I do not own Rookie Blue or any of the characters…
Apologies for taking so long to update. Starting a new job and having to learn all sorts of new things is fun but exhausting. I haven't had the headspace or time to write, especially as I'm doing quite a bit of writing and research in the new job. Most nights, I write two lines and fall asleep…which means this chapter may be a little disjointed.
For those reading Elusive as well, I'll update it next, hopefully a little faster!
Thanks as always for your responses, for following and favorting. I so love getting your reviews and hearing what you think.
To the guest who asked about the connection between Fiona Vincent and Francine, reference is made to it in this chapter but Fiona investigated Francine's complaint against Gail and stopped Francine when she was stalking Holly in 15's car park. She also uncovered information about the malpractice suit against Francine back in the US. She's actually helping Gail but Gail doesn't quite see it that way because of course Elaine is involved.
Apologies for mistakes. Hope you enjoy.
…..
The kitchen was getting crowded. Frankie was there, as were Chloe and Dov. At some point Fiona Vincent turned up with Lisa in tow, and then Alannah came over to see if Holly and Gail were okay. She was a worrier, just like Holly, Gail realized. She wondered how that sat with Frankie. Chris and Anna Robinson stood by the door, hands loosely behind their backs, not quite able to relax the police stance. Occasionally their radios would burst to life with messages from dispatch. Rodney had been and gone, taking the photos with him and dusting the refrigerator for fingerprints.
When Gail called Frankie after discovering the mutilated photographs, the detective told her to sit tight and wait for the uniforms to do a sweep of the house. Gail decided to take that as friendly advice rather than an order. After Frankie rang off, she selected a gun from the gun safe and searched her home from top to bottom.
'As if,' Gail muttered, 'if Francine's still here, I'm not waiting around for the uniforms.'
Holly went with Gail. She didn't say much as they moved from room to room, and Gail felt a pang at how rattled Holly was. There was no sign of Francine of course. Gail hadn't expected to find her. Still, the search seemed to reassure Holly. Back downstairs, she retrieved her forensic kit from where she'd stowed it by the front door.
'What are you doing with that?' Gail asked.
'Dusting for fingerprints. Unless she was wearing gloves, Francine's prints will be all over the photos and possibly the refrigerator.'
'Holly,' Gail made a sympathetic face, 'someone from your office can do that.'
'But,' Holly began.
'It wouldn't hold up in court —we're the victims here, we can't collect evidence.'
'Victims,' Holly said quietly and then blew out a breath, 'I don't see myself as a victim.'
Before Gail could reply, Frankie was knocking on the front door much more forcefully than she needed to, in Gail's opinion anyway.
'Alight, alright, hold on,' she grumbled as the knocking continued. Yanking open the door, Gail noticed a squad car had pulled up and Anna Robinson and Chris were getting out of it.
'I've scoured the house,' Gail said by way of greeting Frankie, 'no Francine, so you're wasting Chris and Anna's time.' She nodded in the direction of the two officers. .
'Humour me Peck,' Frankie said and Gail scowled.
'You two okay,' Chris asked Gail and Holly as he came into the house. He looked very much like he wanted to sweep Gail up in a bear hug, but was too well trained to give into that impulse, in fact knew from bitter experience the consequences of such behaviour. Instead, he hovered next to Gail, shuffling his feet awkwardly, the action accentuating his large frame.
'Dandy,' Gail replied sarcastically, 'and don't try and touch me.'
'Do you think it was Francine or,' Chris trailed off, faltering under Gail's gaze.
'Well yeah,' Gail snapped, her tone and expression making it clear she thought the question stupid, 'just how many psychos do you think are after Holly and me.'
'It's not, I didn't mean,' Chris stammered and swallowed.
He looked like a kicked puppy and Gail felt bad for snapping at him. She knew he cared. In fact, Gail was fairly certain Chris would do just about anything for her. She had a flash of that time Ford was targeting 15 and Chris had reassured Steve he had Gail's back. 'Always have, always will,' he said like he meant it. The way Frank had spoken to them, it was a rallying cry as if they were going into battle. Holly's appearance—her wanting to lay eyes on Gail, to take a few minutes—had only intensified that dread sense, like Holly was making that last desperate goodbye before Gail headed into war.
Gail should have realized then from the way you could read Holly's anxiety like it was a neon sign on her forehead how much she cared. Gail wasn't used to mattering so much to anyone. The intensity and unfamiliarity of it had momentarily disconcerted her, particularly coming mere hours after she and Holly had kissed in the interrogation room. And Gail couldn't afford to be distracted by it, couldn't allow people like Chris, who she thought knew nothing of her feelings for Holly, to be distracted by it. She had to focus on the task ahead.
It hadn't occurred to Gail that Holly might interpret her distance as a reluctance to publicly admit they were becoming a thing, or think Gail might regret kissing her, overwhelmed by the enormity of falling for a woman, because none of those things were true. If anything overwhelmed Gail, it was the depth of Holly's concern. Holly later confessed that after leaving the station she was racked by worry she'd been too clingy. But having finally acted on their attraction—no it was more than attraction, on the ridiculously strong pull between them—Holly feared she may never see Gail again. Like a soldier headed off for war. It was a reasonable fear. There was, after all, a maniac on the loose, literally gunning for 15.
Gail had read that in war and times of extreme crisis, people often behaved out of character, were rash even, the social disruption making them less constrained by convention or indeed expectations. Why not be daring and impulsive because who knew if you'd be alive tomorrow. It was like a licence to take risks. Is that why she'd kissed Holly? Did she take the licence the situation gave her? Who was she kidding? No matter what happened that day, Gail couldn't have not kissed Holly.
