The trip back to my shelter went quickly, and seeing it in the light of day made me wince. It was piecemeal, at best, and the darkness was the only reason I was proud of it last night. I was just lucky it hadn't fallen down on my head. Crawling quickly inside, I grabbed my pack and rolled up my sleeping bag to shove in the top. There was enough space that I didn't really take the time to do it neatly. Crawling back out, I poked my hand on a twig and stopped to rub it.
"An interesting way to camp."
I flinched and looked up, scrambling the rest of the way out of my shelter. Fili was standing there, arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. I glanced around, but Kili didn't seem to be with him. Weird.
"Ah, yeah. I wasn't sure what was out there, and well, being by myself, some shelter is better than none?" He chuckled, and I shrugged, "I thought it looked better in the dark last night."
"Why did you wait until dark to build it?"
"No choice," I shrugged again, "I didn't come to until about dusk and these things take time."
"Come to?" He questioned, frowning and stepping towards me as I fastened my pack, "I noticed an injury on the back of your head, how did you receive it?"
I blinked at him, "Uh, I took a little tumble off a cliff?" I grinned, "I was taking a hike, a walk really, and tripped off a cliff. Must've hit my head harder than I thought, because I'm very certain this wasn't where I was when I fell."
His frown deepened, and he reached out to grasp my forearm, pulling me along as he headed back towards the others. He didn't say anything though, which I found rather odd. Random woman pops up in the forest, helps you escape trolls, then admits to thinking she teleported, and the dude just frowns? Whatever.
He didn't say anything, or let go of me, until we were back in the troll camp. The dwarves, it appeared, were mostly put back together now, and the ponies had been rounded up and were being saddled and packed. Thorin and Gandalf were by statue-William talking, and Fili led me straight there. Kili joined us on the way across the clearing, glancing at me curiously, but also not saying anything.
"Uncle, Gandalf," Fili caught their attention, "She says she doesn't remember how she got to these woods, and she has a nasty bump on her head."
Both of them joined him in the frowns united club, and a glance at Kili proved him a member of the club as well.
"Uh, it's not so much that, as I remember hitting my head in different woods than I woke up in? I mean, I was hiking near my house, tripped off the edge of a little cliff, hit my head, then came to in the middle of this strange forest. I didn't recognize it, so I made a shelter and resolved to try to figure things out in the morning. That got a little, uh, derailed, when I heard the commotion last night. Your friend was doing an alright job trying to stall for dawn, but there was just too much time to fill, so I tried to do what I could. Nobody deserves to be eaten and I don't know who you guys are or anything about you, but the trolls? Those were trolls, right? They were talking about eating you guys, and were actually trying to roast some of you alive, and that's awful and I'm rambling, aren't I?" I blushed and ducked my head, hugging myself. Yay antisocial hermit meeting people skills.
Thorin just kind of stared at me, but Gandalf tucked his pipe away, "I'd quite forgotten that we didn't have the chance to get introduced. My name is Gandalf the Grey. This is Thorin Oakenshield, the leader of our company. Beside you are his nephews, Fili and Kili. It was Kili's bow you borrowed, to such great effect."
So he totally ignored the teleporting issue. Wizards. But at least I could refer to these four by name now.
"Nice to meet you guys, I'm Aria," I glanced at Kili, "It's a very nice bow. Slightly heavier draw then mine, is it ram's horn?" it had to be, to have that draw on such a little recurve.
He grinned, "Yes, from a ram I killed myself!" He puffed up his chest, obviously very proud of his achievement, and I grinned back.
"Fili, Kili," Thorin suddenly spoke, "Take Aria to have Dori look her over. The rest of us will search for the troll's cave. Come find us when you're finished."
Then he just left. I blinked. Okay, slightly abrupt, but dude got a lot on his mind, I guess. Fili touched my elbow, guiding me to turn towards where a couple of the dwarves were finishing with the ponies. Kili followed us, and I saw Fili throw a look back at him. All the exchanging looks I didn't get was getting old fast.
"So… I've never met a dwarf before."
"Really?" Kili came up beside me, "What do you think?"
I laughed, and glancing at Fili, found him just as eager to hear my answer, though he also tried to look exasperated with his brother. Typical slightly older sibling.
"I think that all I've heard about you being hardy folk and fierce warriors is true, though for some reason, the bow surprises me. Also," I grinned, "I wasn't expecting you to be quite so tall."
Fili laughed and hooked his arm around mine, "What, thought we'd be more like hobbits?"
I smiled, and tilted my head, playing curious, "Is that what your friend is, the one who was stalling for time when I arrived?"
