Chapter 16: You Know, You Worry Too Much
I know that I am breathing in, I know that I am breathing out…I know I am present in this moment, this is a precious moment…when I breathe in I am clearing my body and my mind, when I breathe out I…I…
Mindy couldn't bring herself to smile though.
How could she when the fate of the world rested on her wimpy shoulders?
Knowing that she had to do it sooner or later, she removed her head from her knees to get more oxygen in her system….she was immediately taken aback by the sight laid out before her.
When she had fled The Study, she'd had no idea where she was going. All she knew was that she needed to be alone so that no one could see how much of a sniveling disaster she'd become in the span of just three seconds.
To her puzzlement, she found herself huddled behind a potted plant with her legs nearly dangling over the edge of the highest balcony in the tower. As Mindy expected, the view was incredible. Each of the stars sparkled a different hue, and were somehow able to flawlessly blend together to look like a million rainbows dancing across the stunning ethereal sky.
It left her absolutely speechless, and made her temporarily forget the reason for her tears.
Mindy didn't bother to question why being on the precipice of such a high structure didn't frighten her…she already had a plethora of other things to be very, very, VERY frightened about at the moment.
Like the fact that she had been tasked with what was essentially saving the world.
This is crazy. She mused as she searched for something to wipe her nose with to no avail. Is this what all my teachers meant when they told me that when I turned eighteen the world would dump all of its troubles on me? If so, then I didn't sign up for this! I didn't beg the universe to give me this responsibility! How did they expect me to react?! Gee guys, I'm soooo excited to fight head-to-head with the being who's trying to drain me of my personality! I know I'm not a kid anymore, but just because I'm an adult now doesn't mean that-
"-I had a feeling you'd be up here."
Mindy was too physically drained to even bother flinching this time, "How did you know?"
"You always used to come here whenever you were upset."
Jiminy Cricket hopped onto her shoulder. When he noticed how much she was sniffling, he reached into his vest pocket and handed her a miniature handkerchief. She nodded in thanks as she wiped her eyes and blew into it.
For a while, there was a heavy silence.
"You know." Jiminy eventually said, "You worry too much."
Mindy turned to give him a disbelieving stare, "I don't know what they taught you in Disney Academy or wherever the heck you went to school (if you even went to school) but where I'm from people tend to freak out because of things they don't understand like talking crickets, saving the world, diversity-"
"-I know how you feel."
She quirked a brow, "Do you?"
"I didn't think I was that special when I was first starting out either." Jiminy admitted, "Just a cricket wandering from hearth to hearth only focused on getting a good meal and a roof over my head. I didn't expect to become Pinocchio's conscience ya know, I-I only accepted cause…well hehe cause-"
"-You're a sucker for a pair of goo-goo eyes?"
He snapped his head towards her with reddened cheeks, "What?"
"The Blue Fairy." Mindy giggled, "You like her."
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Jiminy looked away as he rocked back-and-forth on his heels and tugged on his collar, "Anyhow, back to what I was saying... I had no idea what I was doing my first few days as a conscience. One of the things I distinctly remember about you is that you are a natural perfectionist. You think that because this responsibility has been placed on you, that we expect you to have all of the answers. You think that-that we believe you to be a savior of some sort...the perfect Disney heroine. But I'll tell you something, I strove not for perfection, but for progression. And I think you should do the same."
Mindy's eyes widened slightly at this statement, causing his head to tilt.
"What is it?"
"Nothing…I just didn't expect you to give such sound advice." She said in embarrassment, "I know you're a conscience but where did you learn all this? Breathing exercises and insightful sayings I mean. Also, what the curse word are you doing in Fantasia Gardens? Shouldn't you be in Italy right about now?"
"Well, when you first arrived in The Dremesphere all those years ago you were assigned to me as my next client in this whole conscience business so naturally I'd stick by your side no matter what! Oh, and as for your second question, part of the criteria to become an official conscience involves earning your Doctorate in Psychology." Jiminy explained as he withdrew a piece of parchment from his vest pocket and showed it to her, "See?"
Mindy couldn't help but crack a smile at the tiny diploma:
Walter E. Disney University.
Upon recommendation of the faculty and the authority of the council of trustees hereby confers upon Jiminy A. Cricket the degree of Doctorate in Psychology and with all the Rights, Privileges, Honors, and Responsibilities thereunto appertaining.
In testimony thereof, we have subscribed our names on the 29th day of October 1990.
The bottom had been signed by Deputy Chancellor: Milo J. Thatch and Secretary of Board: Mortimer T. Mouse.
"Wow, I wasn't that far off." She pointed to the middle initial in Jiminy's name, "What does the A stand for?"
"Oh." He flushed profusely, "Archie…I know, I know, silly huh?"
"Eh, it's better than my full name." Mindy shrugged, "Melinda Maye Singh…it would sound poetic if I actually did sing."
"I know you don't remember, but you used to…a lot."
"Was I any good?"
"Yes."
"You hesitated."
Jiminy tried to maintain his composure…then he wheezed, "You were terrible."