Kissing Holly was a moment of such joy. It had transcended everything Gail had endured that morning and had still to go back out and face again. As the kisses intensified, as Gail found herself pushing Holly against the wall in the interrogation room so their bodies where almost flush, the want Gail felt was unlike anything she had ever experienced. She knew, perhaps as she had always known deep down, that it would be impossible not to act on this desire. Part of her had wanted to stay in that dim, airless room kissing Holly—to forget that Ford was out there picking off her friends from 15, to forget that Chloe lay in the hospital, to forget that, yeah, she was a police officer sworn to protect and serve, and to just remain with Holly, doing what for the first time in her life felt completely right.
Something though—duty, loyalty, training, all three in fact—made Gail pull away from Holly and leave the room with promises to call when it was all over. Still, she felt dazed by the revelations the encounter had brought, and by the surreality of it, the euphoria of that stolen moment such a strange counterbalance to the terror of that day. As Gail emerged into the corridor, straightening her uniform in an attempt to regain her composure, it was like something profound had shifted in her. She was certain Oliver could see it written all over her face, that transformation so intense it surely must have manifested in her appearance.
Now standing in the entranceway of her house, she felt Holly's hand on her the small of her back, just a light touch but reassuring none the less. 'Be nice to Chris,' Holly murmured, 'he cares.'
Gail bit her lip. She was about to say something about how that didn't mean she had to put up with Chis's stupidity but stopped herself and instead nodded in acquiescence. Perhaps she should apologise to Chris, except saying sorry wasn't something she generally did. Maybe she could say something to soften the bite in her words. Before Gail could decide what to do, Chloe was barrelling through the door, Dov at her heels. Unlike Chris, Chloe disregarded Gail's notorious dislike of being touched and launched herself at Gail, hugging her tightly, so much so Gail began to feel smothered. She went rigid and sucked in her breath.
'Ah, Chloe,' Holly said.
'Oh yes, right,' Chloe released Gail and took a step back, 'oh god Gail this is terrible. We locked the door when we left. I made Dov double check.'
'So how did Francine get in?' Frankie asked.
'You're assuming it is Francine?' Dov asked.
'For now,' Frankie answered, 'seems most likely.'
'It could be my fault,' Dov grimaced, 'I propped the door so I didn't have to keep opening it every time I carried a box to the car. Chloe was sorting through some stuff she hadn't gotten around to packing so I was doing it on my own. The door was probably only open for ten minutes or so.'
'But Francine could have slipped in, in that time,' Frankie sighed.
'I guess,' Dov agreed, 'I didn't see anyone.'
'It means she's watching the house,' Gail said, reaching for Holly's hand, knowing this would be far from welcome news. Just as she expected, Holly stiffened as Gail spoke.
A second search of the house had proved fruitless. Just as Gail said it would. Dov and Chloe went with Chris and Anna to check the street and surrounding neighbourhood. By the time they returned, the kitchen was full of people. Gail had started scrubbing the powder off the refrigerator. Holly excused herself to go shower. If she had looked tired when she arrived home, Holly now seemed utterly exhausted, her shoulders slumped and her mouth draw in an uncharacteristically grim line.
Eventually, Chris and Anna left to respond to another call. Chloe and Dov followed soon after. They had offered to stay the night but Gail screwed up her face and said 'We don't need baby sitting.'
'Too bad Peck,' Frankie said, 'I brought my overnight bag.'
'Eww Frankie, you do know Holly and I aren't into threesomes,' Gail drawled, and then nodded in Alannah's direction, 'anyway what would your girlfriend think.'
Frankie coloured. Ah, so still uncomfortable with the girlfriend tag, Gail thought. Jesus, Frankie really needed to get over herself. Alannah noticed it too. Gail could tell by the way her face went suddenly still, as if she were trying not to show how she really felt. Gail wanted to kick Frankie. All that talk of being on probation and she couldn't even stomach the world girlfriend. If she wasn't careful, Frankie was going to fuck it all up again. The sooner she and Alannah had couple's counselling the better. There was an awkward silence which Frankie eventually and not very successfully covered by asking Fiona Vincent to step out into the living room, presumably to talk about Francine.
'No offence Fiona, but why are you even here?' Gail asked the staff sergeant before she went after Frankie. 'I mean, aren't internal investigations your thing?'
'I have a bit of latitude,' Fiona hedged.
'Oh you mean my mother,' Gail said with seeming insouciance, 'she put you up to this.'
'It's logical I take an interest,' Fiona said evenly, 'this began when Francine Hart lodged a complaint against you. It is as much my job to ensure officers can carry out their work without mischievous interference as it is to make sure they play by the rules.'
'Uh huh,' Gail said, not sounding entirely convinced. You keep saying that and you might eventually believe it, Fiona, she thought to herself. It was well known the Professional Standards Investigative Unit was more about rooting out crooked cops than saving scalps. She was tempted to say it out loud but restrained herself. Holly wouldn't like it if she put Fiona offside. She was supposed to play nice with other kids and things were dicey enough with Lisa already without antagonising her girlfriend. So Gail just shrugged and made a whatever face. 'Guess it's good to have someone else in our corner,' she conceded. That was magnanimous, Gail decided, Holly would be proud of her. Fiona nodded and went to speak with Frankie. Chances were Gail's mother had instructed Fiona to look out for Gail – well, no not instructed, it would have been a suggestion the staff sergeant couldn't very well ignore.
Her departure left Alannah and Lisa at the kitchen table. Could she get rid of them too, Gail wondered. Maybe not Alannah. Gail liked Alannah. She was actually pretty cool, almost in the same nerdy way Holly was, and just like Holly she was super smart. Around Alannah, Gail never had the same compulsion to bash her head against the nearest brick wall, which inevitably happened at some point in her interactions with most other people because they couldn't help but be idiots.
