I am alive! I know, I was surprised to learn that as well.

In all seriousness, these have been an IMMENSELY busy past few months, and I don't foresee an end to the business in the near future, but that said thank you all so much for following and commenting!

Don't worry, I fully plan to finish this story, and I apologize for how long I've been gone. I'll try my best to have the next chapter out sooner!

But without further ado … it's been long enough - over half a year! I think you all may be wondering who's coming back!

The prerecorded theme song of the Total Drama Aftermath blared loudly as a camera zoomed in on a talk show set. The audience applauded loudly as Geoff stepped out, smiling.

"What's up, dudes and dudettes?" the surfer dude grinned. "It's Geoff here with some more 'Total Drama Aftermath!'" Geoff paused to let the audience continue applauding. "Haha, and I couldn't forget a shout-out to my awesome aftermath peanut gallery! Let's hear it for the crew!"

Eva, Katie, Sadie, Beth, Trent, Justin, Harold, Leshawna, Lindsay, Izzy, and DJ smiled at the audience, accepting the cheers.

"But I've been dishonest with you, this isn't just the Total Drama Aftermath," Geoff revealed. "It's Aftermath After-Mayhem! I'll explain what that means later on, but for now we should just acknowledge the great mood I'm in! Anyone curious?"

"I'll bite!" Izzy shrugged. She proceeded to bite Harold, who cried out in pain.

"Why are you in such a great mood, Geoff?" DJ played along.

"An excellent question, my man, and it's simple!" Geoff cackled. "I sent Blaineley on a trip to visit her number one fan, so she's not here!"

"Blaineley has fans?" Eva retorted.

"Exactly! She's never going to find her number one fan, because whoever was portraying themselves as her number one fan was totally a troll or something," Geoff explained. "Meaning me and Bridge have this show all to ourselves!"

The crowd cheered at the removal of Blaineley, though Justin raised an eyebrow. "Where is Bridgette, anyway?"

Geoff looked around. "Bridgette? Babe?" He shrugged. "Sure she's just in the back, getting ready."

"Looking for someone?"

Geoff's eyes widened at a familiar voice from backstage, but laughed it off. "Man, Bridge, you got your Blaineley impression down pat!"

Blaineley stepped out of the shadows to reveal herself, to the shock of Geoff, the peanut gallery, and the audience. "Miss me?"

"B-But you're supposed to be -"

"Oh, I was assigned some trip across the world to talk to fans, or something," Blaineley interrupted. "But I sent Bridgette instead."

"You WHAT?" Geoff screamed. The large monitor above the set turned on, revealing a very worried-looking Bridgette somewhere in a blizzard. "BRIDGE!"

"H-Hey, Geoff," Bridgette meekly waved at the camera, as the audience gasped in shock. The surfer girl shivered. "Apparently, Blaineley's number one fan lives in Siberia, but me and the interns are caught in a s-super bad storm."

Geoff looked ready to cry. "BRIDGE, BABY! DON'T WORRY!" Blaineley, on the other hand, stood with a triumphant smirk.

"I've g-got to go, Geoff," Bridgette looked offscreen. "We need to find B-Blaineley's number one fan."

The camera cut out, and the audience gasped once again with shock. The peanut gallery glared at Blaineley, prompting Geoff to turn on his cohost. "You've done some messed up stuff, Blaineley, but this is so not cool."

"She'll be in good company with my fans," Blaineley shrugged.

"You only have one fan in the entire world and you couldn't be bothered to visit them?" Geoff mocked her. "Talk about taking the fans for granted!" The audience applauded at their apparent reference.

"Hey, don't you try and turn the fans against me!" Blaineley frowned.

"Didn't need to, they already are!" Geoff shrugged, taking a seat to audience applause. "Now, I think it's time we talked to four very special people, who weren't special enough to win that million dollars."

A montage showing the best of a particular Hispanic contestant appeared on the monitor, as Geoff continued. "Alejandro was a newbie, but demonstrated total skill as he mercilessly tore his way through the competition. He left no prisoners in his wake, and played a part in eliminating Harold, Leshawna, and DJ!"

"Don't forget Bridgette!" Izzy helpfully reminded, as the monitor showed Alejandro and Bridgette cuddling and going in for the dreaded kiss.

"I said I wanted that out of the montage!" Geoff angrily whispered into an earpiece, before regaining his composure. "Anyway, his Spanish charm wasn't enough to dupe his team, and he got the boot once Noah won over Owen and Tyler's votes against him. Please welcome Alejandro!"

