Chapter 48: Awkward Alliance
The next morning, the Pan Gang arrived and made quick work of devouring the breakfast Mindy had conjured up: waffles, bacon, scrambled eggs, croissants, and more. The only thing left untouched was a bowl of raspberry oatmeal for Scarlett. Despite the princess's hard work of creating the perfect maple syrup, no one except Peter, Wendy, the Boys, Pufferbell, and the little conscience indulged in the feast.
Mindy, Dakota, and Scarlett's eyes drooped, drool pooled from their mouths, and their forms sagged and sank into their seats.
"What in the name of Walt's ink and paint is the matter with you three?" Jiminy asked through a mouthful of porridge. He then swallowed before adding, "It's not like you to be this quiet,"
"It's not like you to be this annoying in the mornings and yet, here you are," Mindy lightly punched Scarlett's shoulder, and she sighed, "I mean, good morning to you. Go sing to some birds...or sea gulls I guess,"
The cricket shuddered, "I'd rather not, thank you,"
Just then, the room stilled as Ursula and her 'Poor Little Poopsies' entered.
The octopus cocked a brow at the spread, but didn't question it. She then side-eyed the tired trio as she strutted to her vanity, "You look like you entered Cthulhu's Cove and lived to tell the tale," she said as she removed the shell curlers from her hair.
Mindy's fist met the table, and a half-crazed, sudden, laugh pealed from her lips.
It was so sudden it caused Scarlett to snap upwards in a drowsy stupor, seconds before her head could reach the bowl of oatmeal. Everyone flinched and stared at Mindy with fright. She hiccupped as tears streamed from the corners of her shut lids.
While the rest of them wondered what was so funny, Mindy remembered the Projectionist forcing her to dance with just him this time. He'd lured her into a false sense of security by going into an hour-long rant about how he didn't understand her generation. Things were predictably dull until he'd sicked a giant squid on her. She'd awoken right as she'd been ensnared in its tentacles and drawn closer to its massive mouth.
It took her a full minute to calm herself enough to speak, "You could say that,"
Dakota shot her a look across the table (she assumed it to be made of an angular fish skeleton) that asked a silent question: "Did you tell anyone about what happened last night?" Then again, it could've been: "Are you okay?" but Mindy couldn't think straight. In fact, she was certain her thinking was going sideways, longways, and upways.
She didn't know, so she shook her head.
This caused Dakota' eyes to expand to a comedic, cartoonish size that Mindy wasn't expecting, and she bit back another laugh. The Disney-verse really was rubbing off on them. Scarlett nudged her, but it didn't register right away, and she tilted forwards precariously before stiffening upright.
...
"Alright then," Ursula cleared her throat before turning back to the vanity. She started applying periwinkle-blue eyeshadow and black mascara, "If you and your boyfriend are quite done mooning over each other, don't we have a clue to look for?"
CLANG!
Scarlett had dunked her head in the oatmeal.
Since the lair wasn't spacious (in fact, it was extremely claustrophobic with the sixteen of them in it), they found the fifth clue in less than a minute of searching. Jetsam had found it underneath the cauldron, and brought it over to his mistress to read.
"All it says is 'Cthulhu's Cove'," Ursula's eyes narrowed, "How ironic,"
Mindy peeked over her shoulder and winced, "Yeesh, I'm starting to miss my bad poetry. But you were spot-on, nice work!"
The Sea Witch seemed taken aback by the compliment, then shrugged with an apathetic air, "Eh, it's Disney logic. Nothing more, nothing less,"
"What do you know about Cthulhu's Cove?" Scarlett asked curiously.
"He's a god-like beast with the body of a green dragon, human-like hands, and the head of an octopus," Ursula said in a dramatic whisper. She used her tentacles to make a shadow puppet of the monster on the far wall from the eerie green light of her cauldron, "One of the 'Old Ones' destined to one day rise from his prison and exterminate the entire human race in a single footstep. Legend says his appearance is so unlike this world, that anyone who looks upon him will be driven to insanity for the rest of their lives..."
Everyone blinked in unison.
"Alright!" Mindy clapped her hands together with a tense smile, "That was a lot to take in. Thank you so much for your help, Ursula and fiends-friends! We'll be back in a couple days to-uh, rescue you from being shish kabobbed! Okay? Okay. Come on gang, we got a sea beast to track!"
She, Scarlett, and Dakota started leading the group to the exit.
The princess paused and snapped her fingers to make the skeletal table and the leftover food vanish. Satisfied, she smacked her lips a couple times before whirling around, and crashing right into Ursula's chest.