'You eaten?' Gail asked, 'I can stretch dinner.' She was a little taken aback by her generosity. Perhaps she was going soft or maybe, loath as she was to admit it, Gail wanted people around right now.
'What are you making?' Lisa asked, like this might determine whether she remained or went.
'Pasta. No one's forcing you to stay,' Gail couldn't help but snark.
'Jesus Peck no need for the hostility. I was just going to say it smells great,' Lisa retorted, 'what's in the sauce.'
'Oh,' Gail said awkwardly, tossing up whether she should apologise and then dismissing that as a really bad idea. 'It's just a basic tomato one. Fresh basil, smokey bacon, jalapeño chilli, lots of red wine.' That, at least, was said in a friendly tone.
'Tomatoes?' Lisa said it like a question.
'Cooked is okay. I'm only allergic to raw ones,' Gail explained. Wow, was Lisa concerned about her welfare. Surely not.
'She's actually a very good cook,' Lisa said to Alannah as though this should come as a surprise. There was a sense too that, in admitting this Lisa was making a big concession. The very first time Gail cooked dinner when Lisa had stayed for those few weeks, Lisa had eyed the food somewhat suspiciously. Once Lisa had her first mouthful, she couldn't stop, even asking for seconds. In fact, at one point she was making what sounded awfully like sex noises, which had made Gail and Chloe exchange looks of alarm.
'Yeah, Holly managed to tame the barbarian,' Gail quipped, 'I even eat with a knife and fork now.' In truth, she did more of the cooking than Holly. It wasn't that Holly was a terrible cook—in fact she had a number of what Gail termed her 'signature dishes' which were to die for—it was just that she was often a very distracted cook. Holly would stop mid chopping to tell a story, becoming so engrossed in her tale, it was only when there was a smell of burning, or Gail stepped in to remind her, that Holly would realise she had left something on the stove.
Alannah suppressed a smile. 'Holly mentioned it was one of Gail's accomplishments.'
Shit, had Alannah meant that to be flirtatious? It was all kinds of awkward if she did. And accomplishments. What was Gail – a heroine in a Jane Austen novel? Elizabeth Bennett to Holly's Darcy. That image made her smile. Except Darcy was proud and distant—to begin with anyway—hardly words you could use to describe Holly. Now Gail, on the other hand…
'The other one being sex,' Lisa sniggered.
It brought Gail's attention back to the kitchen and away from the vision of Holly in a bonnet and white muslin dress, her bosom heaving, because that's what they did in the 18th century, and they were most definitely bosoms not breasts. People certainly didn't discuss sex either, at least not as openly and explicitly as Lisa was surely about to. Gail very deliberately dropped her knife on the cutting board so it made a satisfying thud of protest.
Lisa was unfazed, or perhaps simply oblivious. 'We all know Gail's very accomplished at sex,' she said with a sneer.
'Not from personal experience, that's for sure,' Gail said like the thought alone of sex with Lisa was abhorrent.
'The feeling's mutual, Peck.'
'Just so we're clear—even if we were the last people on earth it's not happening. And really, you want to talk about sex right now.'
'I don't know why you're being squeamish,' Lisa griped, 'we've all walked in on you and Holly enough times.'
'It wasn't what I meant,' Alannah interrupted, if anything annoyed by Lisa's outburst, 'and speak for yourself Lis. The only person I've ever walked in on is you, that time in college.'
Not flirtatious then. Phew, Gail thought. Just sticking up for her like a friend. Alannah was okay.
'Hmph,' Lisa said, as if not quite prepared to concede there was any truth to Alannah's recollection.
'Lisa, you're good at cutting things, here,' Gail handed her a chopping board and a knife, deciding it best to distract her. It was a bit like dealing with a toddler. 'Make yourself useful. Slice up some vegetables for the salad.'
Lisa regarded the knife and board as though it were some kind of foreign object. When she stayed with Gail, Lisa never once cooked a meal. She was good at eating them and extremely proficient at ordering take-out, but actually preparing a meal from scratch seemed beyond her.
'Go on. I expect some precision dicing from a surgeon of your standing,' Gail said. Lisa scowled but picked up a carrot and started to chop.
'Did you cook for Frankie when you two were together?' Alannah asked quite suddenly. Her tone was wistful, like this was something she wanted to do with Frankie.
'Frankie and I were never actually together, Alannah. Not like a couple.' Gail put down the knife and looked directly at her. This question seemed important. Gail was fairly certain she could guess why. It was about domesticity, the everyday and sometimes tedious things that said you were a couple, and which, despite their ordinariness, were given a certain frisson by virtue of what they represented.
'Yeah, she was too hung up on Holly to commit to anyone else.' Lisa said blithely, clearly not remotely tuned into Alannah's mood.
'True,' Gail agreed genially, not looking away from Alannah, 'but regardless it wasn't like that with Frankie and me. It was more,' Gail paused as she searched for the right words, 'a convenient arrangement. You're the first person she's cared enough about to want a real relationship with.'
'I really can't picture Gail and Frankie together,' Lisa said, without glancing up from her task, 'it must have been like dating yourself, Gail.'
Gail scrunched up her face. Lisa rarely thought about she said before saying it. Although the opposite was probably true when she was around Gail. It was like she deliberately looked for things to say to provoke Gail. Holly had said much the same thing about Gail and Frankie but coming from Holly it was not nearly so offensive. It was more that she was curious about how it worked.
'Lisa,' Alannah began.
'What?' Lisa did look up now with a slight frown of consternation, as if Alannah and Gail were reacting unreasonably. 'I mean it's bordering on narcissism. Actually, the sex must have been practically masturbatory.'