The audience went wild as the toned strategist strolled out onto the stage, smiling and waving at the fans.

"He's so dreamy," Beth cooed.

Leshawna rolled her eyes. "If by dreams you mean nightmares, maybe. He's lucky Bridgette ain't here because the two of us would really give that boy a piece of our minds."

Alejandro took a seat across from Geoff. "It is a pleasure and an honor to be here tonight, my good Geoff."

Geoff stared at him distrustfully. "Bro, you can drop the act. I'm not falling for the charms from the guy who tried to kiss my girlfriend."

"You must understand, I had no romantic interest in Bridgette, and completely recognize and respect your relationship," Alejandro explained. "I was only playing the game."

"OH, THAT'S IT! HOLD ME BACK!" Leshawna stood up in the peanut gallery, held back by DJ.

Blaineley took a seat next to Geoff. "So, Alejandro, the fans are dying to know: in your eyes, who was the hottest contestant? Other than yourself, of course."

Alejandro looked up in thought. "As a gentlemen, I do not like to rate women - they are all uniquely beautiful." He blew a kiss to Katie and Sadie, who looked ready to pass out from excitement. "But if I absolutely must choose, then I suppose I will say Heather."

The audience hooted and hollered, and even the peanut gallery seemed impressed.

"They deserve each other," Leshawna agreed with Alejandro's choice.

"One last question before we have our next guest," Geoff questioned. "You seemed caught off guard by your elimination. Any regrets?"

For a moment, Alejandro's confident, friendly smile wavered. "Well, who among us actually expects our own elimination? My one regret is that I did not get closer to some of my teammates. Some of those gentlemen would make fine friends … I particularly enjoy the exploits of Noah."

"Noah, the guy who masterminded you being here instead of in the plane?" Blaineley raised an eyebrow.

"Water under the bridge, mi amiga!" Alejandro laughed, though his eye twitched slightly. This also went unnoticed.

"Thanks for your time, Al!" Geoff gestured for him to take a seat with the peanut gallery.

"Alejandro, por favor," Alejandro requested as he took a seat in between Sadie and Eva. "Hello, girls."

Katie and Sadie drooled all over him, and even Eva could not help blushing at his charm and good looks.

"Up next is a super controversial contestant!" Geoff pointed to the monitor as footage of a certain goth girl began playing. "Gwen played the game pretty well for a while, guaranteeing herself safety on her team while being on good terms with Cody and her new BFF Courtney. But after Duncan returned to the competition in London, and the two of them hooked up, it was all over."

"That's right, Geoff," Blaineley interrupted, taking over. "And let's make that two controversial contestants! Duncan and Gwen totally locked lips in the confessional not an hour after Duncan returned into the competition, all behind Courtney's back! That was pretty low!"

"Well, Gwen felt so bad about the whole ordeal that she voted herself out, and Duncan lost the trust of his teammates, especially after treating Tyler like dirt instead of like a teammate," Geoff replied. "He knew he was doomed, and voted for himself out of what may have been guilt as well. Let's give a warm welcome to Gwen and Duncan!"

The audience applauded, but no one appeared at the curtain.

"Duncan and Gwen!" Blaineley tried, as the music cue repeated. Still, neither appeared. She furrowed her brow. "What's going on back there?"

The monitor broadcasted the waiting room backstage, where Duncan consoled a nervous Gwen.

"They just called us," Duncan said. "I'm all for not listening to them and -"

"No, no, we should go," Gwen said. "They're going to be brutal, though. Worse than when all that stuff went down between me and Trent last season."

From the peanut gallery, Trent winced. Harold elbowed him. "Awkward. Gosh."

Gwen sighed, nodding at Duncan, and the two stood up. Geoff signaled the music cue a third time as the two of them entered the stage, holding hands. The audience was sharply divided, some cheering, some booing. Duncan growled at the crowd as he and Gwen took their seats across from Geoff and Blaineley.

"What's goin' on, guys?!" Geoff asked, genuinely excited to see his friends again after so long. "It's been forever! Duncan, bro, you and me haven't had time to hang since, like, the island!"

"It has been a while," Duncan agreed, giving the surfer dude a fist bump. "How you been, bro?"

"I've been doin' well, how about you?"

"Well, unfortunately, that's all the time we have for bro talk, because it's time to get to the stuff the viewers really want to know," Blaineley interrupted the light banter. "Gwen, Duncan, you guys are holding hands. Isn't that a little bold?"