Both brothers looked at me for a moment, then Kili nodded, "Yes. You knew he was just stalling?"
"Of course, why else would he be spouting such nonsense? I mean, seriously, "skin them first?" he obviously knew dawn would turn the trolls to stone, and was just doing his best to keep you all alive until then."
Fili tugged on one of his mustache braids, and I had to resist the urge to laugh. Kili tucked his arm in my other one, and dragged us all to a halt. He regarded me seriously.
"We're very lucky you came along when you did."
"Oh," I blushed, "I'm sure you would have figured something out."
"Yet you still acted to help us," Fili added, "And without ever training for combat," he noted shrewdly.
"That obvious, huh?"
Both brothers shrugged.
"What's this now?" Dori walked up to us, "The poor lass looks like she's been right drug through the brush! And you two standing here yapping instead of bringing her to me!"
Dori fussed, and pulled me away from the protesting duo. Something about being on our way to see him and not their fault. I quickly found myself sitting on a rock, Dori tsking and muttering as he poked at the back of my head.
"Kili, get my waterskin. Fili, get some piece of spare cloth."
More poking and tsking.
"You've got a right bump lass. And look at all these cuts and bruises! Roll up those sleeves now."
Dutifully, I rolled my sleeves as high as they would go. He frowned, but didn't say anything, taking the cloth and water and carefully bathing first my head, then all the cuts on my neck and arms. Honestly, I was surprised at the number of them, and soon all of us were frowning.
"Fili, Kili, lads, we're going to need some privacy."
Both boys looked up sharply, before turning around reluctantly and taking a few steps away. I fingered the hem of my shirt nervously, and Dori eyed me, before heaving a deep sigh.
"You're going to have to take that strange tunic of yours off lass, so I can get to that cut on your side and wrap up your ribs properly, you've cracked a couple of them.
Well, damn. That isn't awkward at all.
"Okay," I paused, realizing he hadn't introduced himself, "Um, what's your name again?"
"Dori lass," he gave a short bow, "At your service."
"Okay Dori, um, yeah. Okay. Just gimme a sec to get these buttons." I almost rolled my eyes at myself. Way to make awkward more awkward, Ar.
I fumbled with the buttons a bit, but Dori had distracted himself washing the cuts on my knees and dabbing a paste on them. Luckily, my pants were sturdier than my shirt, so those were the only cuts on my legs. As for bruises, I'd see if I could get some of the bruise paste to put on myself later. Once I got my shirt off, I held it in a sort of awkward bunch in front of my boobs. I was wearing a sports bra, but somehow it was way more awkward to wear a sports bra in front of a medieval dwarf than at the gym at home. I wonder why? Thank you, sarcasm.
"Dear Durin, lass, what did you do?"
I looked down at myself. My left side was turned a rather interesting shade of green, with a jagged cut across the middle of it.
"Must've hit a rock pretty good after I passed out, I don't remember an impact that would have caused that kind of damage," I reached down to poke it, and he swatted my hand away.
"How did that happen, lass?"
"Oh, I fell off a bit of a cliff," I shrugged, "I tripped."
He paused, then shook his head and started muttering about the stupidity of the younger generation. I grinned.
"My name's Aria, by the way. Thanks for looking at these for me."
"'Course, lass, no need to mention it. Now," he tied off a tight bandage on my ribs that made me hold back a wince, "Make sure you keep these wrapped for a couple of weeks, you don't want to go from cracked ribs to broken ones. And no more falling off of cliffs!"
"Yessir," I chuckled, and put my shirt back on. It was a filthy mess, and so was I, but at least I wasn't as ripe or dirty as the dwarves. I'd fit right in.
I stood and reached out to shake his hand, not totally sure how dwarves felt about hugs, but he surprised me by pulling me into a careful hug. Nice, I could get my hug fix in a company of medieval dwarves. I patted him on the back, and thanked him again for his care. Fili and Kili still had their backs to us, so I walked up and casually threw an arm over each of their shoulders. The way they both jumped was very satisfying, and Dori chuckled good naturedly.
"So boys, where to? Time to discover a troll's hoard?"
Dori led the way into the trees, following the tracks of all the ponies until we encountered Bifur and Ori watching them. I was introduced to the two dwarves, trying some ASL on Bifur, but it seemed his sign language was too different. Fili said he appreciated the effort though, and expressed interest in my signs. I don't know the whole language, but maybe I could teach him enough ASL that we could converse.
Continuing on to where the rest were gathered around or in the troll hoard, I hung back. The smell was bad enough from here, any closer and I'd start retching.