'That's where you're going with this Lisa,' Gail said, not particularly affronted because it was Lisa and Lisa was always saying dumb shit.
'That's,' Alannah shook her head.
'Seriously fucked up,' Gail supplied for her. Alannah nodded.
'I don't know what's wrong with you two,' Lisa huffed, 'all I'm trying to say is, given how alike they are, if Gail has settled down, then Frankie can too.'
'Yep, that was exactly what you were saying,' Gail had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. 'How's that slicing going?' She looked at the bowl in front of Lisa. The carrots had been cut into uneven chunks and the cucumbers in thick wedges. The peppers, at least, seemed to have survived Lisa's butchering. 'Are you sure you're the world's best boob doctor Lisa, because if that's an example of your work I'm surprised your OR isn't a bloodbath.'
'Hilarious Peck,' Lisa stopped chopping and pushed back from the table. She helped herself to a beer from the fridge and sat back down heavily, with a loud sigh.
'If you're drinking my beer, at least you could offer Alannah and me one,' Gail said tartly.
'I'm drinking Holly's share of the the beer,' Lisa scowled, but retrieved two more beers, plonking one down in front of Alannah who had taken over chopping duties, and making a great show of handing the other to Gail.
'Speaking of sex,' Lisa started as she once again sat at the table.
'I didn't think we were,' Alannah cut in. She'd sliced the rest of the vegetables into even sizes and was now trying to refashion the ones Lisa had botched.
'Is Holly using sex as avoidance?' Lisa asked bluntly, ignoring Alannah.
'What do you mean?' Gail said warily, for once grateful she knew how to mask her feelings. Peck training 101. Give nothing away.
'You know, having sex rather than talk about how all this is affecting her,' Lisa said, waving her hand in the direction of the refrigerator, so Gail and Alannah could tell that 'all this' meant Francine.
'What, she's done it before?' Gail blurted out, then inwardly cursed herself for being drawn in by Lisa.
'You think you're special Peck. It was Holly's go to strategy at college.'
'Lisa,' Alannah said sharply, 'you're exaggerating. There were a couple of one night stands, which involved some alcohol.'
'Wait,' Gail said, 'Lisa, you're not comparing me to a drunken one night stand?'
'You said it, Peck,' Lisa said, looking smug as if she'd just won some kind of victory. Gail screwed up her face. Lisa always seemed to turn their conversations into a game of one –upmanship. Which was really screwy right at this moment because having a psycho sneak into your house and mutilate photos of you wasn't exactly fun. Gail didn't expect sympathy from Lisa but she could, at least, cut her some slack.
'Playing nice with the other kids, Lisa,' Frankie said from the doorway.
'Oh look the evil twin,' Lisa said.
'What the,' Frankie curled her lip.
'That must mean I'm the nice twin. Is that a compliment or an insult?' Gail quipped. Then her face went completely immobile for there standing just behind Frankie was Elaine Peck.
The Superintendent's lips were drawn in a thin line and her eyes narrowed. Gail knew that look. It was determined and unyielding. It meant she wouldn't be swayed from whatever course she'd set upon. Great, just fanfuckingtastic. She guessed she had Fiona Vincent to thank for informing her mother about Francine's latest strike.
As Elaine followed Frankie into the room, a third person came into view. It was a man wearing overalls and carrying a toolbox.
'This is Mike,' Elaine said authoritatively, like she was now in charge, 'he's installing an alarm system.'
'Right now,' Gail said irritably, 'if I wanted an alarm, I would have organized it myself.'
Elaine pursed her lips. 'Gail, a word privately,' she said testily.
With a great show of reluctance, Gail followed Elaine out to the living room. Fiona Vincent was in the hallway on her phone and she nodded as they passed.
'Gail, I'm not interested in what you have to say,' Elaine said once they reached the living room, and were presumably out of earshot of everyone else. Not that Gail cared if they heard. No point. It seemed like pretty much everyone knew her business now. 'Your objections are petty and thoughtless,' Elaine continued, 'and frankly I would have thought you'd have better judgement.'
'Well, don't hold back. Tell me what you really think, mother,' Gail replied. She hated the way Elaine believed she could still sweep in and organise her life. Like she knew what was best for Gail. Like Gail was incapable of making an adult decision. It immediately put Gail's back up, even if Elaine had an idea that was reasonable. 'Holly and I will discuss whether we want an alarm, and if we decide we do, then I'll get one installed.'
'It will make Holly feel safe,' Elaine stated simply.
That made Gail pause. Her mother was right. And it was sensible under the circumstances,
'What will make me feel safe?' came Holly's voice. She was standing in the hallway just outside the door, dressed in sweats with her wet hair pulled back in a ponytail.
Even like this Gail thought her so very beautiful. She experienced anew that feeling of sheer dumb incredible luck to have found Holly. She could hear her therapist, Leslie, saying, 'but is it luck, Gail? Haven't you made choices to shape the life you want to lead?' Leslie wasn't entirely wrong. Until Holly, Gail had felt like she was sleepwalking through life. She had no idea where she was headed, except that she was a Peck and a cop, factors that were preordained rather than chosen and definitely not something she could opt out of, and of course she wasn't girlfriend material. Leslie would probably say that last bit was choice. In fact, she'd probably say it all came down to choice.
It was chance though that brought Holly stumbling into Gail's crime scene. Well, not exactly stumbling, more like she bounded. Holly didn't sleep walk, no she approached things with an enthusiasm that was a mixture of curiosity about and openness to the world around her. It was an enthusiasm which back then Gail generally only reserved for donuts and good tequila. Inertia wasn't in Holly's DNA, Gail claimed. Holly laughed at that. 'Oh you should have seen how much I procrastinated after you dumped me at the Penny,' she said. Gail had, of course, protested, 'I did not dump you that night,' and Holly had tilted her head to one side and regarded Gail with an indulgent but disbelieving expression. That apparent aversion to lethargy partly explained why Holly started seeing someone else so quickly.