"We'll do whatever we want," Duncan replied, nonchalantly.

"But how do you feel about all these eyes on you, Gwen?" Blaineley interrogated.

"Dude, chill," Geoff advised.

"Please, Geoff, you were just as ruthless last season," the cohost hushed, earning herself a few "ooooooo"s from the audience.

Duncan looked at Gwen, who shrugged. "Look, I like Duncan. Duncan likes me. Everything that happened on the plane sucked, but I voted myself off to get away from it, and to let Courtney enjoy herself. There's no sense worrying about it anymore."

"Good answer!" Geoff nodded.

"I disagree," Blaineley said. "Courtney, huh? Now that's a bag of worms we can really dive into."

"But we don't have time!" Geoff interrupted. "Instead, let's enjoy some world-famous 'That's Gonna Leave a Mark!'"

Blaineley rolled her eyes, though both Gwen and Duncan looked relieved that they would not have to talk about Courtney. The monitor blared to life.

==CLIP==

Duncan hobbled through the maze in Greece, trying to find the exit to join the rest of his team. As he turned one way, he tripped on the leg of a statue, but fell onto a brown furry mattress. As it turned out, this mattress was the boar bear, which growled at Duncan threateningly. Duncan swallowed a lump in his throat.

==CLIP==

As Noah, Tyler, and Duncan crept behind Owen through the minefield, the big guy being blasted with all sorts of weaponry that did not phase him, Tyler briefly lost his footing by tripping on a rock. Fortunately, he did not fall. Unfortunately, this rock housed an angry tarantula, which crept up his tracksuit leg. Tyler began howling as the hairy spider crawled all over his body, while Noah and Duncan simply stared at him in confusion.

==CLIP==

Heather's emu walked along at a steady pace. Heather slapped its rear a few times to speed it up, which the emu did not take to its liking. It briefly threw her off of its back, where she landed in front of an angry-looking kangaroo. One powerful kick from this kangaroo sent Heather right back to the emu, her face a little more bruised than earlier.

==CLIP==

Owen whistled as he walked out of the confessional bathroom, green stink clouds seeping underneath the door. A very angry Courtney stormed past Owen and into the confessional, though once she got one whiff of the horrendous odor, she bagan gagging, finally passing out and falling out of the confessional onto the hallway floor. Ezekiel cautiously stepped over her unconscious body, but then tripped over his own shoelaces.

Gwen and Duncan were now seated with the rest of the peanut gallery, as they all laughed along to the various missteps the contestants had taken. Everyone looked happy except for Blaineley.

"Now that we've all had our laughs, I think it's more important to get back to the drama," Blaineley smiled. "And our final guest has got plenty of drama to spare."

The TV monitor broadcasted the exploits of a certain lady-loving geek. "Cody's time on 'Total Drama World Tour' was certainly interesting to say the least. The dude got a taste of his own medicine when he got some unwanted attention from a super crazy fangirl, who treated him like both a child and a lover." Geoff shuddered at the implications of this.

"Once the love of his life Gwen was eliminated, though, Cody refused to back down from what he saw as pressure from Courtney to bully his team into submission, and though standing up to her gained him Heather's vote, Courtney was able to threaten Ezekiel and win a tiebreaker, keeping her place in the game," Blaineley finished. "Let's give a warm welcome to Cody!"

The audience loudly applauded as two interns dragged Cody out onstage. He was partially frozen in a large block of ice, and only his head was unfrozen. He smiled weakly at the rest of the peanut gallery.

"Looks like the dude's really gonna need a warm welcome," Geoff joked. "Cody, my man, may I ask what happened to you?"

"Well, uh, it's a funny story," Cody replied, as the tired-looking interns took out blow dryers to attempt to unfreeze him. "I didn't have a parachute after I was bucked out of the plane by that elk, but luckily the icy seawater broke my fall! Unfortunately, treading in the freezing water for hours gave me hypothermia and froze me solid, heh."

"Well, at least your head is okay, dude," Geoff smiled.

"Yeah, because now you can spill all the drama!" Blaineley agreed. Geoff rolled his eyes. "Cody, what made you turn against Courtney?"

"Courtney targeted Gwen and Duncan," Cody explained. "I couldn't take abuse to Gwen lying down. And Duncan could have been a potential ally!"

"That would have been pretty interesting," Duncan agreed.

"And how did you feel about Sierra's betrayal?" Blaineley asked. "You were depending on her vote, and she voted for Ezekiel!"

