characteristic handwriting, at which point she turned back towards her stout boyfriend.

"This was originally intended to be a prank," said Lee in a calm, yet agitated voice. She then held the letter up to Eddy's face while displaying a sarcastic smile, "But now, it looks like we actually have something to talk about."