Celery said it was fate that brought she and Holly together. Really, Gail was so churlish that day in the woods she was surprised Holly wasn't put off completely. The fact that she wasn't had intrigued Gail. Without quite consciously realising, it made her want to find out more about Holly. Celery still maintained it was destiny. If that was the case, then fate was really screwing with her the night she met Lisa, Gail thought.
'Holly dear,' Elaine smiled as Holly came into the room.
The shower had revived Holly a little but there was still a telltale furrow of worry between her eyes.
'An alarm,' Gail said, 'it's being installed right now.'
'Is this your doing, Elaine?' Holly asked and Elaine nodded. 'Sounds sensible, right.' The way she said it, it was more like a question, and she turned to Gail who nodded. 'How did you get someone here so late? Won't they charge through the nose?'
'All taken care of,' Elaine waved her hand, 'and Mike owes me a favour.'
'I can afford an alarm system,' Holly said a little tersely.
'Of course dear,' Elaine said, 'and you can pay for it if you insist but consider it a gift. It's at least something practical I can do to keep you two safe.'
It was sincere, Gail was sure of that. Somehow, though, Elaine still managed to make it sound like she needed to step in because Gail, and by extension Holly, were too hopeless to manage on their own. Well, Gail could now add alarm systems to weapons as Elaine's gift of choice to say she cared. Not that Gail wasn't grateful at some level, but, in a situation like this, most mothers would pull their daughter into a hug and inquire as to their wellbeing. This, she supposed, was as effusive as Elaine was going to get.
'Thank you, Elaine. That is very generous but could you ask Mike to bill me,' Holly said. She smiled but her tone was firm. Gail was grateful. It was best not to be indebted to Elaine, even if you were related to her, or perhaps especially so.
'Do you want to stay for dinner?' Gail asked Elaine off-handedly, 'it seems half of Canada's in the kitchen and I agreed to feed them.'
Before Elaine had a chance to answer, Becca and Kurt literally burst into the room and, seemingly in one fluid motion, Becca was embracing Holly and then Gail while Kurt enveloped Holly in a hug.
'Oh Gail,' Becca said, holding Gail to her quite tightly, 'I'm so sorry you're going through this. What can we do?'
If she'd ordered up a set of parents to show Elaine how it was done, Gail couldn't have asked for better. The advent of the Stewart/Flowers clan in her life had brought with it a hitherto foreign sense of familial warmth and compassion. That fact must have been plain to Elaine because she stiffened slightly, a strange, quite possibly disconcerted, expression on her face. Like she was going cross-eyed in her efforts not to reveal what she was really thinking or feeling.
It transpired Kurt and Becca were passing when they saw all the activity at the house, including Mike's van, which was emblazoned with a sign saying 'Crimsafe'. Becca and Kurt were greeted at the door by Fiona Vincent, who knew them, having gone out to dinner with both they and Lisa.
'They're like Lisa's surrogate parents,' Holly said to Gail by way of explanation.
'Well, they could have done a better job bringing her up,' Gail said, her voice not quiet enough that Kurt and Becca didn't hear.
Kurt laughed in a way that reminded Gail of Holly. Becca smiled and said, 'I'm afraid Lisa came to us too late. There was only so much damage we could undo.'
'I hate to think what she was like before you two intervened,' Gail said, which this time made Becca laugh.
In the end, they all stayed for a dinner filled with laughter and stories and good food, and no mention of Francine, which Gail admitted was a relief. Even though she grumbled about her kitchen being full of people, as she looked around, Gail was glad they had stayed. It made Holly feel better. Gail could see that. In a sense they were reclaiming this space where Francine had stood, perhaps only hours earlier, methodically removing Gail's eyes from all those photos. Gail tried to avoid looking at the refrigerator, a residue of fingerprint powder the only thing now adorning it despite her scrubbing. But she kept being drawn back to it, each time reminded anew why the photos were no longer there. Each time too there settled in her stomach a gnawing feeling of dread so at odds with the conviviality surrounding her and which, like a balm on a rough piece of skin, had allowed her to momentarily forget Francine.
The only other time Francine, or at least the spectre of Francine, intruded was when Mike needed to turn the power off for fifteen minutes. Holly and Gail fetched candles, which infused the kitchen with a warm yellow glow and Gail could almost believe this was simply a spontaneous dinner with good friends. Even Lisa had dropped her earlier antagonism and was in a cheerful mood. It seemed Fiona was a good influence. Holly sat next to Gail, her chair pulled close and a hand resting on Gail's thigh.
Eventually everyone went home, save Frankie and Alannah because Frankie insisted on staying the night 'just in case'. The four of them sat at the kitchen table drinking camomile tea. Holly claimed it was calming and would help them sleep after all the 'excitement'.
'Oh really,' Gail teased Holly, 'you've been hanging around Celery too much.'
Holly answered by smiling and leaning over to kiss Gail, just softly but lingeringly so Gail couldn't help but grin against her lips. It took an awkward cough from Frankie for Holly to pull back.
'You know Lisa gets mean when she's worried,' Alannah said in the silence that followed.
'Yeah, Alannah's right,' Holly agreed but she looked concerned. She moved her hand to Gail's arm, 'was Lisa being a bitch.'
'Nothing I couldn't handle,' Gail shrugged, not particularly interested in dissecting the conversation with Lisa.
'Jesus, Lisa needs a kick up the ass,' Frankie said in disgust.