"That annoyed me," Cody agreed. "I mean, this girl is obsessed to me, to the point where I'm pretty sure most of my stuff is actually still on the plane because she hoards my belongings. And yet, when I actually need her to be by my side, she refuses! All I ask for is a little consistency!"

The audience seemed satisfied with this answer, and clapped accordingly.

"Cody, I need to know," Blaineley smiled deviously, alerting Geoff that she was going to ask something controversial. "Your love, Gwen, is dating your so-called 'potential ally,' Duncan. What was the long-term plan here?"

Cody thought this over. "Um, well -"

"I guess he'd cross that bridge when he got to it!" Geoff shoved Blaineley aside. "Thanks, Cody! You can have a seat with the peanut gallery."

Cody looked down at his frozen body and quickly realized that that would be impossible. The interns simply pushed him over to the peanut gallery.

"Ooo, I wonder what Swedish ice tastes like?" Izzy asked, licking the ice block containing Cody. As she tried to pull away, her tongue refused to go with her. "Uh-oh! It tastes like normal ice! Hey, guys, look! I'm Bridgette!"

Geoff shot Izzy a glare, but his anger was short-lived as he received a message from his earpiece. "We've got an incoming signal from Siberia! I hope my girl is okay!"

Blaineley rolled her eyes as an the video feed appeared on the monitor. It showed Bridgette, looking slightly afraid but mostly peeved off. "Hi, Geoff! Hi, peanut gallery!"

Geoff and the peanut gallery waved up at the monitor.

"What, no greeting for me?" Blaineley asked.

"Listen, Geoff, Blaineley's number one fan is not happy that she's not here," Bridgette continued, ignoring her. "They want to hear a song about Blaineley."

"A song about me?" Blaineley gasped in pleasant surprise.

"Y-Yeah," Bridgette confirmed. "And do it f-fast, it's freezing and her fan is getting impatient."

Geoff glared at Blaineley, then back up at the monitor. Suddenly, a mischievous smile appeared on his face. "Oh, Blaineley wants a song? I've got a song." He looked to the peanut gallery. "Drama Brothers, get up here!"

Harold, Justin, and Trent stood up, and Cody, his arms now partially melted out, was pushed over to an accordion by DJ. The four of them began to play a very Russian-sounding tune, as Geoff prepared to sing.

"Here's an open letter to a treasure of a girl," Geoff winked at Blaineley.

"That's me!" Blaineley beamed.

"Whose behavior on the show always makes me hurl," Geoff finished.

"What?"

"She's a nasty, fake-blonde schemer who calls herself your host!" Geoff pointed at the camera, walking over to a small army of hair stylists and manicurists. "Without the help of her entourage, her job would be toast! Hey!"

"Hey!" Blaineley cheered along with Geoff and her entourage, before the realization of what her fellow host had said seeped in. "Hey!"

"She'll tell you that she loves your shirt when it's something she can't stand," Geoff reported to DJ, who looked down at his shirt self-consciously. "She's just so full of you-know-what, she has to double-flush the can!"

"I eat a lot of fiber!" Blaineley shrugged.

"She bought two pairs of the same jeans - one size four, and one size eight - so when she wears the bigger ones you'll ask if she's lost weight!" Geoff revealed.

"Hey!" the Drama Brothers chimed in.

"She's not the gal you think she is, so let me tell you plainly," Geoff danced mockingly around Blaineley. "There's thick black hair between her toes, and her real name isn't Blaineley! She's a phony, scheming weasel-nose and her real name isn't Blaineley! She steals, and lies, and she's evil, bros, and her real name isn't Blaineley! It's Mildred!"

"Hey!" the Drama Brothers finished, as the audience applauded. The stream from Siberia turned off for the time being.

"Stop clapping!" Blaineley commanded in vain. The peanut gallery was laughing as well, even the cold, calculating Alejandro, watching Blaineley get her comeuppance.

Eventually, the applause died down, and the show proceeded as normal, albeit with even more tension between Geoff and Blaineley.

"Alright, so, Cody, Duncan, Gwen, and Alejandro, who are you guys rooting for now that you've gotten eliminated?" Geoff inquired.

"Gotta go with my boy Owen," Duncan said.

"Owen is probably the best person in the competition right now," Gwen agreed. "Though I do have a soft spot for Noah. Gotta love that dude's sense of humor. One of those two, for sure."

"I hope Heather wins," Cody said, eliciting some gasps of shock. "She's the only person who voted with me!"