"Where do you think you're going, Twinkle Toes?" she innocently asked.
Mindy peered up and tilted her head, "Uh, Cthulhu's Cove...wherever that may be,"
"And how exactly do you plan on finding it? Better yet, how do you plan on defeating the monster once you get there?" when she couldn't provide an answer, Ursula flashed a triumphantly wicked smile, "That's what I thought. Luckily for you, I know precisely where the cove is. And since I'm in a generous mood, I'll even strike up a bargain with you in exchange for the information,"
Dakota opened his mouth to protest, when Mindy cupped her hand over it, "We're listening,"
"I will give your crew this map which will serve as your guide to Cthulhu's Cove. It's about a day's journey from here, so in terms of supplies you won't need much," Ursula spun her hands in a circle, and two scrolls appeared and drifted toward them, "I'll even throw in the English translation of the plaque stationed above the entrance. It was written in an ancient Atlantican language no one ever uses anymore, and no other translation is available in the Palace's Royal Library,"
Before Peter had the chance to snatch them out of the water, the Sea Witch yanked them back.
"You didn't let me finish!" she snapped, "Where are your manners? Don't you know you can't catch nothing for nothing? Or have you even met me?"
"We get the point," Dakota growled, "What is it that you want?"
Ursula's rouged lips spread into delicious smirk, "In exchange for the scrolls, I must be allowed to tag along on this little side-quest you're embarking on, and the Anomaly must promise me her guaranteed protection for the rest of the feature,"
"What?!" everyone chorused.
"Why the long faces? Surely spending an entire day with me cannot possibly be so miserable," Ursula mock-pouted before slinging an arm around Mindy's shoulders with shining eyes, "Picture it: Two of the most powerful sorceresses in the Dremesphere joining forces. It'll be the alliance of the century! We'll be unstoppable!"
Mindy tried to respond, but Peter removed her from the villainess's grasp, and pointed his dagger at her with a sneer, "Forget it, Blubber Breath! There's no way we'd ever let a villain like you tag along with us!"
Ursula calmly pointed the weapon down with a single clawed fingernail, "Whether you'd like to admit it or not, you need me. Without the map, you'll be lost, chasing your tails in the middle of the Abysmal Plain. And even if you somehow miraculously found the cove, I'd hate to think about the misfortune that would befall you should you attempt to battle Cthulhu without me,"
"We'll take our chances," Dakota spat, "Let's get out of here already,"
He took hold of Mindy's arm, but she broke away, "Hang on!" she swam right up to Ursula with furrowed brows, "I get you want us to rescue you at the end of the movie, and I already promised I would do everything within my power to do so. But why are you so clingy with me? You said so yourself; you're more experienced in magic than I am. Why do you suddenly feel the need to be glued at my side?"
"I've waited for the Anomaly's return for eight years," Ursula explained in an exhausted tone, "Eight years of misery, boredom, and woe. Imagine with me for a moment (I know it's your specialty). If the answer to all your problems fell into your lap one day, would you let it slip between your tentacles?"
"No, because she doesn't have tentacles!" Dakota burst.
Mindy rolled her eyes, "Of course I wouldn't,"
"I thought I'd made it clear you were my salvation-"
"-she's not Jesus, OW!"
Mindy had smacked him before pressing a firm finger to her lips.
Ursula ignored their antics, "And I have no intentions of being left to my own devices in the possible scenario of you all not arriving in time to save me from permanent erasure. Either I come along, or you're on your own,"
Mindy bit her lip in thought.
She could be biding her time, or maybe this was a ploy to start a villain uprising like Dakota had said. If that were the case, why hadn't The Projectionist said anything last night? If anyone detected rumors about a coup brewing in the Dremesphere, he would. Wouldn't he have given Mindy a mocking warning about her decision to help Ursula? Then again, it'd be in The Projectionist's best interest to not say anything.
But even that wasn't concrete evidence Ursula was up to something.
Mindy looked to her crew. Everyone except for Jiminy and Scarlett shook their heads. She couldn't've cared less. Ursula was right. They did need her. Mindy sighed...she hoped she wouldn't regret this.
"I accept your deal,"
"Excellent," Ursula's grin widened tenfold. She unraveled a third scroll out of nowhere, and gestured to the skeletal quill hovering next to it, "Sign on the dotted line, if you please,"
Dakota tried to snag the quill, but Mindy was faster. With cracked lids, she scrawled her full name: Melinda Maye Singh.
The contract vanished in a flourish of bubbles, and with an uneasy smile, Mindy offered Ursula her hand to shake, "Welcome to Mediocrity at Its Finest,"