It was close to midnight when Gail and Holly finally got to bed. It was unmade from their activities of earlier in the afternoon. That seemed like a lifetime ago, Gail thought, but then a lot had happened in the intervening hours. Human remains and a visit from a psycho.
'You did a total loaves and fishes thing with dinner,' Holly said.
Gail snorted. 'Are you implying I'm Christlike.'
'Well, you are my saviour,' Holly tipped her head to one side and smiled.
Oh that, Gail thought with a sinking heart. On her way out, Elaine had taken Gail aside and reminded her about the award ceremony. 'I don't want a bravery award,' Gail had said, 'I mean, I could understand if it was a random stranger I saved from the car, not my girlfriend. Anyone would have done the same.'
'I'm not so sure about that,' Elaine had clicked her tongue in annoyance.
Now, Holly's smile turned sympathetic and she took Gail's hand. 'Elaine spoke to me too. I don't think you can refuse the award. Anyway, I think you deserve it.'
'God, since when have you colluded with Superintendent Mom,' Gail huffed.
'At least I'll get to see you in your uniform,' Holly smirked because they both knew exactly how that usually ended. At the very least, Holly was guaranteed not to be able to keep her hands to herself.
'You only have to ask if you want me to put my uniform on.'
'Yeah,' Holly grinned, 'don't tempt me.' Holly has admitted to Gail that she liked the fact everyone saw how hot Gail looked in her uniform but it was she who got to take her home and strip her out of it. Liked was probably too insipid a word for what that did to Holly. Gail found it amusing that Holly got so worked up at the sight of her in uniform, but wasn't complaining seeing as she was the beneficiary of Holly's libidinous. Sometimes Holly removed Gail's uniform very very slowly, savouring and teasing, and other times it was a little frenzied, so much so on one occasion several of Gail's buttons popped off.
'Oh, so now I'm a temptress,' Gail smiled lazily
'You are insane,' Holly smirked again.
.
They were lying face to face, and Holly moved closer so she could kiss Gail. Unlike the kiss in the kitchen, this was more insistent, and before long Holly moved a hand to Gail's breast and shifted so her leg was against Gail's centre. Gail found herself responding almost involuntarily, deepening the kiss and pressing against Holly's thigh, bringing a hand to cup her ass and press her closer, a fluttering low in her stomach, her skin tingling in anticipation of what was to come.
Gail had once told Holly that sex with her was so very, very, very good she could imagine giving staying in bed with Holly forever and giving herself over entirely to hedonism. It was said playfully but Gail was only half-joking. 'We'd have to get up sometime,' Holly laughed. When Gail shook her head vigorously, Holly, ever practical, pointed out, 'food, going to the bathroom, personal hygiene.' Gail conceded Holly made a valid point and decided exemptions could be made for what she designated 'life sustaining' activities but nothing else. Holly laughed once more, 'you'd get sick of me eventually.' Gail again shook her head vigorously, insisting that would never happen.
Now Gail was rocking against Holly's leg, the friction enough that she was already starting to gasp and might have come just like that but then Holly repositioned herself, shifting her leg from Gail's centre and sliding her hand to the band of Gail's boy shorts. Holly slipped her fingers beneath the fabric, tantalisingly close to Gail's clit, which was already thrumming with a delicious wanting ache. It wouldn't take much for Holly to move her fingers further down still and then Gail would be lost. The desire she felt for Holly and the connection to her was so fierce normally Gail didn't hesitate to act on it, particularly when Holly was kissing her so wantonly. Now, though, she pulled back abruptly, stopping Holly's hand.
'What's wrong?' Holly looked dazed. Gail couldn't tell if it was from lust or confusion or a mixture of both.
'We can't keep doing this,' Gail said.
'Doing what?' There was defensiveness about Holly that should have made Gail stop and consider how best to broach this, especially when Holly was already feeling so vulnerable. Instead, it just made Gail nervous, which was ridiculous because this was Holly and Holly never made her nervous, in fact quite the opposite. But then Holly was never normally defensive with Gail.
'Lisa said in college you used sex as avoidance.' Even as she spoke, Gail wished she could take the words back. It wasn't what she'd meant to say but somehow it spilled out. Here she was trying to do the right thing but she was making a mess of it. Really someone needed to give her a relationship manual—something to help her navigate unfamiliar territory.
'Lisa knows shit,' Holly said coolly. She moved up into a sitting position, her back against the headboard and Gail did the same.
'You won't get any argument from me about that,' Gail tried to sound lighthearted but it fell flat. Even in the gloom of the bedroom she could make out Holly's stony expression. 'It's just, um, you want to have sex a lot, kinda all the time and –'
'And you're finding me too demanding,' Holly interrupted.
'What? No!' Gail protested, 'I'm concerned that maybe something else is worrying you. Maybe it's because of the near death experience, you know, being reminded of your – our – mortality, well that's what Frankie thought—'
'You discussed our sex life with Frankie,' Holly said. The harshness in her voice threw Gail.
'It's not like she hasn't figured out why I keep disappearing in the afternoon. She asked what was going on.'
'And so you what? Filled her in, workshopped it.'
'No. I just said that it was happening a lot. Not the details. I'd never do that. Even when we first slept together and it was so incredible, nobody had ever made me feel like that before, and I practically wanted to shout from the rooftops, and you know that's not something I do. I never gave anyone details, even when McNally and Traci cornered me in the Penny and plied me with so much tequila they practically had to carry me home.'
'I told Rachel and Lisa,' Holly said quietly, seemingly no longer annoyed, in fact sounding chastened.
'What?' Gail asked, confused.
'Best sex ever. That's what I told Lisa and Rachel when we first got together.'