"I cannot help but agree with my frozen friend," Alejandro nodded. "Heather is worthy of the million dollars."

"Alright, interesting, interesting," Geoff nodded.

"But not interesting enough," Blaineley said. "Let's move on to the 'Aftermath Aftermayhem' part of the show!" The audience cheered in excitement and anticipation, as Blaineley continued. "We're going to give you each a -"

"Uh, I was going to be the one to explain 'Aftermath Aftermayhem,'" Geoff interrupted.

"Well, too bad, I'm doing it," Blaineley interrupted. "You already sang that heinous song, I think it's time I did something."

"Heinous song that was totally true," Geoff muttered.

"What was that?"

"The song was true."

Blaineley stood up in fury. "It was not!"

"I literally cross-referenced everyone who has ever worked for you, bro," Geoff shrugged. "I did my research."

"Well, you must have fudged up somewhere!"

Now Geoff stood up, a confident smirk on his face. "Oh, really? Why don't we put it to the test with a game of Truth or Electrocution?!"

A dramatic camera fell onto an electric chair. Blaineley swallowed a lump in her throat, before glaring at Geoff. "Okay, so what if … some of it was true?"

"That's what I thought," Geoff grinned, as Blaineley sat down in defeat. "Now, 'Aftermath Aftermayhem!' Get ready for some serious stakes, Peanut Gallery!"

"Ohhhh, no. We're off of that stupid show now, you can't make us do anything with 'serious stakes,'" Gwen said angrily. Duncan and Leshawna nodded.

"Don't worry, guys, it's not anything hospitalizing," Geoff insisted, as an intern wheeled over a cart filled with tin cans. "Inside five of these tin cans are golden Chris heads. If you get one, you get a chance to - wait for it - rejoin the competition!"

The Peanut Gallery and the audience gasped in shock. Finally, Izzy jumped up. "IZZY WANTS ONE OF THOSE CANS!"

The reaction amongst the rest of the group was the same, as the Peanut Gallery stampeded Geoff, Blaineley, and the poor intern in order to grab a tin can.

Harold opened his can up, to find it empty. "What does the empty can mean?"

"It means you get squat, and won't be going anywhere," Geoff informed. "Sorry, dude."

"Ugh. Gosh," Harold took a seat, annoyed. Leshawna and DJ joined him shortly after, finding nothing in their tin cans.

Izzy pried hers open like an animal, and was soon greeted by a golden Chris head jumping out like a jack in the box. "I did it! I did it!" She looked around wildly. "See? See? I did it!"

Alejandro leaned in, taking note and seemingly studying the can. "Why, yes, Izzy, you certainly have done it."

Cody frustratedly tried to grab the last tin can in the cart, finding difficulty to reach over his frozen body. "Ugh! Come on!"

"I've got you, dude," Trent handed Cody the tin can.

"Thanks, man," Cody smiled, prying it open to reveal a golden Chris head. "Whoa! Awesome!"

"Nice, man," Trent noted, opening his own to also be greeted by a Chris head.

Duncan pried his open to find nothing, sighing with relief. Gwen opened hers and was nearly punched in the face by the golden Chris head. She grew a look of dread on her face. "Does anyone want mine?"

"That's not how we're playing this, Gwen," Blaineley stopped her act of charity. "You have to play to reenter, whether you want to or not."

The goth girl sighed and sat down again, as multiple other contestants opened their tin cans to find nothing - including Lindsay, Beth, Justin, Katie, and Sadie.

Eva walked over to Alejandro, preparing to open her tin can. Alejandro squinted at her tin can, before clearing his throat. "Excuse me, Eva, is it?"

"Huh?" Eva looked up, into Alejandro's soulful eyes. "Ohhh … Alejandro …"

"My brother Carlos is in the audience right now, senorita, and you were his favorite contestant," Alejandro lied. "I was wondering if you could give him a wave? It would mean a lot to me."

"O-Of course," Eva's usually snarky, bitter demeanor melted away as she smiled perikly at the audience. "Hi Carlos! Y-You've got a very amazing brother!"

As Eva looked out at the crowd, Alejandro quickly switched tin cans with Eva, having noticed that Eva's had had a very, very small golden sticker on the side that he had first noticed on Izzy's. Eva looked back at the true schemer, who smiled. "Thanks so much, Eva. I'm sure he is muy gracioso."

"Oh, well, bueno," Eva attempted to flirt, giggling like a schoolgirl. The rest of the Peanut Gallery stared at her like she had three heads.