"That smell is too much for me, this is quite close enough, I think."
Kili laughed, and Fiili waved a hand in front of my face as if to chase the smell away. I rolled my eyes at them. Seriously, they acted like college kids. I knew I had a tendency to act young sometimes, but they seemed to really be young, and I wondered at the aging of dwarves. Weren't these two supposed to be like, seventy?
Thorin emerged from the cave, and, noticing us, made his way in our direction. He was holding Orcrist, as expected, but also a dusty longbow, complete with a mostly-full quiver that had two long knives strapped to it. Huh. What'dya know? Was I gonna get those? Fingers and toes crossed, that would be epic. Sure enough, he stopped in front of us and held them out to me.
"Here, it's best to be armed. These may be of elven make, but they should serve you well enough."
"Thanks," I grabbed them, and began rubbing the dust off, "I was beginning to feel a bit naked without anything to defend myself."
"Your clothing and manner of speech are very odd, almost as odd as your appearance in these woods."
"And the way y'all talk and dress are weird to me too, but that's just because I've never seen or met a dwarf, and you probably haven't met a human of my culture yet either," I shrugged, and examined the straps on the quiver. Seemed to be a pretty standard set-up, just plus knives, "Considering that, I'd say my timely appearance was way weirder. Especially considering where, and when, we are."
Casually dropping that bombshell. Time-travel seemed more likely than dimensional travel, right?
He straightened, "When?"
I tried really hard to keep the tension out of my voice and act nonchalant, "Yeah. I mean, people haven't used these kinds of weapons for actual fighting in ages, or dressed like y'all. And dwarves and hobbits? Only in storybooks. My best guess is that I somehow fell into some sort of time rift or something. Nothing else makes sense. Especially trolls. Trolls just don't exist. But, three trolls tried to eat y'all last night and I actually killed one. Just a little proof that this is real. I'm only slightly in shock, it's fine."
Holy shit I'm in Middle Earth.
Holy fucking shit I'm in Middle Earth trying to convince Thorin Oakenshield that I'm actually from the future.
Holy fucking shit on a stick I'm in Middle Earth talking to Thorin Freaking Oakenshield.
For a long moment, Thorin, Fili and Kili, and Dori all just sort of stared at me. I winced and ducked my head. Way to run your mouth, Ar, they're all gonna think you're mad as a freaking hatter.
"That would certainly explain a few things."
What.
"You are handling your shock like a dwarf." Again, what? "You may travel with us, perhaps Gandalf will be able to find you a way home. In the meantime, my nephews will keep an eye on you. Our journey is not a safe one."
Then he smiled. Honest to freaking Mahal gave this little wry half-smile and patted me on the shoulder. I think I had an aneurysm.
"Uh, wow. Thanks. I uh, hope I won't be too much trouble? I mean, thank you, sir, Thorin, Mr. Oakenshield?" I buried my face in my hands and groaned, "Kill me now, I can't even talk."
Thorin (yes Thorin), just chuckled and patted my shoulder again. Kili about died he was laughing so hard, and Fili was doing a decent impression of a pig/horse cross that was somewhat frightening. Moral of the story, I just became the personal entertainment of the line of Durin. Could be worse jobs, I guess. I tried to curl over and rest my elbows on my knees, only to let out a little gasp and straighten up when my ribs gave an almighty twinge of pain.
"Ooooh man, I've never had cracked ribs before, this sucks."
"Sucks?"
"You cracked your ribs?"
"Are you okay?"
"Wow guys, one at a time. Yes Thorin, I cracked my ribs. Sucks is one of the words folks where I live use for things that are kind of awful or annoying or frustrating. Yeah Fili, I'm fine, just getting used to what does and doesn't hurt. Last night I was pumped on so much adrenaline that I didn't even notice."
"What is adrenaline?" Thorin tilted his head, glancing at me before working on getting Orcrist clean and strapped to his belt.
"Oh right. Weird. It's a chemical that your body produces when you're scared or anxious that makes you feel jittery and energized. Also what makes it so you don't feel wounds until after things like battle."
"Fascinating," Kili put in, "What's a chemical?"
I paused in wiping off my new bow, "Uh, you know, I'm not totally sure how to explain that. It's a substance of a certain set of properties, can be a lot of different things, but adrenaline is the type of chemical we call organic, because the body produces it and it's made of all natural materials. Think of it like a switch flicking in your brain, adrenaline flicks the switch that gets you all hyped and ready for battle," I made a face, "That was a pretty crap explanation, but it wasn't part of my area of study, and there's a lot of background knowledge that y'all just don't have. Years worth of schooling."