'Oh,' was all Gail could think to say. Holly was close to Rachel and Lisa, they were like family after all, so it would make sense she'd share this with them. Gail could imagine Lisa asking something direct like 'how is the sex?' She wouldn't hold back, that's for sure. Now she thought about it, Gail recognised that Lisa had a lot of problems with boundaries. Even so, and even though Lisa had unwittingly walked in on them a number of times, which was annoying and a little mortifying (not that Gail was going to allow herself to give into the feeling), she hoped Holly hadn't been too candid. The thought that Lisa knew the details of their sex life was a tad disconcerting.
' I couldn't help it,' Holly continued, 'Lisa kept going on and on about how you wouldn't know what to do and I just had to shut her up.'
'Lisa knows shit,' Gail drawled and Holly laughed.
'Oh yeah. You were a natural,' Holly screwed up her face, 'I might have told Lisa that too and I might have bragged about how many orgasms you'd given me the night before but that was all.'
'Uh huh,' Gail said, sensing she might have the upper hand now. Not that she was going to use that against Holly. It just let her off the hook. Holly couldn't be mad at her for talking to Frankie when she'd over-shared with Lisa and Rachel.
'But you and Frankie slept together. Telling her is different.'
Okay, so maybe she'd just lost that upper hand, Gail thought. 'Except me and Frankie—that's so, so in the past. I'm still figuring this out—how to be in a relationship—and sometimes it helps to talk to her, especially as it's new for both of us.'
'You don't think you can figure it out with me?'
'Yeah, of course, but occasionally it's good to get an outside perspective. Frankie just wanted to help. She'd be just as squeamish as you if I actually did reveal the details of our sex life.'
'And you've been trying to talk to me about this,' Holly blew out her cheeks, 'and I've been,' Holly stopped and screwed up her face as she searched for the right word.
'Defensive. Angry,' Gail suggested, but her tone was understanding rather than accusatory, 'it didn't help that I mentioned Lisa and Frankie. That was monumentally stupid. I'm not very good at this Holly.' Gail flapped her hands about to indicate the two of them. 'Especially conflict.'
'At least you're trying. I just blocked you, and then told you to talk to me not Frankie, which isn't going to work if I'm not listening. The thing is,' Holly took Gail's hand, 'Frankie's kind of right. Every time you walk out that door to go to work I worry that's the last time I'll ever see you. I thought I'd found a way to manage that, but then the whole Gimlet thing happened, and now I've put you in more danger because of Francine. Part of me—a very big part—just wants to keep you close all the time, to never let you out of my sight.'
'To wrap me in cotton wool,' Gail made a sympathetic face.
'It's crazy, but yeah and I know I can't do that. So sex is the one time I let go of that worry,' Holly said.
'That makes sense,' Gail said, she smoothed her thumb along the outside of Holly's hand 'I promise I will always be careful and I won't take unnecessary risks because all I want to do is come back to you. I've made it through a lot of crazy shit and that's a positive right. Not the crazy shit but—'
'But because you're a survivor.'
'Against all odds and despite my self-destructive impulses,' Gail made a rueful face. 'Holly, you give me a very compelling to hang around. I don't want to miss a minute of us together. If only I could do something to make you worry less.'
Holly gave a half smile. 'I called Leslie this evening and she gave me the names of some therapists. I think it would help to talk to someone.'
'Yeah, it does,' Gail nodded enthusiastically, 'but it kinda sucks that you need therapy because of me'
'No, not because of you. Plenty of other people handle having partners on the force. This is about my anxieties. It's not like I didn't know what you did for a living when we started dating.'
'Maybe you need an undemanding girlfriend with a mundane job,' Gail joked.
'Seriously? You mean someone insipid,' Holly quirked an eyebrow, 'I'd choose worrying about you over a simple life any day.'
'Sweet talker,' Gail teased, then kissed Holly lightly on the lips.
If mundane was simple did that mean their life was what—complicated, difficult? Gail knew she wasn't exactly the most straightforward person, and even though she was trying to be better, Holly made allowances for her. Would it have been easier for Holly if they'd never met? What if it was Marlo who had accompanied Holly to the morgue that day while Gail stayed behind in the woods? Would life have unfolded differently? Would Holly be lying in bed next to someone completely different—someone with a nice, safe job and a functional family and no baggage, emotional or otherwise? Someone who wasn't the least bit skittish, and whom, if there happened to be a problem in the relationship, would discuss it calmly and maturely, and most definitely wouldn't nervously blurt out the first thing that entered her head.
'You are perfect for me,' Holly said gently as if reading Gail's mind, or at least knowing from experience the tunnel Gail was going down, 'you know that. So stop beating yourself up. We'll figure it out.'
Gail smiled weakly. Perfect except for the fact that Holly spent a good deal of her waking hours anxious about Gail's safety.
After that, Holly said they really should sleep. It was well past midnight now and Gail needed to be up early for the breakfast meeting with Tim Avanti at Viscom. As they lay back down on the bed, Holly said in a small voice, 'can you just hold me.' Gail scooted over immediately, pressing up against Holly's back, one arm around her waist. 'Always,' Gail breathed, and even though she couldn't see Holly's face, she was sure she was smiling.
Holly turned to face her then, and the kiss that followed was sweet and full of love and an unspoken understanding that they were in this together. Gail wrapped her arms around Holly, drawing comfort, as she always did, from the way Holly smelled, the traces of vanilla and cinnamon she associated with warmth and reassurance and love and security. Holly was her safe harbour, Gail realized, desperately wishing she could offer Holly that same solace and protection.
Just as she was about to slip into sleep, Gail was jolted awake by a thought. 'That talk of babies, was that about keeping me barefoot and pregnant? You know, stop me from chasing bad guys.'