Finally, Eva shook herself out of her stupor and opened her tin can, finding it empty. Alejandro opened his, and a golden Chris head popped out. "Que?!" he feigned shock.

"And Alejandro snags a chance to rejoin!" Blaineley noted. "Those of you with the golden Chris heads, hand them to me and walk over to the Total Drama Second Chance Challenge!"

A human-sized board game opened up from underneath the stage. Izzy sprinted over to it like a wild dog, followed by Trent, who pushed the partially frozen Cody, and a confident Alejandro. Gwen made up the rear, dreading the chance at rejoining. She looked up and made awkward eye contact with Trent for a few seconds, before both looked away.

"You lucky five have the chance to rejoin the game, through the Total Drama Second Chance Challenge!" Blaineley introduced. The large board had five rows of multiple squares, with either a flag or a face on each one.

"Each space has the flag of a country visited on the show, or the face of one of the final seven contestants - Courtney, Ezekiel, Heather, Sierra, Owen, Noah, and Tyler," Blaineley said.

"You'll roll a die, land on a space, and have to do that challenge!" Geoff explained. "But some of them are brutal, just a warning!"

"And not all of them may be what they seem," Blaineley warmed.

"Care to elaborate on that?" Trent asked.

"No, I don't!" Blaineley replied, smiling. "Now, let's get started! Izzy, you were the first to find your Golden Chris, so you can roll first!"

Izzy squealed with excitement as she tossed a giant die at Geoff, barely missing his head. The die landed on a six.

"Six is Izzy's lucky number!" Izzy cheered as she jumped ahead six spaces and landed on the Owen square.

"Oof, that's awkward!" Geoff giggled. "Your ex!"

"Hey!" Izzy turned defensive. "You don't see me joking about Alejandro and Bridgette like that!"

"Uh, yes, actually, you literally -"

"Time for your challenge," Blaineley interrupted Geoff, as Alejandro awkwardly rubbed the back of his head. "Eat two Jamaican chili peppers and drink milk, and then watch hilarious clips from the show! If milk comes out of your nose, you lose!"

Izzy eagerly chomped down on the chili peppers and guzzled the milk, before turning her attention to the monitor. Clips began playing of Owen sleepwalking, Noah dancing to a classical ballet in the confessional, Duncan picking his nose in his sleep, Tyler tripping multiple times in various settings, and Alejandro gagging at Owen's farts. Izzy remained steadfast.

"Nothing?" Geoff asked, bewildered that the milk and peppers remained in Izzy's mouth. Izzy shook her head as the timer went off, signaling that the passed the challenge.

Izzy swallowed, and explained. "I'm a Team Chris loyalist til the day I die! I WILL NOT MOCK MY FELLOW SOLDIERS!"

"Well, then, I guess Cody is up next!" Blaineley shoved the large die over to him. Cody tried in vain to reach the die, but could not due to the frozen state of most of his torso.

"Uh, I'll roll for him," Duncan offered, standing up and giving the die a roll.

"Thanks, man," Cody said, smiling as Duncan pushed him three spaces to the Greece space. The flag gave out underneath him, and Cody was sent plummeting into a trapdoor. Duncan awkwardly returned to his space.

"Ooo, looks like Cody's landed on a boobytrap space," Geoff winced, looking into the hole. "Tough break, dude. You're out."

"It's okay, my icy fortifications broke my fall," Cody groaned from the hole.

Trent nervously took the die and gave it a roll, constantly looking in fear at that looming trapdoor. After stepping forward a few spaces, he found himself on the Ezekiel square.

"It's time for the Ezekiel challenge!" Blaineley clapped her hands excitedly. "Trent, if you'll please step to the side here!"

The interns wheeled out a large scale model of a jet plane's wing. Trent raised an eyebrow as he approached it.

"Ezekiel has got mad survival skills - in fact, grabbing onto the plane after his elimination is what saved him, and gave him the opportunity to try again!" Geoff said. "So your challenge will be to hang onto this wing for ten seconds, as we blast you with super high-speed winds!"

"Uhhh -"

"Alright, get on there!" Blaineley encouraged, interrupting and rushing the concerned Trent. The guitarist grabbed the wing of the plane, and wind immediately came rushing into his face. He struggled to even open his eyes as the wind pushed back his face. Finally, he went flying offstage, loudly crashing into some boxes. Geoff and the peanut gallery winced, while Blaineley hungrily eyed the monitor. "Ooo, tough break, Geoff! Only six seconds! You're out of the Second Chance Challenge!"