"You are a scholar, then?" Fili questioned, looking half-skeptical, half-disappointed.
"No," I laughed, "All people have to go to school until they are adults, and another four years or so is common. I did five, but that was only because I wasted a year switching between schools and areas of study. Although," I paused, "I guess to you guys I might be considered a scholar. A scribe? Maybe? I write for people's entertainment."
They all just kind of looked at me, Thorin pausing in his task of jury-rigging Orcrist to go on his belt with his other sword. Dude was a walking armory.
"Writing for entertainment?" It was Thorin who asked the question, though all of them seemed almost, disappointed. Weird.
"Yeah," I slung the quiver over my shoulder, "Like fantasy novels and play scripts, you guys have those here, right?"
"I am not sure," Thorin murmured, "I have seen plays, but I do not think there was any writing involved. As for books, we have very few that are not tomes of learning and records of history. Those we do have are often only read by the lasses pining after romance."
Oh. I see. They must've thought I was some sort of smutty romance author. I laughed, wheezing as it sent my ribs to aching, "No, no. That doesn't sound anything like what I do. I write about great adventures, like a fellowship of friends overthrowing evil to save the world, or quests full of magic and monsters that the world thinks are only myth and legend. And the plays are scripted so that they are performed with the same words every time."
They looked relieved, though still somewhat confused. Kili and Fili began discussing these mysterious 'novels' but I ignored them in favor of trying to get the quiver and knives settled. The straps proved a little more complicated than I was expecting. It looked like somehow one of the knives was supposed to go on one hip, and the other opposite of the quiver. There were straps over my shoulders and around my waist and generally making me feel a little tangled up and ridiculous.
Suddenly, large, calloused hands took the straps from me, arranging them swiftly and easily. I blinked up at Thorin in surprise, then blushed.
"Thanks. I'm not used to so many straps."
"I can see," he quirked a little smile, "When we rest for the night, you should practice taking that on and off, until you can do it easily."
"Yeah, that's probably a good idea."
I didn't really want to think about him assuming that getting me home would be complicated enough that it would take Gandalf more than a day to figure it out. Admittedly, I thought it was going to be more than that complicated, but that was partly because he'd be looking into time travel until I found a chance to tell him otherwise, unless he already knew. And he's an Istar, so, odds are he already knows.
Just then, the alarm went up that something was coming, and I heard Radagast and his rabbits crashing through the bushes. Thorin all but dragged me behind him, which, touched, but totally puts a bit of a dent in my usefulness as an archer if you put the allies in my line of fire. I readied my bow anyway, stepping to the side a bit as if looking for a clear shot. Then Radagast burst in with all his panicked yelling of "Thieves, fire, murder!" and we all just sort of imitated fish in our confusion. I was expecting this, and I was still confused, I can't imagine how the others felt.
He was less, odd, then the movies portrayed him. More sane and socially awkward than insane forest-man on shrooms. And the whole bird's nest in his hair and poop on his face? Nope. There was a nest on top of his hat, but no poop. And no stick-insect on his tongue, either. He just sort of looked flustered about finding himself surrounded by dwarves, and requested to talk to Gandalf in private while we awkwardly sat around.
"Hey Fili, are rabbits that size normal?" I couldn't help myself, I had to ask.
"No Aria, I've never heard of rabbits big enough to pull a sledge."
"Weird."
He tugged on one of his mustache braids, opened his mouth to ask a question, then seemed to think better of it. Next to him, I could just hear Kili muttering 'weird' under his breath a few times, stretching out the vowels, then trying to mimic my accent. If I wasn't careful, they'd be talking like me by the end of the quest. I giggled.
"Excuse me, Miss Aria," Dori suddenly said from beside me, "It's just, I heard you say earlier that you're a sort of scribe, and I was just wondering if you know anything about drawing?"
I blinked, "Uh, yeah, a bit? Why do you ask?"
"It's just, my younger brother Ori, he fancies himself a bit of an artist, you see, only he draws instead of crafting woods or metals like most dwarves."
"Oh! Well, I'm sure he's a very skilled artist, if he's half as good with charcoal as most dwarves are with their crafts. I'd love to see some of his work."
"Well, yes. You see, I was wondering, is there work with the scribes for drawing?"
Ah, that was why he asked.
"I see. Yes, I'd say that every scribe that couldn't draw for themselves, which is most, would want to use his skills. Certainly those recording history. He could make likenesses of all the Kings and Heroes in the history books."
Dori smiled, looking immensely relieved, "Thank you lass!"
He gave me another hug, and I grinned, "Anytime, Dori. Anytime."