"Still am." Mindy chuckled along with him, "Let's just say that watching Disney movies with my friends was absolute torture for them because I wouldn't stop quoting the entire movie by memory including singing the songs along with the characters."
"I can only imagine…do you still remember my song?"
"How could I forget?" She inquired, "It's practically the Disney National Anthem."
"That's because it is our anthem." Jiminy said with all seriousness, "And you wanna know what it means?"
Mindy bit her lip, "Um…when you wish upon a star your dreams come true?"
"Not necessarily…ooh I should've been more specific." The conscience muttered as he scratched the back of his neck, "Yes, that is what the lyrics of the song are. But you shouldn't take those words literally…I honestly have no idea what Leigh Harline and Ned Washington were even thinking to teach children when they were writing that song. Some kids took those words so literally that they sat around not doing anything for the rest of their lives, hoping and praying with all their hearts that the wishing star would solve all their problems. I don't want you to go thinking that we plopped all of our problems on you, believing you to be our wishing star. Mindy, you're not going to face the challenges ahead by yourself. You've got me, Dakota, Peter, Tinkerbell, and all of The Lost Boys to help you every step of the way. And that's the key word here. Steps. It's okay if you don't have all of the answers yet. You just have to take everything one step at a time."
"Progression and not perfection." Mindy repeated softly before she brought her legs in and crossed them over each other, "Can I be honest with you?"
"Well your nose hasn't grown an inch, so I'm going out on a limb and assuming that you've been honest with me throughout this whole conversation."
Jiminy was rewarded with another laugh, "I really didn't want to go back to Mulberry County yet. It's always been a secret fantasy of mine to travel through the Disney movies, and everything here is far more colorful in comparison to the Real World. Every day there feels like a carbon copy of the day before, and if I did go back I would spend the rest of my life wondering what kind of person I used to be…not to mention lose the rest of my personality…I'm glad-no, relieved that I have an excuse to stay."
"And I'm relieved that you're choosing to stay."
"But we have to let Dakota go home if he wants to." Mindy insisted, "I don't want to force him into this…if anything happened to him, I-I don't know if I'd ever forgive myself."
Jiminy nodded, "It's only fair."
For a while they sat in a comfortably quiet state.
Then, a sudden thought popped into Mindy's head.
She held her hands out in front of her with her palms up as she stuck out her tongue in concentration. Sweat beaded down her forehead and her arms trembled for a few agonizingly long seconds.
She was about to give up, when sparks of shimmering silver magic erupted from her fingertips.
With a prominent poof, a blank leather-bound notebook appeared in her hands.
It looked like something out of a Dr. Seuss illustration with jagged zig-zagged edges, and an overall wonky feel. But when Mindy flipped through it, everything appeared to be functional (except for the fact that the lines inside were squiggly and inconsistent but she could work around that). Despite the notebook's imperfections, she was squealing with glee that she'd even managed to summon an object out of thin air.
Creating a pencil to go with it took a lot more effort though.
It was extremely difficult for Mindy to imagine just what kind of pencil she wanted.
Did she want a number two pencil, a mechanical pencil, a quill, or even one of those pens with multiple levers you could pull to get multiple colors? Speaking of colors, if she wanted a quill, what color would the feather be? White? Rainbow? Teal? At one point she even pictured an ugly misshapen crayon on accident.
What she ended up with was a culmination of all of those whirring thoughts, a Franken-pen if you will.
It had the lead of a mechanical pencil, the body of a number two pencil, and a white/rainbow/teal colored feather attached at the top of it. When Mindy tried writing with it on the first notebook page, the ink was green. When she lifted it to write the second letter of the word she was jotting down, the color automatically switched to pink.
Simultaneously, Mindy and Jiminy looked at each other and guffawed uproariously.
"You'll get the hang of it, don't you worry about a thing." The cricket assured her whilst wiping a tear from his eye, "So what are you planning to do with those?"
"I'm gonna chronicle my adventures here so that I never forget you guys again." She declared, "But I'm not gonna lie, I'm mainly doing this so that I can offset the guilt of not being able to meet my deadline for the college essay I'm constructing in my creative writing class."
"Good thinking." Jiminy paused before saying, "I think you're too hard on yourself…you've been back for two days now and you've already accomplished so many things…you'll make it here just fine, you'll see."
Mindy giggled at the hilarity of it all which caused her butt to hover an inch off the ground.
If someone had sat down and told her two days ago that she was a princess from another dimension who had to rediscover her fragmented past in order to save the Disney characters from a monstrous tyrant, she would have called them mental. Yet here she was, going on a seemingly impossible quest throughout the Disney-verse to do just that. On one hand, she was nervous for the wicked villains they would encounter, and the life-threatening situations they would end up in. On the other hand, she couldn't wait for the spectacular places they were going to visit, and the long-lost friends they would meet along the way.
There was an immense amount of crippling self-doubt and anxiety within her, but Mindy refused to acknowledge their presence. This was the world she had chosen to bring into existence, and it was her duty to protect its inhabitants whether she liked it or not.
To ease her nerves, she hummed a bit of "When You Wish Upon a Star" as she started to write in her notebook: Chapter 1: Another Day, Another Dip in the Sea of Ignorance…