"F-Fine by me," Trent limped his way back to his seat, clutching his newly-formed black eye.

"Gwen, you're up next!" Geoff smiled at the depressed-looking goth girl. She rolled the die and walked forward onto the Heather space.

"You must recite a haiku about Heather's positive qualities," Blaineley reported. "And you must do it within the next ten seconds. Go!"

"Perfect, now's my chance to get out," Gwen sighed. "Heather is the worst! I don't see how she's still in. She's like … a cockroach!"

"Nice haiku!" Blaineley complimented.

Gwen paled. "What? I wasn't trying to do a haiku!"

"Well then, I guess you did it involuntarily!"

"B-But, hold on, I had to do one on her positive attributes," Gwen smiled smugly. "I guess that means I'm out!"

"You talked about her survivalist nature, that sounds pretty positive to me," Blaineley replied. "You're still in it to win it!"

Gwen groaned. Alejandro put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "If it means anything, mi chica, I hope you get out."

"Wow, thanks," Gwen deadpanned.

Alejandro rolled the die, making his way to the Area 51 square.

"Alejandro, dude, you have to stay on this square while avoiding getting zapped by lasers for twenty seconds," Geoff explained. "If you get zapped … well, let's just say it won't be pretty."

Two of the same alien species from Area 51 floated down curiously, watching Alejandro's every move carefully.

"Is that all?" Alejandro shot a beaming smile, melting the hearts of many of the girls in the Peanut Gallery, as he began dodging the lasers. This turned into something of a dance, him perfectly outmaneuvering every single laser blast and doing so in a very rhythmic way. Even the aliens looked enamored.

"Aaaaand time!" Blaineley counted down. "You lasted the twenty seconds, Alejandro, which means you progress!"

"Bueno!" Alejandro bowed proudly.

"GIVE IZZY THE DIE!" Izzy cried impatiently. Geoff hurried the die over to her, and she threw it full speed at an intern. The intern went down, and the die revealed that Izzy had "rolled" a two. Izzy squealed with joy as she stepped forward, landing on Courtney's square.

"Your Courtney challenge will relate to something that Courtney recently did to escape elimination, and that's to ride on the back of an elk for ten seconds," Blaineley explained. An impatient elk was dragged out, and Izzy immediately jumped on it, cheering, hooting, and hollering. The elk seemed to realize the danger it was in, and ran around frantically, trying its best to buck Izzy off - to no avail. The timer ticked down until ten seconds were up.

"Great job, Izzy! You're still in it to win it!" Geoff smiled. His smile disappeared after a few more seconds. "Uh, you can get off of the elk now, dude."

"A FEW MORE MINUTES!" Izzy pleaded as the elk ran around the studio. The Peanut Gallery dove for cover, and Alejandro and Gwen leapt out of the way.

"Uhhh, interns?" Geoff called. He then looked back at the camera, smiling. "Let's continue, shall we? Gwen, I believe you're up?"

"Unfortunately," Gwen sighed, rolling the die. She stepped forward to the Swedish flag. Her fingers were crossed as she walked. "Come on, trapdoor, trapdoor … dang it."

"Your challenge is to balance three of Chef's Swedish meatballs on your nose for at least three seconds," Blaineley explained, stepping out of the way for interns to run by and take care of the elk and Izzy.

"You're kidding," Gwen deadpanned. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, I'm not doing that on camera."

"Well, you sure weren't afraid to do certain other things on camera," Blaineley pointed out. Duncan growled from the audience.

"Whatever," Gwen rolled her eyes, putting the meatballs on her face. They immediately fell off.

"Tough break, Gwen! There goes your chances at reentering the game!" Blaineley said.

"Good!"

As Gwen stormed off, Alejandro rolled the die. He stepped forward the allotted amount of spaces.

"Alejandro, it's time for the London challenge!" Blaineley revealed.

"Isn't that funny? That's where you got eliminated!" Geoff pointed out.

"Yes. Very funny," Alejandro smiled forcefully, his eye once again suffering from a twitch.

"The London challenge is to chase down Jack the Ripper, who will be played by one of our interns," Blaineley revealed a female intern in Ezekiel's old costume.

Alejandro smirked. "Sounds good to me."

"You've got thirty seconds, starting now!" Geoff started a stopwatch.

The Ripper took off, and Alejandro gave chase. Geoff and Blaineley tantalizingly watched the stopwatch as Alejandro chased the intern, before stopping. "Mi amiga, I must say, I am quite impressed with your speed."