'Sleeping now,' Holly said, her voice muffled because of the way she was lying with her head against Gail's chest. Admittedly she did sound tired, but Gail wasn't letting it go.
'Okay, but don't think you're off the hook, Stewart.'
'I love you, Gail,' came the muffled reply.
Gail smiled and kissed Holly's forehead, 'I love you too, nerd.'
….
Viscom was in a huge new glass building downtown—one of the ones that seemed to stretch up forever. Skyscraper was the right name for it, Gail thought. The very first high rise really must have been a thing of wonder. She'd read it was built in the 1880s, not as you might expect in New York but in Chicago. It forever changed cityscapes. Ten storeys, modest by today's standards, but still people predicted it wouldn't stand. The architect, William Jenney, proved them wrong. He said he designed buildings to last so people could read the feelings and emotions of those who constructed them. Not that that first one lasted. It fell to the wrecking ball in 1931 to make way for a much taller building.
Jeez, she was becoming as nerdy as Holly with these facts. Problem was she had a facility for remembering them, due in part to Elaine's tutelage but also because she was something of a natural. Steve wasn't nearly as good and he hated that she showed him up. Not that Gail wanted to, it was just that her parents turned everything into a competition and Steve always wanted to win, the drive to impress bordering on obsession. It was what had undone him. Well, that and his arrogance. His wrecking ball. When Gail was little, she often deliberately said she couldn't remember things just so Steve wouldn't sulk.
It occurred to Gail that even the most solidly constructed thing could be torn down. You could make a monument to your better self, not even a monument, but a place to just be, structurally sound with good foundations, and it could be crushed like it were made of paper. There was a wrecking ball for everything, Gail thought gloomily. It was then she realised she was longer thinking about William Jenney's building but her relationship with Holly. Was Francine their wrecking ball?
The elevator dinging brought her too.
'You okay there,' Frankie asked, 'you look like shit, Peck.'
'Didn't sleep much,' she said, and when Frankie raised an eyebrow, hurriedly added, 'not what you're thinking.' In fact, Frankie wasn't looking too flash either. There were dark shadows under her eyes and her face was wan, in fact far too pale to suggest she'd stayed up having sex. No. It was more likely, just like Gail and Holly, she and Alannah were having a heart to heart.
Viscom took up the entire eighteenth floor of the building. You didn't have this much realestate in downtown Toronto unless you were a success story. Even the reception area had a conspicuous plushness about it, which while tasteful was showy, like Viscom wanted its clients to know it was doing well. Marcia, Tim Avant's secretary, was waiting for Gail and Frankie in reception and ushered them into his office.
The CEO was seated behind a long glass desk. His office was large. Big enough for a couch and two chairs and a sideboard upon which had been placed an amazing breakfast spread—pastries, various cereals and a fruit platter. The aroma of freshly made coffee drifted through the room. Gail was so desperate for a shot of caffeine she was sure she had her nose in the air, twitching and sniffing like a dog.
'Coffee? It's espresso, the real stuff,' Avanti offered, all smooth and urban. He was young for a CEO, probably somewhere in his mid-thirties.
As Avanti busied himself with the coffee machine, Gail took at good look at him. He wore an open neck white shirt with a blue suit, the blazer fastened by one button, a white and grey handkerchief with geometrical patterns peeking out of the breast pocket. His hair was stylishly cut, his teeth too white, and he had an artfully managed two-day growth. A battered pair of brown shoes was the only off note, but even then it sent a message as if to say Avanti choose comfort over style, which clearly was not the case. No doubt he believed it made him seem edgy and a little bit anti-establishment (as if, Gail thought). The hipster businessman, he looked like he should be modelling menswear, she decided.
'Marcia has emailed the surveyor's report and photographs to both you and the forensic pathologist,' Avanti said when they sat down – Gail and Frankie on the couch, Avanti on a chair opposite. 'I believe the pathologist thought it might help him determine when the body was buried.'
'Her,' Gail said through a mouthful of croissant. She'd tried not to take too much food, but man it was good and she was hungry. She could hear Holly saying, 'when aren't you hungry.'
'Her?' Avanti looked puzzled for a moment, and then coloured ever so slightly when he realised his mistake. 'Marcia arranged it all. I wasn't aware of the, ah, particulars,' he said by way of explanation.
'So you purchased the land from an association known as the Two Toronto Archers?' Frankie asked, getting straight to business. She and Gail had been able to establish that much before they left the station the previous evening.
'Yes, two brothers. Leonard and Mitchell Cormann. They set up the Club. It was called the Toronto Archers. The land originally belonged to their father. He represented Canada in archery at the Olympics back in the 50's.'
'I'm guessing you'd have contact details for the brothers?'
'Len, yes,' Avanti said, 'but Mitchell has been missing for over four years. It was one of the things that held up the development, apart from the residents protesting against the rezoning of the land from recreational to low-rise residential. We had to petition the court to make a ruling of death in absentia.'
Neither Frankie nor Gail said anything for a moment as they digested this information. Would it be that easy? Did the skeletal remains belong to Michelle Cormann, Gail wondered.
'They jointly owned the property,' Avanti continued, clearly thinking from their silence that the two detectives didn't get his meaning, 'Len couldn't legally sell it without Mitchell's consent.'
'So why put it on the market?' Gail asked.
'He didn't. I met him at a party and he mentioned the land. The Club had long since folded. It sounded like it was perfect for redevelopment. I asked to take a look and made him an offer. Listen, Len's a stand-up guy. If you're thinking he killed Mitchell and buried him there, then why would he sell me the land knowing I was going to dig it up?'
It was a good question, Gail thought, but then criminals were generally idiots.
…..