The intern in the Ripper costume stopped, turning to see Alejandro, his face dripping with sweat, shooting her a flirting gaze. The result was instantaneous; "Jack the Ripper" seemed to practically melt. Alejandro was left with more than enough time to seductively stroll over and wrap an arm around the intern, and the intern did not seem to mind whatsoever.

"Kinda weird way of doing it, but you did it!" Geoff said.

"If that ain't the perfect representation of how that boy played the game …" Leshawna muttered to Lindsay, who predictably failed to understand.

"Alright, Alejandro, it's time to answer the final question," Blaineley took out a notecard. "You have made several enemies during your time in the game …"

Alejandro merely shrugged, and shot the audience a beaming smile.

"... and to make those enemies, you had to use a lot of underhanded tactics," Geoff finished. "To reenter 'Total Drama World Tour,' please list five dirty tricks you used against your fellow contestants."

"And because we love the extra juicy stuff, we want to hear about five people in the room right now!" Blaineley added.

Alejandro's beaming smile wavered. He scratched his chin, attempting to shrug the question off. "Ah, mi chica, I believe the question you have given me is subjective."

"I think we all know that's not true, pal," Geoff smiled back at him.

Alejandro sighed. "So be it."

"Let's get that counter up on the screen!" Blaineley pointed up at the monitor, where five empty boxes appeared onscreen. "You have thirty seconds. Go!"

"More than enough time," Alejandro replied. "Firstly, I convinced Harold to eliminate himself."

"Whaaat?" Harold asked, as his head appeared onscreen in one of the five boxes. "Not cool, man."

"Second, I coerced Bridgette into going in for a kiss, and allowing her to meet a pole instead."

Geoff frowned deeply as Bridgette's head appeared in a second box onscreen. Somewhere in Siberia, Bridgette felt a shiver go up her spine, and it didn't feel like one from the Russian cold.

"Third, I made Leshawna lose her focus throughout the Germany challenge, throwing her off her balance, so to speak."

"HOLD ME BACK, DJ! HOLD ME BACK!" Leshawna once again tried to give Alejandro a piece of her mind, as her head appeared in a third box on the monitor.

"Speaking of, I strategically lied and said that DJ's good luck charm wasn't working, while in earshot of DJ himself," Alejandro shrugged.

DJ looked offended, and seemed to briefly consider letting go of Leshawna, as his head filled up the fourth box on the monitor.

"Five seconds left!" Blaineley counted, as she and Geoff watched the counter.

"And finally, I conned Eva out of her golden Chris head with an elaborate lie about my brother being in the audience," Alejandro finished, just as a buzzer sounded, signaling time was up.

"WAIT, WHAT?!" Eva's previously flushed face turned a beet red with anger, as everyone else in the peanut gallery moved over in their seats. Even Leshawna's anger subsided, replaced with worry, which quickly evolved into an evil smirk.

"Nice going, Alejandro, you pissed off Eva," she laughed.

"Alejandro is safe from all physical acts of violence!" Blaineley announced, as two beefy security guards grabbed Eva by both arms.

"Aw, he is?" Geoff said dejectedly.

"Yes … for now. But who knows what will await him back on that deathtrap of a plane?" Blaineley said.

Alejandro's eyebrow arched. "Do you mean -"

"That's right, Alejandro! You're our lucky winner, and have guaranteed yourself a place back in the game at the expense of the respect of your peers in the peanut gallery."

Alejandro turned to the peanut gallery, who scowled at him. Even Beth, Katie, and Sadie grew expressions of sadness, as they realized their dream hunk had a few skeletons in his closet.

===CONFESSIONAL===

"Who cares what these has-beens think of me?" Alejandro shrugged. "They're not the ones with the power in the game. And as long as those seven idiots in that plane don't suspect me, I couldn't care less."

His smirk grew. "Alejandro is back, baby. And his substitute schemer will be the first to go."

As Alejandro was graciously led offstage by some interns, one former contestant was up in arms.

"I WAS ROBBED! ROBBED, I TELL YA!" Izzy shrieked.

"YOU WERE ROBBED?" Eva protested.

"It should be one of y'all walking back to that plane right now," Leshawna agreed.

"But instead, we'll be heading to our super secret finale location!" Geoff segued. He turned to the camera. "That's where we'll be chillin' the next time you see us! Don't go far - the final eight will dwindle down to two before you know it! Thanks for tuning in to 'Total Drama Aftermath Aftermayhem!' We'll see you on the flip side!"